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1
00:00:00,066 --> 00:00:02,968
Adult adam: Back in the '80s, this is what cool looked like.
2
00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:05,304
The makeup was as heavy as the perfume,
3
00:00:05,306 --> 00:00:06,705
The hair crimped and curled,
4
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:09,875
And most importantly, the shoulders bared.
5
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:11,510
Even though my sister owned the look,
6
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,812
It was a bumpy ride to get her there.
7
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:14,580
Back in ninth grade,
8
00:00:14,582 --> 00:00:18,584
My sister was a giant ball of awkwardness.
9
00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:20,252
Hi, dan.
10
00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:21,320
(gasps)
11
00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:22,388
Cool clarinet.
(laughs)
12
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:26,191
(lisping) um... So, I know
I've asked a few times,
13
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,526
But did you
ever figure out
14
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,595
Your plans
for the winter formal?
15
00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:30,462
Listen, erica...
16
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:33,132
I only like you
as a lab partner.
17
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,034
And to be honest,
e-even then,
18
00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:38,103
I fantasize about
other lab partners,
19
00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:39,505
So...
20
00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:42,241
Adult adam: But then, a miracle happened.
21
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:44,243
Erica goldberg got contact lenses,
22
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:48,580
Stopped shampooing with bar soap, lost her braces,
23
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:52,851
And learned how to tame her rat's nest.
24
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:54,787
And just like that,
25
00:00:54,789 --> 00:00:58,757
My sister blossomed from awkward to awesome.
26
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,727
Hey. Hi, erica.
27
00:01:02,195 --> 00:01:03,162
Hey, don.
28
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:04,296
It's, uh...
It's dan.
29
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:07,833
But you could call me don
if you like that name better.
30
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,902
In fact, erica was so awesome that in one week,
31
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:13,405
She would get to be on the coolest tv show
32
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,075
Proudly filmed in our hometown.
33
00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:17,543
It was dance party usa...
34
00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:19,511
30 minutes of fierce '80s grooving
35
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:22,047
Featuring the hottest girls and baddest boys
36
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,649
In the skimpiest of belly shirts.
37
00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,851
Holy god,
look at those
dance moves!
38
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:27,920
Lainey: I'd do anything
to tease my bangs
that high.
39
00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:31,056
Just think.
In one week,
everyone in school
40
00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:32,791
Will see us dancing
under those neon lights.
41
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,393
We'll be
regionally famous.
42
00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,128
So, what moves
you gonna
bust out first?
43
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:37,930
I'm thinking
I'd walk like an egyptian
44
00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:39,765
Right into
the safety dance.
(lainey squealing)
45
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:43,302
Speaking of dancing,
barry has arrived!
46
00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:44,369
Whoo!
God, barry.
47
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:47,539
The only thing worse
than your moves
is your gross eye.
48
00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:49,274
It's just pink eye.
Everyone gets it.
49
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:53,445
Everyone doesn't get it
from a kaleidoscope
they found under a bridge.
50
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,347
A goopy eye
is well worth
51
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:58,417
The colorful view
of the world
this baby's given me.
52
00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:00,119
Honey, you're gonna
give it to your other eye.
53
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:01,987
Huh?
Adult adam:
Unlike erica,
54
00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:03,489
Barry was still struggling to find his awesomeness,
55
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:07,426
And growing that rat tail last summer didn't really help.
56
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:08,060
This...
57
00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:10,462
Will always
be awesome.
58
00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:13,565
I'm so stoked
to be on tv!
59
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:16,401
I want to make sure
I lock down
a solo platform.
60
00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:18,003
That sounds like
a perfect plan.
61
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:20,305
But there's only one
teeny, tiny problem...
62
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,306
You're not coming.
63
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,542
Lainey,
you're my girl, girl.
64
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,210
Talk some sense
into her.
65
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:26,712
You don't want him
to go?
66
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:27,412
No.
Sorry.
67
00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:29,781
Did everything
I could.
Come on, baby.
68
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:32,584
Look in my good eye
and give me
one reason why?
69
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,620
Barry,
this is going on tv.
