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1
00:00:02,235 --> 00:00:04,203
Adult adam: Growing up, my mom was many things,
2
00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:06,338
But cool was definitely not one of them.
3
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,307
She would seriously leave the house like that.
4
00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:12,077
You're not seriously
gonna leave the house
like that, are you?
5
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:13,979
Of course not.
6
00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:17,783
(clicks tongue)
7
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:22,421
She was an absolute stickler for her uncool rules...
8
00:00:24,157 --> 00:00:26,158
Curfew is 11:00.
9
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:26,625
It's 11:04.
10
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,627
Adult adam:
Even the way she worried about us was uncool.
11
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:30,429
Do you know what could
happen in four minutes?
12
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:33,132
You could drown, choke,
eat poison berries.
13
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,166
And if any
of that happens,
14
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,567
Then I have failed
as a mother.
15
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,403
Adult adam: But the most uncool thing of all
16
00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:39,772
Was how much our mom loved us.
17
00:00:39,774 --> 00:00:41,907
I made these people, me.
18
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:44,643
I made them with my body.
(chuckles)
19
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,278
Oh!
There's this one now.
20
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,313
Hey, erica,
it's your mom.
21
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:50,015
Erica, it's your mother!
22
00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:52,351
Hi, erica
and erica's friends!
23
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:54,920
Oh, my god.
Mom, what are you wearing?
24
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:55,587
Isn't this adorable?
25
00:00:55,589 --> 00:01:00,959
That kiosk uses
technology to put
memories on a t-shirt.
26
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:01,593
It's totally cool.
27
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:05,497
Oh, jill, look.
There's your mom, too.
Louise!
28
00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:08,967
Adult adam:
Louise rubin, the cool mom.
29
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:11,503
There's always one, hip, youthful,
30
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:12,404
And wouldn't be caught dead
31
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,406
In a shirt with her kids' faces on it.
32
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:18,177
Yep, she was the anti-beverly.
33
00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:20,546
Oh, look what
you've got on.
34
00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,081
(chuckles) oh.
35
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:23,615
What are the chances,
huh?
36
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:25,818
Are you here
to celebrate choctoberfest
37
00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:27,686
At the fudge emporium,
too?
38
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,254
Nope. Just hanging
with the girls.
39
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:33,225
Which girls?
These girls.
We just did our nails.
40
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:33,659
Oh...
41
00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:36,228
So, you drove them here
and had to wait in the car
42
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:38,263
While they
enjoyed themselves, huh?
43
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:39,932
Mom, she's hanging
with us, okay?
44
00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:41,333
We're here to get
the new madonna album.
45
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:44,536
Don't you just love...
Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
46
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,572
When you said
you were going to the mall
47
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,574
With your friend louise,
I thought that meant
48
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,809
A girl from your class,
not mrs. Rubin.
49
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:52,478
Ugh, I don't want them
to call me that.
50
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,646
It makes me feel
like such a mom, you know?
51
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,415
Oh, psst. Yeah.
52
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:59,184
That's why I like
erica's friends to
call me bev.
53
00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:01,520
Sounds good, bev.
Don't like it.
Go back.
54
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:04,022
Okay, this was fun.
See you at dinner?
55
00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:06,825
Yep. Got to fix
some din-din.
56
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:08,360
Hmm.
(chuckles)
57
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:09,928
Chicken's not
gonna pot-pie itself,
58
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:12,030
Know what I'm sayin'?
(chuckles)
59
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:12,965
Cool.
Nice catching up, bev.
60
00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:16,068
Okay, see you
on the flip-flop!
(chuckles)
61
00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:16,935
The nerve
of that woman,
62
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:19,371
Cold chillin'
with my daughter
at the mall.
63
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:22,174
Erica should be
cold chillin' with me,
not her!
64
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:23,542
What are you
talking about?
65
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:26,145
You cold chill
with erica all the time.
66
00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:26,678
No.
67
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,380
I only feed her soup
when she's sick
68
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:31,850
And give her
boric-acid drops when
she's got pinkeye.
69
00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:34,686
I'm in the trenches doing
the important, boring stuff.
70
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:35,954
But when it comes time
for fun,
71
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:38,190
Well, she heads
straight to louise rubin.
72
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:41,493
Wait. We're talking
about louise rubin here?
73
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,928
Oh, she's the coolest.
74
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:43,662
What?
Yeah!
75
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,265
She'll cut
the top off her shirt
76
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:47,933
Just to show
her shoulder.
77
00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:48,967
Well, I can do that.
78
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:52,604
See? I'm just as cool
as the next mom.
79
00:02:53,439 --> 00:02:54,273
What are you doing?
80
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:57,409
I'm trying
to expose my shoulder!
81
00:02:57,944 --> 00:03:00,212
Poop. I just
stretched it out.
82
00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:02,314
Stop stretching
your sweater.
83
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:03,582
Okay.
84
00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:03,949
Stop!
85
00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:05,918
Well, I got to stretch
my sweater out
86
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,519
So I can
show my shoulder.
87
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,021
(mumbling)
why won't you stop?
88
00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:13,192
I don't know
why you can't stop,
but you need to stop!
89
00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:14,393
¶ I'm twisted up inside
90
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:19,298
¶ but nonetheless I feel the need to say
91
00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:21,633
¶ I don't know the future
92
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:25,204
¶ but the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶
93
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:27,506
Adult adam:
It was October 22, 1980-something,
94
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:31,443
And I was spending the night with my apple ii plus.
95
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:33,679
It had a whopping 16k of ram,
96
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:37,115
Dot matrix printer, 32-bit color graphics,
97
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,751
And badass, thrill-a-minute video games
98
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,887
Like "oregon trail."
99
00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:44,156
(beeping)
100
00:03:44,158 --> 00:03:44,923
Balls!
(door opens)
101
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,358
(door closes)
while I spent time with my computer,
102
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,961
Barry was hanging with his new crew of dudes.
103
00:03:48,963 --> 00:03:51,530
They called themselves the "jenkintown posse."
104
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,198
Jtp!
All: Jtp!
105
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,266
...Jtp for short.
106
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:57,002
They were older, cooler, and lived on the edge.
107
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:59,071
There was jeff schwartz, the madman...
108
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:01,139
Potato chips on a sandwich?
I'm crazy!
109
00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:03,242
(laughing)
andy cogan, the ladies' man
110
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:05,244
Who never let his height get in the way.
111
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:08,080
(sighs) can a brother
get a steppin' stool?
112
00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:08,914
...And naked rob,
113
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,349
One of those dudes who loved getting nude.
114
00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:12,584
This tank top's
chafing me.
I got to take it off.
115
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,152
Don't! Come on.
Adam: Yo.
116
00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:16,154
What you wild cats
up to tonight?
117
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:20,859
Whatever it is,
you know it'll involve
some ladies! Aah!
118
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:21,793
How many ladies?
119
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,895
So many
it's gonna be crazy!
120
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,497
(all laughing)
oh, man. How crazy?
121
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:27,866
So crazy someone
may get in-jured!
122
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,334
Barry: Yo, baby!
It's on, baby!
Whoo! Whoo-whoo-whoo!
123
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:32,704
Details! Name some of
the crazy stuff
you guys did!
124
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,306
You know how our school's
always trying
125
00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:36,041
To get their hands
on germantown high mascot?
126
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:38,677
You stole
frankie the falcon?
127
00:04:39,245 --> 00:04:40,379
Well,
I mean, not yet.
128
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:44,449
But once we do it,
we'll be kings
of the school.
129
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,084
Jtp!
Jtp!
130
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,886
All: Jtp!
131
00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:48,754
Dude...
132
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:52,958
You can't say "jtp"
unless you're in the jtp.
133
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,993
Adult adam:
A man could only dream.
134
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,428
Jtp out!
