Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,433 --> 00:00:05,471
Adult adam: Growing up, my brother fancied himself quite the ladies' man.
2
00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:08,707
Unfortunately, the only lady who was into him
3
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:09,308
Was this lady.
4
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:12,945
I know I'm your mother,
but I think I can say this
without bias.
5
00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:15,647
Uh, you are an adonis
cut from marble
6
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:18,017
Sent from heaven
to be scrumptious.
7
00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:20,719
(chuckles) oh,
you got some schmutz.
8
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:21,553
Adult adam: Truth is,
9
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:25,657
Barry had absolutely no game in the woman department.
10
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:26,191
(tires screech)
11
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:28,861
Guess who's gonna be
a professional bmx biker.
12
00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:30,429
Guess who doesn't care.
13
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:31,363
Okay, then.
14
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,198
Adult adam:
Yep. No game whatsoever.
15
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,535
(rapping)
¶ big tasty wants to take you on a boat ride
16
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,405
¶ I know it's not good timing 'cause your cat died ¶
17
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:42,474
Adult adam:
Especially when it came to erica's best friend, lainey.
18
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:46,111
She was the girl he pined after since first grade.
19
00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:49,081
Unfortunately, it wasn't reciprocated.
20
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:51,550
Yep, my brother was a lost cause...
21
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:52,785
Or so we thought.
22
00:00:52,787 --> 00:00:55,220
"general hospital's" on.
Get out.
23
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:55,754
Can't. I'm busy.
24
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:58,891
Doing what?
Sitting down here alone,
like a weirdo?
25
00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:00,659
Sometimes I just like
to light a candle
26
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,328
And sit
with my thoughts.
(clank)
27
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,999
Erica, wait!
Lainey?
28
00:01:07,001 --> 00:01:08,500
Hey.
(laughs nervously)
29
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:11,870
Just looking for my scrunchie.
Guess it's not down there.
30
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,105
It's in your hair.
31
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:15,274
Oh! So it is.
(laughs)
32
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:17,976
It's always
the last place you look.
Okay, bye-bye now.
33
00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:19,912
No, come back!
34
00:01:20,046 --> 00:01:21,613
Hold it right there!
35
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:24,483
Are you and barry,
together?
36
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,251
No. Not really.
I mean, kinda.
37
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,220
He repulses me,
but I'm still drawn to him.
38
00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:29,321
Ew!
I know!
39
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:31,090
He's clumsy and annoying
and has those big,
40
00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:33,692
Brown eyes and cute dimples
when he smiles.
41
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:34,293
Ew!
I know!
42
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:37,763
Lainey, we're talking
about my brother.
This has to stop!
43
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:38,630
I know!
Ew!
44
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,833
I've tried, but I keep
getting pulled back in.
45
00:01:40,835 --> 00:01:42,101
It's like
he annoys me so much,
46
00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:44,203
I just want
to kiss his stupid face.
47
00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:45,737
Ew!
I know!
48
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:46,138
Ladies.
49
00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:49,108
Can I interest either of you
in an orange crush on ice?
50
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,209
Both: Ew! You!
Me.
51
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:52,911
Gotta go.
You cannot date
my best friend.
52
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:54,780
It's an unholy union!
I forbid it!
(door closing)
53
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:58,050
Please do.
Forbidden love
is the best kind of love.
54
00:01:58,052 --> 00:02:00,853
Right after tender
and jungle.
55
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:02,087
(laughing) oh!
56
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:02,888
You're delusional.
57
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:04,656
Your relationship's
not even real.
58
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,225
Why do you think
she's keeping it a secret?
59
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:07,726
Oh, we'll see
how much of a secret it is
60
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:12,097
After lainey asks me
to the darryl dawkins
dance this Friday.
61
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:13,232
Darryl dawkins?
62
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:13,999
Do you mean sadie hawkins?
63
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:18,237
No! I'm talking about
the dance when the girls
ask the guys.
64
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:21,140
It's named
after the basketball
player darryl dawkins.
65
00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:21,807
Who?
66
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:25,310
Dr. Dunkenstein,
the rim wrecker,
67
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,211
Chocolate thunder,
68
00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:28,013
Don't fake the funk
on a nasty dunk.
69
00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:30,349
Why would a dance
where the girls ask the guys
70
00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:31,450
Be named after
a basketball player?
71
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:34,019
'cause it's like
the ball's in your court,
girl.
