All language subtitles for Going.Under.1991.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

Wait. Girl, girl, now you listening?

Now, girl, here is where our nation's
leaders take mommy's and daddy's tax

dollars and turn them into machines of
global destruction.

Buongiorno, Admiral.

With this new state -of -the -art doming
device, any torpedo that misses its

target will automatically turn around.

and head for home base as fast as he
can.

Perhaps you'd like to examine the
schematic.

I'll take it.

Hi, how you doing? Nice to see you.
Great to know you're good to meet you.

you're on a submarine. You've been at
sea for six long, boring, cramped

locked up with the same stinkin',
smellin' guys, when all of a sudden, all

can think about is that you're
surrounded by water. Everything is

you from all sides. What are you gonna
do? What are you gonna do? What are you

gonna do? I'll tell you what you're
gonna do. It's the new imaging room

Yes, it's over 101 beautiful scenic
vistas. Yes, picture -perfect panoramas

that'll make claustrophobia a word of
the past. I'm telling you, with these

beautiful babies on board, you'll never
have to worry about anything. In fact...

There's just no reason to ever bring the
boys back home again.

Did I happen to mention our rebate plan?

I'll take it.

What? The Secretary of Defense sounds
upset.

He wants to talk to you about the stamp.

Malice. Sub -grillion.

I'm a real cash cow. Would you care to
sacrifice a statement, please?

Hey, man, don't go away, man. Just go
away, man.

Curb your dog.

Let's go.

Does the silver medal go above the
bronze?

Today, we are going to be talking about
the USS Standard, the new stealth

submarine. It's over budget.

Can you say over budget?

Over budget? I knew that you could.

Admiral Malice, since you are in charge
of the new stealth submarine program,

I guess these next words are for you.

Ready?

The president wants the standard in the
water in one

week.

Secretary, Mr. Neighbor, my contractors
assure me that with only 2

.5 billion more dollars, we can have the
standard ready, say, by next spring.

Can you say one week?

One week.

I knew that you could.

One week?

One week.

Mr. Wedgwood is not going to like this.

Mr. Wedgwood.

Sir.

We've got a problem, sir.

You know what the problem is with the
world today, Prudhoe?

What's that, Mr. Wedgwood, sir?

There just aren't enough wars.

Wars get things going.

So what the Cold War did for industry,
now that that's over, just another

war. I could make another fortune.

They want the standard in the water.

Well, in one week, sir.

I thought you were going to take care of
us if necessary delays.

I tried to explain.

You see, they just...

Nor did they understand what the
nation's defense is about.

They were completely unmoved.

The U .S.

substandard will be in the water in a
week.

Of course, under the circumstances,
we'll have to cut a few corners

here and there.

I've been in tense situations before.

I was captain of the football team.

I always came through.

But now, I don't know. I'm not eating.
I'm not sleeping.

It all started that day.

My first real assignment.

Commanding the USS Bongo. Everything was
going great.

We're headed right for shore!

Maybe not exactly great.

We're going to hit it!

We're going to hit it! Give us an order,
sir!

Sir, anything at all?

Law to balance.

Sir, law to balance.

Sounds like an order to me.

I don't know, Doc.

The whole experience left me paralyzed.

Ever since then, my life's been a
shambles. I can't concentrate, nerves

shot.

I've got these feelings.

Nothing more than feelings.

Trying hard to forget these feelings.

Hit the floor, mama's boy, and give me
50!

What?

Yes, sir.

You are one poor excuse for a commander,
Banner. I'm lucky to be a Navy man,

sir. Lucky?

I call it divine intervention.

Sit up.

Yes, sir.

One. My count.

One. What is it with you, Banner? What
in the hell makes you think you should

in charge of anything?

I'm a people person, sir.

Squat thrust.

Double time.

Well, we know why you get all weak
-kneed like some piss -soaked chihuahua

time this man's navy gives you command
of anything.

Don't we, Banner?

Yes, sir, we do, sir.

Ten hut!

Shoulders back, stomach in, chin down!

Need I mention the real reasons you
can't eat and the real

reasons you can't sleep?

No, you don't need to mention it. What
kind of Navy man is afraid of situations

where the feeling is too... What?

