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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:33,965 Aah! 2 00:00:42,206 --> 00:00:44,137 Sorry. Can we cut? 3 00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:45,343 Can we cut? 4 00:00:45,344 --> 00:00:47,481 Cut! 5 00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,723 Hey! Hey. Hey, Paige. 6 00:00:49,724 --> 00:00:51,274 Hey, are you okay? You okay? - Yeah. 7 00:00:51,275 --> 00:00:53,136 Oh, man, I thought this might be too triggering. 8 00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:54,792 If you need time, you just say the word, I-- 9 00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:56,862 No, no. I'm fine. Really. 10 00:00:56,965 --> 00:01:00,067 - Are you sure? - Yeah. No, not right now, please. Thank you. 11 00:01:00,068 --> 00:01:03,586 Then what is it? Tell me anything. 12 00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:06,275 I guess I just don't fully understand 13 00:01:06,379 --> 00:01:08,931 why Caitlin is standing here waiting to die. 14 00:01:09,034 --> 00:01:12,379 Okay, okay, but she doesn't die. 15 00:01:12,482 --> 00:01:13,757 She doesn't die, right? 16 00:01:13,758 --> 00:01:15,896 Uh, Emma jumps out at the last second, 17 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,757 distracting Baphomet and-- - Right. That's my point. 18 00:01:18,758 --> 00:01:19,964 Caitlin doesn't save herself here. 19 00:01:19,965 --> 00:01:21,723 Caitlin always saves herself. 20 00:01:21,724 --> 00:01:23,309 And after what I've been through, 21 00:01:23,310 --> 00:01:25,136 the last thing I would do in her situation 22 00:01:25,137 --> 00:01:27,896 is wait for someone else to save me. 23 00:01:31,241 --> 00:01:34,343 Someone get those writers on set to fix this mess! 24 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:37,103 Of course Caitlin should be saving herself. Duh. 25 00:01:37,206 --> 00:01:39,379 Thank you. This is why you're the queen. 26 00:01:39,827 --> 00:01:41,862 - Thank you. -Thank you. 27 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,793 What? 28 00:01:55,689 --> 00:01:58,103 It's a reboot. There's no rules. 29 00:01:58,206 --> 00:02:00,275 And you're not the star of it all. 30 00:02:00,655 --> 00:02:02,274 You sure about that? 31 00:02:02,275 --> 00:02:03,964 It's not gonna be a problem. The line comes right here. 32 00:02:03,965 --> 00:02:05,586 No, leave that out. This is what we're doing. 33 00:02:05,689 --> 00:02:07,275 Hey, and do me a favor, okay? 34 00:02:07,379 --> 00:02:09,344 On the next take, why don't you give me something to work with? 35 00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:12,723 Hold it... 36 00:02:12,724 --> 00:02:14,482 ...like you could actually kill someone. 37 00:02:16,275 --> 00:02:19,517 Thank you. Can't wait to do it again. 38 00:02:28,275 --> 00:02:30,930 - "Emma, stay back." - "Caitlin, I can take him." 39 00:02:30,931 --> 00:02:32,655 "And then he'll take you. 40 00:02:32,758 --> 00:02:34,758 I've danced this dance more times than I care to remember." 41 00:02:36,137 --> 00:02:39,482 Sorry, I-- I'm not shitting on the writers. 42 00:02:39,586 --> 00:02:40,896 No, shit on them. They're garbage. 43 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,137 Studio scraped the bottom of the barrel. 44 00:02:43,241 --> 00:02:47,206 Okay, "I've danced this dance?" Who actually talks like that? 45 00:02:47,310 --> 00:02:50,724 Just a corny white guy who's over 50, apparently. 46 00:02:50,827 --> 00:02:54,379 Exactly. So can we simplify it? 47 00:02:54,482 --> 00:02:55,862 - Yeah. - Like-- 48 00:02:56,586 --> 00:03:00,965 Okay, what if she says, "And then he'll take you. 49 00:03:01,068 --> 00:03:02,550 Trust me, Emma, I know what I'm doing." 50 00:03:02,551 --> 00:03:03,965 - Mm-hm. - Right? 51 00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:05,965 Yeah. No, that's a million times better. 52 00:03:06,068 --> 00:03:07,447 - Straight to the point. - Right? 53 00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:08,931 'Cause, I mean, that's what it's actually like 54 00:03:09,034 --> 00:03:10,275 when your life is on the line. 55 00:03:11,551 --> 00:03:13,964 Sorry. If-- if I'm being a diva, expecting rewrites-- 56 00:03:13,965 --> 00:03:15,620 - Oh my God, no, no. - I don't wanna be a problem. 57 00:03:15,724 --> 00:03:16,965 - Not at all. No. - Okay. 58 00:03:17,068 --> 00:03:18,619 No, no, we are so lucky to have you. 59 00:03:18,620 --> 00:03:20,103 No, I just-- 60 00:03:23,068 --> 00:03:26,724 I wanted to respect your privacy, 61 00:03:26,827 --> 00:03:31,103 but we can actually make this mean something. 62 00:03:31,206 --> 00:03:32,896 Okay? Because you have first hand knowledge 63 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,103 of what it's really like, that fear, that panic, 64 00:03:36,206 --> 00:03:38,861 that real life hell. You can mine things 65 00:03:38,862 --> 00:03:41,103 every other slasher pretendsto get. 66 00:03:41,206 --> 00:03:43,379 So, no, I needto hear your thoughts. 67 00:03:46,551 --> 00:03:49,724 I'm sorry. I should not have asked you to go into that. 68 00:03:49,827 --> 00:03:51,827 No, no, it's not that, it's not-- 69 00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:55,826 I've just never had a director make me feel 70 00:03:55,827 --> 00:03:58,068 like an equal before. - Oh. 71 00:03:58,172 --> 00:03:58,896 And-- 72 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,551 and not just a pretty face 73 00:04:00,655 --> 00:04:02,068 and a pair of tits, you know? 74 00:04:02,172 --> 00:04:04,206 Well, that's a crime. I've always been a fan. 75 00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,689 I pitched you for the reboot from day one. 76 00:04:06,793 --> 00:04:09,067 Okay? - Wow. Well... 77 00:04:09,068 --> 00:04:10,896 Guess all it took for them to say yes 78 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,896 was for me to become a final girl for real. 79 00:04:14,793 --> 00:04:16,000 These just arrived for you, Paige. 80 00:04:16,103 --> 00:04:17,585 - Oh! - Thank you so much. 81 00:04:17,586 --> 00:04:19,965 These are beautiful. 82 00:04:20,068 --> 00:04:20,999 - Yeah. - Did you...? 83 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,448 No, I didn't. 84 00:04:24,448 --> 00:04:26,826 "Saw the news. Break a leg, but not really. 85 00:04:26,827 --> 00:04:30,172 You've got enough scars already. Andy." 86 00:04:30,275 --> 00:04:33,964 Andy. From...? 87 00:04:33,965 --> 00:04:36,275 Okay, Andy! 88 00:04:36,379 --> 00:04:38,896 - Very sweet of him. - Mm-hm! 89 00:04:44,965 --> 00:04:48,137 So, you can trace a straight line 90 00:04:48,241 --> 00:04:50,517 from the comedies of Euripides 91 00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:54,689 right up to the slapstick of Chaplin, Keaton, and Arbuckle. 