72
00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:36,088
That actually makes
a tiny bit of sense.
73
00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:38,023
But lainey's
not asking you.
74
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:38,824
Oh, she will.
75
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:41,260
And we'll dance,
and we'll drink punch,
76
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:44,129
And we'll fall in love,
and we'll get married.
77
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:45,230
Stop talking.
78
00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:46,832
Keep talking.
Who's getting married?
79
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,767
I heard "married,"
and I came running.
80
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:49,735
Both: No one.
81
00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:50,536
Well, just so you know,
82
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:54,072
I've picked out the
perfect person for each
of my children,
83
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:55,407
So whenever you're ready,
84
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,776
I can introduce you
to your soul mate.
85
00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:58,443
Pass!
Pass.
86
00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:01,580
Come on. Don't you want
what your father and I have?
87
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:03,382
Murray: Bevy!
88
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,984
I dropped your toothbrush
in the toilet again.
89
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:07,686
Did you do the right thing
and toss it,
90
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,655
Or did you put it
back in the holder?
91
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,924
The right thing.
92
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,529
Soul mates.
93
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:19,331
¶ I'm twisted up inside
94
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:24,937
¶ but nonetheless I feel the need to say
95
00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:26,672
¶ I don't know the future
96
00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:30,909
¶ but the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶
97
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:32,678
Adult adam:
It was Saturday morning, 1980-something,
98
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,681
And that meant one thing... Cartoons.
(grunts)
99
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:39,051
Children across america would park themselves on the couch
100
00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:42,588
And be sucked into endless hours of their favorite shows.
101
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:45,390
There was g.I. Joe,
dinosaucers.
102
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,091
The real ghostbusters,
103
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:49,795
And the greatest one of all,
transformers.
104
00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:53,498
So, they're robots...
But they're also cars?
105
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:56,535
And trucks and planes
and sometimes dinosaurs.
106
00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,503
Why would you ruin
a perfectly good fiero
107
00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:01,039
By turning it into
some dumb robot?
108
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,175
Dumb? It's the world's
greatest cartoon.
109
00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:04,710
They just came out
with an animated movie.
110
00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:07,045
They took this
and made it longer?
I don't get it.
111
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:11,149
Oh, but a grown man
hitting a ball
with a stick...
112
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,150
That makes sense?
113
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:14,119
Don't you
come after baseball.
114
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:14,953
It's america's pastime.
115
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:17,990
And robots
are america's future!
Deal with it!
116
00:04:17,992 --> 00:04:19,825
Deal with what?
Robots aren't even real.
117
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:23,895
Oh, you'll see
how real they are when
cyborgs take over
118
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,564
And outlaw
your precious baseball.
119
00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:27,466
Never.
And you know why?
120
00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:29,434
Because we will rise up
with our bats
121
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,637
And destroy
those metal bastards.
122
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,939
A bat
against a plasma cannon?
123
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:36,608
Good luck mining steel
for your robot overlords.
124
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:39,111
Okay, this has gotten
away from us.
125
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:42,080
I'll take him
to the talking-car movie.
126
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:43,582
You do what you do.
127
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:44,049
(groans)
128
00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:45,517
Adult adam:
Pops could care less about my silly cartoon,
129
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:49,855
But my best friend would pretend to love anything for me.
130
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:52,691
This is amazing.
131
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:54,960
What's happening?
132
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,295
Adam: That's the autobots.
133
00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:58,797
Those robots
are the good guys.
134
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,667
Oh! Watch this. They're about
to kick decepticon butt.
135
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:06,038
Adult adam: But they didn't. Instead, they did this...
136
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,774
They killed one of the good guys.
137
00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:10,208
No.
138
00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:13,979
Actually, they killed all the good guys.
139
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:14,579
No!
140
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:18,850
Even optimus prime was killed in cold blood.
141
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:21,787
And along with it, my innocence.
142
00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:24,956
Do the good guys
always die like this?
143
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,258
They're not dead.
144
00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:28,026
It's probably
a plot twist.
145
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:30,762
They'll come back
and save the day.
146
00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:33,432
Adult adam:
But they didn't.
147
00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:35,834
You ready to go?
No.
148
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,969
Optimus will be back.
149
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,839
I don't think
he's coming back.
150
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,108
Oh, he's coming back...
151
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:47,112
Bigger and better
and not dead.
152
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:48,146
He's dead, dude.