135
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:59,831
To the jtp, I was just a nerd obsessed with computers.
136
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:03,001
That all changed the day
porky's ii was sold out
137
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,837
And they were forced to see wargames,
138
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:06,872
A movie about a kid who hacks his way
139
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:10,442
To better grades and almost blows up the world.
140
00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:11,677
(computer reading)
141
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:16,014
Oh. Suddenly, they all realized that computer were awesome!
142
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:20,552
Dude! I just saw
the best movie ever!
143
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:21,920
Wargames.
144
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,255
All this time,
I thought computers
145
00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:25,724
Were for lazy-eyed losers
like you,
146
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,626
But they're
actually badass.
147
00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:28,593
Thank you?
148
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:29,528
Can you do
any of that stuff?
149
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,364
I can make you
a really sweet banner.
I have print shop.
150
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:34,499
Can you start a global
thermonuclear war
on this thing?
151
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,836
Probably.
Don't do it!
There is no winner.
152
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:38,537
What else?
153
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:40,339
But what about
hacking the school?
154
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:41,406
Can you
change my grades?
155
00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:45,677
Well, I would if
I was in the jtp.
156
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,446
Uh, it'll take some
convincing 'cause the guys
157
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:51,216
All think you suck,
but, I'll make it happen.
158
00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:52,751
Welcome
to the jenkintown posse.
159
00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,786
While I was one step closer to coolness,
160
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:59,591
My mom was about to take 50 steps back.
Stop, stop.
161
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:03,295
'sup, ladies?
162
00:06:03,297 --> 00:06:05,664
¶ when it feels like the world is on your shoulders ¶
163
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,499
Why are you dressed
like a giant doily?
164
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:11,036
Just expressing myself
like our gal madonna.
165
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,705
Mom, that's el debarge.
He's a dude.
166
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,240
And since when do you
like madonna, anyway?
167
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:19,411
Oh, since I heard
her rockin' song about
staying a virgin.
168
00:06:19,413 --> 00:06:21,012
It's very cool to wait.
169
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,347
Is that my
sixth-grade tutu?
170
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:25,384
¶ feel the beat of the rhythm
mom, why, what are you
doing with your hips?
171
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:26,852
¶ dance until the morning light
stop it with your hips.
172
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:29,354
¶ forget about the worries on your mind
why are you moving
173
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:30,088
Your hips like that?
174
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,023
¶ you can leave them all behind ¶
mom? Okay.
175
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:32,858
No, mom, stop.
(clicks)
176
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:35,961
Well, I just want to
hang out with my girls,
right?
177
00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:37,195
Um, what do
you say we, uh,
178
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:41,533
Read some teen magazines
and gossip about boys?
179
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:42,534
I'll go first.
180
00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,403
I like murray.
You go, lainey.
181
00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:47,672
Uh, you smudged
your beauty mark
all over your upper lip.
182
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:50,876
Okay, you need to go.
Come on.
183
00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:52,043
What?
184
00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:55,347
You let
louise rubin hang out.
Why not the bevernator?
185
00:06:55,349 --> 00:06:55,847
I'm fun, too!
186
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,916
Of course you are,
just not hang-out fun.
187
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,918
More like
a "I have a freckle
and I need you
188
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,386
"to tell me if it's worth
being looked at
189
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:02,554
"by a dermatologist,"
kind of fun.
190
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:05,424
Every freckle is
worth being looked at
by a dermatologist.
191
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:07,859
Why don't you schedule
an appointment
for next weekend?
192
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,428
We can hang-out then,
okay?
193
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:10,829
(sighs)
yeah.
194
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,030
Adult adam:
Madonna was a bust,
195
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:15,233
So my mom went to plan b, dermatology.
196
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:17,702
No, I can't wait six weeks
to see dr. Krogen!
197
00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:20,238
He's the last chance I have
to bond with my daughter.
198
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,208
Please don't take this
away from me!
I'm begging you!
199
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:26,611
Adult adam:
This sad display made the impossible happen,
200
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:27,379
My dad got off his ass.
201
00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:30,949
Good news,
you're gonna hang with
your mom tomorrow.
202
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,584
(scoffs)
no freaking way.
203
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,920
(chuckles)
oh, yes freaking way.
204
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,788
Or else all the things
I don't care about,
205
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,291
I'm gonna start having
strong opinions on,
206
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:42,093
Like your allowance,
gone!
207
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:42,994
No!
208
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,830
Curfew? 6:00 p.M.
209
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,398
What?
Skirt length?
210
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,999
No skirts!
What?
211
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,669
Just pants with pleats.
212
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:51,570
Not the pleats.
213
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,705
Oh-ho.
Pleats a plenty.
214
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,574
Your mom
is upstairs hurting,
215
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:58,310
And I can't bear
to watch it.
216
00:07:58,377 --> 00:08:00,645
So what's it gonna be?
217
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,981
Adult adam:
As my sister was facing a night with my mom,
218
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:07,252
I was facing the reality of what hacking was in the '80s...
219
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:08,620
(beeping)
220
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:09,855
...Impossible.
221
00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,556
(static crackling)
whoa!
222
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,492
This phone is sick
or something.
223
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:16,461
Hang up!
I'm trying to hack!
224
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:17,562
This is a nightmare.
225
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,431
I mean, I'm starting
to think a major
motion picture
226
00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:23,502
Has lied to me about
the capabilities of
home computers.
227
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:25,270
Okay, relax.
How can I help?
228
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:28,306
You can't!
I'll never be
in the jtp!
229
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,976
Come on, adam.
You're a great kid.
230
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:33,011
Those guys
will learn to love you
231
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,713
If you just be yourself.
232
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,548
Wait. Learning.
233
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,283
That's it!
You're a genius!
Really?
234
00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:41,653
I just said some pat things
to make you feel better,
but I'll take it.
235
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,755
(beeping)
if barry and his friends wanted me to hack,
236
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:48,860
That was exactly what I'd do, hack their brains.
237
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,529
Access granted.
We're in.
238
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:52,163
Yes!
Sweet!
Awesome!
239
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:53,198
Okay, in order for me
to hack your grades,
240
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,868
I'll need to go in
and input all the data
that'll be on your test.
241
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,703
Wait, why would you
have to do that if...
242
00:08:58,705 --> 00:08:59,571
No time to argue!
243
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,206
Jeff schwartz,
which significant
244
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,875
Historical event
occurred in October, 1929?
245
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,344
Um...
The stock market crashed.
246
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:08,179
Naked rob, verify.
247
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:09,014
He's right. He's right.
248
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:11,316
Uh, it ended the
jazz age and began
the great depression.
249
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:12,117
(keyboard clacking)
250
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,753
Andy cogan,
what did president roosevelt
251
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,187
Call his program
to jump-start the economy?
252
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,723
The new deal,
enacted in 1933.
253
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,693
Okay, open your books
to chapter 2.
254
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,461
Go, go, go!
255
00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:25,463
Let's hack.
256
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:32,237
No, naked rob's right.
It was plessy v. Ferguson.
257
00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:36,341
So awesome we didn't
have to learn this crap
for the test.
258
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:36,942
Yeah.
Yeah.
259
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:40,745
Adult adam:
They weren't a smart crew, but now they were my crew.
260
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:44,482
Wow. That is a cauldron
of cheese.
261
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,651
I read about it
in tiger beat.
262
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:50,221
They say
"fondue equals fun-due!"
263
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,590
(chuckles)
do they?
264
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,558
So, let's go wild,
huh?
265
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:56,294
Uh, oh! (gagging)
266
00:09:57,463 --> 00:09:59,664
Hot, hot, hot! Hot!
(gasping)
267
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,299
(snaps fingers)
excuse me?
268
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,702
I'd like to report
some unsafe cheese.
269
00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:07,539
What if someone tried
to feed that to an
infant or a dog?
270
00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:10,609
Mom, look who it is!
What a coincidence!
271
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:14,613
Erica, mrs. Goldberg,
what are you guys
doing here?
272
00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:15,447
Beverly: Just hangin',
273
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:16,481
Not in like
a mother-daughter way,
274
00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:19,851
But more of like
in a girlfriends way.
Isn't that cool?
275
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,219
Lainey: (chuckles)
totally.
276
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:23,221
Speaking of cool,
we're gonna go volunteer
277
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:25,724
At the soup kitchen
for extra credit.
278
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:26,958
Wait a minute, erica.
279
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,259
Don't you need
some extra credit?
280
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:32,497
Thanks for looking out,
jill. You're such
a good friend.
281
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,700
Wow. Extra credit.
(chuckles)
282
00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:37,602
You should
definitely do that.
283
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:41,640
Say, what's the name
of this soup kitchen?
284
00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:44,709
Um...
285
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:49,280
Helping hands, uh...
Feeding needy men's
286
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:53,618
And a lady
who is also hungry.
287
00:10:53,886 --> 00:10:55,620
We should go.
Yeah.
288
00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:57,288
You tried to ditch me?
289
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,790
My own daughter?
Yes!
290
00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:01,292
The only reason I'm here
is because dad forced me.
291
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,560
Well, I'll tell you what,
buttercup,
292
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,629
As of now,
I'm ditching you.
293
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:05,930
What?
You can't ditch me.
294
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:08,033
Oh, you've been ditched.
Uh, no.
295
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:10,235
I'm the ditcher here,
not you.
296
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,003
Well,
the ditch got switched.
297
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,805
I will not be ditched.
298
00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:15,640
The ditch is done.
299
00:11:20,479 --> 00:11:22,480
Adult adam: The moment had finally come.
300
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,549
The jtp had accepted me into their fold.
301
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:27,218
It was time to see how the other half lived.
302
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:30,822
Aah! Brain freeze!
We're insane!
303
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,390
(screams)
304
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,091
(sighs)
yeah.
305
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:37,162
Turns out, the other half lived like a bunch of idiots.
306
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:39,931
Ow! Dude, that hurt so bad.
That was awesome.
307
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:40,832
(chuckles) yeah?
Yeah.
308
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:43,001
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Uh, no, man!
309
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,703
Your feet and hands
should be in sync.
310
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:49,207
Go! Go!
Naked rob
doing what he do!
311
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,075
Yeah!
312
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:52,377
(indistinct conversation)
313
00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:56,948
Oh, my god.
(indistinct shouting)
314
00:11:57,516 --> 00:11:59,551
(indistinct conversations)
315
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:01,820
Guys, I just found
a toaster in the
trash can.
316
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:04,189
Sweet! Let me
throw it up in the air!
317
00:12:07,626 --> 00:12:08,126
All: Oh!
318
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:10,462
Yes!
It's more broken now!
319
00:12:10,464 --> 00:12:11,763
Man: Madman schwartz
strikes again!
320
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:15,100
Adult adam:
The guys promised me girls and stolen mascots,
321
00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:18,470
But all I got was six percent dumber.
322
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:20,138
Hey, dad.
Bevy?
323
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:23,908
I thought you'd be
elbow deep in some
hot cheese by now.
324
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:28,680
Erica cannot even
cold chill with me
for a single night.
325
00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:33,485
Be honest with me,
am I the lamest person
on the planet?
326
00:12:33,487 --> 00:12:35,019
Uh...
327
00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:36,888
Let's get you a drink.
328
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,423
Ray.
329
00:12:40,459 --> 00:12:41,793
Relax, bevy.
330
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,529
You don't need to be cool.
That's what you got me for.
331
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:49,200
But I want to be.
Teach me to be cool,
daddy?
332
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:53,204
No can do.
You either got it,
or you don't.
333
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:53,671
'sup, baby?
334
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:57,242
But, hey, that doesn't
mean that you can't
have a good time.
335
00:12:57,244 --> 00:13:00,245
Well, I've been trying to
have a good time all day,
336
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:02,847
Which is why
I ate all the cheese...
337
00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:04,916
Which is sitting
like a rock, by the way.
338
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:08,520
Well, that's your problem,
honey, you try too hard.
339
00:13:08,522 --> 00:13:11,956
You want fun?
Well, buckle up,
old man.
340
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,424
(chuckles)
341
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:14,125
Ooh.
342
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:17,529
Adult adam:
Pops was right, it was time for beverly goldberg
343
00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:19,931
To care less and drink more.
344
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:20,331
(sighs)
345
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,801
(spits)
...Or just stick to daiquiris.
346
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,869
That was fun.
347
00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:28,006
Dude!
You're our hero!
348
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,207
What? Why?
349
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:30,008
Because
the hacking worked!
350
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,143
We just found out
we got b's on our
history test.
351
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,778
It's awesome!
(all laughing)
352
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:36,247
We got a bio test
on Monday.
Let's get hacking.
353
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:40,151
I'd love to help,
but this game doesn't
have a saving function.
354
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,554
If I quit now,
I'd lose my place.
355
00:13:42,556 --> 00:13:44,255
Then lose
your stupid place.
356
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:45,990
(beeping)
357
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:47,158
Oh, my god!
358
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,893
How clueless
can you guys be?
359
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:51,429
Shut up and hack
for your posse!
360
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,730
Hacking isn't real.
361
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:54,132
What? Then how
did we get b's?
362
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:56,935
'cause I actually tricked
you boneheads into studying.
363
00:13:56,937 --> 00:14:00,305
Whoa. You taught us?
That's so messed up, dude.
364
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,640
Yeah, we trusted you
and you lied to us
365
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,409
Like senator mccarthy
lied to congress
366
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,811
About the threat
of communism in 1953?
367
00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,179
And, oh, my god,
why do I know this?
368
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,982
We were right
about you, man.
You're just a nerd.
369
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,818
I'm a nerd?
Well, what about you putzes?
370
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:17,455
All you guys do
is hang around
in a parking lot
371
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:18,723
Hiding from girls.
372
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:20,959
I mean, the craziest thing
that happened
373
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,894
Was jeff schwartz
ate a hoagie!
374
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:26,664
In 20 seconds!
Like a madman!
375
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:29,968
He ate dinner, barry.
He ate dinner!
376
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,135
You take that back!
377
00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:35,106
That's it.
We're kicking you both
out of the jtp forever.
378
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:35,840
What? Why me?
379
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,141
Uh, because
he's your brother
380
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:38,409
And he just
shined a light on us
381
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,777
That makes us
question everything!
382
00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:42,113
You can't kick me out.
I'm the founding member.
383
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:45,383
Yeah, and now you're banned,
like how the volstead act
384
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,886
Banned alcohol
from the country in 1919.
385
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,054
It's 1920, bro.
Good catch, bro.
386
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,823
Jtp out.
387
00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:55,093
Thanks a lot!
388
00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:57,295
Adult adam: While barry went to bed angry at me,
389
00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,264
My sister was wide awake and about to learn
390
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:02,867
What it felt like to be a worried, uncool mother.
391
00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:04,502
Where have you been?
392
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:05,503
I've been worried sick
about you!
393
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,372
Do you have any idea
what time it is?
394
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:10,008
Yes.
It's time to boogie.
395
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:14,379
Okay, honey,
you've done enough
bogeying for one night.
396
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:16,581
Oh, my god.
She's drunk.
397
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,316
You are
such a bad influence.
398
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:20,752
Come on.
Be cool about this.
(chuckles)
399
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,587
It is not my job
to be cool.
400
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,889
You are not hanging out
with her again. Understood?
401
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:27,859
Wait, this is important.
This is important.
402
00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:29,060
What?
