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ADULT ADAM:
Back in the '80s,
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00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:03,969
there was nothing more exciting than the chance of a snow day.
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00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,304
We all remember the morning ritual.
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00:00:05,306 --> 00:00:08,874
We'd wake up at dawn, hop out of bed at lightning speed,
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00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:11,210
rush downstairs, grab your radio,
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00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:12,077
and pray to the snow gods.
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00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:14,913
REPORTER:
The following schools are closed in Montgomery County...
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00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:16,915
It's gonna happen.
I can feel it.
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00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,183
Shut up.
You're gonna jinx it.
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00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,952
Please, God,
if you give us a snow day,
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00:00:19,954 --> 00:00:22,287
I promise I'll be a good boy
for the rest of my life.
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00:00:22,289 --> 00:00:25,391
...Abington High closed, Germantown West closed,
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00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:27,426
William Penn Academy... open.
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00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:28,594
Balls!
Why?
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00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:30,496
I'm back to being
a bad boy.
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00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:31,497
This is on you,
Mother Nature.
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00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,265
ADULT ADAM: Sadly, we were that one school
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00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,900
that never closed for snow.
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00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:36,402
REPORTER:
Abington High closed,
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00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:37,503
Germantown West closed...
Please, please,
please.
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00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:41,640
Say it. Say "closed."
I will fist-punch the radio
if you don't say "closed."
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00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:42,741
...William Penn Academy open.
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00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,977
Balls! Balls!
I hate everything!
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00:00:44,979 --> 00:00:47,346
I'm a man of my word!
Ow!
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00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:49,548
ADULT ADAM: Every time, it was the same heartbreak...
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00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,683
Until the snow gods finally showed mercy.
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00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,385
REPORTER:
William Penn Academy... closed.
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00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,722
Wait... Am I still asleep,
or did he just say
William Penn is closed?
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00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:58,824
He said "closed."
School is closed.
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00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:01,560
This is the best day
of my life!
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00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,028
(LAUGHING AND CHEERING)
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00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:05,464
I feel so alive!
(LAUGHING)
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00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:11,470
Yeah!
Snow day means a full day
of snuggle time with mama!
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00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:12,671
Yeah!
Get in here! Get it!
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00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:15,607
I'm so happy, I don't have
the will to fight her off!
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(LAUGHING)
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ALL: (CHANTING) Snow day!
Snow day! Snow day!
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¶ I'm twisted up inside
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00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:26,718
¶ But nonetheless I feel the need to say
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00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:29,788
¶ I don't know the future
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00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:33,525
¶ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶
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00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:35,894
ADULT ADAM:
It was snow day, 1980-something,
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00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:38,263
and my sister was seizing the day...
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00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,132
...by sleeping through it.
Aah!
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00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:42,101
Oh, good.
You're finally up.
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00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:43,102
God! What the hell?
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00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:45,170
Someone was snoring
the day away, lazybones.
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00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:49,174
Mom, today is a day
that's been gifted to me
by the universe.
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00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:50,509
Please don't ruin it
by being you.
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00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:53,779
You only have one more
college essay left to write,
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00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:54,613
and then you're done.
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00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:56,548
That has nothing to do
with snow day.
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00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:57,349
Of course it does.
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00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:59,151
You're physically trapped
in the house with me,
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00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:01,420
and all the roads and stores
are closed.
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00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:04,189
Yay! Let's get you
into Penn State.
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00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:06,992
No! Put away
the word processor.
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00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:08,760
I am not writing
my college essay.
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00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:11,563
Squishy, I can help you.
I read the topic...
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00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:12,731
"Describe a personal hero
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00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,533
"who's changed the course
of your life."
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00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,768
Mom, stop.
Let's brainstorm.
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00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,837
What makes a hero? Hmm?
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00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,606
Someone who's great at...
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00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:21,673
Crafting, matchmaking,
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00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:25,444
parming chicken or shrimp
or eggplant or meatballs.
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00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:28,480
Listen, I did write about
someone in the family,
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00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,281
but it's a "he."
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00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,750
Yay! It's me!
I am he, and he is me.
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00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:34,887
Bevy, she clearly
picked someone else,
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00:02:34,889 --> 00:02:37,789
perhaps a decorated war vet
who had a date
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00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,225
with two different Shirleys
last night.