I don't know, sir, but I'll get to the
bottom of it.

You're already at the bottom, Banner.
So, what do you have to say to that, Mr.

Weenie Man?

Well, we seem to be getting somewhere.
Same time tomorrow, Sergeant?

Aye, sir.

Banner, congratulations.

Your orders have been cut.

My orders, sir?

Your orders, son.

You have been chosen to command the U
.S.

substandard.

Do you think I'm ready for that, sir?

You're not going to let a little thing
like beaching a sub slow down a fast

-track career like yours, are you, son?

It was a big thing.

It was big subs.

Smile.

Smile!

Get him.

Moe, whatever the sacrifice, get that
stuff in the water. Yes, sir. And then I

want you to send me to the worst crew
ever. Yes, sir. I want the drinks, the

loonies, the dropouts, the burnouts, the
lowest and lowest scum of the earth.

And, Moe? Yes, sir.

I want you on that crew.

You'll be my eyes. You'll be my ears. Of
course, it'll be your ass.

Yes, sir.

One week, sir.

I'll be your eyes.

I'll be your ears.

It'll be my ass.

I can't believe this.

We're short on materials, manpower, and
now this?

Are you absolutely positively sure these
are all the plans they sent?

Yep. And you're absolutely positively
sure they want it in the water in a

Yep. Well, what are we supposed to do
with the rest of it?

I don't know, boss.

All I know, we got a whole size 57 Chevy
right about, right about here.

Get out of here!

All right!

157 Chevy.

Coming right up. Let's hustle.

Get it inside. Let's go.

Give me a

beer. Would that be as in

root, ginger, or malt?

Malt. Vanilla, strawberry, or chocolate?

Good. Chocolate.

Thanks.

Hey! Look who's here!

It's Biff! Hey, Biff!

Biff, come on. One more time, please.
Oh, we got it. We got it. The old arm.

Come on.

The old torpedo. Just one.

You guys.

Simple human mistake. Mistake? I must
have taught you something after all.

You taught me to stay the hell away from
teachers like you. That's him.

Not so fast.

Yeah.

In fact, you're the reason that the
academy had lost one of the...

ever had.

Oh, yeah?

It pleases me to know my humble efforts
so vastly improved the quality of

education at the academy.

Get me out of here.

for military intelligence.

You sure? He said banner and didn't say
get me a hammer?

Wow.

Very impressive.

Moving on.

We're here. I know.

Okay. Follow me.

You guys are going to take orders?

Looking very good there.

Very good. Straight ahead.

Getting a little creased.

Okay. Coming through, guys.

Okay.

Okay. Getting in there.

Okay. Coming.

Coming down.

The sun is going to be up in 20 minutes.
I don't want anyone to be seeing this

submarine in the daylight.

Do you understand?

Yes, sir.

Big night for you, my boy. Better get
underway.

Come on, Malice. Considering the long
delays and ridiculous cost overruns with

the project, don't you think it's just a
wee bit too evident?

These gentlemen are going to score two
to the press briefing.

That's a four -star general. Shook my
hand.

Hey,

guys, the hatch is over here. Hey, hey,
hey, hey, what are you doing with my

pants? That's not my crew.

There's only ten minutes to launch. Sir!

Your crew's already on board. Certainly.
How about if we go where those guys are

going? Let me help you, sir.

That was fast.

Yep. Whoa.

A ring. Okay.

Okay. Okay.

I'm Ensign Skiff, sir.

12 years Davel Academy, sir. I almost
graduated last year, sir.

Well, you keep on trying.

At ease.

At ease.

Very good order, sir. Very nice.

Gosh almighty. I am so glad to see you
made it on board safely, Captain, sir.

You need these hats. That's great.

You'll get the bill later.

I think the bill's big enough already.

Yes, sir.

Your crew awaits you, sir.

Good.

Come around this way, sir. No, I've
tried.

Why don't we try straight ahead? Where?
Straight ahead.

Watch yourself, sir.

Good choice, sir. Very nice. I am so
sorry, sir. I am so sorry. Things are

a little bit cramped in here.

You mean... Camped.

Very camped.

Camped.

Probably me. Probably just me.

Aha.

Are these the first officers?

They are our only officers, sir.

