Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,569 --> 00:00:04,572
ADULT ADAM: Back in the day,
my mom always invaded
my personal space.
2
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:07,575
She was famous for her
snuggies, huggies, kissies,
3
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:09,177
and her signature move,
4
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,811
the nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-
nom-nom-nom-nom.
5
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:13,781
Good morning!
Here's your nom!
6
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:15,149
Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom!
7
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,417
Eh, right!
8
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:19,120
Like the movie
Good Morning, Vietnam,
except people liked that.
9
00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,454
That Mork is so talented.
10
00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:22,790
I wish he'd make
a Vietnam Part Two.
11
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:24,292
Going in for another scoop.
(INHALES SHARPLY)
12
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:26,360
Nom-nom-nom-nom-
nom-nom-nom-nom!
13
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:27,828
Enough!
This has to stop!
14
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,197
I'm cutting you off
cold turkey!
15
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,199
What? At least
let me taper off.
16
00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:33,301
(CHUCKLES)
This mama's gotta nom-ma.
17
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:34,635
Nom-nom-nom...
I mean it!
18
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,137
This is your last nom.
19
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,505
ADULT ADAM:
I had stopped
my mom cold,
20
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,373
but when life
closes one door,
21
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,309
my mom crashes
through another.
22
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,043
Oh, look
who sent you
a brochure.
23
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,845
Calgary State Bible College.
24
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,214
Sounds cold and religious.
25
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:47,981
Oh, you're not going
to this garbage school.
26
00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:50,451
But remember
when you were
blabbing about
27
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:53,854
adult-y adventures
and viciously cutting me
out of your life?
28
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,456
Sounds like
for sure you do.
29
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:58,126
Well, this means
that your college
phase is here,
30
00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:00,694
and you're gonna
need your mama
to help get you in.
31
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:03,631
Or I just say yes
to these religious Eskimos
and we're good to go.
32
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,065
No, silly.
33
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:06,667
I'm gonna be on you
night and day
34
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:09,370
to make sure you get into
the best college there is.
35
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:10,804
Night? Day?
36
00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,473
But those are
all the times.
37
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,642
ADULT ADAM: My mom
was determined
to use college
38
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:17,145
as a way to get
close to me.
Way too close.
39
00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:19,213
Quick! What's the
square root of 144?
40
00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:20,581
Naked body! Scared!
41
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,716
College admissions boards
won't be as forgiving
as I am, Adam.
42
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,685
Mom, please!
This is humiliating!
43
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:27,588
Humiliating? Try telling
your friends your kid
got deferred at Tufts.
44
00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:28,722
Gah!
45
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:32,059
Ta-da!
It's your college collage
to put above your bed
46
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:35,329
so you can look at it
before you go to sleep
and dream about college.
47
00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:36,530
Yeah, I'll never do that.
48
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:38,932
But is that my head glued onto
a dude playing Frisbee?
49
00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:41,535
It is.
This is the energy
I can expect from you
50
00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:42,770
until I actually
get into college?
51
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:44,705
I'm super excited, too!
52
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:48,209
Oh, this is gonna be
such a fun journey,
study buddy.
53
00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:49,743
Mwah!
Mm!
54
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,512
I gotta get my mom
off my back.
55
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:54,348
Well, you could help her
find a hobby to distract her.
Maybe a bowling league?
56
00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:56,517
My mom's currently
in a legal matter with
Jenkintown Lanes,
57
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:57,618
and that's all
I'm allowed to say.
58
00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,119
She could try
my mom's hobby,
59
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:01,555
drinking boxed wine
while she completely
ignores me.
60
00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,591
Wow.
You're so lucky.
Totally.
61
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,393
Look, I'm sure
this will blow over soon.
62
00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:06,894
Erica and Barry
just moved out.
63
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,629
Your mom just
needs time to adjust.
64
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:09,963
Yeah,
you're probably right.
65
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:13,301
(TO TUNE OF YMCA)
* U-C-L-A
66
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:17,538
* You're going to U-C-L-A
67
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:19,440
* It's in Hollywood
68
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,409
* You're a big movie geek
69
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:24,144
* And your mama
will fly out each week
70
00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:26,647
Another brochure came
in the mail for you today.
71
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,816
From UCLA?
That's right,
study buddy!
72
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:33,287
* You're going to U-C-L-A *
73
00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:34,988
* I'm twisted up inside
74
00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:37,925
* But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say
75
00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:42,663
* I don't know the future
76
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:46,166
* But the past keeps getting
clearer every day *
77
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,602
ADULT ADAM:
It was October 9th,
1980-something,
78
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:51,905
and while Erica was
focused on doing college
right this time,
79
00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:53,641
Geoff wasn't focused
on anything at all.
