Original subtitles

Okay, please don't forget to remind him, okay?

Thank you.

It was by far your best one.

You didn't like the other one?

No, I didn't.

Well,

we are thrilled to have Jillian James back with us with her new book. It's

called How to Pick Your Second Husband. Hey, Jillian, welcome to the show. Thank

you for having me. Now, you take a very practical look at picking your husband.

What inspired you to write this?

Every 36 seconds, there's a divorce happening in America, which tells me

a problem and we could be doing something better. Are you suggesting

pick a husband the same way we might write out a grocery list?

Well, when you go out to buy a car, you know what options you want.

You ask to see a report to make sure it hasn't been damaged.

Yes. When we go out to dinner, we only go to places with good reviews.

Well, you know, that's true. I live on my Yelp.

Exactly. And in the most important decision of our life, we...

Rely on feelings. Yes, but come on. Don't you think the heart wants what the

heart wants?

All right, well, I'm going to tell you what my viewers want. They want to know,

is this how you picked your husband?

Justin and I met in grad school.

We had a lot in common. We had the same friends, same goals.

So yes, I would say so. He fit into the profile of what I needed.

This is good stuff, and I'm so sorry we're out of time, but I do have to

you a congratulations.

You're getting a very special award tonight.

Thank you. I will thank you so much for this, and if you haven't gotten your

copy of the book, you need to. All right, we'll be back right after this.

That was great. Thank you. Good luck in everything.

Oh, you know what? I referred you to two of my friends, Lauren and Jack Murray.

You know, they were the perfect couple until, I don't know, it all just blew

That's too bad. Well, actually, if you ask me, they are so busy playing the

blame game that they just got to look in the mirror.

All right, come on.

You're fine.

You're doing great.

Remember what we talked about.

You know, when Harry brought me out here, all he did was yell at me, do

that. Well, at least Harry can.

Could you imagine Bob out here, sitting in some car to drive around in all day,

and some cute little girl serving snacks?

Hey, Hudson. Hi, Justin.

Me where?

Justin, don't do this to me. I don't, uh... The dinner for Jillian. I'm

I wouldn't forget that. Good.

Okay, 7 o 'clock in St.

James' room. Suit and tie. Jillian laid them out for you.

Leave. Don't be late. Got it, boss.

Hi.

You look great.

Where's your suit?

I'm happy to see you, too.

No one's looking at me. They're all looking at you.

You're wearing your boots.

I promise. No one's looking at my feet.

You would have looked so perfect.

Let it go.

It's a nice evening. You gave a great speech.

And it's over now.

Just once. I wish things would go as planned.

Sorry, I was running a few minutes behind.

Forget it. It's fine.

I'm not the therapist, but that sounds a little passive -aggressive.

You're right.

You're not the therapist.

Get all bottled in someday.

There's just few.

I think your words were let it go. I get it.

You're not changing.

What's wrong with me?

I'm tired.

I'm going to sleep.

I'm surprised you still have any teeth left to brush

I'll wear my night guard tonight.

You're still mad I didn't wear a suit last night?

Pete, when you say it like that, you make me feel petty.

Well, then what is it?

I feel like you don't respect me enough to be there for me when I ask.

Jill, I was there.

You were barely there.

I don't even know what that means.

Well, it means that I...

I would like to depend on you once in a while.

Mm -hmm.

Well, I have an early anniversary gift for you.

Oh, are you going to leave something shiny in front of me?

No, I know better than to pick out jewelry for you. I booked us that trip

always talk about. We'll be in Paris for our anniversary.

Wow.

Very sweet of you.

Talked about that trip.

And you know I can't go. Not now.

You can or you won't. No, I can't.

My publisher needs the first draft of my next book by the end of the month.

I was told there was some kind of mobile device that you could take with you and

write while you're away.

I don't even have an idea yet.

You know, a lot of people think that's my best one.

Make a list.

Your ideal husband would... Okay, can we not do this now?

My ideal husband would... Wear suits and always be on

time.

That's what you thought you were getting.

You weren't happy.

Yeah, now you're not happy.

You can't make me happy or unhappy.

You don't have that power.

But you wish I'd worn the Navy suit.

I have a nine o 'clock.

You always conveniently have an appointment whenever we start to talk.

Here, take mine.

No, it's fine. Thank you.

Justin, drop this by while you're with someone.

Dinner's 6 p .m. at the Oak Room.

Jake never does anything like that.

I'll be right back with your menu.

Thanks.

Those are the best short ribs I ever had.

I'm ready to go home and pack. How about you?

I told you I can't go.

I know. You don't love surprises. This is the only way I could... You thought

you trapped me.

I wouldn't call it a trap.

Look, how can I go when I have so much going on?

Just because you can't go doesn't mean I can't go, right?

You want to go on our trip without me.

Well, uh... Thanks. Anything else? Coffee?

No, we're fine.

It's just a bell.

You think you can fix something with a trip? You can't.

You're saying you want me to stay and then not go.

Well, just because I can't go doesn't mean I want you to go without me. Yeah,

then come with me. No, I have a deadline.

Your life is one big deadline.

Well, somebody has to pay the bill.

There it is.

What should I tell everyone?

Whatever you want.

If you could go

back in time and do it all over again, would you choose me?

Simple question, Joe.

Shouldn't have to think.

If I have your permission, I will be taping our session.

Will anyone see them? No, no, absolutely not. All right.

So, how long have you been married?

Two years.