Well, these might be a little dressy
then.

Ah, okay.

This is our navigator, Captain.

Officer Randy McNally, 12 years,
tactical navigation, sir.

Cabby, New York, rush hour.

Great. Combat experience.

What battles have you fought in? Battle
of the Bowery, Battle of the Crooked

Straits, and the week -long Grateful
Dead concert at the Garden.

All right, moving on.

You're really in good shape there.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. This is
Officer Quisby, sir. And what's your

expertise, sailor? I know that. I know
the answer to that.

Just, uh...

Give me a second.

He's a communication specialist.
Communication specialist.

I said it first. I knew that.

Communication specialist. He said it
first. I said it first. I did. At any

we'll be communicating a lot, I'm sure.

What do you mean? What does he mean? Is
this like a test?

I mean, I know everything I'm supposed
to and everything.

Sure. It's just that tests make me a
little... Nervous.

No.

Sweaty. None of the above.

Tense.

Tense? Hey, hey.

Then no tests.

No tests? No tests.

This is Officer Sonar, sir.

You must be our sonar expert.

Am I right about that? Your mother must
be so proud of you.

Sir,

this is Turbo. He is our chief engineer,
and he has worked on every kind of

vehicle in the Navy, sir.

Ah, good, good. So you're used to
working on sophisticated, complex

then? No problem, sir.

Ever worked on a nuclear sub before,
Turbo?

Well, sir, yeah.

Seen one, you've seen them all, sir.

You ever seen one?

I can't say that I have, sir.

And this is Officer Applesir. He's our
computer expert. Four years grade

four years at MIT.

Oh, well, this is going to be a real
learning experience for you then, huh?

I hardly think so.

I've already made my... all the
operation manuals and all the specs and

codes and all the directives and all the
diagrams and all the descriptions.

Wonderful.

Thank you so much.

Yes, sir.

Well, this is our special observer
assigned by Secretary Naber himself,

her class in Navy Academy, expert in
naval protocol, two years active duty on

submarines, sir. Great.

All right.

This is more like it.

I'll handle this.

Yes, sir.

What are you doing here?

Special observation assignment.

Hmm.

Observing what?

You. Oh.

Every move you make, every regulation
you break, I'll be watching you.

I've heard that tune before.

Everything will go on my report to
secretary neighbors.

Big deal. I'm scared. I'm terrified.

I'm chicken fried.

Ah, Captain. I'm saturated in fat. Your
crew. I'm bowling at 300.

Attention.

Attention.

Prepare to launch.

I got a banana.

Lunch!

Lunch.

Let me get this straight.

You think that I've wiggled my way onto
this thing just to crotch you off guard

and get your job, is that it?

Bingo, and I bet you thought you could
lick me, huh?

Any time, any place.

But you're going down all in your old
buddy.

Face it, baby, you're going to blow it.
What's hard for you to swallow is that

I'm the head honcho around here and I
get to give all the big commands.

honcho. Oh, he will never change.

He has been trying to undermine me since
the day I met him.

She hates when I have the last word.
Always asks.

She wants my job and she can't have it.

You know what you are? Here it comes.

You're a hard -headed, insensitive,
overblown incompetent.

Overblown.

Just stay away from me, Michael. It'll
be my pleasure, Captain.

Your order, sir?

Commence launch countdown.

Very good order, sir. Very nice.

Commence launch countdown.

Be happy to, Captain.

We'll start at ten.

Just because everybody else does.
There's nobody here.

Very observant, sir.

Hold it, hold it.

Can you hold it on for a second? Because
nobody's here now.

Water pressure, a lot.

Oil pressure, so sick.

Electrical system, hold it.

Computer system, down.

Safety system, down.

Quickly, please.

Everybody just... Eight, seven, three,
two...

Boy They

wait

Apple

ready the ballast tanks for dive
conditions Yes, sir.

Sonar, let me know if anything comes in
the neighborhood.

Bisbee, switch off the radio. Silent
running.

Great.

Up periscope.

Wait a minute.

What's going on here?

Hey! What the hell's going on?

Huh?

Everybody, go.

Go. Like that. Like that. Hey.

Turbo.

Turbo.

Easy.

Easy.

What did you see, Captain?

Nothing.

