All language subtitles for dear_john_s04e14_johns_divided_heart

For the studio audience.

They're going to ruin my school. I mean,
they're just going to ruin it. I'm

sorry to get so emotional about this,
but what they're doing is criminal. It

makes me crazy. Ben, Ben, do you mind?

No, if you think it's criminal, that's
your business.

No, Ben, the hammering.

Oh, I'm sorry, the window's stuck. I'm
just trying to get it open. Ben, it

that every Friday night you're in here
working on something. Don't you think

that just once you could interrupt the
group that meets here on Thursday night?

Oh, no, I couldn't do that.

Thursday nights they have that
assertiveness training class in here.

Last time I tried to fix something, one
of those women threw a chair at me.

John, you weren't saying about this
woman at your school?

Oh, right.

Now, where was I?

You were boring us.

Anyway... You know why they're going to
name this woman headmaster?

Because she's a knockout and 80 % of the
faculty is horny old men.

I could straighten out the other 20 if
you want.

Mrs. Filbert, Mrs. Filbert, please.

John, who is this woman anyway?

Her name is Monica Whitaker. She doesn't
care about the school. She doesn't care

about the kids.

She's just using this position as a
stepping stone. As soon as she gets

job, she's going to leave the school
just like that. That's great. That's

wonderful.

soap opera I'm working on.

Oh, Mary Beth, you're doing it again.

Doing what?

Well, lately, whenever one of us so much
as breathes a word about our personal

lives, it winds up as an idea for the
divided heart.

That's not true.

Oh, no?

What about that episode you wrote about
that poor, lonely, pathetic woman who

spent her entire life desperately
looking for love?

The point is, Mary Beth, for the last
three or four weeks, you've done nothing

but talk about this soap opera.

Now, come on, man. This is supposed to
be a place where we listen to each other

and discuss our problems.

This is a problem.

I have to create a new character named
Roger, and I don't know where to begin.

I'm up all night pacing the floor. All I
can think about is Roger, Roger, Roger.

Who is he? What does he do?

Is he tall or is he short?

Does he live in a mansion or a
penthouse? Does he drive a Maserati or a

This guy doesn't even exist and he's got
a more exciting life than I do.

John, a Siberian yak has a more exciting
life.

Mary Beth, you've been obsessing about
this soap opera ever since you started

writing for it. I hate to say this,
dear, but I think you're becoming a

workaholic. Me?

There's a Workaholics Anonymous meeting
across the hall in room 213 you might

want to check out.

Yeah, but don't get involved with those
people.

They never want to go home.

Mary Beth, for just one night, could you
be at the meeting and forget about the

soap opera, okay?

John, has it ever occurred to you that
perhaps your masculinity is being

threatened? That you're afraid to have a
strong, ambitious woman for your boss?

Hey, I had a strong, ambitious boss.

I was married, remember?

Oh, that's good.

Roger can work for an ambitious, strong
-willed woman.

Would you knock it off, Mary Beth? Our
lives are not a soap opera.

Mary Beth, try to understand.

I know you care about your writing. I
know you care about your work.

And I know you, Roger.

You just can't stand working for an
ambitious, strong -willed woman.

Yeah, and you, Monica.

It's not like having real men working
for you.

That's why you have that dumb blonde out
there.

Ah, that reminds me.

Blondie, my coffee.

Yes, Miss Whitaker.

Bring it over here, Blondie.

Have you...

Given any thought to our little trip to
Paris?

Uh... I don't know. Why don't you stand
up to this woman and be a real man for a

change?

You're right.

Thanks for the little push.

Miss Whitaker, I'm a person.

I have feelings.

I can't go to bed with someone who
doesn't love me for who I am.

Who only wants my body.

Besides, you know I'm engaged to
Jessica.

And in love with Brian.

Don't let this get around.

God,

I want that man.

Monica, I know you don't care about this
company.

You don't care about your employees.

But this time, you've gone too far.

Frank is the best sales manager I have,
and you want to let him go.

The man is 60.

He's got a wife in a wheelchair, a
nephew with gingivitis, and a grandchild

dropped out of medical school to become
a mime.

Now, hasn't he suffered enough?

You can't fire him. Oh, don't tell me
what I can do. He's my father.

You're a woman.

A woman is supposed to be soft and
sweet.

Women are the kinder, gentler sex.

Monica!

Monica! Zora!

Roger! What have I done?

You shot me, Monica.

fantasize you as Ben or Kirk or Tom.

Oh, no, you don't. Tom has enough to do
in my fantasies.

Tom, I realize you don't like this
Monica Whittaker, but what makes you so

she wouldn't be a good headmaster?

You want to know? You really want to?

All right, I'll tell you.

There's a student in the school named
Harvey Willis.

He's not very bright.

He's in Monica's history class.

One day, he left one of his tests, one
of his history tests, in my classroom.

So I took a look at it.

He got seven out of ten wrong, and
Monica gave him an A.

An A to a kid who thinks Little Bighorn
is the opening act for Springsteen.

Kid's an idiot. Nobody opens for the
boss.

Monica gave him an A because she's a
sucker.

Just so happens that Harvey's father is
the head of the school board.

Ooh, this is juicy.

John. Huh? John, I think you owe it to
the school to go down there and expose

this woman for what she is.

Well, I, uh... I can't.

Why not?

It's just something I'd rather not talk
about.

Why? Is it interesting?

No, it's just something I'm not very
proud of.

A mysterious secret.

John.

Oh, come on, John. What is it? No, no,
no. Just forget it, okay?

Look, I don't want you people thinking
that I'm some kind of a villain.

Come, come, John. We're your friends.

We'd never think of you as a villain.

Roger is not a villain, big kid. Yes, he
is.

Why do you always take Roger's side
instead of mine, Mother? He's only your

-in -law.

Because, my darling son, you are a
spineless twit.

Nevertheless, you wouldn't favor Roger
if you knew his secret.

Good to see you, Vanessa.

Sanders, how are you? Fifi, my dear.

Binky. Roger.

Now, the reason I called you here
today...

Don't have what it takes to run the
family business anymore.

I'm just not big enough.

Since you are an attractive, passionate
woman, you've decided that I, a man of

seething integrity, should be the one to
run the business instead of that

stupid, sniveling son of yours.

Oh? And who might that be?

You, you spineless twit.

Mom!

talk to me like that.

Sanders, you've been trying to open that
safe for the past two weeks now. What

seems to be the problem?

I don't know the combination.

Well, keep trying.

I need those papers in order to sign the
company over to Roger.

You can't do that, Mother. He's a
terrible person. You realize why after I

reveal his secret.

Because I know it's something you're not
proud of.

Do the words history teacher mean
anything to you?

My God.

There's no way you could know about
that. No.

But I found the one person who does.

Cassandra. My wife.

My sister.

My daughter.

My mistress. My girl.

The only problem is she has amnesia.

Oh, my poor baby.

She's been gone for 15 years.

Where did you find her? I found her in a
bordello in New Orleans.

She was humming torch songs.

Humming torch songs? She couldn't
remember the words.

My plucky little girl.

So you found her. So what?

She has amnesia. She won't remember a
thing about that history teacher or the

night that I...

The point is, she won't remember. Yes,
she will, you rat.

Don't hit me!

I spoke to Rego Vallee's most eminent
psychologist, and he assures me that

Cassandra sees her home and family, it
will trigger her memory.

Fifi, bring her in!

Fifi, bring her in. Fifi, get the tea.

Fifi, stop drinking.

Cassandra, what happened to you?

Who are you?

I am your lonely widowed mother. And
this is your incredibly sexual

husband, Roger.

There's nothing whatsoever between us.

Oh, hello.

That's the wonderful thing about... I'm
always meeting new people.

What's the point, Binky?

You're wasting our time. The little tart
remembers nothing. Don't call her a

tart. She's my sister.

She's my wife. She's my daughter.

She's a tart.

Cassandra Concentrate, the history
teacher.

Think. Think.

Sanders! Haven't you figured out that
combination yet? Should be as easy as

two, three.

One, two, three?

There's one I haven't tried.

Well, Binky, as usual, you're completely
wasting our time.

Your combination worked.

Binky.

Roger. Cassandra.

She's back.

Quick, Vanessa, sign the papers. Sign
them. The history teacher.

Think, think.

Oh, it was awful. Roger did this evil,
evil thing. Yes. Yes, for his own

Because you can't remember the words.

Well, never mind.

John, what is your secret?

Yeah, won't you please tell us? All
right.

All right, all right.

When Monica Whitaker first started
working at my school, we dated for a

Well, actually, we did more than date.
We, uh, slept together.

For your sake, I hope she graded on a
curve.

So what's the problem, John? The problem
is that after I slept with her, I

recommended her for the job of
headmaster.

John, that's not like you. I know.

But of course, the minute she got what
she wanted, I got dumb.

That's like you.

You see, she just used me.

That's when I realized what kind of a
person she is.

When I threatened to go to the board and
tell them about Harvey Willis, she just

laughed. And she said that if I did
that, she would tell them about our

affair. And they'd all think I was just
trying to get even.

John, all evening you've been telling us
you care about the kids, you care about

the school.

And if you really want to help them,
then do something about it. That's

John. Maybe it's time to get off your
duff and do something for your fellow

Be a force for good.

A force for good?

A force for good.

There you go.

Now you'll be able to eat again.

Of course he'll see you. You don't need
an appointment.

Dr. Roger Good is the most
compassionate, generous, giving man in

noticed it's gone.

Mr. and Mrs. Miller are here.

Show them in.

Well, well, you seem a lovely couple,
but trouble.

How can the good doctor help you?

Doctor, we've tried and tried, but we
can't have a child.

And without a child, our lives are
empty.

Oh, don't cry.

My little barren one.

You want a child? Take one of mine.

Here, take your pick.

Oh, no, we couldn't possibly.

Of course you can. It's like taking
Gandhi from a baby.

They're all such lovely children. It's
so hard to decide.

Then take two. They're small.

How can we ever thank you?

By raising them with love.

Show them this is the world in which the
lion should lie down with the lamb.

Teach them respect for all living things
and tolerance for their fellow man.

But above all, never let them watch
Married with Children.

Excuse me, Dr.

Good. Merci.

And he shall have one.

Tell them you and I are on our way. You
and I?

What do you need me for?

You don't think I'm going to give them
my heart now, do you?

Nobody's that good.

Goodbye,

Dr. Good.

Goodbye, Dr. Good.

Bye,

John.

What word he said about Veronica
Spinnaker?

Monica Whittaker.

Whatever.

I'm sorry, folks. I'm afraid this
window's just permanently stuck.

Stand back, kid.

Find the right spot, they'll do anything
you want.

Oh,

my God.

Hey, do you want to go grab a bite or
something?

Sure, I'll be with you in a minute.

Oh, okay.

Good night, Mary Beth. Bye.

Thanks.

Mary Beth, do you mind if I give you a
bit of advice?

You know, your conduct...

was reprehensible.

It might not be a bad idea to just think
about how your obsessive behavior is

affecting your life.

Good night, dear.

I'd just like to say I'm great.

to the Academy for giving me this award
as the best soap opera writer in the

world.

I have no one to thank because I did it
all my life.