Original subtitles

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She's a nine.

Eight. Eight and a half, easy.

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Totally.

A fox walks by, we give her eights and nines, and you give her a four.

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Four.

All right, guys. Cool it. Just watch.

I have an opening line that's never missed.

Mainly because I haven't tried it yet.

Hi there.

Beverly, my name's Arnold Jackson.

We're practically in the same English class, except you have Mrs. Pomola at 10

and I have Mr. Wilkes at 1 .30.

Pleased to meet you practically, classmate.

So, uh, you come here often?

A lot.

Isn't it a great place?

Yeah!

dance and meet great guys.

Sure.

But I really come to watch the musicians.

They're so sexy.

Don't you agree?

Yeah!

You know, I'm a musician.

Really? Yeah.

I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I play the sweetest music you've ever

heard.

Well, I've always had a thing for saxophone players.

That's what I play.

Are you in a band?

A band?

Oh, sure, of course. Hey, I'm in a band. Wow.

What's the band's name?

Uh, the band's name is, uh, uh, The Frozen Heads.

The Frozen Heads?

What a great name.

Hey, you know, I'd love to see you play your saxophone sometime.

Yeah, uh, I'm sure you would, uh, but we're so busy, uh, laying track.

and fixing the wax and picking up sticks and mixing the mix.

That's a musician talk.

I bet you're good.

Hey, why don't you play here at the next sandwich tonight?

Ah, well, I'd love to, but there's a lot of bands here. You know, they

want to play at the club because it's popular.

It's a long waiting list.

No problem.

I know the owner.

You do?

Yeah, me too.

Hi, guys.

Hi, Arnold.

Hi, Dad.

Dad,

isn't it all right if we practice in here?

Why wouldn't it be?

Because we're loud and not real good.

I prefer classical music, so I'll be upstairs.

Okay, guys, let's get set up. Today is a great day for us. Arnold, I think this

is a pretty dumb idea.

professional musicians already.

Charlie's in a school band.

He's third cymbals, Arnold.

Charlie, you've played the bass guitar for years.

And Robbie, he filled in on the lead guitar to Melman Bar Mitzvah. And you?

I'm a fast learner.

Look, don't worry.

All we have to do is play a couple of songs and we'll be mobbed by women.

Me and Beverly and you guys with the leftovers.

At the bar mitzvah, all I got was a hug from Mrs. Melman.

She got chopped liver on my glasses.

Wow, Arnold, this is neat.

You really have a band?

That's right, sport.

Can I be in it? I play guitar.

I sing.

And old ladies like to pinch me on the cheeks and say I'm cute.

Sorry, Sam, we're not playing in any bingo parlors. Now beat it.

is going, we can get started.

Oh, by the way, who's going to be doing the singing? I can sing.

You?

come from another generation. I don't really understand today's music. Well,

it's just like yesterday's music, only not boring.

Well, thanks for tearing that up for me.

Okay, can we call it a night, fellas? It's way past Sam's bedtime.

Mr. D, rock and roll never goes to bed.

On school nights, it does.

Night, guys. Good practice, guys. In two weeks, the frozen heads will be on

everybody's lips.

music lessons.

Oh, that's all right. That offer is still open.

That's all right, Dad.

I think I'm working out pretty well on my own.

I know you are, but I happen to know this musician. He plays at the Crestland

Club. He's been playing, I don't know, 50 years. Maybe he could help you polish

up your technique.

All right.

That lesson couldn't hurt. I'll set it up.

Good night, boys. Good night. I'll set it up.

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My father couldn't make it. Oh, now, come in, come in. I see the family

resemblance.

That earring makes you look a little like your mother.

I have her eyes.

And I thought these shades were wild.

But, man, that hat's outrageous.

I was just going to do a little sparring with my older son, Willis. Please, come

in. Arnold, your teacher's here.

Tell me, have you been playing very long?

Well, Dad says I was born with a saxophone in my hand.

Must have been very painful for your mother.

Wow, Dad.

I didn't know you knew anyone this cool.

Well, I don't really.

This is Bill Kingsley, Jr., Arnold.

Bill, this is my son, Arnold. Hi, Arnold.

Hi.

I'll leave you guys to go to work.

Would you give my best to your father, please? Sure thing.

Well, Arnold.

So I know where to start. Let's see what you've learned so far.

Okay. Why waste time when all I have to do is polish up the rough edges?

That's great.

But have you tried playing?

That's the rough edge.

Well, don't sweat the details.

You see, the saxophone is like a woman.

Play her wrong, and you get nothing but squawks and screeches.

But handle her right, and you'll be making beautiful music for a long, long

time.

Well, all I have to do is make beautiful music by next Friday.