And how long have you and your husband been having problems?

If I had to be honest, before we got married.

And you overlooked them.

Why?

All of my friends were getting married.

And that's what you wanted?

We had a beautiful wedding.

So you got married and found out that marriage doesn't fix everything.

Problems don't go away.

No, they did.

We had an amazing honeymoon. We spent a month touring Italy.

And then when we came home, everything slowly became ordinary.

Ordinary? Kind of boring.

Peter's an investment banker.

Do you know what an investment banker does?

He works.

All the time. Even when he's home, he's working.

And you never told him how you feel?

Every time I bring it up, he gets mad and we end up fighting.

So you decided to have a baby.

I thought it might make things better.

And your husband agreed that this was a good idea?

I waited until I was pregnant to tell him.

I think it's more romantic, don't you?

Like an old movie. I just love old movies.

So you didn't think that he should be included in this decision?

I didn't need to.

I was taking the pill, so I stopped, and I got pregnant.

Right. Of course you did.

So, what do you want now?

I want Peter to want to spend more time with me.

And you thought the baby would help with that? I am beginning to think there's a

problem with him.

With him.

Good boy.

Isn't he cute?

You've got to put on some sad music to go with those sad eyes.

Look, he likes you.

Are we doing this again? You asked me to take one of these sad little dogs just

because they don't have a home? You are in a great mood.

Oh, well, you wouldn't believe what Justin did.

Well, unless he's peeing on your carpet, I don't think I can help you. No, he

expected me to just drop everything and go on some stupid trips.

But you didn't want to go?

Well, I can't.

So he just packed his bag and left.

That doesn't sound like Justin.

Why does everyone think that he's the cool, easygoing one, and I'm the...

he's wanderlust. That's a thing, you know. Or, um, he could be going through

midlife crisis early.

Okay, we're not midlife. I said early.

I can't just leave on a whim.

You know, they do say absence makes the heart grow.

What is it?

Closer? You know what? No.

I'm not the problem. It's him.

We used to want the same things, and now I can't even get him into a suit

without a fight.

Tell me this isn't about clothes. What happened to the guy I married?

I feel like I don't even know him anymore. You know, this probably isn't

about you. He's going to come back, and everything is going to be just fine.

What if it isn't?

You want to go get some food?

No, I'm not hungry.

Then you can watch me eat.

No,

I've got to get back to the office, so other people can tell me all about their

terrible problems.

Fonder. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Please.

So, how did it go this week?

Jack, why don't you go first?

Okay, well, I tried to do everything she wanted. That's the problem.

I don't want you to try to do what I want. I want you to want to do those

things. So you think she'd be happy I'm even trying?

What's my motivation?

You need motivation. Okay, let's just back up.

Let's agree that you two being here this week is good.

Thank you. And we can agree that there's still work to do.

Let's look at your marriage as a team sport.

And you two are teammates.

You're not competing against each other. I don't play team sports.

I run.

Can you say that you can trust Jack?

Can you depend on him?

Not really.

Okay, well, we have to talk about that because without trust... What did I ever

do? This doesn't have to be about you, Jack.

Look, you two have gone through a lot of experiences in childhood and past

relationships that shape who you are.

This is you, Lauren.

And this is Jack.

See, you're filled with marbles, otherwise known as baggage.

And when we start dating, you guys are so polite that you keep your marbles to

yourself.

But in an intimate relationship...

You just start bumping into each other.

It's only natural.

I mean, we can't keep from it. This is the stuff that we have in us. It's going

to come out, and you have to deal with the stuff.

Are you okay?

Yes.

Yes.

Thank you.

I'm going to run out and grab someone. Do you want anything?

Would you say that I'm closed off?

Unable to let anyone in?

I mean, we all have stuff from our past, right?

Absolutely. I mean, unless you know what you need to deal with, you're going to

let it out on someone you're close to.

In one of my classes, we're talking about self -awareness.

It's amazing how all the little pieces of our lives become the sum total of who

we are and our relationship.

I think I'll have the salad.

Okay. A salad.

And don't forget the vinaigrette. On the side.

Got it.

I swear, his goal has got to be to annoy me.

There's no way he cannot be trying.

I think it just comes naturally.

I just wish Justin had taken Gary with him on his expedition.

If he were so lucky, I would kill for some alone time.

Well, me time is very important.

It's healthy.

I just want to sleep.

Tommy's been sleeping in our bed again, which means Larry is taking Tommy's bed

and pretending not to hear him cry.

Okay, not as a therapist, but as a friend.

You have got to get Tommy out of your bed.

He told them. Can you tell me how? I am so tired I cannot think.

You are the most married person I know. How are you guys still happy?

How is your me time?

It's very quiet.

That is something it is not around here. I know.

No, I know. I wish someone was that excited to see me when I get home.

Well, if you had a dog.

Well, except I don't want a dog. Come to the park with us.

It's Saturday.

You're allowed to have fun. Well, I'm working on my new book. Oh, now that

sound fun.

Hey, it is. I finally have an idea. It's called How to Unlock the Secret to a

Happy Marriage.

You know, if I can give people something quantitative, something that they can

just... check off the list, like I'm doing that or I need to do that. Yeah,

yeah. Nicole's going to throw the Frisbee to Maddie and me. So, have you

the secret yet?

Not yet.

But I'm compiling a list of the traits of my relationships with the clients

I work with or the couples that I know, like you guys on the success side.

Once I find the common denominator, well, that's a secret.