70
00:02:34,622 --> 00:02:35,721
They don't want
spazzy dancing freaks
71
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:38,657
Who lose their mind
when the lunch lady
runs out of pudding.
72
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,159
That only happened
three times!
73
00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:43,529
They should know by now
to fully stock the pudding!
74
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:44,930
Sweetie,
you're doing it again.
75
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:48,867
Fine. I'll just...
Dance it off, okay?
76
00:02:49,202 --> 00:02:50,602
Watch me go.
77
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:52,471
How can you deny
the world
78
00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:54,840
This sweet
rhythmic magic, huh?
79
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:57,009
Oh, is this
happening?
What?
80
00:02:57,011 --> 00:02:59,011
Barry: Get away!
I'm contagious!
81
00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:00,746
The only thing
that's contagious
82
00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:03,315
Are your sweet
dance moves.
83
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:04,883
¶ I'm twisted up inside
84
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:08,820
¶ but nonetheless I feel the need to say
85
00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:11,924
¶ I don't know the future
86
00:03:11,926 --> 00:03:16,028
¶ but the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶
87
00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:18,297
Adult adam:
It was April 29, 1980-something,
88
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:19,765
And I was about to spend the day
89
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:23,669
With the most magical badass I knew... Pops.
90
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:24,303
Here you go, boys.
91
00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:26,405
Toad in the hole
for my snuggle face,
92
00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:27,206
Raisin bran
and prune juice
93
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,575
For the coolest
and most regular
daddy I know.
94
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:31,310
That's a pass
on breakfast, bev.
95
00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:34,980
Me and the kid are headed out
for a big day on the town.
96
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:36,215
First,
tennis at the club.
97
00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:38,016
And if there's time,
we hit the art museum.
98
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:40,485
Honestly, there should be
a museum for the two of you.
99
00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:43,822
It will be called
the shmoopie center
for cuteness
100
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:45,290
And I will be the curator
101
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:46,725
And people will line up
for blocks
102
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,093
Just to delight
in your deliciousness.
103
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:50,529
She just had
her morning coffee.
You go.
104
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:51,597
I'll stay and be a body
in the room for her.
105
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:54,633
Adult adam: And go we did, but not to tennis or a museum, no.
106
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:58,637
¶ you got the touch we headed to the south jersey gem known as atlantic city.
107
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:02,641
¶ you got the power back then, it was a sketchy, degenerate wonderland
108
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:05,811
Where they actually let in a baby-faced boy like me...
109
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,012
No questions asked.
110
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:09,815
Pops' game of choice was craps.
111
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,116
And although no human could understand it,
112
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:13,151
All I knew was that as long as my grandfather
113
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:15,954
Had his lucky watch, the man was unstoppable. ¶ you're a winner
114
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:20,826
¶ you got the touch ¶
dealer: Seven out.
Seven out.
115
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:22,127
Is that bad?
116
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:22,761
Oh, not for us.
117
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:26,632
I dropped a c-note
on the come
at the last second,
118
00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:27,833
So now we're up 50.
119
00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:30,369
My god,
even when you lose you win.
120
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:33,472
Here you go, al.
Seafood buffet on us.
121
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,641
Free all-you-can-eat
popcorn shrimp?
122
00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:38,410
Seriously, how
does this casino
stay in business?
123
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:40,912
As I was living it up with my hero,
124
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:42,481
Barry was beyond desperate
125
00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:45,484
To no longer be the crusty eyed zero.
126
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:47,819
Yo! Big "e"!
127
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:48,987
Siblings, am I right?
128
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,389
You can't
come with us.
129
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:51,423
Just hear me out.
130
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:54,893
Dance party usa
is the one chance I get
131
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:55,661
To show everyone
at school
132
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,529
That I'm not just
a pink-eyed loser
133
00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:59,965
Dating some girl
out of his league.
134
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,667
They'll have to
respect the guy
135
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:03,935
Who danced briefly
on local television.
136
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:05,904
I'm begging you
with all my heart.
137
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,739
Please do this for me.
138
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:10,075
I'm glad you came to me
with this,
139
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:11,510
And I really appreciate
your honesty.
140
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:14,179
And now I hope,
you can appreciate mine.
141
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,380
I think you're unappealing
and gross.
142
00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:20,085
Adult adam: Barry knew no amount of begging could change erica's mind.
143
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:25,490
What he didn't know was that pink eye is highly contagious.
144
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,892
(school bell rings)
ahhh!
145
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,226
What's happening
on your face?
146
00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:30,128
I caught barry's
gross pink eye.
147
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,163
I can't
wear my contacts.
148
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:33,932
At all? We're supposed
to be on tv in three days.
149
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:35,600
Move it, lainey.
Get to class.
150
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:38,704
Ugh. Take mrs. Magoo
with you.
151
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:41,273
Don't worry, lainey.
I'll look fine for tv.
152
00:05:41,275 --> 00:05:42,841
These are just
reading glasses.
153
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,610
I don't need them
to see.
154
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:47,079
(clang)
155
00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:47,579
Ahhh!
156
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,214
How did you
not see that?
157
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:52,417
'cause I lied!
I want to dance on tv!
158
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:53,552
Walk it off,
goldberg.
159
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:54,753
Adult adam:
As erica was headed
160
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:56,188
For an emergency dental procedure,
161
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:58,023
Pops and I were headed home winners.
162
00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:00,926
That's another one
for the record books.
163
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:04,563
Here's your taste
of the action, kiddo.
164
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:06,131
Always a pleasure.
165
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:07,099
Me too, pops.
166
00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:08,600
I'm just hoping
one of these days,
167
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,702
Some of your awesomeness
will rub off on me.
168
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,638
What are you talking about?
You're plenty awesome.
169
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:14,206
Not like you.
170
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:17,042
Your life is a parade
of money, free shrimp,
171
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:20,379
And old ladies
that you find hot
and I find sad.
172
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,614
You're the luckiest guy
I know.
173
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:23,215
It's like magic.
174
00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:25,050
Trust me,
you have it in you, too.
175
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,552
Really? 'cause my life
hasn't been magical at all.
176
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,288
Even at magic camp,
I was a total third-stringer.
177
00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:33,792
All the magic you need
is right in here.
178
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:37,729
If you just
believe in yourself
like I do...
179
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:38,330
You can't lose.
180
00:06:38,332 --> 00:06:40,632
Adult adam:
After pops made me realize I was a winner,
181
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:44,503
I tested my gambling skills at the riskiest game in town...
182
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:45,070
Finger football.
183
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,738
What do you say
we make this interesting?
Fine.
184
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,807
The big boys play
for lunch snacks.
185
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,709
What did your hot mom
pack for dessert today?
186
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:51,476
She is hot, dude.
187
00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,545
Dave kim
likes an hourglass shape.
188
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:55,881
Harkens back
to old hollywood.
189
00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:56,948
Shut up, dave kim.
190
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,817
And lunch snacks
are adorable,
191
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:03,054
But I say we play
for your hulk issue 181.
192
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:03,755
What are you offering?
193
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,290
Let me just whip out
my money clip here.
194
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:09,294
How's about every series 1
garbage pail kid I got.
195
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:10,395
Big mistake, goldberg.
196
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:12,264
The mistake is yours,
bro.
197
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,532
¶ you got the touch
adult adam: This was it.
198
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,467
Thanks to pops, I knew I had the magic touch...
199
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:18,403
¶ you got the power ¶ and nothing could stop my luck.
200
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:19,771
(music stops)
(sighs)
201
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,040
Nice doing business
with you.
Wait.
202
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:23,241
You can't
just walk away now.
203
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:25,777
Double or nothing.
I'm listening.
204
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,379
I bet my megatron.
205
00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:29,281
I bet all my robots.
206
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:32,617
My entire
nintendo system.
207
00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:34,686
All my games.
208
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,354
Is my soul
worth anything?
209
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:38,056
(all groan)
210
00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:40,158
It's gone.
211
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,359
It's all gone.
212
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,161
Walk it off, goldberg.
213
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,597
Adult adam: And so ended the worst losing streak
214
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:47,299
In finger football history.