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00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:42,394
That's right.
Pops? (SCOFFS)
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00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:43,395
You picked
the random old guy
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00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,531
who just hangs around
our house all day,
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00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:46,632
eating our smoked fish?
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00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:50,335
(CHUCKLES) Choo-choo!
Next stop, Lametown.
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00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,938
Hey, I liberated
an entire country.
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00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:54,439
I helped saved lives.
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00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:55,841
(IMITATES SNORING)
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00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,277
Oh! Oh, sorry, I drifted off
to sleep there.
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00:02:58,279 --> 00:03:00,846
Okay, this turned
ugly fast.
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00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,080
Now, if you'll excuse me,
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00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:04,349
I have a full day
of doing nothing ahead of me.
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00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:08,887
I honestly don't see a world
where it's anyone but me.
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00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:10,355
But thank you
for your service.
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00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:13,058
ADULT ADAM: My mom would stop at nothing to be Erica's hero.
88
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:16,061
Meanwhile, me and Big Tasty started our snow day
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00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:17,663
with an epic cartoon marathon.
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00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:18,397
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
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00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:21,133
Did you two get into my
four-quadrant popcorn tin?
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00:03:21,135 --> 00:03:23,202
Relax.
We were just sniffing it.
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00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:24,603
Stand up and show me
your fingers.
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00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:27,439
If I see any cheese dust,
you're both grounded.
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00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:28,607
Dust-free. You happy?
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00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:29,808
Dude, you're unbelievable.
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00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,577
Popcorn is the snack
of the people.
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00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:34,146
No. It's a snack
for dads only.
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00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:35,314
I get one tin a year
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00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:37,416
from my armoire dealer
in Cincinnati.
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00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:39,518
It's the only thing that
gets me through the season.
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00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,920
There are so many sad things
in that sentence,
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00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:44,223
but I honestly think
the winner is "Cincinnati."
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00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:46,458
Well, just keep
your hands off the tin.
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00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:47,526
That's it.
End of story.
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00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:49,695
And the same goes
for the thermostat.
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00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:50,796
Yeah,
I see you two looking.
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00:03:50,798 --> 00:03:52,497
That's 'cause it's colder
in this house
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00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:53,899
than it is outside.
Yeah, man.
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00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,568
Can't you spare
like two more degrees?
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If you two are so cold,
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00:03:58,172 --> 00:03:59,671
go out and shovel
the walkway.
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That ought to work up
a sweat but good.
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00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:02,507
(BOTH SIGH)
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ADULT ADAM: Murray Goldberg had a lot of dumb dad rules,
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00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:07,412
but nothing equaled his hard line on snow.
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00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:10,148
And no monkeying around
out there when you're done.
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00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:11,783
This weather is treacherous.
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00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:12,651
Oh, here we go.
120
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:15,320
Another lecture on the dangers
of cold weather.
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00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:17,422
I'm serious.
It's not safe out there.
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00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:21,593
You got frostbite, avalanches,
and deadly icicles.
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00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,794
Icicles aren't deadly.
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00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:23,729
They're refreshing
and delicious.
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00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:27,432
They're knives that can fall
from the sky at any moment.
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00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,100
Sky knives!
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00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:29,668
They kill a billion people
a year.
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00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:32,204
That seems high.
Dad, come on.
It's snow day.
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00:04:32,206 --> 00:04:36,775
Can't we at least go outside
and build one tiny
awesome snow fortress?
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00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,476
Absolutely not!
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00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:41,013
You shovel that walkway
before it turns into ice.
132
00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:42,314
And no forts... I mean it!
133
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:46,118
Naturally, we did the opposite 'cause forts are awesome!
134
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:46,551
Good job, dude.
135
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:50,188
I can't feel my fingers,
but this definitely
was two hours well spent.
136
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:53,058
Do you think maybe we should
shovel the walkway a little
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00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,326
so Dad doesn't
totally freak?
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00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:57,129
Yeah, we should...
After a quick expansion.
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00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,563
Quick's good.
Whatcha thinking?
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00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,065
I'm picturing
a master bedroom
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00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:03,368
with an attached bath,
butler's quarters, a dojo,
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00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:06,605
one of those maze gardens,
all of the rooms from Clue,
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00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:07,773
an indoor
basketball court.