80
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,676
So, I have an hour
until my next class,
81
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,611
which I can use
to finish my chem lab
82
00:02:57,645 --> 00:02:59,647
and my reading
for women's lit.
83
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:00,914
How's your day looking?
84
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,383
Eh, I gotta get this ball
in this cup.
85
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,486
Oh. Well, my schedule
just opened up.
86
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,587
Can I make you
another tea?
87
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,522
I think I'm good.
Cool, cool.
88
00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:10,824
Well, I'll just sit quietly,
and I'm here if you need me.
89
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:13,861
(CLEARS THROAT)
90
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:16,830
(GRUNTS LOUDLY)
91
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,098
(GROANS RASPILY)
92
00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:27,975
You know, I'm just gonna
make you a backup tea.
93
00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:30,644
No. Geoff,
I think it's great
94
00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:32,313
that you're taking a year off
to find yourself,
95
00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:33,681
but I've got work to do.
96
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:34,948
I knew it!
I'm bothering you!
97
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:36,650
No!
98
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:38,286
But for the love
of God, yes!
99
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,820
I really thought
all this free time
100
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:43,291
would finally help me relax
after a very intense 18 years,
101
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:44,525
but I've never been
more stressed.
102
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,693
I'm growing so much hair!
103
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:46,794
Stress makes you
lose hair.
104
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:47,895
Oh, no!
Nothing is right!
105
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:50,498
Don't worry. I know
exactly how to fix this.
106
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:51,965
Is this your card?
107
00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:53,734
No.
Yes, it is!
108
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:54,868
You liar!
109
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,203
JTP?
JTP: JTP.
110
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,405
Geoff's broken.
Fix him.
111
00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,006
Thanks, hon. Love you.
Oh, she's gone.
(DOOR CLOSES)
112
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,541
Broken, huh?
What are we talking about?
113
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,710
Mental? Emotional?
Physical?
114
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,645
Pop off your shirt
so we can see what
we're working with.
115
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:06,046
No,
it's not body-related.
116
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,181
I just need to figure out
a way to fill my days
117
00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:09,650
and quiet
my shrieking mind.
118
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:11,385
Lucky for you,
your lazy girlfriend
119
00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:12,986
dumped you
on the right friend group.
120
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,154
Now pop off your shirt.
121
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:15,222
Stop trying
to undress me.
122
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,358
I got it.
Come work with me
at The Gap.
123
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:19,560
I get 25% off
all cargo shorts.
124
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,495
These are the same ones
Queen Latifah wears.
125
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:22,930
Or you could work
for my Uncle Ronnie.
126
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,898
Yeah, he puts a box
in my trunk,
127
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,600
I drive it
across the Canadian border,
128
00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:29,537
and then wham, bam,
all the Hardee's I can eat.
129
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,505
Yeah, bro. I think
you might be a drug mule.
130
00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,707
What if I don't want
to be Queen Latifah
or a criminal?
131
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:37,010
Done! You will start your own
insanely lucrative business.
132
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:38,912
That's better!
I use businesses
all the time.
133
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,080
GEOFF: I think
I'm in real trouble.
134
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,616
Last week, I accidentally
went to economics class,
135
00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:43,784
and now I know
everything
136
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,386
about starting
your own business
137
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,721
using the laws
of supply and da man.
138
00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:48,789
I'm pretty sure
it's "demand."
139
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,223
Wrong, Geoffrey.
140
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:52,960
It's when you ask
da man what he wants
and then you supply it.
141
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,562
Dad, what do you want?
142
00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:56,196
To watch Cheers
in peace.
143
00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:57,264
Dad!
144
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,466
Uh...
Sandwich from Lee's.
145
00:04:58,499 --> 00:04:59,767
Boring!
146
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,101
(SCOFFS)
We'll ask another da man.
147
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,270
Hang on.
T-That's a good idea.
148
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,806
W-Why are pizza places
the only ones that deliver?
149
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,809
What if there was a business
that would deliver
any food to your house?
150
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,210
Like live Maine lobsters?
151
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,112
Beef Wellington
with a port wine reduction!
152
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:15,549
Or pizza from
fancy pizza places
that don't deliver.
153
00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:16,617
All of it.
154
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,051
You call me,
I place the order,
155
00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:20,253
pick it up, bring it to you,
all for a small fee.
156
00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:22,289
I can get
an outside-the-house
sandwich
157
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,758
while staying
inside the house?
Sandwich me.