403
00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:31,763
(hip itched voice)
I love you, too,
mommy.
404
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,798
Okay, you can handle it
from here.
405
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:34,499
I got a meter running.
406
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,734
Woof.
Okay, she is
a train wreck.
407
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,136
Please do not leave me
alone with her.
408
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,004
Your mother's taken care
of you your whole life.
409
00:15:40,006 --> 00:15:43,675
The least you can do
is take care of her
for one night.
410
00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:46,544
Beverly: Yeah!
And you know what else?
411
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:48,613
Whoo-whoo.
412
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,518
(snoring)
413
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:58,056
Mom, I want waffles.
414
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,625
Mom, waffles.
415
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:01,359
Mom, waffles.
416
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:04,762
Mom, waffles,
mom, waffles,
mom, waffles.
417
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,564
(softly) hey, get away!
418
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:07,598
I just got her down.
419
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,935
Adam: I got you covered
in here, big guy!
420
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:12,937
Eric: "I am sor?"
421
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,539
It's supposed to
say "sorry."
422
00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:19,410
I ran out of ink,
and even this took me
an hour to print.
423
00:16:19,678 --> 00:16:20,345
I made waffles.
424
00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:24,182
Your apology's not accepted!
You made me lose my crew!
425
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:26,384
Okay, so maybe
we weren't the coolest,
426
00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,886
And madman jeff schwartz
isn't that crazy,
427
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:32,123
And naked rob's
got real problems, but...
428
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,358
(sighs)
I don't know.
429
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,593
I've never had
close friends before.
430
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,762
Then you just got
to make it up to them.
How?
431
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:42,133
We do the one thing
the jtp never had
the guts to do...
432
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,235
Steal
the germantown mascot.
433
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,804
¶ never surrender
434
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:48,906
(beeping)
435
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,010
(keyboard clacking)
436
00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:57,281
(printer whirring)
437
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,788
Radical!
438
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:07,058
(tires squeal)
¶ you were born a fighter
439
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:11,496
¶ in the bird, a mighty warrior
440
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:14,032
¶ driven by desire
441
00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:15,033
Hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey!
442
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:17,702
¶ glory calls, it's waiting for you
443
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,303
¶ when your back's against the wall
444
00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,539
Class started
five minutes ago.
445
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:22,974
(sighs)
446
00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:24,475
Here you go,
my good man.
447
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:27,211
Hall pass.
¶ never surrender
448
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,280
¶ never say die
449
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:32,050
Get to class.
¶ you've got the heart of a hero
450
00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,385
¶ never surrender
451
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:37,755
¶ the will to survive ¶
(falcon calls)
452
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:40,391
Slow down!
You're making it nervous!
453
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:41,626
This is awesome!
454
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:44,262
Not awesome!
I thought you were
stealing a costume,
455
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:46,230
Not a real
freaking falcon!
456
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,966
(whimpers) oh, crap!
(laughs)
457
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,871
Erica: Good morning,
sunshine.
458
00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:54,839
Feel as good
as you look?
459
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,741
I am so sorry
about last night.
460
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,043
I hope I didn't do anything
too embarrassing.
461
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,779
Well, you cried and said
"I love you" a lot,
462
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:04,048
So no different
from normal.
463
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:04,849
What was I thinking?
464
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:08,219
You were thinking that
I'm awful for trying
to ditch you.
465
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,587
No.
466
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:12,190
You're wonderful.
467
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:14,625
You took care of your mom
all night long.
468
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:17,261
Hey, that was just
for one night,
469
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,996
And I wanted to die.
470
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:23,201
Somehow,
you do it every day
for all of us,
471
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,870
And that's
actually pretty cool.
472
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:33,945
I love you so much.
473
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:35,279
Are you still drunk?
474
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:36,647
Just buzzed.
475
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,316
But every "I love you"
is for real.
476
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,918
¶ oh, feel the beat of the rhythm of the night
477
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,687
¶ dance until the morning light
478
00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:45,490
¶ forget about the worries on your mind...
479
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:48,893
Dude, goldberg stole
the germantown high mascot.
480
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:51,362
Couldn't have
done it alone, ari.
481
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:53,598
This was the work
of the jtp.
482
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,600
¶ oh, oh, yeah ¶
yes!
483
00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:58,870
All: Jtp, jtp, jtp!
484
00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:01,339
Jtp, jtp, jtp!
485
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:02,907
All: Jtp!
486
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:08,312
Adult adam:
Yep, with a little help from me and apple ii plus,
487
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,714
Barry was back in the jtp.
488
00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:13,751
Why do they make him
wear this stupid
bird hat anyway?
489
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:15,820
All: Jtp! Jtp!
490
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,955
¶ feel the beat of the rhythm of the night
491
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,924
¶ dance until the morning light
he'll come back.
492
00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:22,593
¶ forget about the worries on your mind
(falcon calls)
493
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:25,463
¶ you can leave them all behind ¶
494
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:27,265
Adult adam: That's the thing about family.
495
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,467
They may not be the coolest cats on the planet,
496
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:32,370
But they're always there to take care of you
497
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:34,438
When you need them most.
498
00:19:36,074 --> 00:19:37,241
Hey, what you up to?
499
00:19:37,243 --> 00:19:38,643
Mom got a new toaster.
500
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:40,444
Thought I'd maybe
call the jtp.
501
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:42,914
And we'd have some fun.
Cool.
502
00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:49,420
Actually, you know
what would be even more fun?
503
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:50,988
If just you and me
broke it together.
504
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:53,057
Just us?
Are you serious?
505
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:56,561
As serious as truman was
about the taft-hartley act.
506
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:58,729
¶ feel the beat of the rhythm of the night
507
00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:00,798
¶ dance until the morning light
okay, here.
508
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,266
¶ forget about the worries on your mind
509
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:05,369
Adult adam:
Friends may come and go, but when it comes to family,
510
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:08,139
They'll always be there, watching over you.
511
00:20:08,141 --> 00:20:09,473
¶ dance until the morning light
512
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:13,044
¶ forget about the worries on your mind ¶
513
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,881
Number one, dad. He's number one.
514
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:17,848
(bell dings)
515
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:21,352
You're stewed, buttwad. That's from "weird science."
516
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:23,054
(bell dings)
517
00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:24,655
Ah! (laughs)
518
00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:26,057
(bell dings)
519
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,659
So we can look back in a hundred years from now
520
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:31,128
And say, "hey, we had a great life."
521
00:20:31,663 --> 00:20:34,465
Boys: Jtp, jtp!
522
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:38,236
Man: (on tv) you know, I like little houses and big trees...
523
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:41,739
Guess what.
I went back to the
photo kiosk at the mall.
524
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:45,509
And I scored you all
some pretty sweet stuff.
525
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:46,811
For murray,
526
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:51,849
A tie so we can be
with you all day long
at work.
527
00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:53,784
I think you're missing
the point of work.
528
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:57,421
For adam,
a pillow with my face
529
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,690
So I can give you snuggies
all night long.
530
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:01,626
Yes.
I'll sleep easy now.
531
00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:07,064
For barry, a big, tasty hat
for your big, tasty head.
532
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:10,201
Nice!
Beverly: And finally,
erica.
533
00:21:10,203 --> 00:21:12,436
I know you're all cool
and would never wear
534
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:13,771
Any of this stuff,
535
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,974
So I just got you cash.
536
00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:19,877
Oh, my god,
I love you!
537
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,214
What the hell is this?
538
00:21:23,216 --> 00:21:25,983
Bev bucks.
You trade them for kisses.
539
00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:27,151
No.
First one's free.
540
00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:28,219
Take it back.
First one's free!
541
00:21:28,221 --> 00:21:30,721
I don't want it.
I don't...
Kissy, kissy, kissy!
48574
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