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1
00:00:01,269 --> 00:00:03,637
ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s,
National Lampoon's Vacation
2
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:06,274
was the best
road-trip comedy ever.
3
00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:08,776
Yep, the Griswold family
tore across America,
4
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:11,179
and no one loved it
more than my mom.
5
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:14,715
Yes! This movie has everything
I love and deserve!
6
00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,950
So pack your bags
so I can unpack them
7
00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:18,986
and then repack them
again properly
8
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:22,456
because the Goldbergs
are going on vacation!
9
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:23,691
I don't know, Mom.
10
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:26,127
That family's trip
seemed super stressful
and difficult.
11
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,528
And they
like each other.
12
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:29,029
But we have one week left
13
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:31,599
before Barry and Erica
jet off to college.
14
00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:32,766
It's 10 minutes away.
15
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:33,967
On nice days,
I might walk.
16
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:36,937
And Adam's starting life
as a high-school
upperclassman.
17
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,472
Now when the juniors
throw food at me...
18
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,174
(SNIFFS)
...they'll be my peers.
19
00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:42,376
Such a dork.
You shame us daily.
20
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:45,946
So we're gonna take one last
unforgettable family vacation
21
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:48,816
before everybody starts
the next big chapter
in their lives!
22
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:49,983
What do you say?
23
00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:51,719
We love you,
but pass.
24
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:54,822
You're gonna pass
on a trip to Disneyland?
25
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:57,191
Oh, balls!
I love you now!
26
00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:59,193
Ah, that's right!
Embrace your mama!
27
00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:00,894
Star Wars just opened
a ride there!
28
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:02,163
It's called "Star Tours"!
29
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,132
You get to travel
to the forest moon
of Endor!
30
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,500
Well, I "Endor" you.
Boop!
31
00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:08,236
Even you can't ruin this.
32
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:11,139
Star Wars teaming up with
Disney is just so big!
33
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:13,541
Sure, I wish they'd dedicate
a whole land to Star Wars,
34
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,543
but that's just
a little boy's dream!
35
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,545
(LAUGHS) Barry?
36
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:20,348
Wanna give mama a huggy
'cause she's
the best in the game?
37
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:22,150
I'm not going
to Disneyland!
38
00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:24,585
I'm a grown adult man
who will be starting
39
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,854
a fully accredited
university in a week.
40
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,756
But you love
that Snow White.
41
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,024
You've had a crush on her
since you could talk.
42
00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:32,493
Which was late
for your age.
43
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:33,694
But still.
44
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,129
Sure, Ms. White
has pretty hair
45
00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:37,030
and she's patient
with those dwarves
46
00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:38,599
in a way you know
you'd just vibe with her,
47
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:39,933
but not at all!
48
00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,068
Who cares!
49
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,903
I can't believe
we're flying to California!
50
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,905
Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no!
51
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,607
That won't
give me enough time
52
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,108
squished together
with my squishies.
53
00:01:48,142 --> 00:01:49,843
(CHUCKLES)
We're driving!
54
00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:52,146
To the airport
and then we're flying?
55
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:53,547
When will I learn
not to hug
56
00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:55,383
until I hear
all of the details?
57
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,751
It'll be just like
the Griswolds.
We're gonna see America!
58
00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,720
This America?
I've seen it.
59
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,255
It's all corn.
60
00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:04,758
Look, I just finished
following the Grateful Dead
in a van with Geoff.
61
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,760
I'm not
going back out there.
Me neither!
62
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,762
If you don't,
I won't pay for college.
63
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,130
Yay, everyone's in!
64
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:11,399
What's all the noise?
65
00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,534
I can barely hear myself
eat my creme cookies.
66
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,203
We're driving
to Disneyland!
67
00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:17,205
I get the feeling
I don't have a say in this.
68
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,106
Hmm, I get that
feeling, too! Yay!
69
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,274
Why did I come in here?
70
00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:21,809
And I got a Polaroid
71
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,377
so I can take a photo diary
of our trip!
72
00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:24,445
Come on,
squeeze together.
73
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,946
I don't want
to be near your dad.
74
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,415
He smells like
coffee and onions.
75
00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:30,284
BEVERLY: Squeeze in.