158
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:26,093
I have
my first customer.
159
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:27,895
W-Wait. I think
I just started a business.
160
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,730
You need drivers?
I'm looking for
a little extra cash.
161
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,599
Me too.
I-I hate these shorts.
162
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:33,601
And I might be
a drug mule,
so I am in.
163
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:34,668
I have employees!
164
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:38,138
And a president/
CEO/visionary.
165
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:41,008
Salary TBD,
but likely TB a lot.
166
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,643
First thought,
we need a name.
167
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,478
How 'bout
"Food in a Geoffy"?
168
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:45,946
Not poppin'.
169
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:48,482
How about "Barry Up
and Get Your Food in a Geoffy:
A Big Tasty Biz"?
170
00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:49,583
It's definitely longer.
171
00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:51,184
Agreed.
I'll order T-shirts.
172
00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:52,853
ADULT ADAM:
While Geoff was finding
his calling,
173
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:55,823
I was finding myself totally
lost in history class.
174
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,425
Here are your assignments
for your papers.
175
00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:58,826
Dave Kim... Harriet Tubman.
176
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,461
Sweet! H-Tub.
177
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:03,431
Nothing's gonna
be underground about her
when I'm done with my paper.
178
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:04,998
I weep for our future.
179
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,634
New girl...
Susan B. Anthony.
180
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:08,001
Well, I be excited.
181
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,102
Nice.
182
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,171
Adam Goldberg...
Sandra Day O'Connor.
183
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,372
Oh, no, thank you.
184
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:14,007
"No, thank you"?
185
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,976
This should be enraging.
186
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,244
Say your dumb words.
187
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:19,713
As you know,
Mr. Coleman agreed
that I'm a visual learner
188
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:21,214
and always
let me make a video.
189
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:22,816
As you know,
Mr. Coleman was fired
190
00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:24,518
for tying a quarter
to a string
191
00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,620
and stealing Rolos
from the vending machines.
192
00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:29,389
Paper it is. I believe
you said it would be
on George Lucas?
193
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:31,892
1,000 words
on Sandra Day O'Connor.
194
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:35,062
How about Sarah Connor,
the character from Terminator?
195
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,530
Which is directed
by James Cameron,
196
00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:37,965
which is
who my paper will be on.
197
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,833
Sandra...Day...O'Connor!
198
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:42,369
You know what?
Everybody just sit quietly
while I snap chalk!
199
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,537
You're boned, bro.
200
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,205
You haven't
written a paper
in three years.
201
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,374
Maybe I still
don't have to.
202
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,009
There's my special lady.
203
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,077
Wait, what?
204
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,579
I was thinking about us
being study buddies.
205
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:52,680
Let's do that.
206
00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:54,014
Are you toying
with my heart
right now?
207
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,315
Because it will
literally explode!
208
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:56,584
No toying.
209
00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:59,820
Just a boy looking to do
some scholastic bonding
with his mama.
210
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,689
Where should we start?
Oh, I know!
211
00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:04,558
I have to write a paper
on one Sandra Day O'Connor.
212
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:06,093
And you immediately
thought of me?
213
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:08,328
Well, you were
almost a cookbook author,
214
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:09,830
and you almost
coulda been a lawyer.
215
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,699
I was almost
both of those things.
216
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:12,933
So, let's get on it,
girl!
217
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,535
We'll make a whole
Sandra Day of it.
218
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:17,605
Yay! My sweet little baby
has re-latched to my bosom.
219
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:18,872
You have a way with words.
220
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:20,508
So let's start
writing that paper
221
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:21,909
without those ones
specifically.
222
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,210
I'll bring the typewriter,
223
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:25,713
you bring the dimples,
study buddy.
224
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,214
(CHUCKLES)
Study buddies!
225
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:28,448
I know what
you're doing,
kiddo.
226
00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:29,917
I'm not doing anything.
227
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:33,386
You're conning your mother
into writing a paper for you.
228
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:35,055
Oh.
Yeah, I'm doing that.
229
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:36,123
But it's fine.
230
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:37,725
She wants to spend time
with her son,
231
00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:39,960
and I want
not to write a paper.
It's win-win.
232
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,195
The honorable
Sandra Day O'Connor
233
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:44,965
would be appalled
that you would
even consider this.
234
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,366
You seem to know
a lot about her.
235
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:48,401
Why don't you stick around
and help your daughter
write her paper?
236
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,370
Eh, you're all
ferkokte.
237
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,072
I deserve a pickle.
238
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:54,775
Hey, Schmooey,
you're just my type.
239
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,376
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
240
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:58,045
Typewriter humor.
