Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some.

A man is born, he's a man of means.

Then along come two, they got nothing but their genes.

But they got different strokes to take, different strokes to take, different

strokes to move the world.

Different strokes to move the world.

Willis, we're supposed to be studying.

Oh, come on, Charlene. We've been at it for an hour.

I know. And it's time we started studying.

Dad, what are you doing in our bathroom?

Same as I do in my bathroom.

Except yours flushes. Mine's on the blink.

How'd you get in there without us seeing you, Mr. Drummond? Oh, I came through

Kimberly's room. I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I didn't want to bother

Kimberly again.

But you interrupted us and we're studying.

Is that what they call it now?

Don't interrupt him.

It looks like he runs in a family.

Arnold, use the bathroom downstairs.

You want to be responsible if I don't make it?

Okay, go ahead.

But hurry up.

Oh, can I go roller skating with you and Charlene tonight?

No. Let me rephrase the question.

What makes you think we're going roller skating tonight?

I guess it was something Willis said.

Like what?

Like Charlene and I are going roller skating tonight.

Willis, you didn't even ask me.

And it's already 5 o 'clock.

Uh -oh, Mouse.

You did it again.

Charlene, why do I have to ask you? We always go out on Friday night. Well, I

just could be busy one Friday night.

Oh, come on, Charlene. You're never busy.

Oh, no? Well, it just so happens that I plan to stay home and wash my hair

tonight. And I plan to get out of here fast.

Oh, come on, Charlene. You're just being super sensitive.

Why do I have to ask you?

Because a girl likes to be asked.

You take me for granted, Willis. You expect me to be available anytime you

to see me.

Well, of course. You're my girl.

Well, I don't like being taken for granted. When we do something, I want to

asked.

Okay. Okay, you got it.

Will you go roller skating with me tonight, honey mouth?

Sweet, sweet stuff.

Well, I suppose I could wash my hair tomorrow night.

Ah, that's better.

Hello?

Hey, Vernon, what's happening, my man?

Would I like to go to the basketball game? Is Amos famous?

All right, great. I'll meet you there. Bye.

Isn't that terrific? Vernon's got an extra ticket for the basketball game.

Oh, for when? Tonight.

Oh, you won't mind anyway because you want to wash your hair.

I won't mind?

I don't believe this. You're doing it again.

Doing what?

Taking me for granted.

Willis, I've had a few best friends.

Hey, Charlene, wait a second.

Why it get so steamed?

We'll definitely go roller skating next Friday night.

Well, you can go with Vernon and try kissing him goodnight.

Women.

Hey, Arnold.

How do you like that?

Charlene walked out on me.

Stop worrying, Willis. You still got me.

Who's worrying?

She'll be begging me to forgive her. I'm the best thing that ever happened to

her. Willis, I don't think you'll ever get married.

Why not?

Because you'll never find a woman that loves you as much as you do.

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You're sitting on the couch, you're watching TV, and your life is passing

by. You keep procrastinating over and over. Well, maybe I'll go to school next

year, maybe next semester. No, do it right now. They'll work with you after

work, or you can go before work. You can do whatever you need to do to graduate.

Go talk to somebody right now. They out to help you. You spend all day on the

phone anyhow.

Why don't you make a phone call that's going to help you in your future? All

got to do is pick up the phone and make the call.

Why are you making it complicated?

It's easy.

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Kimberly!

How would you like to go roller skating tonight? With whom?

That's me.

That's whom?

Arnold, when I go roller skating and that romantic music begins to play, I

have to be with someone I can hold hands with.

What are these, flippers?

Arnold, brothers don't count.

Okay, forget roller skating. Would you consider a movie?

No.

Did I mention that I'm paying?

You've got enough money. No, that's why I didn't mention it.

But I'll treat you if you loan me the money.

Arnold, you're priceless.

At the movies, I'm half priceless.

Arnold.

Arnold.

You talked me into coming to this movie. At least you can be quiet.

I didn't say a thing.

Will you stop chomping on that popcorn?

What do you want me to do, inhale it?

You're really beginning to get on my... Charlene.

I'm getting on your Charlene?

That's Charlene.

And she's with a guy.

And she said she was going to stay home. tonight and wash her hair.

Well, now, Arnold, there's no proof she's actually with that guy.

Maybe he's just a stranger who walked in at the same time.

They're sitting together.

Strangers do that.

Do strangers put their arm on each other?

Well, Arnold, maybe he just doesn't know what to do with his arm.

kind of book that once you pick it up, you can't wait to put it back down

What movie did you see?

Excalibur. It was terrible.

Isn't that the one about King Arthur? I heard that was very good.

It was, up until the point where he started nibbling her ear.

King Arthur did that to Guinevere? No, Dad. Arnold's talking about Charlene.

King Arthur was nibbling Charlene's ear?

No, the guy sitting next to her was.

Dad. We saw Charlene at the movies with another guy.

No.

Are you sure?

Positive.

Oh, poor old Willis. This would be a terrible shock to his ego.

Hi. Oh, hi. Uh, Willis.

Uh, listen, I, uh... I'm gonna make a sandwich.

I think I'll make a sandwich, too.

Good, you can make one for me.

Same for me, too.

Hey, Arnold.

Remember, don't mention Charlene.

Hey, I don't know, the basketball game was great. How was the movie?

Uh, you wouldn't have liked the movie, Willis.

Why not?

There was a lot of whispering and nibbling.

Nibbling? Like on popcorn?

Yeah, popcorn, candy, ears.

Ears? Arnold, you sure are getting weird.

Hey, it's almost time for Charlene to make her nightly phone call.

Of course. Why wouldn't she?

Well, she did walk out on you.

Oh, Arnold.

Arnold.

That little fuss didn't mean a thing.

You know what Charlene's doing right now?

I got a pretty good idea.

She's home drying her hair and thinking of the best way to apologize to Sweet

Willard. Observe. In five seconds, it'll be 10 o 'clock. And she always calls

right on the dot.

Four, three.

Two, one, rain.

I must be fast.

Not as fast as Charlene.

What was that supposed to mean, Arnold?

Are you holding something back from me?

Oh, yeah, and I can't tell you what.

Why not?

Because I can't stand to see my own brother destroyed, wiped out, and dumped

See you later.

Wait, Arnold.

You better start talking or you're going to be the only kid in fifth grade who

wears false teeth.

Well, seeing you ask me so nice.

We saw Charlene at the movies with another guy.

Would you mind repeating that?

Uh, we saw Charlene at the movies with another guy.

I'm not a squealer. He dragged it out of me.

I don't want to go through life gumming my food.

Is this true, Kimberly?

Yeah, I'm afraid it is. I'm sorry, Willis.

Well, how do you like that?

She goes out with somebody else when she's supposed to be at home thinking of

way to apologize to me.

Did something happen between you and Charlene today to make her do something

like this? No, nothing much.

We just had a couple of words.

And the words were, get lost.

Now, why would she say a thing like that, Willis? Oh, she thinks I take her

granted.

Is there any truth in that?

You know, you can't base a relationship on just taking. You have to give, too.

I give a lot.

Oh, sure.

You give her orders, and you give her a very hard time.

You know, I hate to say it, Willis, but I do think you take her for granted.

Willis, if I were you, I'd just take this phone right now, and I'd apologize

Charlene.

She goes out with somebody else and I'm supposed to apologize?

Well, it's when a man goes with a woman.

Sooner or later, he's going to have to apologize for something.

Be smart. Do it while you're young.

Well, she's the one who better apologize.

I'm going to give her a little rope and let her hang herself.

Hello, Charlene.

This is a sweet little Willis.

Did you miss me tonight?

Yeah, like a dog misses fleas.

So, did you film tonight and wash your hair?

You did, huh?

And did you wash all the popcorn out?

You know darn well what I'm talking about.

My brother and sister saw you at the movies with some guy. Are you gonna deny

it?

You're not.

You mean you don't love me enough to lie to me?

Well, goodbye and good riddance.

Goodbye and good riddance?

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This

is

a man who almost learned to walk.

At a rehab center that almost got built.

By people who almost gave money.

Almost gave.

How good is almost giving?

About as good as almost work.

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Mackerman?

Hey, come on, Willis. You gotta snap out of it.

It's been two days now.

Hey, I'm sorry about Charlene, but breaking up with your girl is not the

the world, you know.

It's the end of my world.

Charlene's the greatest, most wonderful girl a guy could ever have.

Call her up and tell her that. I wouldn't go near that double -crossing

times.

Gotcha.

Hi,

kid.

Find yourself another girl.

You know, Willis, that's a really good idea.

Come on, where's that old fighting spirit? Get yourself up off the mat and

out swinging.

Maybe this time you won't get creamed.

Hey, Willis, I know the perfect girl for you. Do you remember the girl that

works at Hamburger Heaven that you introduced us to?

Which one was that?

The one with the body that won't quit.

How old are you again?

Obviously older than we thought.

That's Vita Spears.

Yeah, I know her, and she always gives me a big smile.

Did she also give you her phone number?

Yeah, but I was going with Charlene at the time.

Well, you're not going with Charlene now. Why don't you give Rita a call?

Just dial bad bye.

And listen, why not make a party out of it? Invite some of your friends.

Hey, that's a super idea, Dad.

Sure. Do it with style. Send out invitations.

It's on the house.

Hey, thanks, Big Splendor. And I can be the DJ at the party.

Wolfman Jackson.

That's more like it. Way to go, son.

Hey, baby, this is sweet Willis Jackson, ready to spread some sugar your way.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Spears.

Can I speak to your daughter, please?

Her mother.

Good thing it wasn't her father.

Hey, Vita, listen, I'm having a party. I want the prettiest girl I know to be my

date.

Oh, no, no, I'm not going with Charlene anymore.

So how about it?

You will?

Terrific. It's this Saturday night, and you will be getting your invitation.

Au revoir, chérie.

That's French for later, mama.

Okay.

Man, that Vita's got vibes that come right through the phone and ring your

See, Willis, you're beginning to forget Charlene already.

Charlene who?

Hello?

Oh, hi, Vita. How you doing?

Well, see, Vita, the reason they didn't get your invitation is because the

party's called off tonight.

Willis didn't call you personally is because he's got this terrible flu and

in the hospital.

I'll tell him.

Bye.

Willis is in the hospital.

Would you care to explain that?

Not particularly.

Explain it, Arnold.

See, Vita's not coming because I didn't mail her invitation.

Why not? You volunteered to mail all the invitations.

I know, but I gotta mail Vita's to somebody else.

Who?

Charlene. Charlene?

Hello, Vernon.

Just a minute, I'll ask Arnold.

Vernon wants to know if Willis is still in a coma.

Hi, Vernon.

I guess Peter misunderstood me.

Willis is not in a coma. They're just feeding him through a tube.

I can't wait to hear if Willis is going to live or die.

Vernon, I think Willis is going to get better real fast.

Bye. And you better start explaining real fast, Dr. Jackson.

I mailed Charlene the invitation because Willis was so miserable without her.

You don't sleep in the same room with them, so you don't hear them moaning all

night.

Oh, Charlene.

Oh.

was just pretending not to miss her. So I figured I'd get them together again.

Alone.

What made you think they were going to be alone?

There's a big party planned here with a lot of people.

Not anymore.

You mean the only invitation you sent out was to Charlene?

Yeah.

But think of all the stamps I saved.

Where's Dr. Spock when you need him?

Hey, thanks, Dad. This party's going to be a blast. It was a great idea.

Yeah, well, listen, Willis, there's a little... Later, Dad.

There's got to be Rita. I wrote her an invitation to be here extra early to

me greet all my guests.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Can I come in?

Oh, shit. Sure, come on in.

Thanks for inviting me, Willis.

That was very sophisticated of you.

That's me.

Mr. Sophisticated.

Charlene, how are you? Hey, Charlene, how you doing? Charlene, nice to see

Would you like to come get some punch? We've got some really good hors d

'oeuvres, too. Thanks.

Where do you think you're going?

Aco Poco's, nicest time of year.

How did she get here? I didn't invite her.

Arnold did.

Say what?

I just wanted to get you two together again, Willis. What about Peter?

She hopes you get over your pneumonia.

Willis, I'm afraid that all your guests have arrived.

The only invitation that Arnold sent was one to Charlene.

You're kidding.

everybody. Am I the only guest here?

It sure looks that way, doesn't it?

Kimberly, how about you and Arnold giving me a little hand in the kitchen?

Oh, sure. I can check the toothpicks in the ramaki.

Yeah.

There's nothing worse than a loose toothpick in your ramaki.

Wow, you really look beautiful.

Thank you.

I sure was surprised to get your invitation, Willis. How come you invited

Well, actually, Charlene, I didn't.

What?

Arnold invited you.

Oh, I see.

No, wait.

But I'm glad he did.

Charlene, I've been miserable without you.

You have?

Well, that's wonderful.

What's so wonderful about it?

Well, I've been miserable without you.

You have?

Then everything's okay again?

Not quite.

I don't understand.

Willis, we can't go back the way it was.

Yeah, now I understand.

I hope so.

Because I'm splitting for good if it happens again.

Oh, don't worry, Charlene. I promise you, I'll never take it for granted

You mean that?

I really do.

each other.

Hey, that's terrific.

I knew they'd get back together.

Hon, you shouldn't have done what you did. You're just lucky it came out the

it did.

Man, it's great to be off the hook.

Not yet, you're not. You owe me $200.

What you talking about, Dad?

Willis planned a big party. I've got a whole refrigerator full of food.

No problem, Dad.

Just hand me a fork and step back.

What might be right for you?

They might be right for some.

For many boys, he's a better beat.

Then along come two. They got nothing but the genes.

But they got different strokes to take. Different strokes to take.

Different strokes.

And my beer distributor just gave me two tickets to this Monday night's Chiefs

game to play in the Broncos in first place. Voila.

Dope.

So, Eddie, these seats are on the 40 -yard line, eight rows up. We get to

some ligament snap.

Sounds good. I ain't getting excited.

Yeah. Some sweet honey come around, you're going to do the same thing you

last year. Give my ticket away.

Eddie, that was last year. Did you get a good look at her? She was an 11. I

would have given her a kidney if she needed it.

Come on, roll to the game with me, man.

All right, I'll go.

But I got to hold the tickets.

Where's the love?

Show me some love, baby.

Excuse me, sweet thing.

What you doing Monday night?

Jokes, just jokes.

How about Tuesday night?

Isn't it quite funny, Bob?

They're just going to leave you alone while you sit inside your home.

three other mechanics told me my old pacer was dead.

Is there anything you can't do?

Well, sometimes my pot roast comes out dry.

Here, get a new car, man.

Yo, Ed, lunch is ready. Where's your mom?

Oh, nigga, that did me a favor and took a shot, which means they'll be gone for

years. A shot means good. At least that'll keep her mind off the divorce.

No, no, no, she cool with the divorce.

Matter of fact, my father was, too, which is kind of strange because it's

been three months.

Well, I don't mean to pry, but if both of your parents are happy, that's a good

thing, right?

What are you talking about?

They was the perfect couple.

All he did was watch sports. All she did was complain about it.

That's what marriage is all about.

I know it hurts, man. When my parents broke up, I drank every night till I was

sick.

You know, Malcolm, drinking is never the answer.

It was Kool -Aid. I was 11.

I thought I knew how to shop, but Eddie, your mother is the mother of all

shoppers.

Well, I am going to be visiting your sister, too. And I'm going to need a new

wardrobe for my next stop on the Mom is Okay National Tour.

You know, this compulsive shopping, spending all this money has got to stop.

Unless you bought something for me.

You bought something for me? Oh, Eddie, that's exactly what you used to say to

me when you were six.

Drove me nuts then and it drives me nuts now.

Wait till you see this.

What you doing with this kind of freaky stuff and fuck?

First of all, it's none of your business. Second of all, it's your

How do you know about stuff like this? I don't even know about stuff like this.

Eddie, baby, I'm single now. I feel like a new woman. I want to dress like a new

woman.

Can't you be a new woman with old drawers?

You know, the cotton kind that come up above the belly button.

Oh, like yours.

Brace yourself, son.

I'm going to start seeing men.