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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,599 Hi, honey. 2 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:01,600 I'm home. 3 00:01:05,580 --> 00:01:12,080 I'm here tonight to share something wonderful that has come into my life. 4 00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:18,340 A thing that has brought me not only the promise of happiness, but a chance for 5 00:01:18,340 --> 00:01:19,560 personal enrichment. 6 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,560 A thing that has changed my life. 7 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:28,040 And I fervently believe it can change yours. 8 00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:30,600 Well, my goodness. 9 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,420 What is it, Colonel? 10 00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:33,700 It's handy. 11 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:40,580 Home electrolysis kit. Now available for the unbelievably low price of $39 .95. 12 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:45,940 Excuse me, that's supposed to enrich our lives and make us better people, Kirk? 13 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:49,080 I don't know about better, but you're going to be a whole lot smoother. 14 00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:54,860 What about you, Louise? Come on, you must have some unsightly, you know... I 15 00:01:54,860 --> 00:01:59,040 think now might be a good time to take a break. We'll say we resume discussion 16 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,360 about five minutes. 17 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:01,880 Uh, Red. 18 00:02:09,169 --> 00:02:13,090 I'm going to give you a free demonstration, Tom. Step into my office 19 00:02:13,090 --> 00:02:14,090 your pants. 20 00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:18,270 John? Hmm? 21 00:02:19,310 --> 00:02:20,710 Could I talk to you for a minute? 22 00:02:20,950 --> 00:02:25,430 Yeah, sure, Ralph. I just have kind of a favor I'd like to ask. Sure, sure. 23 00:02:25,470 --> 00:02:26,470 Anything I can do. What? 24 00:02:28,710 --> 00:02:32,010 You know what they say, no fame, no game. 25 00:02:34,410 --> 00:02:37,330 You see, there's this lady that... 26 00:02:38,380 --> 00:02:40,560 I'm kind of really taken with. 27 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:44,500 Well, that's great, Ralph. Good for you. Yeah, well, it's the first woman that 28 00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,800 I've been interested in since my wife left me. 29 00:02:47,260 --> 00:02:48,440 Ralphie, that is terrific. 30 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:55,680 Hey, you know what would make a very thoughtful gift? Now, Kurt, please, 31 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,920 John, come on. Hey, if he looks anything like his ex -wife, he could be a 32 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,800 candidate for the jumbo model. Kurt, please. 33 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:05,200 Also doubles as a hedge trimmer, Ralphie. All right, all right. He's not 34 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,200 interested, okay? 35 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,660 Now, if you don't mind, we're having a private discussion here. 36 00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:11,020 No problem. 37 00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:14,600 Um, Mrs. 38 00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:20,700 Philbert, did I mention that, uh, bikini season is right around the corner? 39 00:03:23,020 --> 00:03:24,020 Go ahead, Ralph. 40 00:03:24,340 --> 00:03:30,520 Well, you see, I would like to ask this lady out on a date, but, uh, 41 00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:34,700 every time I even think about it, I get an anxiety attack. 42 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:42,320 thought about it. 43 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:47,640 So, John, could you ask her for me? 44 00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:49,120 Oh, come on, Ralph. 45 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:53,400 I mean, what do you want me to do? Just go up to a total stranger and say, hi, 46 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:58,420 Ralph wants a date? No, no, no. This, this is not a total stranger, John. 47 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,480 This is Kate. 48 00:04:05,060 --> 00:04:06,060 Kate? 49 00:04:06,740 --> 00:04:07,740 Please, John. 50 00:04:08,350 --> 00:04:12,470 I thought about taking her to that new restaurant on Queens Boulevard, you 51 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:15,890 Well, Ralph, you're offering her a very nice evening. I mean, I don't see why 52 00:04:15,890 --> 00:04:16,890 you can't ask her yourself. 53 00:04:17,550 --> 00:04:18,550 Think about it. 54 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:27,110 Now I see why. Now I see why. I'll talk to her. I'll talk to her, Ralph. No, 55 00:04:27,110 --> 00:04:28,110 I'll talk to her. 56 00:04:28,970 --> 00:04:35,830 Good night, Kate. Oh, good night, Ralph. 57 00:04:36,430 --> 00:04:40,970 Oh, uh, Kate, uh, you got a minute? Oh, well, actually, the session got out 58 00:04:40,970 --> 00:04:43,350 late, and I'm supposed to meet your girlfriend for dinner. Yeah, I'll try to 59 00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:44,350 make it quick. 60 00:04:44,670 --> 00:04:48,430 Uh, Kate, I'm not quite sure how to ask you this. 61 00:04:49,230 --> 00:04:50,230 Good night, good night. 