Original subtitles

Adelaide, you know, I find 30 flights to tell you and you know,

can you fly to me?

Oh dear,

oh, give her a chance. Give her a drink.

Give her a drink.

Adelaide, we really do appreciate your concern for us, but you shouldn't have

done that. That was a very dangerous thing for you to do. Daddy.

Sophia, Adelaide, kids, I want to tell you how very proud I am of all of you.

You did what you were told and you didn't panic.

Speaking of panic... Hello,

Gooch. This is your good buddy Arnold.

Hey, listen.

I understand some liar's been going around phoning people saying he's...

They're just wondering what might be right for you. May not be right for

man is born. He's a man of ease.

Then along come two.

They have nothing but the genes.

But they got different strokes of things. Different strokes of things.

Different strokes.

What might be right for you may not be right for some. A man is born. He's a

man of means.

Then along come two.

They got nothing but the genes, but they got different strokes to take.

Different strokes.

Hello,

hello, hello.

Come in, come in.

Hi, kids.

Hi, Aunt Sophia.

Aunt Sophia, guess what?

Daddy let me drive the car today.

Oh, that's wonderful, dear.

But driving's not for me. As far as I'm concerned, New York is divided into two

kinds of people. Those who drive... and those who get hit by those who drive.

You're leaving out my time. Those who hide in manholes.

I always take taxis.

They're safer.

And you get to keep up on all the new swear words.

Oh, Aunt Sophia, I'm sorry, but I left the scarf in the glove compartment of

Dad's car.

What scarf?

The scarf you asked me to pick up for you today.

Probably Charlene.

We're going to study science together.

That must be a new code name for making out.

Oh, hi, Charlene. Come on in. Hi, Willis.

Hi, everybody.

Hi. Hi, Charlene. How you doing, Kimberley? Oh, great. Just great.

Daddy let me drive the car today.

Oh, wow.

I can't wait till I'm as old as you.

Don't rush it, Charlene. You'll be over the hill before you know it.

You don't want to go from being a young pepper to an old pooper.

Don't pay attention to them, Charlene. Come on, let's hit those books.

She's such a pretty little thing. Do they really study up there?

Well, when you were that age and you were studying alone with a boy, what did

you do?

They wouldn't dare.

if you're bumping gums.

You can open up your eyes, Arnold. All we're doing is our homework.

Hey, you really aren't doing nothing.

Father, you're losing your touch.

No, Arnold's right.

We're just sitting here doing nothing.

Let's do a little something.

Will it?

There's a time and a place for everything.

Okay. The time is tonight.

And to play through that to move you. And I'm talking balcony.

Oh, Willis, I can't. I'm going to a rock concert tonight.

A rock concert?

Without me?

But you said you didn't like that group.

What group?

The Garbage Disposal.

Besides, the concert's a long way out and we'd have to take the subway. And

don't like taking subways at night.

Not unless I get combat pay.

And by the way, I don't like you taking them either.

Oh, well, I'm not going by subway.

Then how are you getting there?

You hitching a ride with Clark Kent?

No, I'm getting a ride with one of the kids from my school.

Oh. Well, who's the lucky girl with the car?

Sherwood Johnson.

That's a funny name for a girl.

Who's Sherwood Johnson?

Just a guy. What's the difference?

The difference is I don't trust guys with cars.

Then why not?

Because they think they're such hot shots.

And when they get a car, they start feeling their oats.

And before you know it, they start feeling your oats.

Willis, Sherwood is a friend who just offered me a ride. That's all.

Aren't you ever going to start trusting me?

Sure. As soon as you start taking ugly pills.

See, you don't trust me.

Sure I do.

As long as you sit in the back seat and Sherwood changes the wheel.

That's right, too, Willis. I see.

Hey, listen.

I didn't mean to ruffle your feathers, little bird.

I'll walk you home.

No, thanks.

Too bad you're not Sherwood.

You could drive me home.

Am I wrong or did I see smoke coming out of her ears?

Women.

Who needs them?

I do.

Follow Spellman and Morehouse students as they explore new traditions while

building a new library for a village.

BET takes you to Senegal, West Africa for a spring break turn breakthrough.

BET News presents Spring Break Diaries, Sunday at 12.