Let's start from the beginning.

Stand straight so you can get plenty of air into the diaphragm.

Hold on to this.

Firm, but flexible.

Mouthpiece, halfway in.

Bite gently.

Breathe deep.

Cheeks firm.

Now play a skill.

quiz for the day. We don't want to get stale.

Charlie, your last eight bars were flat. I'll flatten his eight bars.

I'm sorry you stopped playing. I really wanted to hear more.

Well, you know us pros, we have to save our lips for the show and other things.

So, uh, can I buy you a soda or a condom medium?

Anything you say, music man.

Well, it just comes naturally.

Musically speaking, Speaking, I am the engine on the soul train of life.

Good, Sam. See you later.

Hey, great set, guys. Great set. You sounded great. Thanks, man. Sam, we got

talk to you about something important.

Yeah, you have talent.

And you count the four great.

Well, we want you to be our leader.

Wow.

Leader?

Maybe I could change our name to the Frozen Redhead.

Maybe. But as leader, there's also responsibility.

right man for the job.

Yeah, and there's one little problem that you can help us out with.

Really? What do I have to do?

Fire Arnold.

They deserve it. You can control the bullet to go wherever you want. Junie,

don't you have... Disaster movie.

Is that your feet? And this is my baby's foot.

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You hit me in the nose.

Willis, I hardly touched you.

I know that.

Yeah, and the heck with that.

Girls like my face the way it is, gorgeous.

You know, there must be sports you don't get hit in.

Hi,

Sam.

Mr. D., we need to have a man -to -man talk.

Oh, boy, that sounds serious.

Sit down.

Okay.

Sam. What's up, Sam?

The guys made me the leader of the Frozen Heads.

So now you're the Head Head.

Congratulations, that's great.

Now they want me to fire Arnold.

Oh, I see.

I guess it makes you feel kind of bad to think of having to do that, huh?

This sudden interest in music of Arnold's.

If I know him, there's a girl in there somewhere.

You're amazing, Mr. D. I think her name is Beverly.

Sam, you really have to help Arnold.

Embarrassing yourself in front of your friends is bad.

But embarrassing yourself in front of a girl is much worse.

Why don't you just speak to him honestly about this? I mean, he's almost an

adult. Let him make the decision.

How do I do that?

Well... Just tell it to him straight.

I mean, take a deep breath.

Screw up your courage.

Hey, this horn I got is really hot.

The bevel is mine and everything's going to be just fine.

Hi, Arnold.

Hey, Sam.

Today is the best day in the history of the world so far.

I know I'm not great, but I'm not that bad.

Yes, you are.

I don't believe it. You're going to fire me.

Arnold, you're my brother, so I can't do that.

But you really stink.

So you should think twice about making a fool out of yourself in front of

Beverly.

Mr. Kingsley. Thanks for coming over.

Arnold, from the way you sounded on the phone, I thought you swallowed your

mouthpiece.

No, no, I'm fine.

Look, I want your honest opinion.

How good am I?

You have, uh, potential.

Okay, I stink.

Let's say I took five days of intense round -the -clock lessons.

How good could I be?

Well, if... Five days of intense lessons.

You could be a very bad saxophone player.

Very bad, that's not good.

No, that's not good.

My band's playing Friday night.

In front of people?

No, house pets.

Of course people.

Friends.

I don't know what to tell you, Arnold.

It takes time to become a good musician.

But I didn't do this to become a good musician.

I did it to get girls.

But I like the music, too.

I just don't have the time.

I'm going to make a fool of myself.

It's not just girls.

It's Beverly, the girl.

She makes me feel things inside I only feel when I eat bad fish.

way to get you out of this.

Move to another city?

Now I know two ways.

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You were right to save your lips.

I saved them all right.

And it's a good thing, too.

Because I can think of plenty of things we can do with them.

Is something wrong?

I can't do this.

of me playing the sax.

What?

It was my teacher behind the curtain.

You didn't play any of that?

Not a note.

I couldn't let you think I played that well.

You can't build a relationship on a lie.

You mean the one that just ended?

Oh, come on.

This is from my heart. I'm being honest.

How old is your teacher?

movie where I pour out my heart to you and you see how sensitive I am and you

fall in love with me anyway.

Does he have a son?

I don't know.

What's a guy so much for?

He plays a wicked saxophone.

I will too someday.

But it won't matter.

But you said you like sax players.

I do.

But that doesn't mean I don't like other people too.

But you lied to me.

Goodbye, Arnold.

And who'd guess that an old guy like you could play such great rock and roll?

Son, just remember.

She dumped me.

Same thing happened to me when I was your age.

I know how you feel.