The lens caps, huh? Ah, I'll make a note
of that.

Good.

When will we be rid of the standard for
good?

We're going to put it through a few
tests.

That ought to do it.

I'll be controlling the standard
personally from short. You don't have

to worry about, Mr. Westwood.

I'll say to it, I don't like to be
disappointed.

May we drop you anywhere, Admiral?

You know, that is really very nice of
you, sir.

Good. And why don't we drop you right
here?

The White House, James.

And tell the President not to be late.

Captain's lock. Subdate Thursday.

I, Biff Banner, am in complete command
of the standard.

Everything is running smoothly, except
for Michael's. Little Miss Perfect.

Little Miss I'm -Gonna -Write -Every
-Little -Thing -Down -In -My -Report.

I think once I even thought she was
cute. Oh, boy, live and learn, Biffo.

of all people, called you overblown.

Overblown!

That's what she said. Can you believe
it?

Right. Malice calling mole.

Malice calling mole.

Breaker, breaker, bronco buster, bronco
buster, breaker, breaker.

Break wind.

Sir, operation what, sir? Break wind.
Sir, I can't hear.

Break wind.

Break what, sir?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

You'll be proud of me, sir.

This is the mole.

I am over, and I am out.

How'd you bet? I bet the sub would
survive 12 hours, the captain 10.

That bungo buzzo, he'll live five hours.
Get out of here.

Dutch boy. Dutch boy.

Dutch boy.

Nope. The men are eager.

Lunch, lunch. I mean, it sounds similar,
but...

What's this?

Imaging room.

Welcome to the imaging room.

Capable of simulating over 100 beautiful
scenic environments for your

recreational pleasure. As you were.

Wait a minute.

Welcome to the imaging room.

Oh, never mind.

Coming in.

Coming out. Coming out.

You can't fool me, Michaels.

I know why you wanted to come on this
mission.

Get it through your skull, Banner. I was
assigned to this missionary position

and now I'm sorry I was.

The only thing you're sorry about is
that you're not on top.

Is that so?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

So, come on, let's quit this chit -chat.
You and I both know you always wanted

to sit on the helm of a big submersible
projectile like this one.

Deck three, impressed feelings and
sexual annoyance.

If it's got a rudder on it, I can drive
it. Sir, this isn't S .O .P. or S .O .D.

U .S .O .B. Get me the stand. Aye, sir.
I have the con.

Out.

Sparks, patch me in.

Excuse me, sir. Would you like to join
us for orientation briefing?

Yes, sir.

Ah.

Orientation briefing.

And I'll be brief because testing
procedures begin at 0800 hours.

All right. Just a few things about the
standard.

Page 107.

The stealth device is a system of sonic
dispersions using cetacean imitating

patterns to... Cetacea what? Ask me.
Sorry, sir.

Cetacean, a whale, Skiff. Everyone will
just think we're a big whale. Ooh,

neato.

Perhaps the captain would like to fill
us in on some of the more technical

aspects of this.

Sure.

Well, it's sort of just... It's
really...

It's all in here.

Ha -ha! Turbo!

Just in time.

Would you like to give us some of the
technical aspects of the standard

She's big.

She's big.

Great.

I'll look that up.

Quisby. Yes, sir? Quisby, can you
communicate to us just some of the basic

objectives of this mission?

Is this a...

Is this multiple choice?

I don't know. Is it a multiple choice
question? I have no idea.

The objective of this mission is to...
Quiet, quiet, please.

Sonar.

Is it too late to apply for a transfer?

Yeah, let's look into that. Some of the
others might be interested in that, too.

This is Admiral Malice calling a
standard.

Switch to base control.

Surprise. Good. Switching to base
control.

I get to say that. Officer Apple, switch
to base control.

Yes, sir.

Wait.

As captain, I am complete control.

Easy come, easy go, huh, Captain?

long time, Celia.

But they say there's two things you
never forget.

One of them is riding a bicycle and I
forget what the other one is.

Prepare for the loop -de -loop.

So long, suckers.

a problem.

Hang on.

Captain, the stabilizers are bending.

Sir,

are you reading me up there? There's a
lot going on down here. Are we having

yet?

Okay, hold it.