But you guys have fun.

Thanks. Bye. Bye.

Thanks for brunch.

Why did you and Daddy split up?

I mean, I know that it was another woman, but was it all?

Not enough?

Well, I mean, an affair is normally a symptom, not a problem.

I found your father's girlfriend to be a problem.

We didn't communicate.

Grew apart.

Had nothing in common.

Yada, yada, yada. That's helpful.

Did Justin... No, no, no, no, no.

You are an accomplished, independent woman.

And you don't need a man.

Don't you miss the companionship? I have a cat.

Don't look at me like that. I just have one cat.

And that's your dream in life? Just a cat to live happily ever after with? I

not wasting my time chasing something that doesn't exist.

Yes, but it does exist.

I've seen it.

It's rare, but I've seen it.

And look, you've seen it too.

Grandma and Grandpa have it. They're happy.

Okay, it exists.

But it's extremely rare. And my mother made her whole life about my father.

Is that what you want to do?

Hey, Jill, come on, let your grandpa finish that. It's going to rain.

It's going to rain.

I'll be in there.

You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.

You know, I'm writing a new book called How to Unlock the Secret to a Happy

Marriage. That's wonderful.

Yeah, it's a great title, but that's all I have.

So this is where I get to impart my words of wisdom?

Yep.

I'm going to tell you what my mother told me.

Find someone you love and then hold on because it's going to be a bumpy ride.

You know, I was kind of hoping that you'd give me a list of do's and don'ts.

know, a secret.

You're overthinking it. It's not that hard. Or that easy.

I know it's hard. I'm not sure about easy.

I mean, you found the right guy.

How did you do that?

Found him?

There were two boys my age and he had the car.

My family grew up in a small town and he lived right down the road.

You picked Grandpa because he had a car?

Hey, things were a lot more pragmatic back in those days.

And he's really cute, too.

He was cute when he had a car.

You got it.

Hey. Hi.

Hi. Hi.

So, you find that secret sauce yet? You guys make it look so easy.

Anyone who thinks relationships are easy?

Hasn't been in one.

What are you talking about?

Hey, need any help?

No, I think I have it under control.

I love her. Aaron, you want a taste?

Okay.

All right, that's all you get until dinner. Will you do me a favor and

putting ice in the glasses and also light the candle?

I'm on it.

Well,

you obviously have it all figured out. What's up?

He would do anything for you, and he'd be happy to do it.

He adores you.

Anything else, honey?

Uh, maybe some music. Thanks.

Go get your toy and take it to Daddy.

You are a puppet master.

I know what they want.

I'll get it.

Unbelievable.

I had something rare, something that I wanted.

That's no gift.

You burst my bubble.

Aaron is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and we were both very

Your bubble is fine.

Did you have him nude or two?

Stop it. You know, maybe there is no secret.

Maybe it's like Al Capone's vault, nothing there.

You know, I spend my day listening to marriage problems that I can't fix, and

all I want to say to them is, like, why did you ever get married?

Maybe you should take some time off. You know, people, they think, they expect

that they're going to be in some part of very small, exclusive group of the

people that found the right person.

But there's what?

There's, what, seven billion people in the world? Okay, yeah, those are great

odds. Okay, how many of those have you had? Have you slept? No. I have to

the book that unlocks the secret to happiness in a relationship, and when

gets home, if Justin ever gets home, I need to know the secret.

The safe between the two of us, you understand?

I treat my husband the way I want to be treated.

Okay, see, that's not funny.

No, you can see how vulnerable I am. What do you want? Why is it that people

that know exactly what it takes to have a successful marriage don't want to tell

you? Like what, there's only enough happiness? Is that it?

If you breathe a word of this to anyone, I will deny it.

So we hadn't been married for very long, and we were fine.

We were adjusting to married life.

And I decided that I wanted a puppy.

And so we got one, and he was adorable and a handful.

And we read all of the book, and nothing was working.

So we decided to go to a class.

The woman was amazing. She was a miracle worker.

And she made it look so easy.

She suggested that we get another dog to keep our dog company during the day

when we weren't there.

And I asked with this one if I could train. You know, because I wanted to

how to do it myself.

Oh, so she taught you to be the dog whisperer. She taught me everything

training a dog.

So you accidentally trained your husband?

No, I just realized how good dogs have it.

They do something good, you give them a treat. Who doesn't want that?

They come when you call, you pat them on the head. Go for a walk, they're happy.

Okay, so you're saying that walk and treats are the secrets to your marriage?

That sounds silly.

No, no.

Silly?

It's ridiculous.

Can I help you find something? Yes, hi. I was looking for a book on training a

puppy. Oh, what kind is he?

I don't know yet. Just thinking about getting one. Oh, well, you know they're

lot of work.

I'd recommend getting one that's already been trained.

We had an awful time.

We had to replace the carpet to get rid of the smell. Oh, right here.

Let's see.

Oh, here.

And,

you know, take your time.

And pick the one that's right for you.

I will. Thank you so much. You're welcome.

our talk last week?

I know. You think I'm clinical.

I went to the library and checked out some books on the subject.

Surprisingly, it parallels on some behavioral studies that have already

done. I'd like to try some of those for my new book.

Hi. I want the treats.

I want the treats.

I got the treats.

Yeah.

Oh, you're the best.

Come on.

See?

That's unbelievable.

You want one?

No, you know I don't eat cookies.

But I will take one of those dogs you're always trying to get rid of.

