All language subtitles for dear_john_s03e21_matthew_and_the_baby

So for the past three nights... I

haven't had more than an hour's sleep.
As soon as I get to

bed, the little tyke will wake me up
with his coughing. I go in, give Nigel

medicine, rock him back to sleep, tiptoe
back to bed.

And as soon as I got there, I... have a
coughing fit, which of course would

wake Nigel up and the whole thing would
start all over again. Now the little

stink has fired and I'm a wreck.

Men.

I was talking about my child.

I know, and I was thinking about men.

Now, why don't you let me take Nigel
tomorrow and you can spend the whole day

taking care of yourself?

Oh, Kate, I wouldn't dream of imposing.

Oh, come on. I love Nigel. It'll be like
being a mommy for a day.

Well, all right. Thanks, Kate.

Oh, I just love babies.

They're so adorable and cuddly.

I just can't wait to have one of my own.

But, Kate, I must warn you.

Children can be a real nuisance. The
crying, the chasing after them, the

changing their diapers, the wiping the
drool off their chins.

Well, maybe I'll just get a puppy.

Dear John is filmed before a studio
audience.

So, they decided to promote me.

You're looking at the new equipment
supervisor down at the Lincoln Tunnel.

Now every time the exact change machine
gets jammed, it's my job to go over and

kick it.

God day, I am totally stressed out.

Well, I guess that's just the price you
pay when you're the head honcho of a

major corporation.

Oh, God, of all nights to show up early.

My card?

Cuisine by Kirk Catering. Kirk Morris,
Chief Executive Officer.

about running a catering business.

I did my homework.

There's only two things you gotta know.

No person ejects and keep the clam dip
out of the sun.

So what kind of cuisine will you
specialize in?

Italian, French, Cajun? We can do
anything. That's why I hired an

chef. She'll do whatever I tell her. If
I say flambe, she says, how hot?

Hey, folks.

If you think I'm...

got another think coming. Now get your
butt out here.

Well, looks like somebody just lost
their Christmas bonus.

Oh, Louise, would you like a little more
tea with honey?

Oh, thanks, Kate.

I better get over this cold soon. I want
to be well when Nigel gives me the flu.

when I just couldn't shake. My doctor
made me spend four whole days in bed.

I had a doctor who made me do that.

Best optometrist I ever had.

And believe me, I've had a few.

I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist.

Spending the weekend with Matthew, are
we? Yeah, I just can't wait to see that

kid. I had to cancel our plans last
weekend.

That explains your shopping spree at
Guilty Father's, are us.

Oh, no, no, there's no guilty here. I
just got him a few things he needs.

Like six cans of silly string?

Different people have different needs.

So, John, not to pry, but how...

Paddling the news that Wendy is having
your baby.

Fine, fine.

Why do you people ask me the same thing
every week?

I have no problem with Matthew.

It's all a big deal. My ex -wife is
pregnant, and I'm the father.

And you don't think that's unusual?

Well, maybe a bit.

A bit?

John, this would be unusual on Geraldo.

Not really.

Yesterday he had on a set of Siamese
twins who were born a week apart.

unusual part.

One's a Virgo and one's a Libra.

Look, I told you, there is really no
problem.

Matthew's a perfectly happy kid.

He can't wait to have a little baby
brother or sister that he can pick on.

Believe me, he's looking forward to this
baby more than I am.

Don't tell me America isn't the land of
opportunity.

Denise just got off the phone with this
guy whose daughter is getting married

next week. And get this. Their caterer
just got sucked into a pasta machine.

Did we lock down or what?

What is he talking about?

Oh, you've missed the latest, John. Our
very own Kirk.

and Denise have started a catering
company.

Oh, Kirk, you can't be serious. You and
Denise are actually going to cater a

wedding? Jack, don't worry. We're not
going to risk giving our paying

indigestion. That's why next Sunday
we're going to try out our recipes on a

group of people who don't really matter.

So what time's good for you guys?

You are nice.

Real nice.

Okay? I guess I'll just go tell Denise
that her so -called friends have turned

their backs on her.

You people should be ashamed of
yourselves.

That poor woman is trying to work her
way out of the ghetto.

Kirk, she lives across the street from
me.

Enough said.

Okay, I'm going to go now.

I am going to go break that poor woman's
heart.

I know if the situation were reversed
and we needed Kirk's help and support,

that... Well, maybe we should go anyway.

Oh, all right. For Denise's sake, I'll
go.

If I'm not on my deathbed.

You're not having anything to do with
the cooking, are you, Kirk? I'm not

lifting a ladle.

Okay, tell Denise I'll be there.