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00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:10,509
A basketball court
inside a snow fort?
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00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,144
That's just the first floor.
146
00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:14,546
The second level's
where the party's at.
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00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:15,814
Hot tub, sauna,
fire pit.
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00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,350
You don't think that'll create
an awful lot of heat?
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00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:20,986
Yeah... once the word
gets out.
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00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,521
MURRAY: Son of a bitch.
151
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:23,055
A fort?
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00:05:23,057 --> 00:05:26,391
I told you dumbasses
to shovel the walk!
153
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:28,627
Crap! It's Dad.
154
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:30,896
He's coming for us.
We're so dead!
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00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,030
You get your asses
out of there
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00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:35,334
before that thing collapses
and traps you in an icy tomb.
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00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:37,469
Stay strong.
We're untouchable in here.
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00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:40,572
"Untouchable?"
I'll show you untouchable!
159
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:42,007
He's shimmying!
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00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:44,743
Oh, no! He's entering
the snow fort!
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00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,345
I never thought
this would happen!
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00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:47,512
MURRAY: Ah! I'm stuck!
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00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,815
I can't move my arms!
My arms are stuck!
164
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:51,950
How are your arms stuck?
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00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,318
It's snow. It's soft.
166
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,621
I'm wedged in!
My circulation's failing me!
167
00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:59,191
I can feel it!
I'm gonna die in here!
168
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:00,459
(BOTH LAUGH)
169
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:01,693
He thinks he's dying.
170
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:04,096
Stop laughing!
Stop laughing at me right now!
171
00:06:04,098 --> 00:06:06,264
Why are we hiding
from this man?
Look at him.
172
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:09,267
These are my last breaths!
I can see my last breaths!
173
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:12,170
He's so scared and vulnerable,
and it's hilarious.
174
00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:13,939
This is how
it's gonna end for me...
175
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:16,208
In an icy igloo
with you two morons.
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00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,410
He's freaking out.
Shut up and help me!
177
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,379
You got it, pal.
178
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,749
(GRUNTING)
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00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,217
You're not trying
to help me.
180
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:28,019
You're just playing
with my face
to mess with me.
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00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,721
Dude, you push
like this.
182
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:31,590
Stop!
183
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:33,091
(BLEEP)
184
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,559
(BLEEP)
185
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:35,827
(BLEEP)
186
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,996
ADULT ADAM: As we continued to mess with my dad,
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00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,765
my mom was cleaning Erica's room.
188
00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:42,734
Okay, she was ransacking it like an FBI agent.
189
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:47,672
It was a desperate attempt to uncover the person Erica chose as her hero.
190
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:48,573
And then she found it...
191
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,343
Hidden in plain view behind the circuit board of a Lite-Brite,
192
00:06:51,345 --> 00:06:55,547
the piece of paper that would change my mom's life forever.
193
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,984
Dad, I stumbled upon
something incredible
194
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:00,952
hidden in Erica's room,
and I need to tell someone,
195
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:02,621
but I can't because
she'll never forgive me.
196
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:05,090
Okay, you twisted my arm,
so here it is.
197
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:08,026
I'm Erica's hero.
Me, baby, me!
198
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,928
Well, I'm glad
this worked out for you.
199
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,329
You know
what this means, right?
200
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:13,632
I have succeeded
as a mother.
201
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,534
Now, I know there were times
when I quietly wondered
202
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:19,237
if I had failed as a mother,
but now I know the truth.
Success!
203
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:22,174
Did it ever occur to you
that Erica hid that essay
204
00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:24,910
so you wouldn't overreact
like you are right now?
205
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:28,780
Did it occur to you
that none of this matters
because I'm her hero?
206
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,283
Bevy, you snooped.
You broke her trust.
207
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:34,486
If I were you, I wouldn't
speak a word of this.
208
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:35,454
Obviously.
209
00:07:35,456 --> 00:07:37,289
Erica will never,
ever know.
210
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,090
ADULT ADAM:
And she wouldn't... for 10 minutes.
211
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:41,359
¶ Suddenly, I'm up on top of the world
What the...
212
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,295
"A Daughter and Her Hero"?
213
00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:45,197
¶ It should've been somebody else
Oh, damn it. You know?
214
00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:48,767
Know what? That I'm your
greatest American hero?
215
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:49,267
No, that's not true.
216
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:53,238
(LIP SYNCS)
¶ Believe it or not I'm walking on air
217
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:57,075
¶ I never thought I could feel so free
218
00:07:57,077 --> 00:08:00,479
For the record,
it is none of your business
who my hero is.
219
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:04,015
¶ Who could it be?
220
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:07,786
¶ Believe it or not it's just me ¶
221
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,621
(MUSIC STOPS)
I take it back, okay?
222
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:11,857
I take back
every single word I wrote.
223
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:13,291
You think you can just
take it back
224
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,494
like a bathing suit
you've worn three times
225
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:16,995
with the tags tucked in?
226
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:17,863
(LAUGHS)
227
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:19,865
No way. I'm your hero.
No!
228
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:23,134
Our history together
will show I think
you're the absolute worst.
229
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,871
But now I'll forever know
how you really feel about me,
230
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:31,009
which is,
"Everything my mother does
comes from her heart."
231
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,345
Stop using my words
against me.
232
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:34,312
You are not my hero.
233
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,448
I read a document
that says otherwise.
234
00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:37,983
God, you ruin everything!
235
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:40,685
And yet I'm your
"beacon on the hill."
236
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:41,720
I resent you so much
right now.
237
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:44,856
But yet you love me
"more than anyone."
238
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,992
This is
"my worst nightmare."
239
00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:48,527
And it's my dream.
(CHUCKLES)
240
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,996
Like the song says,
I'm walking on air.
241
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:51,830
And I'm walking out.
242
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,598
ADULT ADAM:
As Erica's secret was out,
243
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,400
Barry and I were launching a secret plan
244
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:56,968
that would change everything.
245
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,971
Young Adam, we have been
given a gift.
246
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:04,476
We have seen with
our very eyes
the underbelly of our enemy.
247
00:09:04,478 --> 00:09:05,076
Dad?
Yes!
248
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:08,847
The one who oppresses us
by ruling over the popcorn,
249
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:11,016
temperature,
and remote control.
250
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:13,318
He always makes me watch
Hee Haw!
251
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:13,852
Hee Haw, Barry!
252
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:16,821
We discovered something new
in that ice fort...
253
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,323
That Dad's vulnerable.
254
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:21,359
And when we mess with him,
it's super fun.
255
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,627
I agree.
It was joyous.
256
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,362
But we're back
in the house now.
It's over.
257
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:27,599
Or do we continue
the good times
and laughter forever?
258
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,267
You mean mess with Dad
259
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:31,436
outside the whimsical world
of the snow fort?
260
00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:35,407
Of course! Now we know
he's all bark and no bite.
261
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,142
I bet he doesn't even think
we're morons.
262
00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:38,443
But that's his hurtful
catchphrase.
263
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:42,480
From this moment on,
I say we do the things
that annoy him
264
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,715
and entertain us.
265
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:44,916
Like sitting in his chair
266
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,586
or leaving that last drop
in the orange juice container?
267
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:50,322
Damn right!
It's a snow-day revolution!
268
00:09:50,324 --> 00:09:52,157
ADULT ADAM:
And our first battle was this.
269
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:55,360
You two are grounded!
No telephone! No Atari!
270
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:58,196
No robits!
Now get upstairs!
271
00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:00,198
Want to go sledding?
Sure.
272
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:00,899
Sledding?
273
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:02,233
Didn't you hear
what I just said?
274
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:04,135
Oh, we heard it.
It's just... (CHUCKLES)
275
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,004
we're gonna pass
on the grounding.
276
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,106
(BOTH LAUGH)
277
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,240
What the hell
just happened?
278
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:12,110
ADULT ADAM: What happened was a revolution.
279
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:16,281
ADULT ADAM: My brother and I were in full rebellion mode,
280
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,882
and we were ready to take it up a notch.
281
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:22,153
Bevy! Where's my tin
of holiday popcorn?
282
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:26,524
Looking for something? Mmm!
Flavored corn deliciousness.
283
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:27,993
What have you done?
284
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:28,927
Looks like you're not
the only one
285
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:32,631
who can enjoy four types
of gourmet popcorn
whenever he wants.
286
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,332
You better not have touched
white cheddar.
287
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,534
Oh, I touched
the white cheddar but good.
288
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:38,370
That quadrant
was for dads only!
