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Now the world don't move to the beat of
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What might be right for you?

May not be right for some. One man is
born. He's a man of means.

Then along come two.

They got nothing but the genes. But they
got different strokes to take.

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And if elected class president, I
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no more jokes about needing barf bags.

Arnold, that's a little graphic, Arnold,
but I'm sure very effective.

Yeah, that's a great speech, little
brother.

Thanks. Yeah, but why aren't you running
instead of Dudley?

Well, when we were back in grammar
school, I was class president and Dudley

nothing. Zip. Zero.

I'm talking wimp city.

So now that we're in junior high, I
decided to let Dudley have some

You're all hard, Arnold.

Of course there's something in it for
me, too.

I'm going to be the man behind the man.
The real power in politics.

I'm going to be pulling the strings.

Oh, sort of like a political
ventriloquist.

Right. And I couldn't have picked a
better dummy than Dudley.

Hi, kids.

Hey, Dad.

Sorry I wasn't able to get here in time
for dinner. I had a late meeting.

Pearl!

Oh, hi, Mr. Drummond.

Did I get any phone calls?

No, not a thing.

Darn it.

I'd hoped they would have called by now.

Can I fix you some dinner? No, I had a
bite. Just some coffee, please. Coming

right up.

Sounds like you got a big deal going,
Dad.

As a matter of fact, yes, I do. I am
just about to be appointed the new

president of the City Arts Council.

Okay. And even as we speak, I am waiting
to be notified.

All right. Great, Patty.

Hey, Dad.

We didn't know you were running for
president. Well, I haven't been running

hard. That's because of a guy named Bill
Wolf.

Who's Bill Wolf?

He's a friend of mine. See, he's going
for it, too.

So I just quietly let it be known that I
was available for the position. I

didn't want to campaign openly and put
Bill's nose out of joint. It's nice to

see someone else in this family with a
little class.

Thanks, Arnold.

I never thought you'd notice.

Maybe they've been trying to call me and
found the line busy.

Excuse me, I'm going to make a call.

Hey, how about you guys helping me out
with Dudley's campaign?

You know, making posters and stuff. The
last few days are the most important.

What do you say?

No.

May I remind you that political apathy
is the enemy of freedom?

May I remind you that a pushy little
brother is liable to get pushed off the

balcony?

Do it for Dudley. He's like another
brother.

Only not as good looking as Willis.

I'm proud of you too, Kimberly, but
you're too intelligent to fall for it.

No, I'm not. I'll help too.

Great.

Hey, Sid.

Hi. Phil Drummond here.

Hey.

How's the newlywed?

Oh, well, better luck next time.

Listen, I just got home and I thought
you'd probably been trying to call me,

our housekeeper's getting on and she
doesn't always hear the phone.

Now, listen about the Arts Council.

What's that?

Bill Wolf got it.

Well, of course I wanted it. That's why
I didn't say anything.

No, I guess I understand.

No, I'm not angry.

Bill's a terrific guy.

Goodbye, Ted.

That backstabbing Bill Wolf.

He did me out of the presidency.

But, Dad, I don't understand.

I mean, I thought that backstabbing Bill
Wolf was your friend. He was. He is. I

guess I'm just mad at myself.

At least he was smart enough to campaign
openly, and I was dumb enough not to.

That just shows you, if you really want
something, go for it. Even against a

friend? Why not? I play tennis with
friends, and I'm not afraid of winning.

The way you play tennis, you don't have
to be.

Thanks. I needed that.

Well, better luck next year, Dad. If you
guys will excuse me, I've got homework

to do. Yeah, me too. You're always a
winner in our book, Daddy.

Thanks, you too.

Excuse me, Dad. I've got to go to work
on this speech for Dudley.

It's kind of hard making people believe
he was born in a log cabin.

You sure I can't fix you some dinner,
Mr. Drummond? No, no, no, thanks, Pearl.

That was a very interesting speech you
just gave the kids. You know, about

for something you want and how your
friends will understand.

That's right, and I meant every word of
it. Good. Do you think our friendship

could stand a raise?

You know, Pearl, I've never really felt
that close to you.

Just kidding.

Of course you can ask for a raise.

Thanks. How about it? No way.

Mr. Drummond, I've been here over a
year, and I've never had a raise.

My goodness, Pearl, has it really been
that long?

Well, then, of course you deserve a
raise.

I'll take care of it.

Thank you, Mr. Drummond.

Oh, Mr. Drummond, while we're on the
subject, how about an extra half day

You mean on top of the raise?

Well, I'd like to spend a little more
time with Mother now that she's getting

older.

Oh, sure, that's reasonable.

Take it on Thursdays, Pearl. Oh, that is
so considerate of you.

Uh, Mr. Drummond?

Let me guess.

You want a pension plan.

I hadn't thought of that.

But what I was thinking is, you know
that old black and white TV set in my

Willie? It's really had it.

Would you like a table model or a large
screen?

Oh, just a little color table model will
do nicely. 21 inch. Sure.

Remote control.

Sure.

Are we through?