Crispy, you got that? All right. Come on
up.

Help him here. We need to come alive.
Come on. Come on. Come on up.

Purple,

hang on. I'm coming down.

Yes, sir.

Come on down.

Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.

Captain, Captain. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

Going down there.

You coming down, sir?

Come down again.

Yes, sir. Clear to come down again, sir.

Captain, why don't we use the stairs?

Come down again on the stairs.

Yes, sir. Coming down again on the
stairs.

All right.

All right. Come on.

Crispy, grab that pole.

Push, push.

How did he do that?

So,

like, what does a guy have to

do to get a little attention around
here?

But that was just all luck.

Second of all, you left the bridge to
help the crew.

But you left the bridge.

Are you following this? Not at all, sir.

And third of all... Gentlemen, there's
been a change of plans.

Prepare for the abyss.

He's sending us into the abyss? The
abyss? The abyss.

Sir, no sub has ever survived the abyss.

What do you have to say about that?

Admiral Malice is our chief of staff.

If he wants to send us into the abyss,
it is our duty to go into the abyss.

He just wants to see if I can take it.

Here.

I'm ready.

100 fathoms.

All right.

150 fathoms.

Turn the pump.

Deeper. Deeper.

450 fathoms.

A pattern to take.

600 fathoms.

Hold on.

Silly question, Bing.

How deep can this thing go?

See that needle? If that gets in the
red, we're done for.

Hold that up.

800 bathams passing the mile mark, sir.
The hull can't hold this water pressure,

sir.

Is he water? No, sir. He said water.

Ah.

Well, fine on the under pressure.

Ever see Christ the Marine?

It's not a pretty sight.

A little bridge like this.

He'd get really cramped.

See?

Cramped. No, sir. No, sir. He said
ramped. You know, ramped.

I know ramped. He said cramped.

Cramped.

Cramped, yeah.

That's what I thought he said.

Snap out of it!

In case you didn't know, this man's got
a thing about water and cramped spaces.

Sir!

Sir! Are you okay? Sir!

Beth! You better give us an order,
honey.

Mr. Wedgwood.

I see.

But I don't want you to worry, Mr.
Wedgwood, sir.

The standard will go down.

I'll see to it.

Must I do everything myself?

Mr. Wedgwood, sir? Are you playing with
your buttons, sir?

The satellite will fall in Soviet
waters.

You will see to it that the standard is
sent to retrieve it.

Soviet waters?

But that satellite has got a nuclear
bomb on it.

Precisely. And the standard will be
destroyed.

And I'll get my delicious little war.

And your stations.

Set heading for 197.

We're going home.

Wait a minute.

Nobody's here.

I told them to stay here.

Guys, guys, I think that you'd better
come out here.

Here they are, sir.

Fall in! At attention!

In all my years, I have never seen

a crew that could equal the incompetence
of this one.

At least this is only a training
mission.

Why, I wouldn't take a walk across the
street with a bunch like this, much less

go on a real mission with them.

What is it? It's our real mission, sir.

Admiral Malice has ordered us to
secretly enter Soviet waters, retrieve

American satellite, and disarm the
nuclear bomb it is carrying, sir.

Right now?

Well, sometime in the next hour would be
good.

We're going home.

Excuse me, sir, but if Admiral Malice,
our chief of staff, asks us to retrieve

fallen satellite, then isn't it our duty
to retrieve the fallen satellite,

sir?

Yes.

Well, this changes things.

I guess we're all in this together. Hey,
gang?

Have you seen Captain Banner lately?

Captain Banner lately?

Oh, he's in there.

Oh, hey. Have you seen the bridge
lately?

Up there.

Up there.

Hey, I can use that.

It's probably me.

Probably just me.

Welcome to the imaging room.

Capable of... Simulating over 100
beautiful scenic environments for your

recreational pleasure.

Wow.

Captain.

Skip. Welcome.

Go in peace.

Right, sir. Right, sir. I really think
that you should take a look at this,

I must not disturb thy perfect focus.

Oh, right, sir. Right, sir. Absolutely,
sir. I'll tell you what.

You finish your putt, and when you're
done, we'll go back to the bridge.

Fair enough. Okay, I'll just stand over
here.

I'll just be right over here, sir.