289
00:10:38,372 --> 00:10:40,772
Seriously,
what's wrong with you?
Yo, Ad-rock!
290
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:44,542
ADULT ADAM: And then we went where no Goldberg had gone before.
291
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,444
You chilly? I sure am.
292
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:48,179
Might as well just crank up
this bad boy.
293
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,348
Hey, you know no one touches
that thermostat.
294
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:54,719
It stays locked in
at a comfortable 63 degrees,
no higher!
295
00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:57,088
87... Temperature
of the rich.
296
00:10:57,090 --> 00:11:00,492
Eighty-seven degrees?
What do you think
this is, the sun?
297
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:02,794
We reign over
the thermostat now.
298
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,796
Okay, you saw me
at a low point,
299
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:07,732
and now you're giving me
a taste of my own medicine.
300
00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:09,134
(MUFFLED) So good.
301
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:10,869
Sweet and savory.
302
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:13,238
Damn it, stop eating
all the caramel!
303
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:13,738
No can do.
304
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:16,341
You see, until now,
your main weapon
was dad rage,
305
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:19,077
but that all changed
when your middle-aged body
306
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,245
corked up
our snow tunnel.
307
00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:22,380
Nothing has changed,
nothing.
308
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:23,882
(CHUCKLING)
Oh, it has.
309
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:26,584
We went into that snow fort
as scared boys,
310
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,953
but we emerged
as fearless men
311
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:30,855
who now find
your anger silly.
312
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:33,625
Fine. You don't want to
respect me? I'm out.
313
00:11:33,627 --> 00:11:37,629
I retire from being involved
in your lives in any way.
314
00:11:37,631 --> 00:11:39,464
Trust me,
there will be a time
315
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:43,334
when you come to me
in desperate need
of your dad,
316
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:44,069
and I won't help you.
317
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:45,637
ADULT ADAM: Our snow-day rebellion had worked.
318
00:11:45,639 --> 00:11:48,173
The balance of power had shifted in our house,
319
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:49,374
and we were kings!
320
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,608
Dear God.
You were right.
321
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:53,044
We can mess with dad
out of the snow fort, too.
322
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,313
I feel so alive and sweaty
from the heat!
323
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:58,183
This must be what the other
Adam Goldberg in school
324
00:11:58,185 --> 00:11:59,384
feels like all the time.
325
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,953
He's a loose cannon and
lives on his own terms!
326
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:05,023
Dude! Now we can finally
live our snow day
327
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:07,559
the way the gods
of winter intended it!
328
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:08,426
Car toboggan.
329
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:10,161
It combines the fun
of water-skiing
330
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,197
with the treacherous
danger of luge.
331
00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:13,398
I like what I'm hearing.
332
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,399
Sit down and hold on
333
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:17,102
'cause I'm gonna drive fast
and take chances.
334
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:18,536
(ENGINE STARTS)
335
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,205
Snow day!
336
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,041
Life without a dad rules!
337
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:25,210
ADULT ADAM: As we set out on our fatherless snow day,
338
00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:28,680
my sister was doing everything she could to avoid our mom.
339
00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:29,814
Mom isn't down here,
is she?
340
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:32,150
I haven't felt
her looming presence
341
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:34,586
in over an hour,
so you're safe.
342
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:35,086
Thank God.
343
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,788
That woman finding out
that she's my hero
344
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:39,424
is the worst thing
that's ever happened to me.
345
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:40,058
Speaking of heroes,
346
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:43,428
have I told you about
all my rich life adventures?
347
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,162
Yes. Many times.
348
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:46,331
I bet you didn't know
that after the army,
349
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:48,767
I joined the USO
and entertained the troops
350
00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,702
with a death-defying
circus act.
351
00:12:50,704 --> 00:12:53,638
I need help, Pops,
not your old-man yarns.
352
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,908
They're not yarns.
I trained a lion.
353
00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,376
His name was Stan.
354
00:12:58,378 --> 00:12:59,277
There you are, boopie.
355
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,445
I need your
fashion expertise.
356
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,982
Which iron-on should I put
on my purple jumpsuit,
357
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:06,651
me as the wind
beneath your wings
358
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,753
or we're two peas in a pod?
359
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:09,320
Hmm. I pick none.
360
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:12,457
Well, you go to pick one
so we can wear them
on our ski trip this weekend.
361
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,926
Let's be clear,
I am going skiing
with Lainey
362
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:17,529
and also 10 boys
who I know a little bit.
363
00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:18,329
And your hero.
364
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,131
I'm sure you want me
to tag along.
365
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,500
In what world
does that make sense?
366
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:23,535
If Barry went on
a ski trip,
367
00:13:23,537 --> 00:13:25,470
he'd want to bring
his hero, Chuck Norris,
368
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,772
and Adam would
definitely want to ski
with Crispin Glover.
369
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:31,709
So it makes perfect sense
that you would want
to bring your hero, me.
370
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:34,379
Okay, weird Crispin Glover
doesn't ski,
371
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,881
and Chuck Norris likes
a desert climate,
372
00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:38,283
so you're not going.
373
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:38,750
I get it.
374
00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:41,753
It's embarrassing
having your mom
as your hero.
375
00:13:41,755 --> 00:13:43,588
But don't worry,
I can be cool.
376
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:45,890
Hang with the hunkos
in the bubbly tub
377
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:48,493
with my ski gogs on.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
378
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,861
Oh, my God.
I don't (GAGS)
379
00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:51,596
even know how
to respond to that.
380
00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:52,897
I know!
It's gonna be great!
381
00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:55,200
Just like when we carpool
to school together
382
00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:57,001
so we can have
a little gossip time.
383
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,136
(GAGS) I just can't...
384
00:13:58,138 --> 00:13:59,504
And I'm gonna take you
385
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,172
to my Friday-night
scrapbooking club
386
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:04,576
so you can see how
your real hero cuts loose.
387
00:14:04,578 --> 00:14:05,810
(GAGS)
388
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,145
Decoupage.
389
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:08,279
So, let me get this straight.
390
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,315
You being my hero
basically undoes
391
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,816
everything good
in my life?
392
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:13,618
Yay! We're gonna be
slope sisters.
393
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,920
I got to go bedazzle
my ski boots.
394
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:17,088
Ugh!
395
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,624
Thinking you should have
picked a different hero,
396
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:23,962
one who's literally
put his head
in a lion's mouth?
397
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,663
Wait a minute.
You're right.
398
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:27,031
I chose
to write about Mom,
399
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,234
so I can just
write about someone else.
400
00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:30,501
Now we're talking.
401
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:31,903
I'll write about myself,
402
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:34,472
how I survived
my crazy "smother"
403
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:35,306
and became my own hero.
404
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,809
At this point,
very little surprises me.
405
00:14:37,811 --> 00:14:39,744
Thank you, Pops!
You are my hero!
406
00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:43,348
I mean,
for giving me the idea
to write about myself.
407
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:44,949
You bet.
408
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,421
(CHUCKLING) Oh, man!
409
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,023
That was awesome!
410
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:53,625
I know you don't
have your license,
411
00:14:53,627 --> 00:14:55,693
but it's your turn
to drive.
412
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:57,762
Adam?
413
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:01,232
Huh.
414
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,601
ADULT ADAM:
Turns out we would need our dad
415
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:06,271
just way sooner than expected.
416
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,238
Fancy meeting you here.
417
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,708
Good to see
you're keeping warm
on this wintry day, Father.
418
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:12,043
Bup-bup.
Not the dad.
419
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,946
(LAUGHS)
Hilarious as always.
420
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:15,747
Speaking of funny stuff,
421
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:18,049
do you recall when you told me
there would be a time
422
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,951
I'd come to you
in desperate need?
423
00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:21,152
Well, that moment
is now upon us.
424
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,922
Are you kidding?
It's been, what, 20 minutes?
425
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:25,490
Time sure does fly,
doesn't it?
426
00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:27,058
Well, whatever you did,
it's on you.
427
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,794
Yeah, you're teaching me
a lesson about respect.
428
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:30,662
Noble goal.
429
00:15:30,664 --> 00:15:32,797
In return,
I'd like to teach you
430
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,133
the highs and lows
of car tobogganing,
431
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:38,069
the recreational pastime
that's sweeping the nation.
432
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,203
What did you do?
433
00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:41,105
I lost Adam.
434
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,141
Get my pants.
435
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:47,312
There's my little
typer monkey.
436
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:48,680
What you
click-clacking about?
437
00:15:48,682 --> 00:15:50,381
Got more to write
about your hero mama?
438
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:53,685
Oh, just making a few tiny
tweaks to my college essay.
439
00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:54,085
Tweaks?
440
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:56,354
Can't believe it gets
much better than that.
441
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:57,121
Oh, it's better.
442
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,456
My first tweak
was when I, like,
443
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,292
threw the whole thing out
and started over.
What's that, now?
444
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,428
Yeah, my new essay
is about my inner hero
445
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:06,864
and how I overcame
the greatest obstacle
of all.
446
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:08,266
Me?
447
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:10,134
It says I'm the obstacle?
Yep.
448
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:13,137
(GASPS) And ruiner of dreams?
For sure.
449
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,772
Strangler of hope?
Yep.
450
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:18,042
A vampire draining
your human sprite?
451
00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:21,479
Oopsie, that is supposed
to say "spirit."
452
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,046
Good eye.
453
00:16:22,048 --> 00:16:25,249
Oh. This is about me
going on the ski trip.
454
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:26,818
Okay, how's about
I just sit it out?
455
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,453
Just please don't
send this in.
456
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:29,053
And print.
457
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:31,055
(PRINTER CLICKING)
Please stop that horrible
printing sound.
458
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:35,093
I wish I could,
but I pressed the button,
and it can't be stopped.
459
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,894
It can
if I drown it out.
460
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:41,299
(BLENDER WHIRRING)
The blending stops
when the printing stops.
461
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:43,067
You can blend
all you want, lady,
462
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:45,370
but I'ma print
all day long.
463
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:49,140
Beverly, Adam is lost
in the snow!
464
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,208
It's an emergency!
465
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:53,444
I can't hear you.
I'm proving a point.
466
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:58,649
ADULT ADAM:
My sister had finally finished her new college essay
467
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:01,119
about heroically triumphing over her "smother,"
468
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:03,888
but my mom had one last trick up her snowsuit.
469
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,957
Where are you going?
Out.
470
00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:07,925
Where?
All of Philly's shut down.
471
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:10,061
I'm gonna snowshoe over
to the Dress Barn
472
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:12,397
and see about their
annual blizzard sale.
473
00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:14,565
Blizzard sale?
That's not a thing.
474
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:15,333
Eat my dust, sucka.
475
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,468
Penn State's gonna know
I'm your hero.
476
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:19,003
Wait! Get back here!
477
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:21,506
ADULT ADAM:
But their race to the mailbox didn't go as planned
478
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:23,708
because we forgot to shovel the driveway.
479
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:26,310
No! Do not take that
to the mailbox.
480
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:26,978
Don't you dare.
481
00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:28,980
It's too late.
You'll never catch me.
482
00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:29,380
Get back here!
483
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,617
ADULT ADAM:
And so began the slowest high-speed chase
484
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:33,518
in Goldberg history.
485
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:34,852
I wrote a better,
more hurtful one.
486
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:38,589
Those stupid sons of
bitches at Penn State
will never read it.
487
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:41,225
Not if I beat you
to the mailbox, old lady.
488
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,593
Ha! I'm pulling ahead!
489
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:43,728
No, never!
490
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,396
Oh! Oh!
Aah!
491
00:17:45,999 --> 00:17:48,633
(BOTH GRUNTING)
492
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:52,170
You are not my hero!
493
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:56,407
No! Erica,
that's all I had left,
494
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,408
and you ruined it.
495
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,477
Mom, it's just
a stupid college essay.
496
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:01,612
Why make this
the biggest deal
in the world?
497
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:04,415
That essay was
the only proof I had
498
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,651
that you still want me
as your mom.
499
00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:08,052
Come on.
That's not true.
500
00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:10,388
Every day,
you roll your eyes at me
501
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,256
and you tell me
I ruin your life.
502
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:15,993
And I know you're a teenager,
and that's how it goes,
503
00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:17,628
but it hurts.
504
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,363
And then
I read this essay.
505
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:21,132
And it was just nice
to be reminded
506
00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:24,402
that you still
think nice things
about me sometimes.
507
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:30,374
Look,
even though you have real
impulse-control problems,
508
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:34,612
and you threw me down
on a sheet of ice,
509
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,447
you shouldn't need
some essay to know
510
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:40,218
that you really are my
(QUIETLY) hero.
511
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,519
What was that?
512
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:42,820
You're my stupid hero,
okay?
513
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,255
¶ Look at what's happened to me...
514
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:47,592
I know I don't say it,
but I would be lucky
to grow up
515
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:51,696
to be as strong and confident
and passionate as you are.
516
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:54,532
¶ Suddenly I'm up on top of the world
Oh, sweetie.
517
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:57,201
You already are
all of those things.
518
00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:59,804
¶ It should've been somebody else
519
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:03,708
¶ Believe it or not, I'm walking on air
I'm your hero.
520
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:08,279
¶ I never thought I could feel so free...
521
00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:09,380
Dad?
522
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:10,615
You okay?
523
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:13,784
You were right.
Snow is nature's weapon.
524
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:15,119
I kind of hurt my ankle.
525
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:16,587
Come on.
I'll get you home safe.
526
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:20,825
¶ Believe it or not, it's just me
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
527
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:21,559
(SNIFFLES)
528
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:24,529
You're gonna yell at us
when we get home, aren't you?
529
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:26,764
Oh, yeah.
Good.
530
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,666
ADULT ADAM:
That's the thing about your heroes.
531
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,568
Even when we say we don't need them,
532
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,136
they'd still have our backs.
533
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:35,573
But every once in a while, heroes need a little love, too,
534
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:40,878
or at least a reminder of why they were so important in the first place.
535
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,947
I think this
belongs to you.
536
00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:47,652
So does this.
I melted a Butterfinger
on some Jiffy Pop.
537
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,687
Consider it our apology,
538
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:52,223
you know,
'cause you're the dad
539
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,224
and we like it that way.
540
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:55,359
If you need us,
we'll be shoveling
the walkway
541
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,794
like we should have done
in the first place.
542
00:19:56,796 --> 00:20:01,332
ADULT ADAM: And with that, our dad was back to being our dad again.
543
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:02,133
But that snow day,
544
00:20:02,135 --> 00:20:04,569
he realized there's much more to being a father
545
00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:06,671
than enforcing the rules.
546
00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:07,171
Hey!
547
00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:08,940
You snow babies
gonna fight back?
548
00:20:08,942 --> 00:20:09,540
¶ Believe it or not
549
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:12,577
ADULT ADAM:
So, yeah, our snow day didn't go as planned,
550
00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:16,380
but turns out, it really was the day we'd always hoped for.
551
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,048
Take that, old man!
552
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,417
¶ Believe it or not, I'm walking on air ¶
553
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:21,852
Oh, good.
The walkway's shoveled.
554
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,254
Ooh!
555
00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:23,854
Oh!
556
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:25,856
Oh! You're gonna be
one sorry Schmoo!
557
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:29,026
ADULT ADAM:
And that night, even though it was freezing outside
558
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:31,362
and we were lobbing balls of ice at each other,
559
00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:34,098
we played in the snow as a family for hours.
560
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:35,533
¶ Believe it or not, it's just me ¶
561
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,935
Because in the end, nothing keeps you warm
562
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:40,571
like being around the people you love most.
563
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,740
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
564
00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:46,277
ADAM: I have off school today,
for it had snowed.
565
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:50,014
The tree's have frozen over,
and there's icicles
everywhere.
566
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:51,415
Yeah, we're live here.
567
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,951
(BOTH SCREAMING)
568
00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:59,223
Ugh! I am so glad
I'm finally done with
that college essay.
569
00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:02,994
You know, sweetheart,
it's not too late
to write about a real hero.
570
00:21:02,996 --> 00:21:04,595
Ship's kind of sailed
at this point.
571
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,564
That ship might circle
back to port
572
00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:09,700
when you take a gander
at some circus adventures
573
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:10,268
after the war.
574
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,970
Oh, Pops, you don't have
to make stuff up.
575
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:14,472
You'll always be
a hero to me.
576
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:17,642
But I spent four hours
digging this up...
577
00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:20,177
Ah, damn it. She's gone.
578
00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:21,045
(PROJECTOR WHIRRING)
579
00:21:21,047 --> 00:21:23,047
And there they are, folks, stretching it.
580
00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:25,149
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
581
00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:26,784
You handsome devil.
582
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:31,255
All right! Come on down and see it.
51716
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