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1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:01,200
I'm home.
2
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to remind everyone that this Saturday we
are having our first singles soiree.
3
00:01:21,090 --> 00:01:22,910
Soiree? A wing ding.
4
00:01:24,090 --> 00:01:26,350
A shin dig. A bit of a bash.
5
00:01:29,270 --> 00:01:31,570
Blink if I'm getting through to you,
dear.
6
00:01:32,750 --> 00:01:33,990
It's a party, Ralph.
7
00:01:35,230 --> 00:01:39,230
Now there'll be other people just like
yourselves.
8
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Granted, that doesn't sound like much.
of an inducement but after all what
9
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:53,240
about here is promoting social
interaction breaking down interpersonal
10
00:01:53,240 --> 00:02:00,140
and blazing brave new trails toward
mutual fulfillment is
11
00:02:00,140 --> 00:02:01,340
the writing big enough
12
00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:24,810
Louise, I don't think I can make it. Oh,
no, God, John, it sounds like so much
13
00:02:24,810 --> 00:02:25,810
fun.
14
00:02:26,330 --> 00:02:31,330
It might be one of those parties where
they stamp your hand.
15
00:02:33,490 --> 00:02:37,430
Yeah, besides, John, what else could a
guy like you possibly have to do on a
16
00:02:37,430 --> 00:02:38,430
Saturday night?
17
00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:42,650
Well, as it turns out, Kirk, I just
moved into a new place. I'd like to
18
00:02:42,650 --> 00:02:45,830
the place up a little bit. You know, do
a little painting, hang some drapes.
19
00:02:46,270 --> 00:02:47,710
With some fresh cheese in the traps?
20
00:02:48,950 --> 00:02:52,450
Oh, nonsense, John. I mean, really.
21
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,610
What good is sitting alone?
22
00:03:56,330 --> 00:03:57,330
What do you think?
23
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:02,490
What do I think? Well, I think... Hi,
John.
24
00:04:02,730 --> 00:04:04,030
Hi, Kate. How are you?
25
00:04:04,270 --> 00:04:05,530
Good. How are you?
26
00:04:05,910 --> 00:04:06,910
Oh, boy.
27
00:04:06,970 --> 00:04:07,970
You look nice.
28
00:04:08,170 --> 00:04:09,170
Thanks.
29
00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:10,570
John. Red.
30
00:04:10,930 --> 00:04:12,170
A. Kate.
31
00:04:12,510 --> 00:04:14,410
Oh, A in one.
32
00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:15,950
Knockout dress.
33
00:04:23,660 --> 00:04:26,200
I figured he'd be the first one here.
Yeah, I talked him on the phone. I don't
34
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,200
think he's coming. No?
35
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:30,440
Hey, there's a little action around here
tonight. Why isn't Ralph coming? He was
36
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,780
really looking forward to this. Well,
between the three of us, I think Ralph
37
00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:34,480
made me a little upset about something.
38
00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:36,140
Upset? Why upset?
39
00:04:36,540 --> 00:04:38,680
Oh, oh, oh, I think I'm in love.
40
00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:44,140
What makes you think Ralph's upset? Oh,
he was crying. He was sniffing. He could
41
00:04:44,140 --> 00:04:47,320
barely talk. That, I'm telling you, as a
woman, I could get very serious about.
42
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,740
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Class act.
43
00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,960
Kirk, Kirk, Kirk, Kirk, Kirk, Kirk.
44
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,340
Look, I hate to interrupt you during
your mating season, but would you
45
00:04:54,580 --> 00:04:57,200
please tell us what's happened to Ralph?
I don't know. It's hard to make out
46
00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:00,220
with all the blubbering. Oh, damn it.
Kirk, didn't you say anything to him?
47
00:05:00,420 --> 00:05:03,520
Yeah, I said, Ralph, okay, so you're
miserable and your life stinks. What are
48
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:04,580
you going to do, kill yourself?
49
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,100
What did Ralph say?
50
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,620
I don't know. After that, the line went
dead.
51
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,580
So how's this guacamole?
52
00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:13,400
Kirk, how could even you be so stupid?
53
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,960
Oh, God, you don't think that Ralph
would... Do you know where he lives?
54
00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:18,200
Yes, my car's around the corner. Let's
go.
55
00:05:20,330 --> 00:05:23,550
Hey, ladies, how about a little dirty
dancing?
56
00:06:15,370 --> 00:06:16,690
I'd just like to know what's wrong with
you.
57
00:06:17,530 --> 00:06:19,570
What makes you think something's wrong?
58
00:06:22,530 --> 00:06:25,150
Oh, Ralph, please. We're only here to
help.
59
00:06:25,370 --> 00:06:28,730
Ralph, look, whatever it is, I'm sure
it's something that Kate and I have
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00:06:28,730 --> 00:06:29,730
wrestled with ourselves.
61
00:06:29,870 --> 00:06:33,010
Now, please, I promise you, we can help.
Can't we, Kate? Of course.
62
00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:14,000
Paraglyphics. Now, those are open to a
million different interpretations.
63
00:07:14,260 --> 00:07:15,260
Absolutely.
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00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:18,740
It said all who read this are doomed.
65
00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:20,900
Okay.
66
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:25,940
Ralph, are you saying that something
happened to your grandfather?
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00:07:43,150 --> 00:07:44,150
didn't suffer.
68
00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:17,560
Sorry.
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00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:32,910
carry on. It's almost like you knew him.
70
00:09:36,570 --> 00:09:43,550
I thought about burying him out in the
garden, but I just haven't
71
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:44,550
been able to.
72
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,080
Do you know what you have to do?
73
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:11,200
At times like this, you have to look
back over your whole life and just try
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00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,600
remember something happy.
75
00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:14,740
No, I mean really happy. Yeah.
76
00:10:39,950 --> 00:10:41,070
even painted it myself.
77
00:10:41,450 --> 00:10:45,110
The bottom half was red and the top half
was white.
78
00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:51,130
And it had a stove and a sink and even a
little toilet.
79
00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:58,690
I used to take it out on the weekends,
camping and holidays. See, there you go.
80
00:10:58,850 --> 00:11:03,310
Right, right. Now, anytime you feel, you
know, just a little down and you want
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00:11:03,310 --> 00:11:06,270
to cheer yourself up, well, you just
think of that little red and white
82
00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:07,450
I will. Good for you.
83
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:12,900
And I'll just try to forget that Fourth
of July, a gang of drunks pushed it down
84
00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:13,900
into banquet.
85
00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:17,860
It
86
00:11:17,860 --> 00:11:24,760
wound
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up in a ditch.
88
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:28,980
Oh, Ralph, that's awful.
89
00:11:29,220 --> 00:11:32,240
I sat there for two days thinking the
same thing.
90
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:34,620
You were in the camper?
91
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:13,660
Swarm at the dance, and I'm thinking, my
buddy's depressed, and who do I send
92
00:12:13,660 --> 00:12:14,660
over to cheer him up?
93
00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:16,180
The Downer twins.
94
00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:18,939
You too.
95
00:12:18,940 --> 00:12:19,940
Take five.
96
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,340
The Kirksters here.
97
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:23,900
How you feeling, buddy?
98
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,120
Oh, not too bad, Kirk. Yeah?
99
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,800
Well, you look like you just lost your
best friend.
100
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,040
Listen,
101
00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:37,280
Ralph's had kind of a bad day.
102
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:40,660
He lost his job, his pet died, and his
electric razor is broke.
103
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:41,920
Oh, jeez.
104
00:12:42,820 --> 00:12:45,140
Ralphie, it sounds like you're cursed or
something.
105
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:53,420
Don't say that. Don't say that. There is
no such thing as a curse. No curses
106
00:12:53,420 --> 00:12:56,040
here. There are no curses here. All
right, take it easy.
107
00:12:58,080 --> 00:12:59,900
Ralph, can I give you some advice?
108
00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:02,560
You've got to get your mind off of your
problems.
109
00:13:05,170 --> 00:13:07,150
Why don't you go in the kitchen and make
me a sandwich?
110
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:14,290
Well, I guess I could find something in
the kitchen.
111
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:37,720
Got Ralphie in the dumper?
112
00:13:38,820 --> 00:13:41,900
Yeah. So what's the big deal? Can't he
get an exterminator in here?
113
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,340
Kurt, it's a turtle.
114
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:48,620
Ralph's had him for years.
115
00:13:49,060 --> 00:13:52,660
We should have punched some holes in the
box. This little guy is dead.
116
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,640
He was gonna bury him in the garden, but
he couldn't get himself to do it.
117
00:14:07,940 --> 00:14:09,380
I'll take care of it. You?
118
00:14:09,780 --> 00:14:11,420
No, thanks. I'll take care of it myself.
119
00:14:11,660 --> 00:14:14,040
Oh, come on. You guys have been here all
night taking care of him. Let me at
120
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:15,019
least do something.
121
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,100
I'll take care of it. Hey, come on.
122
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:17,360
I'm a person.
123
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,640
I got feelings over here.
124
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:25,620
Come on. I'd like to feel like at least
I can do something. Come on, please.
125
00:14:25,860 --> 00:14:27,020
It's important to me.
126
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,220
You know, Kirk, you are full of
surprises.
127
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:31,880
Yeah.
128
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,980
It's the kind of guy I am.
129
00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:41,830
Could John and I have a moment alone,
please? Don't worry about it, John.
130
00:14:41,830 --> 00:14:42,830
be done and done.
131
00:14:44,230 --> 00:14:45,230
How's he doing?
132
00:14:45,730 --> 00:14:47,290
I'm really worried about Ralph.
133
00:14:48,270 --> 00:14:50,210
You know, I think it would be better if
I stayed with him tonight.
134
00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:51,649
Yeah, okay.
135
00:14:51,650 --> 00:14:52,650
That's a good idea.
136
00:14:53,130 --> 00:14:54,450
Now, if we can only get rid of Kirk.
137
00:14:54,830 --> 00:14:58,130
That's okay. I put him in charge of the
turtles' funeral arrangements.
138
00:14:58,650 --> 00:14:59,549
You did what?
139
00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:02,710
I know what you think of Kirk, and I
don't blame you, but, you know, I think
140
00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:07,350
within that grass exterior, there's a
really nice guy just struggling to get
141
00:15:07,350 --> 00:15:08,350
out.
142
00:15:28,780 --> 00:15:30,100
Good morning, John. Oh, Ralph.
143
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,120
What time is it? Oh, it's after 11.
144
00:15:32,820 --> 00:15:35,260
I've been up for hours. I've already
done the shopping.
145
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:42,660
Well, you... You certainly look like you
feel a lot better since last night. Oh,
146
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,360
I do. I do 100 % better.
147
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:49,840
All that nonsense about a curse, I can't
believe I really thought that.
148
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:54,400
Oh, Ralph, I'm so glad to hear you say
that. And I owe it all to you. Me?
149
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,120
You made me realize that...
150
00:15:57,930 --> 00:16:00,170
I have something millions of people
don't have.
151
00:16:01,590 --> 00:16:02,830
Friends. Oh.
152
00:16:03,890 --> 00:16:06,610
Oh, uh, would you like some granola?
153
00:16:06,950 --> 00:16:07,950
Yeah, why not?
154
00:16:10,910 --> 00:16:11,910
I'll get it.
155
00:16:20,070 --> 00:16:21,910
Oh, hi, Kurt. Let me guess.
156
00:16:22,150 --> 00:16:23,990
Not a morning person, right, John?
157
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,960
He's actually a different person. I
mean, he's actually happy.
158
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:37,480
Well, he will be even happier when he
sees what his old buddy Kirk has done
159
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:38,480
him.
160
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:40,240
Why? What have you done for him, Kirk?
161
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:44,600
It is a surprise. Just tell me, please.
What have you done for him? What have
162
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,280
you done for him, Kirk? What have you
done for that man?
163
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,280
Oh, hi, Kirk. Ralph.
164
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:52,740
Would you like some granola? All in the
fullness of time, my friend. I got a
165
00:16:52,740 --> 00:16:53,740
little something for you.
166
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:57,160
Well, what is it? Open it.
167
00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:05,710
Well, that's very nice, Kirk.
168
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:09,650
And expensive, I'm sure. Please, let's
not spoil the moment by talking about
169
00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:10,650
money.
170
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,250
I mean, what's $39 .95 between friends?
171
00:17:17,329 --> 00:17:18,349
This is wonderful.
172
00:17:20,310 --> 00:17:21,310
Thank you, Kirk.
173
00:17:22,550 --> 00:17:28,630
No one has ever... I just, I don't know
what to say. That is only the beginning,
174
00:17:28,810 --> 00:17:31,990
Ralph. I am going to take you in the
kitchen. I am going to make you my
175
00:17:31,990 --> 00:17:33,870
gourmet specialty breakfast.
176
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,220
You got frozen waffles, right?
177
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:39,540
Why shouldn't everything be fine?
178
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:41,400
Fine? Come in.
179
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:45,380
This condition of Ralph's, it's not
contagious, is it?
180
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:48,320
Oh, hi.
181
00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:51,000
Great, Louise. And how are you today,
dear?
182
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,740
I'm a lot better, thank you.
183
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:56,980
Um, I'd offer you some coffee, but the
coffee maker just quit.
184
00:18:57,540 --> 00:19:00,180
Well, hey, ladies.
185
00:19:02,180 --> 00:19:05,460
Well, I guess I can forget about
breakfast. Ralphie's Toaster just bought
186
00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:06,460
farm.
187
00:19:16,950 --> 00:19:17,950
Kirk? Mm -hmm.
188
00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:21,370
Oh, that was very nice of him.
189
00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:34,450
Ralph, we've got another surprise for
you. Yes. We're going to drive you down
190
00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:38,730
the pet shop and buy you a spanking new
turtle. Oh, thanks, Louise, but I went
191
00:19:38,730 --> 00:19:42,510
down this morning when they opened, and
I've got two new turtles.
192
00:19:42,850 --> 00:19:46,070
Oh, where are the little darlings? In
the aquarium.
193
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:35,690
And to say thank you to each and every
one of you for helping me,
194
00:20:35,770 --> 00:20:38,730
I opened my bottle of champagne.
195
00:20:39,310 --> 00:20:40,310
Well,
196
00:20:41,050 --> 00:20:42,930
it's sparkling wine, actually.
197
00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:47,470
Here you are. Take one. Here you go,
John. Oh, thank you.
198
00:20:48,150 --> 00:20:49,150
Here you are.
199
00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:53,270
I would like to propose a toast.
200
00:20:57,570 --> 00:20:58,670
To my friends.
201
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:10,600
Some cheese and crackers.
202
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:14,980
He's right, you know.
203
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,900
I mean, when you think of all the happy
times you had in your life, all those
204
00:21:19,900 --> 00:21:23,480
crazy, wild moments, who'd you have them
with?
205
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:24,700
Family?
206
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,580
People from work? No.
207
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:27,840
No.
208
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:30,500
You had them with friends.
209
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:34,320
How about you, Louise?
210
00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:37,340
I bet you had some pretty wild times
with your friends, huh?
211
00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:39,100
Well...
212
00:21:41,230 --> 00:21:43,370
caution to the wind once or twice?
213
00:21:45,810 --> 00:21:46,810
Yes.
214
00:21:47,590 --> 00:21:50,590
What about you, Red? You ever done any
wild things?
215
00:21:52,250 --> 00:21:53,250
Not really, no.
216
00:21:54,490 --> 00:21:56,490
Oh, yeah, I forgot who I was talking to.
217
00:22:01,870 --> 00:22:06,110
Well, I, for one, have had many very
wild experiences with my friends.
218
00:22:06,790 --> 00:22:10,010
I'll never forget one time in
particular. It was Fourth of July many
219
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,340
I'm out in the country with about four
buddies.
220
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:17,140
We stumble into this bar, and we get
bombed. I mean polluted.
221
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,160
We get thrown out of there, and we're
walking down this windy country road.
222
00:22:21,380 --> 00:22:25,220
We come across this little, tiny, red
and white camper.
223
00:22:39,370 --> 00:22:42,950
Race becomes an issue when Grace faces a
powerful opponent on L .A. Law.
224
00:22:43,350 --> 00:22:47,770
And Saturday night, the thought of a
bikini -clad Brenda has Mary on the
225
00:22:47,770 --> 00:22:48,770
on 227.
226
00:22:49,070 --> 00:22:53,210
Then lift your spirits with Amen,
followed by the Golden Girls and Empty
227
00:22:53,530 --> 00:22:57,690
Then Hunter and McCall, the friend of
Lloyd, cocked into silence by his
228
00:22:57,690 --> 00:22:59,910
murder in the tense Hunter season
premiere.
18213
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