All language subtitles for diffrent_strokes_s07e07_the_honorable_arnold_j_jackson

Now the world don't move to the beat of
just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some. A man is
born, he's a man of means.

Then along come two, they got nothing
but the genes. But they got different

strokes to take, different strokes to
take, different strokes to move the

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

It don't matter that you got not a lot.

So what? I'll have theirs and you'll
have yours and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine. Different
strokes to move the world. Different

strokes to move the world.

And isn't it also true that you took
that piece of lemon pie that I had

hidden in the back of the refrigerator
and ate it?

It wasn't me, Arnold.

Honest. It must have been someone else,
like a pie burglar.

And isn't it also true that you went to
bed without dessert that night?

Would you believe I've been watching my
figure?

What I do believe is in the dark of the
night, you snuck out of your bunk and

slipped into the kitchen and gobbled up
my piece of pie.

And I have the evidence to prove it.

on your pillow.

Okay, I did it, I did it.

I'm sorry, Arnold.

You're a really fine lawyer, Arnold.

And I really believed you ate that pie,
Sam. That's one fine acting job.

I wasn't acting.

Sam, that was the last piece.

I'm going to see you tonight for
sentencing.

You could get five to ten.

Guess I took care of him.

And I'll do the same when I defend
Dudley in student court today. You'll be

terrific, Arnold.

I better be, because Jennifer Smith is
covering the trial for the school

newspaper. And I'm talking Jennifer
Smith with the legs that reduce men to

and boys to babies.

You sound serious about Jennifer.

Uh, let me put it this way. I think the
both of you better start thinking about

where you're going to send us on our
honeymoon.

a toss -up between Paris and Disney
World.

Arnold, I think you ought to take the
student court more seriously than that.

It's an opportunity to learn about the
law.

And I'm sure the kids feel that it's
fair when they judge each other. It's a

smart idea.

And courts can be fun, too, Arnold.

Like my cousin Longhorn Apple, Colonel.

Longhorn Apple?

What was he on trial for? His name?

No, no. For making moonshine.

Oh,

I remember Longhorn at our wedding.

He wore tennis shoes and drank champagne
out of a mason jar.

Did Longhorn get off?

Sure he did. The judge was Cousin
Shorthorn Apple.

I won't need any relatives.

The only weapon I need is my golden
tongue.

And a dopey judge couldn't hurt either.

Johnson, a pillar of our student
community, is not the kind of guy to

rotten eggs at a rotten rival team
school bug.

He would not, he could not, and he did
not.

He would, he could, and he did.

And I beg the court not to let Arnold
Jackson, this sleazy, fast -talking

mouthpiece, cloud the issue.

Dudley's wanton and reckless acts have
made our whole school look

In the interest of serving truth,
justice, and the American way, the

calls Lisa Hayes to the stand.

I'm going to bury you.

Okay, Lisa, tell the court exactly what
did you see happen.

Well, I was standing in the schoolyard
thinking about the many extra credit

assignments I've completed this term.

Lisa, just take the relevant facts.

Very well.

Well, it was right after our glorious
team's narrow loss to Fremont Junior

Narrow? We lost 79 to 3.

I'm sure that's why Dudley pelted their
team bus with eggs.

And just where was the alleged Dudley
when he threw the alleged eggs?

In the schoolyard. I saw the eggs hit
the bus and I ran around the corner and

there was Dudley standing there with a
guilty look on his face.

And if you had his attendance record,
you'd look guilty, too.

He's got you there, Lisa.

Robbie.

Yes, Mrs. Stone.

Order in the court.

So, you never actually thought that we'd
throw those eggs?

Well, no, I just assumed...

You're just myth.

Your Honor, I called Dudley A. Johnson
to the stand.

Hey, Jennifer, watch this.

Dudley, who was the pitcher in the final
baseball game?

I was.

And where did your first pitch land?

The dugout.

And your second pitch?

The snack bar.

And your third pitch?

There wasn't one. The coach chased me
off the field.

In other words, you're not much of a
pitcher.

What are you talking about? I pitched a
no -hitter. I didn't hit anybody.

Dudley, take this baseball.

Throw it to Mr. Stone.

Dudley, no, wait a minute. Dudley, no,
wait a minute.

I lost my case.

Sorry. This man could not hit a school
bus.