You ain't exactly cinnamon
and sugar, sweetheart.
76
00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,253
I don't know
where my body ends
and Adam's begins.
77
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,422
This trip is already
the worst thing that's
ever happened to me!
78
00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:35,956
Just take
the damn picture!
79
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:41,462
* Holiday ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-ad *
80
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,131
ADULT ADAM: It was
the last week of summer,
1980-something,
81
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,833
and the Goldbergs
were about to hit the road.
82
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:48,502
Of course that meant my dad
was excited about one thing,
83
00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:49,737
saving money.
84
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,104
Lose the bathrobe.
85
00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:54,908
It's a traditional Jedi cloak
revered the galaxy over.
86
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:57,278
Well, I'd revere
a tank top
if I were you,
87
00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,413
because I'm not using
the air conditioning.
88
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:01,482
You're not cheaping out
on this trip, Murray.
89
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,950
We have
to make it perfect
90
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,585
so that no matter
how old they get
91
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,119
or where
they are in the world,
92
00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:08,021
they'll want to do this
for years to come.
93
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,657
An annual trip?
94
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,292
I was just sitting,
enjoying my cookies.
95
00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:13,193
Now our financial future
is in doubt?
96
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:14,695
Good news, everyone!
97
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,430
I'm bringing my banjo.
98
00:03:16,464 --> 00:03:18,031
No.
Roger that.
99
00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:20,601
Attention,
uneducated masses!
100
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:21,935
As you all know,
101
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,671
I'll be attending college
in a week,
102
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,473
so I need to be
in tip-top shape...
103
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:26,874
Mind and body.
104
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,175
Is that why you're holding
105
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,378
your mom's
titanium leg pretzel?
106
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:32,045
This thigh-blasting
machine
107
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:33,847
is my ticket
to physical dominance.
108
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,683
Just do your dumb thing
in the car.
109
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,150
Where's your sister?
We got to get going.
110
00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:38,519
Saying goodbye
to her boyfriend.
111
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,820
You really
don't want to come
112
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:42,356
and be jammed
in a station wagon
with my family for a week?
113
00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:43,691
And I answered
my own question.
114
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:44,892
Look, I'll be
on the road, too.
115
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,794
The Dead have
four more concerts
left this summer.
116
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,562
I'm hoping by the last one,
I finally like them.
117
00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,731
(HORN HONKS)
Erica! Let's go!
118
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,300
(ENGINE STARTS)
Um...
119
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,668
One more thing,
we need to talk.
120
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:55,736
Oh? What is it?
121
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:56,837
(HORN HONKS)
Erica!
122
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:57,905
Gas is burning!
123
00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:59,039
You know what?
It's nothing.
124
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,474
It... It can wait until
after your trip.
125
00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:02,510
I don't want to spoil it.
(HONKING CONTINUES)
126
00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:04,878
I better get moving, too.
B-bye!
127
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,647
Erica!
128
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:07,981
(TIRES SCREECH)
BEVERLY: We're doing it!
129
00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:10,050
The Goldbergs
are going on vacation!
130
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,753
* I found out long ago *
131
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:15,188
(SONG SLOWS, STOPS)
132
00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:16,990
BARRY: (CHUCKLES)
We couldn't even leave!
133
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,726
ADULT ADAM:
But eventually we did.
134
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,928
And once we hit the highway,
it was smooth sailing.
135
00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:23,764
Of course, there were
some bumps inside the car.
136
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,866
Gah! You keep
smashing into me!
Stop it!
137
00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:27,535
No can do, Ad-Rock.
138
00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:30,170
And be warned,
as my muscles grow,
expand,
139
00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,440
and explode outward,
I'll need more space.
140
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,107
Why do I always have
to sit in the middle?
141
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,843
'Cause windows
are for college men,
142
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,210
not high school losers!
143
00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:39,279
Yeah, you keep
calling yourself
a college man,
144
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:41,549
but come next week,
you're in for
a rude awakening.
145
00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:42,683
What's that
supposed to mean?
146
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,452
It means you might be
in college,
147
00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:46,253
but you're just gonna be
a lowly freshman,
148
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,221
totally starting
from scratch socially.