62 00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:58,930 It's okay, John, just say it. 63 00:04:59,470 --> 00:05:02,390 Okay, I, um, I just want to know if, um... 64 00:05:03,580 --> 00:05:06,280 Oh, boy, I knew this was going to be embarrassing, and I know why. 65 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,100 Kate, promise, don't laugh at me. 66 00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:11,320 Oh, John. 67 00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:14,160 John, let me make this easy for you, okay? 68 00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:16,700 I would love to go out with you. 69 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:20,160 Uh, Kate. 70 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:23,520 Actually, I've been wondering when you were going to get around to asking me. I 71 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:24,780 think it's a great idea. 72 00:05:25,260 --> 00:05:29,520 Uh, well, um... You do? 73 00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:31,020 Sure, don't you? 74 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,060 I'm free tomorrow night. So am I. 75 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,260 Dinner? Great. Good, call me. 76 00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:37,220 I gotta run. 77 00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:44,740 I admire a man who cooks. 78 00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:47,000 Yeah, I just wish I could do it better. 79 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,720 I mean, it's just so hard to get everything to come out at the same time. 80 00:05:50,980 --> 00:05:52,940 Oh, that's okay. Everything was delicious. 81 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:54,560 Especially the dessert. 82 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:55,900 Well, thank you, Kate. 83 00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:58,520 And the potatoes will be ready any minute. 84 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,120 Blurry? 85 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:12,920 No. 86 00:06:13,260 --> 00:06:15,140 No, I was going to say nice. 87 00:06:15,580 --> 00:06:17,720 Oh. Why? Do you think I'm tipsy? 88 00:06:18,060 --> 00:06:19,060 No. 89 00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:21,620 Well, not exactly. 90 00:06:22,660 --> 00:06:26,140 I just... I've never seen you this relaxed before, that's all. 91 00:06:26,860 --> 00:06:31,240 Well, it's a side of me that I usually don't let other people see. Well, it's a 92 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:32,240 very nice side. 93 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,080 Thank you. It's one of your better sides. 94 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,120 Not that there's anything wrong with your other side. 95 00:06:44,330 --> 00:06:49,550 I got this relaxed, I ended up trying to buy a racehorse from a vending machine. 96 00:06:52,610 --> 00:06:53,610 Hey, 97 00:06:54,410 --> 00:06:59,450 speaking of nice people, do you know who's really nice? 98 00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:01,310 Ralph. 99 00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:07,130 Oh, yeah, sure. Ralph is very nice. Yeah. You want to know something? What? 100 00:07:07,130 --> 00:07:08,150 really likes you. 101 00:07:08,630 --> 00:07:09,690 Really? Yeah. 102 00:07:10,790 --> 00:07:11,890 What about you? 103 00:07:12,460 --> 00:07:13,540 Oh, he likes me too. 104 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:27,920 This is sort of romantic, isn't it? 105 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:32,500 Yeah, the glow of a fire in a glass of wine. 106 00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:36,060 Oh, Kate, we don't have a fire. 107 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,500 We do have wine, right? 108 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,640 You know what I think we both need right now? 109 00:07:44,620 --> 00:07:49,640 I think we both can use a little coffee. Okay. 110 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,200 You got any on you? 111 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:03,040 No problem. I'll just borrow some from my neighbor across the hall. 112 00:08:03,980 --> 00:08:08,060 I always seem to be running out of coffee. I guess that's why my wife 113 00:08:08,060 --> 00:08:10,360 me. She probably thought it was grounds. 114 00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:50,100 She wasn't home. 115 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,100 Kate, what are you doing? 116 00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:59,460 You said to make myself comfortable. 117 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:07,680 Uh, Kate, I think you've had quite a lot to drink tonight. 118 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,820 Oh, look who's talking. 119 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,300 Yeah, but I'm not the one who has to drive home. 120 00:09:40,970 --> 00:09:41,970 attracted to you, Kate. 121 00:09:42,630 --> 00:09:48,110 It's just, I don't want to ruin our special relationship, you know, our 122 00:09:48,290 --> 00:09:49,290 our friendship. 123 00:09:49,410 --> 00:09:52,150 Oh, you're just so damn good, aren't you? 124 00:09:53,270 --> 00:09:54,270 I know, 125 00:09:54,630 --> 00:09:55,710 but I don't do it on purpose. 126 00:09:56,610 --> 00:10:01,530 Look, Kate, you and I have both had a lot to drink tonight, and it would be a 127 00:10:01,530 --> 00:10:04,250 very simple thing to give into the moment. 128 00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:06,250 So simple. 