In fact, he couldn't hit a school.

Lisa, do you have anything else to say?

Only that I can't believe you're
listening to this legal mouth -to -mouth

defense.

Arnold, any closing remarks?

Uh, yes, Your Honor. But just for the
prosecuting attorney.

What's your decision?

Not guilty.

Oh, Arnold, that was wonderful the way
you saved Dudley. Can I get a picture

the newspaper?

Okay, but only if you get my goodbye.

He's usually pitting on it.

How about an interview at lunch
tomorrow, Arnold?

Why wait? Let's do it over a banana
split now, my sweet 'un.

I wrote about the trial, your brilliant
interview made my story that much

better.

I figured it would.

Oh, Arnold, you're so cute.

I think I'm going to have my cheek
bronzed.

Or would you like to go for bronze lips?

Arnold, how can you hold hands with that
rat fink?

Watch your mouth, Robbie. This rat
fink's my main squeeze.

Look. Look what this cheese nibbler
wrote about me.

Nerd presides over student court.

A nerd. She called me a nerd.

Ah, that's probably some mistake.

Yesterday, Robbie Jason, a real nerd,
presided over student court.

His nerdly behavior reduced the
proceedings to a mockery. It says, see

nerd continued.

Jennifer, did you write this? Of course
I did. It's true.

Well, look.

If anybody can see the humor in this,
I'm sure Robbie can. Right, Rob?

It's not funny. Since this came out,
half the school's not talking to me.

here comes Mr. Stone. He'll study this.

And, Mr. Stone, I really enjoy helping
you with these attendance sheets.

I took them home last night, and in only
three hours, I was able to put them in

alphabetical order.

Thank you, Lisa.

Mr. Stone, I think we've got a problem
here. Look at this.

Oh. Oh, yes, the nerd article.

Jennifer, I want to talk to you about
that.

You should, sir, because I've heard the
whole school thinks I'm a nerd. I walk

down the halls and hear hundreds of
voices going, and I don't even laugh

that. Well, obviously, Robbie feels he's
been libeled, so I guess this should be

settled in student court.

That's not very fair and equitable, sir.

I'm glad you think so, Lisa, because...
I'm appointing you as Robbie's lawyer.

Defend this fool.

Lisa.

I'm honored to be chosen, sir.

I love it when you squirm, Lisa.

And Arnold, although both Jennifer and
Robbie are your friends, I'm sure you'll

have no trouble being fair.

Sir, I don't understand.

You're going to be the judge.

What are you talking about, Mr. Stone?

What's up, everyone? Pete here, and
welcome to Blue Hippo, where anyone can

a brand -new, brand -name computer
regardless of their credit. Take a look

this. You can send emails, download
music and video, even organize your

finances. This is a fully -loaded
desktop computer.

Let's take a call.

Hello, caller?

Yeah, hi. I have really bad credit, and
I've been turned down before. Can you

really help me get a computer?

Do you have an active checking account
and a home phone number?

Yes, I do. Well, that's all you need.

So whether you want a desktop or you
prefer the convenience of a laptop, you

get either one regardless of your
credit.

And if you order now, we'll send you a
free color printer and a free flat

TV so you can watch your favorite shows
and movies and print and email digital

photos. So to be clear...

When you order today, you can get your
choice of a brand new desktop or laptop

with tons of great software, plus a free
color printer and a free LCD TV.

And remember, there is no credit check
and your approval is guaranteed.

But you must call Blue Hippo now.

We start with a fresh grade A egg. We
break it. Then we fix it. So you can

your day sunny side up.

That's what we're made of.

No preservatives. No fillers. No, no,
no. The only thing in our beef is beef.

Take your teeth into that.

That's what we're made of.

I love when, you know, you want to win a
championship game. Josh has good hands.

Sometimes he just loses the ball. Not my
game.

Two words, Chief.

Contact lenses.

Pretty subtle about that. Yeah, little
as a hammer.

I thought they were dry and
uncomfortable.

No, you don't even feel them. I tell
Josh about Acuvue Oasis. Doctors know

Acuvue Oasis is the only lens with
HydraClear Plus. That means comfort on

field and off. Wow.

I can't feel them at all. Josh got
Acuvue. Josh got his game back. For a

trial pair certificate, go to Acuvue
.com.

Hello. Welcome home, baby.

Oh, that's a booty call.

Look at that. It's been our group. We
never kiss each other.

The city.

Why'd you move to New York? To fall in
love.

The movie.

How often do you guys have sex? All day,
every day. It's impressive.

On May 30th. Are we having wine? Yes.
Glass or a bottle?

It's never been bigger. Bigger than big.

When I get married, I'm wearing
something like that. Only bigger.

Sex and a thing. Rated R. May 30th, only
in theaters.

The chocolate chips everybody wants.
Chips ahoy. They go best.

Thanks, Maggie.

Sam, choosing between my best friend and
my girlfriend is like you having to

choose between rocky rolling chocolate
chocolate chip ice cream.

It can't be Donald.

At least I lucked out and got the trial
postponed until tomorrow.

Good idea. That'll give you extra time
to study your case.

Actually, I wanted the extra time to get
hit by a bus.

Get your mind off it, Arnold.

Dig into my mother's famous down -home
seafood soup.

No, thanks, Maggie. I don't have any
appetite.

What am I going to do about tomorrow?

How can I stab Robbie in the back?

Don't stab Jennifer in the back.

who's the most beautiful girl in the
world?

Arnold, so long as you judge the case
fairly, even if you have to decide

Jennifer, I am sure she will still
respect you.

But will she still date me?

Isn't respect enough?

You can't take respect to the prom.

All right, people. Now, this is Smith.

versus Jason.

Robbie, the plaintiff, is suing
Jennifer, the defendant, for libel.

Lisa Hayes will represent Robbie, and
Jennifer will defend herself.

Okay, now, all rise.

Roosevelt Junior High Student Court is
now in session.

Arnold Jackson presiding.

Arnold, you're supposed to gavel the
court to order.

And I will as soon as I find my hands.

Okay. Why don't we hear from you first,
as long as your big mouth's already

open?

I intend to prove to this court that the
article written by Jennifer Smith has

no basis in fact and serve only to
damage my client's reputation.

He's not a nerd.

A little goofy, maybe.

But, uh, definitely not a nerd.

In fact, I ask the court to think about
the...

character of this poor suffering victim.

A man who doesn't drink.

A man who doesn't smoke.

A man who doesn't chase women.

This man is a bore, ladies and
gentlemen.

But he's not a nerd.

We're looking at a veteran here.

A man who spent two years in the Cub
Scouts where he was decorated.

That's right. And I've got a purple
heart to prove it.

I've burned my lip on a toasted
marshmallow.

Okay, Jennifer, the court would like to
hear from you now.

Thank you very much, Your Honor.

Mr.

Stone, I move that Arnold Jackson
disqualify himself as the judge.

On what grounds, Lisa?

On the grounds that he has the hots for
Jennifer.

Motion overruled. I do not have the hots
for Jennifer. You may proceed, my

little buttercup.

That's your honor, Pooh.

Well, I've done a little research, and
I've learned in a libel case, truth is a

perfect defense.

In other words, if I call somebody a
nerd, and he really is a nerd,

then it can't be libel.

Isn't that right, Mr. Stone?

That's correct, Jennifer.

Then I've got...

caught your idea of a date.

If you're this weekend, I'd take you to
my stamp club meeting.

We're having a great lecture.

Inferior glue.

Can we lick the problem?

I could rest my case on that one, but I
won't.

Could Robbie please come up and stand
next to the easel?

buttoned at the top.

Pocket protector full of pins.

Pocket protector full of pins.

And of course, the nerd lamp.

I've got you there.

Hey,

Robbie,

maybe you should start thinking about
plea bargaining.

Would you settle for being called a
wimp?

A wimp?

No way.

I'm walking out of here either a free
man or a nerd.

Your Honor, I'll spare the court those
kind of cheap theatrics and call

out my expert witness.

Mr. Stone, please bring in the reform
nerd.

Check him in.

Would you please state your name?

You can just call me the unknown nurse.

Wait a minute.

Dudley, is that you?

I can't say. I'm anonymous.

Dudley, that is you.

You're disqualified.

Get out of here.

Sorry, Robbie.

Robbie, this isn't looking too good for
you.

Lisa, do you have any other evidence or
witnesses on Robbie's behalf?

No, Your Honor, I don't.