149
00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:50,758
Have you not seen
the work I've been
doing on my thighs?
150
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,025
College is gonna love me.
151
00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:54,562
Or the safety of
the only world
you've known
152
00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:55,629
will have vanished,
153
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,531
and you'll discover
that there's no place
154
00:04:57,565 --> 00:05:00,634
for an emotionally
out-of-control doof
with a thigh device.
155
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,936
What?
I am not an emotionally
out-of-control doof!
156
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,037
You are!
157
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,639
Adam, quit working
your brother up.
158
00:05:05,673 --> 00:05:06,874
He's gonna
strain his groin.
159
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,942
Erica, switch seats
with me, please.
160
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:11,779
Hey, if a guy says
he needs to talk,
is that bad?
161
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,781
Ooh.
Is that a good "ooh"?
162
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,616
Uh.
Is that a good "uh"?
163
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,950
You and Geoff
are toast!
164
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,387
And not good toast
with tons of marmalade
and butter.
165
00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,822
Bad toast that's burnt
and breaking up with you.
166
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,757
He's not
breaking up with me!
167
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:25,459
He just got real serious,
168
00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,294
and then said he didn't
want to ruin my vacation
169
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,397
by telling me something
and sped off and...
170
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:30,898
Oh, my God, Geoff's
breaking up with me!
171
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:31,965
You should call him.
172
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,266
How?
He's on the road, too!
173
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,968
I guess you just
won't know for a week.
174
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,770
But hey,
look on the bright side...
175
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:37,905
Star Wars.
176
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:38,972
Yeah, that sounds fun
177
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,675
and so much more important
than my relationship!
178
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:42,943
BEVERLY:
You know what's fun?
179
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:44,478
A sing-along!
(ERICA GROANS)
180
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:45,646
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, come on!
181
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,781
I'll start us all off.
182
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:49,483
* Row, row, row your boat
183
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:51,118
* Gently down the stream
184
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,185
Jump in!
185
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,987
* Merrily, merrily,
merrily, merrily
186
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,122
* Life is but a dream
187
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:56,189
Anyone now!
188
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:58,158
* Row, row, row your boat
189
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,660
* Gently down the stream
190
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:00,928
There's your cue!
191
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,496
* Merrily, merrily,
merrily, merrily
192
00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:03,597
* Life is but a dream
193
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:04,665
Make it yours.
194
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,600
* Row, row,
row your boat
195
00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:08,001
* Gently down the stream
196
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,102
Just the girls!
197
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,104
* Merrily, merrily,
merrily, merrily
198
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:15,443
* Life is but a dre-e-e-am *
199
00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:17,144
(LAUGHS)
200
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:18,446
That was great!
201
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:21,815
ADULT ADAM: Yep,
our vacation was off
to a slow start.
202
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,617
But somewhere
along the open road,
203
00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:26,053
things were about
to kick into high gear.
204
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,121
What the hell
is this nut job doing?
205
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,390
Hey! Go around!
206
00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:32,826
I think she's flirting
with you, Murray.
207
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:35,128
Whoa, it's just like
in the movie!
208
00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,363
But when you see it
in real life,
209
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,798
it just comes off
as wildly reckless!
210
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,801
You're being
very aggressive!
211
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,169
He's spoken for!
212
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,236
Show her
your wedding ring!
213
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,238
I think
she's eyeballing me.
214
00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:46,574
Move your melon, Murray,
215
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:49,076
so I can enchant her
with a coy wink.
216
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,210
This can't be real.
217
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,213
Oh, it's real, all right.
218
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,883
My fruit guy's nephew
was seduced by a road hussy
219
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,485
and he woke up in a bathtub
220
00:06:57,518 --> 00:07:00,387
missing his kidney, spleen,
corneas, and rectum.
221
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,089
There are road hussies?
222
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,491
Geoff's on the road!
223
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,558
And single.
224
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:05,759
We don't know that!
225
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,228
(ENGINE REVS)
226
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,531
ADULT ADAM: As Pops'
blonde beauty sped away,
227
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,432
we headed towards
our first pit stop,
228
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:14,034
the Old West.
229
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:17,505
See, back in 1980-something,
it was 1880-something.