92 00:04:54,931 --> 00:04:57,103 But-- where is it now? 93 00:04:57,206 --> 00:04:58,827 It's, uh, changed genres. 94 00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:01,310 Action movies, for sure. 95 00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:03,136 I like this. Tell me how. 96 00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,585 Well it's all violence, right? 97 00:05:04,586 --> 00:05:07,310 Like comedians, just guys hitting each other. 98 00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:09,688 Hmm. Yeah. And in the silents, they-- 99 00:05:09,689 --> 00:05:11,448 They crank it up. 100 00:05:11,551 --> 00:05:14,965 Chaplin stabbing people with, like, the nastiest pitchforks 101 00:05:15,068 --> 00:05:16,620 and following it up with one liners 102 00:05:16,724 --> 00:05:19,378 like action heroes do. 103 00:05:19,379 --> 00:05:21,482 Good. Great lateral thinking. 104 00:05:21,793 --> 00:05:23,413 And then we get to horror. 105 00:05:24,172 --> 00:05:26,000 - You're cri de coeur. - Yeah. 106 00:05:26,103 --> 00:05:29,723 But, like, the final girls say the same thing 107 00:05:29,724 --> 00:05:31,241 when they kill the masked killer 108 00:05:31,344 --> 00:05:32,827 or when the dickhead gets taken down. 109 00:05:32,931 --> 00:05:34,102 Yes, you've said this all before, 110 00:05:34,103 --> 00:05:36,481 but weare here to talk comedy. 111 00:05:36,482 --> 00:05:41,586 But, Professor, we are here for your horror knowledge, sir. 112 00:05:43,206 --> 00:05:44,517 Well, I'm sure you could all transfer out 113 00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:46,103 if I'm not matching your expectations. 114 00:05:46,206 --> 00:05:48,517 What? You are an expert in horror 115 00:05:48,620 --> 00:05:50,000 in academia and real life. 116 00:05:50,103 --> 00:05:52,310 Why are you pretending like that's not true? 117 00:05:53,206 --> 00:05:54,585 What do you want? Hmm? 118 00:05:54,586 --> 00:05:57,482 - What do you mean? - No, what do you want? Hm? 119 00:05:57,586 --> 00:05:59,274 You obsessive idiot. 120 00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:01,310 What do you want, a goddamn autograph? 121 00:06:01,413 --> 00:06:03,724 What, you want some grisly tidbit to-- 122 00:06:03,827 --> 00:06:05,585 to feed into your death fetish? 123 00:06:05,586 --> 00:06:10,619 Because humanity's saddest and worst instinct excites you? 124 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,137 is that what you want? 125 00:06:15,827 --> 00:06:17,413 Hey, that's mine! 126 00:06:19,241 --> 00:06:20,827 All right. Get out, everyone. 127 00:06:21,344 --> 00:06:22,620 We're done for the day. 128 00:06:23,206 --> 00:06:26,000 I will be speaking to the head of English about this. 129 00:06:28,965 --> 00:06:30,481 Asshole. 130 00:06:54,344 --> 00:06:56,724 Hi, Andy. Come in. 131 00:06:56,827 --> 00:07:00,103 - For the hostess. - Thank you so much. 132 00:07:01,310 --> 00:07:02,757 Can I take your coat? 133 00:07:02,758 --> 00:07:04,275 Uh, sure. Thanks. 134 00:07:07,517 --> 00:07:08,724 - Look, sorry-- - So, listen-- 135 00:07:08,827 --> 00:07:10,206 Sending those flowers was weird. 136 00:07:10,310 --> 00:07:11,655 I know I should have reached out before now. 137 00:07:11,758 --> 00:07:14,000 Okay. Sorry. Can I start? Please? 138 00:07:14,241 --> 00:07:15,344 Yeah. 139 00:07:17,413 --> 00:07:19,378 I'm the asshole here. 140 00:07:19,379 --> 00:07:21,378 And you weren't weird at all. 141 00:07:21,379 --> 00:07:22,862 You are not an asshole. 142 00:07:23,827 --> 00:07:25,379 Sending those flowers was so thoughtful, 143 00:07:25,482 --> 00:07:28,102 and I could say that I was just so busy with the movie 144 00:07:28,103 --> 00:07:30,930 that I forgot to say thank you, but I just-- 145 00:07:30,931 --> 00:07:33,482 I get it. I mean, you just wanted to put it behind you. 146 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,517 That might sound more believable 147 00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:37,517 if I wasn't playing Caitlin again. 148 00:07:37,620 --> 00:07:39,724 Hey, it's your job. There's no judgment. 149 00:07:40,172 --> 00:07:42,861 Maybe a little judgment? Maybe? 150 00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:44,895 It's fine. It's natural. 151 00:07:44,896 --> 00:07:46,895 We all have to make a living. 152 00:07:46,896 --> 00:07:48,068 Yeah. 153 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,895 Anyways, um, we wrapped a few months ago, 154 00:07:52,896 --> 00:07:55,620 and there's actually a screening tomorrow night. 155 00:07:55,965 --> 00:07:56,757 Oh. 156 00:07:56,758 --> 00:07:59,000 And instead of avoiding you, 157 00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:03,481 I thought not only do I want to say thank you for the flowers 158 00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:06,826 with dinner and reconnect, but I thought you probably saw 159 00:08:06,827 --> 00:08:08,171 that the premiere is coming up 160 00:08:08,172 --> 00:08:09,827 as part of the Spinechiller showcase. 161 00:08:09,931 --> 00:08:11,688 My algorithms wouldn't let me forget. 162 00:08:11,689 --> 00:08:14,482 Yeah, well. It's your part of the news cycle. 163 00:08:14,931 --> 00:08:16,379 Good luck escaping it. 164 00:08:18,344 --> 00:08:20,171 And I thought... 165 00:08:20,172 --> 00:08:23,068 Maybe you want to come with me as my date. 166 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,758 And-- and look, I promise it's nothing crazy, okay? 167 00:08:25,862 --> 00:08:30,412 I swear, there's no red carpet. It's just a genre critic sneak peek 168 00:08:30,413 --> 00:08:31,930 at a small venue, and-- 169 00:08:31,931 --> 00:08:33,654 and I would really love you to see it with me. 170 00:08:33,655 --> 00:08:36,620 I think you'd really appreciate what the filmmaker's done here. 171 00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:38,413 I really do. I mean it. 172 00:08:39,413 --> 00:08:42,205 Yeah, he's taken a lot of my input, and... 173 00:08:42,206 --> 00:08:45,172 it's more than just your standard slasher flick. 174 00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:48,793 It is. - Uh, can I-- 175 00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:51,103 Can I think on it? - Yeah. 176 00:08:52,206 --> 00:08:54,689 You can even say no, and I'd understand. 