241
00:07:58,078 --> 00:07:59,813
Just save that gold
for the page.
242
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:00,948
So, where do we start?
243
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:03,283
Here's everything
I know so far...
She's a lady.
244
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,285
Well, I know a ton.
(CHUCKLES)
245
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,754
For her confirmation hearing,
246
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:09,089
she wore the
most hideous purple coat.
247
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,824
You're an expert.
Let me get out of your way.
248
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:13,827
(SIGHS) I wish this essay
was a million words.
249
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:16,630
Should we do that?
Just write a million words?
250
00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:18,732
Definitely. But no.
251
00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:20,801
ADULT ADAM: With that,
my mom got cracking.
252
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,302
Sure, it wasn't
a million words,
253
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:26,073
but it was
an endless amount of detail
on Sandra Day O'Connor.
254
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,909
All I had to do was sit back
and enjoy the ride.
255
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,611
Yes!
Writing is easy!
256
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,512
While I was
outsourcing my paper,
257
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:35,683
Geoff's new business
was already a source
of great stress.
258
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,417
Food in a Geoffy.
Please hold.
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
259
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,753
Food in a Geoffy.
Please hold.
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
260
00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:41,655
Food in a Geoffy.
How may I help you?
261
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,857
What do you mean you
only got three loose
fries with your order?
262
00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,859
That's on me.
I'm a snacker when I drive.
263
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:48,662
Me too. But who's gonna
actually check the exact
length of a footlong?
264
00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:49,963
Guys,
stop eating the food!
265
00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:51,464
Does that apply
to beverages?
266
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:53,601
'Cause there used to
be two shakes,
and now there are none.
267
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,636
Damn it, JTP.
Just go! Deliver!
268
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:56,937
JTP!
JTP.
269
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,471
Big news, Geoffrey.
270
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:02,542
I'm using company funds
to buy an expensive putter
for my putting green.
271
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:04,177
This one
keeps missing the hole.
272
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,046
Barry, do you really need
all that stuff?
273
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:09,316
You need to spend money
to make money.
274
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:12,019
Sometimes I question
your commitment
to my business.
275
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,687
It's my business!
What business?
276
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:14,822
Great news, Erica.
277
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:15,989
I found a better way
to relax
278
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,224
than hanging around
your dorm room.
279
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,526
I started a relentless,
high-octane
food-delivery company.
280
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,028
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
281
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,262
Food in a Geoffy!
Please hold!
282
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,396
Wait, what is it?
283
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:24,632
Well, it's extremely
simple, really.
284
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:25,699
ADULT ADAM:
Except it wasn't.
285
00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:26,800
Say you want a burger.
(PAGER BEEPS)
286
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:27,968
GEOFF: You just
page my beeper,
287
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,369
I get the page
and then call you back
wherever I am.
288
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,204
You place your order with me,
and then I call the restaurant
289
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,372
and place that order
with them.
290
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,708
Then, I or one of
my many unreliable drivers
291
00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:37,210
get your order,
and we drive it to you
for a small delivery fee.
292
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,546
(PAGER BEEPING)
Then it starts all over again
and again and again.
293
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,648
I haven't slept in two days.
294
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,850
$2 for all that work?
Pretty cool, huh?
295
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:44,184
Geoff, are you sure
this is worth...
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
296
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:46,053
Damn it.
Food in a Geoffy.
297
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,621
MURRAY: Hello?
Mr. Goldberg?
298
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:51,925
Yeah, I'll have a Shasta,
light ice, from the kitchen,
a chili dog from the Wawa,
299
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:53,526
and take Lucky
for a tinkle.
300
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,728
We don't provide dog care.
301
00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:56,830
The customer
is always right.
302
00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,732
On it. (SIGHS)
303
00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:01,869
I'm so happy
your gentle annoyance with me
pushed me into this.
304
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:04,337
ADULT ADAM:
While Food in a Geoffy
took over Geoffy's life,
305
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:07,574
my mom-written paper
would surely save mine.
306
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,676
Meh!
307
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:10,410
A C?
What the hell, man?
308
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,046
Yeah, just like your haircut,
super mediocre.
309
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,181
But this makes no sense.
310
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,716
Believe me,
that C on your paper
311
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,350
is the only thing
that was accurate.
312
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,119
You referred
to Justice O'Connor
313
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:22,155
as Sandy, Sally,
Shawna, Shonda,
314
00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:23,556
and one time, Tiffany!
315
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,058
Wow. Yeah.
316
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:27,928
Seems like the most
cursory once-over
would've caught that.