215
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,367
What are you doing
sitting in the dark?
216
00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:50,635
I had a terrible day.
217
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,737
I gambled pretty bad,
and I lost.
218
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:55,140
Well, hey,
that's why you always keep
219
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:58,310
A spare pair of underpants
in your locker.
220
00:07:58,312 --> 00:07:59,044
That gem's for free.
221
00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:02,881
No! I lost my toys
to garry ball
playing finger football.
222
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:07,285
Pops convinced me
that I was lucky like him,
but I'm not.
223
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:10,422
I found this guy
trying to hide under my bed.
224
00:08:10,424 --> 00:08:12,858
I know you're scared,
starscream.
225
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:13,625
So am I.
226
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:14,860
I'm not sure
what I'm watching here,
227
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,761
But at least you learned
a valuable lesson.
228
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:18,296
All gamblers
eventually lose.
229
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,665
Not pops. He always wins.
It's like the man's magic.
230
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:24,135
Except he does lose,
and there's no such thing
as magic.
231
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,137
You do know that,
right?
So...
232
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:30,542
You're saying my hero
is just a regular old man
233
00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:32,744
And there really is
no magic in the world?
234
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:36,047
Yes.
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
235
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:36,715
Don't listen to him.
236
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,950
You just continue loving pops
the way you always have.
237
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:42,287
Your dad's the reason
he gambled
all his stuff away.
238
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:43,388
Well,
then pops will fix it.
239
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:44,856
I'll take him
down to the school,
240
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,658
He'll work
his magical magic,
241
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,393
And get it all back
for you.
242
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:49,294
Really?
Really.
243
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:50,395
Really?
Really.
244
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:53,231
Adult adam: And with that, my mom rushed off
245
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:56,101
To settle my gambling debts.
246
00:08:57,136 --> 00:08:59,404
...19, 20.
247
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:01,206
All right.
(blows whistle)
248
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:01,806
Hit the showers.
249
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:06,244
And don't wear
your underwear in there
like a bunch of weirdos.
250
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:06,611
Coach.
251
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,747
I'm kind of going through
some personal stuff.
252
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:09,881
Do you have time
to talk?
253
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,350
I'm not just your
wrestling coach,
goldberg.
254
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,552
I'm your life coach.
255
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:14,953
Now drop
and give me feelings.
256
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,254
Everyone in school
thinks I'm a joke.
257
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,156
Maybe, I am.
I can't change that.
258
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,525
But being on tv
is a game changer.
259
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,060
I was thinking
if someone taught me
260
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,161
Some sweet
dance moves,
261
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,664
Maybe everyone
would look past
who I really am.
262
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,032
Why you coming to me
for this?
263
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:28,633
I remember you told me
you took up tap dancing
264
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:31,202
To help you with your
balance and flexibility.
265
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:33,438
Not true.
Tap is for wuss-bags.
266
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,507
I took modern.
It's a man's dance.
267
00:09:35,509 --> 00:09:38,310
So... Maybe,
you can help me?
Okay, son.
268
00:09:38,312 --> 00:09:41,580
I'm gonna tell you
the same thing I told
my ex-wife's lawyer...
269
00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:44,349
You better bring
everything you got.
270
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:44,883
Let's dance.
271
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:47,686
Adult adam: And with that, coach mellor would train barry
272
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,688
To dance his way to local tv stardom.
273
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,122
¶ you got the touch with moves this flawless,
274
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:52,857
Erica and lainey would have no choice but to...
275
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:55,594
But to look past the pink in barry's eye ¶ you got the power
276
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:59,064
And into the fire in his heart.
277
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:00,498
¶ oh
278
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:03,835
¶ after all is said and done
279
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:07,505
¶ you've never walked you've never run
280
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:10,542
¶ you're a winner
281
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:14,446
¶ you're at your best when the going gets rough
282
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:20,051
¶ you've been put to the test but it's never enough
283
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:22,554
¶ you got the touch
284
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:27,592
¶ you got the power ¶
285
00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,061
Oh, my god,
it's midnight.
