All language subtitles for diffrent_strokes_s06e08_drafted

Now the world don't move to the beat of
just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some. A man is
born, he's a man of need.

Then along come two, they got nothing
but their genes.

But they got different strokes and
takes, different strokes and takes,

strokes to move the world.

Everybody's got a special kind of soul.

Hi,

everybody. The loved one is home.

The mailman's here, too.

Pearl, I got one for you. Good.

Oh, listen to this.

You may already have won a Rolls Royce,
a condo in Hawaii, a 40 -foot yacht, or

a turkey baster.

Does it really say that, Pearl?

Yeah, and I really need a turkey baster.

With my luck, I'll probably win the
Rolls Royce.

I don't believe this.

This is too much.

What is it, Dad?

It's a postcard for you from the
Selective Service.

For me?

Yeah. Dear Mr. Arnold Jackson, this card
is only a reminder.

Available records show your date of
birth as December 5th, 1965.

18 -year -old males must register with
Selective Service within 30 days of

18th birthday.

What is that supposed to mean?

It means they think you're 18 and they
want to draft you.

Who's talking about Woolis?

Arnold, there's no draft now.

Besides, you're a long, long way from
being 18.

Which is what makes this seem so funny.

Welcome back, joggers. How was it?
Wonderful.

Oh, terrible.

Horrible. I'm dying.

I'm going to have to find a younger
crowd. This guy can't keep up with me.

I gotta admit, Dad, you're in great
shape.

Yeah. You really spry for a guy in the
twilight of his years.

Thank you.

I'm sure the folks at the rest home will
be very proud of me.

You're a real inspiration to all of us,
Daddy.

I'll say, Mr.

Drummond. You make me feel like going
out and running ten miles.

Don't overdo it, Pearl.

You're right. I'll take a nap instead.

Hey, what's this?

More mail for Arnold from the Selective
Service System.

Huh? I think it's the same kind of thing
he got last time.

Hey, maybe they got that whole draft of
things straightened out there. Probably.

Let's see.

Dear sir, federal law requires that a
man born on or after January 1st, 1960

required to register with a selective
service within 30 days of his 18th

birthday. As a result of a computer
match of government records, you have

identified as a potential selective
service registrant.

Our registration files do not contain
your name.

Willful failure to register is
punishable by up to five years in prison

$10 ,000 fine. This is ridiculous.

Man, I'm in trouble.

Arnold, you have nothing to worry about.

Are you kidding?

If I go to the slammer for five years,
I'll get out just in time to really get

dressed.

Excuse me.

Yes?

My name's Philip Drummond.

Can I talk to you about this letter?
It's totally absurd.

Well, now that you've interrupted my
train of thought, what's so absurd?

My son received this notice to register
for the draft.

Draft? Sorry, that's not my department.

This is the Data Management Center.

I understand, but they told us
downstairs that you might be able to

As you can see, he's only 12 years old.

This is your son?

Forgive me.

I fail to see a strong family
resemblance.

Arnold is adopted.

Yeah, the stork didn't bring me. I was
delivered by a taxi.

Okay, okay, let me see the letter.

Oh, my.

Oh, this is the second notification.

You obviously disregarded the first one.
That's a no -no.

I did not disregard the first one. I
sent him an answer. Obviously, there's a

mistake in the computer.

Mistake? It's gotta be a mistake. Look
at me. I'm living proof.

I was born in 1971.

I ought to know. I spent the whole day
in the maternity ward.

Sorry, your word's not good enough.

Not good enough?

He's just a child.

Well, you would be amazed at some of the
stunts people pull to try to get out of

military service.

Now, according to regulations, you need
to show me some legal proof of your

son's age, like a birth certificate.

It's in a safety deposit box.

Mr. Drummond, even if I believed you,
this has to be handled according to

regulations. If you believe me?

I suggest you fill this out like it says
to and send it through the proper

channels. The computer will catch the
mistake sooner or later.

You can stick your computer in your ear.

I'm not going to waste any more of my
valuable time with this. And as far as

this draft notice goes, I'll kill you.

Oh, now you've done it.

Dad, you shouldn't have done that. His
scalp is starting to twitch.

You like puzzles?

Put that one together.

And you haven't heard the end of this. I
am tired of cockamamie computers and

all of your red tape.

I have some influence in this town. I'm
going to call a press conference. We're

going to fight this thing if we have to
rot in jail to win.

Rot in jail?

Yes, rot in jail. Come on, Arnold.

Please keep in mind, sir, that the
opinions expressed by the father are not

necessarily those of the son.

There's nothing more special than a bond
between mother and child. What's that?

My mom.

Ashanti, Cherish. Happy Mother's Day.
Ray J. And Y. Cleve Jean. Explain why

their bonds are so special. Don't miss
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Huh?

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This biscuit tastes homemade.

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Wow. Seriously?

Yeah.

Look at the deal we just got him.

That's a new pair of shoes.

Yeah, or a big tricked out...

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Call or click today.

Hi, welcome to progressive .com.

Honey, what's all this? Insurance.

Progressive motorcycle insurance.

RV insurance.

Uh -huh.

Boat insurance.

But we don't have any of those things.

Well, actually, I do.

We do.

We do.

Let's bag these up. Saving you money so
you can buy more toys. Now that's

progressive. Call or click today. Pearl,
have you got a second? When I called

the media, I gave them a general idea of
what this is about. But when they get

here, this is what I want to say.

Ladies and gentlemen of the press, I
would like to talk to you today about a

system which supposedly guarantees
liberty and justice for all and yet

victim of a 12 -year -old boy.

Oh, Mr.

Drummond, you have such a way with
words.

You ought to run for office.

Thank you, Pearl. But there's just too
many jerks in politics.

Oh, there's always room for one more.

I mean, you know what I mean.

I'd better.

I'll get that, Pearl.

That must be the press.

The press conference over? No, no, no,
no. Come in, come in, come in.

Nice to meet you. I'm Philip Drummond.

Is this all the food?

Pretty chintzy.

Excuse me, Mr.

Gordon. Gordon,

yeah.

What newspaper are you with?

None. I freelance.

Looks more like freeload.

That's tackless, Pearl.

Accurate, but tackless.

Listen, Mr. Gordon, if you don't mind,
I'll just wait till the rest of the

gets here before I start. They're not
going to show up.

Why not?

Because the story's not big enough.

Now, me, it doesn't make any difference.
No story's too small for me.

All right, then, I'll give you the
story.

Shoot.

Well, don't you need a pad to write on?

Oh, yeah, I have one.

I like to keep my hands free.

But don't worry.

I'll remember everything. I've got a
great memory.

Elephants never forget.

Excuse me.

Arnold?

Yes, Dad?

Would you come down here, please? Okay.
One of the reporters is here.

All right.

This is Arnold. He's the one that got
the draft notice.

Hi.

I'm his son, the draft dodger.

You look like a good draft could blow
you away.

Oh, excuse me, please.

Probably the rest of the press.

Are you Philip Drummond? That's right.
Come in, come in, come in. You're just

time. I appreciate your coming. I'd like
to offer you some refreshments we have

right over here.

No, thank you.

I'll take one. Good.

Now, who are you gentlemen with? The
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We're looking for everyone who hasn't...

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clusters, and just a touch of honey in
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I guess I'll get the milk.

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College Hill, Atlanta.

Tuesday at 10.

Dad, we must be in a lot of trouble if
the FBI is here.

Now, don't worry, Arnold. I've handled
it so far, haven't I? That's what's got

me worried.

As a matter of fact, I am rather
curious. What brings the FBI to see me?

We had a call about you, Mr. Drummond.

From Mr.

Cribs at the Federal Building.

Oh, him.

What did he tell you? That I was trying
to overthrow the government?

Hey, this is getting interesting.

Does anybody have a camera?

They have great ones in Japan. I'll send
you a postcard from Tokyo.

We're here just to give you a friendly
reminder about the consequences of not

allowing your son to register for the
draft.

All right.

I'll ask you your opinion.

Would you let him register? This is my
son.

You wouldn't want a guy like me in the
army.

This class whip beats me up.

And she's not that tough.

Well, we had no idea. There's obviously
been a mistake.

We're sorry to have bothered you, Mr.
Drummond. Well, that's all right.

Would you like your donut back?

Thank you.

How about you?

No, thanks. I'm driving.

Hope you catch all those guys on the
post office walls.

And I hope I'm not one of them.

Good evening, gentlemen.

Good evening.

Well, I'll be going, too.

Unless you're sure you're not holding
out on me. No, that's the whole story.

I meant food.

I'll see you.

Dad, why don't we just go along with the
system and sign me up?

Arnold, we are going to win without
compromising our principles. As one

American once said, I have not yet begun
to fight. Do you know who said that?

I hope it wasn't General Custer.

91, 92, 93, 94, 95.

96, 97, 98, 99, 100.

Oh, man.

Really makes you feel good, Arnold.

Dig it.

Willis the Barbarian.

Eat your heart out, Arnold
Schwarzenegger.

Oh,

come on, Arnold, man. Cheer up. I know
this whole thing's got you upset, but

it'll work out.

And it's easy for you to say.

Come on, now put the army out of your
mind and get some sleep.

Okay. I'll close my eyes and try
counting jeeps.

You've been watching too many war
pictures.

Mr.

Cribs. Corporal Cribs to you. On your
feet, private.

Wait a minute.

This has got to be a big mistake.

The army doesn't make mistakes. That's
why we have a navy.

But I'm not supposed to be here.

I'm a civilian.

Not anymore, you're not. Here's your
helmet, soldier.

None of these things fit.

And hut!

Morning, corporal.

Who's under the helmet?

A new recruit, Private Jackson, ready
for drill instruction.

I'll take over from here. Yes, sir!

Off with the helmet, Jackson.

Yes, sir.

Oh, Willis!

It's so good to see a familiar face.

That's Sergeant Willis to you, soldier.

Willis, this is me, your brother Arnold.

I was right there when you bought your
first tube of gliracil.

Now, don't you go getting personal with
me, turkey.

I hate that they can give me 10.

Talking push -ups, sucker.

Now hit the deck. Hitting the deck, sir.

Would you take one and I owe you?

Do you call yourself a soldier?

On your feet, soldier. Come on, get up.
Up, up, up.

Look in the mirror and tell me what you
see.

Two soldiers?

Wrong.

One... soldier and one spineless,
sniveling, pathetic excuse for a human

Sergeant, don't be so hard on yourself.

I was talking about you, pea brain.

Thank you, sir.

Can I go home now? You're not going
anywhere, worm.

It's time for rifle drill.

overwhelming odds.

All volunteers take one step

Excuse me, General.

Yes? War is being served.

Thank you, Wack.

How is the morale of the men?

I'm doing everything I can to keep it
up.

Very good, Wack.

Carry on.

Yes, sir.

As long as I have my strength.

But war is...

you're going to face hopeless odds
without one quiver of fear.

But, General, sir, I'm only 12. I'm too
young to die.

Don't be silly. That's just the right
age.

Have you had your shots?

Shots? Yes. I like all my men to die in
good health.

Make mistakes, soldier. It's this one,
the regulation.

Nurse, this recruit needs his shots.

Oh, good.

This is the part I like.

Wait a minute.

Uh, where do you think you're gonna
stick that?

You're having a bad dream.

Oh, well, you don't know how bad.

What's happening, Arnold? Are you all
right?

What's going on in here?

Arnold was having a nightmare.

Oh, Dad, it was awful.

I was in the army, and there was this
big war, and you were coming on like

General Patton, and you were going to
send me off to get killed.

Oh, Arnold, it was only a dream.

But it was so real.

Dad, I don't want you to give up your
principles, but I'm scared.

Can't we just surrender?

I'm sorry, son.

I didn't know that all of this was
affecting you so deeply.

I guess I was so wrapped up in the
battle, I forgot to pay attention to the

troops.

Why don't we go back and see Mr.

Cribs and see where we can get the
papers that we have to fill out.

Thank you, Dad.

You saved my life.

That's okay, soldier.

And then afterwards, maybe we'll go down
to the US Hill and celebrate.

Pick up a couple of dames.

Mr. Drummond, I was going to phone you
just as soon as I finished this

puzzle.

So good to see you and your delightful
little boy.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

He must have had a personality
transplant.

There's no need to try to sack us out,
Mr. Cribs. We surrender.

I have here Arnold's birth certificate,
his adoption papers, and if you'll just

tell us where to get the proper forms,
we'll sign them.

If it'll help, we'll even whistle Yankee
Doodle Dandy.

No, that won't be necessary. I have some
good news for you.

I'm going to be stationed at Disneyland?

No, I mean you're off the hook.

You were so persistent, Mr. Drummond,
that I decided to check it out with

Washington.

Indeed, there was another Arnold Jackson
right here in Manhattan, so I decided

to chase him down with my wonderful
little computer.

I can't believe it. I can assure you,
you can put to complete trust in the

of computer science.

Excuse me.

I was told I could find Mr. Cribs here.

Yes, I'm Mr.

Cribs.

You said you wanted to see me about
registering for the draft.

My name's Arnold Jackson.

Now the world don't move to the beat of
just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right.

Nothing but the cheese that they got.

Different strokes of cake.

Different strokes of cake.

Different strokes to do the work if it
doesn't take.

Different strokes.

Clearly the channel's just changed. I
ain't even touching it.

Let me see.

Dang, I say, we got a poltergeist up in
here.

Yeah, it's a poltergeist with bad taste.

Go hunt someplace else. We don't do
chick flicks.

Malcolm,

I think you installed my new TV wrong.
It's all messed up.

Well, what's there to mess up? All I did
was carry it upstairs and plug it in.

Well, something's wrong with it.

I've been trying to watch the always
classic Give Me Back My Kidney.

TV keeps flipping to some boring karate
movie.

Oh, that's because you got to break a
new TV in slow.

Yeah, yeah, that's right. If you don't,
the TV heats up too fast and the

capacitors jam. Right. And, you know,
diode refluxes just overload, man. It

makes the channels jump all over the
place.

Oh, darn. That must be what's wrong with
it.

What am I supposed to do?

Just turn it off for a couple of hours
and let it rest.

Hopefully the damage isn't permanent.

Gotcha. Yeah. Thanks, guys. Okay, no
problem.

Capacitors jammed. High -old refluxes
jammed.

What you did inside your home?

appreciate your help this is kind of a
sensitive subject yeah we won't be

accused of harassing anybody yeah well
don't worry i'll talk to everyone you

came to the right person i am the soul
of discretion