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00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:04,370
Bye. Bye.
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How did you find out?
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Your editor left a message.
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How could you, Frank?
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How could you steal my poems? I'm sorry,
John, but I had no choice.
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She wanted to see my new work.
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But, well, the muse has been refusing to
put out for me lately, and I had to
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turn in something or I wouldn't have
gotten the advance.
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So you resort to this? John, I've got
three ex -wives.
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I've got five kids I'm helping to
support.
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They're great kids.
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Here, I got some pictures.
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Maybe later.
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Look, look, I only did it to buy some
time until I started to write again.
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I never would have published your poems.
Oh, I'm supposed to believe that? Of
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course. Why should I?
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Because your poems just are not very
good.
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Oh, they're just not very good.
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Ah. I see. Right. Well.
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Apparently, your editor doesn't seem to
share that opinion.
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She seems to think that my poems are
incredible.
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She said she cried when the lonely man
found the German shepherd.
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Cried, Frank.
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She said that?
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I really wish you would go.
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Okay. Okay. I'll go quietly.
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John, if it makes you feel any better,
I've had a lot of students over the
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years. Some good, some bad, some
indifferent.
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But you're the only one I ever stole
from.
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I thought you'd be so happy with your
husband home all the time now.
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Well, I love him. I just can't stand
living with him.
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Being a merchant marine, he's usually
out to sea. Then he's home a few days
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he's gone. It's wonderful.
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But now we're spending all this time
together, and I realize I don't know
35
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man.
36
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I'm sharing my bed with a total
stranger.
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I should be so lucky.
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We got a bed, and all he wants to do is
talk.
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Now that he's home, he says we have
plenty of time for the other stuff.
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Oh, Louise, I've got a serious problem.
41
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So do I.
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Sorry, Denise. Can you go talk to your
own group leader?
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I am the group leader.
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Oh, right. Then go talk to yourself.
45
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What is it, George?
46
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Everyone, George has something he needs
to talk about. Yes, yes. What happened?
47
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I, um... God, this is very painful.
48
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You all know how I felt about Frank
Hollander.
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but he stole my poems.
50
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Oh, thank God!
51
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I think you're missing the key point
here.
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Frank Hollander, the man I trusted and
revered, put his name on my poems and
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gave them to his editor.
54
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Why would he do that?
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For the money.
56
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You know what really gets me?
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First he has the nerve to tell me that
my poems are no good, and then he turns
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around and sells them as his own.
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How much did Frank get for them? It's
not about the money.
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How much? Kirk, it's not about the
money. How much?
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$15 ,000, but it's not about... God,
that's a lot of money.
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But it's not about the money. Right,
right. It's about trust. It's about
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integrity. It's about... God, that is a
lot of money.
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John. Right, right. It's about
respecting somebody.
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Wanting to live by his words, his ideas,
and then finding out that he is a fake.
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Have you told Frank's editor about this?
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No, but I've been thinking about it.
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It's hard to think of anything else.
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I am so confused. I was sitting in front
of the TV last night just going back
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and forth, back and forth.
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Yeah, I know what you mean, John.
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It's all those new cable channels.
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Louise, what do you think?
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It's a tough call.
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Frank did a terrible thing. There's no
question about it, but you obviously
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still have feelings for the man or you
wouldn't be so tall. I know, and it's
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driving me crazy.
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So before you... what to do, just bear
in mind that hurting Frank can hurt you
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as well.
80
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She has a point, John.
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You can destroy his reputation, but do
you really want to see him suffer like
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that? I mean, I don't think any of us
can even imagine what that would feel
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to be publicly exposed.
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It's not that bad.
85
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No, it's not.
86
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And it can leave a deep and lasting
wound.
87
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How would you know?
88
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How would I know?
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I'm glad you asked.
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Funny, I'm already regretting it.
91
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I remember the time I got ripped off.
92
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I had invented the Kirk Army Knife. And
the Swiss stole it from me.
93
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,070
Um, yes, ma 'am?
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I don't mean to be rude, but I think
this is something I have to sort out by
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myself. So I'm going to go home. I'll
see you all next week.
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I feel so badly
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for the show.