But just a loner.

Are you serious?

Mm -hmm.

Let's go.

Oh, look.

Sad dog's still here. I told you no one would want him.

I think it's meant to be. Come here, little munchkin.

Yeah.

Um,

yeah. Well, is he trained?

You think you look smart?

You two are perfect for each other.

No, no.

Well,

I guess we should have gone outside first, huh?

Okay, come on, Henry.

Come on.

I'll take that.

Okay,

you ready?

You gotta walk.

Henry, walk.

Come on.

Okay, we got you.

Henry,

come on. All right, walk.

Take your time. You'll probably need to get acclimated.

Can you give me a dog?

Hey, Henry.

Henry, do you need to go?

I wonder if there's an app for a bathroom break so we don't have another

accident.

Huddle and pile.

Huh.

Planning is the key to everything. You'll see, Henry.

No, about Joanne.

Huh?

Nothing.

Sorry, it's a puppy.

Go on.

Can we get him out?

I'm afraid that will send the wrong message.

I think it'll hurt just one.

Look at him.

Oh, come here.

He's a beast.

You just want someone to pick you up, don't you?

This isn't very professional.

You should charge extra for puppy therapy.

Well, he's not mine, but I'll take a note of that.

How's he doing through the night?

I'm sure he'll do fine.

Well, some of the nights are rough.

I have him on a schedule.

So, about Joanne.

Nothing I do seems to make her happy.

Well, no, you can't.

You can do things with her that you think that she might enjoy, but

it's up to her.

She's responsible for her own feelings.

I know.

It's worth it or something.

Why don't we try and get her in again?

You should come home with me. That might make her happy. Okay.

I'll see you next week.

Hopefully with Joanne.

Okay.

Bye -bye.

Hey.

What am I going to do with you?

Are you hungry?

I don't understand why Justin is out traveling the world and you got a dog.

What's going on?

I didn't get a dog.

I'm just helping Nicole out. This is temporary.

That's all.

You don't think you're trying to cover up the fact that your biological clock

ticking away and your husband's not having the time of his life?

I'm sorry, did you learn that in one of your classes, too?

I'm not sharing my personal relationship or my reproductive life plan with you,

Hudson. A dog is just that, a dog.

Your doctor's office keeps leaving you messages like that. I don't know what to

say, that's all.

Okay, so you're obviously aware that Justin is gone now.

But I thought it was you. I will be making my own doctor's appointment from

on.

Sorry, didn't know you were so sensitive about it. Oh, I'm not, I'm not, I'm

fine, I'm fine.

You know, I could really use a coffee run right now.

Hudson doesn't know what she's talking about, does she?

I mean, what does she know?

What does she know about having a baby? I mean, I'm not one of those women that

has to have a baby. I have a career.

What would I do with a baby? I can't just put a baby in a crate in the

I'm surprised Nicole even trusted me to take care of you.

Hey, buddy.

What's wrong?

Are you afraid of the dark?

Okay.

I'm only negotiating this once with you.

I'm only doing it once, okay? But you have to stay in the

kennel. I don't want to send the wrong message.

Hey, let me finish.

You can sleep by my bed, okay?

You're probably lonely and I'm tired if you keep doing that. Let's go to bed.

returning the dog.

I showed it where it's supposed to go to the bathroom, and it's going everywhere

but there.

And also, I didn't know dogs were supposed to be nocturnal. I didn't read

anywhere. He's a puppy. It takes time. You just have to be consistent.

Well, when am I supposed to go to sleep?

What if I fall asleep while listening to a client?

How are you going to do research for your book if I take you to bed? Okay,

that's not fair.

You have to help me. Come to class. We'll start on some basic commands.

Well, we don't beg when we want our dog to do something. We use a voice that's

easy for them to understand the command.

Henry, sit.

Oh, okay. I've seen that before.

Good sit.

Practice with him a few more times, okay? Okay.

These are for Henry.

All right. Henry, thank you so much for being here. We'll see you next week.

Remember, short leash, close to you.

He's good, right?

Yeah, he is. He is a good boy. Well, you make it look so easy.

Just give them praise when they learn something new.

I use that in my book.

Have you heard from Justin?

No, not a word. I thought he would text or something, let me know he's alive,

but... Did you reach out?

My assistant follows him on Instagram.

You could call.

You think?

Well, seeing as we're not in junior high and we're married, yeah.

Okay, but don't you think he would call if he'd want to talk?

Do you want to fix it?

Take the first step.

What should I say?

Well, you're the marriage therapist, so you probably know better than me, but

maybe you could start with something like, how are you?

Where are you?

Lead with that.

Okay. Yeah, I could do that.

Why are you?

I assumed something was wrong when you didn't show up. Oh, um, Henry, this is

Mona. Mona.

Henry? Cats are so much more adorable.

I'm sorry, I completely forgot about today.

Did your housekeeper quit?

Oh, no. I'm, uh, trying to bake cookies.

You don't eat cookies.

Well, I thought it would be nice for her when Justin gets home.

Gets home? From where?

He's in Europe.

Europe? Yeah, he's working.

He wanted me to go with him, but, you know, I'm busy.

Shouldn't you be European to be a European tour guide?

He's an adventure expedition specialist.

I'm sorry, how is that different from a tour guide?

Well, the way you say it, it's demeaning.

I don't know how to say it. He went to lots of Illinois times rocks.

He wasn't happy.

Everybody thinks they need to be happy.