Right over here.

Settled? Yes.

Fine, sir. Good.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

Sir,

you ever notice how loud things are when
you're trying to be quiet?

You ever notice how loud breathing is
when you're trying to be quiet? I won't

that anymore. I won't even breathe. I'm
going to hold my breath for you, sir.

Take it.

Ow! Sorry.

Sorry. There, sir.

You see, I just screw things up.

Sure, I was the star quarterback.

Object of endless adulation.

But it's all behind me now.

Ah, I'm retired now.

And, oh, goodness gracious, Soviet
satellite nuclear bomb.

Top break. Whoa,

watch it. Excuse me.

Sir, sir, you are the one person in the
entire world that can unite this crew.

Get us to the satellite and disarm the
bomb in time.

Curious, that, yes.

But, sir, but, sir, I believe, I believe
that if you believed in yourself, then

everybody would believe in you, and then
everybody could believe in each other.

I'd like to believe that, but then I
would have to figure out what you just

said.

And what is the likelihood that this
bomb would go off?

It's an automatic timer for two hours
after touchdown.

I think I'll be a friend today.

And tell the Soviets all about this.

I think that we can all agree here that
that could land us in the doo -doo.

Now, Mr. Secretary, Mr. Neighbor, forget
this perestroika stuff.

Look at it this way.

Suppose a Soviet military secret spy
satellite were to splash

down in our waters, full of that Soviet
secret equipment.

Now, would we believe them if they told
us that it had a nuclear device on it?

It's a tricky day.

Ticky day.

The Pentagon.

So, gang, if we really work together as
a team, everything will be fine.

Everything

is

going to be just fine.

You'll be proud of me, sir.

I won't let you down.

I'm getting something on the screen.

There's a signal.

I'm not sure it is a big signal.

An American submarine has entered our
waters.

So we try peace, but they don't want it.
Oh, oh, comrade.

It is the substandard.

The substandard.

It is paramount we deploy the pink
November.

Do you hear anything?

Captain, I think I hear singing.

Curious. Captain, we have located the
substandard.

Excellent. Where?

Here.

The hunt is on, comrade.

You know what I think got me?

All that business about the American
stealth bomber.

All is just big smokescreen. Who would
spend so much money on something

so stupid?

The stealth bomber is just to cover up
what they really do.

Which is?

They're a stealth submarine.

They're substandard?

I haven't got a goose. Oh, me too.

Uh -oh.

Oh, boy.

Oh, no.

Sir,

a Soviet sub is pursuing the
substandard.

Holy torpedo, Admiral. It's the pink
November.

Pink November?

Darn, I guess this ends the secret part
of the mission. I better call up the

sixth fleet. And then order them to
protect the standard against any hostile

actions.

Even if it means destroying the pink
November.

Look, comrade, an American armada is
descending the fall now.

Yeah?

Well, let's just...

Let's see what they think about this.

Look, Admiral, a Soviet platoon is
zeroing in on the thick fleet.

Oh, yeah?

Well, let's see what they think about
this.

being followed. By what? Submarine. What
kind of submarine?

Soviet.

Not the pink November.

Right.

Engage stealth device.

Oh, boy.

Disappeared.

Disappeared? All I'm getting is a whale,
huh? A whale?

This is the biggest whale I've ever
seen.

You're mine.

Mine.

Fire harpoon number three. We're being
followed.

Followed by what?

A boat.

And the stealth device is engaged? Yeah,
affirmative.

What kind of a boat is that?

What is it? It's a harpoon, sir.

Why? Well, perhaps somebody thinks we're
just a big whale, sir. Why?

Fire again.

Disengage the stealth device. Permitted.

Torpedo room. Fire torpedo number one.

Goodbye, substandard.

Meat?

Wait, Dave! What a fish!

Fire again!

Cover! Turn off the damn stealth device!

Let it in.

Captain, because that's where you
belong.

Says who, buckaroo?

with me or not.

Fire torpedo number 10.

I was shooting great.

It was fun.

I was having a great time.

And you're always saying you're the
captain. So why don't you be the

All right, you want to see captain? I'll
show you captain.

See, I'm on a roll.

You're certainly on something. Yeah.

Thank you. You're right. The land of the
throne.

