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is filmed before a live studio audience.
Oh, come on, Kate.
These are half -court tickets to the Knicks game.
I'm sorry, John. I can't. I've got tickets for Marcel Marceau at Lincoln
Oh, Kate, I hope you have good seats, because when I went last week, I was so
far back, I couldn't hear a thing.
Excuse me.
Is this the one -to -one club?
Yes. Might you be the Tony who telephoned me earlier?
Yes, yes, Tony Larkin. I'm sorry I'm late. No problem. Everybody!
Hi, Tony!
Hi, everybody.
Hey, all!
What it is.
What it look like. What it be, you know.
This is Square Biz, man. Hey, chill out.
I just wanted to kind of make them feel at ease, you know?
Well, Tony, what say you jump into the deep end and tell us all about yourself?
Up you get.
Well, there's not very much to tell. I was married for almost 14 years.
One day during breakfast, I peeked over the sports section and I saw one
miserable woman. None of them look good in the morning.
No, no, no.
She looked very nice, only she didn't look happy. Neither did I.
Obviously, something stopped working at our marriage.
Did you try oysters?
Thank you, Mrs. Hilbert.
Go on, dear.
Well, we went into counseling, but it still didn't work.
problems. Problems?
Difficulties, dilemmas, complications, snafus. I've heard.
What? Shut up, be still, pipe down, put a sock in it.
You were saying, dear?
Well, actually, I wasn't, and I'd really rather not. I don't open up that
easily. Oh, come on, Louise.
It's obvious. He'd rather not talk about it. Thanks.
Oh, all right.
Oh, Tony, were there any other less interesting problems?
Well, to be very honest, I've been a little lonely.
Mm -hmm.
You know, I get lonely, too.
But you know what helps?
Name your silverware.
Am I in the right room?
Okay, fellas, who's getting stuck with this?
That'll be me. Oh, no, no, no. I got it tonight, John. You paid for the hockey
tickets last night. Yeah, yeah, but you got the dinner last week. Oh, no, no,
no, but you paid for the basketball tickets two weeks ago. Yeah, but those
free. Oh, well, in that case, you got a dead beat.
Boy,
you seem to be feeling a lot better these days. Oh, I have been.
Thanks to you, John, and the group, I haven't been so lonely.
Oh, well, I'm glad they could help.
Well, it's been great.
You know, I have a hard time talking about myself, but with the group now, I
talk about anything.
Oh, that's terrific. That's really terrific, Tony. I'm glad to hear that.
Well, almost anything.
Oh?
Why? What haven't you told them?
Well, I haven't been able to get up the nerves to tell him that I'm black.
He's wonderful.
No, no, no, but there is something I'd like to tell him, but I'm not sure that
can. Come on, what is it? What would you like to tell him?
Oh, no, really, I can't.
Oh, come on, Tony.
Oh, it is your pal John here.
Well, we're friends, aren't we?
Well, you can tell me.
I'm gay.
Oh, there you go. That wasn't so bad now, was it?
So you're gay, so what?
Big deal.
Nothing to be ashamed of?
Well, how can you tell something like that to the group?
Look how uncomfortable it's made you.
Oh, it hasn't made me uncomfortable, exactly.
Oh, come on.
No, I was just surprised. I mean, you said you were married.
Well, what do you think broke up my marriage?
Yep, that'll do it.
Oh, listen, we really better get down there because the meeting's going to
any minute.
Oh, no, no, I think I'll skip it tonight.
Oh, no, no, no, come on, Tony. This is important, isn't it?
I mean, it must be terrible to hide something like that.
Come on, come to the group tonight.
I assure you, they'll be very, very supportive.
Okay, maybe I'll give it a try, but... But, uh, suppose they laugh at me.
No, I've only seen them do that once.
The group laughed at something Mrs. Filbert told them, but, boy, I'll tell
she made us feel real sorry we did that.
Well, what happened?
She mooned us.
And it wasn't easy, but I finally faced up to my...
True sexual orientation and came out of the closet.
I told Tony
that this group would be understanding.
I understand perfectly.
That's why I'm laughing so hard.
Well, I don't understand.
has just finished telling us, Ralph, is that his sexual proclivities are
confined to his own gender.
Huh?
You know, Ralph, he's like light in the loafers.
He's got a little bounce in his boots, a little too much air in his Nikes.
Tell me when they get to the supportive part. Tony, Tony, Tony.
I really think that it was brave of you to stand up and share that with us
tonight. And I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you.
you.
Personally, I'm flattered that you consider this group worthy of confiding
Yes, and I would like to apologize for what Kirk said.
We all are what we are, Kirk.
And we should be accepted as such.
Maybe you just haven't been with the right woman.
Well, where does the time go?
That's it for this evening. See you all next week.
Well, I still don't understand. I'll explain outside, Ralphie.
Good night, everybody.
Good night. Good night, everybody.
Are you going... Bye.
Hey.
Aren't you glad that you were honest with the group?
I mean, I know there were a few rocky moments there, but all in all, I think
they took it in stride.
Oh, my God!
Well, maybe not all of them.
Yeah, but... I mean, don't you feel better now that everything's out in the
open? Well, actually, I do.
And I wish they hadn't ended the meeting so soon. I was just really getting to
something I wanted to talk about.
Oh, really? What was that?
Maybe you'd like to talk to me about it.
Well, something's come up, and I'm not sure how to handle it.
I just met someone who could be very special.
Maybe it's too soon to start another relationship. Listen, if you're lucky
enough to have found someone that makes you feel wonderful, I say go for it.
Really?
Absolutely. Let the chips fall.
John, I think I'm falling in love with you.
Oh, come on, now. You had to expect this. Oh, no, I assure you, I never
anything remotely like this.
Something like this has never happened to me before in my life.
Oh, I'm surprised. You're very attractive.
Well, thank you.
I like to keep in shape and watch what I eat. What am I saying?
Well, now, listen, John, I know what you're going through. I went through the
same thing at first.
As a matter of fact, it's amazing how much you remind me of myself.
I was struggling with the same feelings.
Well, I'm not struggling with anything.
Oh, come on, Tony. This is crazy.
I mean, come on.
You can't be in love with me.
Listen, what does this sound like? I can't eat? I think of you constantly?
As a matter of fact, I had a dream the other night. Okay, okay, okay.
All right, all right. So you love me.
I can't for the life of me think why.
You know, what's the matter?
Don't you think you're worthy of being loved, huh? Oh, come on, Tony, come on.
Don't you know how wonderful you are? You're sensitive.
You're caring.
You have a terrific sense of humor.
How could I not love you?
Listen, you know, I know what this is. I mean, this is just... I can't believe
I'm going to say this. An infatuation.
Believe me, Tony, you're going to get over this.
Oh, no. This is not just some schoolboy infatuation. It's not like I have this
over -romanticized, unrealistic view of you. I know you're not perfect, but when
you love a person, you love even their flaws, no matter how big.
yesterday. Why the emergency call?
Well, remember last night when Tony told us he was gay?
Uh -huh.
Well, he left something out.
Apparently, he seems to have fallen in love.
Well, that's wonderful.
Not wonderful, Ralph.
You're looking at Mr. Right.
What makes you think he's in love with you?
John.
John, don't you think that you might be jumping to conclusions here?
Yeah, well, you tell me.
John, what did you say to encourage him? Nothing.
Not a thing. I just told him we could be friends.
Oh, John, you're such a tease.
Well, that's not all.
He's been calling me all day.
What does he say?
Well, that it kills him to be in the same room with me without being able to
touch me.
I know the feeling.
Cut it out, Kirk.
John. John, have you made it clear to him how you feel?
Well, I tried to last night, but that just seemed to lead to a physical
confrontation. Good heaven. Did he strike you?
Oh, no, no. Much worse than that.
Well, what did he do? Kiss you?
All I can say, Johnny, is it must have been some kiss.
Look, look, I need some help here.
Well, you know, there's a tribe in New Zealand that has a very unique way of
discouraging their daughter's unwanted suitors.
Oh, what the hell?
How, Ralph?
Well, the first night of the full moon, they tie the young man to a wild pig.
Then all the villagers gather around and throw dried gourds at him and shout, Go
away! Go away!
you very much, Ralph.
Hey, you know what?
I've got an idea.
I have an idea. Once in a similar situation, this worked like a charm.
Anything. Anything. I'll do anything. Anything.
Except that gourd and the wild pig thing.
All right. It's really very simple, John.
Now, all you have to do is invite Tony to dinner. Yeah.
And you tell him calmly, but in no uncertain terms, that you can never see
again. Not as friends, not as anything.
Well, no, no, wait a minute. What if he gets upset?
That's why you're going to invite him to a very quiet, very classy restaurant.
He'd never make a scene in such a public place.
Are you sure this worked?
Absolutely.
I never bothered that guy again.
I'm sorry I'm late. You've been waiting long?
No, I just got here myself.
Oh, this is a wonderful place.
Yeah, they say the food's really terrific here. Oh, I'm talking about the
atmosphere. It's so romantic.
Oh, I don't know. I don't think it's that romantic.
Hi. Well, what a surprise.
Well, I don't want to keep you. Enjoy your dinner.
Tony Larkin. Oh, I'm sorry.
David Hanratty, Tony Larkin.
David is the headmaster of my school, and Tony here is my, well, you know...
Friend. Yes.
That's just the word I was looking for, friend.
Me, an English teacher, I'll have to get the word friend.
Nice to meet you, David. So, David, imagine.
seeing you here.
Well, it's Helen's birthday.
We like to come here for special occasions.
Yes, well, I can certainly see why. So can I. You know, it's so romantic.
Wish Helen a very happy birthday for me, would you please? Well, I'll do that.
Okay. Well, I mustn't keep the birthday girl waiting. Nice to meet you, Tony.
Hi, Helen. My pleasure.
Shouldn't we send over a bottle of champagne?
No, Tony, we shouldn't do anything.
Oh, what's the matter with you, John? You seem a little nervous.
No, no, no, no. I'm not nervous. No, no. No, I'm relaxed. I'm perfectly relaxed.
Well, that's great because I want this to be a perfect evening.
Now, listen, Tony, there's something very important I want to talk to you
but it'll wait.
Did you really like the flowers I sent you? Uh -huh.
Well, yes.
Listen, I'll do the pouring. Thank you very much.
You know, I was just so excited when you called me today.
Yeah, look, Tony, the reason that I called you was that I wanted to get...
were thinking about what I said to you, right? Oh, yes, there's little else I
was thinking of.
I knew it.
Look, Tony, I barely was able to sleep after you kissed me.
Would you like to hear the specials? That would be nice. Well, actually,
you give us a little more time, please?
You two take all the time you need.
Now, look, Tony.
And don't interrupt.
I didn't ask you here to have a romantic evening.
It's quite the opposite.
I asked you here because I wanted to clear the air.
I want to be upfront and perfectly honest with you.
I, uh...
I have been called away by the National Guard.
Say, I have to be in Burma in the morning.
Now, now, John, just tell me the truth. What is it?
Look,
Tony, I don't want a relationship with you.
I can't have a relationship with you. I'm not that way.
I never will be.
Now, look, I'm very flattered.
By the way you feel about me, but... I can't return those feelings.
I hope you understand.
I see.
So you just want me to sit here and accept this.
Calmly listen to everything you have to say and not react.
Let me tell you something.
I've done that all of my life.
Nulled my feelings in.
Held my emotions in check.
But not tonight.
Now, what is this?
Just tell me, I'm not good enough for you, huh?
I'm not classy enough for you? Mr.
Fancy Private School Teacher.
Excuse me, Mr. Read a Book Every Night. Sorry I don't wear leather patches on my
sleeve. Oh, come on, come on. Now, Tony, don't be ridiculous.
Oh, so now I'm being ridiculous, huh?
You think you're some great prize?
Well, let me tell you something. I could do a lot better than you.
Oh, come on, Tony, please. I can't believe I ever loved you.
Are you all right, Tony?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I can't believe I behaved like this.
I don't know what went wrong.
Oh, Tony, it's okay. It's okay.
No, no, it's not.
I think I'd better go.
No, no, no, no, Tony.
Listen, if you want to go, it's okay.
I don't see any reason.
Two friends can't have dinner?
You really mean that?
We... We could still be friends.
Well, I, um... I think that's up to you.
Well, I'd like that.
Okay, great.
Yeah.
Okay. Listen, I'm starved.
Let me, uh...
splash a little water on my face, and I'll... I'll be right back. Okay.
John? Huh? Oh, I couldn't help noticing that little scene you had over here.
Yeah, well, listen, about that. You know, I always wondered why you and your
wife split up. Huh? No, no, no.
I mean, none of us could understand it, you know, but of course now it's, uh...
No, no, no, David, honestly, honestly, that's... John, John.
What? Relax.
Huh? You don't have to... pretend with me.
No, no. In fact, you're not the only gay we have in our family. Oh, come on,
David. I'm not?
Coach Polikoff.
The football coach?
I'll give him your number.
Don't thank me. No, no.
Tonight on 90210, Brandon and the guys throw a bachelor party for Dylan, and
girls throw a bachelorette party for Tony. Then at 9, the Salinger kids butt
on Kristen's wedding plans on Party of Five. Tonight at 9, following Beverly
Hills 90210.
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