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Okay,
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okay. I had something I was going to say
until the end of the meeting, but I
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think you could all use a little
cheering up.
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I got your costumes for tomorrow night's
doo -wop contest.
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What up?
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Don't you expect us to wear that?
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Well, you didn't think I'd let you go
out there naked.
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No woman with any self -respect would
wear an outfit like that.
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Here, here.
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That's right.
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That goes for me, too.
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Is this the thanks I get?
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that I not only formed this group, I'm
the lead singer.
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And I make all the decisions. Either you
wear these costumes or you're out.
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I believe we're out.
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Art related.
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That's right.
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Oh, good. Go. Find it.
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Great. You see how far you get without a
lead singer.
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Oh, Ralph.
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I'd love to.
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Buffy, I thought we were friends.
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Yeah, but this isn't between you and me,
Kirk.
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It's between me and Gus.
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A man's got to do up what a man's got to
do up.
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Mr.
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Lacey, I'm Sarah Donnelly. How do you
do? Take a load off.
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Tell me what's on your mind.
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Something about Frank Hollander.
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Uh, yes.
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I, um... Well, um...
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You see, I've known Frank for years. He
was my teacher back in college.
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And, well, you see, the thing is, this
is very difficult.
131
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Then let me help you.
132
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Frank didn't write these poems, did he?
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No, he didn't. How did you know?
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Because Frank Hollander would never be
able to write poems like these.
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Oh, really?
136
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I've been in the poetry racket for
years, and believe me, I know the work
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00:09:03,790 --> 00:09:05,310
literary genius when I see it.
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00:09:06,870 --> 00:09:07,870
Literary genius?
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But these poems are the work of a rank
amateur.
140
00:09:12,390 --> 00:09:14,130
They are yours, aren't they?
141
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I, uh, well, only in the sense that I
wrote them.
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I take it you're not overly fond of
them?
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Mr. Lacey, I bet you look at me and you
think, man, what a cushy job.
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She just sits here all day reading and
passing judgment, thumbs up, thumbs
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Well, you have no idea how much bad
poetry comes through that door and lands
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smack on my desk and I've got to read
it. All of it.
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Every last cliched, overblown,
pretentious, boring word of it.
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Not overly fond of it. They make me want
to scream.
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I don't get it.
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On my answer machine, you said you
thought my poems were fantastic.
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I only said that to protect Frank, so he
wouldn't know I saw through his little
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scam. But you gave him an advance of $15
,000. Because I convinced my publisher
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that eventually he would write his book.
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It just so happened that Frank was my
teacher, too.
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But I care about him.
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What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Oh, come off it. If you really cared
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about Frank, you wouldn't be trying to
hurt him now.
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He'd be trying to understand how much
pain he was in, how desperate he was, so
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desperate he was willing to put his name
on these poems.
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Yes.
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Enough about my poems.
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Look, when a talent like Frank's comes
along, you do everything you can to
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protect it, nourish it.
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You put too much pressure on him, he
could go right back to drinking, which,
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you well know, is the only way he's been
able to write.
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No, I don't know. What the hell are you
talking about?
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Frank Hollander never wrote anything
without booze.
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He stopped drinking two years ago.
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And he hasn't written a word since.
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That is absolutely ridiculous.
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Frank doesn't need liquor to write. Of
course not, but he thinks he does.
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So he does.
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00:11:13,460 --> 00:11:16,280
Well, I'm... I'm sorry, I can't accept
that.
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00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,160
Mr. Lacey.
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00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:21,620
What are you going to do?
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I don't know.
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Something.
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Thanks for your time.
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Oh, I know you don't like my poems, but
I'm still going to write.
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00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,960
So, do you have any constructive
criticism for me?
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You might try drinking.
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00:11:48,810 --> 00:11:52,070
I wonder why I love you like I do.
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00:11:52,870 --> 00:11:56,630
Is it because I think you love me too?
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I wonder why I love you like I do.
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00:12:37,109 --> 00:12:40,150
That was a simple and fun laugh.
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00:12:40,490 --> 00:12:46,830
That was Ralph and, um... Ralph and the
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Louisettes. All right,
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we're going to take a little break right
now. We're going to come back.