317
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,498
Aloha,
my little academia nut.
318
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:33,400
Hi, Mom.
Quick question...
319
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,868
Are you a damn fool?
320
00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:37,137
A C?
Yeah, for "crap."
321
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,072
If I wanted a C,
I would have
written it myself.
322
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,373
This is not okay!
323
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,809
Neither is your spelling
or grammar
324
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,076
or rambling sentences.
325
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,913
And who the hell
is Tiffany Night O'Brien?
326
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:47,380
Oh,
they knew who I meant.
327
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:48,615
I don't know
who you meant,
328
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:49,817
and I was sitting
right there.
329
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,318
Well, I'm gonna fix this.
330
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,220
Your college future
is at stake.
331
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,088
First thing tomorrow,
I'm marching down
332
00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,556
to have a talk
with Mr. Woodburn.
333
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,125
Oh, please don't do that.
334
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,292
It's done.
335
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,795
Study buddies
take care of each other.
336
00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:02,930
Study buddies!
337
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,431
(WHIMPERING)
Study buddies.
338
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:07,400
I guess we're both
pretty deep into a pickle.
339
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,775
ADULT ADAM: Erica was worried
that Food in a Geoffy
340
00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:16,476
was leading Geoff
to a nervous breakdown,
341
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,746
so she was going to help him
relax with a movie.
342
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,513
See?
Isn't this nice?
343
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:23,283
Just you and me
and the stress-free
corpse comedy
344
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:24,517
of Weekend at Bernie's.
345
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,186
Babe, I appreciate it,
but I'm fine.
346
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,788
Honest.
347
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:28,922
Oh, no!
Who is this for?
348
00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:30,523
I never got the order,
and now it's gonna be late!
349
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:32,025
Geoff,
the popcorn is for you.
350
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:34,594
Oh, right. I forgot
sometimes I eat food, too.
351
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:37,030
Geoff! Geoff! Geoff?
352
00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:39,032
Sorry. You have
the same fat head as Geoff.
353
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:41,902
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm looking for a man
named Geoff!
354
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,003
Barry, be quiet!
355
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,704
There you are!
Why are you here?
356
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:46,273
And why are you
wearing a suit?
357
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,707
In no particular order...
358
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:50,944
I'm a high-powered CEO,
and the worst has happened.
359
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:52,980
Customer Murray Goldberg
got the wrong order.
360
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:55,015
He's freaking out
and wants you to fix it.
361
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,316
Oh, no.
Oh, yes!
362
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,385
I even considered
handling it myself,
363
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,120
but I came here
'cause it was easier.
364
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,254
Well, tough luck.
365
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:03,857
We're on a date,
so let the other
JTP dopes do it.
366
00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:06,559
I'm sorry, Erica.
I have to fix this.
367
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,228
(CHUCKLES)
368
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,297
People think he's alive,
but he's dead.
369
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:11,799
(CHUCKLES)
370
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:14,201
ADULT ADAM: As Geoff
abandoned Erica
to put out a fire,
371
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,136
my mom was at school
starting one.
372
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:18,738
Thank you
for meeting with us.
I'll make this quick.
373
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,640
Are you a stupid
(BLEEP) idiot?
374
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:21,708
Mom!
375
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:22,910
Whoa! Coming in hot.
376
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:25,145
I think what my mom
is trying to say
377
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:28,081
is maybe my paper deserves
a slightly higher grade.
378
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:29,516
No "maybe" about it!
379
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:31,684
Mrs. Goldberg,
this paper is filled
380
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:33,453
with typos
and run-on sentences.
381
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:36,756
So? It's also light and fun,
like a summer beach read.
382
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,491
Oh, I laughed a lot.
383
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:40,828
Mostly at how your son
and his childlike mind
384
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,429
are going to exist
in society.
385
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,531
Well, I, for one,
appreciate that concern.
386
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:46,033
Thank you for your time.
387
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:47,267
Not to mention,
Mrs. Goldberg,
388
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:50,670
it is riddled with
historical inaccuracies.
389
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:53,606
Well, I'm sorry I didn't
have time to go to the library
390
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,043
and wrestle a vagrant
for the microfiche.
391
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:58,078
Why would you go
to the library?
392
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:01,281
Because I am
helping Adam...
A little.
393
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,283
Full disclosure,
we're study buddies.
394
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:05,853
It's mostly just snacks
and moral support.
395
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,087
It's clear
what's happening here,
396
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,922
so I am gonna
change this grade.
397
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,324
Finally. An A-minus
and we're out of here.
398
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,393
It's an F for cheating.
399
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:18,398
Well, I give you an F
for "failure as an educator,"
400
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:20,300
and I am taking this
to Principal Ball.
401
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,069
Don't worry, Adam.
Mama's got this.
402
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:23,170
ADULT ADAM: But she didn't.
403
00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:24,938
Adam's suspended
for two weeks.
404
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,106
Balls!
405
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,875
This is
a terrifyingly bad paper,
406
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,576
especially
from an adult.
407
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:31,278
Unacceptable, Earl.
408
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,146
Don't take it out on Adam
just 'cause you need
409
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:36,449
to stand by your motley crew
of burnouts and sad sacks!
410
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,651
Oh, no.
You called me what I am.
411
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:40,253
Principal Ball, please!
412
00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:42,489
Two weeks at home?
Just the two of us?
413
00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:44,457
The time
does not fit the crime!
414
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,493
I suppose
there is another option.
415
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,929
The understanding
that I've clearly
learned my lesson?
416
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,097
The shunning bench.
417
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,631
(BELL TOLLS)
418
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,001
The bench where kids wait
to see the school nurse
for their lice check?
419
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:55,502
(BELL TOLLS)
420
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,004
Yes, but we spray it.
421
00:13:57,037 --> 00:14:00,407
And it's also part
of a hallowed
Quaker tradition.
422
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,841
The guilty student
sits there
423
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:05,612
while his classmates scorn him
as they casually stroll by.
424
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:06,947
(CHUCKLES)
It's a hoot.
425
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,149
Sold! Gimme
the old-timey
benchy thing.
426
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,518
Never! We accept
the full suspension.
427
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:14,454
Why? There's
a perfectly viable
shaming option available.
428
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:15,923
(BELL TOLLS)
429
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:18,458
I'd rather have Adam sitting
at home, learning from me
430
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,860
than from your lazy,
fresh-mouthed teachers.
431
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:21,995
Come on, study buddy.
432
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,696
Okey-dokey.
That works, too.
433
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,632
ADULT ADAM: While my mom
was shunning the bench,
434
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:27,634
Geoff was facing
an angry customer.
435
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,336
I ordered a cheesesteak.
436
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,071
What's this green thing
with the red things in it?
437
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,973
You mean a salad?
How am I supposed to know?
438
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:34,374
I'm so sorry.
I-I'll fix it.
439
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,009
Don't put up
with his nonsense.
440
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:37,110
He's a platinum member.
441
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:39,079
Not for long,
unless I get
a new cheesesteak.
442
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,313
But Lee's is closed.
443
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:42,649
Well, you better find out
who took mine, Barnaby Jones.
444
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,717
I mean, I guess
there's only a few houses
it could have gone to.
445
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,653
You're driving.
Wait, you're going, too?
446
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:47,787
I want to see for myself
447
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:49,990
what kind of person
takes another man's sandwich.
448
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,858
ADULT ADAM: And so the great
cheesesteak search began.
449
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:52,993
(DOORBELL RINGS)
450
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:54,094
Hello, sir.
Hello, ma'am.
451
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:56,129
Hello, sir.
I run a food-delivery service.
452
00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:57,464
Put me down for a beer,
please.
453
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,366
We're actually looking
for a missing order.
454
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,001
But you do deliver beer,
right?
455
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,803
I just wanted to confirm
that your order
was up to our standards.
456
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:06,373
Sure. But my standards
are very low.
457
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,175
One time,
I ordered a pizza.
458
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,877
Honest to God,
it had three screws on it.
459
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,045
I ate it anyway.
460
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:14,081
With the screws?
No, dumbass!
461
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:15,715
We're looking
for a lost cheesesteak.
462
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,084
Hey, here's a fun fact...
463
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:18,751
The, uh, Philly-style
steak sandwich
464
00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:20,587
was invented
in the 1930s,
465
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:23,090
but cheese was not added
until the '40s.
466
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,591
Just tell me
where my sandwich is.
467
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,059
Let me take a look.
468
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,196
Mm.
469
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:31,231
Definitely not
in the bottom of this can.
470
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,400
You know, the French
have their own version
of hide-and-seek.
471
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,534
It's called "Sardines."
472
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:37,204
A little fun twist, though,
there's only one hider.
473
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:38,838
(CHUCKLING)
Everybody else seeks.
474
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,707
He's a bit off.
I'm out of here.
475
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,609
Is he with you?
I don't see it.
476
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,511
That's it.
I'm getting a bat.
477
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:45,578
What? No!
478
00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:47,280
Hi, ma'am.
479
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:48,915
You didn't get a cheesesteak
by accident, did you?
480
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,017
In fact, I did.
481
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,084
Could I possibly
get that back?
482
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:52,585
Mm, that's gonna be
kinda tough.
483
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:53,720
I already
ate the hell out of it.
484
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,389
She reeks
of cheesy, beefy goodness!
485
00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:57,724
What are you doing?
486
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,926
You monster!
(MUFFLED) Whatever!
487
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,229
ADULT ADAM: As Geoff's
business took him
all over town,
488
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:04,564
I was at home,
and class was in session.
489
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,199
Ring-a-ding-ding.
490
00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:08,601
It's time for
the Beverly Goldberg
School of Learnin'.
491
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,370
From the same people
who brought me a C?
492
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:13,473
Woodburn had it out for us,
but I think we both know
493
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,908
if I hadn't been someone
who could've been a lawyer,
494
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,611
I could've been someone
who might've been a teacher.
495
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,280
Wow.
Wow, indeed.
496
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,448
Check out our curriculum.
497
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,816
ADAM: A book of limericks,
The Baseball Encyclopedia,
498
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,285
The Guinness Book
of World Records...
499
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,553
Superfudge?
500
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,255
These are all our books.
501
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:29,956
We're gonna learn
everything.
502
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,824
Here's our syllabus
for today.
503
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:34,261
Math, English, home ec...
504
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,096
That's us making a pie...
505
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:38,298
Lunch...
That's us eating a pie.
506
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,333
There's an hour-long
snuggle break?
507
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,901
I know it doesn't
seem like enough time,
508
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:44,237
but it could also be
one of your electives.
509
00:16:44,271 --> 00:16:45,338
This was a big mistake.
510
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,774
I shouldn't have pretended
to want your help.
511
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:50,143
Pretended?
I-I thought we were stud buds.
512
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,311
We were never stud buds!
513
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,480
And, oh, my God,
don't call it that!
514
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,814
So we're not stud buds?
515
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,617
Stop that! And no!
516
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,952
Gosh, I just wanted you
to write my paper for me,
517
00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:01,554
but you couldn't
even do that.
518
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,756
And now I gotta spend
even more time with you,
519
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:06,193
which is the thing
I didn't want
in the first place.
520
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,730
Well, forgive me for wanting
to be part of your life.
521
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,066
Message received.
522
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:20,740
ADULT ADAM:
After facing my mom's
constant attention,
523
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:22,509
even the shunning bench was
better than being at home.
524
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,977
Okay, people,
don't be shy.
525
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:28,381
It's a hallowed Quaker
tradition to rip
Mr. Goldberg a new one.
526
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,583
You're a fart!
(CHUCKLES) Nailed it.
527
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:31,984
Thank you, noble ancestors.
528
00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:34,154
You're too dumb to get
a smart person
to write your paper,
529
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,888
and I predict
early baldness for you.
530
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:37,157
Gah!
531
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:40,493
Thank you, Mr. Woodburn.
You honor our heritage.
532
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:43,196
Would anyone else like
to throw a verbal haymaker?
533
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:44,397
I'd like a turn.
534
00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:46,799
You can't be here.
She can't be here.
535
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:49,001
I read nothing in the original
parchment about this.
536
00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:50,270
Have at it.
537
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:52,272
Adam F. Goldberg,
you are a jerk
538
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:54,207
for pretending
to want to spend
time with me
539
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,842
just so
I'd write a paper for you.
540
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:57,410
Weak!
Get him where it hurts!
541
00:17:57,444 --> 00:18:00,913
His hair, his body,
his stupid glasses!
542
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:03,350
If he's not crying,
you're doing it wrong.
543
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:05,084
I was just looking
for anywhere else
544
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,686
to direct
your crazy energy!
545
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:09,189
Oh, no! Your hot mom
loves you too much.
546
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:11,424
You're a turd farmer,
Goldberg.
I shun thee!
547
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,360
I mean, everywhere I go,
there you are.
548
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:15,428
She came into my shower
with math facts.
549
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:17,330
(STUDENTS GROAN, MURMUR)
BOY: Nice.
550
00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:18,531
Yikes!
551
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,733
Okay, that was me
pretending to have
heard the bell.
552
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:23,603
People, get back
to your classes.
553
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,773
This questionable punishment
will resume after lunch.
554
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,075
Okay,
I went too far, maybe.
555
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,443
(SCOFFS) Maybe?
556
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:31,778
Fine.
557
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,713
I helped you cheat,
and that was wrong,
558
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:36,683
but do you know
how hard this is for me?
559
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:39,552
Barry and Erica are gone,
and all you do
is push me away.