Okay, you slackers, layabouts, you bench warmers, plate bloomers, couch

potatoes, no -shows, dogglers, procrastinators, introducing extreme

-hour shot, your worst enemy.

Contained in this little bottle is the will to take the dog for a walk, pick up

last year's drag leaning, even show up for work. New Extreme Energy six -hour

shot. Feats of superhuman endeavor in a bottle.

Get it and get your deer.

Get yours at CVS and other fine retailers.

Want to get on the fast track to a great career?

UTI's the answer with accelerated technician training for the automotive,

motorcycle, marine, and diesel industries. You can start your new

about a year.

This is basically three years of college jam -packed until just over a year of

work. So you can immediately go out and work in the field and get there quickly.

It can happen, and it can happen fast.

Call us or visit UTI .edu.

UTI is industry's choice. See what it can mean to you at UTI .edu.

It's the smart choice for hands -on training.

UTI has done a very good job.

putting together facilities that enable students to show up and right off the

bat start taking vehicles apart, start learning hands -on. Get a head start and

a hands -on career. Call us or visit UTI .edu.

More top manufacturers choose UTI. See what it can mean to you at UTI .edu.

On the next Iron Ring, the search for warriors continues. Either you throw

and get down or you go home.

Hit me.

I need to get out the hood. Never give a second chance to make a person

impressive, baby.

See who goes hard and see who goes home. Tuesday at 1030.

The world needs to know that I am the best.

I came to win the tournament.

That ain't going to work.

All of the trash talk. Believe it or not, I hit. I hit big.

All of the deception.

Win or lose. Nah, it would be a fact. Good luck, Cat Daddy. Likewise.

I wouldn't win it no other way.

Has led to this moment.

Feel it. Feel it. Come on. Oh! Ah!

The fans can feel it.

Kevin Hart.

Black Poker Stars Invitational. Tuesday at 11.

Hurry, kids. We don't want to be late for the movies.

Hey, check out the tall, blind penguin.

Well, how do I look?

You look very handsome, Phillip.

Smashing, Daddy.

Well, if I'm not, I wasted three dabs of kissable number five behind each ear.

Oh, yes, George, thank you.

Tell her I'll be right down.

Joan's waiting with the taxi.

She's picking me up.

And the check.

You're really letting a woman take you out, Philip?

Yeah, does that shock you? Oh, don't be silly. I supported two husbands long

before they ever called it equal rights.

In those days, they just called it stupid.

Now, Daddy, if I know you, when the bill comes...

You're going to be reaching for your wallet as usual.

Are you suggesting I'm a pushover?

Yes.

Well, come to think of it, you're right.

But not this time, I won't be. No, sure you won't be. No, I won't. Now, just

watch. Look.

Here. My credit cards.

Right here.

My car keys.

I'm just armed, defenseless, and vulnerable.

I hope she'll be gentle with me.

Willis, you sure you won't change your mind about the movie?

No, thanks.

Okay, kids, let's go.

All right.

Good night, Willis. Good night, Willis.

Hi,

Charlene, it's me.

What do you want, Willis?

I just wanted to apologize for making you think that I don't trust you.

Well, you should apologize.

What does he drive anyway?

What's the difference?

I think it's a van. A van?

Willis, will you stop imagining things? Nothing's going to happen.

You bet nothing's going to happen.

And you know why?

Because I am going to drive you to the concert in my dad's limo.

Say what?

You heard me.

Your dad said you could take the limo?

He didn't say I couldn't.

But, Willis, you don't even have a driver's license.

Don't worry, sweet stuff. My dad let me drive before.

Well, if you really think it's all right.

Of course it is.

I got the wheels and all I need is you, little mom.

Oh, Willis, you know I'd rather be with you.

But what'll I tell Sherwood?

Tell that turkey it's Thanksgiving and give him the ax.

See you in half an hour, my little flower.

All

right.

Welcome to Progressive .com. Did you find your policy okay? I did.

Saved over $350.

We have a savings of $350.

A savings of $350.

You know, that comes with concierge claim service, local response claim

and 24 -7 live support, all at no extra charge.

Wow. Wow, I know. I say it louder. Have a great day. Lots of extra features that

don't cost you extra. Now that's progressive.

Call or click today.

Why wasn't my credit approved?

It's because of your credit report.

Your credit report is not good.

Do something about your credit. If it wasn't for your credit history... Repair

your credit today.

1 -800 -686 -4288. Remove inaccurate negative remarks from your credit report

legally. Late payments, collection accounts, charge -offs, repossessions,

deleted. 1 -800 -686 -4288. Buy that house, boat, or car at the lowest rates.

Thanks. 1 -800 -686 -4288.

Call now.

Thanks. This is you after an energy drink.

Unfortunately, so is this.

Why do energy drinks make you crash?

One minute you're wired up. The next, you feel worse than before.

The answer is large amounts of sugar and caffeine.

That's why you should try a new liquid energy shot called 5 -Hour Energy.

With 5 -Hour Energy, you can leave grogginess behind and fill through your

without feeling jittery, tense, or, you know.

That's because 5 -Hour Energy contains a powerful blend of B vitamins for energy

and amino acids for focus, alertness, and better mood.

There's zero sugar, about as much caffeine as a cup of coffee, and only

calories. The two -ounce shot takes you seconds to drink, and in minutes you're

feeling bright, awake, and productive. And that feeling lasts for hours.

So if your energy drink makes you crash, switch to 5 -Hour Energy.

Hours of energy now.

No crash later.

Find out if 5 -Hour Energy is right for you. It's available at these fine

stores. Or for more information, go to 5hourenergy .com.

What you're seeing is our fastest weight loss solution ever, Rapid Slim SX.

I lost 28 pounds fast. Now I look and feel great in my little black dress.

Rapid Slim contains liquid FX technology, premium hoodia, and proven

that feed to ignite your amazing transformation.

I lost 40 pounds super fast.

I reviewed the published research.

As a doctor, I believe Rapid Slim SX is our fastest weight loss solution ever.

Get Rapid Slim at Supercenters, Walgreens, CVS, and stores everywhere.

high school diploma worth?

On average, more than a quarter of a million dollars in additional pay over

course of a career.

Now, thanks to nationally and regionally accredited Penn Foster High School, you

can earn your high school diploma at home in your spare time and at your own

pace. You can study online, in print, or in combination.

You decide.

Whether you need a full program or a few courses to meet your graduation

requirements, Penn Foster is dedicated to helping you complete your coursework

and earn your high school diploma.

Call 1 -800 -388 -5368. Call now.

When my doctor told me I had to lower my cholesterol, I was shocked.

I worried about the foods I'd have to eat.

But you do what you have to.

My wife insists I eat whole grain oats to help lower my cholesterol.

I made the commitment for her.

I was told eating certain foods can help lower my cholesterol.

I guess it's a sacrifice to have to make. Honey Nut Cheerio cereal tastes

and can help lower cholesterol.

No one said it would be easy.

Be happy, be healthy.

The relativity of Mariah equals one diva on her 10th album. It's E equals MC

squared. Live on 106 and Park, Monday at 6.

Today, parents have a lot of hard choices.

Pay the phone bill or pay the doctor.

Fill the fridge or fill a prescription.

But there's a choice that can make life easy, calling 1 -877 -KIDS -NOW.

That's because every state now offers low -cost and free health coverage for

kids. Even working families can get the card for doctor visits, prescriptions,

and more.

So if your kids aren't insured, call 1 -877 -KIDS -NOW.

Write it down, because you've got enough to worry about.

How would you like to run a business of your own, from the comfort of your own

home? It's not as crazy as it sounds.

I made over $100 ,000 a year from my home.

We took in over $200 ,000 last year.

Yeah, you have to be crazy to visit this website and find out how to start your

home business.

Crazy like a fox.

Log on and get your success kit. Last week, I made over $6 ,000.

Crazy? I don't think so. Log on now to get your success kit.

Thanks for the movie, Aunt Sophia.

You're welcome, even if it stunk.

Stunk is right.

This is the first time I've ever seen people line up in a movie theater to get

out.

Oh, look.

There's a note from Willis. Oh, what a thoughtful boy.

He lives here and still writes home.

Hanging out with the guys won't be too late, Willis.

Oh, that's good. Maybe he can forget about Charlene for a while. Oh, speaking

forgetting, we forgot to get the scarf you left in your father's car this

afternoon. Oh, yeah.

Oh, Aunt Sophia, all you have to do is call the doorman on the telephone and

he'll run down to the garage and get it for you. Good idea. How do I get the

doorman?

Just press this button marked doorman.

How clever.

Too bad they don't have a button marked Warren Beatty.

I was wondering if you would be so kind as to... What?

What?

He has the cutest German accent.

He's Spanish.

I didn't know they spoke German in Spain.

Mr. Drummond's car.

Glovo Compartmento.

Gracias.

Oh, I think I'm going to make myself a snack. Would you like anything else,

Sophia, dear? No, thank you, dear.

Oh, Kimberly, dear.

Yes. What about Apple, dear?

Well, okay, Jaws.

Come on, let's go attack the refrigerator.

All right.

Did you find my scarf hole?

It's not there.

But it's in the glove compartment.

The glove compartment's not there?

Oh, the whole car's not there.

It's been stolen.

I better report this.

Dr. Shane.

Let me see.

9 -1 -1.

calling from 697 Park Avenue.

Would you please connect me with the police, please?

Thank you.

Hello, officer.

I would like to report a stolen limousine belonging to Mr.

Philip Drummond.

Description? About 5 '11"...

And the license plate says Drummond 3.

Thank you, officer.

Bye -bye.

Oh, my, that's terrible.

What's terrible?

Someone has stolen your father's limousine.

Hold it.

What are you talking about?

and it's not in the garage.

We better call the police.

I already did. All we can do now is wait and hope and eat.

I think I'll have a cup of tea and a Tylenol.

Now, who would want to steal Dad's limousine right out of the garage?

Well, there are gangs of professionals around or maybe just a mother who wants

to get off his feet.

You know, a lot of kids take cars for joyrides. Really?

And I think I'm related to one of them.

Willis, I hope you didn't do what I think you did.

You did.

Give me the police, please.

697 Park Avenue.

Hello, police.

A lady just called about a stolen limousine that belongs to Mr. Philip

Talk Avenue?

Right. Drummond. Well, that was a mistake.

Somebody just parked it in the wrong place, that's all.

Sorry to bother you.

Listen, we'll lay a check on you for the policeman's ball.

My dad is loaded.

Hi, gang!

Phillip, what are you doing home so early?

Oh, I had to get this tuxedo back to the funeral parlor.

Actually, Joan had to catch an early plane.

Never has one danced and dined so well and paid so little.

She even gave me money for the men's room.

I came out ahead. I didn't have to go.

What is this silence?

It can't be respect.

Hey, what's wrong?

Well, Daddy, you see, it's like this.

When we get back... I'll tell him, dear.

Older people are better at telling bad news.

What bad news?

Philip, I'll try to be as delicate as possible.

You remember the limousine you used to have?

Used to have?

What happened to my limo?

Did somebody run into it down at the garage?

Something worse?

It was stripped?

Stolen? My limo was stolen.

Hello, I want the police. Give me the 19th precinct.

Daddy, we've already reported it to the police.

Oh. Oh, well, maybe they found it. Hello.

I'm calling about a limousine that was reported stolen.

Yeah, the name is Philip Drummond.

Drummond.

What do you mean the report was canceled?

Excuse me.

Sophia, did you call him and tell him it was a false alarm?

If it had been a false alarm, I would have called the fire department.

Well, who could have canceled that report?

Don't look at me, Dad.

Arnold? Guess this is what they call the process of elimination.

Never mind, officer.

Thanks anyway. What?

What check for the policeman's ball?

Oh, he did, did he?

Well, it'll be in the mail tomorrow.

Thank you.

Arnold, just why did you cancel that police report?

Temporary insanity.

Stop stalling, Arnold.

Where's your brother?

What brother did you have in mind?

What a concert.

What a night.

What a kiss.

What kiss?

This one.

You're pretty smooth.

I know.

We gotta get going.

What do you think I was trying to do?

It's almost midnight.

Midnight? Oh, wow.

I better get up. My dad realized the car's... I mean, I promised him I

be late.

Well, did your father really say it was okay to take the car?

Well, what's the difference?

