Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,739 --> 00:00:03,940
What? Hey, Kirk, do me a favor.
2
00:00:04,220 --> 00:00:05,220
Drop dead.
3
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:10,620
Hey, hey, hey, come on. Let's not let a
little nudity be a deal breaker here.
4
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:14,600
Hey,
5
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,140
Pete, how's it going? Oh, hey, Kirk.
6
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:21,460
Not so good, actually. I just found out
I got laid off.
7
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:22,680
Oh, no. Yeah.
8
00:00:23,460 --> 00:00:25,260
So I'm going to have to get rid of my
brand new Porsche.
9
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,300
And we'll probably lose the house.
10
00:00:29,540 --> 00:00:31,080
And I guess my mom's going to have to...
11
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:32,540
Cancel her eye operation.
12
00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:33,840
Oh.
13
00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:36,000
Damn, that really stinks.
14
00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:37,560
Yeah.
15
00:00:37,980 --> 00:00:41,200
So, what are you asking for the Porsche?
16
00:00:43,740 --> 00:00:47,000
Well, actually, I just need somebody to
take over the payments for me. You know,
17
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,560
so don't repossess and screw up my
credit. You know, it's $600 a month.
18
00:00:50,820 --> 00:00:51,820
Are you interested?
19
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:54,860
$600? That's what I pay for rent.
20
00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:59,140
Can't give up my apartment for some
stupid car.
21
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,240
Well, yeah, it may be stupid, but hey,
look at it this way.
22
00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:05,700
For just $600 a month, you're getting a
Porsche.
23
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:07,920
Wow.
24
00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:09,500
You're getting a Porsche?
25
00:01:12,460 --> 00:01:13,460
So.
26
00:02:14,709 --> 00:02:15,709
Oh,
27
00:02:17,410 --> 00:02:19,370
Ben! Thank God!
28
00:02:19,810 --> 00:02:20,810
Oh, hi!
29
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:25,950
The center's finally got us a new air
conditioner.
30
00:02:26,570 --> 00:02:31,610
Well, actually, it's not new. It's
slightly used. Who am I kidding?
31
00:02:31,950 --> 00:02:33,430
This thing's a relic.
32
00:02:34,450 --> 00:02:36,570
It's got this really nice wood.
33
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,720
That's not true either.
34
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:44,360
It's some kind of brown plastic.
35
00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:47,940
But at least you don't have to worry
about it catching fire when it
36
00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:50,460
Unless you turn it on.
37
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:54,399
Hi, Louise.
38
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:55,540
Hello, Mrs. Hilbert.
39
00:02:55,940 --> 00:03:00,080
Dan, we drove out to the Hamptons so he
could show me his new yacht, the S .S.
40
00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,120
Mary Beth.
41
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,980
He named a yacht after you?
42
00:03:05,580 --> 00:03:06,880
I never thought of that.
43
00:03:23,530 --> 00:03:24,530
air conditioner.
44
00:03:25,090 --> 00:03:26,090
May I say something?
45
00:03:26,390 --> 00:03:27,550
Of course, Ben.
46
00:03:28,050 --> 00:03:32,930
Well, I just want to say that you women
look absolutely beautiful tonight.
47
00:03:33,350 --> 00:03:37,750
And I'm saying it because I mean it.
48
00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:41,770
Not because I think this air conditioner
is never going to work.
49
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,780
You never break if you want to hold on
to your sanity.
50
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,800
Never, ever, under any circumstances,
buy your mother a margarita.
51
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:01,160
What happened, John?
52
00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:05,340
Oh, I spent the afternoon in this
charming little Mexican restaurant
53
00:04:05,340 --> 00:04:07,280
to this old lady with a salt mustache.
54
00:04:08,940 --> 00:04:13,300
After two margaritas and a half pound of
guacamole, she breaks the news to me
55
00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:15,300
that my father had had an affair.
56
00:04:25,070 --> 00:04:28,030
Yes, Mrs. Pilgrim, he is. The affair
happened when I was a kid.
57
00:04:28,690 --> 00:04:29,690
Who was she?
58
00:04:30,010 --> 00:04:34,510
She was a waitress. Who cares who she
was? The main thing is, they broke up
59
00:04:34,510 --> 00:04:35,510
their marriage.
60
00:04:36,350 --> 00:04:40,410
I mean, I was only 15 years old when my
father and mother got a divorce, and I
61
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:44,310
was robbed of having a father when I
really needed one.
62
00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:49,210
I mean, how could two intelligent people
break up their marriage over some silly
63
00:04:49,210 --> 00:04:50,210
little affair?
64
00:04:54,350 --> 00:04:54,909
I don't understand.
65
00:04:54,910 --> 00:04:57,770
You see, I was only 15 years old. Hey,
Ben. Ben?
66
00:04:58,350 --> 00:04:59,350
Ben, do you mind?
67
00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:00,750
Oh, sorry.
68
00:05:00,850 --> 00:05:03,950
Look, I'm almost finished. If I could
just get someone to hold this.
69
00:05:04,310 --> 00:05:05,850
Yeah, okay. All right, all right. I'll
hold it.
70
00:05:08,570 --> 00:05:09,970
You're holding it? Yeah, I'm holding it.
Yeah.
71
00:05:10,530 --> 00:05:15,290
John, all this happened such a long time
ago. I know it happened a long time
72
00:05:15,290 --> 00:05:17,350
ago. Don't you think you should just let
go?
73
00:05:17,670 --> 00:05:19,010
No, Louise, it's not that.
74
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:30,820
You stopped holding it, didn't you?
75
00:05:32,620 --> 00:05:34,720
Well, wait until you need a favor
someday.
76
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:37,560
Hi, Ben.
77
00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:38,700
Ben. Ben.
78
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,320
My main man.
79
00:05:42,580 --> 00:05:44,080
You live alone, right?
80
00:05:44,420 --> 00:05:45,420
How'd you like a roommate?
81
00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:48,240
Well, I could use someone to help out
with the rent.
82
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:52,200
Ben, get real. I just spent my rent
money on a new Porsche.
83
00:05:54,260 --> 00:05:55,260
Okay.
84
00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,040
Well, then you can let me use the car
every other night.
85
00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:00,980
I like babes.
86
00:06:02,540 --> 00:06:03,880
Have you got a garage where you live?
87
00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:05,460
No. No?
88
00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:10,760
No. You expect me to park my car on the
street and my chrome rims wouldn't last
89
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:11,760
30 seconds?
90
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,900
Don't worry about it, Ben. Maybe John
will let me move in with him.
91
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,860
Okay, but I wouldn't ask him right now.
He's really stressed out.
92
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:24,500
I just found out that his dad had an
affair with some waitress when John was
93
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:25,500
kid.
94
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,840
Why does everything always happen to me?
95
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:37,560
How the hell did you afford a car like
that? Oh, simple money management, John.
96
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,120
I robbed Peter to pay Porsche.
97
00:06:58,410 --> 00:07:02,090
Hey, John, you got a garage in this
building, right? Yeah, but it's just for
98
00:07:02,090 --> 00:07:03,830
tenants, so you forget about it. Okay,
okay.
99
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:05,910
Hey, buddy, come on.
100
00:07:06,130 --> 00:07:09,150
Come on, come on. We gotta moose up and
move out.
101
00:07:10,370 --> 00:07:13,170
Not going anywhere tonight, Kirk. I had
a rough day.
102
00:07:13,470 --> 00:07:15,570
Oh, no? What happened?
103
00:07:15,790 --> 00:07:18,430
I just found out something very
disturbing about my father.
104
00:07:18,850 --> 00:07:23,410
Your father? Yeah, so if you don't mind,
I would like to be alone tonight so
105
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:24,730
that I could sort things out.
106
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:28,570
Well, John, if you need someone to talk
to, I want you to know I'm here. I don't
107
00:07:28,570 --> 00:07:31,510
care how long it takes. A week, a month,
a year. All right, all right, Kirk.
108
00:07:31,710 --> 00:07:33,510
What do you want? You want to borrow my
apartment?
109
00:07:33,730 --> 00:07:34,930
What? Hey, hey, hey!
110
00:07:36,030 --> 00:07:37,770
I take Umbridge.
111
00:07:39,910 --> 00:07:42,430
Your apartment is the furthest thing
from my mind.
112
00:07:47,570 --> 00:07:48,970
Why is he with everybody?
113
00:07:49,310 --> 00:07:53,070
Every time I try and do something nice,
they act like I'm after something.
114
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,880
Not everybody, just the people who know
you. Hey, John!
115
00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:01,560
Kirk, there is no way you could possibly
help. You haven't got the faintest idea
116
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,640
what I'm going through about my father.
Oh, yeah, right. Like you're the only
117
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:07,020
one who ever learned something
disturbing about his old man.
118
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:10,480
You don't know what disturbing is. Let
me tell you something, Mr.
119
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:11,740
Smart Guy.
120
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,740
My father never said a kind word to me
his entire life.
121
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,360
He resented me from the day I was born.
And do you want to know why?
122
00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:22,500
Why? I wouldn't tell you if you got down
on your knees and...
123
00:08:24,430 --> 00:08:27,070
Now, if you'll excuse me, I would like
to go. Yes, sit yourself.
124
00:08:30,530 --> 00:08:31,630
Okay, I'll tell you.
125
00:08:33,970 --> 00:08:38,730
My father resented me because my mother
cheated on him.
126
00:08:39,350 --> 00:08:40,610
Yeah? Yeah.
127
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:45,050
She got pregnant.
128
00:08:46,510 --> 00:08:47,510
And...
129
00:08:53,740 --> 00:08:55,200
I sprang from the loins of a stranger.
130
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:00,620
John, I'm a love child.
131
00:09:03,140 --> 00:09:10,020
Gee, I'm, uh... I had no idea. I've gone
through my entire miserable life not
132
00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:11,760
knowing who my real father is.
133
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:17,800
All she told me was he was some guy from
upstate New York, some town called
134
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:21,260
Bingham... Oh, Banghamton?
135
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,060
Binghamton! That's it.
136
00:09:23,500 --> 00:09:24,640
Well, that's where I'm from, remember?
137
00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:25,719
John, please.
138
00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,400
We're talking about me here, remember?
139
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,860
Anyway, she said he was some sort of
carpenter.
140
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:34,320
Carpenter? Yeah.
141
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,220
He worked with wood or something.
142
00:09:40,540 --> 00:09:43,520
My father was a cabinetmaker. Please.
143
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:45,080
Come on.
144
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:50,500
No, no, I mean, this is really... This
is crazy. My mother just told me today
145
00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:51,980
that my father had had an affair.
146
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,400
No.
147
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,840
No, no, no, I mean it, yeah. With some
woman in Scranton.
148
00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:58,500
Scranton?
149
00:09:58,820 --> 00:10:00,480
Why would anyone go to Scranton?
150
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,500
I couldn't wait to grow up and get the
hell out of there.
151
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,200
You lived in Scranton?
152
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:11,940
Yeah. In an apartment above the diner my
parents sold.
153
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:13,800
Diner?
154
00:10:15,180 --> 00:10:17,060
This is so crazy.
155
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:18,500
What?
156
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:23,080
Um, um, your mother wouldn't buy any...
157
00:10:24,650 --> 00:10:28,530
Chance could have been a waitress, would
she? A waitress?
158
00:10:28,930 --> 00:10:29,930
My mother?
159
00:10:30,790 --> 00:10:33,810
John, she'd be very angry to hear you
say that.
160
00:10:34,070 --> 00:10:36,910
She happened to be the head waitress.
161
00:10:39,710 --> 00:10:41,430
This is really strange.
162
00:10:42,310 --> 00:10:43,770
What? No.
163
00:10:45,430 --> 00:10:46,670
No, it can't be.
164
00:10:46,870 --> 00:10:49,570
What? The coincidences. What?
165
00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:54,200
Coincidences. Your mother, a waitress in
Scranton, having an affair with a man
166
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:57,600
from Binghamton. And my father, a man
from Binghamton, having an affair with a
167
00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:58,640
waitress in Scranton.
168
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,600
What are you getting at? What am I
getting at?
169
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,640
Read between the lines.
170
00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:09,020
John, I have a pull that you could even
suggest such a thing.
171
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,960
Yeah, you're right, you're right.
172
00:11:12,460 --> 00:11:13,940
I'm not even making any sense.
173
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:22,280
They were in the early 60s. I mean, you
weren't even born until 61. Yep, that
174
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:23,280
would be the early 60s.
175
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,020
Oh, my God.
176
00:11:26,940 --> 00:11:28,760
I don't know what you're after, Lacey.
177
00:11:29,180 --> 00:11:32,920
I don't know why you're trying to worm
your way into my bloodline, but you can
178
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,120
just forget it.
179
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:54,960
to do.
180
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:58,940
Well, I just wouldn't call him anymore.
181
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:04,840
Boy, I wish I knew about this group when
Tina and I split up. Tina was your
182
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,100
wife? Fiance.
183
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,900
At least she was until I found out she
was sleeping with my best friend Smitty.
184
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:13,820
After that, I don't know, we kind of
drifted apart.
185
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:16,640
Oh, you poor thing.
186
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:18,160
Did this happen recently?