153
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:52,784
Adult adam:
While I was feeling down, barry was trying to get down.
154
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:53,885
'sup, hot lips?
155
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:54,920
You know the rules.
156
00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:57,622
We only talk
through the locker.
157
00:05:57,924 --> 00:05:58,557
'sup, hot lips?
158
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,058
What do you want?
People are looking.
159
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,560
I was wondering
when exactly
160
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:02,494
You were gonna ask me
to the dance.
161
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,796
Yeah, never.
'cause then people
would see us together.
162
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,064
You know,
it kind of sounds like
163
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:07,132
You don't want to be
seen with me in public.
164
00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:09,601
It sounds like that
'cause that's exactly
what I'm saying.
165
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:10,969
(sighs)
aw, come on.
166
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,605
Don't give me those puppy-dog
eyes through the locker.
167
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:16,508
You know I can't say no
to those baby browns.
168
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:17,542
Okay, fine!
169
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,077
Just go stag,
and I'll dance
adjacent to you
170
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:21,680
Without acknowledging
your presence.
171
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:22,647
But, I was gonna bring
my cardboard
172
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,850
So I can break-dance
for you, baby.
173
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,284
I'm sorry.
174
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:28,420
Lainey: Now go away.
175
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:32,057
Adult adam: Erica saw that longing look in lainey's eye
176
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:35,160
And knew there was only one thing to do. Stop it.
177
00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:38,096
Mom, I need you to get
heavily involved
with your son
178
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:38,964
In an inappropriate way.
179
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:40,665
I'm in.
You name it, I'll do it.
180
00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:41,666
It's barry.
181
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:42,501
He's in a serious funk
182
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,603
Because nobody's asked him
to the sadie hawkins dance.
183
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,571
Well,
when you're that delicious,
184
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,939
It can be intimidating.
185
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,307
That's a theory.
186
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:50,575
Anyway,
I think that he's ready
187
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,778
To meet that soul mate
you had picked out for him.
188
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,813
Oh, my god!
It's finally happening!
189
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:59,084
My children are coming to me
to help them find love!
190
00:06:59,086 --> 00:06:59,785
(laughs)
191
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:01,520
I have literally
found him
192
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:04,322
The most perfect,
beautiful girl in the world.
193
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:05,891
Great.
Now, when you're looking...
194
00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:07,526
No, let's just do this
already.
195
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:08,493
Are you sure about this?
196
00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:10,729
I mean,
barry did specifically say
197
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,464
He didn't want me
to set him up.
198
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:12,998
You have to.
199
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,001
This is not me being selfish
or having my own agenda.
200
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:17,436
It's coming
from a place of love,
201
00:07:17,438 --> 00:07:20,138
Because I just
want barry to be happy.
202
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:21,673
(bleep) me sideways.
203
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:25,644
I have raised
some thoughtful children.
204
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,112
Come here.
205
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,249
Stand up straight.
206
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:32,117
There it is.
207
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,019
I mean, who murders
optimus prime?
208
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:37,355
That's like killing superman
or knight rider or lassie.
209
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,559
You've been ranting about
this for two days, kiddo.
210
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:43,161
Come on.
He's just a cartoon robot.
211
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,130
To you.
To me, he's a hero.
212
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,999
If I made that movie,
optimus would live forever,
213
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,469
And he would bring peace
to cybertron!
214
00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:52,137
I don't know
what you're talking about,
215
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:54,039
But sure...
Let's make that movie.
216
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:57,275
We'll right the wrongs
of those hollywood bastards.
217
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:59,845
Well, if we do this,
we do it right.
218
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:03,114
I'm talking top-of-the-line
costumes, set design,
219
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:05,150
Romance,
big-budget stunt work.
220
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,419
I got $75 in my wallet.
221
00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:09,054
Done.
222
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:15,660
What the hell are you doing?
That's my chair!
223
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:18,129
Now it's optimus prime's
command center.
224
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:19,064
I'm making
an awesome movie.
225
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:22,067
For how long?
We're thinking
five, six months.
226
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:24,202
What?
I know.
It's gonna be tough
227
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,403
With the
late-night shooting,
228
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:26,738
The crew taking
over the house,
229
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,274
And the huge water bill.
I got to flood
the basement.
230
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:32,110
Oh, yeah? Well,
use somebody else's chair.
231
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,144
Stop!
232
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:34,379
You don't understand.