Happiness is elusive. I mean, how would you possibly even know if you found it?

I just find it exhausting.

Elusive. One of you is still working. What is it?

It's called How to Unlock the Secret to a Happy Marriage.

Good. Then you can read it.

Oh, I think Henry needs to... Henry! I hate to say this, but people do not buy

weight loss books from overweight writers.

Okay, today we are going to teach Down, which is why we first taught Fit.

He's clearly an overachiever.

You shouldn't be in the beginning of class. You're doing fine.

Self -esteem. All right. When you want your dog to go down, you simply hold the

treat in front of their nose, lead them down to the ground, and when their belly

touches the ground, you say, yes, good job, and give them a treat.

Hey, yes, it's wonderful. Keep practicing.

Great, that was great.

All right, everyone practice for next week, and we will see you then.

All right, take care.

Yes, you've been practicing good.

Thanks. I was talking about Henry, but you too.

Great job.

I texted Justin last night. Oh, and how is he?

Good, I think.

He didn't say a lot.

Okay, well, that's a start, right?

Yeah.

I bet he's your best student.

Well, I'm not supposed to choose favorites, but, uh, yeah, he's the best.

it. I have an exercise

I'd like for you guys to try this week.

Will you try?

Sure.

I bet you used to do this when you were dating.

I want you to say thank you.

And you're welcome, like you would to a total stranger.

It's easy for us to take each other for granted, but a simple thank you... Why

would I thank him?

It's just as much his trash as it is mine.

It's not all my trash.

I do more around the house than he does.

If you tell me what it is you want me to do, I'll do it.

Often we want our spouses to know what it is we want without telling them,

is extremely difficult.

We're being honest with ourselves. We may know what we don't want, but we

know what we want. I know what I want, but I'm not telling him.

Why can't you tell Jack what it is you want?

He can't read your mind.

What are you afraid of?

Give Jack the opportunity to meet your needs.

He's not the enemy.

It's the summit, and it's beautiful.

I keep thinking about the way I left, and I'm sorry.

I need to know what you're thinking.

Okay, Justin isn't just working.

Of course he's not.

I think he wants to come home. He wants to know what I'm thinking.

Well, I'm sure he does.

He's testing the waters. He wants to see if it's safe to come home.

Safe? You have to set him straight.

He can't just take off whenever he feels like it with who knows whom.

Or you stay home and bake cookies.

No, no, it's not like that. Look, he just needed some time away.

Oh, grow up.

Why do you think he left?

You think I should go meet him? No, relax.

You have the upper hand.

No, Mom, we're 50 -50. Do you want him to think you've been sitting around

waiting for him to come home?

Or do you want him to wonder what he missed out on while he was gone?

Jonathan is not that.

But he's a man.

And he'll use your weaknesses against you if you let him.

No, Henry, Henry, no. That's not yours. It's Mona's.

Justin's the enemy here.

I didn't say he was.

But that doesn't mean you can trust him either.

Come on.

Come on, Henry.

Let's go.

Aww. So gorgeous.

It's beautiful.

So,

I texted Justin last night.

I told him that I missed him and that he should come home.

And what did he say?

Nothing. He said nothing.

I think I just, I waited too long to respond.

You don't know that. Well, no, he doesn't like it when I'm indecisive, and

knows what he wants. He's decisive.

Well, you said what you felt, and that's good.

I'm really proud of you.

Maybe my mother's right.

Maybe he's not alone.

What if he never got the call?

What if he had no cell service?

What if he was stuck on top of a mountain, caught in a snowstorm, and he

fight off a pack of wild mountain goats?

What if he drops his phone? What I'm saying is, I think he's going to be in

touch.

I hope so.

Do you guys remember my friend from work, Jess, the pretty blonde?

Yeah. Well, we're not friends anymore.

Why? You seem so nice. Yeah, I thought so too.

Until she and Larry announced that they're in love.

I mean, I introduced them.

No.

You think you've got it all figured out, and then you have to start over with

half of what you had, minus what the lawyers took. And then you lose all of

friends because you're a couple friends, and they just feel uncomfortable having

to choose, so they just disappear.

He won't lose us.

No.

Larry won't want you.

Are you sure he's still working?

Oh, I trust Justin.

How's Henry?

Oh, he's so good.

He just played the other day. He's so cute.

Look who I found wandering outside our apartment.

Justin, what are you doing here?

I didn't want to just crawl into bed and you come home and not know I was there.

Why didn't you call?

Our battery's dead.

Hey, Justin, can I just get some food?

I'm really tired, but thanks. Of course. Hey, Aaron, help me get these dishes,

huh?

Hi.

How was your trip?

I'll tell you about it later. You look good.

Oh, no, I don't.

You want a ride home?

Who's Henry?

Henry.

Nicole asked you how he was?

Oh, um... Henry, he's a friend.

Oh.

Where'd you meet?

A good thing.

He's a client?

Uh -huh.

I didn't know you talked to Nicole about your client.

Oh, well, sometimes.

You're not jealous, are you?

Uh -uh. I was curious what I missed out on.

Oh, well, you know me. Not much.

You ready to go home?

Yeah, I'm so ready. I'm exhausted.

Okay. Yeah.

Let's go, then. Yeah.

Yeah,

and I was right, but I mean come on look how cute

George. I never guessed you for a dog person.

Me neither, but I guess I am.

He suits you.

Hi. I'm gonna take a shower, though, and get a little sleep, but I'd like to

take you out tonight.