177 00:08:56,724 --> 00:08:58,931 Oh, shit. The stove. One sec. 178 00:09:00,482 --> 00:09:03,757 Uh, can I help? 179 00:09:03,758 --> 00:09:05,757 No, no, no. Um, you know what? 180 00:09:05,758 --> 00:09:08,206 Just open the wine, the glasses and the opener are on the credenza. 181 00:09:12,241 --> 00:09:15,034 Yeah. Subtle's never been a word 182 00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:16,723 to describe the "Doomed Service" merch. 183 00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:18,309 You could kill someone with this. 184 00:09:18,310 --> 00:09:22,103 And Caitlin did in "Doomed Service 3: Peephole." 185 00:09:23,206 --> 00:09:26,172 I hope you like stir fry. I was supposed to be beef stew, 186 00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:27,931 but I waited too long to start cooking 187 00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:29,793 and I didn't want to serve you shoe leather. 188 00:09:29,896 --> 00:09:32,067 Uh, you know, we could have ordered in. 189 00:09:32,068 --> 00:09:34,826 Still can, if this is too much. - No. 190 00:09:34,827 --> 00:09:37,655 You and I need something extra normal. 191 00:09:37,758 --> 00:09:39,343 And cooking really chills me out. 192 00:09:39,344 --> 00:09:42,171 - Ah. Cheers. - Cheers. 193 00:09:42,172 --> 00:09:48,205 You know, the way you spoke about "Doomed Service," 194 00:09:48,206 --> 00:09:51,033 I gotta say-- 195 00:09:51,034 --> 00:09:53,412 I didn't expect all this. 196 00:09:53,413 --> 00:09:56,310 Those films were my life since I was a teen. 197 00:09:56,413 --> 00:09:57,826 And now they are again. 198 00:09:57,827 --> 00:10:02,275 Which is, uh-- well, a surprise, 199 00:10:02,379 --> 00:10:03,827 For me, too. 200 00:10:04,827 --> 00:10:07,861 I said no and then I said no again. 201 00:10:07,862 --> 00:10:10,034 And the third time I said no, they promised me 202 00:10:10,137 --> 00:10:12,482 I'd be a part of the entire new trilogy. 203 00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:15,793 - An offer you couldn't refuse. - Yeah. 204 00:10:16,931 --> 00:10:19,172 I want to act. And if they're gonna give me 205 00:10:19,275 --> 00:10:20,895 a say in the kind of stories we tell, 206 00:10:20,896 --> 00:10:24,274 then maybe I just need to embrace it, right? 207 00:10:30,517 --> 00:10:31,758 Don't worry, okay? 208 00:10:31,862 --> 00:10:33,792 What would I have to worry about? 209 00:10:33,793 --> 00:10:35,206 After what we went through? 210 00:10:36,137 --> 00:10:39,379 Oh, well, you and shovels, maybe. 211 00:10:39,896 --> 00:10:43,068 And bathtubs. Don't forget bathtubs. 212 00:10:43,793 --> 00:10:45,965 Oh, how could I forget? 213 00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:54,447 So how about you? How have the past few months been? 214 00:10:54,448 --> 00:10:56,586 And again, I'm sorry that I didn't check in, okay? 215 00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:58,965 Stop apologizing. Seriously. 216 00:10:59,068 --> 00:11:01,931 You know, if there's a correct way to maintain a friendship 217 00:11:02,034 --> 00:11:05,965 forged in the crucible of mass murder, I don't know it. 218 00:11:06,068 --> 00:11:07,620 "Crucible of mass murder." 219 00:11:07,724 --> 00:11:09,585 There is that brain of yours. 220 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,206 Tell me they've given you full tenure. 221 00:11:11,793 --> 00:11:14,448 Ah, well, I would need a PhD for that. 222 00:11:14,551 --> 00:11:16,379 But you specialize in true crime entertainment 223 00:11:16,482 --> 00:11:18,550 or however you put it, and-- 224 00:11:18,551 --> 00:11:21,309 and you're the survivor of the most infamous killing spree 225 00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:22,482 since the Manson murders. 226 00:11:23,103 --> 00:11:26,516 That should at least qualify you for an honorary PhD, 227 00:11:26,517 --> 00:11:28,861 or at the very least, a humongous raise. 228 00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:30,550 - Uh-huh. - Right? 229 00:11:30,551 --> 00:11:33,206 Well, life after Cold River has not been as lucrative for me 230 00:11:33,310 --> 00:11:34,724 as it has for you. 231 00:11:36,413 --> 00:11:39,172 I-I was not trying to shame you with that. 232 00:11:39,275 --> 00:11:40,930 I'm-- I'm glad you're doing well, I just-- 233 00:11:40,931 --> 00:11:44,136 We both deserve some kind of happiness after all that. 234 00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:49,309 It's-- it's just, uh... - What? 235 00:11:49,310 --> 00:11:51,034 You can tell me anything. 236 00:11:52,137 --> 00:11:55,758 Hey, if there's anyone who's gonna get you or me, it's us. 237 00:11:57,793 --> 00:12:00,310 S-sometimes I feel like I'm still there. 238 00:12:02,310 --> 00:12:04,413 Like something's unresolved. 239 00:12:06,137 --> 00:12:07,793 Do you ever feel like that? 240 00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:10,620 No. 241 00:12:10,724 --> 00:12:13,240 Just like-- what if we missed something? 242 00:12:13,241 --> 00:12:15,034 Like? 243 00:12:15,137 --> 00:12:16,551 I don't know, Floyd and Shirley. 244 00:12:16,965 --> 00:12:19,205 How do we know for sure it was them? 245 00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:20,792 Because they killed everyone 246 00:12:20,793 --> 00:12:22,033 in that exact same spot 30 years ago. 247 00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:23,931 Yes, 30 years ago, 248 00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:27,930 when they were younger and stronger and-- Kawayan, 249 00:12:27,931 --> 00:12:30,586 he-- he was a big guy, okay? 250 00:12:30,689 --> 00:12:32,379 He could take care of himself. 251 00:12:32,482 --> 00:12:34,310 You honestly believe that Floyd got the better of him? 252 00:12:34,413 --> 00:12:35,551 Well, maybe it wasn't Floyd. 253 00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:39,241 What, Shirley? That's even more unlikely. 254 00:12:39,586 --> 00:12:41,000 Not if he didn't see it coming 255 00:12:41,103 --> 00:12:42,274 and he wouldn't have. 256 00:12:42,275 --> 00:12:43,862 Shirley pretended to be so nice. 257 00:12:43,965 --> 00:12:45,723 She got so close to me, 258 00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,517 and one stab in the neck is all it would have taken. 259 00:12:49,586 --> 00:12:52,482 Hey, listen, if we'd missed anything, 260 00:12:52,586 --> 00:12:54,034 the police would have found it by now. 261 00:12:54,689 --> 00:12:56,482 Unless they weren't looking. 262 00:12:57,034 --> 00:12:58,344 And why would they? 263 00:12:58,448 --> 00:13:00,448 Floyd and Shirley, they tick all the boxes. 