Molly has to work, but you can count me
in. Uh, listen, Kirk, um...

I would really like to be there, but I'm
afraid I'm busy.

Wild weekend, huh, John? No, no, no,
nothing like that. No, I'm going to

it with my son.

Oh, well, I hate to be the one to break
it to you, John, but for you, that is a

wild weekend.

Oh, okay, and you guys, remember,
there's going to be plenty of food

when you show up at Denise's, be good
and hungry.

I don't mean to be rude, Kirk, but
you're not having turtle soup, are you?

didn't plan on it. Good.

If my turtle smells out on my breath,
he'll give me that look again.

Dad.

Hey, Matthew, what are you doing?

Conservation, trying to save the planet.
Oh, yes, right. Thanks for reminding

me. Weren't you always the one who told
me not to waste water?

Yeah, but this is hot water. They tell
you to save cold water.

You never heard anybody tell you to save
hot water.

Now what are you doing?

Getting ready to shave.

Shave what?

You've got nothing but peach fuss.

I don't care what it is. Nina says my
beard tickles her when we slow dance.

Oh, Nina.

Who is this Nina?

I main squeeze.

Thirteen years old?

You got a main squeeze?

Don't start it. No, no, no, no, no. I
can't help it. I'm just proud of you.

When I was thirteen years old, my main
squeeze was a pimple.

Oh, you think that's gross? How about
this?

I used to have a lot of fun with your

grandfather while he was shaving.

Yeah, we used to have this argument over
who the best center fielder was, Mantle

or Maze.

I'd say Mantle, he'd say Maze.

Maze, Mantle, Mantle, Maze.

Your grandmother settled the argument.
She'd say, shut up!

I'll always remember those times.

You'll always remember these times, too.

What?

Here, get over here, you tiny little
person.

My eye!

My eye!

Oh, oh, Matthew, I'm really sorry. Are
you okay?

That's us!

I give up!

I give up!

Spider -Man!

Yeah!

Dad, don't make me go home. I want to
stay here with you.

Hey, come on. Why would you want to live
here?

It's a cramped one -bedroom apartment
with an old couch and a tiny kitchen.

Air conditioning is always going on the
blink.

The elevator is always getting stuck
every other day.

Hey, wait a minute. Why am I living
here?

Dad. Come on.

What about your friends at home?

Aren't you going to miss your friends?

What about Nina, your main squeeze?

There is no Nina.

I just wanted you to let me shave.

Oh.

Look, Matthew.

I know we had a great weekend together.

I don't blame you for not wanting it to
end, but... As much as this hurts to

tell you this, it's just not possible
for you to live here full time.

Why not?

Well, for one thing, I got to work every
day.

I can take care of myself.

Matthew, I know it's rough for you at
home now with your mother being pregnant

and all.

She may get a little, you know, cranky
and she may lose her patience, but she

really needs you there.

Really.

You understand what I'm saying?

Yeah, sure. I get it, Dad.

Good.

Okay, get dressed.

I'm going to take you for the best lunch
you ever had.

Nothing healthy, I promise.

God, you're home. We need to borrow your
kitchen.

Denise, I thought you were cooking at
your place. Didn't you hear the siren?

had this small grease fire.

Kirk's cone fell on one of the burners.

Wait, wait, wait, Kirk, Kirk. This is
not a good time.

All right.

Oh, guys, make yourselves at home.
Soup's on in 20 minutes. No, no, no,

Kirk. 20 minutes?

You told me to show up hungry.

Ralph is so excited about this gourmet
brunch. He hasn't eaten in two days. A

cracker wouldn't kill you to give me one
lousy...

I'm getting my appetite back.

Kate taking Nigel yesterday was just the
rest I needed. I feel smashing.

Yeah, but Louise.

Hot milk, everybody.

Yeah, duck, duck.

Kate, how are you feeling?

Better.

I just caught a little sniffle from
Nigel yesterday, but it's nothing.

Nothing? This could be walking
pneumonia.

You should be at home right now, in bed.

All of you.

this close to getting a radish.

John, is it okay if we borrow your,
uh... Never mind.

Oh, why me?

So, Kate, tell me. How was it
babysitting Nigel yesterday?

Oh, you know, I never realized how much
energy a two -year -old has.

I just put him down for a second. He was
off and running. That...

Like when he spilled his grape juice on
my new white rug.

And he just laughed and laughed and
laughed.

Oh, I know that love.

Well, sounds like you two had quite a
day.

Oh, no, it was fun.

Well, okay, the occasional mishap here
and there, but that's to be expected

you're dealing with kids, right?