Okay. Sounds nice.

Hey, you don't mind if I call you George, do you?

It's only for a little while.

You didn't have to wear a suit.

I thought if I looked good, you might go dancing with me after dinner.

Now you dance?

Wow, that must have been some trip. That was incredible.

Look at this.

Wish you were there.

Oh, that looks beautiful.

It was.

I thought a lot about us while I was gone.

And about where we're headed.

I need to know if you want this.

And not out of some obligation to your career or what people might think,

Because you're... You know what's up.

I do.

I really, really do.

You look a lot better since last summer. Oh, man.

You look like a rock.

What are you thinking of? George!

So, are you all turned around on your times?

Oh, yeah, I am. I was so exhausted from the travel.

So, what time is it there now?

Oh,

man. I get so confused.

We're just, uh, we're walking George to teach him how to be on the leash. He

still doesn't love it.

Okay, well, make sure you keep him on a short leash.

So, buddy, stay close by your side.

Sure. You've done a great job with George.

Thank you.

Who's George? It's the dog.

Dog? I thought his name was... George.

Um, because remember you called him King George that one time? Oh, yeah, we did.

You did, yeah.

Jillian treats him like he's the king.

And these dogs have it so good.

Well, on that note, we better get going because I'm going to bake cookies.

You know how to bake? Yeah, Nicole gave me a recipe.

They have some secret ingredient.

Oh, good. Just do it.

All right.

All right, guys, we'll see you later. Okay, bye -bye. Okay, bye.

Come on, George.

Come on, buddy. Oh, look, he's pretty good right now. I woke

up and thought I was dreaming.

Those smell so good.

Mmm.

Mmm.

I was homesick before, but...

This is better than I remember.

I've been thinking.

Maybe an office job wouldn't be such a bad thing.

I'd have a set schedule and I wouldn't have to work weekends.

Spend more time with you.

Wait, wait.

You don't want an office job.

The climbing equipment...

The company has approached me several times. I don't know. Maybe I should give

it a try.

Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to explore your options.

Yeah.

What's the new book about?

Oh, you don't want to talk about that.

No, I do. I do. What is it? A people?

How to pick your third husband?

Do you want to go outside?

Come on, George. I'll take you outside.

Does he do that to you? Do what?

Henry George? Well, it's hard to explain. I'm not really sure myself.

But when Justin walked in and he surprised me, he overheard you ask how

was doing.

Yeah, and?

And then he asked who Henry was.

But I didn't want to tell him I got a dog right away.

Why?

Well, it just, it didn't feel like I should lead in with that after he'd been

gone for so long. And, you know, I just kind of wanted him to think that I was

waiting around.

And then Carla texted and said that he reeked of guilt. And I just...

Honey, I think what she smelled was two days' worth of travel.

Regardless, you thought naming your dog George would help?

Well, I assured him Henry was just a friend.

Henry is not a friend. Henry is your dog.

Well, I know. So when we got home, I couldn't very well tell him that our

name was Henry, so I just called him George. It's no big deal.

Jill, you're the therapist. You don't see something wrong with making your

husband jealous of your dog? Okay, weren't you listening?

It wasn't my intention. It just happened.

Well, besides that, how are things going with Justin?

After dinner, we went dancing.

Justin doesn't like dancing.

I know, I know, and it was his idea.

That's impressive.

I can't even get Aaron to go dancing.

Okay, I have to go because I have a client coming in. No, no, then what

happened? I will talk to you later.

Hey.

You okay?

I'm fine.

You seemed pretty upset at two in the morning.

Sorry about that.

Amy, I want to help you and Derek, but Derek has to want help.

And as long as you try and make everything okay, you are enabling him.

understand?

I'm trying to help him.

You think you have that power?

I want one.

I think I'm going to start trying again.

Are you ready?

Well, we're finally in a really good place.

And Anthony asked you about Henry?

No. No, I told you he'd forget all about it.

Hey, where's Jill?

I wanted to surprise her and give her time for lunch.

Oh, she had an appointment.

Hair and nails. I'll leave a note on her desk.

I'm so jealous.

I want to do that.

Hmm?

Your trip.

Instagram. Oh, yeah. That was great.

But it's nice to be home.

Probably Beth. You came home and you did.

What's wrong with you?

I don't know.

Feeling and faking cookies and wanting to spend time together.

Oh, man, that's rough.

Well, if it's not the same person I left, something happened while I was

Maybe you shouldn't have left.

Do you think I should have reached someone while I was away?

I don't blame her if you haven't left me.

I found a note.

You could have left me a note before you left.

Sorry. I should have told you I was leaving.

All right. Was that so hard?

Look, don't let me just ask Nikki what she knows about Jillian.

No, no. Don't ask Nicole. So tell Jill.

Then man up.

And ask her yourself.

I did.

She said we're friends.

Yeah, that's never good.

Dude, this is not cool. If Nikki finds out I'm here, she's not going to be

happy. We need to do that right.

He's picking him up at 7.

Hurry. I need a password.

Okay, we tried.

Let's go.

Oh, someone's coming.

Wait, I found the notes to her new book. I don't even know what it's about.

We can read it when it comes out. What should we say?

Be cool. We've every right to be here. Okay.

I'll do the talking.

Hey, sorry, office is closed. We're just here fixing computer.

Oh, I just left my glasses here and Ms. James said that she'd meet me.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Sorry, I don't see them.

Oh, it's okay. I'll wait for her.