Yeah.

Now, is this enough, Captain, for you?

Swap the deck. Raise the anchor. Make
the coffee. Captain.

I made it. We are heading into an ice
flow, sir.

What? An ice flow. Dead ahead. The pink
November is closing in.

We're doomed.

Mustn't say doomed. Mustn't.

No.

Where is this ice low?

Dead ahead.

Where is this pink November?

Oh, it's close.

See, that's really close. Sir, do you
think just this once we can make a hasty

decision? Well, I'm...

Torpedo number 12.

15 seconds.

Impact.

The standard is no more.

True, doesn't it, sir?

which is this, reading the satellite at
only 100 yards off starboard.

It has to be diffused.

Absolutely. Captain, the bomb on the
satellite is set to go off in 13

44 seconds.

You could take the mini -sub, you could
go to the satellite, you could crawl in

and you could diffuse it.

Well, yeah, but the mini -sub's kind of
sort of tamped.

No, it's cramped.

And besides, it's surrounded by a lot of
otter.

Water.

So, uh, I think you should just take it
from here, okay? No, Biff, Biff, this is

a perfect opportunity for you to
overcome all your phobias. It'll be

it'll be neat.

No. No, it won't.

It's time for you to be captain, and
here's your chance. Go for it. Oh, fine.

Be that way. You want to see captain?
I'll show you captain.

I really appreciate this, Michael.

Oh, man.

Lots of otter in here.

He's doing just fine.

Haven't I... Haven't we... Yes, sir. The
name's Mole.

Mole? The Mole.

You mean... Exactly.

And all this time you were actually...
Precisely.

Okay.

What's this?

The bomb.

The bomb?

Nuclear bomb, sir. Yes.

Excuse me.

I'm going to drink it.

Don't mind me.

Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to
cease and desist disarming that bomb,

Captain. I'm sorry, I'm not taking any
requests right now.

He's doing fine, just fine.

Right, right.

This bomb cannot be

disarmed. No way, no how, no matter what
you do, so there.

Another fine mess the armed dealers at
Wedgwood Research and Technology have

gotten you into.

This makes my work almost impossible.

Look, Mole, this job.

I hate to break it to you, but there's
not a lot of future in this.

Great job, sir. Navy job. The hours
are... Sir, no, no. Okay, sir. Sir, the

whole Pentagon is watching you. Really?

I'm a free agent.

Free? I can't, Mole.

All right.

Here I go.

Sir, you did it. Do you realize what you
just did? No, why?

You overcame your phobias. I did?

Water. Water.

I made it through.

Cramps faces the mini sun.

Captain, you'll be proud to hear that
we've taken care of things on our end.

6th Fleet is ready to escort us out, but
we've got to hurry.

Yeah, we can't get out of here. Your
little plan didn't work.

Well, you did defuse the bomb.

No, it was indefusable.

That's incomprehensible. It's
indeniable. It's inconceivable.

It's indivisible. But, sir, what does
all this mean?

Well, we've got to go to plan B. Plan B?
Plan B.

What is plan B?

Well, I've tied the satellite to the
anchor and we're... going to drop it

the abyss.

The abyss? The abyss.

The abyss.

Set the coordinates for the abyss. We'll
drown it in there.

It's our only chance to save the world.
Tell the Sixth Fleet we're coming

through. Aye, aye, sir. There's just one
problem.

What problem? Problem?

Oh.

That's funny. It doesn't look like the
Sixth Fleet.

It looks a lot like a big angry Russian
fleet.

You're getting warmer, Captain.

Didn't anybody tell him we have a bomb?

Mom, Mom, you are surrounded.

You will be allowed to leave our waters
under one condition.

You must leave the satellite behind.

You have 30 seconds.

Boy, I love this movie.

Captain, I think we should definitely
just cut the chain and give them the

satellite. I think that would be a very
good idea. We are in their world.

Absolutely. I agree with that.

That's the way the ball bounces.

Twelve. Nine.

Thirteen. What?

Nine. Captain?

Eight. Seven.

Six. Five.

breathing space.

Now, Grisby, get me the international
operator.

You got it, sir.

Time out. Time out. Yeah.

We're taking a time out.

Yeah. Yeah.