Then how about taking Nigel again next
Saturday?

I'd love to, but I'm having my tubes
tied.

Why don't you say something sooner,
John? Guys, John's having a little

with his kids, so he'd like us out of
here. Yeah, thanks for understanding,

Chris. So when I start serving, eat
fast.

I'm getting my watch for an olive.

Chuck, what's wrong with Matthew?

Oh, uh, Wendy's been so preoccupied with
her pregnancy that she's been

neglecting him. So now he wants to move
in here with me.

What'd you tell him? Well, I had to tell
him no.

So now he's back there sulking.

John, you can't let him stay in the
bedroom all alone sulking.

I don't know why not. I do it every
night.

Yeah, I better go check on him.

So, pal, we feeling better? Matthew!

Matthew, get off the fire escape.

What do you think you're doing?

You could get hurt.

Was it to you you don't want me here?

Matthew, I know you're upset with your
mother, but that's no reason for you to

run away.

I'm not mad at Mom. I'm mad at you. I
hate you.

Matthew, what do I do?

Matthew, open the door.

I want to talk to you.

Say something.

Go away.

Okay, that's a start.

I turn it off first.

I couldn't help myself. That green glop
spinning around in there looks so good.

Are you ready for this?

It's not Wendy Matthews mad at. It's me.

Oh, I'm happy.

Did he say why he's mad at you? No. He
won't even talk to me. He locked himself

in the bathroom. He won't come out.

Matthew, please let me in.

Oh, if you won't talk to me, you won't
talk to anybody.

Yo, Matt.

Scarp.

Just when I thought I couldn't feel any
worse.

John, maybe it would be... Maybe it's
best

if we leave.

Maybe it's best if we leave.

Wait, now we have to leave.

I gotta call their stupid catering...
company, McFammon.

Don't you think one of us should go in
there and tell Denise that we're going

have to take a rain check on the porch?
Yeah, yeah, I'll tell her. I'll tell

her. I'll tell her.

She's just got to understand that this
is just not a good day.

And if she can't understand that, she's
just going to have to live with it.

Uh, Denise?

Wow. I had no idea this catering jazz
was so tough. I've been up since six

morning working on this meal. I've been
slicing, I've been dicing, I've been

chopping, but it's worth it. I just
can't...

to watch you people enjoy the best meal
you've ever had.

Now, what did you want, John?

The dinner plates are in the cabinet by
the fridge.

Thanks.

John?

Me and pork.

Bedroom. Pronto.

All right, now, tell me, what's going on
with my kid?

Relax. He's fine. He just wants me to
represent him in this matter.

Here.

Sign this.

My son wants me to sign a piece of
toilet paper and you say he's fine?

It's a prenatal agreement.

Prenatal agreement?

A list of demands guaranteeing that all
the rights and privileges of the party

of the first pot, that's Matthew, will
remain intact after the birth of the

party of the second pot, that's the
baby.

that resulted from the party that you
and Wendy had.

What are you talking about? What rights
and privileges?

The right.

The right to see you on weekends. The
right to have you at all his soccer

The right for you to loan $100 to his
Uncle Kirk at any time.

Okay, so the third one's negotiable.

Matt, we have to talk.

Alone. I would advise against it.

I go, Matt, if you need me, I'll be
close by.

All right, Matt, help me out here, will
you?

I thought you were okay about the baby.

You and Mom are divorced. You're not
supposed to be having another baby.

Yeah, I know. But this is something very
special that your mother wanted.

Miss Shee, it really meant a lot to her
that you have a real brother or sister.

Understand?

This is so weird.

Yeah, I know it's weird.

Your mother knows it's weird. We all
know it's weird.

Look, I'm not going to kid you.

I'm going to have feelings for this
baby.

I mean, it's only natural.

It's part of me.

But there's one thing I can guarantee
you.

Those feelings will never, ever get
between you and me.

You mean it? Yes, of course I do.

Then sign this.

I can't. Why not?

Well, I'm only human.

I mean, I can't promise never to miss
one of your soccer games.

Or promise... That we'll never cancel a
weekend?

Or promise that I'll always show up at
one of your school plays?

Boy, for a pep talk, this really bites.

Matthew, I can promise you that I will
always love you.

Always.

That's the best I can do.

You ought to be more careful with that
thing.

Come on, let's go pig out.

Hey, everybody. Look who's here.

Oh, hi, man.

So, how are things?

Better. Yeah.

We had a little chat.

Boy, Matthew, that food smells
delicious.

Ooh, it'll be out any minute. Kirk just
went in to help Denise serve.

What?

To the deli.

Why? They said they're going to wash it
off.