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1
00:00:00,066 --> 00:00:01,734
Adult adam:
Anyone who grew up in the '80s will tell you
2
00:00:01,736 --> 00:00:04,470
There's those huge moments you'll never forget.
3
00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:07,473
Mary lou retton winning the gold...
4
00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:08,574
Hands across america...
5
00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:10,642
The fall of the berlin wall...
6
00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:12,378
Alf eating his first cat.
7
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:14,980
But the thing I remember most was this...
8
00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:15,647
My first kiss.
9
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:18,851
It was with dana caldwell, the girl down the block,
10
00:00:18,853 --> 00:00:19,918
And with the new school year,
11
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,286
It was time to define our relationship.
12
00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:23,989
Mixtape.
It's a genius move,
pops.
13
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,492
I can say everything
I need to say to dana
14
00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:28,494
Without actually
having to say it.
15
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:29,495
Forget the tape.
16
00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:30,963
Trust me,
I know about women.
17
00:00:30,965 --> 00:00:34,133
If you like a girl,
you tell her
face-to-face.
18
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:36,335
Here's what
I know about women...
19
00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:38,037
They confuse
and terrify me.
20
00:00:38,039 --> 00:00:39,071
I'm making a mixtape.
21
00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:40,939
Someone
say mixtape?
22
00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:42,541
It's your lucky day.
23
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,109
You came
to the right guy.
24
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,244
But I didn't come to you.
25
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,078
You literally
just came to me.
26
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,314
You can't just throw
some top 40 stuff
on a tape.
27
00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:50,749
You need
to tell a story,
28
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:53,318
Create a narrative
about your love.
29
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,720
All right,
first question...
30
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,955
Is she your girl?
I don't know.
31
00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:57,890
I haven't seen her
all summer.
32
00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:59,825
She went to tennis camp.
I went to space camp.
33
00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:02,628
Good.
She's an athlete.
You're a nerd.
34
00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:07,099
First song...
Paula abdul,
"opposites attract."
35
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,000
I'm listening.
36
00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:08,967
Next song,
we reel her in
37
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:13,539
With a silky slow jam
by yours truly,
big tasty.
38
00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:14,807
I'm not listening.
Too late.
39
00:01:14,809 --> 00:01:17,743
Next song,
we go with
a classic...
40
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:20,746
Def leppard's
"pour some sugar on me."
41
00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,448
That song's nasty.
42
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:23,348
Exactly!
43
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:24,516
Adult adam:
Nasty wasn't my style...
44
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:27,319
So I spent the entire night making an epic mixtape.
45
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:32,691
It was the perfect blend of chicago, rem, inxs, and weird al.
46
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:33,692
It was pure romance.
47
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:36,829
And that's our first
official mixtape.
48
00:01:36,831 --> 00:01:39,431
I hope you like it
as much as I like you.
49
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:43,635
And just like that, I had created a piece of musical art...
50
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,003
A veritable love letter for the ears,
51
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:48,574
Guaranteed to capture the heart of any woman.
52
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:52,010
Unfortunately, it captured the heart of the wrong woman.
53
00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:52,845
(tape switches off)
54
00:01:52,847 --> 00:01:54,480
Snuggle monster.
Whoa! Whoa!
55
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:56,415
What's happening?
What time is it?
56
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:57,182
2:00 a.M.
57
00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:58,317
I was just downstairs
cleaning,
58
00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:02,688
And I found
the mixture tape
you made for me.
59
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:03,755
Oh, oh.
60
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:04,923
Mom, here's the thing...
61
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,925
I just couldn't
wait till morning
62
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:10,062
To let you know
that I love you, too.
63
00:02:10,064 --> 00:02:10,929
Boop!
64
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,030
Adult adam:
It was a rookie mistake
65
00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:14,766
To leave anything lying around my house,
66
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:15,601
But my mom wasn't so crazy
67
00:02:15,603 --> 00:02:18,904
That she would actually think it was for her, right?
68
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:21,340
You're still in here,
aren't you?
69
00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:23,342
(whispers) love you.