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and announce our winner.
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Way to do up. We are in absolute love.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I
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00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,480
have your attention, please? We have a
late entry.
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00:13:06,540 --> 00:13:09,740
So please welcome the New Tones.
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00:14:18,730 --> 00:14:21,750
Baby, I want to go back to the way it
was with us. I want you to be happy
194
00:14:22,010 --> 00:14:25,230
How can we be happy? We've spent too
much time together.
195
00:14:25,710 --> 00:14:26,710
Not anymore.
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00:14:27,330 --> 00:14:29,910
I'm shipping out tomorrow. I'll be gone
for five months.
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00:14:30,150 --> 00:14:33,530
Five months? You'll do that for me? God,
I love you.
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00:14:34,870 --> 00:14:35,870
Come on, baby.
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00:14:35,910 --> 00:14:36,930
Come on, let's go home.
200
00:14:37,150 --> 00:14:40,330
I'm going to put a smile on your face
that's going to last until I get back.
201
00:14:42,710 --> 00:14:46,370
Hey, big deal. Guys, we don't need her.
I can sing lead, right?
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00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:05,400
that the winner of Clancy's doo -wop
contest and $500 in cash goes to Ralph
203
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:06,560
and the Louisettes!
204
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:19,040
Oh, congratulations, everyone! And do
you know the reason we
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00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,880
won? Mary Beth's dress?
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00:15:32,510 --> 00:15:36,790
$100? Well, let's not forget, I sang
lead.
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00:15:37,190 --> 00:15:38,750
That's worth at least $200.
208
00:15:39,970 --> 00:15:45,550
Well, if anyone gets $200, it should be
me. I thought of the name. Wait a
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minute. I discovered Ralph.
210
00:15:47,350 --> 00:15:50,210
Well, I won't settle for less than $100
and a quarter.
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00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:27,310
I got lost five times in your quaint
little Vermont roads here.
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00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:31,050
And everybody I asked for directions
tried to sell me maple syrup.
213
00:16:32,610 --> 00:16:34,510
Well, why didn't you say so?
214
00:16:35,070 --> 00:16:36,070
Well,
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00:16:40,170 --> 00:16:42,710
this certainly is a surprise. You just
happened to be in the neighborhood.
216
00:16:43,230 --> 00:16:46,530
I talked to your editor, Frank. I know
what your problem is. John, if you have
217
00:16:46,530 --> 00:16:51,190
even a modicum of affection left for me,
do me a big favor and get the hell out.
218
00:16:51,390 --> 00:16:52,390
I'm sorry, Frank.
219
00:16:53,130 --> 00:16:56,310
You taught me a lot, but I'm a teacher
too, so tonight I'm going to teach you
220
00:16:56,310 --> 00:16:57,310
something.
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00:16:57,610 --> 00:16:59,990
I'm going to call it a business trip so
I can deduct my expenses.
222
00:17:01,490 --> 00:17:03,830
And just what do you propose to teach
me?
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00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:06,530
That you can write a poem without booze.
224
00:17:06,770 --> 00:17:12,250
But, John, please have a heart. And just
how am I going to accomplish this? By
225
00:17:12,250 --> 00:17:13,810
not leaving here until you do.
226
00:17:14,589 --> 00:17:17,990
And by being so obnoxious that whatever
it is that's keeping you from writing,
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00:17:18,069 --> 00:17:23,020
fear, insecurity... Despair, whatever it
is, it will be mild by comparison.
228
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,660
John, I know you mean well, but you're
wasting your time.
229
00:17:27,020 --> 00:17:30,500
Well, looks like I have no choice. It's
time for me to get obnoxious. You mean
230
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:31,500
you haven't started yet?
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00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:33,260
I have not yet begun to annoy.
232
00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:35,220
I'm going to read you some poetry.
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Bad poetry.
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00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:37,620
My poetry.
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00:17:38,860 --> 00:17:40,480
The Shepherd by the Shore.
236
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:45,540
A lonely man prowls the beach today, a
dark and dismal day. His soul alone in
237
00:17:45,540 --> 00:17:46,540
the great gray sky.
238
00:17:46,740 --> 00:17:47,740
Oh, sky!
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00:17:47,780 --> 00:17:48,779
Oh! beach.
240
00:17:48,780 --> 00:17:49,780
Oh, God.
241
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Come on, Frank. Would you just sit down
and write a poem?
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Come on. Hey, look at that.
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Your old lucky typewriter.
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00:17:57,120 --> 00:18:00,140
I don't know how much great poetry you
wrote on that thing. Come on, Frank.
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00:18:00,420 --> 00:18:04,040
Just sit there and write a poem. John,
I'm going to bed. Could you turn the
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light off on your way out? Yeah, well,
I'm not going anywhere.
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00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:07,380
And you're not going to be able to
sleep.
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00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:10,340
Oh, lonely man. Cry out. Cry out in
vain.
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00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:14,400
He picks up a stick. He tosses it forth.
John, it's been a tooth, but you really
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00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,620
should go now. And what does he hear but
a bark?
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00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:21,320
I'm serious. A German shepherd runs up
with a stick in his mouth.
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00:18:21,540 --> 00:18:22,540
John, go.
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00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,720
You should just sit down and write a
poem. This is my... Oh, Fresh, what are
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00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,160
so afraid of? I want you to go.
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00:18:28,460 --> 00:18:29,379
Oh, dog.
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00:18:29,380 --> 00:18:30,380
Oh, man.
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00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,860
Do I have to call the police? Yeah, go
ahead. Great.
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00:18:33,260 --> 00:18:34,640
I want you to call the police.
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00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:39,100
I want to tell them how you're wasting
your God -given talent and how by not
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00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:43,180
writing, you're making room in the world
for poems like The Shepherd by the
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00:18:43,180 --> 00:18:44,180
Shore.
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00:18:44,980 --> 00:18:46,120
That's a crime, Frank.
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00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:48,950
Or if it isn't, it should be.
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00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:51,410
You're really not going to give up, are
you? No.
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00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:53,870
All right.
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00:18:53,970 --> 00:18:55,750
You want a poem? Sit down. I'll write
you a poem.
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00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,010
You will?
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00:19:00,370 --> 00:19:02,210
And then you'll leave, right? Yes,
right.
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00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,200
I am the leopard who can't change his
spots. This poem would be better if I
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00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,200
a few shots.
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00:19:33,220 --> 00:19:35,240
Come on, Frank, that's not a real poem.
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00:19:35,820 --> 00:19:38,340
This from the author of The Shepherd by
the Shore?
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00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:41,940
I just wish you would try.
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00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:44,740
I have.
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00:19:45,820 --> 00:19:46,820
Believe me.
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00:19:47,780 --> 00:19:48,840
Well, you can't give up.
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00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:54,300
Frank, Frank, you gave me a lot. I'm
sure you know that. And one thing you
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00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:55,300
me. All right.
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00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:58,030
I'm not much of a writer, but I'm a hell
of a reader.
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00:19:58,510 --> 00:20:05,190
When I first read your stuff, it opened
up a whole world of beauty, of poetry,
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00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,330
of meaning.
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00:20:07,530 --> 00:20:13,490
Oh, Frank, I just wish... Oh, hell, I
guess you know what I wish.
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00:20:14,850 --> 00:20:19,330
Oh, John, what in God's name are you
doing? Sorry, I didn't mean it. It was
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00:20:19,330 --> 00:20:20,450
accident, really, just an accident.
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00:20:21,070 --> 00:20:22,150
Sorry, I think it's all right.
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00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:24,270
There, you see, it's fine.
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00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:32,300
apologizing for.
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00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,220
You're not going to be using it anymore
anyway.
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00:20:39,580 --> 00:20:40,580
All right.
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00:21:22,540 --> 00:21:27,460
Dear John moves to its new night
Wednesday at 9 .30 Eastern. I'm Jane
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00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:31,220
Who's more likely to appear in a Martin
Scorsese movie than Robert De Niro?
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00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:36,040
Scorsese's mom and dad meet the whole
family on Real Life Sunday at 8 .30.
23775
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