129 00:10:08,350 --> 00:10:09,350 Kate. 130 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:13,700 Tempting as that might be, Kate, I really respect you, you know? 131 00:10:14,820 --> 00:10:15,820 I do. 132 00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:18,500 Do you understand anything I've said? 133 00:10:20,060 --> 00:10:21,080 Anything at all? 134 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,060 Unfortunately, yes. 135 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:32,000 Good, good. Now, you just sleep right here, and I'll make myself a nice little 136 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,700 bed on the floor, okay? Okay. 137 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:34,960 Okay. 138 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:38,800 It's only me. 139 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,520 What happened? 140 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:48,260 You had too much to drink last night. 141 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:50,100 And you stayed here. 142 00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:56,660 But you're in bed with me. 143 00:11:58,880 --> 00:11:59,880 Right. 144 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:02,120 I'm sorry. 145 00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:27,570 Beautiful morning, isn't it? 146 00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:34,210 Yeah, it's lovely. 147 00:12:38,070 --> 00:12:39,670 I'd like to get out of bed now. 148 00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:43,890 Would you like to get dressed in the bathroom? Oh, well, if you don't mind. 149 00:12:43,890 --> 00:12:44,890 not at all. 150 00:12:47,910 --> 00:12:48,849 Shall we? 151 00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:49,850 Yes, of course. 152 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,240 Would you like some breakfast? 153 00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:59,720 Oh, no, thank you. I think I'll be fine. 154 00:13:00,140 --> 00:13:06,600 You sure I can't get you anything? 155 00:13:06,980 --> 00:13:08,800 Well, actually, there is one thing. 156 00:13:55,810 --> 00:13:58,410 Goodbye. I'll just show myself out. 157 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,560 John? Wait, I was hoping to get to talk to you. I've been calling you all week. 158 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,420 Let's just forget it. No, Kate, I don't want to forget it. 159 00:14:38,820 --> 00:14:40,620 John, there's really nothing to talk about. 160 00:14:41,060 --> 00:14:42,140 Kate, Kate, please. 161 00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:43,500 Oh, John, wait. 162 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,960 So, how did it go with Kate? 163 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,220 What do you mean with Kate? 164 00:14:51,740 --> 00:14:56,920 Oh, God, Ralph. Did she say if she'd go out with me? Ralph, it's kind of 165 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:57,920 complicated. 166 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:00,360 There's so much to tell. Why don't we grab a beer after the meeting? 167 00:15:15,530 --> 00:15:16,530 We begin. 168 00:15:16,690 --> 00:15:18,470 Louise, if you don't mind, I would like to start tonight. 169 00:15:18,690 --> 00:15:19,690 By all means. 170 00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:27,650 I thought I might be able to deal with this myself, but I'm 171 00:15:27,650 --> 00:15:29,590 afraid I can't. 172 00:15:30,550 --> 00:15:32,810 You see, I recently got involved in a relationship. 173 00:15:33,330 --> 00:15:37,710 Well, relationship is not exactly the word for it, and that's my problem. 174 00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:39,270 You see, I... 175 00:15:39,950 --> 00:15:44,270 I guess we went too far, too fast, and now she won't even talk to me. Well, 176 00:15:44,350 --> 00:15:48,030 John, you know what they always say. You can never be too rich, too thin, or go 177 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,490 too far, too fast. Yeah. 178 00:15:57,890 --> 00:16:00,670 Would you kindly shut up, please? 179 00:16:01,770 --> 00:16:02,770 Okay. 180 00:16:04,910 --> 00:16:08,650 What I can't for the life of me figure out is why she has suddenly become so... 181 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,620 pig -headed, icy, and immature. 182 00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:17,740 Well, I often find in a... Louise, may I take a shot at this? Certainly, Kate. 183 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:21,440 I think I know exactly how this woman feels. 184 00:16:22,460 --> 00:16:29,200 She probably felt that what you did was a mistake, that there was a special 185 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,560 bond between you, and that was ruined. 186 00:16:31,940 --> 00:16:32,939 What are you saying? 187 00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:36,340 Are you saying just because we enjoyed ourselves for an evening that we can no 188 00:16:36,340 --> 00:16:37,340 longer be friends? 189 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:38,480 That's... Just stupid. 190 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:39,720 Well, 191 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,960 John, you don't have to call her stupid. 192 00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:49,480 She's probably just trying to be true to her feelings. Well, fine, but it 193 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:52,020 happens to turn out that her feelings are wrong. 194 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:56,620 Wrong? God, you know that I used to think, John, I used to think that you 195 00:16:56,620 --> 00:17:01,100 sensitive, caring person, but you're not concerned one whit about this woman's 196 00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:02,580 feelings. Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate. 197 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,579 Aren't you taking this a little personally, dear? 198 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,900 in a vaguely similar situation. 199 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:24,680 Well, maybe it would be of help to John if you talked about it. 200 00:17:25,060 --> 00:17:26,740 Well, say, here's an idea. 201 00:17:30,820 --> 00:17:37,820 Well, um... There's this man that I... spend 202 00:17:37,820 --> 00:17:39,120 a fair amount of time with. 203 00:17:39,340 --> 00:17:44,520 We're not dating, really, but, uh... We do have occasion to see each other on 204 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,100 a... Weekly basis. 205 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:48,300 Weekly? 206 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:54,380 And I value this man's friendship a great deal. 207 00:17:55,340 --> 00:18:01,580 But now I have a chance to pursue a more romantic relationship, and I'm really 208 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:02,580 confused. 209 00:18:04,980 --> 00:18:08,060 Well, I say go for it, honey. Get your ya -ya's out. 210 00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:19,250 to him. 211 00:18:20,430 --> 00:18:24,130 Well, um, honestly, yes. 212 00:18:24,730 --> 00:18:31,330 So what you're saying is that there's a genuine chemistry there. 213 00:18:31,770 --> 00:18:34,670 Yes, Louise, that's what I seem to be saying. 214 00:18:35,330 --> 00:18:41,990 But, uh, what's even more confusing is that I happen 215 00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:44,510 to know that he's attracted to me, too. 216 00:19:30,730 --> 00:19:31,730 to this guy? 217 00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:36,310 I was afraid that he wouldn't understand. 218 00:19:38,070 --> 00:19:39,070 Oh. 219 00:19:40,830 --> 00:19:42,070 Well, I bet he would. 220 00:19:43,790 --> 00:19:45,490 He sounds like a very nice guy. 221 00:19:47,230 --> 00:19:48,250 Not to me. 222 00:19:49,850 --> 00:19:52,390 He ought to be hung up by his heels. 223 00:19:53,090 --> 00:19:55,310 My husband used to enjoy that. 224 00:20:04,460 --> 00:20:10,760 I think you're right about this man, and I only hope that he can also understand 225 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:16,300 that the only way that I can deal with this is to let go, 226 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:21,420 approach it from another angle, and start in again. 227 00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:25,660 My husband used to enjoy that, too. 228 00:20:35,909 --> 00:20:38,550 John, we still haven't told me what happened with Kate. 229 00:20:39,670 --> 00:20:43,590 Well, Ralph, I did get together with Kate, as you asked. Well? 230 00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:45,310 Over at my place. 231 00:20:46,590 --> 00:20:50,390 And, well, we had a little dinner and a little wine. 232 00:20:51,430 --> 00:20:52,790 Actually, a lot of wine. 233 00:20:54,370 --> 00:20:55,550 Oh, I see. 234 00:20:56,210 --> 00:21:00,710 No problem, John. Just tell me how much I owe you. No, no, no, Ralph. No, no. 235 00:21:01,130 --> 00:21:02,570 No, you don't owe me anything. 236 00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:08,790 You see, what happened was, um... I never got around to asking Kate for you. 237 00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:10,310 I'm sorry, Ralph. 238 00:21:11,190 --> 00:21:12,190 Oh. 239 00:21:14,310 --> 00:21:17,570 Well... That's all right, John. 240 00:21:18,130 --> 00:21:20,650 I guess it really was a lot to ask. 241 00:21:22,630 --> 00:21:23,630 Ralph? 242 00:21:23,910 --> 00:21:24,950 Hi. Oh. 243 00:21:25,390 --> 00:21:26,430 Hi. Hi, Kate. 244 00:21:26,790 --> 00:21:27,790 Hello. 245 00:21:32,940 --> 00:21:36,500 That was quite a lively session tonight, wasn't it? 246 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:38,320 Yeah, I'll say. 247 00:21:38,820 --> 00:21:42,280 Yeah, if someone wasn't paying attention, they might have even thought 248 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:43,340 were mad at each other. 249 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:51,800 Well, you know, Ralph, I don't think that John and I could ever 250 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,520 really be mad at each other. 251 00:21:55,340 --> 00:21:57,640 No, we're too good friends for that. 252 00:22:00,380 --> 00:22:01,380 Hey, you know what? 253 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:04,280 I've got two tickets for the ballet tonight. 254 00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:05,620 Would you like to go with me? 255 00:22:06,140 --> 00:22:07,140 Oh, I would love to. 256 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:10,820 But I can't. 257 00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:13,100 Oh. 258 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,460 But I know someone who would love to go. 259 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:17,400 Ralph. 260 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:46,420 Next, Van Owen's disclosure could put a cop killer back on the street in a tense 261 00:22:46,420 --> 00:22:47,460 new L .A. law. 262 00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:52,380 And Friday, George Burns is raising hell in the blockbuster movie comedy Oh, 263 00:22:52,380 --> 00:22:53,380 God, You Devil. 264 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:57,400 Then, Crockett and Tubbs are trying to bring down a serial killer without 265 00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,960 getting blown away in a tense Miami Vice. Friday. 20458

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