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1
00:00:00,759 --> 00:00:03,880
It wouldn't be right to throw a big
party while the economy is in such a
2
00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:06,000
recession. Thank you, Elliot Janeway.
3
00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:08,400
Bye. Bye.
4
00:00:09,020 --> 00:00:13,300
You know, when Arnold starts to worry
about the economy, I start to worry
5
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:16,820
Arnold. I have a feeling there's
something that he is not telling us.
6
00:00:16,820 --> 00:00:18,320
would he turn on a birthday party?
7
00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,240
You're not having a birthday party?
8
00:00:23,660 --> 00:00:25,440
Arnold, you just ruin my appetite.
9
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:30,800
In that case, I'll finish your lunch. I
just got my appetite back.
10
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:36,240
Well, I'm sorry, Dudley, but there isn't
going to be a birthday party.
11
00:00:37,060 --> 00:00:39,860
Man, there's sure going to be a lot of
disappointed kids, Arnold.
12
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:44,100
Your birthday party's a social event of
the year, next to some of Cockroach
13
00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:45,100
Race's at school.
14
00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:49,560
I have my reasons for not having a
party, Dudley.
15
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:50,800
Like what?
16
00:00:51,780 --> 00:00:54,860
Well, I can't tell you. It's very
personal.
17
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,500
Look. I'll make a trade with you.
18
00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:01,460
If I tell you something real personal
about me, then can you tell me?
19
00:01:02,380 --> 00:01:03,380
I guess so.
20
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,000
Okay.
21
00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:12,280
Don't ever mention this, but one night
last week, I dreamed I was a baby.
22
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:21,100
I was lying in my crib, sucking on a
pacifier.
23
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:26,140
When I woke up, I discovered I wet my
bed.
24
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:33,060
That's not personal enough.
25
00:01:35,380 --> 00:01:36,880
Not personal enough?
26
00:01:37,380 --> 00:01:38,960
Even my mother doesn't know.
27
00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:42,920
I was washing sheets at 2 o 'clock in
the morning.
28
00:01:46,020 --> 00:01:49,300
Some friend you are, Arnold. Get
yourself another death penalty.
29
00:01:49,580 --> 00:01:53,060
Don't wait, Dudley. I'll tell you. I
don't want to hear it. It's too late.
30
00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:59,410
Okay. Why don't you want to give a
party?
31
00:02:00,810 --> 00:02:02,410
Well, look at me.
32
00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:03,670
Okay.
33
00:02:05,610 --> 00:02:06,610
What do you see?
34
00:02:07,350 --> 00:02:08,350
I see you.
35
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:10,990
Now, what about me?
36
00:02:12,790 --> 00:02:13,870
You got a new pimple?
37
00:02:15,470 --> 00:02:17,210
I mean, besides that.
38
00:02:17,430 --> 00:02:19,870
Look at all of me. Not just my face.
39
00:02:21,170 --> 00:02:22,170
What do you see?
40
00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:37,760
I wet the bed and you tell me you're
short?
41
00:02:38,580 --> 00:02:40,080
Arnold, everybody knows that.
42
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,620
Yeah, especially girls.
43
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:46,720
That's the problem.
44
00:02:47,340 --> 00:02:50,160
You mean you're not going to have
another birthday party to your tall?
45
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,240
Nope. Girls don't go for me.
46
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,660
Are you kidding?
47
00:02:55,020 --> 00:02:56,220
You're very popular.
48
00:02:56,540 --> 00:02:57,540
Girls like you.
49
00:02:58,260 --> 00:02:59,800
Not the way I want them to.
50
00:03:02,540 --> 00:03:04,180
They don't take me seriously.
51
00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:05,960
They... Treat me like a pet.
52
00:03:08,540 --> 00:03:13,040
They pat my head, rub my cheeks, pull my
ears.
53
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,400
They do everything but throw a stick and
yell fetch.
54
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,380
Come on, Arnold. You're exaggerating.
55
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:26,820
No, I'm not. It was different when I was
younger. But now that I'm 11,
56
00:03:26,980 --> 00:03:28,480
everybody's got a girl but me.
57
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:33,300
No girl wants to kiss a guy who only
comes up to her training bra.
58
00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:40,090
have a girl, Dudley.
59
00:03:40,910 --> 00:03:42,790
What do you mean, even me?
60
00:03:45,210 --> 00:03:47,270
I'm a very charming, debonair dude.
61
00:03:51,110 --> 00:03:53,870
I'm one of the most eligible guys in the
sixth grade.
62
00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:57,270
You're also taller than me.