230
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:20,007
Would you look
at this place?
231
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,109
It's like
stepping back in time!
232
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,545
The hotel room prices
are certainly up-to-date.
233
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:25,913
SHERIFF: Howdy, folks.
234
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:29,517
Welcome to Durango Gulch,
population 237.
235
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,118
Oops.
236
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:33,020
Looks like 236.
237
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:34,555
Funny stuff,
Quick Draw McGraw.
238
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,089
But, um,
where's the pay phones?
239
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,925
It's the 19th century,
ma'am.
240
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:41,228
I don't reckon to know
what hifalutin contraption
you're speaking about.
241
00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:43,564
Okay, so you're just gonna
keep doing the thing?
242
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:45,298
Great.
I'll be in the saloon.
243
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:46,934
(GRUNTING)
244
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,269
Ooh, looks like we got
a real cowboy here.
245
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,804
You just step
off the trail,
pardner?
246
00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:52,873
I'm walking like this
because I blasted my thighs
247
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,975
with unbridled intensity
for 300 miles.
248
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,443
How would
you two little wranglers
249
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,111
like to be my deputies?
250
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,379
(BADGE CLATTERS)
251
00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:01,381
"Little wrangler"?
252
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:04,284
I'm a man who could grow
twice the mustache you have
253
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,119
except then
you'd be humiliated,
254
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,220
and I'd become sheriff,
255
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:08,989
and I don't want
that responsibility.
256
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,325
Ohh... Ow, ow. Ohh.
257
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:15,495
Not cool, man!
Not cool!
258
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:18,131
Yeah, I don't think
he totally gets
what this place is.
259
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,468
There's no way
he's breaking up with me.
260
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,671
I mean, look at me.
I'm a catch.
261
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:25,673
I guess
I am a little bossy,
262
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,107
but what man
doesn't like that?
263
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,911
Damn it!
He's so leaving me!
264
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:31,979
Love isn't real!
265
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,413
Neither is your ID.
266
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:34,848
Oh, sure,
you don't have phones,
267
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,650
but you check
my fake driver's license?
268
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:37,751
Pick a century!
269
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,824
Yo, wanna go ride
a dead-eyed mule in a circle?
270
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,192
It's super sad!
271
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:48,061
No! I'm not going on
some dumb kid's ride.
Just leave me alone.
272
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:50,564
Are you really still upset
that I accurately suggested
273
00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:52,733
you're not ready for the next
major step in your life?
274
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:56,169
Please, your devastating words
had no effect on me.
275
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,638
I know I'm a man!
276
00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:00,007
(ALL WHOOPING)
277
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,642
SHERIFF: Oh, no!
278
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:04,011
Bandits have surrounded
the stagecoach!
279
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,112
And I'm gonna prove it!
280
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:06,980
Is there
one man brave enough
281
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:09,850
to stop these banditos
with this here lasso?
282
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:13,020
I am that one man,
Fake Sheriff.
283
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,788
You know your way
around a rope, son?
284
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:16,056
Of course I know ropes.
285
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:18,325
I've played tug-of-war
and the board game Clue...
286
00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:21,028
But we lost that piece,
so we use an old checker.
287
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,197
Now just swing this thing
in a slow circular pattern.
288
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,634
Yah!
289
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,368
Yah!
290
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,469
Yah!
291
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,171
Yah! Yah!
292
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:33,173
(GLASS SHATTERS)
293
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:35,375
Is that one of those
cheap plate-glass windows
294
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,844
that cowboys are always
crashing through?
295
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:38,045
It is not.
296
00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:41,214
MURRAY: Morons!
297
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:44,484
I mean, who gets kicked
out of an imaginary
Western town?
298
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,319
Those rooms
were non-refundable!
299
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:47,621
Well,
this is just perfect.
300
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:49,222
Where are we supposed
to stay tonight?
301
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,324
Don't you worry
about me.
302
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,898
Hey, Al.
Ready to go?
303
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,366
You know it, sweetie.
304
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:01,835
I'm gonna miss you guys.
305
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,671
You know,
you're welcome to stay.
306
00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:05,873
I... I'm being polite.
Punch it!
307
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:07,540
(TIRES SQUEAL)
308
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,109
BEVERLY: Okay.
309
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,944
We're still together mostly.
310
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:13,246
Don't worry,
I've already thought of
311
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,082
a cheap, available place
for us to sleep.
312
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,951
ADULT ADAM:
That night, our hotel
didn't have four stars.
313
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:19,119
It had four wheels.
314
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:20,788
Stop fluffing me,
I'm not a pillow!
315
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:21,889
Then get softer!
316
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,024
Will you two dopes
shut up?
317
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,794
My God, this trip sucks.
318
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,595
At least it's the last one
we'll ever take together.
319
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,765
Until Mom forces us
to do this all again
next year.
320
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:34,601
Dummy, we're going off
to college.
321
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,037
We're not doing
this again. Ever.
322
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,272
ERICA: Yeah, we're
not just moving out.
323
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,208
We're moving on
for good.
324
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:43,276
ADULT ADAM: In that moment,
I realized our family
325
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,278
was truly going
their separate ways.
326
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,580
No more crazy adventures
with my brother or sister.
327
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,249
And no more middle seat.
328
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:50,617
I'm okay with it.
329
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,186
But there was one person
who would never be
okay with it.
330
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,091
ADULT ADAM:
Our family vacation was still
on track for Disneyland,
331
00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,427
but my mom's mind
was on a different path.
332
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,095
Murray, the kids aren't
gonna go away to college
333
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:04,331
and never come back,
right?
I dunno.
334
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,099
Sure they're growing up,
but they love us
335
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:08,736
and want to stay
in our lives forever!
I dunno.
336
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:11,004
My children will spend
every summer with me
337
00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:12,605
until the day I die!
(MUMBLES)
338
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:14,141
And even then,
they're gonna carry my urn
339
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,909
on every vacation
they ever take.
340
00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:18,111
Of course!
Well, you're finally
agreeing with me?
341
00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:20,113
Of course
they're screwing me
at the pump!
342
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,149
$9 to fill up a tank?
343
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,518
Our babies are choosing
to de-latch
from our collective bosom
344
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:28,155
and all you care about
is gas mileage!
345
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,422
What do you want from me?
346
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:31,124
I don't know
what those morons
are gonna do.
347
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:32,525
But I do know
they're here now,
348
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:35,362
so let's, uh, drive around
or, uh, whatever.
349
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,496
That's right!
350
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,965
They're with us now!
351
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:40,100
So if we make this trip
extra special,
352
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,835
they're gonna want
to come back for more!
353
00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:43,570
(GASPS)
Yeah, I dunno.
354
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:46,006
ADULT ADAM: As my mom
was trying to keep
her family together,
355
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:49,209
my sister was trying
to keep her relationship
from falling apart.
356
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:50,944
Hey, Geoff, it's Erica.
357
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:54,281
Just checking in to see
what you meant by,
"We need to talk."
358
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:57,350
Probably just wanted to say
how we have no problems
359
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,119
and we're a perfect couple.
360
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:01,855
Okay, well, have fun
on the road, bye!
361
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:04,657
Unfortunately, she couldn't
leave just one message.
362
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:07,060
Here's what
"We need to talk"
means to me.
363
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:08,561
It means
we have a problem.
364
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:09,863
So is... Is it me?
365
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,231
You're the problem, Geoff!
366
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,833
Maybe I don't want you!
367
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,567
Come back to me,
my widdle Geoffy-weffy.
368
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:15,668
You're a butt!
369
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,470
And not just
the tiny part of the butt,
370
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:18,538
but the whole mound.
371
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:21,108
The cheeks,
the smelly region,
all of it.
372
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,311
Okey-doke.
I think I got it.
373
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,378
Thanks, Dr. Schwartz.
374
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,546
Oh, I almost forgot.
375
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,481
Geoffrey called and passed on
a message of his own.
376
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:29,549
What did he say?
377
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,985
He said he needs
to tell you
in person,
378
00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:34,321
but it's big
and possibly upsetting.
379
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:36,423
That doesn't help at all.
It just makes
everything worse!
380
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,757
Sure thing, honey.
Bye now.
381
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,194
Why didn't you
get a slushie?
382
00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:42,729
They had your favorite...
Blue.
383
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,365
Real men don't drink
that delicious crap.
384
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:46,834
They drink
boiling-hot coffee.
385
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,235
But you hate coffee.
386
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,203
That was Yesterday Barry.
387
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,873
But now my taste buds
and skittish tummy
have matured.
388
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,010
How could you put this
in your body?
389
00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:59,012
Ugh!
390
00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:00,380
I love it.
391
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:03,516
Okay, Bar,
clearly I freaked you out
about starting college...
392
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:04,751
I'm not freaked out!
393
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,086
If anything,
I'm freaked in!
394
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,421
That doesn't mean anything.
You don't mean anything!
395
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,523
You're a tiny boy
who doesn't know
the struggles
396
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:13,026
of a fully grown
college gentleman!
397
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:14,895
(GULPING)
398
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:15,963
Hot! Hot!
399
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,400
This is hard to watch.
400
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,836
But the good news is
we'll be in Anaheim
in two days.
401
00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,237
Change of plans!
402
00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:27,407
I've got a surefire way
to make sure everybody
loves this vacation...
403
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,376
Make it way longer!
404
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:30,643
Oh, balls.
405
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:33,881
We are gonna hit
every major attraction
from here to California.
406
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,048
But that'll
take forever.
407
00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:36,483
What about
my "Star Tours" ride?
408
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:39,719
Schmoopie,
it's about the journey,
not the destination.
409
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:42,122
Ha! You have
to appreciate
the journey!
410
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,892
Ah, see?
Barry's excited!
Who else?
411
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,294
Might as well,
my relationship
is probably over.
412
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,296
See? Another
one of my babies
didn't say no!
413
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,363
Murray?
414
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,899
I don't care what we do,
as long as it's free.
415
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,000
Ah! See?
416
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:56,069
Everyone's in and happy
and we're making memories,
417
00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:58,705
and this is gonna be the best
Goldbergs vacation ever!
418
00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:00,007
(LAUGHS)
419
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,975
Say, "Cheese"!
420
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:04,511
ADULT ADAM:
And so we saw America.
421
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:07,114
In all its weird
and magnificent glory.
422
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:09,216
There were sculptures
made of cars,
423
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,118
mountains made of faces,
424
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:13,320
one big hole.
425
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,122
But what took
our breath away the most
426
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:18,091
was the crappy motel our dad
insisted staying at.
427
00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:20,593
This is the kind of motel
where people live full-time.
428
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:21,828
Uh, it's gross.
429
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,130
It's cozy.
430
00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:24,797
There's police tape
around the pool.
431
00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:28,335
That shows the police
have already been here.
So it's safe.
432
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,503
Look! They got one
of those Magic Fingers
bed massagers.
433
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,604
BEVERLY: No!
434
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,306
Nobody touch anything
435
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,308
until I hit it with
some Lysol Pine action.
436
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:36,643
I'm turning it on!
437
00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:38,979
My thighs and tummy muscles
are still sore!
438
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,216
(SIGHS) Let's soothe
my aching bones!
439
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,484
(BED VIBRATING)
440
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,987
(VIBRATING INTENSIFIES)
Lemme turn it down.
441
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:50,023
Damn it, moron!
442
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,458
They don't have
any more rooms!
443
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,693
What do you do
with these things?
444
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,329
I've got a super fun idea
that solves everything!
445
00:14:57,864 --> 00:14:59,599
Who can sleep like this?
446
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:02,235
ADULT ADAM: Yeah,
we barely slept a wink
that night.
447
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:03,903
And we were so exhausted
the next morning,
448
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:05,738
everyone passed out
in the car.
449
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,174
And I mean everyone.
450
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,446
(ALL SCREAMING)
451
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:27,060
(BREATHING SHALLOWLY)
452
00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:29,562
Do you think this will
affect our time at Disneyland?
453
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,933
Barry,
this is all your fault!
454
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,702
You and your stupid
bed massager.
455
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:38,071
I know! I'm not a man!
456
00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:41,274
I'm starting college,
but the truth is
I still feel like a boy.
457
00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:42,875
Like sad, pathetic
little Adam here.