Well, Arnold, you've heard all the
evidence and the facts.

Have you reached a decision?

Yes, Mr. Stone.

The decision is... The decision is...

that I'll have it tomorrow.

Court adjourned until 3 p .m.

Hi, son.

Hey, you seem to have something on your
mind tonight.

You want to talk about it?

I don't need to.

I've reached a decision.

I'm quitting.

I'm turning in my gavel.

Are you sure that you want to do that,
Arnold?

Positive.

Well, I realize that you do have a
pretty tough decision to make.

Now I know why that judge in people's
court gets so cranky.

I guess up till now about the toughest
decision you've ever had to make is

figuring out what you wanted for
Christmas.

Oh, but Dad, that's a grueling six
-month dilemma.

And all the time living with the fear of
opening my gifts and finding underwear.

You know, as we get older, we have to
face dilemmas that are a lot more

important than that.

I'm finding that out.

If I fight against Robbie, I'll hurt his
feelings.

If I side against Jennifer, I'll lose
her, and that'll hurt my feelings.

Well, she does have nicer legs than
Robbie.

All right.

See, Arnold, this is the kind of a
decision that you just can't let your

feelings interfere with.

You've got to use your head and do
what's right.

It's all part of growing up.

Why do I always get stuck in a position
where it's going to cost me some of my

friends? Arnold, look.

I know that this isn't going to be
pleasant.

But running away from your problems
isn't pretty either.

And if you don't go to school court
tomorrow morning, that's exactly what

be doing.

Then I gotta do it, huh?

Hey, you can handle it.

Okay.

But I can see it now.

I'll get everybody mad at me.

And I'll end up a lonely old man sitting
around in my new underwear.

Meet Chicago Style.

The cleaning power of Tide now meets
Dawn Stain Scrubbers. A powerful pre

-treating boost.

Unlocks and removes tough stains even
better than both the next leading

detergent and leading pre -treater
combined.

Because clean is never out of style.

New Tide with Dawn Stain Scrubbers. Your
Tide is showing.

The phone company has an important
message for its customers.

Don't listen to Vonage. Well, over 2
million people have already switched to

Vonage. Oh, really?

With Vonage, you get unlimited local and
long -distance calls for just $24 .99 a

month.

Unlimited for just $24 .99?

What are you charged?

Hey, for over 100 years, the only thing
we've changed is... Your prices?

Sign up now with Vonage and get one
month free using your high -speed

connection. Call 1 -800 -483 -0838 or go
online today.

Minimum wage job. No excuses for me.
Welcome to my home.

She taught me everything.

They help you to find a great job.
There's no better feeling. If she can do

you can do it. Pick up the phone and
start on the road to a better life. 1

-979 -0617.

Richard, girl!

No matter what.

Every woman has their beauty secret.

And mine is ballet.

Introducing new ballet concealers. The
first and only bra with revolutionary

concealing petals for complete modesty.

Feel confident and look flawless in
every moment.

It would be beautiful.

Live beautifully.

In ballet bras and panties.

For the first time, three of the
greatest movies of all time are finally

available as special edition DVDs. You
call this archaeology?

This is fun!

The Indiana Jones movies. Own them on
DVD today.

If you want my body and you think I'm
sexy, come on, sugar!

It's jumbo shrimp at Red Lobster. Come
in for one of six entrees, from classic

scampi to new jumbo shrimp topped with a
decadent lobster butter sauce, starting

at $11 .99 and soon only at Red Lobster.

My name is Tiffany. It's 12 o 'clock at
night, and it's day one of my Crest

ProHealth research.

Does it really work?

Get the right protection at night with
Crest ProHealth's toothpaste.

It's the only all -in -one toothpaste
that protects all these areas dentists

check most, even while you sleep.

Morning, everyone.

I'm sitting here straight out of bed. My
paints are cleaner, and I didn't even

brush yet. Listen, that's squeaky clean.

Protect your mouth right with Crest
ProHealth at night. Also, try Crest

ProHealth rinse.

They cut my performance in the second
verse. They never wanted you to get on

anyway.

I got $583 from CashForGold .com. All I
did was look through my drawer full of

jewelry that I never wear.

Turn your unwanted or broken jewelry,
gold, silver, platinum, rings, chains,

bracelets into cold hard cash from
CashForGold .com. I had no idea my gold

jewelry was worth so much money. With
gold, silver, and platinum at their

highest value in decades, CashForGold
.com is able to give you top dollar for

your unwanted jewelry. And because we
own our refinery, we can... Cut out the

middleman, which means more cash in your
pocket. I sent in my diamond wedding

band for my first marriage and got money
the very next day.

Just call the number below and ask for
your free, prepaid, insured refiner's

return pack. Fill the envelope with your
unwanted or broken gold, silver, and

platinum jewelry and mail it to our
processing center. A safe, reliable

transaction with satisfaction
guaranteed.

Call 1 -800 -950 -8556. Call now.

It's 1030.

Will the parties involved please rise?

Arnold?

Well, I've given this a lot of thought.

Jennifer presented a very strong case.

And Robbie, you made the guy in the
picture look good.

Thank you, sir.

Of course, it occurred to me that nobody
likes a nerd, right?

Right, right. Yeah, true.

Well, in that case, how many people in
this courtroom really like Robbie?

Well, if everyone likes Robbie, then he
certainly can't be a nerd.

So, in spite of Lisa's poor, lackluster,
ill -conceived defense...

is not a nerd and that also Jennifer
must print a front page retraction.

Court adjourned.

Yay!

I'm not a nerd!

I'm not a nerd!

Oh, yeah. Look, but don't touch.

Well, Arnold, that was a fine display of
honor and integrity.

Does that mean I can be excused from
math class this week?

No.

I hope you understand that what I did, I
thought was right.

Of course, I understand.

You did what you had to do.

Does that mean that you and I can still
have a date on a Saturday?

What are you, nuts?

Yep, me alone in my underwear.

Hey, Arnold, thanks a lot. You saved my
life. If there's anything I can do, can

ever do for you just ask well you can do
me a favor and get rid of that stupid

laugh what laugh

Different scrolls you take.

Different scrolls you take.

Different scrolls to move the world. If
it doesn't fix.

Different scrolls to move the world.

What up, man?

Hey, hey. Listen, are you doing anything
special for Dr. King's birthday at your

garage? Yeah, I'm closing it.

No, that way, you know, I'm honoring the
great man.

I ain't got to pay. time and a half.

Oh, well, good. Then you can help me
here with the brunch.

See, uh, Tim?

See, I sold a bunch of advance tickets,
right?

And, uh, Tim?

I got a children's choir we're gonna
entertain.

And I'm the choir master.

Show them your stuff, big guy. Okay.

While you're sitting inside getting
home.

Oh, yeah.

I got the tickets.

Please tell me, do you have the ladies?

The ladies are on their way, my man.

Good. I'll sell that $400 for this JoJo
and KC, Joe to see tickets, man. Wait

a minute, $400? These tickets are $25 a
piece, ain't it? Yeah, that's third row

center. You can see up KC's nostrils.

You know what I'm saying? You get good
nostril section, you're going to

guarantee yourself some action.

Is Renee's sister really fine?

Fine as a dime.

At least that's what Renee says.

Uh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up, man.

You ain't seen her?

See, when a woman says another woman's
beautiful, they talking about inner

beauty. I ain't shelling out $400 for no
inner beauty.

I just want to take this time to
apologize.

I'll make it up to you. I'll take the
ugly one. There you go.

Hi, Malcolm.

Hey, Renee. How you doing, honey?

Renee, Rosie, this is Eddie.

So, ladies, are you ready for some Casey
and JoJo?

Followed up by a little Malcolm and
Eddie.

Actually, there's been a slight change
in plans.

I'm sorry, man.

No, I understand.

See, you want to swap.

You know, I kind of liked you better all
along anyway.

Yeah, you know, we're on our way to your
show. Oh, yeah, is that right? Yeah,

yeah, we got some good seats.

Man, we look right up your nostrils,
third row.

Hey, what y 'all doing here? Just
picking up our dates.

Oh, what? Well, we got dates, too.

Maybe we can all go to the show
together, carpool in your limousine.

y 'all women at?

I think you have your arms around me,
brother.

This is the slight change in plans we're
talking about.

What?

Come on, baby. Oh, come on.

We didn't know they had plans ourselves,
man. So it's all good. Don't sweat it.

It's cool, you know.