63
00:03:57,830 --> 00:04:00,130
That's why you got a girl and I don't.
64
00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:01,750
Hi, fellas.
65
00:04:01,770 --> 00:04:02,770
Hi.
66
00:04:03,470 --> 00:04:04,710
Hi, Teresa.
67
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:11,620
See what I mean?
68
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,020
I'm surprised you didn't offer me a bowl
of kibble.
69
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,300
Are you kidding?
70
00:04:17,820 --> 00:04:18,820
She likes you.
71
00:04:19,180 --> 00:04:21,579
She makes a special point of coming
over.
72
00:04:21,820 --> 00:04:24,600
She gives you a big smile and a big
hello.
73
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:28,160
And you just sit there like that
incredible lump.
74
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:31,360
Don't you like her?
75
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:32,919
Like her?
76
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,440
When I'm not dreaming about food, I
dream about her.
77
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,440
But what did you expect me to do?
78
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:40,610
Climb up on her lap? and kiss her?
79
00:04:42,270 --> 00:04:46,410
No, but if you acted more friendly and
invited her to that party that you ought
80
00:04:46,410 --> 00:04:48,510
to be throwing, I bet she'd say yes.
81
00:04:48,890 --> 00:04:50,850
No way. You're just chicken.
82
00:04:52,830 --> 00:04:53,830
Okay, Dudley.
83
00:04:54,070 --> 00:04:58,490
I guess I'm gonna have to show you. I'm
gonna go over there and ask her and
84
00:04:58,490 --> 00:05:02,670
she's gonna dump all over me and make me
feel like dirt and then that'll prove
85
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:03,830
what a fool you are.
86
00:05:06,510 --> 00:05:07,510
Sounds reasonable.
87
00:05:12,970 --> 00:05:13,970
Hi, Teresa.
88
00:05:14,110 --> 00:05:15,590
Can I talk to you for a second?
89
00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:16,830
Sure.
90
00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:21,130
Um, well, Saturday's my birthday.
91
00:05:21,490 --> 00:05:23,410
Not that I'm trying to hit you up for a
present.
92
00:05:23,710 --> 00:05:25,630
Well, congratulations, Arnold.
93
00:05:31,950 --> 00:05:32,950
Anyway,
94
00:05:34,490 --> 00:05:36,930
I was thinking of throwing a party.
95
00:05:37,210 --> 00:05:40,210
And if I did, you probably wouldn't want
to come.
96
00:05:40,530 --> 00:05:41,790
Oh, I'd love to.
97
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,820
I don't blame you for not... Did you say
love, too?
98
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:51,080
I'd like to go very much, Arnold. I'm
glad you asked me.
99
00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:53,040
You are?
100
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:54,440
Well, that's terrific.
101
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:57,400
It's Saturday night at my penthouse.
102
00:05:58,140 --> 00:05:59,140
Arnold!
103
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,180
Did you change your mind?
104
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:04,520
No, but what time is the party?
105
00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:06,300
What time would you like it to be?
106
00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:09,160
How about 7 o 'clock?
107
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,120
You got it. I'll see you.
108
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,680
We're going to have the best party I
ever gave.
109
00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:23,840
Only this time we're not going to be
stupid.
110
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:27,480
We're going to shake hands first, then
play spin the bottle.
111
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:32,040
Way to go, lover.
112
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:35,960
Hi, Teresa.
113
00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:37,620
Hi, Arnold.
114
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,420
I forgot to ask you.
115
00:06:41,020 --> 00:06:42,460
How are you getting to the party?
116
00:06:42,780 --> 00:06:44,400
I guess my folks will bring me.
117
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:48,640
I can do better than that. I'll send my
dad's chauffeur limo for you.
118
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:53,140
I'm talking long, black, and paid for.
119
00:06:56,760 --> 00:07:02,700
Oh, I can't believe this. It's just like
in the movies. A penthouse, a big
120
00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:04,400
party, a limo.
121
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,360
I feel like Cinderella.
122
00:07:07,820 --> 00:07:08,820
Yeah?
123
00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:12,200
How would you like to be Cinderella?
124
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:13,720
What do you mean?
125
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:17,200
What I mean is, I'll make it a costume
party.
126
00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:19,160
And you could dress like Cinderella.
127
00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:22,280
But please, don't think of me as your
fairy godmother.
128
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,120
Marlon, you're too much. I am?
129
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,060
picked up in a limousine.
130
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,300
Limousine? Fantastic!
131
00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,820
That's right, Dudley. I got a date with
Teresa.