187
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,620
No, no. It was back when I was a forest
ranger.
188
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:25,090
One day, I got done doing all of my
forest stuff.
189
00:12:26,450 --> 00:12:29,870
You know, your basic checking trees for
parasitic carnivores.
190
00:12:30,110 --> 00:12:31,110
Uh -huh.
191
00:12:33,550 --> 00:12:37,890
Well, anyway, I get home, and I find
Tina in bed with my best friend Smitty.
192
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,770
So you just walked out on her?
193
00:12:40,070 --> 00:12:41,090
Oh, you bet I did.
194
00:12:42,910 --> 00:12:46,510
Well, actually, I hung around till they
finished so I could get my engagement
195
00:12:46,510 --> 00:12:47,510
ring back.
196
00:12:48,930 --> 00:12:51,670
But anyway, there it is.
197
00:12:52,490 --> 00:12:54,010
You guys have got yourselves an air
conditioner.
198
00:12:54,610 --> 00:12:56,250
Well, is it okay to turn it on?
199
00:12:57,850 --> 00:12:58,850
I wouldn't.
200
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,010
Mrs. Philbit, where is everybody?
201
00:13:18,510 --> 00:13:19,830
Well, I guess they left.
202
00:13:21,310 --> 00:13:22,139
Oh, great.
203
00:13:22,140 --> 00:13:23,140
Just right.
204
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:24,620
I've got to talk to somebody.
205
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:28,360
Mrs. Philbert, Mrs. Philbert, Mrs.
Philbert, please. I have to talk to
206
00:13:28,540 --> 00:13:29,540
Would you mind?
207
00:13:30,340 --> 00:13:33,140
Please. Uh, Mrs. Philbert?
208
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,460
I think I'm losing my mind.
209
00:13:38,020 --> 00:13:42,020
Now, I keep telling myself everything's
going to be okay, but I just can't seem
210
00:13:42,020 --> 00:13:43,060
to get myself to believe it.
211
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:47,800
Oh, I've been through crises before, but
this is frightening. This is
212
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:52,420
terrifying. Mrs. Philbert, there is good
reason to believe that Kirk Morris is
213
00:13:52,420 --> 00:13:56,580
my... Related to me.
214
00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:01,820
I found this out. I didn't want to
believe it. So I just went to see Kirk's
215
00:14:01,820 --> 00:14:06,460
mother. And I actually had the gall to
ask her if she'd had an affair with my
216
00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:08,360
father. She did.
217
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:10,300
Kirk is.
218
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:11,980
We are.
219
00:14:12,420 --> 00:14:15,960
Mrs. Philbert, do you understand what
I'm telling you? Kirk Morris is my...
220
00:14:24,190 --> 00:14:28,770
I'm sorry to trouble you with this, but
I just had to talk to somebody about it.
221
00:14:29,430 --> 00:14:31,690
Please, tell me what you're thinking.
222
00:14:32,470 --> 00:14:34,970
I'm wondering where the hell everybody
went.
223
00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:52,150
What the hell is this?
224
00:14:53,970 --> 00:14:54,970
I'm sorry, John.
225
00:14:55,430 --> 00:14:56,430
What's on your mind?
226
00:14:56,530 --> 00:14:59,070
What is going on? How did you get in
here? I bribed the super.
227
00:14:59,370 --> 00:15:01,230
What? By the way, you owe him 20 bucks.
228
00:15:02,270 --> 00:15:06,290
John, what is all your stuff doing here?
Hey, John, John, John, John. I talked
229
00:15:06,290 --> 00:15:07,290
to my mom today.
230
00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,530
She said it was true.
231
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:11,170
Hey.
232
00:15:12,810 --> 00:15:14,410
You think you're living here with me?
233
00:15:14,670 --> 00:15:17,590
Don't you think Dad would have wanted it
that way? Now, look, look.
234
00:15:18,070 --> 00:15:19,090
You may be my...
235
00:15:19,980 --> 00:15:21,920
But you are not living here. You
understand that?
236
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:25,360
Already it's starting. Sibling rivalry.
I love her.
237
00:15:26,540 --> 00:15:27,540
Oh,
238
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,760
John.
239
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:33,540
Oh, it would have been great growing up
with a brother like you. I mean, we
240
00:15:33,540 --> 00:15:35,640
always would have been there for each
other. Close.
241
00:15:37,060 --> 00:15:38,800
Now, look, you are not living here.
242
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:40,120
Now, let's get that straight.
243
00:15:40,380 --> 00:15:45,120
Oh, sure. Nice. Just get me out on the
streets. I get it. Like father, like
244
00:15:45,630 --> 00:15:49,150
One brings me into the world, the other
one throws me out. All right, all right.
245
00:15:49,830 --> 00:15:52,010
A week, but then you're out of here.
Thanks, bro.
246
00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:56,630
Now, if you don't mind, I have to go
take an enormous amount of aspirin.
247
00:15:58,810 --> 00:16:01,390
Oh, I'll get it, mon frere.
248
00:16:04,070 --> 00:16:05,070
Frere Jacques.
249
00:16:07,630 --> 00:16:11,410
Mom. What did you do with my social
security check?
250
00:16:13,370 --> 00:16:17,450
What? Like you think I would steal my
own mother's Social Security, Jack?
251
00:16:17,670 --> 00:16:19,130
In a New York minute.
252
00:16:20,390 --> 00:16:26,030
Such a kidder. Mom, I was just holding
it for you so it wouldn't get lost.
253
00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:27,570
Hand it over.
254
00:16:27,750 --> 00:16:29,210
And I'm not kidding.
255
00:16:30,910 --> 00:16:35,010
Hey, Kirk, what did you do with Mom?
John, you've met Mumsie, right?
256
00:16:35,270 --> 00:16:37,650
Oh, yeah. It's nice to see you again,
Mrs. Morris.
257
00:16:41,390 --> 00:16:43,030
I'll see you in the kitchen for a
minute. Oh, yes.
258
00:16:44,050 --> 00:16:46,070
Mom, I'll be right back. Don't go away.
259
00:16:49,110 --> 00:16:52,630
What the hell are you doing bringing
your mother over here? I live here,
260
00:16:52,730 --> 00:16:55,210
remember? Well, I don't care. You've got
to get her out of here because my
261
00:16:55,210 --> 00:16:56,270
mother's on her way over here.
262
00:16:56,610 --> 00:16:59,190
Gee, I wish you'd checked with me first.
263
00:17:00,070 --> 00:17:03,410
Listen, you get her out of here or
there's going to be bloodshed. Yours.
264
00:17:04,430 --> 00:17:06,290
You've got a lot to learn about
brotherly love.
265
00:17:08,609 --> 00:17:09,609
Hey, Mom.
266
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,660
How about I take you for a ride in my
new Porsche, huh? I don't want to go for
267
00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:13,800
ride in your Porsche. Oh, come on.
268
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,220
On second thought, maybe you'd rather
see the bedroom.
269
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,240
Oh, Johnny.
270
00:17:23,319 --> 00:17:24,359
Johnny. Yeah.
271
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:29,940
Johnny, I feel so bad. All those
horrible things I said about your
272
00:17:29,940 --> 00:17:31,960
yeah. You must have been depressed all
week.
273
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:37,340
I didn't mean to turn you against him.
Your father was a wonderful man. I know.
274
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:42,460
It happened a long time ago. It's time
to let bygones be bygones. Rhymer.
275
00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:44,260
After all, it wasn't his fault.
276
00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:46,420
It was that bitch.
277
00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:53,600
You've got to find a way of putting this
behind you. I know, but it's so hard.
278
00:17:55,060 --> 00:17:56,800
John, this place is a mess.
279
00:17:57,460 --> 00:17:59,160
Did you get married again?
280
00:17:59,940 --> 00:18:03,790
No, no, no. It's a long story. I'll tell
you about it later. Listen, Ma. Well,
281
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:06,730
anyway, I brought you a little peace
offering.
282
00:18:06,990 --> 00:18:10,050
Yeah, thanks, Ma, but maybe a little
later. Hey.
283
00:18:10,910 --> 00:18:11,910
Wow.
284
00:18:12,430 --> 00:18:14,350
I haven't seen this picture in years.
285
00:18:14,810 --> 00:18:15,810
You were nine.
286
00:18:16,270 --> 00:18:20,290
You looked so cute in your little league
uniform standing next to your dad.
287
00:18:20,810 --> 00:18:21,930
No, Mom, I was eight.
288
00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:23,150
You were nine.
289
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,230
Oh, I was eight. I remember it
distinctly.
290
00:18:25,790 --> 00:18:27,270
Because, well, to tell you the truth,
291
00:18:28,070 --> 00:18:30,490
it wasn't a very happy day for me. I,
uh...
292
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,520
I hit a home run and I looked up in the
stands and everybody was standing up and
293
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:37,240
cheering except my dad.
294
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,560
I was really hurt that day. Wait, you're
right.
295
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,220
You were eight.
296
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:47,280
But you mustn't mind your dad not
standing up. That was the day he had his
297
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,280
vasectomy.
298
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:51,440
Oh.
299
00:18:52,220 --> 00:18:55,700
So that was the reason he sat through
the whole game with a snow cone in his
300
00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:56,700
lap.
301
00:19:01,159 --> 00:19:04,080
My father had a vasectomy when I was
eight?
302
00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:05,580
Yes.
303
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:11,140
My father had a vasectomy when I was
eight?
304
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:14,200
My father had a vasectomy when I was
eight?
305
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:18,020
My father had a vasectomy when I was
eight? He had a vasectomy when I was
306
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:19,320
Well,
307
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,700
why shouldn't I be? My brother just
died.
308
00:19:24,020 --> 00:19:28,020
I'll explain it later. Over lunch. Come
on. No, John. No, no. I'm meeting
309
00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:29,020
Nettie.
310
00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:33,240
Saturday we get together and have a
couple of margaritas. Don't you hate it,
311
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,960
Nettie? I do, until I've had a couple of
margaritas.
312
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,500
Okay, Kirk, you can come out now.
313
00:19:43,780 --> 00:19:44,780
You and Mom V.
314
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,200
Is the course clear?
315
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,440
Oh, everything is very clear.
316
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,700
Okay. I was just going to take Mom out
for a little ride in my car.
317
00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:56,020
Oh, yeah? Oh, go ahead.
318
00:19:56,340 --> 00:19:58,520
Meanwhile, I'll stay here and help you
unpack your things.
319
00:19:58,860 --> 00:19:59,860
Okay?
320
00:20:00,970 --> 00:20:02,250
Aces are what, Mom?
321
00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:06,610
Hey, where should I be? I just found out
my father had had a vasectomy.
322
00:20:07,270 --> 00:20:08,550
Yeah, when I was eight.
323
00:20:09,110 --> 00:20:11,350
Really? Yeah, when I was eight.
324
00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:13,970
I told you it wouldn't work.
325
00:20:14,370 --> 00:20:16,450
Yeah, just a minute. You know, I can
understand him.
326
00:20:16,670 --> 00:20:18,950
But why would you lie to me about a
thing like this?
327
00:20:19,350 --> 00:20:20,410
Use your head.
328
00:20:20,930 --> 00:20:24,350
If he didn't move in with you, he would
have moved in with me.
329
00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:45,320
Well, you know, I never actually said
you were my brother, John. I said you
330
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:49,360
my bro. And in Swahili, bro means man
with dark hair.
331
00:20:51,420 --> 00:20:53,600
You're not mad at me, are you? I was.
332
00:20:53,980 --> 00:20:54,980
Yeah, I didn't know.
333
00:20:55,060 --> 00:20:58,400
Hey, I'm just going to put your clothes
where you're going to be sleeping.
334
00:20:58,720 --> 00:20:59,720
Okay?
335
00:21:09,290 --> 00:21:12,870
This is Dear John's Isabella Hoffman.
The one -to -one club is moving to a new
336
00:21:12,870 --> 00:21:16,690
night in time. So don't miss the season
premiere of Dear John, Friday, September
337
00:21:16,690 --> 00:21:19,470
20th at 9, 8 Central, only on NBC.
338
00:21:19,870 --> 00:21:23,570
Then, from the creators of Cheers, it's
the hilarious season premiere of the new
339
00:21:23,570 --> 00:21:26,130
NBC comedy, Flesh and Blood, Friday.
340
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,760
So, Kate, meet any good -looking men in
the denny section.
341
00:22:03,300 --> 00:22:06,320
Oh, Louise, you know, I'm beginning to
think that this field trip wasn't such a
342
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:07,319
great idea.
343
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,260
Now, why don't we go get Mary, Beth, and
the guys and head on back to the
344
00:22:10,260 --> 00:22:11,260
community center?
345
00:22:11,420 --> 00:22:12,500
Oh, poppycock.
346
00:22:13,340 --> 00:22:18,680
According to this article in Cosmo, a
supermarket is one of the top ten places
347
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:21,260
in the city to meet decent single
people.
348
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:25,880
Well, not this supermarket.
349
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:30,380
I've covered every inch of this place,
from the frozen peas to the liquid
350
00:22:30,380 --> 00:22:34,780
detergent, and I am telling you, there
are no available men here. Trust me.
28053
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof