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ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s,
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00:00:01,135 --> 00:00:05,070
Philadelphia hosted one of the most legendary charity rock concerts
3
00:00:05,072 --> 00:00:06,638
ever assembled: Live Aid,
4
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:10,042
and no one wanted to go more than Big Tasty.
5
00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:12,778
Dad, we need to have
an insanely important talk.
6
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:14,380
And if you say,
"Go to your mother,"
7
00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:15,681
there will be
serious consequences.
8
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,249
Not listening.
Go to your mother.
9
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:19,318
Okay, you know how
all the awesome stuff happens
10
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,754
in New York and L.A.
and Florida, but never here?
11
00:00:21,756 --> 00:00:23,222
You do know
that Philadelphia
12
00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:25,090
is the birthplace
of our country, right?
13
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:27,626
Enough with
your folk tales, old man!
14
00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:29,028
I'm talking about now.
15
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:29,595
It's called Live Aid.
16
00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:31,463
The world's biggest
rock concert ever
17
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:34,433
is happening here
this weekend,
and I need your car.
18
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:35,768
What's wrong with your van?
19
00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:36,368
Doesn't start.
20
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,470
I think it needs
new spark plugs
or gas or something.
21
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:40,773
Point is, give me your keys
and wallet. Hurry.
22
00:00:40,775 --> 00:00:42,307
Here's the thing... No.
23
00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:44,043
But I presented
such a strong case!
24
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,577
This concert's been
all over the news.
25
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:48,614
There's gonna be a million
morons pouring into the city,
26
00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:50,816
each one with bad hair
and worse ideas.
27
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:53,318
But I have the worst ideas!
I should be there, too.
28
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:57,456
No way I'm allowing my car
to be driven in that madness.
29
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:58,123
It'll never return.
30
00:00:58,125 --> 00:00:59,458
Do you even know
who's performing at Live Aid?
31
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:02,528
I don't know,
and more importantly,
I don't care.
32
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,763
Rick Springfield,
REO Speedwagon,
33
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:07,399
the Hooters, Black Sabbath,
RUN-D.M.C.,
34
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:10,536
Simple Minds, Judas Priest,
Led Zeppelin,
35
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,471
Bernard Watson,
Joan Baez,
36
00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,773
Four Tops, Billy Ocean,
Bryan Adams,
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00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:18,343
Crosby, Stills & Nash,
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young,
38
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:18,710
Neil Young,
39
00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:21,713
Bob Dylan,
George Thorogood
& the Destroyers,
40
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,482
most of
the Rolling Stones,
41
00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:24,316
all of Hall & Oates,
42
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:26,652
Madonna, Phil Collins,
Duran Duran,
43
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:29,421
Eddie Kendricks
and David Ruffin,
44
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:30,322
Patti LaBelle,
45
00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:32,291
The Cars,
Kenny Loggins,
46
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:33,859
Tom Petty
and The Heartbreakers,
47
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:37,162
Santana, Pretenders,
Ashford & Simpson...
48
00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:40,132
Ashford & Simpson?
I'm in!
49
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:40,732
Really?
No!
50
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:44,136
None of these names
mean anything to me!
51
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,370
� I'm twisted up inside
52
00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:49,708
� But nonetheless I feel the need to say
53
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:52,478
� I don't know the future
54
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:56,115
� But the past keeps getting clearer every day �
55
00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:58,684
ADULT ADAM: It was October 5, 1980-something,
56
00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:00,252
and I had a genius plan
57
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:02,287
to be the coolest freshman ever.
58
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,189
Big news.
I'm starting a club:
59
00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:06,492
The Saturday Night
Live Society.
60
00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:07,493
Ugh. Here we go.
61
00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:08,160
It'll be awesome.
62
00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:10,129
We can wear costumes
and perform skits
63
00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:12,164
and do all their
greatest characters,
64
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:13,265
like the Church Lady.
65
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,434
(IMITATING CHURCH LADY)
Isn't that special?
66
00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:17,603
Cut the crap, dude.
You sound crazy.
67
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:18,303
We're freshmen now.
68
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,505
We got to start thinking
about our reps.
69
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,507
(IMITATING FERNANDO)
You look mah-velous.
70
00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:23,342
Please!
We're in public.
71
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:24,543
Girls hate that stuff.
72
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:25,144
We really do.
73
00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:27,479
Impressing girls is
the least of my concerns.
74
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:30,415
I'm just trying to
make it through the day.
75
00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:32,518
Oh, balls.
76
00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:35,454
It's her. She's here.
77
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:38,524
It's...Waffle Girl.
78
00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:39,358
Waffle Girl?
79
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,393
ADULT ADAM:
Oh, yes, Waffle Girl.
80
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,195
She was my first crush ever.
81
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:44,530
I hadn't seen her in three years,
82
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:48,367
but now that I was a freshman, I was back in her world.
83
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,536
So many confusing feelings.
84
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,437
That's all in the past, bro.
85
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:53,438
We're in the now,
86
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,941
and that means
you got to go rock that body.
87
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:56,542
Don't do that.
88
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:59,211
You already
laid the groundwork when
you were a small child.
89
00:02:59,213 --> 00:02:59,645
Close the deal.
90
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:02,581
How? She's a junior.
I'm just a boy.
91
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:03,315
Not anymore.
92
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:05,284
Back then, you were
just a creepy kid.
93
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:07,953
Now you're a man,
so it's not creepy at all.
94
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:08,754
Nope, still creepy.
95
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:11,223
Just walk on over there
and be like,
96
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,424
"Yo, Waffles, remember me?
97
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:15,627
"Powdered sugar,
sliced banana,
side of sausage.
98
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,428
"Name's Adam Goldberg."
99
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,530
I can't say my name.
It's too confusing.
100
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,933
There's another
Adam Goldberg in school.
101
00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:21,600
He's a senior.
102
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:23,869
He told me
in no uncertain terms
103
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,704
that he's got dibs
on the upper-class girls.
104
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,940
Stop using the other
Adam Goldberg as an excuse.
105
00:03:27,942 --> 00:03:31,443
Yeah, there's just
so many other reasons
why it won't work.
106
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:33,979
(SCOFFS) What do
you know about girls?
107
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:36,415
Look, all you got to do
is show her
108
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:38,250
that older women
don't intimidate you.
109
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:40,919
You're right!
It's all about confidence!
110
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,722
Oh, crap,
here she comes.
111
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,225
Sausage!
112
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,926
What's that?
113
00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:49,294
I'm a man now.
114
00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:52,898
Oh, my God!
Uh...Alan, right?
115
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,500
You used to come by
the House of Waffles.
116
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:56,735
I am Alan, yes.
117
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,837
Aww. You were such a cute kid.
118
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,406
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
Well, see you around.
119
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,643
ADULT ADAM:
As I was out to prove to my first crush I was a man,
120
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:07,512
Barry was still fighting my dad about going to Live Aid.
121
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:09,948
Mom! Talk some sense
into this bad man!
122
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,618
He's not letting me go
to the world's most
awesome concert!
123
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,319
Well, if you're jonesing
for some bitchin' tunes,
124
00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:16,822
what do you say we go
to the Beach Boys
concert, huh?
125
00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:21,460
� God only knows what I'd be without Schmoo �
126
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,461
Oh, my God,
what are you singing?
127
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:25,797
Come on,
go on a Surfin' Safari
with your mama.
128
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:27,899
I got two tickets.
Come.
129
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:28,367
Never!
130
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,969
The only concert Big Tasty
is going to is Live Aid,
131
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:32,838
and nothing will stop me.
132
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:35,474
(ENGINE SPUTTERS)
133
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:35,674
Gah!
134
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:38,377
ADULT ADAM: Well, nothing except for an empty gas tank.
135
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:38,810
Doesn't matter!
136
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:41,747
I'll run there if I have to!
Live Aid!
137
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:44,716
ADULT ADAM: But Barry still wasn't deterred...
138
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:45,450
Oh, cramp, cramp!
139
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:49,621
...until the tummy cramp and the pebble in his shoe.
140
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:50,022
Stupid pebble!
141
00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:52,557
Clearly, he wasn't going to the Beach Boys with my mom,
142
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:53,892
so she dragged along my dad.
143
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,461
I can't believe I let you
talk me into this.
144
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,829
Who knew
so many people loved
145
00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,065
the delicate doo-wops
of the Beach Boys?
146
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,934
They what?
Let me see those tickets.
147
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:04,569
Live Aid?
148
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:06,938
The Beach Boys
are playing at Live Aid?
149
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,775
You just took me
into the eye of the storm!
150
00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:11,610
I had no idea.
151
00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:12,678
But come to think of it,
152
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,047
the guy at Ticketron
did mention a couple
of opening bands.
153
00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:17,916
Thirty bands! We got to
turn around right now.
154
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:20,686
Stop being so dramatic.
It's just a little traffic.
155
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:23,955
You go into the Live Aid.
I'll circle for three hours.
156
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:24,690
No, don't circle.
157
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:26,925
For once, can you not be
so stubborn?
158
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,528
We could be here
for days!
159
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:30,362
Damn it!
160
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:31,530
This is my
(BLEEP) nightmare!
161
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:34,566
ADULT ADAM: As my dad was desperate to get out of traffic,
162
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:38,337
I was desperate to figure out a way to show Waffle Girl
163
00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:40,372
I wasn't a little kid anymore.
164
00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:41,373
Like any sensible adult,
165
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:43,909
I stole an idea from "The Brady Bunch."
166
00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:45,977
But I do have a boyfriend.
167
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:46,812
It was a legendary episode
168
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:49,414
where Jan fakes a boyfriend by naming him...
169
00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:52,851
George, uh, Glass... George Glass.
170
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,586
That's it. George Glass.
171
00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:58,357
Oh, Jan Brady, you giver
of genius middle-child wisdom.
172
00:05:58,359 --> 00:06:00,692
She's no Marcia,
but she does have moxie.
173
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,728
That's how
I'll impress Waffle Girl.
174
00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:04,963
I'm make up a fake
older girlfriend,
175
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:08,500
and then she'll know
I can hang with mature ladies.
176
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:11,103
I don't know
what that sentence means,
177
00:06:11,105 --> 00:06:11,837
but go for it, kiddo.
178
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,840
Oh, my God!
Do not "George Glass" anyone.
179
00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:18,543
It's too late.
My plan is already
taking shape,
180
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,679
and her name shall be...
181
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:24,649
Lampy...Tableson.
182
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:25,784
Lampy's not a name.
183
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:26,585
She's foreign.
184
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,620
She just transferred
to Villanova
185
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,655
from the University of Europe.
186
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:32,824
This Lampy
sounds hot to trot.
187
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,493
Only a sad,
desperate loser
188
00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:36,962
would stoop
to George Glass-ing someone.
189
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:37,729
(SCOFFS)
190
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:38,663
His name's Jordan Wahlberg,
191
00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:40,665
and he just transferred
to Villanova.
192
00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:40,999
Oh, my God.
193
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,834
I can't believe your
new boyfriend's in college.
194
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,404
Yeah, Jordy's
on a swim scholarship.
195
00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:46,405
He's crazy hot.
196
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:47,506
You are so lucky.
197
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:50,509
But not as lucky as finding
a guy like my Geoffrey.
198
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:51,877
Yeah. I can do this.
199
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:53,178
A lot of people
can do that.
200
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:53,979
We are just so happy
201
00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:57,983
that you have finally, finally
found someone, Erica.
202
00:06:57,985 --> 00:06:59,684
Thanks.
What about you, Geoff?
203
00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:00,485
Are you happy for me,
204
00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:02,187
or is it more complicated
than that?
205
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:03,054
What?
Nothing.
206
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:05,056
Are you freaking
kidding me right now?
207
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:06,825
Uh, I got to call Jordy.
Bye.
208
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:09,795
ADULT ADAM:
While I was furious that Erica stole my idea,
209
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:12,898
my furious father was still stuck in traffic!
210
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,933
Damn it!
Move, already!
211
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,868
And then it happened.
212
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:17,869
Mur, look.
213
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:21,473
The parking gods took pity on my parents!
214
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:22,107
A space.
215
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,542
Not just any space.
216
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:26,611
That's the greatest
space of all time!
217
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,480
(TIRES SCREECH)
218
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,016
Son of a bitch.
Oh, come on.
219
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:34,052
Hey, buddy,
I was here first!
220
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:37,456
What's he doing?
He's ignoring me!
221
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,891
Stop it.
W-Where are you going?
222
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,927
Get back in the car!
223
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,094
Hiya, buddy.
224
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:46,998
Listen, uh, this space...
It's mine.
225
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:47,732
(HORN HONKING)
226
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:49,901
What are you...
What are you honking?
227
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:50,936
He's honking!
228
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:52,137
We'll find another space!
229
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,472
We will not find
another space.
230
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:57,576
(HONKING)
Now you're honking
at a private conversation
231
00:07:57,578 --> 00:07:59,711
between a man
and his wife.
232
00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:00,512
(HORN HONKS)
233
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:03,548
Fine.
Two can play at that game.
234
00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:05,083
Honk!
(HORN HONKS)
235
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:05,817
Honk!
(HORN HONKS)
236
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:09,621
ADULT ADAM: My dad spent the next hour screaming his face off.
237
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:11,990
Meanwhile, I was about to face off with a thief.
238
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:15,560
Well! If it isn't my sister,
who pulled a George Glass
239
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:18,897
after she specifically told me
it was stupid!
240
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:19,164
For you.
241
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:22,567
You lack
the pathological qualities
needed to pull it off.
242
00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:23,969
Me? Easy breezy.
243
00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:24,736
Jordan Wahlberg?
244
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,771
You just took
two New Kids on the Block
245
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:27,672
and mashed them together.
246
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,008
Jordy is much more
than a name.
247
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,142
He's got big plans,
248
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,711
and I put them down
in this dossier.
249
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,546
For example, after
he goes to the Olympics,
250
00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:36,648
he's going to med school
to become a urologist.
251
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:39,184
That's crazy!
No one wants
to be a urologist.
252
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:43,221
Face it, I'm unbeatable.
I've thought of every detail.
253
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,223
I was made
to George Glass me a guy.
254
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,259
Well, I was made
to George Glass me a gal.
255
00:08:47,261 --> 00:08:50,562
Oh! So sad, you guys have to
make up pretend lovers
256
00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:52,864
instead of knowing the joy
of a authentic one.
257
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,934
I'm talking about
my longtime companion, Lainey.
258
00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:56,902
Sad.
Idiot.
259
00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:59,871
You had a fake girlfriend
from Canada for three years.
260
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,107
Marian Lemieux wasn't fake!
I met her at camp.
261
00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:04,876
We went to the same camp.
There was no Marian.
262
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,211
She spent all her time
at the lake,
263
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:08,713
but then had to leave
for a modeling emergency!
264
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,248
It happens!
ERICA: Whatever.
265
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,149
Point is,
there's only room
266
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:14,786
for one George Glasser
in this family, and it's me.
267
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:15,787
ADULT ADAM:
The battle had begun.
268
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:19,157
It was time for me to bring Lampy to life.
269
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:20,025
Are you sure about this, dude?
270
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:23,328
Yes, I'm taking
my fake girlfriend
to a whole new level.
271
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:26,765
A hickey equals proof.
Engage.
272
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,667
(VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRS)
273
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,135
(SUCTION POPS)
274
00:09:30,304 --> 00:09:30,969
It kind of tickles.
275
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:34,105
Don't make this any weirder
than it already is.
276
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:34,773
(WHIRRING STOPS)
277
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:37,042
How's it look?
Like you got some action.
278
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:37,609
Then do more.
279
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,744
I want people to know
me and Lampy
are the real deal.
280
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,713
What's a Lampy?
Just hickey me, already!
281
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:43,315
(VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING,
SUCTION POPS)
282
00:09:43,317 --> 00:09:45,083
This cannot fail.
283
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,319
Fail!
I can see that, Dave Kim!
284
00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:50,589
ADULT ADAM: While the vacuum was threatening to blow up my spot,
285
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:53,158
my dad was still refusing to give up his.
286
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:56,595
How long are
we gonna do this?
Just give it up.
287
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:57,062
I was here first!
288
00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:59,230
According to parking rules,
this space is mine.
289
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:02,067
We all know that there are
no rules to parking.
290
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:05,971
Look! I'm in more of the spot
than you are, so it's mine!
291
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:07,138
You just said,
"No rules,"
292
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,307
yet you just told me a rule,
you moron!
293
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:12,177
Murray, it's a stupid
parking space!
294
00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,678
Stop being so stubborn!
295
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,880
Never!
I will stay here forever.
296
00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:18,149
I will make this
my home if I have to.
297
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,217
That's absurd.
298
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,652
How would you
get ready for work?
299
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:24,055
I would leave my job
and move my family here.
300
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:24,789
Don't be an idiot.
301
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,926
This spot can hold
three people, max,
302
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:28,393
not a whole family!
303
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:33,264
I will forsake
my wife and kids and
my life as I know it
304
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,033
just for
this parking space!
305
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,068
That is
a horrible thing to s...
306
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,671
Your wife is
sitting right there.
307
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:40,372
Thank you, Larry.
308
00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:44,843
Yes! Thank you, Larry,
because this is my new home.
309
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:47,345
Not the pants.
Oh, yes, the pants.
310
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:48,046
Don't you do it.
311
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:50,649
MURRAY: And this feels
just like home.
312
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:51,883
Whoo! Whoo! It feels good.
313
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:57,088
You know, I like to dig in,
but this is next level, buddy.
314
00:10:57,691 --> 00:10:58,990
Good luck to you, Beverly.
315
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,092
(CHUCKLES)
You see that, Bevy?
316
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,094
This is what
victory looks like.
317
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:05,930
And that's what the end
of a concert looks like.
318
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:09,334
But we won the space,
and that's not nothing.
319
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,670
Oh, my God.
320
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,173
ADULT ADAM: My plan with the vacuum sucked,
321
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,243
so my only option was to double down.
322
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:19,878
I know I keep
saying this, man,
323
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,913
but I don't know
about this, man.
324
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:22,380
Shut up, Dave Kim.
325
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:25,283
My only choice is to turn
these obviously fake hickeys
326
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,152
into a convincing
paintball injuries.
327
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:29,054
(PAINTBALL GUN FIRES)
Oh, balls!
328
00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:31,022
Balls! Oh, balls!
It hurts.
329
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,158
It hurts so bad!
Next time, warn me.
330
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:36,127
Thought it would be better
to surprise you. Ready?
331
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:38,229
(PAINTBALL GUN FIRES)
Oh! It hurts worse.
332
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,932
It's worse when you prepare!
Don't let me prepare.
333
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:41,733
Go back to the other way.
334
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:44,903
(PAINTBALL GUN FIRES)
Oh, man! Manischewitz!
335
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:46,471
(PAINTBALL GUN FIRES)
Sorry!
336
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,073
Funky Cold Medina!
337
00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:48,840
So sorry.
338
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,175
Mommy! Mommy!
Everyone okay?
339
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:51,476
Thought I heard
a woman scream.
340
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:54,112
Yeah, probably scared
some freshman ladies
341
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,346
with my extreme
p-ball training.
342
00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:59,384
I had no idea
you played paintball.
It's totally my thing.
343
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,086
It's totally my thing, too.
344
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:04,789
I used to go with
my college girlfriend,
345
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:07,292
Paintsy McBallerson.
346
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:08,293
Want to go
with me sometime?
347
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,495
I'm always looking
for a battle partner.
348
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,130
Uh, yeah, for sure.
349
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:14,032
Great. It's a date.
350
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:16,835
(PAINTBALL GUN FIRES)
351
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,103
Oh, my... Ow!
352
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:21,039
Dad, it has recently
come to my attention
353
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:24,876
that the Beach Boys concert
mom invited me to 16 times
354
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:26,277
was, in fact, Live Aid.
355
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:27,078
How about that?
356
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,914
Yes. "How about that?" indeed.
357
00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:31,750
What the hell is that?
358
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:33,885
This, Father,
is a traditional mok jong,
359
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:37,055
or as the uninitiated call it,
a karate training post.
360
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:38,823
Well, why is it blocking
The Rockford Files?
361
00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:42,327
See, I have achieved a rage
so pure, so overwhelming,
362
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:45,463
I have no choice
but to channel it
into this wooden thing
363
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:46,264
for the next three hours.
364
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,966
This is gonna be
a whole thing, isn't it?
365
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,168
Up windmill!
Down windmill!
366
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:51,436
Cross block!
Hyah-hyah!
367
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,773
Monkey steals the peach!
Tiger climbs the tree!
368
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:57,008
Looks like I'm not
the only one upset
369
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,076
about missing
their concert.
370
00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:01,079
Look, I'm a stubborn guy.
I can't change that.
371
00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:02,981
You can change,
and you will.
372
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:04,249
It's an impossible ask.
373
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:05,350
To start, you're taking me
to Chi-Chi's,
374
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:09,254
and I'm finally gonna try
those sizzlin' fa-jee-tas
everybody's raving about.
375
00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:12,190
You know my rule
about Mexican food.
Can't do it.
376
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:12,924
That's the whole point.
377
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:17,796
You won't eat Mexican food
'cause once you had bad
nachos at a Phillies game.
378
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,030
There was a war
inside me, Bevy.
379
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:22,467
That's on you
for ordering beans
and liquid cheese
380
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,435
in an outdoor stadium
in July.
381
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:25,937
I reject all Mexican foods
forever.
382
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:29,874
We're going to Chi-Chi's,
and you're gonna like it!
383
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,377
Hyah, hyah, hyah, hyah!
384
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:34,979
(YAWNING) Oh, my God.
385
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,182
Jordan's frat
threw this sick rager,
386
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,516
and I was out till,
like, dawn.
387
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,151
The best parties
are always at Omega Sig.
388
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:45,256
Wait. My cousin Brett
goes to Villanova,
and he's Omega.
389
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:45,990
Oh? Wow!
390
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:49,227
Yeah, I thought
they can't have
parties anymore
391
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,162
since T-Bone
fell off the roof.
392
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:55,300
Maybe it's not Omega Sig.
It's Omega Beta.
393
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:56,601
That's right. I'm tired.
394
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:57,869
Actually, Omega Beta
is a sorority.
395
00:13:57,871 --> 00:14:00,238
Yeah, we know because
they put out
a calendar every year.
396
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,407
It's quite tasteful,
and the proceeds
go to charity.
397
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:05,210
You don't know which frat
your boyfriend's in?
398
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:08,112
Wait. Fast.
What color are his eyes?
399
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:09,180
Breen.
Breen?
400
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:12,217
Oh, my God, are you
George Glass-ing us?
401
00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:12,584
George what?
402
00:14:12,586 --> 00:14:14,886
I mean, I don't even know
what you're talking about.
403
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,454
Come on. Erica,
of all people,
404
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:17,488
wouldn't need to make up
a boyfriend.
405
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:21,226
Thank you, Geoff.
I mean, I've never even
seen The Brady Bunch.
406
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,360
Oh, you clearly
just referenced
407
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:25,430
the thing you said
you didn't know,
so now I feel sad for you.
408
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:27,365
Me too.
It's all unraveling.
409
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:27,999
Jordan Wahlberg!
410
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:31,336
All you did was
combine two names from
New Kids on the Block!
411
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:31,636
So cute.
412
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:35,874
It's not cute.
It's real, and it's college,
and breen is a color.
413
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,042
It's brown mixed with green,
so suck it.
414
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:43,081
Well, I guess
we'll believe it if
and when we meet him.
415
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:48,953
You know, my Nana says
that sometimes
wishing makes it so.
416
00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:50,455
Your pity makes it worse.
417
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:52,123
Agreed.
418
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:53,524
Well, well.
419
00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:56,327
It appears even
my pathological sister
420
00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:58,129
can't pull off
a George Glass.
421
00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,197
Oh, and like you're
doing any better?
422
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:03,134
In fact, I am.
I have a romantic paintball
date with Waffle Girl.
423
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,036
How is paintball
romantic in any way?
424
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,338
Trust me, our love will be
forged on the battlefield
425
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:12,510
once she witnesses
my unflinching courage
and legendary bravery.
426
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,913
(SCREAMS) I'm so scared!
427
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,180
That one grazed
my hand a little.
428
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:18,683
Don't hurt me!
I'm just a little boy!
429
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:21,052
(PAINTBALL GUN FIRES)
430
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,454
Wait! Alan,
you dropped your gun!
431
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:25,657
I don't care!
432
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,494
Isn't this great, Mur?
433
00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:30,628
See how much fun
we can have
434
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,964
when you're not busy
being a stubborn grump?
435
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,666
I have to admit,
it's not that bad.
436
00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:38,169
And the chicken fajita
for the lovely senorita.
437
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,237
And for the senor...
438
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:42,006
Bup, bup. I ordered
the steak fa-jee-tas.
439
00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:45,543
My sincerest apologies, senor.
Uh, no more steak fajitas.
440
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,979
No more steak fa-jee-tas?
Murray, chicken's fine.
441
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:50,515
Those people over there,
they were seated after us,
442
00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:51,950
and they got their
steak fa-jee-tas.
443
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:55,353
This dinner is
supposed to show me
how not stubborn you are.
444
00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:57,956
Don't ruin it by being
extra stubborn.
445
00:15:57,958 --> 00:15:58,990
Look, here's what's
gonna happen.
446
00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:01,626
You're gonna go
to every table
with steak fa-jee-tas,
447
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:05,263
take one off their plate,
put it on my plate.
448
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:05,997
Problem solved.
449
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,031
You take those
chicken fa-jee-tas
450
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:10,601
and put them in a corn
tor-till-a right now,
or I'm going home.
451
00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:11,436
Well, then go...
Excuse me.
452
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:17,075
Because I'm not leaving
until my fa-jee-tas
are good and steaked.
453
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:18,376
End of story.
454
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:20,111
See, Bevy?
It all worked out.
455
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:23,548
We didn't get fa-jee-tas,
but we got something
even better,
456
00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:24,649
cheesesteaks from Jim's.
457
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,585
Yes, Murray,
it all worked out...
For you.
458
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,554
You can't still be mad.
459
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:30,154
Ho-ho, I am.
460
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,256
Mom, you should practice
fighting my wooden post.
461
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:35,293
It took four hours,
but I punched
all the rage out of me.
462
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,495
Look. You're just
as bad as me.
Me stubborn?
463
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,732
When Adam gets a bad grade,
who storms down to school
464
00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:44,302
and refuses to leave
until they change it?
Me, but...
465
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:47,605
And who had
a two-hour standoff
at the deli counter
466
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:49,507
about how to slice
turkey breasts?
467
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,343
Our family only eats
paper-thin meats.
468
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,212
And who argued
about the warranty
469
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:58,750
of a decade-old
washing machine and
somehow got it replaced?
470
00:16:58,752 --> 00:17:01,219
I didn't do those things
for me, Murray!
471
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:02,653
I did them for
the people I love!
472
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:05,356
So, yes, I'm stubborn
when it comes to my family.
473
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:08,726
But you? You're only stubborn
for the things you want.
474
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,762
And that's not just
being stubborn.
475
00:17:10,764 --> 00:17:13,664
That's just being
plain selfish.
476
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:21,572
ADULT ADAM: My date with Waffle Girl had turned into a massacre...
477
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:22,240
Of my dignity.
478
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:24,675
Alan, I'm pinned!
You have to help me!
479
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:28,279
Um, okay, Waffle Girl.
480
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:29,113
(PAINTBALL GUN FIRES)
481
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:32,450
Ow! Ow, ow, ow!
They keep hitting my hand.
482
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:33,718
Ugh. Your lady's
pinned, dude!
483
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,387
You're gonna
have to flank left,
draw enemy fire.
484
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:39,223
I'll break right,
she'll go for the flag.
485
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,291
Or another battle plan.
486
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:44,328
I flee back to the parking lot
and hide under your Tercel.
487
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:46,397
On 3. 3! (GRUNTS)
488
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,498
(PAINTBALL GUNFIRE)
489
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,467
(GROANING)
Oh! Oh, balls!
490
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,135
I surrender, damn it!
491
00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:54,238
Aah! Ew! Ow, ow, ow, ew!
492
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:55,273
I got it!
That's game!
493
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:58,176
(THE BEACH BOYS'
GOD ONLY KNOWS PLAYS)
You saved us, wuss bag.
494
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:00,745
I had 100 bucks
riding on this,
so I owe you one.
495
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,247
ADULT ADAM: Turns out, love can sting.
496
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:07,518
But as much pain as I was in, my sister hurt even more.
497
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:08,252
Fun time at paintball?
498
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:12,490
Yeah. I kind of made
an ass out of myself
in front of Waffle Girl.
499
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:15,526
Can't be worse than me.
You saw what happened.
500
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:19,697
Evy outed me, and everyone
thinks I'm a total joke.
501
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,432
Even Geoff?
502
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,301
Especially Geoff.
503
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:25,336
Anything I can do?
504
00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:26,304
I wish.
505
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:31,476
Truth is, at this point,
there is nothing
anybody can do.
506
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,444
It hard to watch someone you care about hurt,
507
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:37,648
but every once in a while, love can turn around and surprise you.
508
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,784
� If you should ever leave me �
509
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,687
Murray? What is this?
510
00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:43,754
I screwed up.
511
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,591
So I, uh, went back
to Chi-Chi's.
512
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:49,327
You went back to
the Mexican restaurant for me?
513
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:53,397
Look, I'm a stubborn bastard.
I always will be.
514
00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:58,469
But I realized
the most important thing
for me to be stubborn about
515
00:18:58,571 --> 00:18:59,637
is making you happy.
516
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:03,875
ADULT ADAM: That night, my dad gave up his stubborn ways.
517
00:19:03,877 --> 00:19:05,743
Eh, sort of.
518
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:06,277
Not bad.
519
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:08,746
It's not as sizzly when
you do them in the microwave.
520
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:11,449
But I don't know
how to work an oven,
and I refuse to learn.
521
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:16,721
And yet my dad still learned for one person, my mom.
522
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:17,855
Hey, Jan Brady.
523
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,490
You heading up
to Tappa Tappa Keg
524
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,459
to meet up with
Donnie McIntyre?
525
00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:22,627
It's Jordan Wahlberg.
526
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,629
EDDIE: (WHISTLES) Erica!
527
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:25,630
Why haven't
you called me back?
528
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:28,332
Kappa Phi is throwing
a kegger tonight.
529
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:29,767
You coming or what?
530
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:30,401
Holy! He's real?
531
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:35,239
Sorry, Jordan Wahlberg,
who is clearly very real
and very handsome.
532
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:36,274
I told you, we're over.
533
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,442
(CHUCKLES) Okay, wait.
Adam said if I...
534
00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:40,344
It's done,
so please just go.
535
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:44,382
Hey, sorry you guys
had to see that.
He's taking it hard.
536
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:47,552
Looks like it.
Are you okay?
537
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:50,888
Yeah. He just
wasn't the one.
538
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:54,592
� God only knows what I'd be without you �
539
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:57,929
Wow. Looks like you're
a true George Glass master.
540
00:19:57,931 --> 00:19:58,663
Why did you help me?
541
00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:01,365
Look, Waffle Girl is just
some random crush.
542
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:05,303
I don't even know her name,
and she thinks mine's Alan.
543
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:08,239
But you and Geoff,
that's the real deal.
544
00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:10,875
ADULT ADAM: No one's perfect when it comes to family.
545
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,644
Easy.
I'm still really sore.
546
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:13,945
(CHUCKLES)
547
00:20:13,947 --> 00:20:16,581
Sometimes we lie, sometimes we're stubborn.
548
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,616
Sometimes we get so caught up in ourselves
549
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:21,552
that we forget to look out for each other.
550
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:27,825
Oh, that's the Beach Boys.
Who was I thinking of?
551
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:29,260
The Monkees.
552
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:30,328
Ah, yeah, they're funny.
553
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,730
Maybe they'll be
at the next Live Aid.
554
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:33,898
ADULT ADAM:
But that's family for you.
555
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:38,002
In the end, God only knows where we'd be without each other.
556
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:40,338
Punchy, punchy,
kick, kick!
557
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:42,740
MURRAY: No, man,
don't do that.
558
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,676
I tried to park,
and you jumped
into the parking spot.
559
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,311
(BELL DINGS)
560
00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:48,779
Yeah, that's great.
561
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:50,915
I got 20 other people
who could say the same thing.
562
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,417
You don't got a camera.
Do you?
563
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,553
Yes.
Come on down with it.
564
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:58,689
I got what I want.
Hi, Mom.
565
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:03,628
You made some headway
on Operation Waffle Girl.
566
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:06,764
Only took you four years,
but worth the wait.
567
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,032
I want to
ask her out again,
568
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:09,800
preferably to something
not painful.
569
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:13,471
Oh, no, you don't, Mister.
No more Waffle Girl.
570
00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:15,439
She is much too old
for you.
571
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:18,776
Mom, I'm an actual man now,
a man with needs.
572
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:22,813
And I'm gonna show Waffle Girl
just how much of a man I am,
573
00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:24,649
and it's gonna get
so freaky that she...
574
00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:27,652
She's right there
behind me, isn't she?
575
00:21:28,321 --> 00:21:30,888
I'll come back
in another four years.
50169
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