132
00:08:00,140 --> 00:08:01,360
I got a date!
133
00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:05,860
I guess she liked you all the time, but
you just never made the big move.
134
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,080
Yeah.
135
00:08:07,460 --> 00:08:11,340
Hey, maybe I got that kind of charm that
sneaks up on women.
136
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:15,680
But anyway, it looks like little
Arnold's got himself a big mama.
137
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,900
This is going to be the biggest night of
my life.
138
00:08:24,140 --> 00:08:25,140
Come on.
139
00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:30,580
One man seeks redemption.
140
00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:35,880
I got to have one in midlife crisis, you
know. And find his voice.
141
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,820
It's a BET Blackbuster movie premiere.
142
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:40,079
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143
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:41,080
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144
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157
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158
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159
00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:52,540
Michael, thanks for the underwear.
160
00:09:54,220 --> 00:09:55,340
I'm wearing your...
161
00:10:00,110 --> 00:10:01,910
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162
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166
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167
00:10:18,490 --> 00:10:21,030
You'll be as happy as you can be in this
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168
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:26,140
Viewers are saying this show opens your
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169
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,260
After 50, I was told that no prisoners.
170
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,160
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171
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:34,940
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172
00:10:34,940 --> 00:10:40,640
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173
00:10:42,030 --> 00:10:48,050
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178
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:10,330
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179
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:11,470
only on BET.
180
00:11:11,850 --> 00:11:16,530
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00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:19,910
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182
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:21,380
In this lifetime.
183
00:11:21,540 --> 00:11:26,220
Viewers are saying this show opens your
eyes to some truly inspirational women.
184
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,340
After 50, I was told there's no
prisoners.
185
00:11:28,940 --> 00:11:30,240
Uplifting and positive.
186
00:11:30,460 --> 00:11:35,020
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chose to do what I'm doing. And it's a
187
00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:40,740
blessing. Chat to Real Life Divas.
Sundays at 1130, 1030 Central on BET.
188
00:11:44,460 --> 00:11:48,500
I'll put these over here. Great. Here,
Adelaide. Thanks a lot for helping me,
189
00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:51,360
gang. Oh, they are going to look so cute
in their costumes.
190
00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:55,340
Oh, Willis, couldn't we hang around so
we could see them? No way. Right, Dad?
191
00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:57,020
Right. Arnold gave strict orders.
192
00:11:57,220 --> 00:12:00,000
Anybody over 12 years old caught in the
living room gets a nose full of party
193
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,000
dip.
194
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,000
Well, what about you, Adelaide? You're
over 12.
195
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:05,680
I got a fake ID.
196
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,620
Arnold gave me a special pass for
serving.
197
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:26,190
I put hairspray on my plumes.
198
00:12:28,190 --> 00:12:29,790
Who are you supposed to be, Arnold?
199
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,570
Who else? Prince Charming.
200
00:12:31,890 --> 00:12:34,070
Might one ask if there's a Cinderella?
201
00:12:34,530 --> 00:12:38,410
One might ask, but one ain't gonna see
her because one ain't gonna be here.
202
00:12:41,830 --> 00:12:45,150
I happen to know that Cinderella's name
is Teresa.
203
00:12:45,550 --> 00:12:48,710
I'm arranged to have her picked up in my
chauffeur -driven pumpkin.
204
00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:54,370
Sounds like we got a hot romance going
on here. Tell us about it, Prince.
205
00:12:55,610 --> 00:12:59,270
Well, I first saw her last semester.
206
00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:03,590
Our eyes went across a crowded
cafeteria.
207
00:13:06,050 --> 00:13:09,770
I got so excited, I squeezed my hot dog
right out of the bun.
208
00:13:12,890 --> 00:13:15,090
Boy, she must be something really
special.
209
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:18,710
All right, how come you never mentioned
your dream girl before now?
210
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,570
I never knew she liked me.
211
00:13:21,020 --> 00:13:24,380
I worshipped her from afar, but now I'm
going to worship her from an ear.
212
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:30,700
His Highness has just issued a royal
proclamation. We're all banished from
213
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:31,700
living room.
214
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:36,280
My first guest. Get banished. I'm going.
Get banished. I'm going.
215
00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:37,580
I'm going. I'm going.
216
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:08,880
Food's on the table.
217
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,060
Everybody, start pigging out.
218
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,800
Who are you supposed to be, Arnie?
219
00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:18,420
Prince Charming. Who are you?
220
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:19,880
President Reagan.
221
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:25,040
President Reagan?
222
00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:28,800
Yeah, in his movie, Cattle Queen of
Montana.