The difference is, not only are you driving without a license, but you

even get your father's permission.

You lied to me.

Charlene, will you quit nagging me?

We're not even married.

What was that?

I don't know.

Well, I know.

You backed into my motorcycle.

officer. I didn't see you pull up. I guess your rearview mirror was too

up.

How old are you?

I'm going to be 18.

When? In about two and a half years.

You know, son, I could have been on that motorcycle you just backed into.

In which case, you would have been talking to a dead cop.

Let me see the registration.

Why do you need that?

Any time I catch an underage driver in a big limousine, I just wonder who he

stole it from.

Officer, I didn't steal it. My dad let me borrow it. Sure, sure, kid.

What's your name?

Willis Jackson.

It says here the owner's name is Drummond.

I'm adopted.

And who are you, his mother?

Officer, if it'll do any good, my father's a policeman, too.

Yeah, he's with the vice squad. Detective Alex Dupree.

You can check it out.

I will.

I see.

All right, well, thank you very much.

Well, at least he's not in any of the hospitals. Thank God for that.

Dad, try not to be too angry with Willis.

Angry? He's an inexperienced driver.

I'm too concerned about his safety to be angry with him.

If that's Willis, I'll kill him.

idea.

Mr. Drummond, are you?

This is a policeman.

I noticed that.

Come in, officer.

What's the problem?

Mr. Drummond, your son was caught driving without a license.

That's a serious offense.

I know it is.

I can't imagine what got into him.

Do you have any idea what the punishment for this is?

That's up to the judge.

The judge should remember that he was once a boy, too.

That is, unless he's a woman.

Well, couldn't you ask the judge to go easy on him? He's never been in trouble

before. If it was up to me, I wouldn't give him his driver's license until he

was 21.

I was thinking more like 46.

21.

Oh, no.

You'll also have to pay for my mingle motorcycle.

He backed into it.

Backed into it? Good Lord.

And since he's a minor, you're responsible.

But Dad's innocent.

He was out on the town with a lovely lady who took him to dinner and bought

a croissant.

He's only a gardenia.

You'll be notified, Mr. Drummond, when to appear.

I have a squad car downstairs.

I'll take the girl home.

I've been in touch with her father. Thank you.

And is my father going to be in touch with me?

Where's my limousine?

Oh, it's been impounded.

And to get it out, it's going to cost you about a hundred bucks.

Oh, no. It's going to cost him about a hundred bucks.

Will I see you tomorrow?

Sure. Only this time, do us both a favor.

Pick me up on your skateboard.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Dad, this is the dumbest thing I ever did.

Right.

You're lucky that the only thing you mangled was a motorcycle.

It could have been a lot more serious.

I realize that you want to be treated as an adult, but you have to earn that

right.

You have to act like one first.

I'm sorry, Dad.

And I apologize for making all you guys worry about me.

That's all right, Willis.

By the way, did you notice when they impounded the car, did they impound my

scarf, too?

Come on, Willis.

You and I have some business to discuss.

They're just one drum.

What might be right for you may not be right for some. A man is born.

He's a man of ease. Then along come two.

They got nothing but the genes.

And they got different strokes of things. Different strokes of things.

What's the six -letter word for fire -breathing monster?

Simone.

That'll work. Thanks, ma 'am.

What about a seven -letter word for penny -pinching miser?

Excuse me.

There's a greasy automobile battery wedged between the calamari and the hash

browns in my freezer.

Explain.

Man, you work with car batteries. I'll let you field this one.

to make sure it was starting sub -zero temperatures.

Man, it's either the freezer or your bed.

Isn't it fucking funny, bro?

They're just going to leave you alone while you're sitting inside your home.

The problem's solved.

Our problem is not solved. What about the 20 pounds of cod you removed from my

freezer to make room for that? I was 18.

Hector and I had a little barbecue.

Barbecue? That was my profit margin.

All right, I'll make it up to you, Mal. I'll help you water down the scotch.

You want to help me? You help the competition.

Mal, from stopping for self -righteous, you're just as much to blame.

Me? What did I do?

Well, as we say in my 12 -step meetings, you are an enabler.

You know, your boundaries have been blurred. You're totally codependent. And

need to stop being a caretaker.