70
00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:31,383
You got to tell her
that mixtape was
meant for dana.
71
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:35,220
I can't do that.
Look how happy she is.
72
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,655
It would shatter her
to pieces.
73
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,290
Well,
you better
find a way,
74
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:42,394
'cause you're heading down
a very dark road here.
75
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:45,998
Fluffy and delicious,
just like you.
76
00:02:46,065 --> 00:02:47,466
Oh! Mom...
77
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,201
Uh, listen.
78
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:50,035
I need to
tell you something.
79
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:54,806
Oh, sweet boy,
you've already said
it all with that tape.
80
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:57,176
Truth is,
I was terrified.
81
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,277
You're in middle school now.
82
00:02:58,279 --> 00:02:59,611
That's how old
barry and erica were
83
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:00,812
When they stopped
loving me.
84
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:03,415
But now that
you've made me
this tape,
85
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:07,553
I know that you
still love your mama,
86
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:09,922
And you always will.
87
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,456
Here's the thing, mom.
88
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:12,424
Adult adam: Pops was right.
89
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:15,928
It was time to come clean, or do this.
90
00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:17,129
I need a copy.
91
00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:18,163
Why?
So...
92
00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:20,866
We can listen to it
at the same time.
93
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,001
Aww.
How adorable.
94
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:23,869
And you know what?
95
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,671
Tomorrow night
after school,
96
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:26,672
We're getting
milkshakes
97
00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:30,275
And going to that
"die hard" movie
you've wanted to see.
98
00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:32,277
"die hard"!
That's r-rated!
99
00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:34,012
No admission
without an adult.
100
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,815
Well, you got your adult
right here, mister.
101
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:39,084
Did you just
make a date
with your mother?
102
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:43,388
Yes! This whole situation
is super messed up!
103
00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:45,757
Damn it.
Who ate all
the boo berry?
104
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:49,394
I gave it to adam
'cause he's
my favorite kid.
105
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,964
What? You can't
say that out loud.
106
00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:53,632
Oh, I can,
and I just did.
107
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,534
Both of you,
look at me.
108
00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:56,235
Adam's my favorite.
109
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:58,003
Yeah, I'm okay with it.
Me, too.
110
00:03:58,005 --> 00:04:01,173
Adult adam:
Yep, it was a dark road, all right.
111
00:04:01,175 --> 00:04:02,374
¶ I'm twisted up inside
112
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:05,944
¶ but nonetheless I feel the need to say
113
00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:09,748
¶ I don't know the future
114
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:13,452
¶ but the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶
115
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:15,120
Adult adam:
It was September 4, 1980-something,
116
00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:19,725
And erica was kicking off the school year in a big way...
117
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:21,460
With a fake I.D.
118
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:24,296
Well, nice to make
your acquaintance,
sophia lopez.
119
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,898
Give it back.
You don't want to
share it with me?
120
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:27,833
That's not very generous,
121
00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,234
Considering
you're an organ donor
122
00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:31,670
From the great state
of new hampshire.
123
00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:34,673
Forget you saw this,
understand?
124
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:35,307
No can do.
125
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:38,010
I have
a pornographic
memory.
126
00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:38,543
I want in.
127
00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:41,446
No way.
You can't handle
a fake I.D.
128
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,681
You'll immediately
get caught
129
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:43,515
And ruin it for everyone.
130
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:46,018
Well, if you don't
help me get one,
I'm telling dad.
131
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:47,686
You wouldn't.
Dad!
132
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:48,287
Shut up.
Dad!
133
00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:50,355
You know
he always comes on
the third "dad"
134
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,990
'cause he can't
ignore it anymore,
135
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,091
And the man
won't be happy
136
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,227
'cause he'll have
to walk the stairs.
137
00:04:55,229 --> 00:04:57,829
He hates
to walk the stairs.
138
00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,232
I don't care.
I'm not helping you.
139
00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:01,300
Dad!
Murray: What?
140
00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:04,369
Why are you
calling my name?
What do you want?
141
00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:06,571
The hell's
so damn important
142
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,507
That you make me
walk the stairs?
143
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:11,610
Well, I just
discovered
that erica is...
144
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,545
Ow.
Gonna help her brother.
145
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:14,546
Thank you
for your time.
146
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,315
Adult adam:
What came next was a classic
147
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:18,016
Murray goldberg golden rule...
148
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,217
One he said every day.
149
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:21,920
Okay, whatever
you two are up to,
150
00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:23,989
I'm not bailing you out.
151
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,691
Both: Understood.
152
00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:27,659
Yeah.
153
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,062
Guess I'm downstairs
for the rest of the day.
154
00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:33,031
Adult adam:
While barry's year was looking up,
155
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,567
I was about to lock it down with dana.
156
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,602
So, do you want to ride
our bikes later?
157
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,304
I found a dead snake
and I was wondering
158
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:41,640
If you wanted to poke it
with a stick or something.
159
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:42,974
Actually, um,
a bunch of people
160
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:44,276
Are going
to laserium tonight.
161
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:46,178
You know,
the laser-light show.
162
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,779
Do you want
to go together?
163
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:50,582
Adult adam:
I had a perfect opening to take pop's advice
164
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:53,585
And be honest with my special lady.
165
00:05:54,487 --> 00:05:56,722
Instead, I did this.
166
00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:58,657
Here. Got to go.
167
00:05:58,825 --> 00:05:59,424
It's a mixtape!
168
00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:03,462
The good news was I had a date with dana caldwell.
169
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:04,663
The bad news...
170
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:05,864
I was double booked.
171
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,699
Who's ready
for our movie date?
172
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,234
I bought a new sweater.
173
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:13,538
Yeah, I was thinking,
about our date...
174
00:06:13,806 --> 00:06:17,142
Maybe we can hang out
on Saturday instead?
175
00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:18,643
Really?
Yeah!
176
00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:19,811
Make a whole day of it.
177
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,614
Pack a picnic,
hit the park,
178
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:23,448
Get a paddle boat.
179
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:26,685
I mean, I don't want
to be stuck in
some movie.
180
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:27,586
I want to talk,
181
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:31,289
Find out what
makes you tick,
really dig in.
182
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:32,858
What do you think?
183
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:34,993
Holy (bleep)
I love that idea!
184
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:37,462
I love it.
(both laughing)
185
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:38,797
Great.
186
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:39,631
See you on Saturday.
187
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,333
Adult adam:
While I was spinning my web of lies,
188
00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:45,103
My brother and sister were working on a deception of their own.
189
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,572
Uh, with double prints,
your film comes out
to $17.23.
190
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,241
Before the age of digital cameras,
191
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:51,109
You actually had to venture across town
192
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:54,579
To get your pictures from a creepy guy in a vest.
193
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,313
There's your pictures.
194
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:58,083
Nice pecs.
What do you do,
high weight, low reps?
195
00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:00,419
Yeah.
I do arms on
weekends,
196
00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:01,153
Legs on Thursday.
197
00:07:01,155 --> 00:07:03,622
Let me do the talking.
Of course.
198
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,257
Hi.
Hey.
199
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,525
Remember me?
200
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,092
Sophia lopez.
201
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:10,395
I was here last week.
I want a fake I.D.,
okay?
202
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:11,897
(chuckles)
203
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:12,864
You a cop?
204
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,232
You wearing a wire,
buddy? Huh?
205
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,034
What's that strap?
What's down here?
206
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,069
All right,
if you are
wearing a wire
207
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:20,005
And I catch you,
you have to retire
208
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:21,940
From the force that day
without a pension.
209
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,175
That's the law.
210
00:07:23,177 --> 00:07:23,842
Nobody's wearing a wire,
211
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:26,812
And you should
probably read
a law book.
212
00:07:27,246 --> 00:07:27,879
Hmm.
213
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,181
All right,
let's do this.
214
00:07:29,183 --> 00:07:31,216
Step into the cutout.
215
00:07:31,484 --> 00:07:33,084
Step into the future.
216
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,352
This is so high-tech.
217
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:35,153
Yes, it is exciting.
218
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,656
All right, smile.
And three, two, one.
219
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:38,523
Dude,
what are you doing?
220
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,258
No. Just act normal.
Lose the hat. Come on.
221
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,994
But zeus alexander
washington always
wears a hat.
222
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,696
Oh, no.
That's your name?
223
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,564
That's too many
letters, dude.
224
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:46,765
That's too weird.
It's too stupid.
225
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,767
I like my second choice
better anyway...
226
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:49,935
James bond.
Taken.
227
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,002
Barry bonds.
Also taken.
228
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,370
Barry fakington!
What's wrong with you?
229
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:54,606
Just pick
a normal name
already.
230
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,208
Barry goldberg!
That's your name.
231
00:07:56,210 --> 00:07:58,577
Erica goldberg.
Idiot, that is my name!
232
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,946
Sir richard chamberlain.
Stop panicking!
233
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:01,613
Mr. Clock table!
234
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,582
Now you're just saying
things that you see.
235
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:06,184
I'll pick you a name,
dude, all right?
236
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:09,588
Adult adam: And just like that, barry had his new identity.
237
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:11,256
Carlos del monaco
238
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,691
Of mehoopany, pennsylvania.
239
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,559
As barry was getting a new identity,
240
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:16,194
I was still getting up the nerve
241
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:18,530
To find out where I stood with dana.
242
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:21,099
Luckily, she made it easy for me.
243
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,335
I listened
to the mixtape.
244
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,904
Oh. Did you like it?
245
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:28,240
I played it
like four times.
246
00:08:28,407 --> 00:08:29,641
You're a good boyfriend.
247
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:30,609
Adult adam: There it was.
248
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,677
Proof that if you never speak your feelings,
249
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,347
Eventually, the other person will.
250
00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:37,516
That night, I was walking on air,
251
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:40,085
And nothing could bring me down.
252
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:40,652
Hi, shmoopy.
253
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:42,320
Beverly: Did you
kids have fun?
254
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:44,356
For sure.
Totally.
255
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,590
Well, everybody
buckle up,
256
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:48,860
'cause we're about
to take a musical
journey...
257
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:51,129
With a special
mixtape...
258
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,464
No! No! No! No!
No! No! No!
259
00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:54,366
...From my number-one guy.
260
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,101
Adam: Hey, it's me.
261
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,702
I made this tape special for you,
262
00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:00,438
And all the songs on it remind me of us,
263
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,473
Especially this one,
264
00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:02,674
'cause you're
my inspiration.
265
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:07,379
¶ you know our love was meant to be
266
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,514
(whispers)
is that my mixtape?
267
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:14,386
¶ the kind of love to last forever
268
00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:15,987
Oh, balls.
269
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:19,558
¶ and I want you here with me
270
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,893
You too, dana.
It's fine.
271
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:22,928
What's going on?
272
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,529
Why does your mom
have my mixtape?
273
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:25,764
(music stops )
oh, you're confused.
274
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:31,670
Um, adam made me
that tape because
I'm the inspiration.
275
00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:32,604
What?
276
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,372
I thought
I was the inspiration.
277
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,074
You are.
Beverly: Uh...
278
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,409
I'm the inspiration.
279
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,177
Those words
are on that tape, yes.
280
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:42,347
So, then,
who's the
inspiration, adam?
281
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,281
Yeah, adam.
Who is the inspiration?
282
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:47,018
Did you give
me and your mom
the same mixtape?
283
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:49,621
Okay, both of you
like to laugh,
284
00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:51,723
So you'll appreciate this.
285
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,158
(chuckles)
286
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:54,092
Yes.
This is weird.
287
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:57,362
I'm just gonna go
grab a ride with
my friends.
288
00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,331
No!
Yeah, bye, dana.
289
00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:00,165
Don't go.
290
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,367
I made the tape
for you, okay?
291
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,069
But my mom
thought it was for her
292
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,670
Because she's
a freaking lunatic!
293
00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:08,506
I was just trying to spare
her crazy feelings!
294
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:12,210
Well, I'm glad
you spared her feelings.
295
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:16,214
Adult adam:
I had seriously pissed off my girlfriend.
296
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:16,781
(door closes)
297
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:20,051
But maybe I could still salvage things with my mom.
298
00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:21,286
So...
299
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,154
Is "die hard"
still an option?
300
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:26,358
Adult adam: Yeah, no. Not happening.
301
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:28,760
Whoo!
302
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:31,630
Guess who
just turned 25!
303
00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:32,998
Carlos del monaco.
304
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,733
Who wants
spray paint,
305
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,001
Lottery tickets?
306
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,936
I can vote, rent a car,
307
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,871
Lease a junior
one-bedroom apartment.
308
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:41,473
I'm all man,
all the time!
309
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:44,042
All right, party's over.
Give me your fake I.D.
310
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,244
Fake I.D.?
Where are you
getting this?
311
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:49,147
I don't know.
Maybe 'cause
you've literally shown it
312
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,682
To every student
in school.
313
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:54,019
I have been trying
to ignore you all day.
314
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:55,954
So, I got carried away.
315
00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:56,655
Come on, coach meller.
316
00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,857
You remember the rush
of having a fake I.D., right?
317
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:01,493
Ah, geez, all right.
Just don't let me
see it again.
318
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,294
You got it.
These lips are zipped.
319
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:06,631
Yo. You the dude
with the fake I.D.?
320
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:07,832
Yes, I am.
321
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:10,669
Carlos del monaco
at your service.
322
00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:12,303
I'm throwing an
end-of-the-summer bash
323
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:13,271
At my place, seniors only,
324
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:14,305
But you can come
if you score us some beer.
325
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:17,809
(scoffs) I can get you
all the beers you
want, young man.
326
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,911
How many beers
we talking? Huh?
Huh? Huh?
327
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,513
Five? 10?
328
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,682
Ten cases
should be enough.
329
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:24,149
Ten cases?
330
00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:26,751
Entire senior class
is counting on you,
buddy.
331
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:29,120
Don't let us down.
332
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,156
You got it.
333
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:32,157
You got it.
334
00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:33,258
I'm gonna get
the entire senior class
335
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:37,095
Totally loaded tonight
with this little beauty
right here.
336
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,798
No, you're not.
Damn it!
337
00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:41,700
Dana. Wait.
338
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:44,035
Look, I know
you've been avoiding me,
339
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:47,439
But we've got to talk
about what happened.
340
00:11:47,441 --> 00:11:48,807
Okay. Talk.
341
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,875
Adult adam: Seemed like my only option was to finally do
342
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:54,245
What pops said and speak from the heart.
343
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,715
Or try the tape thing again.
344
00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:59,317
Oh, I've made you
a new mixtape.
345
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:00,719
Only for you.
346
00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:01,519
"adam's sorry jams"?
347
00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:03,688
Every title
has the word
"sorry" in it.
348
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:04,656
That's great,
and if I lose that,
349
00:12:04,658 --> 00:12:07,092
I can always
get the other copy
from your mom.
350
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:07,926
(chuckles)
funny stuff.
351
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:11,029
But we're still on
for laserium
Saturday, right?
352
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:13,264
I think
I just need
some space.
353
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,133
Space?
Totally get it.
354
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:17,268
You're talking to the dude
that went to space camp.
355
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,604
Adult adam: Even though all the women in my life were mad at me,
356
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:23,708
At least I could turn to a sweet cereal ghost for comfort.
357
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:25,777
Ah, boo berry.
358
00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:28,113
Adult adam: Or not.
359
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:29,814
Aw, dang it.
No more boo berry.
360
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:30,782
Beverly: Oh, I'm sorry.
361
00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:32,617
I gave the last
of it to erica.
362
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:35,253
Looks like
I'm the favorite kid now.
363
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,288
It won't last long,
but I'm enjoying it.
364
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,857
Here you go,
pumpkin loaf.
365
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:41,693
And you...