264 00:13:00,551 --> 00:13:02,655 It's easy. It shuts it down. 265 00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:05,620 They tick all the boxes because they're guilty. 266 00:13:05,724 --> 00:13:10,103 Not you, not me, not some stranger in the woods. Them. 267 00:13:12,206 --> 00:13:13,517 Okay, you know what? Let's-- 268 00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:15,274 let's go through all the murders. 269 00:13:15,275 --> 00:13:18,275 Okay? Hemmingway. 270 00:13:18,379 --> 00:13:19,619 They could have easily been the ones 271 00:13:19,620 --> 00:13:21,343 to boil him to death in the sauna. 272 00:13:21,344 --> 00:13:22,758 Are you sure? I mean, they'd just arrived. 273 00:13:23,241 --> 00:13:24,758 Yeah, but they'd already been there an hour by then, 274 00:13:24,862 --> 00:13:27,862 and they knew the hotel's layout. 275 00:13:27,965 --> 00:13:30,620 Portia and Crow, Anyone could have killed them. 276 00:13:30,724 --> 00:13:31,895 Floyd. 277 00:13:31,896 --> 00:13:34,447 He took part in killing Ruby, and he loved it. 278 00:13:34,448 --> 00:13:36,205 Kawayan, I still think it was Shirley 279 00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:37,448 the way she was sucking up to him. 280 00:13:38,172 --> 00:13:39,896 And Adriana, we were all in our separate rooms 281 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,206 when she died, so they could have snuck out unnoticed easily. 282 00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:45,654 And when Blake was killed, same thing. 283 00:13:45,655 --> 00:13:48,689 Not to mention I found Floyd and Shirley the next morning, 284 00:13:48,793 --> 00:13:50,310 surrounded by the poor guy's remains. 285 00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:52,619 And the cherry on top? They tried to frame you. 286 00:13:52,620 --> 00:13:54,724 Well, they did a pretty good job of that. 287 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,343 Andy, listen-- 288 00:13:57,344 --> 00:14:01,965 what you're feeling is not doubt. It's trauma. 289 00:14:02,862 --> 00:14:05,172 We lived in a fearful state for days. 290 00:14:05,275 --> 00:14:08,655 Trapped, while we watched people die horrible deaths. 291 00:14:08,758 --> 00:14:12,172 - You've-- you seem fine. - Don't believe it. 292 00:14:12,827 --> 00:14:14,344 I've been keeping busy. 293 00:14:14,965 --> 00:14:17,241 And the movie will keep me busy until we're out in theaters. 294 00:14:18,103 --> 00:14:20,034 And then maybe I'll fall apart after that. 295 00:14:20,551 --> 00:14:23,103 Or maybe I won't. Ever. Who knows? 296 00:14:25,034 --> 00:14:27,965 I do feel a strange victory over those two, though. 297 00:14:29,310 --> 00:14:30,620 And if the killer had gotten away-- 298 00:14:30,724 --> 00:14:33,033 Well, that-- that's my worry. Always. 299 00:14:33,034 --> 00:14:35,241 Then I would be looking out the window all the time. 300 00:14:35,448 --> 00:14:37,241 But-- but we did it, Andy. 301 00:14:37,758 --> 00:14:39,758 We put those two assholes in the ground. 302 00:14:39,862 --> 00:14:42,654 So please, please try and be happy, okay? 303 00:14:42,655 --> 00:14:44,517 Try and be happy about everything we have 304 00:14:44,620 --> 00:14:46,172 that we feared we'd lose. 305 00:14:47,551 --> 00:14:49,793 We owe that to the rest of them. 306 00:14:50,241 --> 00:14:51,586 Right? 307 00:14:53,551 --> 00:14:56,517 Right. Yeah. You're right. 308 00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:05,964 Something's still bothering you. 309 00:15:05,965 --> 00:15:07,965 Hey, there's no secrets between us. 310 00:15:08,724 --> 00:15:10,827 You kept me sane, and you didn't have to, 311 00:15:10,931 --> 00:15:13,482 so please let me help you. 312 00:15:17,586 --> 00:15:21,206 I just want to preface this by saying, 313 00:15:21,310 --> 00:15:24,102 I know people do things that don't make sense. 314 00:15:24,103 --> 00:15:26,448 Yeah, obviously. I mean, I almost took a bath 315 00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:29,067 with a crazy lady I didn't know, so... 316 00:15:29,068 --> 00:15:31,551 Come on, what's the question? 317 00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:34,206 Okay, fine. 318 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,068 The drop down ceiling in your room-- 319 00:15:38,172 --> 00:15:41,103 after Floyd and Shirley, before the police arrived. 320 00:15:42,034 --> 00:15:45,655 I saw a stain. It was a blood stain. 321 00:15:47,517 --> 00:15:49,000 And? 322 00:15:49,586 --> 00:15:52,758 I looked behind the ceiling tile, and I-- 323 00:15:56,034 --> 00:15:57,655 I found a heart. 324 00:15:58,517 --> 00:16:01,827 - What? - Portia's, I guess. 325 00:16:02,827 --> 00:16:05,517 Like you'd hidden it as some sort of trophy or something. 326 00:16:05,620 --> 00:16:08,344 I have no idea what you're talking about. 327 00:16:08,448 --> 00:16:11,205 I saw with my own eyes, Paige. 328 00:16:11,206 --> 00:16:14,792 Okay? So denying it-- you can't because I know what I saw. 329 00:16:14,793 --> 00:16:18,619 Well, I know what I didn't hide in my goddamn ceiling, Andy. 330 00:16:18,620 --> 00:16:19,999 Come on. 331 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,033 I mean, could Adriana have done it? 332 00:16:22,034 --> 00:16:23,551 Maybe. Or-- 333 00:16:23,655 --> 00:16:26,171 Crow as some kind of, like, wacky magic thing. 334 00:16:26,172 --> 00:16:28,275 But-- but me? - Then why was it there? 335 00:16:28,379 --> 00:16:30,723 And how did it get there? I didn't put it there. 336 00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:32,067 Portia definitely didn't. 337 00:16:32,068 --> 00:16:33,585 But Floyd and Shirley, 338 00:16:33,586 --> 00:16:35,793 maybe it was some kind of ritual thing, or... 339 00:16:37,448 --> 00:16:41,067 Or maybe the same way that they hid that book in your room, 340 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:45,068 they hid Portia's heart in mine so that they could frame me 341 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,172 if framing you didn't pan out. 342 00:16:50,827 --> 00:16:52,172 Oh. 343 00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:59,586 Of course. Yeah. 344 00:17:00,793 --> 00:17:02,585 Framing me actually makes a lot of sense, yeah. 345 00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:04,792 God, I am so-- 346 00:17:04,793 --> 00:17:06,206 You're right. I'm so sorry. 347 00:17:06,310 --> 00:17:07,895 So you thought I was collecting body parts 348 00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:09,343 like a serial killer, 349 00:17:09,344 --> 00:17:10,964 and you still came to meet me for dinner? 350 00:17:10,965 --> 00:17:12,585 Honestly, I didn't know what to think. 351 00:17:12,586 --> 00:17:14,172 Why-- why didn't you go to the police with this? 352 00:17:14,275 --> 00:17:15,895 - I couldn't. - Why-- if you thought I was 353 00:17:15,896 --> 00:17:17,930 some sick psychopath? - Because. 354 00:17:17,931 --> 00:17:20,689 - Why? - I knew I had to protect you. 355 00:17:28,931 --> 00:17:31,413 Even if I put it there? 356 00:17:32,862 --> 00:17:34,655 Even if I was the real killer? 357 00:17:37,172 --> 00:17:38,620 Even then. 358 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,344 Remember that limo ride up? 359 00:18:36,896 --> 00:18:40,033 The hearse? Yeah, it's hard to forget. 360 00:18:40,034 --> 00:18:44,689 It was so ridiculously over the top. 361 00:18:46,586 --> 00:18:49,206 Arriving at that stupid motel, I-- 362 00:18:49,827 --> 00:18:51,758 I hated it. 363 00:18:52,413 --> 00:18:55,655 I hated myself, I hated how I caved for the money. 364 00:18:56,137 --> 00:18:58,034 Yeah, how much did they pay you, anyway? 365 00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,481 - Not enough. - Oh. 366 00:18:59,482 --> 00:19:01,965 I needed it, trust me. 367 00:19:03,448 --> 00:19:08,757 Everyone else was just so weird and-- pleasant 368 00:19:08,758 --> 00:19:11,723 and self-involved... - And opportunistic. 369 00:19:11,724 --> 00:19:13,136 And we weren't? 370 00:19:13,137 --> 00:19:14,655 But we were different. 371 00:19:15,620 --> 00:19:19,793 I was there for research, and, despite your pay day, 372 00:19:19,896 --> 00:19:22,931 you seemed to be there to atone for your part in things. 373 00:19:23,689 --> 00:19:25,827 That's a way of putting it, I guess. Maybe. 374 00:19:27,137 --> 00:19:29,034 It ended up that way, in the end. 375 00:19:29,551 --> 00:19:31,482 Maybe that's why we survived. 376 00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:34,620 'Cause we didn't deserve to be killed. 377 00:19:37,206 --> 00:19:38,931 There's no moral code. 378 00:19:39,689 --> 00:19:42,895 We survived because we worked together 379 00:19:42,896 --> 00:19:44,551 and we beat those psychos. 380 00:19:44,931 --> 00:19:46,758 if they'd killed you, I don't know what I'd do. 381 00:19:46,862 --> 00:19:48,793 Well, you wouldn't be doing this, that's for sure. 382 00:19:50,241 --> 00:19:52,344 True. 383 00:19:52,448 --> 00:19:53,896 What's that they say about the connection 384 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:57,275 between death and sex? - No, this is different. 385 00:19:58,827 --> 00:20:00,412 I'm glad I found you. 386 00:20:00,413 --> 00:20:02,275 Glad I found you, too. 387 00:20:09,034 --> 00:20:11,309 So, tonight-- 388 00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:13,448 You never gave me an answer. 389 00:20:13,551 --> 00:20:16,516 I mean, I'm kind of a completionist, 390 00:20:16,517 --> 00:20:18,274 and I have seen all the other movies. 391 00:20:18,275 --> 00:20:20,724 Yay! Okay. 392 00:20:20,827 --> 00:20:22,724 Now, okay, if you get freaked out, 393 00:20:22,827 --> 00:20:24,448 all you have to remember is that the blood 394 00:20:24,551 --> 00:20:26,930 is just food coloring and corn syrup. 395 00:20:26,931 --> 00:20:28,793 And all the knives are made out of rubber, okay? 396 00:20:29,551 --> 00:20:31,862 Can you, uh, tell me what I'm in store for, 397 00:20:31,965 --> 00:20:33,757 at least, plot wise? I mean, they're gonna 398 00:20:33,758 --> 00:20:36,103 incorporate Floyd and Shirley, right? 399 00:20:36,448 --> 00:20:39,689 And if you're still alive, let me guess... 400 00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:42,344 After being murdered in the last movie, 401 00:20:42,448 --> 00:20:46,689 Caitlin is brought back by some kind of spell. 402 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:50,551 And so now she has her own supernatural powers. 403 00:20:50,655 --> 00:20:53,343 The perfect match against Baphomet. 404 00:20:53,344 --> 00:20:55,586 And since it's a trilogy, 405 00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:58,620 it appears like she vanquishes Baphomet. 406 00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:02,896 Except right at the end, he lurches up, alive again. 407 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,688 I'm close, right? 408 00:21:05,689 --> 00:21:07,619 No. Not even! 409 00:21:07,620 --> 00:21:09,551 Are you sure you want me to spoil it? - Yes. 410 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,655 Okay. So, first off, only "Doomed Service" 411 00:21:12,758 --> 00:21:14,241 I and II are considered canon now. 412 00:21:14,344 --> 00:21:15,792 Everything after them never happened. 413 00:21:15,793 --> 00:21:18,586 So this is really more like a new "DS3" 414 00:21:18,689 --> 00:21:21,516 and Caitlin is just still alive. 415 00:21:21,517 --> 00:21:22,999 I hate that. That's-- 416 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,412 No, that's such a disservice to the franchise. 417 00:21:25,413 --> 00:21:26,999 Says the guy crapping all over them. 418 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,758 No, I only took issue with the real life aspects 419 00:21:29,862 --> 00:21:31,068 they distorted. 420 00:21:31,482 --> 00:21:33,309 Movies themselves are actually kind of fun. 421 00:21:33,310 --> 00:21:36,344 Okay, can I get that on record? 422 00:21:36,448 --> 00:21:38,723 Hello?! They're supposed to be fun. 423 00:21:38,724 --> 00:21:40,724 But I guess all those endless sequels 424 00:21:40,827 --> 00:21:42,620 weren't exactly cinematic gems. 425 00:21:42,724 --> 00:21:44,861 No, but they have their charms. 426 00:21:44,862 --> 00:21:47,655 So this must take place years later, then. 427 00:21:48,068 --> 00:21:51,206 Yeah. And since it's a reboot and not just a sequel, 428 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,068 and this is what really sold me, 429 00:21:53,172 --> 00:21:56,448 we discovered that Caitlin actually has a daughter. 430 00:21:57,517 --> 00:21:59,896 Someone young and hot to draw in all the fanboys. 431 00:22:00,413 --> 00:22:02,172 The real Caitlin didn't have a daughter. 432 00:22:02,275 --> 00:22:04,241 No, but everyone loves a final girl. 433 00:22:04,344 --> 00:22:05,586 Now they have two. 434 00:22:06,068 --> 00:22:07,586 And if that wasn't enough, we discover that Baphomet 435 00:22:07,689 --> 00:22:10,689 is actually Caitlin's first husband. 436 00:22:10,793 --> 00:22:12,964 She really broke his heart when she left him for that Joey dude. 437 00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:16,585 Okay, but the ex-husband in real life was cleared. 438 00:22:16,586 --> 00:22:19,137 I mean, not after being hounded into an early grave... 439 00:22:19,241 --> 00:22:20,758 Well, this ain't real life. 440 00:22:20,862 --> 00:22:23,619 And in our movie, he is alive and back for revenge. 441 00:22:23,620 --> 00:22:26,275 I really have to hand it to the team. 442 00:22:26,379 --> 00:22:27,619 Clutches at the heartstrings. 443 00:22:27,620 --> 00:22:29,343 No, clutches at the purse strings. 444 00:22:29,344 --> 00:22:32,724 I can't believe they're mining a horrible tragedy all over again. 445 00:22:33,482 --> 00:22:36,965 Andy, just watch it tonight, okay? 446 00:22:37,068 --> 00:22:38,482 See what you think. 447 00:22:38,586 --> 00:22:39,757 'Cause if it does well, 448 00:22:39,758 --> 00:22:41,723 critically and at the box office, 449 00:22:41,724 --> 00:22:44,241 this could mean an entirely revived career for me. 450 00:22:45,172 --> 00:22:47,827 I could get some amazing parts and put Caitlin behind me, 451 00:22:47,931 --> 00:22:50,206 and everything that we went through would have almost been-- 452 00:22:50,310 --> 00:22:51,931 Worth it? 453 00:22:56,448 --> 00:22:58,655 Why don't we grab some sleep, okay? 454 00:22:59,241 --> 00:23:00,931 It's gonna be a long night. 455 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,413 From Nick and Sam at Shudder to David at Hollywood Suite, 456 00:23:16,517 --> 00:23:19,550 we all knew the only way we could make 457 00:23:19,551 --> 00:23:22,413 the new "Doomed Service" slay was if we stuck to 458 00:23:22,517 --> 00:23:25,930 the OG history of the crazy murders 459 00:23:25,931 --> 00:23:28,758 that made these movies what they are. 460 00:23:29,103 --> 00:23:32,275 And that is the bloodiest, 461 00:23:32,379 --> 00:23:35,862 raunchiest horror sleaze flicks around! 462 00:23:35,965 --> 00:23:36,896 Yasss! 463 00:23:43,655 --> 00:23:47,172 So-- do you really want that gross out gore, 464 00:23:47,275 --> 00:23:52,034 that crazy violence, and that yummy tingle down there? 465 00:23:52,137 --> 00:23:53,999 I know you do. 466 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,895 Then you got to cast someone who can run in a G-string and heels 467 00:23:56,896 --> 00:23:58,896 and strut blood like a second skin. 468 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:04,171 Yeah, I'm talking about a gal who is always too hot to die, 469 00:24:04,172 --> 00:24:07,068 the number one sleaze queen in the world-- 470 00:24:07,793 --> 00:24:09,792 Paige Harper. 471 00:24:12,344 --> 00:24:14,827 - Thank you. -I love you! 472 00:24:14,931 --> 00:24:16,517 I love you! 473 00:24:17,724 --> 00:24:19,654 Thank you guys so much for being here. 474 00:24:19,655 --> 00:24:20,930 - Thank you, Aaron. - Yeah! 475 00:24:20,931 --> 00:24:22,344 I'm really glad my mom's not here 476 00:24:22,448 --> 00:24:25,723 to hear me described like that. 477 00:24:25,724 --> 00:24:29,516 I know you all know that I had to take a little break. 478 00:24:29,517 --> 00:24:31,619 A chance to sit a "Doomed Service" out. 479 00:24:31,620 --> 00:24:33,965 There was only so much blood this gal could have gushed on her. 480 00:24:37,413 --> 00:24:41,654 But after I lived through the real Cold River massacre, 481 00:24:41,655 --> 00:24:42,930 I realized something. 482 00:24:42,931 --> 00:24:45,724 I am Caitlin. 483 00:24:46,103 --> 00:24:47,448 No, no, I'm better. 484 00:24:47,551 --> 00:24:49,067 Because this mama didn't die. 485 00:24:49,068 --> 00:24:50,172 Oh, yeah! 486 00:24:50,275 --> 00:24:51,620 And armed with that experience, 487 00:24:51,724 --> 00:24:54,137 I knew deep down in my blood soaked heart 488 00:24:54,241 --> 00:24:56,619 that I had to come back to my "Doomed Service" family 489 00:24:56,620 --> 00:25:00,827 and kick some Baphomet butt, because Caitlin is-- 490 00:25:00,931 --> 00:25:02,585 say it with me now, please. 491 00:25:02,586 --> 00:25:06,655 - Caitlin is-- -Too hot to die! 492 00:25:09,586 --> 00:25:11,481 - Yeah. - And just one more thing-- 493 00:25:11,482 --> 00:25:13,274 - Yeah, okay. - One more thing-- 494 00:25:13,275 --> 00:25:16,171 I think you deserve to hear it from me here first. 495 00:25:16,172 --> 00:25:17,861 Not only is Caitlin back, 496 00:25:17,862 --> 00:25:19,827 you get to have her for three 497 00:25:19,931 --> 00:25:21,999 horny, blood soaked movies! 498 00:25:23,310 --> 00:25:26,896 - Thank you. - Yes! Thank you, yeah. 499 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:30,274 We are indeed. We are indeed doing a trilogy. Yes! 500 00:25:30,275 --> 00:25:32,172 - Yeah! - Uh, but... 501 00:25:32,275 --> 00:25:37,344 what none of you know is that Caitlin had a daughter. 502 00:25:37,448 --> 00:25:38,379 Mm-hm. 503 00:25:38,965 --> 00:25:40,447 We were gonna surprise you during the screening, 504 00:25:40,448 --> 00:25:42,619 but the cat's out of the bag, so-- 505 00:25:42,620 --> 00:25:48,723 let's welcome to the stage Paula Lynde! 506 00:25:57,379 --> 00:26:00,413 I present to you our next leading lady, 507 00:26:00,517 --> 00:26:05,654 Caitlin's long lost daughter-- Emma! 508 00:26:20,068 --> 00:26:22,103 Oh, my. 509 00:26:22,206 --> 00:26:23,655 I have to say, 510 00:26:23,758 --> 00:26:26,310 being drenched in your love is almost as good 511 00:26:26,413 --> 00:26:28,067 as being drenched in blood. 512 00:26:43,965 --> 00:26:45,412 He's coming this way! 513 00:26:49,827 --> 00:26:52,379 Caitlin! Don't go down there! 514 00:27:04,896 --> 00:27:06,482 Fight me, Baphomet! 515 00:27:10,896 --> 00:27:12,758 That's right, I'm back! 516 00:27:14,896 --> 00:27:19,344 And I hate to break it to ya, but you're not too hot to die! 517 00:27:23,551 --> 00:27:25,136 You know, for an arch-demon in the underworld, 518 00:27:25,137 --> 00:27:26,620 you sure are dumb. 519 00:27:27,137 --> 00:27:28,896 'Cause I got my soul machete back-- 520 00:27:30,620 --> 00:27:33,033 And she's horny for demon guts! 521 00:28:11,551 --> 00:28:12,757 That was notwhat we shot. 522 00:28:12,758 --> 00:28:14,344 They told me I'd be in all three, 523 00:28:14,448 --> 00:28:15,586 but they chopped my goddamn head off 524 00:28:15,689 --> 00:28:16,964 using a body double. - Paige-- 525 00:28:16,965 --> 00:28:18,310 And-- and they didn't even have the guts 526 00:28:18,413 --> 00:28:19,895 to call me in for a re-shoot. 527 00:28:19,896 --> 00:28:21,378 Which-- which tells you how shifty it all is, right? 528 00:28:21,379 --> 00:28:22,862 Look, I know it doesn't feel like it, 529 00:28:22,965 --> 00:28:24,205 but you wanted to put Caitlin behind you. 530 00:28:24,206 --> 00:28:26,102 On myterms, Andy. Mine. 531 00:28:31,172 --> 00:28:32,620 What the hell was that? 532 00:28:32,724 --> 00:28:34,412 Do you know how humiliating that was? 533 00:28:34,413 --> 00:28:36,619 To have my part reduced to a tiny bit like that? 534 00:28:36,620 --> 00:28:38,620 - You lied to me. - No, I did not lie-- - Yes, you did. 535 00:28:38,724 --> 00:28:40,206 - You lied to me. - No, I did not lie-- 536 00:28:40,310 --> 00:28:41,895 Yes, you did lie. And you promised me. 537 00:28:41,896 --> 00:28:44,034 I promised you I would do all I could. We all did, okay? 538 00:28:44,137 --> 00:28:46,412 But when we tested the movie, Paula Lynde was just, 539 00:28:46,413 --> 00:28:48,448 she was-- she's off the charts. 540 00:28:49,068 --> 00:28:50,793 I had that audience eating out of the palm of my hand. 541 00:28:50,896 --> 00:28:53,206 Yeah, and you're gonna bring them back, okay? 542 00:28:53,310 --> 00:28:56,309 But she's gonna make them stay. She's-- 543 00:28:56,310 --> 00:28:57,896 She's a star. 544 00:29:03,034 --> 00:29:05,517 I'm so-- I'm sorry. 545 00:29:07,896 --> 00:29:10,447 Well, you will be. All of you. 546 00:29:10,448 --> 00:29:11,620 'Cause you're going to be getting calls 547 00:29:11,724 --> 00:29:13,862 from my agents and my lawyers. 548 00:29:15,379 --> 00:29:17,689 Okay. No. 549 00:29:18,862 --> 00:29:21,655 Yeah, you-- you do whatever you have to do. 550 00:29:24,793 --> 00:29:30,585 Oh-- Wow, Andy, uh, it is such an honor. 551 00:29:30,586 --> 00:29:32,965 Get the fuck out of my face, asshole. 552 00:29:43,689 --> 00:29:44,931 Let's get out of here. 553 00:29:45,034 --> 00:29:46,275 And do what? Go where? 554 00:29:46,379 --> 00:29:47,792 Go-- go-- go back to my apartment and-- 555 00:29:47,793 --> 00:29:49,309 and stare at a phone that's never gonna ring? 556 00:29:49,310 --> 00:29:50,343 You are too good for this garbage. 557 00:29:50,344 --> 00:29:51,343 No, I'm not. 558 00:29:51,344 --> 00:29:53,310 I'm not, Andy. 559 00:29:53,413 --> 00:29:55,827 Just like you're not too good for your college. 560 00:29:57,344 --> 00:29:59,343 Who am I if I'm not Caitlin? 561 00:29:59,344 --> 00:30:01,826 If I'm not a goddamn final girl? 562 00:30:19,620 --> 00:30:22,205 I promise you, Mama. 563 00:30:22,206 --> 00:30:25,136 Baphomet may have gotten away-- 564 00:30:25,137 --> 00:30:27,310 but I will avenge your death. 565 00:30:36,655 --> 00:30:38,586 You okay? 566 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,793 Might as well see what stupid thing they do 567 00:30:41,896 --> 00:30:43,448 to my severed head. 568 00:30:45,965 --> 00:30:48,448 I may have just found you-- 569 00:30:48,724 --> 00:30:50,999 but now I'll never forget you. 570 00:30:55,586 --> 00:30:57,275 No one will. 571 00:31:21,689 --> 00:31:24,930 Got you! 572 00:31:24,931 --> 00:31:26,655 That's the real Caitlin. 573 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,551 Did they put her in the movie? 574 00:31:29,931 --> 00:31:31,586 I don't know. 575 00:31:32,931 --> 00:31:35,448 I just can't believe this is my life. 576 00:31:38,137 --> 00:31:41,172 You again? - Who's that? 577 00:31:42,068 --> 00:31:46,275 Videoing me when I'm so happy I might break! 578 00:31:47,344 --> 00:31:49,895 The most beautiful woman in the world. 579 00:31:49,896 --> 00:31:52,551 Well, you are a flatterer. 580 00:31:53,310 --> 00:31:56,206 These are cold, hard facts, people. 581 00:31:59,862 --> 00:32:01,724 Oh-- those are the real photos. 582 00:32:06,655 --> 00:32:08,861 These photos-- I mean-- 583 00:32:08,862 --> 00:32:14,137 Maybe this crime scene photographer is a wizard. 584 00:32:14,241 --> 00:32:16,000 He's an artist. Can you believe this? 585 00:32:16,103 --> 00:32:19,931 -That's Blake. -Oh my God. 586 00:32:20,034 --> 00:32:21,413 That's Adriana. 587 00:32:21,517 --> 00:32:24,516 Jesus. - What the hell is going on? 588 00:32:24,517 --> 00:32:26,172 That bastard. 589 00:32:34,344 --> 00:32:37,000 Where is he? He needs to turn the shit off. 590 00:32:39,379 --> 00:32:40,862 Hey, where is the projection booth? 591 00:32:40,965 --> 00:32:42,103 Did you take our crime scene photos 592 00:32:42,206 --> 00:32:43,447 and put them in the movie? 593 00:32:43,448 --> 00:32:44,757 I don't want that crap in my movie. 594 00:32:44,758 --> 00:32:46,067 Do you know where the booth is? 595 00:32:46,068 --> 00:32:46,965 Well, shouldn't it be over there? 596 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,965 I'm gonna go look for the lights. - Okay. 597 00:33:03,034 --> 00:33:04,275 Hey! Open the door! 598 00:33:09,241 --> 00:33:10,793 Get that out of my eyes! 599 00:33:11,448 --> 00:33:13,206 Oh... 600 00:33:19,034 --> 00:33:21,068 Why are we watching this? 601 00:33:36,965 --> 00:33:39,379 What I like about murder art is-- 602 00:33:39,758 --> 00:33:43,068 It's that staring at a car crash impulse. 603 00:33:44,137 --> 00:33:45,689 And let's admit it-- 604 00:33:46,206 --> 00:33:48,723 there's a killer in all of us, right? 605 00:33:56,482 --> 00:33:58,137 Help... 606 00:34:10,965 --> 00:34:13,068 Aah! 607 00:34:33,758 --> 00:34:35,344 Oh my God. 608 00:34:50,896 --> 00:34:54,620 You-- you were back there. Back there alone with Aaron. 609 00:34:54,724 --> 00:34:55,655 And so were you. 610 00:34:55,758 --> 00:34:56,619 Stay back. Stay back! 611 00:34:58,517 --> 00:35:00,965 - Paige, I didn't do this. - Then who did? 612 00:35:01,482 --> 00:35:03,137 This was your plan all along, wasn't it? 613 00:35:03,655 --> 00:35:06,517 Get us up there. Cut us off. Pick us off one by one. 614 00:35:06,620 --> 00:35:08,241 So I could go to jail for the rest of my life? 615 00:35:08,344 --> 00:35:10,068 No, because then Floyd and Shirley showed up. 616 00:35:10,172 --> 00:35:11,585 Which I had nothing to do with. 617 00:35:11,586 --> 00:35:13,655 You got them to take the blame for you. 618 00:35:13,758 --> 00:35:16,136 Even asking me about that heart in my ceiling, 619 00:35:16,137 --> 00:35:17,896 just to throw me off your scent. 620 00:35:18,413 --> 00:35:20,517 You're the scent. 621 00:35:20,620 --> 00:35:23,793 You killed everyone to make yourself relevant again. 622 00:35:23,896 --> 00:35:26,275 But then you found out you got killed off, and, 623 00:35:26,379 --> 00:35:29,310 oh, you didn't like that. So your true colors came out. 624 00:35:29,965 --> 00:35:30,862 I'm not a murderer. 625 00:35:30,965 --> 00:35:32,586 No, you're an actor! 626 00:35:34,620 --> 00:35:36,827 What are you doing? - I'm making sure he's okay. 627 00:35:36,931 --> 00:35:39,861 You sliced him with a machete, of course he's not okay! 628 00:35:47,275 --> 00:35:49,000 What were you trying to prove? 629 00:35:49,482 --> 00:35:52,206 With those bits you added at the end, huh? 630 00:35:53,034 --> 00:35:54,896 How could I have pulled that off? 631 00:35:56,206 --> 00:35:58,896 Well, you interviewed everyone involved with the movies. 632 00:36:01,206 --> 00:36:03,792 Maybe you're pals with the editor. 633 00:36:03,793 --> 00:36:05,344 Is he dead, too? 634 00:36:05,758 --> 00:36:07,137 I'm not gonna let you turn me into 635 00:36:07,241 --> 00:36:09,448 one of your-- your cover stories. 636 00:36:11,103 --> 00:36:12,205 I read everything you've written 637 00:36:12,206 --> 00:36:14,241 on these movies and the murders. 638 00:36:14,827 --> 00:36:16,378 You know, because I-- I was interested 639 00:36:16,379 --> 00:36:18,689 in getting to know the guy who saved my life. 640 00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:23,067 They were pretty damn obsessive, Andy. 641 00:36:23,068 --> 00:36:25,757 From-- from the woman who lives and breathes 642 00:36:25,758 --> 00:36:28,034 the only character she's ever played? 643 00:36:28,482 --> 00:36:31,551 So much so that she goes on some method slaughter fest? 644 00:36:33,379 --> 00:36:34,965 Any actor worth their salt can sense 645 00:36:35,068 --> 00:36:36,724 how their scene partner is doing. 646 00:36:38,862 --> 00:36:39,965 And you... 647 00:36:40,862 --> 00:36:44,067 You held your breath every time Caitlin was on screen. 648 00:36:44,068 --> 00:36:46,378 Every time. 649 00:36:46,379 --> 00:36:48,275 Because I'd never seen those videos before. 650 00:36:48,379 --> 00:36:49,931 Bullshit. 651 00:36:51,103 --> 00:36:53,102 They're from your sick little personal collection, 652 00:36:53,103 --> 00:36:54,482 aren't they? 653 00:36:58,620 --> 00:37:00,033 You in love with her? - No. 654 00:37:00,034 --> 00:37:01,378 No? 655 00:37:01,379 --> 00:37:02,862 You didn't show up with your wine 656 00:37:02,965 --> 00:37:04,274 and talk a good game 657 00:37:04,275 --> 00:37:05,448 just so you could fuck the fake Caitlin? 658 00:37:05,551 --> 00:37:07,655 Shut your dirty goddamn mouth! 659 00:37:08,206 --> 00:37:09,724 Bullseye. 660 00:37:10,413 --> 00:37:12,585 The real Caitlin 661 00:37:12,586 --> 00:37:15,655 was nothinglike you. 662 00:37:16,931 --> 00:37:22,137 You've turned her into a bloody soft-core wet T-shirt joke. 663 00:37:22,241 --> 00:37:24,516 She was a special woman. 664 00:37:24,517 --> 00:37:26,964 And it was obvious from those videos. 665 00:37:26,965 --> 00:37:28,516 They were a private glimpse 666 00:37:28,517 --> 00:37:30,413 into a woman you've disrespected. 667 00:37:31,034 --> 00:37:34,930 And for you to make that some cheap and sexual thing-- 668 00:37:34,931 --> 00:37:38,551 Oh my God. Oh my God. 669 00:37:41,034 --> 00:37:43,034 You were in love with her. 670 00:37:45,551 --> 00:37:49,620 I did. I did love her. 671 00:37:52,103 --> 00:37:53,758 She was your mother. 672 00:37:54,206 --> 00:37:55,655 Oh... 673 00:37:56,448 --> 00:37:58,517 That's why you killed everyone. 674 00:38:04,448 --> 00:38:06,310 Youkilled everyone. 675 00:38:06,413 --> 00:38:07,517 No, I didn't. 676 00:38:07,620 --> 00:38:10,724 Same way you drowned Shirley, 677 00:38:10,827 --> 00:38:13,793 chopped Floyd's head off with a goddamn shovel. 678 00:38:14,517 --> 00:38:17,067 It was you. 679 00:38:17,068 --> 00:38:22,034 Just like you would do to anyone that didn't worship you! 680 00:38:37,241 --> 00:38:38,620 You... 681 00:38:47,344 --> 00:38:50,241 Oh my God! Andy! 682 00:38:50,344 --> 00:38:51,723 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 683 00:38:51,724 --> 00:38:54,309 I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 684 00:38:54,310 --> 00:38:56,861 I'm so sorry. You gave me no choice. 685 00:39:00,482 --> 00:39:02,240 You must have hated me. 686 00:39:02,241 --> 00:39:04,999 You must have hated me for playing her. 687 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,310 I hated that. 688 00:39:07,413 --> 00:39:08,965 Everyone thought she was you. 689 00:39:09,068 --> 00:39:10,586 I know. 690 00:39:11,206 --> 00:39:12,551 But then you... 691 00:39:13,482 --> 00:39:19,931 You-- then you changed my mind about you. 692 00:39:24,137 --> 00:39:27,826 I'm. Sorry. I'm so sorry. I-I never considered 693 00:39:27,827 --> 00:39:29,378 how much those movies would have hurt everyone 694 00:39:29,379 --> 00:39:30,826 everyone who knew the real Caitlin. 695 00:39:30,827 --> 00:39:33,758 I'm so sorry for my part. I'm so sorry. 696 00:39:33,862 --> 00:39:35,516 Please, please, believe me. Please. 697 00:39:35,517 --> 00:39:38,136 Everyone freeze! Now! 698 00:39:38,137 --> 00:39:39,585 Please, you have to believe me. 699 00:39:39,586 --> 00:39:41,344 You have to believe me. You have to believe me. 700 00:39:41,448 --> 00:39:43,171 Please forgive me. Please forgive me. -Don't move! 701 00:39:43,172 --> 00:39:44,517 Let me see your hands! 702 00:39:44,620 --> 00:39:48,103 Hands! - Help me! 703 00:39:48,482 --> 00:39:51,205 - Andy! - She's trying to kill me. - Andy, no! 704 00:39:51,206 --> 00:39:52,793 -She killed him! - No! 705 00:39:52,896 --> 00:39:54,895 And everyone at the Cold River Motel! 706 00:39:54,896 --> 00:39:57,034 Jesus, Andy, tell them the truth! 707 00:39:58,793 --> 00:40:00,068 Drop it! 708 00:40:00,551 --> 00:40:01,827 Drop the knife! 709 00:40:04,241 --> 00:40:05,585 Oh! 710 00:40:22,344 --> 00:40:24,620 It's over, isn't it? 711 00:40:28,379 --> 00:40:29,723 Final girl. 712 00:40:35,068 --> 00:40:36,931 See you in Hell. 713 00:41:10,344 --> 00:41:11,793 Hey, Katie. 714 00:41:11,896 --> 00:41:13,241 We're so glad to have you audition for 715 00:41:13,344 --> 00:41:14,931 "Doomed Service: Hell Motel." 716 00:41:15,034 --> 00:41:17,068 Have a seat. We'll do a couple of takes. 717 00:41:17,896 --> 00:41:20,689 Okay. Rolling, rolling. Stand by. 718 00:41:21,310 --> 00:41:22,896 And action. 719 00:41:28,793 --> 00:41:30,862 Uh, I think a slower turn is good. 720 00:41:30,965 --> 00:41:33,412 Hey, Connor, can we punch in, uh, a little bit more. 721 00:41:33,413 --> 00:41:34,964 - 100% - Close. 722 00:41:34,965 --> 00:41:38,241 Real close. That's it. That's beautiful. 723 00:41:39,275 --> 00:41:41,448 See you in Hell. 724 00:41:41,551 --> 00:41:42,965 Can we do one more? 725 00:41:43,068 --> 00:41:45,344 I'd love to have the eyes that are just dead. 726 00:41:45,655 --> 00:41:47,448 - Okay. - Uh, yeah. Just take your time. 727 00:41:47,551 --> 00:41:49,551 I love it. Action! 728 00:41:56,172 --> 00:41:57,931 See you in Hell. 729 00:42:12,586 --> 00:42:15,000 And scene. That's it. Great work, Katie. 730 00:42:15,103 --> 00:42:17,688 - You think so? - Yeah. - I hope so. 731 00:42:17,689 --> 00:42:19,862 I would literally kill for this part. 51365

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