Oh.

Okay. Right there. Okay.

We're not expecting her anytime soon.

Oh, here it is. Oh, my glasses.

Don't think about Henry.

Me and you.

About me? Why would there be anything about you?

Oh, um, Henry.

Hank's just in the... You're Henry.

And you're being picked up at... Seven?

Oh, what's it say about me?

Oh, you don't want to know.

Yeah, I want to see.

Similarities between training your husband and your puppy? I think these

Nicole's books. She must have borrowed them for George.

No.

They're for us.

We've been trained.

I thought I had problems.

Hey!

Where are you going?

You're not leaving until I figure out what's going on between you and my wife.

Your wife?

Yeah. How long have you been seeing her? Miss James? I don't know. Maybe two or

three months.

And your wife's brilliant.

Justin.

Aaron.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I just stopped by to check out a few things. I just came by to get my

glasses.

In my office?

Yeah, maybe you can help me. Regarding what? I can come back. No, no, no, no,

no.

I'm sorry. Here you go.

I'll see you next week?

Mm -hmm. Oh, you're not leaving?

Not until my wife tells me what's going on with you two. Justin!

I don't know what you're talking about.

No, that's okay. I will clear it up. I'll see you next week.

No, it's okay. I can deal with my own stuff.

Justin!

Good news!

Henry's the dog, not the dude.

Okay, see?

I was going to tell you about that.

Good.

You were going to tell me that I was researched?

To see if I could be trained as well as your dog?

It's not like that. Well, then what's it like, Jill? Because I can't wait to

hear.

Well, I'm researching the social compatibilities and differences between

species.

If you think about it, it's... Okay, I can see why you're confused, but it's

actually really funny.

You let me think there was another guy.

That... was not my fault. That just happened. That was a mistake.

I was a wreck thinking of you with someone else.

I told you he was a friend.

That's not a friend. That's a dog, Jill. Why would you do that?

Okay, when you thought there was someone else, did you... You think you know all

about men, don't you? We're just simple creatures.

We just go around peeing on whatever belongs to us.

Justin, I'm sorry. It was just complete misunderstanding.

attuned to the emotional state of their masters, they express contrition when

the owner is annoyed and the capacity to express affection unconditionally makes

them a valued companion.

Which one of us are you referencing here?

Yeah.

If Henry knew better, he'd be out too.

No, wait, Justin, please, come on, just...

Hey,

Justin, it's me.

Um, I'm sorry.

Can you please call me back?

Can we talk?

Okay. Bye.

You really knocked this one up, huh?

Yeah, you did.

What are we going to do, Henry?

How could you let me do this to him?

You didn't do anything to him. You made him some cookies.

No, I took his manhood.

I turned him into whatever it is that I wanted him to be. You didn't take his

manhood. He's still intact. Would you sit down?

All he wanted was to make me happy.

But you can't make someone happy, right?

I mean, I want him to be happy, but I want to be happy too.

It doesn't matter.

He's broken.

His pride might be a little broken, maybe. That's all.

I'm not eating your cookies.

This has nothing to do with Justin.

Yes, it does. I trained him, and now he's not even Justin anymore. He's...

He's Aaron.

It never had anything to do with Justin or Aaron.

It's about you.

Yes, I know.

It's about what I did to Justin.

You're the one who changed, not Justin.

I can't believe you did this to me.

You're my best friend. You're desperate and you wouldn't take my relationship

advice. That's not true. I asked you and my grandmother.

Yeah, and we both told you and you wouldn't listen.

Okay, just because you have a good marriage doesn't make you an expert in

relationships.

Oh, you're so mad at me. I... Of course he was.

You tried to make him jealous of your dog.

I was afraid that he was cheating on me. I just... I wanted to get his

attention. Well, you got it.

I finally had him back, and now I lost him again.

You didn't lose him.

Give him a little while to blow off some steam.

He'll remember how good they had it.

I'm taking the bed tonight.

It's my bed.

Well, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you.

You've forgotten it was your brilliant wife's idea that started this. Hey, you

can't talk about my wife like that.

Well, maybe you want to sleep in a bed and be treated like a dog, but not me.

You know, it smells here, and not like cookies.

Have you ever tasted Nicole's chocolate chip cookies?

She gave Jillian the recipe.

I think the secret ingredient's a drug.

They were drugging us to get us to do what they wanted.

You should see how Nicole treats our dogs.

Jill won't even drink out of the same glass as me.

But she picks up his poop.

You're actually jealous of your dog for real now.

Yeah, yeah, I know. And I know who's sleeping with Jill every night.

It's George or Henry, whatever his name is.

I don't know if this helps, but 40 % of their dog owners identify their dog as a

family member, meaning they're socially compatible.

No, it doesn't help.

I was treated amazing.

I ran away.

To this.

I want to go home.

Hey, hey, hey, be cool.

You can't just go home.

We have to go on our terms.

Really? Do we?

Because after smelling your feet, I think you should beg Jillian to take you

back.

You may not have any dignity, but I do.

You can hold on to your dignity. I'm going home to my wife and telling her

sorry. What are you sorry for?

It doesn't matter.

Hey, babe.

You look so pretty reading your little book.

I love you.

I'm sorry.

I'm going to sleep in my own bed tonight.

I had it better here than I could ever ask for.

I don't ever want to leave.

Welcome home.

You're gonna have to get them back together.

He's not as domesticated as I am.

There you are.

Boundary, Mom!

You gave me a key.

Yes, for emergency.

You haven't answered the phone in days.

Well, I've been busy.

You look busy.

Things haven't been turning out the way I planned.

What's wrong with me? Nothing's wrong with you.

I thought things were going so well.

No, they weren't.

No, it wasn't. So fix it.

I think it's too late.

Have you forgotten people come to you for advice about relationships?

People all over the world read your books about them.

I can't imagine why.

I mean, my own husband won't even talk to me.

You're going to let that stop you?

I don't know. Maybe you were right.

Maybe I don't need anyone.

I've got Henry.

Why would you listen to me? What do I know?

I just didn't want you to make the same mistakes I did.

You have to make your own mistakes.

Okay, where is my mother and what have you done with her?

I've been doing a bit of soul searching.

I realize what I don't have.

We all want the ever after.

People can change.

You wouldn't do what you do if you didn't believe that.

This isn't coming off.

What are we going to do?

It's been on for like an hour now.

We're going to need a sandblaster.

Probably.

I'm happy for you.

Henry up.

Henry, stand.

Henry, stand.

Well, I guess he's not feeling it today.

Well, this might be a good time to tell you that we found a family for Henry.

They're going to move into a house with a fence and a big backyard.

I mean, I know that you only wanted to keep him until he found a home, so.

Well, they can't have him.

I'm going to keep him.

Well, I already promised him to them. Well, I don't care. I mean, he's mine. I

trained him.

Jill, it's not a big deal.

Well, get another one. It looks just like him. And I'll help you train him.

honestly, it'll probably be better. You can call him whatever you want. George,

Henry, Charles.

Who cares? No, you can't replace him. It's not that easy.

It wouldn't be the same. Look, just tell him that... Get another dog.

Okay, I'll pay them whatever they want.

Look, they don't know him. They wouldn't even know what he likes.

You care that much about him?

Yes.

And you'd do anything to keep him?

Look, I hear that Justin is out with someone named Susan today.

Who's Susan?

I gotta go.

Henry, come on! Come on! Henry, come on!

Sorry, can you give us a moment?

This isn't a good time. You can't not talk to me forever.

Okay. Why did you come down here? I want to explain.

And why were you treating me like a dog?

What do you mean, giving you positive reinforcement?

I mean, spending time with you, baking you cookies.

Exactly.

It wasn't a cold.

Still blaming other people. Justin, wait!

I got a cigar. Okay.

So much. Oh, yeah, no problem.

No, I'll take some.

She's been nice.

She is. Are we done?

Almost.

Look, I want you to know, I... You weren't the one that was being true.

It was me.

I never asked you to change.

I just, I had, I had this fantasy.

What I thought I needed.

And I wasn't it.

It might be too late.

But I choose you.

If I had to do it all over again, I'd choose you.

Your name.

Susan was offering me a job in the legal department.

Be with them?

There's no one I'd rather be with.

My life is better with you than without you.

Even as a dog.

I promise I won't leave you again.

Your second husband?

Yeah. What would he look like?

Oh, he's very handsome.

Oh, yeah.

And he hardly wears a tie, you know.

I can't.

Who got a jacket?

Um, eh.

That's what I thought.

You have to get one thing straight.

What?

We caught him, George.

We call him Henry.

Well, I'm so excited to have her back in studio. It's Jillian James, and her new

book is called How to Pick Your Second Husband, Get This First.

Jillian, thank you. And you know what? I'm excited to hear, how did you come up

with this? Well, if you read the first one, this is all new material I found

through a personal experience, and I can't wait to share it with my readers.

You blew my mind. I did read your first book, and I will tell you what's in

here. This book is going to change people's lives. Am I right? That's the

It's not always about who you choose, so choosing someone new isn't necessarily

going to be the best answer.

Well, but in your previous book, you did say that women are often smarter when

they're picking their second husband. True, not true?

Well, it might be true. And if we treated our first husband the way we

treat our second and decided to hold on through the bumps, it might just be the

best decision for a lot of us. Well, for so many considering divorce, I'll tell

you what, that might sting a little bit.

I know, but...

The truth always does.

Jillian, thank you so much for being here, and I can't wait to see what's

for you. Oh, thank you so much for having me. Oh, you were great.

Everything's exactly the same.

No, it's not.

We have three kids.

Oh, it's entirely different.

You think dogs have a good? Wait until you have kids. You get moved to the

bottom of the ladder.

The kid, the dog, and me. Nobody cares that you're on the bottom. All they want

to know about is whether I gave away Jillian Justin's beloved Henry.

Did you? No.

There were no owners.

I made it up.

You are awful.

I got them back together.

That's right.

Uh -huh.

Aw.

So, we've expanded our family.

And Jill's using puppy therapy in her sessions now. Yes, these little guys

us focus on the relevant issues rather than fear and anger.

And Jill even comes with me a couple times a year on my expeditions.

It's always an adventure.

I taught her how to jump once in a while.

She taught me how to say.

Okay, stop. That's not funny.

It's funny. Come on.

Oh.

Don't worry about me.

I'll be just fine.

I know you're gone, but no.

So long, you'll be back someday, I know that's a story

But if you never stop smiling,

I'll never start moving on

First

there may be a struggle to get back on your feet No matter what you believe, we

all share the same basic needs.

We all want to be loved.

We all want to be loved by someone or somebody.

So take your feelings and set them free.

Someone else will pick them up and put them where they're supposed to be.

The promised vow deal.