233
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,248
Optimus was murdered
in cold blood.
234
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:39,384
The greek exchange student
staying with the applebaum's?
235
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:41,253
No.
That kid's name is niko.
236
00:08:41,255 --> 00:08:44,489
I'm talking about the robot
I like from the cartoon.
237
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:45,624
So?
238
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:46,191
So he's gone,
239
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:49,027
And if it can happen to him,
it can happen to anyone.
240
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,096
Oh.
I see what's happening.
241
00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:52,664
We need to have
the death talk.
242
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,032
Eh, I'm fine.
We don't need to talk.
243
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:58,069
I just think death sucks
and it shouldn't happen,
and I'm gonna undo it.
244
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:01,907
Yeah, I know it's scary,
but we all got to go sometime.
245
00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:03,475
You got
nothing to worry about.
246
00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:05,410
You got your whole life
ahead of you.
247
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:07,178
Really?
Yeah.
248
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:11,316
Now, if you were an old man,
different story.
249
00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:13,151
All right. Good talk.
250
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,319
Adult adam:
But it wasn't a good talk.
251
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:17,422
Now I was worrying about my other hero, pops.
252
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:21,059
Okay, time for my
big battle scene.
253
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,930
Optimo gets run over
and lives.
254
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:27,999
And hit me with the car.
255
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,534
About that,
there were some rewrites.
256
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:34,105
In the new scene,
optimus prime eats
a fiber-rich breakfast
257
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,041
And goes for
a heart-smart walk.
258
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:38,677
Okay, I'm not understanding
my character here.
259
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,478
You told me
I was a badass.
260
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,013
You are.
And after this scene,
261
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:45,951
You're gonna rest up with
some hot tea under an afghan,
262
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:46,451
Like a badass.
263
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:48,887
Feels like you're taking
the teeth out of this thing.
264
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:51,122
Well, I'm the director,
and this is my vision.
265
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,158
Now,
take a calcium supplement
266
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:54,092
And stand on your mark
in the shade.
267
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:57,329
Oh, stop.
Just tap me.
Tap me with the car.
268
00:09:57,331 --> 00:09:59,864
You're old. It would shatter
your whole body.
269
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:00,966
I'll show you old.
270
00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:02,400
Hit me with the car.
No!
271
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:06,404
You get in that car
and you run me
over right now.
272
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,773
Forget it!
You're too difficult
to work with!
273
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:09,407
You're fired!
274
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:12,310
You can't fire me!
I'm the star!
275
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:12,844
I fire you!
276
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,146
You can't fire me!
I brought you
onto this project!
277
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:18,984
Well,
I'm pulling the funding,
'cause I'm very upset...
278
00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:24,055
Even though
I'm not quite clear
what we're arguing about.
279
00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:28,259
And I'm walking like this
because of the costume,
280
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:30,795
Not because I'm old.
281
00:10:32,164 --> 00:10:34,499
Adult adam:
Barry still might not have had a date
282
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:35,400
For the darryl dawkins dance,
283
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:39,004
But thanks to erica's scheme, he was about to get one.
284
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:42,907
Love bug,
I just got off the phone.
285
00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:44,442
What's the best news
you could think of?
286
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:46,578
I'm gonna be on
a wheaties box
with pete rose.
287
00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:48,647
Close.
I found a wonderful girl,
288
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:51,282
And she wants to ask you
to the sadie hawkins dance.
289
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:53,551
I honestly have no idea
what you're talking about.
290
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:55,854
She means
"darryl dawkins."
291
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:56,488
Oh!
292
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,957
Yeah, forget it.
I hate that stupid dance.
293
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,725
Barry,
you should listen to her.
294
00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:02,661
Mom's the best matchmaker
in town, okay?
295
00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:05,230
She set me up with
a ton of great people.
296
00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:07,565
Really? Who?
You know, like, uh...
297
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:08,633
(muffled)
mondragor mcalister.
298
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:11,336
Mondragor mcalister?
Who's that?
299
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:14,406
Well, he's...
(mumbling)
300
00:11:14,408 --> 00:11:16,241
Stop talking
into your soda can!
301
00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:17,308
(mumbling)
302
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:18,543
Barry, trust your mother.
303
00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:20,578
I found
the girl of your dreams.
304
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,213
She's smart, she's pretty,
305
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:24,449
And she's waiting
in the kitchen.
306
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:25,350
What is she doing?
307
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,952
I already met
the girl of my dreams,
lainey.
308
00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:29,220
She said she might
dance adjacent to me.
309
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,122
Dude, if you knew
what "adjacent" meant,
310
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,323
You would not be okay
with that.
311
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,893
(singsong voice)
here she is.
312
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,394
This is evelyn silver.
313
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:39,330
I know her mother
from my scrapbooking circle.
314
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:42,267
I scrapbook, too, but I'm
nothing compared to bevy.
315
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:43,268
She's the one
who bought me
316
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,370
My first pair
of scalloping scissors.
317
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,305
Your mom
is my arts-and-crafts guru.
318
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:48,973
I mean,
I would have never thought
319
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:51,643
To cut my pictures
into fun shapes,
320
00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:53,178
Like hearts and stars.
321
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:54,312
Squares are for squares.
322
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:57,916
(laughs)
even weirder than barry dating erica's best friend
323
00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:00,218
Was barry dating our mother.
324
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:00,952
Wait, wait.
I know you.
325
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:03,855
You're the girl at school
who always argues
with the teachers.
326
00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:06,024
Only when they're wrong.
Which is a lot.
327
00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:06,691
Oh!
(gasps)
328
00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:08,893
Oh, dear god.
I like your sweater.
329
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:11,129
I find it oddly comforting.
Thank you.
330
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:14,466
You got some schmutz
on the side of...
331
00:12:14,468 --> 00:12:15,834
This is so, so creepy.
332
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,869
Listen,
your mom was thinking
333
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,138
Maybe we could
go to the dance together.
334
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,740
Oh,
I don't know what...
335
00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:23,742
So you already have
a date?
336
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:25,543
Not really.
337
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:26,111
Well, you do now.
338
00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:28,079
I'm wearing pink,
so keep that in mind
339
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,547
When you're buying
my corsage.
340
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:30,882
No carnations.
Don't cheap out.
341
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:33,752
Bevy! Where are
my comfortable loafers?
342
00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:35,854
Did you check
by the front door?
343
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:36,354
Who are you?
344
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:38,823
I'm evy.
You just called for me.
345
00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:40,024
No, I said "bevy."
346
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:41,693
They're by
the front door.
347
00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:43,628
Well. Sorry.
348
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,463
And thank you.
349
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,766
Is that your hubby?
Yeah.
350
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:50,568
What a catch.
(laughs)
351
00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:52,670
Oh, dear god.
352
00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:57,475
What are you doing?
353
00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,744
Signing up
for skydiving lessons.
354
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:02,347
I'll show him who's old.
355
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:03,414
Okay.
356
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,583
I just got into a fight
with adam.
357
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:08,153
You just got into a fight
with adam? Over what?
358
00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:10,955
He wouldn't run me over
with the car!
359
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:12,423
Okay.
360
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:13,725
I mean, all of a sudden,
361
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:17,061
He's treating me like
some fragile old fogey.
362
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:19,430
This might partially be
my fault.
363
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:23,635
I may have said something
along the lines of
"old people die,"
364
00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:26,104
And he may have
jumped to conclusions.
365
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:26,971
What conclusions?
366
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,275
You know, if you're
at the deli counter of life
367
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:31,442
And you've got
your ticket,
368
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:34,579
You're gonna get
your sandwich sooner
than other people will.
369
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:37,415
What is this horrible deli?
I hate this deli.
370
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:38,716
We all got to eat there
sometime.
371
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:40,585
Well, I'm just gonna have
a pickle.
372
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:41,820
Can't just have a pickle.
373
00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:43,488
I can, and I will.
374
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,889
You can't
just have a pickle.
375
00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:47,325
I'm in better shape
than you.
376
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,726
Check out these guns!
377
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,094
Why are you yelling at me?
378
00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:51,029
'cause it's your fault!
379
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,997
You're the old guy
wearing the costume
380
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,999
Of the dead robot
he loves.
381
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:57,001
You're right.
The poor kid.
382
00:13:57,003 --> 00:14:00,405
He's probably scared
of losing his two
greatest heroes.
383
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:04,876
I'm sure there's
a couple of other heroes
on that list...
384
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:07,312
Like me, for example.
385
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:10,081
Okay.
386
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:12,417
Evelyn silver?
387
00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:14,919
How could you go to the dance
with evelyn silver?
388
00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:16,321
'cause she asked me!
389
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:17,589
Well,
she kind of told me.
390
00:14:17,591 --> 00:14:20,158
She's pushy in a way
that feels familiar
and safe.
391
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,427
Well, now we're
never not going to
the dance together.
392
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,529
But we never were
going to the dance together.
393
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:28,600
But now we're really
never not going to the
dance together.
394
00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:29,934
Okay,
I am totally lost here.
395
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:32,303
I used to not want
to be seen with you
in public,
396
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:34,639
But now I don't want
to be seen with you
in private, either.
397
00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,040
But if we were in private,
how could anyone see us?
398
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,977
They wouldn't not see us,
but now they'll never
not see us!
399
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:41,079
I think my brain
is about to explode!
400
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:44,582
See if you understand this.
I'm dumping you.
401
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,218
We were together?
402
00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:49,187
We were together!
403
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:51,422
Wait! Come back!
404
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:54,392
We were together.
405
00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:00,265
Adult adam:
Pops gave me some time
406
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,333
To cool down from our big blowup.
407
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,369
Unfortunately, I was hotter than ever.
408
00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:07,071
Hey, kiddo.
(knocks on door)
409
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,039
Can we talk?
410
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,307
Busy.
I'm making a new movie.
411
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:13,878
Stop-motion animation.
You know what's good
about that?
412
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,613
No actors.
413
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:18,516
Well, you look like crap.
Have you slept?
414
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:22,453
No, I haven't slept.
I'm making
a masterpiece here.
415
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:24,622
Okay, look.
416
00:15:29,194 --> 00:15:33,898
I know your dad
talked to you about
the deli of life,
417
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:35,266
But you need to know,
418
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,902
I'm not eating a sandwich
just yet.
419
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:40,438
Maybe it's because
I'm super-tired,
420
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,673
But you're making
no sense.
421
00:15:41,675 --> 00:15:45,643
Look,
everyone has their time.
422
00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:47,745
But I'm here,
I'm awesome,
423
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:52,283
And I'm not going anywhere
anytime soon, kiddo.
424
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,786
Really?
Really.
425
00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:57,855
Want to know my secret?
426
00:15:57,857 --> 00:16:02,226
Hanging out
with my best friend
keeps me young.
427
00:16:03,729 --> 00:16:04,696
Now...
428
00:16:04,698 --> 00:16:09,367
What do you say you run
your grandpa over with a car?
429
00:16:09,835 --> 00:16:11,703
I'd love to.
430
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:17,275
Hey. Aren't you supposed
to be getting ready
for the dance?
431
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:18,643
What's the point?
432
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,378
I found love,
and I lost it.
433
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,113
Now I'm never gonna
talk through a locker
434
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,115
With someone I really
care about again.
435
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,917
Well,
evy seems creepily into you.
436
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:29,520
But lainey was cool
and made me feel alive,
437
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:33,558
And I pretty much had
a crush on her
for my entire life.
438
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:37,295
But, like you said,
she doesn't like me.
439
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:39,097
Look,
I know my best friend.
440
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:42,433
Lainey likes you.
She just treats you
like an annoying,
441
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:44,068
Twerpy loser
because you let her.
442
00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:46,971
Doesn't matter now.
I ruined everything.
443
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:49,540
(sighs)
no, I did.
444
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,943
Mom didn't just randomly
set you up on a date.
445
00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:53,745
I may have
put her up to it
446
00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:56,881
Because I didn't want you
frenching on my best friend.
447
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:57,315
What?
448
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,884
I know it was wrong,
but now...
449
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:02,653
I can't believe
I'm saying this...
450
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:05,790
You should be at the dance
with her.
451
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,091
Ew.
452
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:13,731
¶ heaven isn't too far away
453
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:19,570
¶ closer to it every day
454
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:20,805
Lainey.
We need to talk.
455
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:23,274
Uh, I'm sorry.
I don't know you.
456
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:24,575
Just hear me out!
457
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,677
No! Leave me alone!
458
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,212
Lainey!
459
00:17:28,347 --> 00:17:29,380
Lainey!
460
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,882
¶ how I love the way you move
461
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:33,684
¶ and the sparkle in your eyes
462
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,019
Lainey, wait!
463
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:35,920
Wait! Wait.
464
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:40,358
Okay, I know
I'm irritating
and I sweat a lot
465
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:43,127
And my rap flow
is too ahead of its time,
466
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:46,364
So I get why you don't want
to be seen with me.
467
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:48,900
But I just need to know
one thing...
468
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:51,536
Do you like me?
469
00:17:52,471 --> 00:17:53,771
I do.
Please don't tell anyone.
470
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,706
I won't! But it's
come to my attention
471
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:59,210
You only treat me this way
because I put up with it.
472
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,112
But I'm here
to tell you...
473
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:03,247
I want to put up with it.
474
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,016
Let me stand
in the shadows.
475
00:18:05,018 --> 00:18:08,119
Let me only talk to you
through your locker vent.
476
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:11,422
Let me be
your secret shame.
477
00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:13,791
God, you're annoying.
478
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:14,592
I know.
479
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,461
Come on. Let's dance.
480
00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:18,729
We can still hear the music
out here.
481
00:18:20,132 --> 00:18:21,165
No.
482
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:22,233
Let's go inside.
483
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:23,901
Then everyone will see us.
484
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:25,670
That's the point, dummy.
485
00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:35,847
¶ heaven isn't too far away
486
00:18:35,849 --> 00:18:40,852
¶ closer to it every day
487
00:18:40,854 --> 00:18:41,486
¶ ah, ah
488
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:47,391
¶ no matter what your friends might say
489
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:51,896
¶ we'll find our way
490
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:53,164
¶ yeah
491
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,133
(guitar solo)
492
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:58,069
Adult adam:
Yep, barry goldberg was on top of the world,
493
00:18:58,071 --> 00:18:59,770
And no one could ruin that...
494
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:02,106
Not even beverly goldberg.
495
00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:03,274
What the hell
is this?
496
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,609
I set barry up
with his soul mate,
497
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:05,877
And he's not even
with her
498
00:19:05,879 --> 00:19:07,378
When I show up
completely unannounced?
499
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,147
Yeah, about that.
Why are you here?
500
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,015
I came to see
the lovebirds,
501
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:13,284
But those are
the wrong lovebirds!
502
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:14,986
Yeah, but maybe not.
503
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:18,189
¶ now the lights are going out
504
00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:19,323
He does look happy.
505
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:22,026
He really does.
Wait.
What happened to evy?
506
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:22,927
Oh, I took care of that.
507
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:26,697
Turns out matchmaking
runs in the family.
508
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:29,200
Damn it.
This is my only good tie.
509
00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:29,967
Oh, honey, that's okay.
510
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:33,838
Don't touch it.
Rub it out with club soda.
Be good as new.
511
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,373
¶ I don't know what to do ¶
512
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:37,708
Adult adam:
That's the thing about growing up...
513
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:42,480
There's those perfect moments where life just surprises you.
514
00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:46,450
For barry, that moment was now.
515
00:19:47,986 --> 00:19:49,020
And for me, I felt that moment
516
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:53,057
Every time I was with my grandfather.
(tires screech)
517
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:58,029
That's the end of you, optimus.
518
00:20:00,098 --> 00:20:02,400
I literally cannot die!
519
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:04,802
Adult adam:
He was more than my hero.
520
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:06,003
He was my best friend.
521
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:08,306
So, what'd you think,
kiddo?
522
00:20:08,807 --> 00:20:10,708
I love it.
523
00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:19,951
(bell dings)
524
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:23,955
Adam: Optimus! No!
525
00:20:23,957 --> 00:20:24,455
(sobs)
526
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:30,127
We gather here today to witness the burial of optimus prime.
527
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:32,630
Later that night...
528
00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:36,367
There's no optimus! He's gone!
529
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:42,073
(dance music playing)
530
00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:53,918
Take the wave from me.
What? No.
I don't want the wave.
531
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,687
Come on! Take it!
Stop it!
I don't want it!
532
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:57,154
No wave.
533
00:20:57,156 --> 00:20:58,689
What the hell?
I've been waiting
534
00:20:58,691 --> 00:20:59,624
In the car 10 minutes.
535
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:02,693
Just watching barry.
He's quite the dancer.
536
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:03,995
Looks like a moron
to me.
537
00:21:03,997 --> 00:21:05,329
You can say that
again.
538
00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:06,397
Evy,
I'm gonna go sit
539
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:08,599
In the comfortable chairs
over there.
540
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,369
Sitting?
That sounds good.
541
00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:16,941
Okay, yeah, I see it now.
542
00:21:17,909 --> 00:21:20,511
(dance music playing)
47457
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof