Original subtitles

Well, that reminds me.

Bye now.

conditions this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper page and love

and tradition of the grand design some people say it's even harder to find

well then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle

walls because all i see is a tower of dreams

You left before I could finish singing.

Oh, did I?

Listen, I'd offer you some hot chocolate, but you're not going to stay

long.

Oh. Well, I'd say thank you, but there's no reason to.

Bye. Well, what are we?

Aren't you at all curious why I'm dressed to the nines and singing to you

dulcet tones?

Dulcet tones?

Our Dustbuster sings better than you.

Relationship doesn't need a milestone.

It needs a tombstone.

Never give up bubbling brown sugar.

In fact, I'm going to do something so romantic, so gallant, and so fabulously

grandiose that your heart will melt and you will be mine forever.

you would have said.

And this is my daughter, Gwendolyn. Why, hello, Gwendolyn. I'm Harriet Winslow,

and this is my nephew, Richie.

Welcome to the hood.

Thanks.

I think I'm gonna like it here.

Listen, Gloria, let's go have some coffee, and then I'll give you the

your new neighbors.

You're not gonna gossip, are you?

I sure am. Oh, good.

Play nice, kids.

report card today.

Oh? Oh, Carl, her grades are just a little less than perfect.

So when you look at her report card, try to show some compassion.

Well, of course, Mother.

Okay, Judy, let's have it. Here you go.

Would you look at these grades? These grades are terrible.

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

That's one of your old report cards.

Here is Judy's

report card.

Oh. Beef and seas.

Not bad.

Thanks, Grandma.

You're welcome, sugar.

Gwendolyn's here to see you.

time to move.

Oh, greetings, hombres.

Steve, why are you pulling a crazy stunt like this?

Carl, unfortunately, my legendary love for your daughter is...

Therefore,

I shall remain here upon your roof until Laura Winslow sees the folly of her

ways. But, Steve, this time of year, the nights up here are very cold and very

windy.

I've got my love to keep me warm.

Uh, Dad, can I have a word with you down by the gutter?

What is it, son?

Why aren't you kicking Steve off of here? Simple.

As long as he's on our house, he can't be in our house.

Will you go out with me? No.

Then here I stay.

Look, you're wasting your time. I will never go out with you. Oh, yes, you

No, I won't.

Steve, this is crazy.

Laura, I don't care.

Men swim oceans, climb mountains, and trudge across deserts for their women.

The least I can do is sit on top of a middle -class tract house.

Look, the radio says we're in for a cold snap.

even snow well let mama nature take her best shot you want to know why because

i'm a man a manly man a manly airco man fine

steve it'll be just you and the pigeons pigeons who do they bite

and work in the night shift is working in a snowstorm.

Laura, aren't you worried about Uncle Steve?

He's not your uncle, and he can climb down anytime.

You ordered Chinese?

Up on the roof.

Good night, kids.

Keep a secret?

Sure. Swear like a bear?

Two times square.

Don't tell me.

Well, yesterday I was over at Gwendolyn's house playing Legos. So what

Well, Gwendolyn asked me if I wanted to go with her and see Snoopy on ice.

I said sure.

Well, that's nice.

Yeah, but then I noticed Gwendolyn was giving me this real goofy look.

What look?

something crazy.

Something weird.

Something disgusting.

What? She kissed me.

Whoa, well, what did you do?

I called her a duty hit, and then I ran home and scrubbed my face until my skin

got red.

Oh, well, Richie, it sounds like Gwendolyn wants you to be her boyfriend.

I call Gwendolyn a duty head.

You call Uncle Steve names?

Well, that's different. How come?

Never mind.

Look, Gwendolyn really cares about you.

And even though you don't feel the same way about her, it's not right to hurt

her feelings.

Oh, gee.

This boy and girl's...

I think you should call Gwendolyn and tell her you're sorry for calling her a

duty head.

I guess you're right.

Tell her you'd be happy to see Snoopy on ice with her, but just as a friend.

Hey, that's good.

Thanks, Laura. You sure are a good straightener -outer.

Anytime, Richie.

I think it's time I start following my own advice.

Me?

Brought you a blanket.

Oh, my little Florence Nightingale. Be careful. This roof is slipperier than a

used car, salesman.

Oh, thank you, darling.

Sorry for you, Steve.

Don't blow it. Right.

Listen, have you heard any weather reports?

Yeah, these snow floors are supposed to stop by dawn. Oh, good.

Just before the blizzard hits.

Not good.

Look, I've been thinking about what you're doing here, and I must admit that

is kind of romantic.

In a bizarre, twisted, obnoxious sort of way.

You love me, don't you?

No, my feelings for you haven't changed.

And they never will.

Ow.

What? Bite.

Oh, praise God, there's a bite.

But if you can convince me that you truly understand my feelings...

Just maybe we could go out on a date.

As a friend.

Oh, Laura, my lady, my love.

Your friend. Right, my friend.

Do you suppose we could commemorate this occasion

with a hug?

Well, I guess somebody will see.

Steve, let go.

I'm sorry. I'm just being friendly.

I'm so excited. You and me on a date. Now, Steve.

This will be my chance to impress you. I'll knock your socks off.

With what?

With my charm.

Right there I went.

My.

San Juan.

See?

Well, Steve, a deal is a deal.

I promised you that we would have a date, and here we are. Not just a date.

dinner date.

Open up the hanger.

Here comes the jello plane.

This is the best.

Family Matters is a Miller -Boyette production in association with Lorimar

Television and is distributed by Warner Brothers Domestic Television

Distribution.