458
00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:43,943
Hey!
459
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,112
Will you shut up?
460
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,279
I mean, look at this!
461
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,381
Now I'll never
get to a phone
and learn the truth
462
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:49,816
that I definitely
don't wanna know!
463
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:50,950
My God!
464
00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:53,053
You're both
just selfish jerks!
465
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:54,221
You know,
I actually thought
466
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,589
I was gonna
miss you next year,
but good riddance!
467
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:57,757
Stop!
468
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,092
Tell me the truth...
469
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:02,162
Are you all gonna head
out the door for college
and never look back?
470
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,932
I see.
471
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,034
(SIGHS)
472
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,902
Every one of these pictures
breaks my heart.
473
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,105
You all look sad or angry
or miserable.
474
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,107
And that is not
what I wanted.
475
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:16,109
Bevy...
No!
476
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,278
Let's just go home
and be done with it.
477
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,381
I can't take another day
of family vacation
478
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,483
if this is the last one
I'm ever gonna have.
479
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:30,057
ADULT ADAM:
Our car and our mom
were broken,
480
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,991
and all we wanted
was to go home.
481
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:33,760
I thought we had
more suitcases
than this.
482
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:34,827
We did.
483
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,229
At least this
horrible trip
is over.
484
00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:38,798
ADULT ADAM: But it wasn't.
Not for my dad.
485
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,901
He was about to head down
a road we never expected.
486
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:43,503
You know what I think?
487
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,138
I think you're all
(BLEEP) in the head.
488
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:46,839
Whoa!
Motel language!
489
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:47,940
You're just
gonna give up?
490
00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:49,008
Yeah.
Kinda.
491
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,243
Do we have a choice?
492
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:53,146
Your mom worked her ass off
to plan you a great vacation,
493
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,847
and I didn't know why.
494
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,483
But, damn it, I do now.
495
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:58,818
Murray,
what are you saying?
496
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,620
I'm not sure
about the future,
497
00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:02,855
but right here, right now,
498
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:05,658
there's no amount of money
I wouldn't spend
499
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,694
for my family
to have a great vacation.
500
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:08,861
Dad's suddenly
thoughtful!
501
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,363
He must've banged his head
in the accident!
502
00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:11,464
Are you serious?
503
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,766
To keep
this family together,
504
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,802
I would spend
every last penny.
505
00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:17,770
(CAR HORN HONKS)
506
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:19,206
Hey, Goldbergs,
need a lift?
507
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,074
Thank God!
Everybody get in!
Come on!
508
00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:22,942
Geoff!
How did you find us?
509
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,212
Well, you left my dad
a lot of very upsetting
messages,
510
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,013
so I drove here
as fast as I could.
511
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,981
I followed your suitcases
like bread crumbs!
512
00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:30,883
So, what did you want
to talk to me about?
513
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,287
Well...
514
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:37,824
I had such an amazing time
doing nothing this summer,
515
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:40,360
that I want it
to continue.
516
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:41,761
I'm not going to school
in the fall.
517
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:43,896
Oh, my God!
That's it?
518
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:46,399
Well, yeah. I mean,
it's a pretty big deal.
519
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:47,734
My dad's not thrilled.
520
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,035
And your messages
didn't exactly
521
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,703
fill him with hope
for my future.
522
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,839
You jerk!
I thought you were
breaking up with me!
523
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,241
What? Never.
524
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,942
You're the greatest thing
that ever happened to me.
525
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:57,910
I never doubted it.
526
00:17:57,944 --> 00:18:00,580
ADULT ADAM: Turns out
some trips are about
finding your way,
527
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,715
and not losing track
of where you're headed.
528
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,851
Hey, Bar.
About what I said.
529
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:06,519
No, you were right.
530
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:07,754
I'm not ready for college.
531
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:08,888
Of course you are.
532
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,590
You're Big Tasty.
533
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:13,760
You attack everything you do
with the full force
of your being.
534
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:16,429
Trust me, college is gonna be
a piece of cake for you.
535
00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:17,764
You really think so?
536
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:18,931
I know so.
537
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,033
Thanks, Ad-Rock.
538
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:23,536
ADULT ADAM: Venturing out
can be scary,
539
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:24,737
but it's easier
to take that trek
540
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,606
when you're riding
with the people you love.
541
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,008
Family vacations are hard.
542
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:31,944
They're stressful
and expensive,
543
00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:33,946
and uncomfortable.
544
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,448
But the thing
that makes them great
545
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,884
are the memories
of doing it all together.
546
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,419
We're really here.
547
00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:41,288
Thank you, Mama.
548
00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,623
Anything for you, schmoo.
549
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,892
Maybe next year we can go
to Walt Disney World.
550
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:46,959
That sounds pretty cool.
551
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,127
Yeah, I guess I'd try it.
552
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,363
Wait... You guys
would wanna do this again?
553
00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:51,931
I'm open to it.
(GASPS)
554
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,267
Ah! My schmoopies
will be with me forever!
555
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:56,636
(CAR HORN HONKS)
556
00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,738
(PARKING BRAKE CLICKS)
Are we too late?
557
00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:01,474
We got lost.
Intentionally.
558
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,443
Just in time, Pops!
We're running for it!
559
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:06,246
(CHARIOTS OF FIRE PLAYS)
560
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,497
Oh, sorry,
park's closed.
561
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:26,833
What? Oh, no!
S-someone do something!
562
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,501
I'm here!
(LAUGHS)
563
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:31,070
Don't worry, schmoo.
Mama's got this.
564
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:32,138
ADULT ADAM: In that moment,
565
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,773
Beverly Goldberg
did what she did best...
566
00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:36,175
She lied her ass off.
567
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,978
She told elaborate,
far-fetched tales
of our journey.
568
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:41,348
Apparently,
we were attacked
by bald eagles
569
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,250
and a motorcycle gang?
570
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:46,253
There was a tornado,
and then a tsunami.
571
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,655
And then another tornado.
572
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:52,325
She wove a tapestry of lies
so intricate, so beautiful,
573
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,461
by the end, none of us knew
what was real.
574
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:56,028
...and that is when
little Adam
575
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:59,098
had to help his grandpa
by sucking out the venom.
576
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:02,335
Wow, you guys
have been through
a whole lot as a family.
577
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:04,471
And you know what?
I had no idea
there were zebras in Arizona.
578
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,339
Zebras are the piranhas
of the sand.
579
00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:09,008
Well, you know what?
All I meant was
the park is closed now.
580
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,377
But it opens
in 15 minutes.
581
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,811
(LAUGHS)
582
00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:13,780
Why didn't you
say something?
583
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,548
Well, I tried, but you were
going on and on and on.
584
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:17,384
But go on in!
Come on,
the park's all yours!
585
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,151
Rusty, you're the best!
(CHUCKLES)
586
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:20,987
Let's do it, Adam!
Let's go ride "Star Tours"!
587
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,355
No, no!
588
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:25,224
I think I know something
that would be more fun
for the whole family.
589
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:26,693
* Holiday road
590
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,696
ADULT ADAM: We finally made it
to the happiest place
on Earth.
591
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:32,131
And as magical as it was,
thanks to my mom,
592
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:35,335
I realized the best part
of the Goldberg vacation
593
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:36,703
was the journey.
594
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,506
To this day,
we still travel
as a family.
595
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,474
Of course,
it never gets easier,
596
00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:43,643
but I wouldn't trade it
for the world.
597
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,812
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
598
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:50,650
* Holiday
ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-ad
599
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:55,688
* Holiday
ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-ad *
600
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:08,535
Wakey-wakey!
Get out! I was
just dreaming about
601
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,236
scoring a touchdown
for the Eagles!
602
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,538
But I brought you
breakfast.
603
00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:12,772
Well, finally!
604
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,941
I've been trying
to take my meals
in my room for years.
605
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:16,208
Gimme!
606
00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:17,677
This is
a whole lotta liquids.
607
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:19,446
All part of
a balanced breakfast.
608
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:21,948
No! My juices!
609
00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:23,916
Oh, no! My hot coffee!
610
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:26,218
Oh, no! Adam! Hit stop!
611
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:28,187
I should have never
stolen this from the motel!
612
00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:29,489
Yeah,
I'm gonna miss you.
45010
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