Original subtitles

Dude, it's spring break.

Key word, break.

If I wanted to spend the week partying, I would've, but that's not the case.

Oh, I can care less.

The way I see it, and remember, this is only if I can recall correctly, but the

massive amounts of smoking and boozing, as you like to call it, ugh, every time

we go to Vegas or Cabo, I always come home feeling worse.

So,

Cancun, no thank you.

Oh yeah, get this.

So, mom and I are watching this run -of -the -mill chick flick last night, and

the cabin down the street gets super loud.

Yeah, I can't get away from you animals.

Right, I'm going to go right over there with my 50 -year -old mother in tote.

Say, hello, can we party with you guys?

Oh, right.

Yeah, she should have been back by now.

She just ran down to the house to grab a few things.

Dude, Santa Monica is only two hours away.

Yeah. I mean, not that I can complain.

A little alone time is really hitting the spot right now.

Speaking of which, if all is so perfect in Cancun, what the hell are you calling

me for?

Geez, geez, I was just kidding.

Seriously, you'd think I'd be able to...

Hey.

No, sorry, I just...

Laura, I'm going to have to call you back.

I think the neighbor's dog is in the yard again.

Yeah, yeah, I'll call you right back.

Bye.

Damn it, John!

Hey, hey, sorry about that.

Oh no, it was just the neighbor's dog.

It's totally annoying.

He's always breaking into our backyard.

Yeah, just knocked over a bunch of stuff.

Me first. You next.

No problem. Just call me back. Bye.

No!

No!

Oh!

Good morning.

Kate with a K. Did you catch Dodgers fan last night?

I'm actually a Giants fan.

Actually, you have no Christmas bonus.

How are we looking this morning?

Great, just getting ready for Big Bear.

Really? Yeah.

I'm going to meet the infamous Lauren.

Yes, yes you are. I'm going to pick her up around 11.

Awesome. Speaking of which, what time you got?

Um, 822.

Okay.

How do you feel about closing the shop around noon?

Amazing. All right.

Okay, I'm going to go take care of business. Catch you in a minute.

Is it weird?

Is it cool that I'm going, you know, with Eddie?

Are you guys okay with that? I mean, if it's not, then... No, no, no, no. It's

cool. Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, it's cool.

No, we're going to Big Bear. Okay.

We're... We're going to be there.

Okay. Okay.

Oh, there he is.

In the flesh, baby. What's up? How you feeling? Living large.

Perfect, man. You ready for some mountain air or what? You bet your ass I

Oh, me too. Can't wait.

Hey, I know it's Lauren and I aren't spending the weekend alone either. Hell

yeah. You know how I roll.

If that's how you roll, why are you whispering?

Because you touch yourself at night.

Thinking that makes you feel better? Go with it.

Like balls.

Don't be telling me about your Saturday night, Eddie. Hey, man, great time.

You're lost.

Yeah.

So is everything ready to go or what? For the trip? Yeah.

Owner's going to stop by any minute, drop out your keys, and pick up a check.

Very nice. Very nice. What time are we heading out?

Talk about the check I'm going to write.

Okay. Yeah.

The check I'm going to write.

Yeah, it's about the check you're going to write.

What, you need some lotion? Your dry skin's acting up?

I'm really glad we're gonna be spending the weekend together.

Me too.

So I was thinking maybe you could help take care of some of the damage,

some of the load.

Dude, I have no fucking clue what you're talking about. I'm talking about going

halves, you cheap son of a bitch. Just keep it down.

What you been your tight ass for?

The biggest tight ass in the world wouldn't be able to sleep at night

got laid on someone else's dime. Dick.

You're going to write that check whether I go or not.

Yeah, but it just so happens you are going.

So man up quit being a bitch.

Oh, bitch, huh?

I'd rather be a bitch than an Indian giver. Now you're a tight -ass racist.

How?

Indian giver? Yeah. They're Native American.

Your grandma's Native American.

My grandma's so nice to you. I know. I'm sorry. You should be. Tell her to say

hi. That was rude. She makes the best afternoon snacks.

She does. I know. Oh, that's so good. Oh, God.

So, uh, cabin, one o 'clock, meeting up? Yeah, that'll work. Perfect.

Kate, what's up? I don't mean to interrupt or anything.

No, never.

What's going on?

There's a guy to see you about the cabin.

Can you show him the conference room, tell him I'll be right in?

Got it.

Why are you being such a bitch? Why are you being such a bitch? I cannot believe

you're such a... Oh, you were gonna say Jew. Oh, I was not gonna say Jew. Yeah,

you were. You were gonna say Jew, I saw it. I was not. Yeah, you were.

You're paying for food and gas.

Fine. Fine. Fine.

Fine. Fine. Fine. Tight ass. Racist.

Mr.

Fidget!

Talk to me.

Yeah, I'm almost down. Be right down.

Whatever you tight -ass racist.

Yeah, you stay, too. I gotta go.

Peace.

Fucker.

So I'm finally gonna get to meet the infamous Kate.

That's funny. She said the exact same thing about you.

What?

How did I come up?

I don't know, maybe the fact that we're going to spend the entire weekend

together? What did she say?

So I'm finally going to meet the infamous Lauren.

Don't be a jerk. What?

I meant, other than that, what did she say?

Nothing, really.

Why not?

Babe, I don't know, and to be completely honest, I don't care.

I'm telling you right now, I'm not putting up with any bitchy attitude.

I'll put her in her place.

That's fine.

I'm being serious.

I know you are, but I bet you a thousand dollars when you meet each other,

you're going to be all smiles.

Is that right?

Yeah, that's right.

You got proof of those thousands of dollars.

Whatever.

Let's go.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, good afternoon, ladies.

Beg me, bitch.

Hey. Hey, what's up? This is Kate.

Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm Lauren. Nice to meet you, too.

How's it going? You guys ready? Excited? Oh, yeah. I'm so excited. I'm really

sick of thinking about school. I just want to get the hell out.

That's exactly what I said.

Huh.

Cool. So what are you studying?

Journalism. You?

Chicano Studies.

Yeah. Haven't really decided what path to take yet. Oh, hey. It's never too

late.

Sure.

Alright,

finish the meet and greet in the car. Rush hour, let's roll!

Alright,

anybody got to take a piss?

Too fucking bad.

Dude, there's a stop in like 15 miles.

You gotta go, you gotta go.

So have you guys been up to Big Bear before?

Yeah, once when I was a kid.

I've never been.

You come up here a lot?

Yeah, about three times a year. My dad's big on camping.

Nice. Yeah.

So you know any horror stories about the woods?

Maybe.

Come on, guys. I get really freaked out about this kind of stuff.

Oh, you party pooper?

No, I'm being serious.

Party pooper?

This really did happen.

What happened?

Are you sure you guys want to know?

You're right. Never mind.

Party pooper.

Go ahead.

Okay, so me and my family, we always stay at the same cabin. We rent it out

lawyer guys.

Well, we rented it out one weekend, and suddenly the guy calls and he has to

cancel. And he asks if it's okay if we move it back towards the next weekend.

So we move it back towards the next weekend, and my dad's trying to get a

of him to get the keys.

The guy never returns his calls.

So the weekend comes and goes, and we still don't hear from him.

And that's when we hear it on the news.

The lawyer's son took his friends up there and stabbed them to death one by

And then he returned home as if nothing happened.

Of course, the parents' children were wondering where their kids were.

They ended up finding them buried in the woods.

Yeah, and we never stood in that cabin again.

What happened to the son?

I have no idea.

Who died?

Wow.

Oh, my God. It is absolutely gorgeous out here.

It's amazing, isn't it? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, don't worry about it. We'll get the bags.

What is that, man?

Yo, Eddie.

What's up? Let me ask you a question.

You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

What's up?

How'd you wipe your ass?

Dude, do you think Kate's wondering the same thing?

Well, the way I see it, if she's not wondering how you wiped your ass, she's

probably not the type of girl you want to be messing around with.

Fuck, man.

I had to eat a fucking Fiji burger, man. Fuck.

What am I gonna do?

How'd you wipe your ass?

Well...

You're a sick man, Eddie.

Ingenuitive. That's why you're my partner, but you're a sick man.

What do you think I should do? Should I bring it up in conversation?

Like try to laugh it off maybe or something?

Yeah, fuck it.

Yeah, but you should probably wash your hands, you know, before you try and take

things to the next level.

Yeah?

I'm sure that would work.

Let's start.

Hey, do you need help? Yeah, I'm going to go wash my hands real quick.

Okay.

I love it up here.

My dad used to take my sisters and I up here for the weekend.

Yeah? Yeah.

You see that cabin over there?

Uh -huh.

That was the first cabin we ever vacationed at.

How many times have you been up here?

I don't know.

But my sister Kara always used to take us to tree bark homes.

She hates her about being a weirdo, but I bet you if you'd asked her, she would

know. Yes.

You see this scar?

Jesus, look at that.

Yeah, it's not that big. It's huge.

I'm surprised your head didn't fall off.

Yeah, well, I got it playing hide -and -seek in front of the cabin.

It's little, but it's not quite crazy, actually.

I was kidding.

Well, my dad always warned me about coming up here. He said, the lake let

keep your life and it could take it at any minute.

You mean that's kind of harsh?

Yeah, but it's my dad.

He's always scaring the shit out of people.

Weirdo.

It's off you.

I never met my dad.

I'm sorry.

It's not like I'm crippled or anything.

Well, maybe emotional.

Really?

No. I'm just kidding.

Why, you are such an asshole! I know, sorry, I had to do it. I'm sorry, I

Yeah, I don't like you anymore.

Oh, come on, I was just kidding. I was just joking.

Alright, but in all honesty, though, I was never really that close to my dad.

I mean, I always made up stories about him giving me fatherly advice and all

that, but... I don't know.

I guess it's pretty cool that you and your pop share some good memories, you

know?

What?

I don't know whether to believe you or not. I'm being serious.

Okay.

So I'm going to ask you a question, and you don't have to answer it if you don't

want to. I wipe my ass with a sock.

What?

Earlier. You know, in the car?

Um... Okay, well...

I was going to ask if you thought it was a good idea that we see each other.

I needed this so bad.

Yeah, me too.

I wonder how Eddie and Kate are doing.

I'm sure they're fine.

As long as Eddie doesn't bring up shitting on the side of the road.

You're one to talk.

What?

Do you remember when we first went out?

Yeah. Seafood restaurant. The umbrella?

No, before that when we were still just friends.

Uh, coffee in the park?

Bingo.

Yeah. We drank coffee, we talked, and somewhere in there you fell madly in

with me. That is not how I remember it. Oh, really?

Why don't you enlighten me then?

My memory serves me right. I distinctly remember a certain someone having way

too much coffee.

You're going to put that on?

And then you went over to the nearest tree.

Farthest tree. Oh, okay. You went over to the farthest tree and emptied your

bladder in front of me.

I was comfortable around you.

We only met the week before.

Yeah.

You know, I was a little surprised that you took my call the next day.

So, how'd it go?

Dude, everything was going great. We could have one of those, you know, kind

bonding moments.

Oh, bonding.

Is this like dry English wit bonding or tell each other your dreams bonding?

I'm going to go with the latter.

You want my honest opinion?

Please. A man should never shit where he eats.

Never, under any circumstances, shit where you eat.

You know why?

Are you being serious or is this some of that dry English wit humor?

Because the odds of getting shit smeared on your steak are 100 to 100.

That means it's going to happen, Eddie.

Fuck, dude.

You tell me this shit now?

You know, fatherly advice like this would have been a bit more valuable last

week, you dickhead.

You know, what's done is done.

I mean, you told her how you felt.

You wiped your ass with a sock.

I mean, you're just going to have to let things go the way they'll go.

All right, well, what if everything goes good up here and then horribly bad back

home?

Well, I guess we get another receptionist.

Yeah? And this time, can we get an ugly one?

Well, yeah, we could. Or, I know this is going to sound crazy.

Maybe you don't make little Eddie make all your decisions for you.

Okay. All right. I know how to make this a good weekend.

Okay.

So Sam and I met in college.

And, yeah, some class, fuck, I don't remember what course it was.

Some fucking elective. There you go, yeah, some fucking elective.

All right, so anyway, we became pretty good friends after that, and it was only

a matter of time before drinking got thrown into the plaza.

Cheers to that.

So there we are, you know, drinking and drinking and drinking.

And soon I started to notice that Sam was starting his own business as soon as

he had about five beers on.

You're a dick. No, seriously, it never failed. He'd get all excited and loud.

And then all of a sudden, stop.

What?

That's supposed to be me?

That is not me.

Bullshit. Never failed. Every time. I swear.

I probably actually accepted this job a good 20 times, man.

That's not the way it happened.

Bullshit. Wait, wait, wait. So how did I get hired up?

Yeah, well, for the longest time, it was just Eddie and me. And then, like,

shit, out of nowhere, we drastically start picking up.

We start mixing meetings with potential clients, which leads to losing money,

and then boom, two weeks later, you join the team.

Do you ever think about working at the office?

Oh, no, never. No way. Two people in a relationship working the same office is

just asking for trouble.

So, um, let's play a drinking game or something.

Yes!

I got a drinking game. All right. It's called The Drinking Dart.

Oh, man, dude, no.

I don't like where this is going.

The first time I made up this game, Eddie and I were at some bar up in

What was that?

Third year of college.

Anyway, he can't stand it because he never ends up remembering anything after

the fourth and fifth darts.

Oh, that sounds like fun.

All right, so how we play is we each grab a business card.

Hey, man, go get some paper and a pen.

No.

I'll get the fucking paper.

So we put our business cards up on the dartboard, wherever we want, and then

take turns each throwing a single dart.

Now, if you hit a business card with your dart, the owner of that business

takes a shot.

If you hit your business card, you take two shots.

Now, we could play with beer to make this last longer.

Yeah, I want to go first.

$500.

Does I pass out in half an hour?

No, I think my money's on Eddie.

Oh, thanks.

Okay.

Wait, by the way, why did you put the company's address on there?

Well, it's supposed to be business cards, not name tags.

Oh, man.

All right.

I hate this game so much. You do not have to drink that. No.

Yeah. No, I have to drink this.

I have to because if not, we're just a bunch of animals.

Apparently. We're just a bunch of big drunk animals.

And that's not going to happen.

Yeah. So cheers to Los Angeles.

Cheers.

Let's go for a walk, man.

You're the boss, boss. No, you're the boss.

You are the boss.

You give my paychecks. All right, walk it. All right. Walk it. Get over here.

All right.

Goodbye. We'll be back.

We'll be right back.

Bye.

How you feeling?

Quite lovely.

How are Sammy doing tonight? Did he tell you I've been a good time?

Yeah, for sure.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Guess what?

I'm getting late tonight.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Cheers to that shit.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Mm.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh.

I'm all right.

I'm 100 % okay.

I got it. I got it. We'll do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll do it.

I'll go

Well,

I know you guys don't want to go so I figured we'd go up to tell the afternoon

come back

Good morning, sunshine.

Did you sleep all right?

What the hell are you guys doing up so early?

Well, we were just talking about what we're going to do today.

We're going to wake you.

I knew that game was a bad idea.

There's still a lot of breakfast left over.

That's not going to happen.

How about a shot?

Dude.

Make you feel better.

I'm going back to bed.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God.

He's coming.

Oh, my God.

He's coming.

He's coming.

He's coming.

It's all right.

She's been stabbed. She's been stabbed. We've got to get a hospital.

We've got to get a hospital right now.

Where's the phone? It's inside.

It's inside.

We'll get you to the hospital.

We'll get your help getting inside the car, okay?

There's no reduction.

Keep trying. Keep trying. Go. Come on. We've got to go.

Can we lift you?

Come on. All right, Eddie.

Let's go. Come on, we gotta go. All right, pick her up, Eddie.

Easy, easy.

Okay, pass me aside, pass me aside.

Grab the door, grab the door.

Girls, let's go!

Hey, get in the truck, Kate.

Detective Jacobs.

How you holding up?

Well, I guess that's a pretty silly question at this point, right?

Right.

Wow, you're 24 years old.

You know I got a son that's about your age?

You know, whenever he wants to leave the house at night, I get this bad feeling

in the pit of my stomach.

I mean, it's not like my boy is involved in drugs or gangs or anything like

that. I mean...

I caught him in a drinking bid one or two times, but nothing's really ever

beyond that.

Now, my wife, she has always, well, ex -wife, I guess, for now.

But anyway, she's always saying, yeah, yeah, just let him be.

Let him be young.

But that's just it.

I know what happens in the world.

I've seen the ugly side of society.

You know, a couple years ago,

There was this kid, you know, came up to stay at one of the cabins up here with,

you know, some friends.

One week later, we're digging bodies out of the woods.

I mean, I guess what I'm trying to say is the world's an ugly place.

Now, I mean, it can be beautiful, you know, to keep your nose clean and keep

your head out of your ass.

But there's an ugly side, a darker side.

And I'm sorry you had to see it today.

What happened to the girl?

Abby?

She died in the hospital.

I'm sorry, Sam.

Hey, we're going to put you guys up. We've got a few rooms at the local inn

can put you up in.

No.

I actually think I would sleep better if I just went home tonight.

You want to talk it over with your friends first?

No, they're going to feel the same way I do.

I'll have the courage to bring your belongings.

You know, things like this, they're never easy to digest.

You know, I don't care who you are.

But don't let it stop you from finding the beauty in life.

You'll find yourself missing out.

How was Lauren doing?

I talked to her yesterday, but not even for a minute.

She said she just wants to be alone.

I told her to call me if she wanted to talk, but... How's Kate?

She had a class today.

Yeah, that's right.

How's she doing?

She's alright.

She's really freaked out, you know.

Yeah, I do.

How are you?

Too soon, man.

Just give it a couple weeks and I'll feel like a bad dream.

I sure hope so.

No more cabins?

But if I go the rest of my life without seeing another cabin, I'll die a happy

man.

I'll drink to that.

Two minutes. I'm almost ready.

Babe, come on. I still got to pack my shit. My mom told me to tell you to

by the way.

Your mom's not here?

No, she'll take my brother to the doctor.

Ooh, hey.

You know what I'm thinking?

What? I think we should take advantage of the house being empty. Help me! Is

that right?

Yeah, that's right.

It's coming from the guy who's in such a rush to get home.

Five minutes.

Three. If you do that one thing.

Help me! How about we save up for tonight?

Two minutes.

Yeah? Yeah?

Got it!

Yeah. I'll be ready in two minutes.

I'll hate you.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, baby.

Yeah, I'll come right now.

Okay.

Every once in a while, I have these nightmares where I'm running from

evil.

I can't see it, but I can just feel it in my bones.

I just keep running.

I'm running.

But every time I turn around, it just keeps coming after me.

And it suddenly feels like something is holding down my legs, and I try to

escape it, but I can't.

And then just before the evil reaches me, I wake up.

I feel like I can't wake up from this nightmare.

These things happen, and you need to know that there's nothing any of us

have done to avoid this.

He could have not have gone in the first place.

The people who think that way never leave their house.

I feel like I should have never have left.

I won't say that.

Everything's going to be okay.

I don't think we should be together anymore.

You don't mean that.

I do, but I don't. I just...

But not right now. I'm just really confused.

This is bullshit.

Please, don't take that with me.

Every time I think of you, I think of what happened. Every time I think of

happened, I think of you. I really just need to be alone for a little while.

Your mom's been putting this bullshit in your head. Don't bring my mom into

this. She's the only reason I can think of that you would make such a stupid

fucking decision. I haven't told her. I haven't told her anything.

I just... Being in a relationship is the last thing that I need right now.

Don't. Stop it.

You don't have to say anything. If that's how you really feel, I'm not

try and stop you.

Thank you.

If you want to...

Thank you.

She left me, man.

What?

She called me over to her house so she could let me go.

Well, where the fuck did that come from?

I don't know.

Fuck her.

Maybe this was meant to be.

Agreed.

What's so funny?

Nothing, dude. I just keep thinking about the cabin, dude, and the trip we

Okay.

Well, it's just... I fantasized for the week before about what would happen

between me and Kate, you know?

I imagined I'd have this nice dinner.

I'd crack a joke or two that would A, make everybody laugh, and B, make her

think, wow, this is one charming motherfucker sitting in front of me.

I think I'm gonna... No, wait.

I know I'm going to give myself to him tonight.

You know, and then we'd head into the living room, have a couple of drinks.

I'd play a few songs on the acoustic, Beatles, you know, all of them sung to

her.

And then at some point during my set, I don't know, maybe fourth song in, she,

without warning, mind you, dragged me into one of the rooms upstairs, which

the most candles in it.

Ah, but instead I spent the entire day and night puking because of that fucking

drinking game you made up, man.

Oh, man.

I'm sorry, man. I swear to God, dude.

I came to devil's work, you know that, right?

Can you even play the guitar?

Hey, man, it's my fantasy. I can do whatever the fuck I want.

I could have perished into that fucking cabin, bokeh in hand if I wanted to.

I gotta get out of here, man. I can't stay here.

Yeah, you should go, man. I'll hold down the fort.

What about you?

What about me?

Are you gonna go home at all?

Nah.

Nah, I need this, man. If I don't stay busy, I'm gonna start climbing the walls

or something.

Alright, man.

I'll hit you up later on.

Alright?

You're a good guy, Sam.

Even if you're a tight -ass racist.

Tightly locked out of yours.

She's a sneaking crime female. She fired her.

And I suppose George is quizzing him, too.

A little.

I think he feels a deep resentment because you cut him off from your work

He's an opportunist, not a scientist.

I don't trust him, nor I don't.

They're both spying on me.

I'm not here. I'm in bed. I've been in bed an hour. An hour. You understand?

Oh, won't you come in?

Thank you. Is Professor King here?

I'm sorry, he's asleep.

He went to bed an hour ago.

Oh, I see.

Are you sure the professor's asleep?

Tell him that Ted Baxter's here.

It's urgent.

What do you want him for?

Please tell him.

Bye.

What are you doing there?

I had to see you.

So glad you did.

I was sitting in class and all I could think of was holding you.

Just what?

What? I got something for you.

What is it?

Well, I know how much you love your veggie burgers, so I decided to bring

something special.

What kind is it?

Veggie.

Deluxe.

That's all.

Kate.

Will you marry me?

Yes.

Kate. What?

Eddie, you're scaring me!

Let me get the Fiji Deluxe Special Extra Onions.

Extra Onions.

Anything to drink?

Just give me a diet.

You want to Fiji -size it for 79 cents more?

Yeah, sure, why not? Let's do that.

All right, man.

Your order will be out in a few, and I'll ring you up. All right, perfect.

can you put some ketchup in the bag for me? You got it. Thanks, man.

Hey. Hey, you.

What's going on?

Nothing. I just got back from school.

You?

Oh, you know, I'm just patiently waiting for my Fiji Deluxe special.

I probably could have guessed that.

I'm not predictable, huh?

When it comes to Fiji Burger, oh yeah.

Totally.

How are you feeling?

Tired.

I haven't really slept.

Yeah, that's probably what you need.

I know that's what I need right now.

Yeah, a few days in a coma would do me a lot of good right now.

Yeah, that does sound pretty good.

So, how are things at the office?

It's good. You know, it's quiet right now.

Do you remember what you asked me at the lake?

Yeah, I remember.

Yeah, well, I've been thinking about it and I don't think it's such a good idea.

Where is this coming from?

I don't know, I just... I just think things are complicated enough right now,

you know?

Hello? Kate?

Yeah, I'm here.

What do you think?

I think you're right.

Friend?

Friend.

All right, well, I'm going to grab my grub real quick and hopefully slip into

one of those comas you were talking about.

I'll see you tomorrow?

Yeah.

All right.

Bye, Kate.

I have a letter of

introduction to the head of the College of Oceanography here, Professor King,

which explains why I'm here at this particular minute.

I was on my way to see Minnie's home and I stumbled in onto this.

Oh God.

Hey.

Hey, Kate.

How you feeling?

Yeah, me too.

Where's Eddie at?

He hasn't come in yet.

You wanna get a quick cup of coffee or something?

Yeah.

I'd like that.

Yeah, me too. Let's go.

Alright.

I drive you by?

Sure.

You know, I spent the whole day yesterday replaying everything that

my mind.

Over and over and over.

It'll get better.

All things do with time.

I just keep thinking about everything that led me up to us being there.

It's like, what if I had done this and what if I hadn't done that? And it all

leads back to the same answer.

I was destined to be there.

My dad told me to be careful every time I go up there.

Guess it wasn't my time.

I can't explain it, but, you know, I think us being there may have stopped

man from killing another person that day.

Lauren's a lucky girl.

Yeah, let's not go there.

Sorry, I just... No.

I think I'm going to head back to the office.

Yeah, if it's okay with you, I'm going to hang out here.

Yeah. Hey, I'm gonna take off soon.

Yeah, okay, cool.

Look, about what happened earlier, I don't want anything weird between us.

No. Kate, the two friends helping each other out through a rough time.

Right.

Good night, Kate.

Good night, Pam.

Don't wake up Sam.

So I take it we're not really on our way to hang out with some chicks.

What do you think?

You know, I see it, but I don't believe it.

How did you manage to pull this off?

You know those business ideas I've been throwing around?

Yeah, the 12 Shots Deep, I'm going to open my own web design company?

Somebody actually took them serious.

Dude, I'm proud of you, dude. What can I say?

Congratulations. All right. Thank you, man. Thank you.

So where do you go from here?

You mean we?

Yeah, I like the sound of that.

I mean, fuck, dude. I've already accepted this job like a thousand times.

I just don't want to assume anything, you know?

Yeah. Assume you're a dick.

Assume you're a dick.

Come on, man. I'm just messing with you. Yeah, you're never going to let me

forget it either, though, are you?

Honestly, no.

Not happening.

It's my future out of front, though, after all, huh, asshole?

Yeah, I guess so.

So are we going to go inside or sit here and stare at the fucking sign all day?

You ready?

Hell yeah, I'm ready.

Let's check this shit out.

Oh, I left the fucking keys in the restroom.

You're here?

If I was superstitious, I'd tell you pretty much your Texas location.

Yeah, I'm going to heck your ass, too. You can keep it up. Oh, I won't. Get my

ass out of this.

So what are we going to do now?

Alright, get in the glove box.

Ah, I see.

Okay.

You know, I wanted to give you the tour and then smoke them in the front door.

So what's it sell for the parking lot?

So I take it from the cigars that you spend all your money on office supplies.

I got nothing to say to you, man.

Well, I got something to say.

Okay.

Here's the many successful years at this location that you have successfully

had.

All right, nicely put.

Here. Here.

Allocated us some money for a receptionist. We don't need no fucking

receptionist. Come on now.

Yeah, you're probably right.

Of course I'm right.

Dude, we could spend that money on way better things, dude, like that titty

joint we passed like two blocks from here.

What better place to start the job on?

Right? Better bring those applications, baby.

Woo!

Yeah. Fucking love this life.

Hey, bud.

It's me.

Do you want to give me a call back when you get this?

There's nothing serious.

I want to shoot the shit, you know?

Alright, hit me back.

Thank you.

Knackers!

Josie recently became single again.

Now I know what you're thinking.

Finally, right?

No, but seriously, you guys sent in some very nice words of encouragement as I

go through this exciting and beautiful path of self -discovery and personal

fulfillment.

Along with your very kind words, you also sent me some very interesting

questions that I will...

I really enjoy watching your blog.

Okay, blog is short for video blog. I think you are very pretty and very

I am sure that your future is filled with many possibilities.

Don't let yourself be tied down.

Sincerely, yours, Head .71

Okay, well, I guess that wasn't really a question, per se.

But I'm still going to comment on Hed Dogg's 71 comments.

grappling with the relationship in regards of how I felt.

And yes, I know grappling is a wrestling term, but that's

how my heart felt.

Like it was grappling.

Some might call me selfish.

Some might call me a bitch.

Some might even call me a weirdo.

Is this a book?