Of course.

Thank you. My pleasure.

Well, would you like to pick my pockets?

I just wanted to say you're a most
generous man, and that must make you

very good.

Oh, yes, it does.

I can't tell you how my heart is humming
at this moment.

Vote for Dudley.

Hey, don't forget the big election on
Friday.

Dudley's your man.

Hi, there.

I'm sure you two lovely ladies will be
voting for yours truly on Friday, right?

Of course, Dudley.

You're the cutest candidate.

What can I say?

Dudley. Dudley, man, where have you
been? I've been looking all over for

You were supposed to go for your big
speech for the rally.

I'm too busy glad -handing the brother
with that dumb speech, Arnold.

What?

That's the best speech I ever wrote. I
got an inspiration in the middle of the

night. I had to write it by the light of
the refrigerator.

Arnold, I don't need speeches.

Norman Tormund. I've got a great sense
of humor and a winning smile.

So does a laughing hyena.

Don't forget to vote for Dudley.

Dudley, you can't just go around
slapping people on the back and ignoring

issues. Why not?

I'm trying to be like a real politician.

Don't tell me how to run for office.

Dudley, as far as I'm concerned, you're
just another pretty face.

I made you and I can break you.

Hi, Arnold. Hi, Dudley. Oh, hi, Norman.
How's your campaign going?

I'll be honest with you, Arnold.

It stinks.

But what does it matter as long as the
best man wins?

Interesting strategy.

Dazzling with boredom.

Thanks. I'll try that.

I've got this election sewed up without
any issues.

Don't be so sure, Dudley. I think the
kids in this school have more brains

just to go for a lot of glad -handing
and a big smile.

Don't forget my empty promises.

Dudley, you're not listening to me. I'm
trying to tell you that you're not a

sure thing.

Norman the Nerd could beat you.

Oh, come on.

If he had any less personality, he'd be
a corpse.

and you're the hare brain.

You know, Arnold, you're beginning to
bug me, and I think you're slowing down

landslide.

Oh!

Is that so?

Well, I'll just get out of your way,
mighty mouse.

I quit as your campaign manager.

Quit? You heard me.

I got other plans.

So I know.

You're going over to run Norman the
Nerd's campaign, huh?

No, I'm going to run my own campaign.

I'm going to run against you myself.

Run that by me again?

You heard me.

The only competition that'll be left in
this election is going to be between you

and Norman for last place.

Arnold Jackson is back for his last
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Wait a minute, Arnold.

You mean you'd really run against me?

Why not?

My dad says if you really want
something, you should go for it.

Man, what a dirty, low -down thing to
do.

Dudley, what's wrong with a little
competition between friends?

Do you understand what I'm saying to
you?

Yeah, you're trying to stick it to me.

And to think that all this time I felt
guilty about that thing with Doreen.

What thing with Doreen?

Well, remember how much you liked her
and how disappointed you were when she

passed me her phone number?

Yeah, what about it?

Well, that number was supposed to be for
you.

But I just kind of accidentally stuck it
in my pocket and kind of accidentally

called her up myself.

I ought to kind of accidentally punch
you in your nose.

You stole my woman.

Doreen didn't seem to mind.

Well, let me lay a little news on you.

Remember when you lost that soapbox
derby because the wheels came off your

and they crossed the finish line before
you did?

I always wondered how that happened.

You can stop wondering.

Why, you dirty, low -down bum. You made
me lose that race.

I didn't hold.

I felt just terrible about it.

Until I won.

Well, I'll tell you one thing you're not
going to win. The election.

Because I'm going to beat the pants off
you.

You'll be the one standing there in your
throat of the loons.

Well, how about this to put in a fortune
cookie?

Vote for Dudley because he's cuddly.

Hey, gang.

How's everything at election
headquarters?

Oh, not bad.

Hey, what do you got there?

Oh, just the rest of the flyers I had
printed up for Dudley. And I think,

that he's going to like this.

to cinch the campaign for Dudley. That's
really going to make Arnold happy.

Excuse me, I've got about six dozen more
fortune cookies in the oven.

Your worker bees are going full blast,
Arnold.

Now, what do you think of this?

I'll show you what I think of it.

Hey!

Arnold, what are you doing, man? You
ruined the poster.

That's the whole idea.

I wish it was Dudley in person.

Okay, Arnold.

Okay.

Now, what is the problem?

The problem is that ungrateful creep.

I resigned as his campaign manager.

Now, Arnold, why would you do that just
two days before the election?

Because he didn't like the way I was
running his campaign, and I didn't like

way he was running his mouth.

Well, what did he do?

Everything but what I was telling him to
do. I'm surprised he didn't go out and

rinse some babies to kiss.

That's no reason for you to deface the
poster.

Sure it is, because now I'm going to do
what I wanted to do in the first place,

run against him myself.

Yeah, well, aren't you getting in this
kind of late? There's only two days

Yeah, and that's what I want to talk to
Dad about.

Alone, please, as in get lost.

Oh, we better get out of here. Well,
this is all top secret political stuff.

Yeah, we'll leave Dad alone with deep
dope.

What's this that's so confidential?

Dad, I'm going to need something more
than just fortune cookies to win this

election. How about making a campaign
contribution?

Sure, what do you have in mind?

Something along the lines of the new
Arnold Jackson wing of the gymnasium.

Are you asking me to buy this election
for you?

No, I'm begging you.

Arnold, I can't possibly do that.

I'll get it.

Hi, Mr. Drummond.

Hi, Dudley. Come on in. Thanks.

What do you want, glad gums?

I'm here to get my stuff, Benedict
Arnold.

Hey, what happened to my poster?

Just a little touch -up to make it look
like the real you.

I'll get my stuff out of here. I'll just
take these with me.

You can't have these.

The only way you're going to get these
cookies is up your nose.

That's enough.

That's enough.

Here you are, Dudley. Dad, what are you
doing?

We're still going to help Dudley with
his campaign.

What are you talking about, Dad?

Now, we promised to help him, and we are
not going to go back on our promise.

That wouldn't be fair.

Politics? What about me?

Don't worry, Arnold. We'll work for both
of you.

Thanks, Mr. Drummond. I really
appreciate it. Sure, Dudley.

How do you like that?

Shafted by my own family.

These are the times that try men's
souls.

I'm not asking you to vote for me
because of my boyish good looks.

I'm asking you to vote for me because
I'm willing to face the issues.

Face the issues like a certain unworthy
opponent of mine who shall be nameless.

Now, wait a minute.

You're laughing in the wrong place.

Oh,

hi there.

What do you think you're doing?

Oh, uh, just trying to clean up your
poster.

Apparently some unknown juvenile
delinquent came by and defaced it.

I ought to deface you.

That's a dirty trick.

I thought we were keeping this a clean
fight.

I'm only doing it because you did it to
my poster. That's different. I had a

very good reason for doing it to yours.

Like what?

Like I didn't want you to win.

In fact, he doesn't deserve to win
because he doesn't stand for any issue.

That's not true.

I'll stand for any issue that would get
me elected.

All right, wise guy. Name one issue you
stand for.

Well, um... How about not having to go
to school on your birthday?

Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea.

That's a terrible idea.

My birthday's during summer vacation.

Anyway,

I think the issue should be something
important.

Like petitioning for new lockers in the
jail.

What's wrong with the old one?

Plenty. They're rusted and falling
apart, and not to mention the smell from

years of sweaty socks.

How do you feel about the issues,
Norman?

Both ideas sound awfully good, don't
they?

Norman.

Norman!

You have to be more decisive.

Well, in that case, I think I'll vote
for Dudley.

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Hi, everybody.

Hey, is there any news from the school
election?

Oh, not yet, but Arnold's due home any
minute.

Well, I don't know about Arnold, but I
couldn't sleep a wink last night.

Too excited about the election?

Those cookies gave me nightmares.

I dreamt that somebody cracked me open
and pulled a fortune out of my navel.

Hello. Uh -oh.

Judging by the look on your face,
Arnold, I'd say that Dudley beat you.

No, I beat Dudley.

All right, Arnold, way to go. Well,
that's great. What's the matter?

Norman Corman beat both of us.

Norman, how did that happen?

I got the intellectual vote.

Dudley got the bimbo vote.

And Norman got the confused vote.

Which is the other 95%.

Welcome to politics in America.

Well, don't worry, Arnold. There'll be
other elections.

Yeah, but if I ever run again, it won't
be against a friend.

In spite of what you said, Dad, I ended
up losing the election and my best

friend.

I'll get it.

Is Arnold here? Yeah, he's here. Come on
in, Dudley.

Look, I know you weren't really trying
to stick it to me.

I'm sorry about this portrait.

Me too.

About yours.

I wasn't even invited to Norman Corman's
victory party after school.

You're lucky I was.

I was the only one that showed up.

Poor Norman.

Poor Norman nothing. He was pleased with
the turnout.

Ed, you were right. Real friends can
compete.

I'm proud of both of you. I didn't get
what I wanted either. But at least you

guys gave it your best shot.

Well, I'm never treated to a happy bunch
of losers.

Wait a minute. I'm no loser. I got a
raise, an extra half a day off, and a

TV.

You don't have to flaunt it.

I love flaunting it.

Well,

Dudley, old boy, I'm glad we're friends
again.

And no more dirty tricks.

Right. No more dirty tricks. Here.

Have one of my fortune cookies.

Go ahead. Take one.

Now, now.

Let's see which one of my witty campaign
slogans we have here.

Don't be a stick in the mud, Lee. Vote
for your best guy, Dudley.

That's strange.

How'd that get in my cookie?

What did you say?

What's the difference? We can open it
later.

Give me that.

Let's see here.

May the force be with Dudley.

Wait a minute.

I was passing out fortune cookies that
said vote for you.

Must have been that unknown juvenile
delinquent again.

Sure, that's probably who.

And since that unknown juvenile
delinquent likes cookies so much, He can

this whole box.