All language subtitles for diffrent_strokes_s06e01_rashomon_ii

Yeah, you play all day. A lot of y 'all
want a ball and try to walk it for me. Y

'all want that shot in time, but that's
all mine. I'm bona fide qualified to

have a hot damn time. Now listen, get
the picture, and take a picture of me

quick. Because tomorrow I got a new city
that I'm gonna hit. A double whammy,

right before I do the Grammy. I do it to
a pup daddy way out in South Miami.

I'm only in town for a night.

And when I'm in the crowd getting high.
And everybody loves me. The browns to

the white.

You live like a movie, but I'm moving
my. Life and I'm the life of the party.

Every time I show up. I'm the life of
the party. Every time I blow up.

I'm the life of the party. Every time I
show up. I'm the life of the party.

Every time I blow up.

Give me one second. I'll post for your
picture.

Like cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese,
cheese.

Now everybody just breathe, breathe,
breathe, breathe.

Now DJ, bring the music, please.

Count them, man.

It's about 12, 13, 14 back.

It's me, two of my homies, drinking.

I see all the ballers in the house.
What's up, man?

They doing it big over there, too.

But you know what I mean?

If I wasn't here, it wouldn't be the
same.

Because I'm the life of the party, baby.

I hope you feel the same way about
yourself.

All right, ladies and gentlemen, this is
all from me today.

Thank you so much at home for watching.

Charlie Murphy, thank you very much for
rocking with me. Thanks for rocking with

me. Thanks, boo.

Always a pleasure.

We know it.

Guys, make sure you keep your TV's black
to be pink.

Peace and blessings to you all. I'm out.

Different strokes to take. Different
strokes to take.

Different strokes to move the world.

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

It don't matter that you got my life.

So what? I'll have theirs and you'll
have yours and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine with the
stakes.

Different strokes to move the world.
Yes, it does. It takes different strokes

move the world.

There's nobody home, this is the
answering service, so just leave a

Of course I'm writing it down.

I don't care what you guys say, I love
the movie.

Yeah, the longer those monsters are, the
better I like them. No way, not me.

That is the last time I go to a horror
movie with you guys. All those weird

-looking creatures that grunting and
groaning and frothing at the mouth.

It's always that way at the popcorn
stand.

Hey, Arnold, how would you like
something ice -cold to drink?

Yeah, sounds good to me.

Yeah, me too. Put a couple ice cubes in
mine.

Anything else for you?

Oh, come on, Arnold. I'll give you a
hand, then I'm going to hit the sack.

No one does like you. I don't care where
you started up at, because I'm going to

finish it wherever. She picked the wrong
time to mess with Drew. That dude was

walking around the house like he was
straight up crazy.

He's getting violent.

Don't trust him at this point.

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What was that?

I don't know. It sounded like it came
from the dead.

Maybe we just imagined it.

We

just

imagined it again.

Do you think it's a burglar?

I don't know. What are we talking about?

It's probably just Pearl.

Yeah, right. Yeah.

She's probably just doing some late
night dusting. Yeah.

I'll call her.

Pearl.

What's going on?

I heard noises in the den.

I think it's a burglar.

Oh, I doubt that.

Why? Because if I thought there was a
burglar in this house, I wouldn't be

standing here like this.

I'd be on the floor in a dead faint.

Maybe it's just a wind.

Dad probably forgot to close the window.

That's only one thing to do.

Go into the den and check it out. Right.
Thanks for volunteering.

Okay, I'll go check it out.

I'm sure it's just the wind. Probably
nothing.

You know, I'm cool. I'll check it out.

I don't hear a thing.

One move and you're dead. That I heard.

All right, get over there with the rest
of them. That's it. Hurry up. Go on, go

on. Get over there. All right.

That's better.

Now, we don't want any trouble here, do
we?

We don't want no trouble here.
Absolutely not. Shut up.

I was just going to suggest that.

So, we're all going to stay nice and
quiet while I get out of here, right?

And you're not going to use the phone,
right?

All right.

Just to make sure you don't, I'm going
to rip out the cord.

It must have been kind of scary.

Hello.

Get over there with the rest of them,
Pops. Go on, hurry up. Get going.

Daddy, we're all right. Take anything
you want, but don't hurt the children.

Or the grown -ups.

All right, let's have your watch and
wallet.

And listen, would you please leave the
baby pictures of the kids?

Now, where do you keep the real valuable
stuff?

In the safe deposit box in the bank.

We don't have a safe in the house.

Come on, don't jive me. A rich family
like you always has a safe.

It's got to be behind, like, one of
those paintings.

You're not even close.

Come here, kid.

Come here.

Now,

tell me where the safe is.

Well, I...

We wouldn't know.

Dad always blindfolds us before he opens
it.

Come on, let's make it fast before
somebody gets hurt, all right? All

right. All right, it's over there.

The back of that painting on the wall
there. All right, all right.

Hey, look.

Oh, this is beautiful.

Real beautiful.

Okay, come on.

Open it up. Okay. Quick.

That's it.

All right, now.

Everybody just relax.

Just think of me as a guest in your
house.

Good idea.

I'll go turn down your bed.

Don't move.

Don't move.

I'm really starting to lose my whole
patience with a whole lot of...

Are

you wearing an acrylic...

Tell yourself hyperventilating.

You have to breathe in your own carbon
dioxide.

All right.

All right. Go on. Make it fast.

But don't try anything funny in there or
your father gets it.

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Earl,

he shot Daddy! No, wait!

Daddy! Are you alright?

I'm fine, honey, I'm fine.

What happened in here? We heard a
gunshot.

It accidentally went off. Got him right
in the head.

Oh, no.

Not him.

The statue.

Oh, the burglar's just out cold.

I'd better call the police.

Yeah, okay.

Can I ask you what's that number? Yeah.

Hello.

Uh, yeah, listen. We just captured a
burglar here. Could you send someone

right away, please?

No, he's out cold.

No, I'm not a crank.

My name is Philip Drummond.

I live at 697 Park Avenue, Penthouse A.

Yeah. How is he?

He's coming to.

Oh.

Now, the police are on their way, but I
will use this thing if I have to.

Make one move and I'll bite your ear
off.

Hey, why can't we talk this over,
mister?

I mean, you don't have to press charges.

Why don't we just let bygones be
bygones?

What?

After you broke into our home, held us
at gunpoint, and threatened our lives?

Come on, give me a break.

I mean, my old man died when I was a
kid. My mother's worked her fingers to

bone. Now she's in the hospital hooked
up to all these tubes.

I mean, it'd break her heart if I went
to jail.

Oh, poor guy.

I don't buy that story for one minute.

Did I mention the tubes that she's
hooked? That routine

usually works.

Routine?

Why, you're nothing but a sleazebag.

Book him.

This is the thanks I get for trying to
keep off welfare.

Okay. You want to tell me exactly what
happened here? Yes.

One at a time.

Officer, I think I can clear this up for
you.

The burglar must have slipped into the
apartment while the kids were out at the

movies and I was out on a date.

Well, actually, I was at her apartment.

But that's another story.

When I walked in, he was holding the
kids at gunpoint.

He ordered me to open the safe.

Now, I saw that it was a hard situation.

But I kept my cool.

so that I could formulate a plan.

Kimberly had taken Pearl into the
kitchen because she was ill.

My two sons were trying to compose
themselves, but they were pretty scared.

I was waiting for the burglar to let his
guard down, if only for a second.

But he kept watching me like a hawk.

He knew I wasn't afraid of him.

I opened the safe and handed the burglar
some jewelry, and he told me to take

out the rest of the stuff.

This was my chance.

I deliberately tossed my wristwatch at
him. He was so surprised he dropped his

gun. I pulled an old army trick. The gun
went off.

The boys moved in to help, but it was
already over.

And I put him away with a roundhouse
right.

That sucker never knew what hit him.

And that's exactly the way it all
happened, officer. Actually, we were

any real danger at any time.

Dad, I don't mean to disagree with you,
but about the only thing he got right

was that Pearl and Kimberly were in the
kitchen.

Now, this is the way it happened.

Dad was fumbling around at the safe.

He was really scared, and so was Arnold.

Me?

I was cool as a cucumber.

You see, out in the street.

And I know how to handle clowns like
that.

I was figuring out my choices.

I could heave a chair at him.

I could crush him with a flying body
block.

Then it came to me in a flash.

I'd get Arnold to distract him while I
attacked him on the other side.

I tried to tell Arnold my plan, but he
was too petrified to hear me. It was

talking to a salami.

So I realized it was all up to me.

I don't know how Dad got the safe open.
He was shaking so bad.

But anyway, the burglar had his eye on
Dad.

And then luckily, Dad dropped his
wristwatch.

And the burglar grabbed for it. Dad
tried to kick him and missed. And that's

when the gun went off.

Then Dad tried to punch him.

And missed by a mile.

That's when I decided to move in.

I spun that brother across the room and
Arnold tried the karate, but all he was

chopping was the air. So I decided to
put that turkey away.

It was a dirty job, but somebody had to
do it.

And that's exactly the way it happened.
You see, officer, I'm not a violent man.

But when it comes to saving my family, I
don't hold back.

Well, I think you're ready for the
Pinocchio Hall of Fame.

Well, look, that's close enough I gotta
be going. I've already missed half of

Hill Street Blues.

Wait a minute, officer.

I can tell you what really happened.

Don't tell me.

Pearl and Kimberly are still in the
kitchen, right?

Right. But the rest of it went like
this.

Dad was at the sink shaking like a leaf,
and Willis was sitting there with

frozen eyeballs.

And me, I was cool as a bear in a pool.

I tried to snap Willis out of it, but
his knees were knocking so loud, I could

hardly hear myself think.

He looked like a water ceiling putty.

So I decided to handle it myself.

I may be on the small side, but I walk
on the wild side.

Dad finally got the safe open, and
that's when I decided to make my move.

Willis tried to stop me, but it was like
trying to stop a raging bull with a red

flag.

That's when Dad pulled his wristwatch
out of the safe, and he dropped it

his hand was shaking so bad.

Dad tried to kick the burglar, and the
gun went off. Then he tried to hit him,

and missed.

Willis pulled himself together and took
a swing at him, but he missed too.

That's when I moved in with my fist to
death.

I was out of control.

It was kind of like a tribute to Bruce
Lee. That burglar was no match.

flipped him to the floor, and he was out
for it.

And all that was left was to stuff and
mount him and hang him on the fireplace.

And that's the way it happened.

Doctor, I'm afraid that my children are
confusing you.

Oh, no. Whatever gave you that idea?

Excuse me, but maybe I can shed some
light on the situation. I know I was in

kitchen, but my hearing is still very
acute.

Oh, just what we need, an ear witness.

I distinctly heard fighting going on in
the living room, and I definitely knew

it was Daddy punching him out.

But then again, it could have been
Willis.

Now that I think about it, maybe it was
Arnold doing his karate.

Thanks for clearing things up.

Anytime, officer.

Well, officer, it's only natural for
children to become confused under a

stressful situation like this, but
they're learning.

Yeah, it doesn't matter. This happens
all the time. We get witnesses who say

they saw a tall guy, a short guy, a
white guy, a black guy, and it's all the

same guy.

Well, this guy was definitely white and
short.

Oh, he was tall.

No, he was short. Hold on,

hold on, hold on.

You all agree that this guy broke into
your home and tried to rob you. That's

all we need to put him away.

Good night, Mr. Drummond. We'll be in
touch. All right. Thank you very much.

Well,

it just goes to show you, your mind can
really play tricks on you when it's

under pressure like that.

It sure can.

And not mine, of course.

Well, it's been a long day, but at least
we bagged a crook.

What do you say we all turn in? Huh,
crime fighters?

Good night, boys. Good night. Bye, Dad.

You okay, Pearl?

I'm fine. I think I'll just straighten
up a little down here. Good night. Good

night, Dad.

Well, you still look a little wobbly to
me, Pearl, so I think I'll stay up with

you and help you out. Oh, thank you,
Kimberly.

I mean, I guess we'll never know what
really happened tonight.

Oh, yes, we will.

I know the real story.

You do? How is that possible?

Well, remember when we went into the
kitchen and you were looking for a paper

bag? Yeah. I peeked through the kitchen
door.

You saw everything that happened?

Everything. Well, why didn't you say
something before?

I didn't want to embarrass Mr. Drummond
and the boys in front of the policeman.

Well, you can tell me.

Good, I'm dying to tell someone.

Well, there we were in the kitchen, and
you were looking for a paper bag.

Well, you had your back to me, so you
didn't know that I slipped over to the

door and peeked out.

I could see Mr. Drummond at the safe. He
was really scared.

The burglar had his gun on him.

Both the boys were petrified too.

As for the burglar, he may have had a
gun, but he was even more scared than

were.

Your father finally got the safe open
and handed the burglar a jewelry box

wrapped in a cloth.

Remember when that burglar told us he
was allergic to acrylics?

That must have been what the cloth on
the jewelry box was made of. And then

everything happened at once. Your father
dropped the watch. The burglar tried to

pick it up. Your father tried to kick it
out of the way. The gun went off. The

burglar had a terrific sneezing attack
and couldn't stop.

And Willis and Arnold tried to get in
the act, but they only got in each

way.

Then the burglar went staggering across
the room and he sneezed again and hit

his head on the chair and knocked
himself silly.

And that's really the way it happened.
That's incredible.

I'm afraid the only hero was this little
piece of acrylic.

Did you hear that sneeze?

The burglar's back.

He must have gotten away.

Okay.

Collect ourselves.

Come on.

in the kitchen anyway.

I was making the sandwich. I was hungry.
I came down the back stairs.

Gosh, we heard you sneezing. We thought
the burglar came back.

Oh, no. The reason I was sneezing is
because I put too much pepper on his

sandwich.

You scared us half to death.

Well, you guys relax.

There's nothing to fear when Captain
Karate is here.

Different scrolls and things.