286
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:34,833
Mellor: Welcome to
the first midnight
of the rest of your life...
287
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:38,103
(groans)
'cause I taught you
to dance.
288
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:38,536
And now...
289
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:41,406
You will succeed
at the thing
you wanted.
290
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:42,040
Whatever that was.
291
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,775
Adult adam: While barry had some new sweet moves,
292
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:46,778
My mom was using some old ones on principal ball.
293
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,313
Thank you for agreeing
to meet with me
294
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,914
On such short notice,
earl.
295
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:51,549
You're welcome,
but technically,
296
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:52,717
You just pounded
on the door
297
00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:54,019
While I tried
to hold my breath
298
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:55,453
Until you heard me
gasp for air,
299
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:56,755
Then you barged
right in.
300
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,523
Look, I know you're
in a tough position
301
00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:01,593
Being both principal
and garry's father,
302
00:11:01,595 --> 00:11:03,728
But something
very upsetting
303
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:05,230
Has happened
between our boys.
304
00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:08,967
The finger football fiasco.
I am so sorry.
305
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:11,403
I told garry,
gambling in school
306
00:11:11,405 --> 00:11:12,671
Will never
be tolerated again.
307
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:15,640
So, I'll just swing by later
and pick up adam's toys?
308
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:17,409
Oh, gosh no.
Garry won them in a bet.
309
00:11:17,411 --> 00:11:18,677
So they're
his toys now.
310
00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:22,447
But you just said
gambling at school
was unacceptable.
311
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:23,048
Completely.
312
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:25,884
However, welching
on a gentleman's wager
is even worse.
313
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:29,154
That is an important
life lesson for our boys
to learn.
314
00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:31,423
But I think
the takeaway here is,
315
00:11:31,425 --> 00:11:32,891
You never bet
against a ball.
316
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:34,459
Oh, is that
the takeaway?
317
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:35,894
We're an unusually
lucky brood.
318
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:39,497
Well, why not put your money
where your mouth is, ball?
319
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:40,398
Meaning?
You may be lucky,
320
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:44,502
But when it comes
to beverly goldberg's
love of her children,
321
00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:45,403
She never loses.
322
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:48,073
If I win,
I get adam's things back.
323
00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:48,673
If I lose...
324
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:51,476
I'll stay out of your office
for a week.
325
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:54,345
(drawer opens)
(drawer closes)
326
00:11:57,450 --> 00:12:01,720
Mississippi stud, deuces
and one-eyed jacks are wild.
327
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:02,520
I only know
the... The game
328
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:05,090
Where you do
the flippy thing
with the card
329
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,424
And the highest one wins.
330
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:09,494
You want war?
You got it.
331
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:10,495
Ace.
Two!
332
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,797
Damn it!
Double or nothing.
333
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,799
King.
Two!
334
00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:15,500
Damn it!
335
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:17,635
Shall we go
for a year?
336
00:12:17,837 --> 00:12:20,805
How did it go, bev?
Did you strong-arm him
or what?
337
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:21,940
I'll explain
in the car.
338
00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:24,309
I'm not allowed
on school grounds
for the next decade.
339
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:27,846
Hold on. Let me just go in
and charm the man.
340
00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:28,847
It's my thing.
341
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:31,950
Okay, fine,
but listen to me
very carefully.
342
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:35,887
Under no circumstances
are you to play war.
343
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,323
What happened
to your jacket?
344
00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:39,023
(bleep) that guy.
345
00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:41,860
Adult adam:
While pops and my mom needed a new plan
346
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:42,961
To get back my prized possessions,
347
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:46,631
Barry planned to win over lainey with his new dance moves.
348
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:48,967
(sneakers squeak)
oh, hello.
349
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,602
Barry? (chuckles)
350
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,871
Uh, what are you doing?
351
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,540
Now finish it.
352
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,044
I can't believe
I'm saying this,
353
00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:01,446
But that was kind of hot.
354
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:02,814
Welcome to
the new barry,
355
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:05,717
And the new barry's
been working
on his moves.
356
00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:06,718
Hmm.
What's up, gang?
357
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,086
(both screaming)
(lisping) I know.
358
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:10,321
I messed my teeth up
when my face hit that locker
359
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:13,191
So dr. Chang put me
in some temporary braces.
360
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:16,127
Did dr. Chang
do something
to your hair, too?
361
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,664
Oh, no, I tried
to cheer myself up
with a home perm, but...
362
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:23,601
I can't see good,
so...Yeah.
363
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:24,202
Well, good news is,
364
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,703
The whole package
kind of goes together.
(chuckles)
365
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:29,774
Yeah, you have this whole
cat lady drifter thing
going on.
366
00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:31,009
Shut up, will ya?
367
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:33,411
I'll totally be camera-ready
by tomorrow.
368
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:34,979
Uh, in light of your recent
medical issues,
369
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,181
Maybe I should just go
with barry instead?
370
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:39,217
No. Barry, you're my brother.
Talk some sense into her.
371
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:41,186
Do you want her
to go like this?
372
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:42,687
No.
I'm sorry.
373
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:43,421
I did everything
I could.
374
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:47,192
Fine! I don't want to go to
the stupid dance party anyway.
375
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:51,729
I'll just eat my soft foods
and go, hmm?
376
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:55,333
Dang it,
where's the pudding?
377
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,468
Sorry, we're all out.
Got some pears, though.
378
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,771
I don't want a pear.
I want chocolate.
379
00:13:59,773 --> 00:14:02,106
Again,
we have no pudding.
380
00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:02,841
We have pears.
381
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:05,376
Fine. You want me
to take a damn pear?
382
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,378
Then I'll take
all the pears, woman.
383
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,848
That way,
you'll run out of pears
384
00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:11,349
Instead of pudding!
385
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:12,617
Adult adam:
For the first time,
386
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:15,854
Erica got a taste of what it was like to be her brother.
Oh, my.
387
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:16,354
Yeah!
388
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,922
But none of barry's public meltdowns
389
00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:21,359
Ever rivaled my sister's pear-throwing, pudding rant.
390
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,594
Huh?
Everyone gets a pear!
391
00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:25,997
All right, show's over!
My office!
(erica screams)
392
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:27,432
(shoes squeaking)
393
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:28,633
Whoa!
394
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:29,067
(thud)
395
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:31,870
Oh!
Ooh, that's gonna be
a tough one to walk off.
396
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:34,172
While erica was forced into detention,
397
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:35,840
I was forced to entertain myself
398
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:38,109
With my backup toys form the '70s.
399
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:41,312
Big news, little man.
Guess who just won
400
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:42,714
All your toys back.
401
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:43,281
It was me.
402
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:47,085
Yeah, I did exactly whatever
she's about to tell you.
403
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:47,819
Really? How?
404
00:14:47,821 --> 00:14:50,054
Specifics
aren't important.
(chuckles)
405
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:53,258
What matters is that pops
once again saved the day.
406
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:54,859
That's why
he's your hero.
407
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:56,761
He really is.
408
00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:01,566
What the hell
is this?
409
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:04,369
Oh, that's one of those,
uh, robo change 'em ups
410
00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:05,536
You love so much.
411
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:06,437
This is a gobot.
412
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,940
I gambled away
all my transformers.
413
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:11,476
And the difference
would be?
414
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,778
This is a transformer...
415
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:15,647
And this is a gobot.
416
00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:16,547
Look at the obvious
difference.
417
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:19,651
Forget about the robots.
Look what you've got here.
418
00:15:19,653 --> 00:15:21,219
(singsong)
nintardo!
419
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:22,620
What did
you just call me?
420
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,889
No, it's the thing you play
all day long... Nintardo.
421
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:27,859
Oh, my god,
are you combining
nintendo and atari
422
00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:29,994
Into some horrible
mom word?
423
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:30,662
Bev, enough.
424
00:15:30,664 --> 00:15:33,798
It's time we just
level with the kid.
425
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:35,600
I, uh...
426
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:38,636
May have gone
to the toy store
to replace your toys.
427
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:42,106
Pops, why couldn't you
just win it all back for me?
428
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,574
That's the thing.
Over the years,
429
00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:45,810
I may have fudged
a few details
430
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,111
About how much
I've won.
431
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,780
What are you
talking about?
432
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,415
I've see you win
so much at casinos,
433
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,884
They shower you
with the freshest seafood
434
00:15:52,886 --> 00:15:53,551
The ocean has to offer.
435
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:57,488
First of all,
that seafood is both frozen
436
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:58,523
And of
the lowest quality.
437
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:02,193
And they give it to you
when you bet aggressively
and lose.
438
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:06,564
So, have you been fudging
other things, too?
439
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,066
No... Maybe.
440
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,168
What about
all your legendary
war stories?
441
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,070
Are those true?
Well, mostly.
442
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:14,539
Did you karate-kick
mussolini in the face?
443
00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:17,608
No, but I was
a very outspoken critic.
444
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:18,176
Unbelievable.
445
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,845
My whole life,
I thought that
you were special.
446
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:23,514
But you're
just a liar.
447
00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:29,687
Adult adam:
It had been an hour since erica's meltdown,
448
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:31,656
And she was feeling the pain.
449
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:32,457
This is a nightmare.
450
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:37,128
Well, why don't you
let coach buck you up
with a little story?
451
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:37,695
Please don't.
452
00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:39,764
It's about an awkward
and goofy-looking
caterpillar.
453
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:43,368
She had heart,
she had spirit,
but nobody saw it
454
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:47,705
Because on the outside,
she had wild hair
and a jacked-up eye.
455
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:49,374
You're clearly talking
about me.
456
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:51,709
No, I'm talking
about a caterpillar.
457
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,911
I'm clearly
the caterpillar.
458
00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:57,682
Anyway, this caterpillar,
who is not you,
459
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,684
Eventually spun herself
460
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,253
A little cocoon
of confidence.
461
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:03,921
And then...
462
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,123
Poof
463
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:08,559
What emerged was but
a beautiful butterfly.
464
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:09,961
Oh, my god!
465
00:17:09,963 --> 00:17:11,129
Y-you're giving me
the uggo speech.
466
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:14,298
That's the same story
you tell all the dorks
and losers.
467
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:15,433
Wait,
people know this?
468
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:18,403
I know it,
'cause you gave it
to me in ninth grade.
469
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:22,006
Really? That's a heck
of a long time
to be in a cocoon.
470
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:23,408
I'm a butterfly!
471
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:25,643
I'm just going through
some stuff, okay?
472
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,545
Well, then,
let me tell you
another story
473
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,480
About a lady
who never got married,
474
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:32,216
But she became
one heck of a cool aunt.
475
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,851
I'm a butterfly.
476
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,720
Yes, you are...
477
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,789
Under your skin.
478
00:17:38,023 --> 00:17:40,625
Here's a pudding.
Thought you could use it.
479
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:44,829
Just go away.
I don't want
your pity pudding.
480
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:47,065
Damn it.
Yes, I do.
481
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,536
Okay,
I talked to lainey,
482
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:55,106
And we want you
to come with us
to dance party usa.
483
00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:57,108
I can't go on tv
looking like this.
484
00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:59,677
I can't even go out
in the world like this.
485
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:00,878
Trust me, you can.
486
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,046
How would you know?
487
00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:03,448
Honestly?
488
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:03,981
This...
489
00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:05,883
Is what I feel like
every day.
490
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:09,420
When I saw you freaking out
in the cafeteria, I saw me.
491
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:13,791
And I realized,
I never want to see you
feel that way again.
492
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,693
Why are you being
so nice to me?
493
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,795
'cause no matter
how scary you look,
494
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,163
You'll always be
my big sister.
495
00:18:19,165 --> 00:18:21,699
(sobbing)
that's just so nice.
496
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,367
Oh, god,
don't hug me.
497
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:24,502
¶ highway run
ooh, I need to hug you.
498
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:27,505
Adult adam:
Sure, erica and barry never really saw eye-to-eye.
499
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,540
¶ into the midnight sun but for the first time,
500
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,642
They saw each other clearer than ever.
501
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:33,978
¶ wheels go 'round and 'round
murray:
Oh, look at you.
502
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,179
You got all your
crap back.
503
00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:37,048
Only 'cause I agreed
to give garry
504
00:18:37,050 --> 00:18:39,650
All of my desserts at lunch
until we graduate.
505
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:42,887
You know, you were right.
Pops isn't a hero.
506
00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:45,356
He's a fraud.
That's not what I meant.
507
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:48,025
Listen,
pops may not be magic,
508
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:49,894
But he's
a terrific grandfather
509
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,662
And he's always
there for you.
510
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:54,065
But he still
lied to me.
511
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:55,066
He exaggerated.
512
00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:57,401
That's what
all grandfathers do.
513
00:18:57,403 --> 00:18:58,269
You know why?
514
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,605
'cause they want you
to love them
515
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:01,372
As much as they love you.
516
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:06,144
Adult adam: Thanks to my dad, I realized that pops wasn't the lucky one.
517
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:09,113
I was for having him in my life.
518
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:10,481
Hey, pops, what's with
the bran cereal?
519
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:14,552
Don't you want to
hit the waffle house
and the museum?
520
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:14,952
Always.
521
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:18,656
I...I just assumed
you didn't want
to go with me anymore.
522
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,857
Just do me a favor
523
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:22,960
And give it to me straight
from here on out.
524
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:23,761
Deal.
525
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,363
And I'm gonna start
526
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:26,898
By giving you this.
527
00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:29,634
¶ I'm forever yours
my grandpa gave it to me,
528
00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:33,971
And now I carry him
with me wherever I go.
529
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:35,706
Now...
530
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:38,676
You'll carry me
with you.
531
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,978
And if that ain't magic,
I don't know what is.
532
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:44,015
Adult adam: When you're young, it's easy to believe in magic.
533
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:44,582
Come on, kid.
534
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,918
Beverly: Have fun
with your grandfather.
535
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,353
Oh, and no atlantic city!
536
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,322
That's right!
I know!
537
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:52,056
But as you get older,
538
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:56,360
You realize the real magic comes from the people you love.
539
00:20:00,065 --> 00:20:02,466
¶ faithfully
540
00:20:03,635 --> 00:20:07,872
¶ I'm still yours ¶
541
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:10,541
Adult adam: Truth is, your greatest memories
542
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:14,011
Are always the ones with family at your side.
543
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:15,046
Sure, they may not be pretty
544
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,047
Or turn out exactly as you planned.
545
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:19,283
In fact, some of our most embarrassing moments
546
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:21,619
Lead to our greatest victories.
547
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:26,023
Of course, at the time, it may not seem that way.
548
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:29,393
It's only when you sit down and take a good look back
549
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:30,695
That you can't help but smile
550
00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:32,730
'cause it's those very flaws...
(both laugh)
551
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:37,835
That make the memories absolutely perfect.
(chuckles)
552
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:54,352
(indistinct conversations)
553
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,187
Happy to report
the dorks and dinks
554
00:20:56,189 --> 00:20:57,989
Are afraid
to talk to me again.
555
00:20:57,991 --> 00:20:59,023
All is right
with the world.
556
00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:00,491
Well, now that you've been
on the other side,
557
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:01,659
Maybe you'll have pity
for them.
558
00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:04,262
(scoffs)
lainey:
What's up, gang?
559
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:05,363
Oh my!
Whoa!
560
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:08,165
Got your stupid pink eye...
In both eyes.
561
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:10,201
And I was so upset
I threw my hair dryer
562
00:21:10,203 --> 00:21:11,035
Against the wall
and broke it.
563
00:21:11,037 --> 00:21:14,205
Now I'm so stressed,
I think I may be getting
a little pimple.
564
00:21:14,207 --> 00:21:14,772
Am I?
565
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:16,507
There might be
something coming in.
566
00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:17,975
(sighs)
I'm so sorry, barry.
567
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:20,077
If you don't want
to be seen with me,
I totally get it.
568
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:22,947
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm super into this.
569
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,548
I love dating
a weirdo.
570
00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:26,550
That's right you do.
51472
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