223
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,080
I was lucky. I missed that one.
224
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,560
Have some food, Dudley. Okay.
225
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,280
mine.
226
00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:53,120
Well, it's a coincidence that Prince
Charming meets a Cinderella in the
227
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:58,020
going to the same party. It's not a
coincidence, Arnold. We came together in
228
00:14:58,020 --> 00:14:58,879
your limousine.
229
00:14:58,880 --> 00:14:59,880
Billy's my date.
230
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,460
You're talking about Teresa.
231
00:15:16,209 --> 00:15:17,590
Well, enjoy yourselves.
232
00:15:19,010 --> 00:15:20,970
Uh, excuse me.
233
00:15:21,810 --> 00:15:25,610
I have to go to the kitchen to kill
myself.
234
00:15:27,750 --> 00:15:30,990
You're sitting on the couch, you're
watching TV, and your life's passing you
235
00:15:31,090 --> 00:15:34,010
Maybe I'll go to school next year, maybe
next semester. No, do it right now.
236
00:15:34,130 --> 00:15:37,190
They'll work with you after work, or you
can go before work. Go talk to somebody
237
00:15:37,190 --> 00:15:40,350
right now. They out to help you. All you
gotta do is pick up the phone and make
238
00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:42,570
the call. Why are you making it
complicated? It's easy.
239
00:15:42,870 --> 00:15:44,670
I refer to myself as just,
240
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,980
It's hard to control them. Because they
used to be up here and now they're down
241
00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:51,600
here. Fall out over here and they'll
fall out over there.
242
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,300
I need a bra that is going to pick it up
and pull it back. Help them up. You
243
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:58,040
lift them up. A beautiful, supportive
bra.
244
00:15:58,280 --> 00:15:59,280
Could it be true?
245
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:03,500
The Playtex 18 -Hour Comfort Lace Bra.
The great fit you expect from Playtex.
246
00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:05,140
Now with beautiful lace detail.
247
00:16:05,420 --> 00:16:06,600
My ex -husband was a leg man.
248
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:07,659
Was he?
249
00:16:07,660 --> 00:16:08,660
That's why he's my ex -husband.
250
00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:12,420
Playtex. Who knows you like we do? This
is going to make my other bras jealous.
251
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,140
Play.
252
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:19,840
Striping. Body work. Do you have a
passion for turning wrecks like these
253
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:24,980
rides like these? Why not turn that
passion into a career? It starts with
254
00:16:24,980 --> 00:16:29,520
training from Universal Technical
Institute. In UTI's Collision Repair and
255
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:33,660
Refinishing Program, you'll learn body
work, framework, sheet metal
256
00:16:34,180 --> 00:16:37,540
welding, automotive painting,
refinishing, and customization.
257
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:42,480
If you're looking for a career that
combines high -tech skills and
258
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:47,440
career where technicians are in high
demand, then UTI's CRRT program is the
259
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,440
place for you.
260
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:52,780
UTI's program is ASE certified, and all
courses meet tough ICAR standards.
261
00:16:53,260 --> 00:16:57,520
Our strategic alliances with DuPont
Performance Coatings, Toyota Lexus, and
262
00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:02,320
Mercedes -Benz give you a huge advantage
after you graduate. And check this out.
263
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,339
At UTI, you can graduate in just about a
year.
264
00:17:05,540 --> 00:17:07,280
Don't put this off another minute.
265
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:11,440
Call UTI right now and we'll send you a
free information kit. Universal
266
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:12,599
Technical Institute.
267
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,880
The following is rated SX viewer
discretion advised.
268
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:22,240
HeliBlueBooksKBB .com calls it one of
the top 10 coolest new cars under $18
269
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:23,240
,000.
270
00:17:23,540 --> 00:17:27,140
IntelliChoice .com gives it their Smart
Choice Award.
271
00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:30,440
And it's the most affordable all -wheel
drive in America.
272
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:35,520
The Suzuki SX4 Crossover. Now playing at
your local Suzuki dealer.
273
00:17:36,590 --> 00:17:41,510
It's going to be a great ride. Right
now, get 0 % financing for 60 months on
274
00:17:41,510 --> 00:17:42,730
Suzuki's. Hurry in.
275
00:17:43,090 --> 00:17:45,090
Rats, it gets down and dirty.
276
00:17:45,370 --> 00:17:46,770
Guess who's back in the building?
277
00:17:47,070 --> 00:17:48,390
Nothing but party people.
278
00:17:48,730 --> 00:17:52,150
It's your dirty Nelly. I'm going to be
holding this thing down all week. It's a
279
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:56,690
hot and hair Nelly takeover. I'll be
doing this thing all week. Nelly, grab
280
00:17:56,690 --> 00:17:57,690
city. I'm here.
281
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:02,020
There are people that don't want to be
around each other. What kind of bisexual
282
00:18:02,020 --> 00:18:03,180
was this?
283
00:18:03,420 --> 00:18:06,600
It was just inappropriate for my mother
to be in the room. The tissue is so
284
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,400
thick you can cut it with a knife. We
decided to go out.
285
00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:11,380
Don't make me because I will.
286
00:18:11,660 --> 00:18:13,060
I can't go out to dinner with this
mother.
287
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,240
You can tell he's frustrated.
288
00:18:15,620 --> 00:18:17,060
His jaw is clenched.
289
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,500
He's not really trying to say anything.
290
00:18:18,780 --> 00:18:20,380
I just want to choke. Get out of the
mother.
291
00:18:21,380 --> 00:18:25,700
He came out there catching all new cows.
292
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:48,940
We would have been here sooner, but
we're up there counting our blessings.
293
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:50,480
Malcolm and Eddie. See?
294
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:53,540
Fix it good as new. What you talking
about weekdays?
295
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,560
Different strokes. Malcolm and Eddie.
Weekdays at 9.
296
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:57,760
Only on BET.
297
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:02,140
On the next Iron Ring, see who the
hopeless learn their faith.
298
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,300
Woo! What are you talking about here?
What are you talking about? The all -new
299
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:06,660
Iron Ring 2.
300
00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:09,700
Every trip.
301
00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,460
Every time.
302
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,120
California, here I come!
303
00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:14,700
Buckle up.
304
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,420
Though you and your friends get home
safely.
305
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:23,500
Screaming to the world from the top of
some place very high. See if I'll save
306
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:26,240
lives. Okay. Visit NHTSA .gov.
307
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:27,520
Low and slow.
308
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,620
Best friend, what are you going to do?
309
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:34,400
Brought to you by the U .S. Department
of Transportation and the Ad Council.
310
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,880
That is spectacular advice.
311
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:46,060
This is a man who almost learned to walk
at a rehab center that almost got
312
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,060
built.
313
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,740
By people who almost gave money.
314
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:52,500
Almost gave.
315
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,100
How good is almost giving?
316
00:19:56,460 --> 00:19:59,280
About as good as almost work.
317
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:07,080
The doctor recommend what's best for
you. Sponsored by Honey Nut Cheerios and
318
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,080
the BET Foundation.
319
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,960
Why don't we get... Okay, enjoy the
movie. Can I have fun, kids?
320
00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:16,000
Hey, Arnold, how's the party going? You
having a good time?
321
00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:18,110
Send everybody home.
322
00:20:19,530 --> 00:20:20,850
What do you mean?
323
00:20:21,150 --> 00:20:22,670
This party is canceled.
324
00:20:23,610 --> 00:20:24,730
But it just started.
325
00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:27,930
You know that girl I'm so crazy about?
326
00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:29,330
What about her?
327
00:20:29,430 --> 00:20:30,430
I hate her.
328
00:20:31,470 --> 00:20:32,530
What happened, Arnold?
329
00:20:33,770 --> 00:20:34,970
Billy came with Teresa.
330
00:20:35,390 --> 00:20:36,390
She's her date.
331
00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:39,390
Oh, no, wait a minute. I thought that
you were her date.
332
00:20:39,630 --> 00:20:40,630
So did I.
333
00:20:40,810 --> 00:20:43,930
I'd like to give Cinderella a shot with
her glass whippers.
334
00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:47,380
Look, little brother, you want to win,
Teresa?
335
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:48,800
Well, here's what you do.
336
00:20:49,220 --> 00:20:53,740
You just slide up to a real cool and you
say, here's what's going down, baby.
337
00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:57,600
You only have eyes for me because I'm
your fella, Cinderella.
338
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:01,720
Lewis, you're so full of bull.
339
00:21:05,740 --> 00:21:09,660
You never came on to me like that. What
I liked about you was that you were just
340
00:21:09,660 --> 00:21:10,639
the opposite.
341
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,140
You were sweet and kind and gentle.
342
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,620
Charlene, let's get out of here before
you ruin my reputation.
343
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:18,780
Can I go with you?
344
00:21:19,180 --> 00:21:20,600
Mine's already ruined.
345
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,560
Hey, I'm sorry this happened, Arnold.
346
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:25,040
Well, tell me something.
347
00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:28,940
If Teresa had a date with you, why would
she bring somebody else?
348
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,080
Because she's a bigamist, that's why.
349
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,920
Are you sure there hasn't been some kind
of a misunderstanding here?
350
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:38,440
No.
351
00:21:38,700 --> 00:21:42,080
I personally asked her to come over, and
she leaned right down and said yes to
352
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,080
my face.
353
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:47,380
And did you make it perfectly clear that
you were asking her to be your date at
354
00:21:47,380 --> 00:21:48,760
your party, not just a guest?
355
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:50,280
Run up on me again?
356
00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:55,120
See, Arnold, I think it's possible that
she didn't know that she was going to be
357
00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:56,120
your date.
358
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,020
You know, you're right, Dad.
359
00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:01,460
When I asked her, I was nervous.
360
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,440
Well, the same thing's happened to me,
Arnold.
361
00:22:03,660 --> 00:22:04,660
How old were you?
362
00:22:05,740 --> 00:22:06,800
Fifty. It was last night.
363
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:13,400
Mr. Dan, I'll never get a girl of my
own.
364
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,100
Oh, that's not at all true, Arnold.
365
00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:22,620
You're selling yourself short. I mean...
Listen, son, come here.
366
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:30,280
See, everybody has certain problems,
certain handicaps that they have to
367
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:31,280
to live with.
368
00:22:31,620 --> 00:22:33,240
I think I'm going to be a monk.
369
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:36,540
I'm going to give up women and be
celebrated.
370
00:22:39,820 --> 00:22:41,220
I don't think you have to go quite that
far.
371
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,840
You know, actually, son, you've got an
awful lot going for you.
372
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,220
Being short doesn't really matter.
373
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,600
That's easy to say when you're tall.
374
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:52,800
Well, look at Napoleon.
375
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,620
His wife was the beautiful Josephine.
376
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,800
And the famous jockey, Willie Shoemaker,
he has a beautiful wife.
377
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,040
Even Mickey Rooney, all eight of his
wives are very beautiful.
378
00:23:02,940 --> 00:23:05,320
I don't want a wife. I want a date.
379
00:23:07,780 --> 00:23:12,890
Well, That shouldn't be too hard for a
guy with all your natural charm and
380
00:23:12,890 --> 00:23:14,950
and good manners, except when you're
reading, of course.
381
00:23:16,730 --> 00:23:20,770
Always remember this, Arnold. Women like
to be treated with respect and
382
00:23:20,770 --> 00:23:21,770
consideration.
383
00:23:22,450 --> 00:23:23,289
They do?
384
00:23:23,290 --> 00:23:24,290
Oh, sure.
385
00:23:24,410 --> 00:23:25,410
In school.
386
00:23:25,750 --> 00:23:27,770
You've read about Sir Walter Raleigh,
haven't you?
387
00:23:28,330 --> 00:23:30,890
Yeah. He's the clown that invented
cigarettes.
388
00:23:33,190 --> 00:23:36,610
Yeah, that's true, but he also did some
good things. Now, there was a real
389
00:23:36,610 --> 00:23:41,040
gentleman. On one occasion, a lady
wanted to cross the street, but there
390
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,100
this big puddle of water. You know what
he did?
391
00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:46,680
He took off his cape and he threw it
over the puddle so her feet wouldn't get
392
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,200
wet. After that, all the women in London
loved him.
393
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:50,259
Did he?
394
00:23:50,260 --> 00:23:51,260
Right.
395
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:54,040
And the only time he didn't have a woman
with him was when they buried him.
396
00:23:55,580 --> 00:23:59,540
Arnold, instead of feeling sorry for
yourself, you should make the best of
397
00:23:59,540 --> 00:24:02,220
you got. I promise you, you'll be
surprised at the results.
398
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,380
But how do I do that?
399
00:24:06,050 --> 00:24:07,990
Let me give you a couple of suggestions.
400
00:24:11,890 --> 00:24:14,150
Are my guests enjoying themselves?
401
00:24:14,650 --> 00:24:16,370
Yeah, it's a great party, Arnold.
402
00:24:17,270 --> 00:24:18,770
Aren't you eating, my dear?
403
00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:22,430
May I show you something in the way of a
hot dog? Thank you, Arnold.
404
00:24:23,910 --> 00:24:25,350
All right, here we go.
405
00:24:25,850 --> 00:24:27,610
Get one of these hot dogs.
406
00:24:28,910 --> 00:24:29,910
Mustard.
407
00:24:30,890 --> 00:24:31,890
Here you are.
408
00:24:32,010 --> 00:24:34,410
Thanks. These hot dogs look good,
Arnold.
409
00:24:35,790 --> 00:24:37,850
like one, my dear? Yes, I would. Good.
410
00:24:39,510 --> 00:24:45,630
Ladies first.
411
00:24:46,170 --> 00:24:47,950
You're very considerate, Arnold.
412
00:24:49,590 --> 00:24:53,810
There aren't many of us gentlemen left,
and I love the zilch in your voice.
413
00:24:54,450 --> 00:24:55,690
Thank you, Arnold.
414
00:24:56,550 --> 00:24:59,570
And the cute way you tilt your head when
you giggle.
415
00:25:10,700 --> 00:25:12,540
I'll get you a glass of punch, Teresa.
416
00:25:12,860 --> 00:25:14,200
Thank you. My pleasure.
417
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:15,940
What are you going to do?
418
00:25:16,660 --> 00:25:17,820
Drink it for her?
419
00:25:18,380 --> 00:25:19,860
Yes, if she wishes.
420
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:21,880
Look, she's my date.
421
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:23,440
I'll get it for her.
422
00:25:24,060 --> 00:25:25,860
Hey, now what could you have done?
423
00:25:26,060 --> 00:25:27,580
It's all over the floor.
424
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:29,700
No problem.
425
00:25:30,100 --> 00:25:31,100
No problem.
426
00:25:52,780 --> 00:25:56,500
It's just that he's 11 now, and I hear
puberty can do weird things to a guy.
427
00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:02,500
Well, I think Arnold is the only
gentleman here.
428
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:04,180
Yeah, I'm with you.
429
00:26:04,940 --> 00:26:07,580
Well, thank you for being so
considerate, Arnold.
430
00:26:07,980 --> 00:26:09,940
You know, you've got a lot of class.
431
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:11,600
No sweat.
432
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,180
Excuse me. Could I talk to you for a
second?
433
00:26:16,220 --> 00:26:21,260
Do you think we could go to a movie or
something sometime?
434
00:26:21,820 --> 00:26:22,820
Like a real date?
435
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:27,160
Well, to tell you the truth, Arnold, I
never thought of you that way.
436
00:26:28,860 --> 00:26:29,860
Oh.
437
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:31,680
I understand.
438
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,100
Well, eat all you want anyway.
439
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:36,040
Just a minute.
440
00:26:36,940 --> 00:26:42,500
I never thought of you that way because
at school you're just a... Well, just a
441
00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:43,500
cute little kid.
442
00:26:43,860 --> 00:26:44,860
I know.
443
00:26:46,660 --> 00:26:50,800
But now that I see this side of you, I
realize there's much more to you.
444
00:26:51,900 --> 00:26:53,860
Yeah? Like what?
445
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:57,820
Well, you're so confident, thoughtful,
and charming.
446
00:26:58,140 --> 00:26:59,140
That's me.
447
00:27:00,260 --> 00:27:02,380
So, can we go on a date sometime?
448
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:03,860
I'd love to.
449
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:06,880
Oh, man.
450
00:27:09,220 --> 00:27:11,620
Would you like to walk across my cape
again?
451
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:47,600
Nothing but the...
452
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,220
is in 20 minutes. I can't leave without
him. He's got my clubs.
453
00:28:28,060 --> 00:28:31,540
Oh, well, if he doesn't show up, I'll be
glad to take his place.
454
00:28:32,500 --> 00:28:33,500
You go?
455
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:38,760
Well, I don't want to brag or anything,
but I got a hole -in -one last week.
456
00:28:39,060 --> 00:28:41,280
What? Oh, yo, that's great.
457
00:28:41,860 --> 00:28:45,980
You just got to wait for the clown's
mouth to get all the way open.
458
00:29:07,950 --> 00:29:09,250
Too much time on your head.
459
00:29:10,690 --> 00:29:11,690
Cool.
460
00:29:12,110 --> 00:29:15,470
Can I drive it? No, but you can watch
it.
461
00:29:16,870 --> 00:29:17,870
Thanks.
462
00:29:19,350 --> 00:29:26,190
This is nice work and all, but don't you
think it's a little, I don't know, over
463
00:29:26,190 --> 00:29:27,129
the top?
464
00:29:27,130 --> 00:29:29,450
No, man, this is me, Eddie Sherman.
465
00:29:30,250 --> 00:29:32,070
Red flames on blue skies.
466
00:29:39,530 --> 00:29:40,449
You got a good figure?
467
00:29:40,450 --> 00:29:41,450
You tell me.
468
00:30:05,710 --> 00:30:07,010
Isn't it quite funny, Bob?
469
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:11,320
inside getting home.
470
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:48,540
I'll take the crab cake, vodka gimlet,
and your phone number, kitten.
471
00:30:53,660 --> 00:30:54,660
Kitten?
472
00:30:55,740 --> 00:30:56,740
That's right.
473
00:30:56,820 --> 00:31:01,140
You're soft, you're cute, and I can make
you purr.
474
00:31:03,780 --> 00:31:04,719
Oh, really?
475
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,440
Well, I'm tired, I'm cranky, and I can
make you a woman.
476
00:31:19,660 --> 00:31:21,680
hands on me. Girl, you know you like
that.
477
00:31:22,300 --> 00:31:24,700
Well, now I'm going to have to put my
hands on you.
478
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:26,680
Please do.
479
00:31:29,100 --> 00:31:30,100
Hey,
480
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:32,380
what's going on here? That's just crazy.
481
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,100
He touched me in an inappropriate
manner.
482
00:31:36,340 --> 00:31:39,600
Nick and Letty is a valued customer of
the 50 -50 Club.
483
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:43,480
Now, if there's any more problems,
please let me handle it. Now, do I make
484
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:44,480
myself clear?
485
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:45,800
Yes, sir.
486
00:31:46,140 --> 00:31:47,220
Hand me the tray.
487
00:31:48,220 --> 00:31:49,340
Get your freaking
488
00:31:56,590 --> 00:32:03,450
If I wasn't a Christian... Thank you,
Eddie. But you
489
00:32:03,450 --> 00:32:04,850
know I could have handled him myself.
490
00:32:05,270 --> 00:32:07,850
I know. I just didn't want you to break
a fingernail or something.
491
00:32:08,870 --> 00:32:11,710
You might have asked for the night off.
Back to work.
492
00:32:13,770 --> 00:32:18,050
The world is turning over a new leaf.
It's Macy's One Good Turn event.
493
00:32:18,250 --> 00:32:22,830
Saturday and Sunday, you can go a little
greener, too. Give $5 and you'll get an
494
00:32:22,830 --> 00:32:24,830
all -day 20 % off savings, Pat.
495
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,420
Your donation goes to the National Park
Foundation.
496
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:32,620
Buy a reusable tote for just $3 .95, and
$1 will go to the foundation, too.
497
00:32:33,100 --> 00:32:38,720
Give a little green and save 20%. It's a
good turn for everyone at Macy's
498
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:39,760
Saturday and Sunday.
499
00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:42,300
That's the magic of Macy's.
500
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:46,260
The makers of Harold and Kumar have seen
the error in their evil ways and are
501
00:32:46,260 --> 00:32:49,060
happy to present the new and improved
Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo
502
00:32:49,060 --> 00:32:52,600
Bay. Hey, listen, you're not going to
believe this, but the other night I
503
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,280
up at that Asian party and I, um...
504
00:32:54,540 --> 00:32:56,080
Shook hands with... Cindy Kim.
505
00:32:56,460 --> 00:33:00,020
Shut the... Front door. Are you serious?
Yeah, man, she even gave me a...
506
00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:03,680
Crumpet. What is a... Crumpet. It's when
a girl gives you... English pastry.
507
00:33:03,940 --> 00:33:06,680
While you're sitting on the... Patio.
Taking a... Tea break.
508
00:33:07,180 --> 00:33:09,340
Herman Kumar, Escape from Guantanamo
Bay.
509
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:10,560
Rated R.
510
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,000
Now playing only in theaters.
511
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:17,940
Cuba, try this new Comfort Soft
waistband. It's really comfortable.
512
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:19,200
MJ.
513
00:33:21,980 --> 00:33:23,720
Michael, thanks for the underwear.
514
00:33:24,780 --> 00:33:26,900
I'm wearing your underwear.
515
00:33:30,900 --> 00:33:33,060
That you gave me to wear.
516
00:33:34,300 --> 00:33:36,240
The Comfort Soft Waistband.
517
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,460
Tagless and wrapped in cotton. Only from
Hanes.
518
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:47,200
On the next Iron Ring, Team Luda
hopefuls learn their fate.
519
00:33:48,460 --> 00:33:52,040
What do you think about it? Believe it
or not, I feel kind of nervous.
520
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:56,880
With that being said, I'm going to tell
you who I picked first and foremost for
521
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:57,519
the team.
522
00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:01,300
Both Floyd and Lil Jon are knocked out
by their fighting.
41688
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