Enjoy your tuna!
366
00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:44,429
I know how well
it keeps on
long school days.
367
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:48,099
Adult adam: If I ever wanted boo berry or my mother's love again,
368
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,969
I had to give my mom a sincere apology...
369
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,671
That I meant for someone else.
370
00:12:55,941 --> 00:13:00,078
Hey, I made this
for you special.
371
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,380
"adam's sorry jams."
372
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:03,915
Aww.
373
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,184
Sweet gesture.
374
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,920
Where's the case?
The case?
375
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:09,721
Oh, no case.
376
00:13:09,723 --> 00:13:12,524
I wanted the music
to speak for itself.
377
00:13:12,526 --> 00:13:15,493
What's that
case-shaped
thing in your pocket?
378
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,662
That's my uno deck.
379
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:18,296
I...
380
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,665
I have
a big tournament
at school.
381
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:21,766
Got to go.
382
00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:22,400
Aah! Ooh-ooh-ooh!
383
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,235
I know you made that
mixture tape for dana!
384
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:26,738
No boo berry
for you
ever again!
385
00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:28,907
Adult adam: As bad as things were for me,
386
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:30,642
They were even worse for barry.
387
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:33,211
There you go, mur-man.
Frosty cold one.
388
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:36,047
I didn't ask for this.
What do you want?
389
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:36,447
Nothing.
390
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,683
I just thought
I'd bring my old man
a bottle of suds.
391
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:41,452
Speaking of,
how many of those
bad boys are in a case?
392
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:44,722
24.
Damn it.
That's so many beers.
393
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:47,592
I mean,
there's only four here.
394
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:49,160
Why don't
we cruise down
to wawa
395
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,328
And buy you
a whole bunch more?
396
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,363
I'm not gonna
buy you beer, moron.
397
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:54,465
(sputters) pardon me?
398
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,768
That's not what
I'm asking you for.
399
00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:57,235
I'm just...
400
00:13:57,237 --> 00:14:00,972
I'm looking for a fun
father-son activity,
you know?
401
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:04,509
Like...
Like buying beer.
402
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,444
Or making beer.
403
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,679
That'd be fun, right?
404
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:08,980
Let's go buy
some yeast and barley
405
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:11,282
And start bonding
in the bathtub.
406
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:11,749
Okay...
407
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:14,819
Whatever stupid thing
you're up to,
408
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:15,987
I am not bailing you out.
409
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,188
I know you
always say this,
410
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,957
But let's just
pretend for
one second
411
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:21,159
I did something real stupid.
412
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:21,659
I can do that.
413
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,828
Isn't it your
legal responsibility
414
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,897
As my father
to bail me out?
415
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:27,999
No. It's my responsibility
416
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:32,203
To make you face
whatever dumbass decision
you made head on,
417
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,505
Even if it kills you.
418
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:36,107
I'm a good dad.
419
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:39,377
Adult adam: Barry didn't get what he wanted out of my dad.
420
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:44,949
But turns out he got what he wanted out of my dad's wallet.
421
00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:49,420
Whoo!
422
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,222
This should get me
through the night.
423
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,457
I love beer.
424
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:53,892
This is all for you?
425
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:55,159
Sure is.
426
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:57,295
Missus is a yapper.
427
00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,597
So... You're murray goldberg.
428
00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:00,565
Yeah.
429
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,268
Work down at
the old furniture store.
430
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:04,869
Have the three kids
back at home.
431
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:08,573
I call 'em morons,
but I secretly love them.
432
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:12,277
So, you're telling me
that you're almost
50 years old?
433
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:13,745
I just look young.
434
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:16,481
Got a bit of a baby face.
435
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,349
I'm half hawaiian.
436
00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:20,118
Aloha.
437
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,220
Okay, murray.
438
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:24,155
When's your birthday?
439
00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:26,124
Oh, I should know this.
440
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:27,825
Damn it!
441
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,395
Obviously, I, uh...
442
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:30,962
I drink a lot.
443
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,264
You do know that
your father comes
in here every morning
444
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,833
For a cup of coffee, right?
No, I did not.
445
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:38,436
I think I'm gonna
ring up your father.
446
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,638
Thank you for your time.
447
00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:45,176
Adult adam:
It was Friday night.
448
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,011
Dwayne martin's senior party.
449
00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:49,113
Even though barry lost his fake I.D.
450
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,081
And my dad's real one,
451
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:53,284
He was still determined to be the hero.
452
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:56,120
You are in
so much trouble!
453
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:56,454
Dad?
454
00:15:56,456 --> 00:16:00,591
If you think I'm gonna
let you go into that party
with a bag full of...
455
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:02,293
Sandwiches?
Where's the beer?
456
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,995
There is no beer.
457
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:04,762
But I went to lee's hoagies
458
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:07,265
And bought cheesesteaks
and patty melts and heroes.
459
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:10,501
Why?
'cause when you arrive
to the party with a hero,
460
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,971
They'll think
you're a hero.
461
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:15,940
And another name
for a hoagie is a hero!
462
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,276
And I want to be a hero!
463
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:19,844
You're a moron!
464
00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:20,445
I know.
465
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:23,848
I mean, you spent
their beer money
on sandwiches?
466
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:24,682
What's wrong with you?
467
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:27,085
Just wanted this year
to be different.
468
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:28,686
You know, for...
469
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:29,954
For once,
I want to go to a party
470
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,789
Where people were actually
excited to see me.
471
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,725
(door opens)
dwayne: Yo!
472
00:16:33,727 --> 00:16:35,393
Adult adam:
The moment had arrived.
473
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:36,327
Collars were popped,
474
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,963
Which meant tension was high.
475
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:42,266
My dad had a choice.
476
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:45,803
He could do what he always said and not bail barry out,
477
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:48,740
Or he could do this...
478
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:50,575
Damn it, barry!
479
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:55,513
If you think you can take
this ice-cold, delicious beer,
480
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,282
Some of it
very expensive
from germany,
481
00:16:58,284 --> 00:16:59,717
You got
another thing coming!
482
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:03,421
It's a good thing
I came here!
Let's go!
483
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,322
Fight the power,
carlos.
484
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:08,893
Adult adam: My brother may have failed, but my dad gave him a victory.
485
00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:10,795
(cheering)
486
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,566
Hey, honey.
487
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,735
You okay?
488
00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:21,339
Kids used to make me
stuff like this all the time.
489
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:24,342
I used to think
I'd need a bigger box.
490
00:17:24,476 --> 00:17:25,643
Guess not.
491
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:31,015
You do know that
no son makes
a mixtape for his mom.
492
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:34,519
I guess I just
wanted it to be true.
493
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:38,423
I don't want adam
turning out horrible
like the others.
494
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:41,559
Honey, he's a teenager.
They're all horrible.
495
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,995
But it's just so hard,
you know?
496
00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:44,996
I mean,
when they're young,
497
00:17:44,998 --> 00:17:46,697
They just love you
so much.
498
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:49,834
And then they grow up
and they don't.
499
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,903
Hey, adam loves you.
500
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,037
The fact that
he didn't tell you
501
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:56,741
The truth about the tape
just shows you how much.
502
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,744
But when it comes
to him and dana,
503
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,345
You got to stay
out of it.
504
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:04,215
Oh, my god.
You're right.
505
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,451
Guess I kind of made it
more complicated for him.
506
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:10,221
He's a smart kid.
He'll figure it out.
507
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:10,888
You're right.
508
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:13,958
I have to help him
figure it out.
509
00:18:14,326 --> 00:18:16,627
What? No.
Don't get involved.
510
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:18,062
Yes. Get involved!
511
00:18:18,064 --> 00:18:22,700
Make a grand gesture
to help win dana back
for my little boy!
512
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:23,434
What's happening?
513
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:26,237
Are we even having
the same conversation?
514
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:27,538
Don't do that!
515
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:28,639
I am gonna do that!
516
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,775
Dad, you are the best.
Mwah!
517
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,910
(laughing) I'm gonna do it!
518
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:37,915
¶ baby, you're the meaning in my life
519
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:40,685
¶ you're the inspiration
520
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:42,019
¶ you bring me meaning to my life ¶
521
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:44,655
Adam: Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
Adam?
522
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,524
We need to talk.
523
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:49,427
If you got another tape,
just leave it.
524
00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:52,029
No. No more tapes.
Just words.
525
00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:55,032
I should've
just told you
how I felt, okay?
526
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,667
Told you that
I really like you.
527
00:18:56,669 --> 00:19:00,872
Told you that
I never felt this
way about anyone.
528
00:19:00,874 --> 00:19:01,706
And...
529
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:04,342
I'd do anything
to be your boyfriend.
530
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,711
Adult adam: I didn't know if she was buying it,
531
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:09,313
Then this happened.
532
00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:13,451
¶ you should know
533
00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:16,387
¶ everywhere I go
534
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:18,890
¶ always on my mind
535
00:19:18,892 --> 00:19:20,324
¶ in my heart, in my soul ¶
536
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,660
I can't believe
you did this.
537
00:19:22,761 --> 00:19:25,496
Yeah. It's unbelievable.
538
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:29,700
¶ you're the inspiration
539
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:32,737
¶ you bring feeling to my life
540
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:36,073
¶ you're the inspiration
541
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:36,908
(softly) thank you.
542
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:38,309
¶ want to have you near me
543
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:42,847
¶ I want to have you hear me sayin'
544
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:45,082
¶ no one needs you more than I need you
545
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:46,450
Oh, my god.
How did you pull this off?
546
00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:48,219
I guess
I just know
the right person.
547
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:50,388
Adult adam: Turns out my mom broke into the control booth
548
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:54,892
And terrified the engineer, but she actually saved me.
549
00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:59,664
So, you're finally
the hero.
550
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:01,432
I hope it felt good.
551
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,668
Yep.
Thanks to you.
552
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:05,002
You know, after
all that big talk,
553
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:07,104
In the end,
you still rescued me.
554
00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:08,573
Well, don't
get used to it.
555
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,575
It'll never happen again.
556
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:11,142
Come on.
557
00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:12,910
We both know
you'll always
bail me out.
558
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,612
No, I won't.
Yes, you will.
559
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,681
No, I won't.
560
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,616
Yes, you will.
561
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:19,884
(sighs)
562
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,619
Yes, I will.
563
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:23,387
But don't tell
the others.
564
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,256
¶ always on my mind
565
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:27,525
¶ no one needs you more than I
566
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,360
Adult adam:
That's the thing about parents.
567
00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:32,263
No matter how hard we make it for them,
568
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:34,599
They always bail us out.
569
00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:39,637
Adam: Hi, dana.
570
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:40,638
(dinging)
571
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,341
I never thought I'd say this, but I love you,
572
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,543
And remember, you're the everything,
573
00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:48,112
And here's the song by r.E.M.,
574
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:50,348
"you are the everything."
575
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,116
There you go.
A new boat, huh?
576
00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:53,284
Your wife
loves to water ski.
577
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:57,388
I like the one-piece,
but the bikini
really works on her.
578
00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:58,256
How you doing,
old-timer?
579
00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:00,091
My granddaughter,
sophia lopez,
580
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:02,860
Said that
you might know
how to fabricate
581
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,662
An identification.
582
00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:07,531
Let's just say
I could do such a thing.
583
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:08,833
Why would
a distinguished
gentleman
584
00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,901
Like yourself
require such an item?
585
00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:12,303
Let's just say
586
00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:14,272
I told a younger
woman I was 60
587
00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:15,306
And need a way to prove it.
588
00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:17,508
Can you help?
It depends.
589
00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:18,209
Are you a cop?
590
00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:19,877
Because if you lie
and bust me,
591
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:20,578
Not only do
I go free,
592
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,713
I get to keep
your badge
for a year.
593
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:24,982
That's the law.
I have $200 cash.
594
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:27,084
Step into the cutout.
52960
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