Hello, operator.

Yeah? Get me Joe. It's Biff. Biff who?

Right. Biff Banner. All right.

Hey, kid. It's Joe.

Joe, what's the bottom line here? Oh,
you're in a pretty tough spot, Biffo.

They're big, too.

If we make the wrong call here, there'll
be a whole lot of Monday morning

quarterbacking going on. Right.

So, what do you think we ought to do?

It's late in the game.

You're in terrible field position.

Turn over here could mean World War III.

Pretty bad, huh?

Yeah, pretty bad, Biffo.

Under the circumstances, I would say
punt.

Punt?

Save your knees, kid.

Punt.

You should, Joe.

Of course, but... It's your call, Biff.

You ready?

Break!

This better be good, Banner.

Call the huddle of the Sixth Fleet.

A huddle?

A huddle.

What is a huddle?

Huh? Look up huddle.

All right, Six Fleet, listen up.

All right.

Here's the play.

We start off in the regular formation.

Then we go Red Dog 7, block back, 5 up,
5 down. Yeah. 27, 36, 92.

Got it. We need a crack back block, 87
sweep with a reverse, okay? You got it.

can do it.

Good. And then when I say now, it's
whoop, whoop, whoop, and... Play ball.

Ready?

On two.

Give me an A!

Give me an A!

Give me a B!

Here we are, sports fans, high above the
barren sea on just a beautiful day for

global conflict.

And the question is, can Banner pull it
off? And that's why it comes down to

this, the biggest play in recorded
history.

All right, team.

The world watches.

Keep down! Reddison!

48! 52!

Green! Yellow! Blue! Hut!

Sabo! Ha!

All right. He's dropping back. It's
going to be a punt.

They're dropping back in a formation.

Dropping back. It's going to be a punt.
It's going to be a punt. A punt. A punt.

A punt. A punt.

Wait a minute.

Fake out!

Apple! Runner!

Ballot!

Shake your footies!

Tombo! Full throttle!

Full throttle, man!

Grab it up!

He's been going to run for it.

What? It's a thing.

Tell the Pink November.

Don't ever do that to me.

The Pink November's in hot pursuit, and
it looks like it's going to be a horse

race to the end zone.

Cut back, Ryder. Got it, sir.

All right, Christmas, clear it out. Yes,
sir.

Destroyers to the left, carriers to the
right.

You level and report.

I think we're going to make it, sir. All
right, Sona, pick him up. Right.

Sir, I'm picking up an FM radio station
on this. Does that matter? Apple, come

on. Take to that screen, will you? It's
kind of a Lombada kind of a thing.

But he didn't punch.

No.

He died.

It's a trick play.

Yeah, he's moving that field. It's an
open field.

Looking good. More power.

Crazy American buckaroos. Go, Pete. Go,
November.

Go, Pete.

Go, November.

What a gutsy call.

This one's for you, Joe.

Oh, I like it, Biffo. I like it. Coming
down to the last point. Okay.

Did you pick him?

The haunt is over.

All right, we're not home yet.

How much time left on this satellite?

Twenty seconds and counting. We're
coming up on their pistol.

Prepare to jettison the anchor in the
satellite.

Ready, sir.

Now.

They don't.

Hey, no, I know this man So

I get to thinking maybe it is time for a
career move anyway, I cut the anchor

chain with my little knife

You wouldn't... You wouldn't happen to
have any job openings, would you?

Here?

I don't know.

This is kind of a special crew.

Come on, Captain. All right, all right,
all right. Get away!

So, this fraud has finally been exposed
in the substandard scale. And now let's

go for a statement...

close and personal. Any comments?

No comment.

Affirmative. Negative.

No comment.

Where's the money?

Mr. Wedgwood, sir.

Mr.

Wedgwood, sir.

I'm not finished observing you yet.

No, I think I'm going to have to keep
observing you for a long, long time.

Fine by me, Michael.

Ensign Skiff calling the imaging room.
Captain Banner, are you there?

All repairs have been completed, sir,
and we are ready to take her home. You

the captain.

Captain Flog, Infant Skip in command.
I've taken charge of the helm, and

everything is going just great.

Well, maybe not great.

Kind of a medium kind of a great there.

Thank you.