560
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:42,589
Because you're all over me.
You smother me with your noms.
561
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,458
I know,
but you're my last baby.
562
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:47,694
I don't know
what I'm gonna do
when you leave, too.
563
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:49,729
Then why push me
towards college?
564
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:52,765
It was all I had.
565
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,367
You're so busy
being a young adult,
566
00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:56,102
I didn't know
how else to connect.
567
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,136
I'm sorry.
568
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,905
Me too.
569
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:01,140
It was wrong of me to take
advantage of your feelings.
570
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:05,445
But you do know we still
have time before college?
571
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:08,848
So, does that mean
we can still be
study buddies
572
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:10,850
if I promise
not to overdo it?
573
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:14,120
We both know
that's a promise
you can't keep.
574
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:17,290
But I will need
to take some study breaks
from time to time.
575
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:20,827
And when you do,
I'll be there.
576
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,430
(THE ENGLISH BEAT'S
SAVE IT FOR LATER PLAYS)
577
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:25,765
Is hugging allowed
on the shunning bench?
578
00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:27,400
* Sooner or later
579
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:29,469
* Your legs give way,
you hit the ground
580
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,304
* Save it for later
581
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:32,572
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
582
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:33,973
Food in a Geoffy.
583
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:35,908
What the hell?
584
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:37,744
I'm shutting
this whole operation down.
585
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:38,845
Barry, you're fired.
586
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:39,979
Fine!
587
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,181
I'm taking my Zen garden
as severance.
588
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:43,316
Erica,
what are you doing?
589
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:45,452
What I should have done
days ago.
590
00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:47,787
Geoff, you've always
taken care of me,
591
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:50,423
especially last year,
when I was finding myself.
592
00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:52,892
But now it's time for me
to take care of you.
593
00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:54,494
Unless you like
this terrible business.
594
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,828
I hate it so much!
595
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,129
I've gotten
three speeding tickets,
596
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:58,298
Barry's spent all my money,
597
00:19:58,331 --> 00:19:59,666
all the neighborhood dads
are weirdos,
598
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,634
and my car permanently
smells like moo shu pork.
599
00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:03,169
Then why'd
you keep doing it?
600
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,037
Because I thought
it was better
than doing nothing.
601
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:06,473
I need purpose in my life.
602
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:08,308
And we'll find it...
Together.
603
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:10,209
But I was
driving you crazy.
604
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:12,111
You know what's driving me
even crazier?
605
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:13,546
Seeing you like this.
606
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:16,416
You need to take your time
and figure out
what makes you happy.
607
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,286
Right now, that's you.
608
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,120
* Sooner or later,
your legs give way...
609
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:22,689
ADULT ADAM: Sometimes
it takes messing up
610
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:26,058
to realize just what
your life is missing,
611
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:28,194
especially when the fear
of missing someone
612
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,196
is what drives you
in the first place.
613
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:34,801
In the end, when the people
you love have your back,
614
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,469
you can do anything.
615
00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:38,338
Or just nothing at all.
616
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:39,839
* You run away, run away *
617
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:43,743
Ha! This is my favorite.
618
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,011
All right, come here.
619
00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:47,013
We're being video-camera'd
right now.
620
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:48,080
Yeah.
621
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:49,749
(BELL DINGS)
622
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:53,853
I wanted to
invite you here
to apologize
623
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:56,022
for Murray's
cheesesteak witch hunt.
624
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:57,189
Your cooking
must be slipping
625
00:20:57,223 --> 00:20:58,591
if Murray's been
ordering out so much.
626
00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:00,192
Yeah, I'll say.
627
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:01,761
Your husband's
at the drive-thru so often,
628
00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:03,229
they gave him
his own lane.
629
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,732
I like you.
We should power-walk.
630
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:06,866
DIGBY: Fun fact
about walking...
631
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:09,602
The animal with
the fastest recorded walk,
632
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:11,404
African bush elephant.
633
00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:13,540
I thought it was
the last woman
you tried to talk to.
634
00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:14,607
Oh, no. She ran.
635
00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:16,676
You guys have
some fun banter going on.
636
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:19,211
Yeah. It's been a while
since we were all together.
637
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:20,580
Afternoon, everybody.
638
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,014
ALL: Ned!
639
00:21:22,048 --> 00:21:23,115
Beer me, please.
640
00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:24,951
Oh, I'm sorry.
We just ran out.
641
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:26,419
I'll be at the bar
down the street.
642
00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:28,455
Me too.
Ooh, yeah.
I'm coming.
643
00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:29,556
They seem fun.
48456
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof