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He's a man of me.

Then along come two.

They got nothing but the genes.

But they got different strokes to take. Different strokes to take. Different

strokes to move the world.

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

It don't matter that you got not a lot. So what? I'll have theirs and you'll

have yours and I'll have mine.

81, 82, 83. Come on, Dad, just a few more.

You're almost up to 100, Dad.

I feel even older.

What are you doing?

Gasping for breath.

No, I mean you usually work out at your club.

We're getting him loose enough for the big race today. Yeah. If he gets enough

points, he can win the athlete of the year award.

Nice one. Well, don't overdo it, Dad.

Are you kidding?

I could keep this up for, oh, two or three more seconds.

Maybe not that much.

I'd really love to win that award.

At my age, that would be some achievement.

Just getting to be your age is an achievement.

Get ready. You're going to be late for school.

You better get ready, too, Mr. Drummond.

I don't go to school anymore.

I meant for work.

Don't you do that anymore, either?

I'm going to go in the office a little late today, about 3 o 'clock.

Of course, I have to leave at 3 .30 to go to the club for the race.

Well, why do you bother going at all?

Well, I have to set a good example.

Hey, Adelaide, wouldn't it be great if Dad won that Athlete of the Year Award?

Sure would.

It all depends on how Dad does in the mile run today.

Last year, Dad took third place.

How many were in the race, Arnold? Three.

I was in a race once with two other people.

I came in fourth.

Hey, listen.

I'm in much better shape than I was at this time last year.

You notice how I've lost all that old flab? That's right. Any flab you see now

is new flab.

Well, good luck, Mr. Drummond.

And if you win that trophy...

I hope it comes with an oxygen tank.

Oh, Adelaide.

Listen, I won't be home for dinner tonight.

They're going to present the award at the banquet at the club.

You know, Dad, you deserve to win. You've really worked hard for it. You

think I've really got a chance.

They give the award to the guy that's shown the most improvement since last

year. Well, you sure improved.

That's right.

I'm way ahead of my last year's score in chin -ups, sit -ups, and push -ups.

That's great, because you've got more to push up this year.

I got a lot more energy, too. More endurance.

And I feel a lot stronger.

Go ahead, feel my muscle.

Okay. Yeah.

I'd love to.

Where is it?

Very funny.

Well, let me feel it, Dad. Okay.

Hey,

that's really hard.

It's like a day -old bagel.

Hey, you know what the guys call me down at the club?

L &M.

L &M? Yeah.

Lean it!

I never thought you'd grow up to be a jock.

Hey, maybe if I win that award, they'll retire my support hose.

What a great bunch of guys. You know, Willis, I really love that club. How

you guys never come down there?

Well, Dad, there's a very good reason why we've never been down there.

What is it? You never invited us.

That is a very good reason.

I'll tell you what. After school today, why don't you both come down and have a

workout? Hey, that's great, Dad.

Hey, I may never be lean and mean, but I can be spunky and chunky.

Kimberly, I'm sorry I can't invite you, too, but it's an all -men's club, you

know. Only until the ERA is passed.

Listen, this is going to be great.

I'll have you guys there to root for me when I do that mile run.

It'll be terrific if you win.

Oh, I don't even have to win.

If I can just show an improvement over my time from last year, I'll have a good

shot at that trophy.

Well, even if you don't win that trophy, Dad.

We can always have Arnold Brimes.

What up, homie? I got a new roommate. I'm going to be staying in whatever room

'all staying in. I've been trying to meet Ludacris and trying to get signed.

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See you later, fellas.

Hey, look at that, Arnold.

Wouldn't it be terrific if Dad's face was in there?

Yeah, but they'd have to make the ears a little bigger.

You guys want something?

Oh, yeah.

Which way is the gym? Through there?

Yeah. Oh, thanks. But you can't go in there. Why not? Why not?

This is a private club for members only.

Oh, we know that. Our dad's a member.

Why don't you use the club facilities?

I hope that includes the toilet, too, because I've got to go.

Well, you're going to have to go someplace else. Look, boys, don't give

trouble. Hey, we're not trying to give you any trouble.

I told you, this is a private club.

Yeah, and we told you our father's a member.

See, look.

There's his name, Philip Drummond.

a picture.

It's not our age, it's our color.

You people are getting to be so sensitive.

I bet we could get in here if we rolled around in a bin of flour for a while.

Come on, man, let's go.

We don't need the house to follow us.

I wouldn't mind if one fell on him.

The chimney falls on it, too.

Carl, would you take this to the dining room, please?

Oh, and put it behind the lectern. Be more impressive if no one sees it before

the presentation.

Sure thing, Mr. Undercut. Everything going all right?

No problem, sir. There were a couple of black kids here a few minutes ago when I

got rid of them. What'd they want?

They wanted to use the gym. And get this.

They said their father was a member.

That'll be the day.

We were.

But the funniest thing happened to us on the way in.

They showed us the way out.

What do you mean? What happened?

We clashed with their color scheme.

You know that wonderful club that Dad's so proud of? That great bunch of guys?

They're a great bunch of bigots.

Bigots? Yeah, but the desk clerk's so bigoted he won't even play blackjack.

actually tell you you couldn't go in because you're black? No, they never

the guts to say anything like that. They make up some excuse.

You know, I should have given that turkey a piece of my mind. I should have

given him a piece of this.

Ha!

And some of this.

Ha! Ha!

Right in the you -know -where.

Willis, I just can't believe this. Are you sure you couldn't have misunderstood

him? No way.

This isn't the first time me and Ronald have experienced prejudice.

We've had it all our lives.

Yeah, we've been black since birth.

I think that there's some other explanation.

I know Dad wouldn't even belong to a club like that, and I'm going to prove

to you guys.

Who are you calling?

I'm calling the club.

You know the name of the man you guys spoke to?

No, but I can think of a few names that would fit him.

Just ask for the head bigot.

Hello?

Who's the manager, please?

I'd like to speak with him.

Yes, Mr. Endicott.

My employer, Mr. Willis Jackson, is interested in joining your club.

Do you have any restrictions?

None, huh?

Well, that's good, because my employer happens to be black.

How soon can he become a member?

Two thousand and what?

Thanks a lot.

Says there's a big backlog.

Any questions?

Guess what?

I came in second. I did it.

I won.

I'm athlete of the year.

When Mr. Endicott told me, I couldn't believe it. What a great guy. What a

club.

Yeah, what a great club.

Terrific. Can't wait to join.

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That is spectacular advice.

Well, don't just stand there.

Your father is athlete of the year. Say something.

Well. Hey.

Hey, hey.

I just can't believe it.

Athlete of the year.

I'm the same guy who used to bounce you on his knee and get a charley horse.

Well, come on, gang, tell me how terrific I am.

You're doing a pretty good job of it by yourself.

Hey, Daddy, it's terrific.

Well, listen, there's something I gotta tell you. It's just that... It's just

that... Well, we were all wondering where your trophy is.

Oh, they're gonna present that tonight at a banquet at the club.

But, Dad, what I wanted to say was...

Daddy, what we were all really trying to say is that we really are very proud of

you.

Right, Arnold?

Right.

Right, Willis?

Right, Dad.

You're the greatest.

Hey, listen. I want you kids with me at that banquet tonight.

Hey, those crazy guys.

They made up a song in my honor. You want to hear it?

Well, I'll sing it for you anyway.

For he's a jolly good athlete, for he's a jolly good athlete, for he's a jolly

good athlete.

In spite of his varicose veins.

Isn't that terrible?

I'm going upstairs and rest for a while. Now, look, if I rest too long, come up

and wake me up, will you?

Oh, oh, by the way, how come you guys didn't show up at the club today?

We missed the bus.

Uh,

they mean we missed our homework because we left it on the bus.

Now, look, you don't have to make up excuses.

If you were too busy to come, that's okay.

I was kind of disappointed, but the main thing is I won. And you'll all be there

tonight to see me get my award.

Sure, Dad.

Why did you stop me from telling him?

He's got a right to know what goes on at his club.

Well, of course he does, Willis, but at least we can wait until after he gets

his award.

He's so proud of that trophy. Well, we can tell him tomorrow.

You'd think some dumb trophy's more important than getting this thing out

the open.

He's got a good point, Kimberly.

Willis, it's not a dumb trophy to Dad.

He's worked very, very hard for that trophy.

She's got a good point, Willis.

I don't know.

How can he take both sides of a question?

I might go on to politics one day.

Come on, Willis. Out of respect for Dad's feelings, can you just keep a lid

it for one night?

Yeah, let's be considerate.

Instead of ruining his life tonight, let's ruin it tomorrow.

All right, I'll wait.

Thanks, Willis.

But I'm not going to that dinner tonight.

What you talking about, Willis?

I'm not going.

Willis, you've got to go.

I'm not going to a dinner given by a bunch of bigots.

I'll probably get indigestion.

Well, it's just because they're bigots doesn't mean they can't cook.

Arnold, how come you don't understand what I'm talking about?

At least Kimberly has an excuse.

She's white.

Oh, great.

I'm white, so I'm a dummy?

Kimberly's right. Her color has nothing to do with her being a dummy.

Great. Now you're insulting me, too.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean it that way.

Look, Willis, I feel just as bad about this as you do. Honest. No, you don't.

Then you wouldn't want me to go to this dinner.

Willis, I don't want you to go for my sake.

It's just that it means so much to Dad.

They probably won't let me and Earl in.

Please, Willis. For Dad?

All right, I'll go.

But don't expect me to smile and look happy. I can't pretend.

Sure you can, Willis. Look.

Oh, by the way, I... I'd like you to meet my family. This is my daughter,

Kimberly. These are my sons, Willis and Arnold.

Hi. Carl, meet my children.

Hi there.

Hi.

How you doing?

Hi.

Get to know my sons, Carl. They're going to be around here a lot from now on.

Oh, that's just dandy.

Excuse me.

Mr. Endercott, can I speak to you for a moment, please?

Something wrong, Carl? You seem a little nervous.

I'm afraid I made a little goof.

If anyone can make a mistake, what are those two doing?

That's what I was trying to tell you. Those are the two kids I threw out this

afternoon. Turns out they're Phil Drummond's kids.

You're joking.

Do I ever joke?

No, you have no sense of humor.

Did Drummond raise a fuss?

No, apparently they didn't tell him what happened. Good.

Let's make sure we sit on it, too.

There's the athlete of the year.

Congratulations, Phil. You really deserve that award.

Thank you, George.

And who's this handsome group?

I'd like you to meet my family, George. My daughter, Kimberly, my sons, Willis

and Arnold.

This is Mr. Endicott, the manager of our club.

Hello.

I haven't seen you boys around the club.

I'll tell you why you haven't seen us around the club.

Ow!

It's because he hurt his leg.

Oh, really? When did that happen, Willis?

Very recently.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll go get things rolling, Phil. Good idea.

People are getting hungry. They're starting to put salt in their fingers.

Attention, please.

May I...

Thank you.

I guess you all know why we came here tonight.

We came here to have a free meal.

And now that we've had it, you can see why it's free.

But seriously, folks, we're here to honor the Riverside Athletic

Club Athlete of the Year, Phil Drummond.

I just want to say, Phil, it gives me great pleasure to present this trophy

to a great club member and a great sport.

Well, come on up and get it.

Thank you, George.

Whoops.

I want to thank you fellas for the trophy and the hernia.

I know you don't want to listen to a long, boring speech.

So I'll give you a short, boring speech.

I want to thank everybody and just say that I never could have done it if it

wasn't for the support of my family sitting right over there. Thank you,

That's okay, Dad.

You're the greatest.

Thanks, Arnold.

When I grow up, I hope I'll be exactly like you. Well, I don't want to wear out

my welcome here, so I'll sign off now.

Thanks for coming out to honor me tonight.

I just want to say that my muscles will be on display all week in the lobby.

credit to this club.

A club that represents the spirit of tough competition, good sportsmanship,

fair play.

The same spirit that makes this country what it is.

And I'm proud to say that the Riverside Athletic Club represents all that's the

best in America.

You mean white America.

Willis. What my brother meant, folks, was white.

No, I didn't.

Anybody want to see my bird impression?

Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't want to ruin your evening.

But I just can't swallow what this guy is dishing out.

What are you talking about, Willis?

Well, that guy over there, Carl, he kicked me and all out the club today.

What?

That's right. He treated us like a couple of dogs that made a puddle on the

road.

That's why we didn't get to see you run your race.

Carl, is that true?

Well, look, Phil, I didn't know they were your kids. I mean, I thought... You

thought what?

I was just following Mr. Endicott's instructions.

Thank you, Carl.

Bill, well, I am sorry, but if we had known they were your kids, we certainly

would have made an exception.

An exception?

To what rule?

Yes, what rule, George?

Are you telling us that we belong to a restricted club here, George?

Restricted? When did that policy start?

Well, it's kind of an unwritten policy reflecting the feelings of the

committee. Who's on that committee?

Ronnie, you're on that committee.

Did you know about that?

You too.

George, I'm shocked.

And I'm angry at myself for not keeping up with what happens in the club I

belong to.

Well, folks, obviously this wasn't planned.

I suppose when a guy gets hit by a surprise like this, he has two choices.

Either to walk away or to stay and fight.

And I'm sure my family will agree with me when I tell you that I intend to stay

and fight.

Gentlemen,

there are going to be some changes around this club, both in policy and in

personnel, and very soon.

You will have a fight on your hands, Phil.

Good, I'm in great shape for it.

the rest of this evening.

Sorry, Dad.

I didn't want to ruin your evening.

I just couldn't hold it in any longer.

You haven't ruined it. You did the right thing, Willis. Now we've got this thing

out in the open. Now we can deal with this. This racism.

You know, Daddy, the next thing we've got to deal with around here is sexism.

Sexism?

Daddy, do you realize that there's not one female member in your club?

You just wait until the National Organization for Women hears about this.

Why, you could be boycotted.

Or worse, girlcotted.

Well, I wouldn't have any objection to having women in the club.

Well, if you do, you're not getting me down here to work out.

Why not, Arnold?

I don't want no woman to see me in my bare butt.

They're just one drum.

What might be right for you?

May not be right for some. One man is born. He's a man of ease.

Then along comes two.

They got nothing but the genes.

And they got different strokes.