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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,330 --> 00:00:08,330 Sergeant Winslow? 2 00:00:18,270 --> 00:00:22,670 Why, Lieutenant Murtaugh, you look dapper. 3 00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:25,810 Yes, I do. 4 00:00:26,070 --> 00:00:27,070 I'm a dapper dude. 5 00:00:29,650 --> 00:00:33,050 How can I help you, sir? You can help me celebrate. I just bought a new car. 6 00:00:36,199 --> 00:00:37,199 Whoa. 7 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:39,040 Wow, what a beauty. 8 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,740 Yep. 1969 Pontiac Firebird convertible. 9 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:44,740 Are my dreams. 10 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,040 That must have cost you a pretty penny. 11 00:00:47,420 --> 00:00:49,300 Yeah, I'm in hock up to my ascot. 12 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,280 That baby was worth it. 13 00:00:52,580 --> 00:00:54,100 Not a scratch on her cherry. 14 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:10,780 Can you get your money back, sir? 15 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:17,160 Winslow, you recognize that person that just hit my car? 16 00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:19,840 I believe I do, sir. 17 00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:22,540 Hi, Mom. 18 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:33,760 Carl, Carl, somebody popped their old piece of junk right in our driveway. 19 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:37,580 Now, here's their license plate. 20 00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:39,560 track them down and chew them out. 21 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:42,900 Hello, Lieutenant. 22 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:44,380 Nice ascot. 23 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:06,220 It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper 24 00:02:06,220 --> 00:02:09,889 page. Love and tradition of the grand design. 25 00:02:10,490 --> 00:02:13,510 Some people say it's even harder to find. 26 00:02:14,710 --> 00:02:20,550 Well, isn't there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls? 27 00:02:22,030 --> 00:02:23,570 It's all I see. 28 00:02:23,950 --> 00:02:25,430 It's a tower of dreams. 29 00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:28,530 Real love bursting out of everything. 30 00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:36,610 It's the bigger love of the past. 31 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,540 Hey, Waldo, let's try and pick up some chicks. 32 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:53,840 Forget it. 33 00:02:54,380 --> 00:02:55,259 How come? 34 00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:56,340 We might get a hernia. 35 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,040 We should start off slow and maybe bench press some little kids. 36 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:05,918 Yeah, right. 37 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,160 I guess I wasn't thinking. 38 00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:10,420 Later, man. 39 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,540 I'm going to lay some moves on Cheryl Hansen. 40 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,280 Hey, baby. 41 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:28,560 Everything okay? 42 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:30,720 No, it's not. 43 00:03:31,300 --> 00:03:32,400 Well, what's the matter? 44 00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:34,900 I can't talk to girls. 45 00:03:35,260 --> 00:03:37,380 Every time I'm around them, my mind goes blank. 46 00:03:38,660 --> 00:03:39,880 Can you imagine that? 47 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,440 Actually, yeah. 48 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:49,520 Have you ever had a date? 49 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,580 I got close once. I almost went to the movies with Vicky Vanderfanny. 50 00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:56,730 You mean Hickey? Mickey. 51 00:03:58,930 --> 00:04:02,030 Yeah, but I was so nervous when I asked her out that before she could answer, I 52 00:04:02,030 --> 00:04:03,030 barked all over her shoes. 53 00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:08,190 Gee, I hope they weren't suede. 54 00:04:10,270 --> 00:04:13,030 You know, I might as well face it. When it comes to girls, I'm a loser. 55 00:04:13,550 --> 00:04:15,490 No, you're not. You're just a slow starter. 56 00:04:16,010 --> 00:04:17,089 I'm a no starter. 57 00:04:17,730 --> 00:04:20,190 I once had a 976 number hang up on me. 58 00:04:25,470 --> 00:04:27,260 Waldo? I'll be right back. 59 00:04:27,540 --> 00:04:29,000 Yeah, that's what they all say. 60 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:33,680 Laura, I need your assistance. 61 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,900 I want you to talk to Waldo. I'm worried about him. 62 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,240 Aren't we all? 63 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:39,900 No, no, really. 64 00:04:40,420 --> 00:04:46,040 He's real down on himself. And he could use a few kind words from a lovely lady. 65 00:04:47,780 --> 00:04:48,820 Uh, Steve. 66 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:52,100 Look at his poor, pathetic face. 67 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,260 He's so sad. he can depress Richard Simmons. 68 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,100 Well, hello, boys. 69 00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:02,620 What'll it be? 70 00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:04,700 Two root beer floats. 71 00:05:04,980 --> 00:05:05,980 Make mine a double. 72 00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:09,120 Bad day, Lou. 73 00:05:09,780 --> 00:05:12,620 He just bought a classic convertible and had a little accident. 74 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,520 Little? Little? 75 00:05:15,780 --> 00:05:16,780 Who'd you run into? 76 00:05:17,020 --> 00:05:18,280 Somebody ran into me. 77 00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:20,520 Tell her, tell her, tell her who ran into me. 78 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:21,960 Go ahead, tell her. 79 00:05:24,270 --> 00:05:25,270 My mother. 80 00:05:26,110 --> 00:05:27,130 Mother Wendell? 81 00:05:27,770 --> 00:05:28,770 Is he all right? 82 00:05:29,310 --> 00:05:30,830 Mrs. Knievel is fine. 83 00:05:34,390 --> 00:05:36,130 It's my car that's suffering. 84 00:05:37,210 --> 00:05:38,390 Is it smashed bad? 85 00:05:38,650 --> 00:05:41,790 Bad. If I want to see the taillights, I got to open the glove box. 86 00:05:44,690 --> 00:05:48,890 No, no, I mean it, Waldo. You have a lot of qualities girls really go for. 87 00:05:49,790 --> 00:05:50,790 I do? 88 00:05:51,150 --> 00:05:52,150 Like what? 89 00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:06,620 You are very... Anthem? 90 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:13,860 Let's just put it this way. 91 00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:18,280 You have the perfect face for your head. 92 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,420 Oh, cool. What else? 93 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,360 Well, you're sweet and you're sensitive. 94 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:32,680 You're courteous and you're kind. 95 00:06:33,580 --> 00:06:34,580 I am? 96 00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:36,599 That's right. 97 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,240 You know, I think you're one of the nicest boys I ever met. 98 00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:42,460 Oh, shit. 99 00:06:42,660 --> 00:06:43,660 You really mean it? 100 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:44,960 I sure do. 101 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,480 From the bottom of my heart. 102 00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:54,240 Now, Waldo, did Laura perk you up a little? 103 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,840 She sure did, but now I got a bigger problem. 104 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,040 Well, what's that? 105 00:06:58,060 --> 00:06:59,060 Laura's in love with me. 106 00:07:21,330 --> 00:07:22,330 We do? 107 00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:24,310 Well, don't think you're in love with him. 108 00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:25,810 What? 109 00:07:26,890 --> 00:07:29,350 What in Sam Hill did you say to him, woman? 110 00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:35,670 I just wanted him to feel better about himself, so I gave him a few 111 00:07:36,170 --> 00:07:41,190 Well, obviously the big dilute mistook your compliments for expressions of 112 00:07:43,570 --> 00:07:44,570 Oh, great. 113 00:07:44,710 --> 00:07:47,330 Look, you got me into this. Now how am I going to get out of it? 114 00:07:50,730 --> 00:07:52,930 And do it before he falls in love with you. 115 00:07:53,610 --> 00:07:55,310 Oh, come on, Steve. That won't happen. 116 00:07:56,170 --> 00:07:57,790 Oh, foolish woman. 117 00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:03,050 You underestimate the awesome power of your beauty. 118 00:08:03,410 --> 00:08:06,950 Well, I know better than any man the inescapable spell that you cast. 119 00:08:10,270 --> 00:08:14,150 Steve, look, stop it. I've known Waldo for years and he'd never be interested 120 00:08:14,150 --> 00:08:15,530 me. Oh, are you sure? 121 00:08:16,550 --> 00:08:20,590 Positive. The day Waldo falls for me is the day I eat my science book. 122 00:08:31,190 --> 00:08:32,289 Hello, Laura, my love. 123 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,510 Bon appetit. 124 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:55,320 Clothes are red. 125 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,220 Violets are blue. Here. 126 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,000 Thanks. 127 00:09:11,940 --> 00:09:12,940 Plastic. 128 00:09:14,140 --> 00:09:15,140 They last longer. 129 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:17,740 Especially if you change the water every day. 130 00:09:19,940 --> 00:09:21,220 I'll be sure to do that. 131 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:43,520 Laura, I know I'm just wasting my time, but would you like to kind of maybe go 132 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:44,520 out with me? 133 00:09:44,820 --> 00:09:46,560 Sort of tomorrow night, maybe? 134 00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:49,180 Now let him down easy. 135 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:54,260 Sure, Waldo. Not that easy! 136 00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:00,300 Great, I'll pick you up at 7 .30. 137 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,980 Waldo, how could you do this to me? 138 00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:06,160 I'm sorry, Steve. I know how you feel about Laura. 139 00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:09,640 But like they said in the movie Love Story, love means never having to say 140 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:10,860 sorry, Steve, but I'm taking your chick. 141 00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:17,100 Waldo? 142 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:21,020 You're actually going out with Waldo? A Waldo? 143 00:10:21,260 --> 00:10:22,260 Baldo? 144 00:10:25,340 --> 00:10:26,340 That's right. 145 00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:29,840 Allow me to quote the 25th letter of the alphabet. 146 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:31,320 Why? 147 00:10:35,820 --> 00:10:38,180 I've been trying to convince Waldo that girls find him attractive. 148 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,940 I couldn't turn right around and refuse to go out with them. 149 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,260 Well, why not? You refused to go out with me for the last decade. 150 00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:48,820 Well, that's because you have self -confidence. 151 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,120 I can turn you down without destroying your ego. 152 00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:56,040 Well, isn't that just a fine kettle of fish? 153 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,350 out by the curb for pickup. 154 00:11:42,390 --> 00:11:45,970 If it isn't those new sweethearts, Waldo and Laura. 155 00:11:47,130 --> 00:11:49,050 Would you like to order some grub, bub? 156 00:11:50,550 --> 00:11:51,550 Ladies first. 157 00:11:52,330 --> 00:11:54,390 Waldo, is it okay if I have a cheeseburger and some fries? 158 00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:01,390 How bad do you want the fries? 159 00:12:03,370 --> 00:12:04,890 Oh, what the heck, go for it. 160 00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:09,110 And what'll you have, Waldo? 161 00:12:12,490 --> 00:12:13,490 Water. 162 00:12:15,690 --> 00:12:16,850 Coming right up. 163 00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:20,490 Want a dance? 164 00:12:20,670 --> 00:12:21,670 Sure. 165 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,480 Slowly. Hey, I'm a rebel. 166 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:27,480 Oh, really? 167 00:13:27,780 --> 00:13:30,100 Is that why you kept booing during the movie? 168 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:31,960 I was upset. 169 00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:35,680 We drive all the way across town to see The Prince of Ties, and there wasn't one 170 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:36,680 bit of surfing. 171 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:40,980 We should have went to see GIFT. 172 00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:45,660 Oh, you mean JFK. 173 00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:58,070 know how it's spelled. 174 00:14:08,270 --> 00:14:12,550 Laura, our relationship just is not working out. 175 00:14:15,030 --> 00:14:16,030 It isn't? 176 00:14:16,370 --> 00:14:17,370 Uh -uh. 177 00:14:17,910 --> 00:14:21,550 Listen, I appreciate the nice things you said to me, but we're just not a 178 00:14:21,550 --> 00:14:22,550 romantic couple. 179 00:14:24,850 --> 00:14:25,850 Really? 180 00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,190 See, Laura, stop begging. 181 00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:36,190 It tears me apart. 182 00:14:37,650 --> 00:14:38,650 I'm sorry. 183 00:14:39,770 --> 00:14:41,330 I'll try to pull myself together. 184 00:14:45,210 --> 00:14:48,190 I know you're upset, but you'll find another guy. 185 00:14:49,490 --> 00:14:53,270 Oh, Waldo, thanks for letting me down so gently. 186 00:14:53,890 --> 00:14:55,950 No, thank you, Laura. 187 00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:58,280 You're my first date and I'll never forget you. 188 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:05,600 What? 189 00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:10,500 Yes? 190 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,860 Your ring is stuck in my teeth. 191 00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:37,350 How was your dream date? 192 00:15:37,970 --> 00:15:39,910 Not so hot. Waldo dumped me. 193 00:15:40,210 --> 00:15:41,210 See, Dave? 194 00:15:41,290 --> 00:15:42,970 I mean, darn the luck. 195 00:15:44,270 --> 00:15:47,850 Steve, that's enough. I'm tired and I want to go home. It's been a grueling 196 00:15:47,850 --> 00:15:52,850 night. Well, uh, now that Waldo's out of the picture, does that make me your 197 00:15:52,850 --> 00:15:54,110 number one reject? 198 00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:59,130 Sure, Steve. There's no one I want to say no to more than you. 199 00:16:00,370 --> 00:16:02,210 Whoa! We have... 200 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:07,700 You know, Winslow, I've been thinking. 201 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,840 Your mother's just plain too old to drive. Oh, she is not. Is too. Is not. 202 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:15,880 too. I called the DMV and found out her driver's license number is seven. 203 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:23,320 Lieutenant, I would appreciate it if you would stop with the mother driving 204 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:26,600 jokes, okay? You know, you put that woman in a tank, she'd win the Medal of 205 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,540 Honor. All right, that's it, Lieutenant. 206 00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:30,300 Quit dissing my mama. 207 00:16:32,430 --> 00:16:34,810 Oh, gentlemen, is there a problem here? 208 00:16:35,010 --> 00:16:38,490 Hey, I will say whatever I want, whenever I want. Oh, yeah? 209 00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:40,970 Yes. Anybody want a frozen banana? 210 00:16:41,550 --> 00:16:44,830 Lieutenant, you apologize to me right now. And what if I don't? 211 00:16:45,390 --> 00:16:48,390 Then I'm going to do my best to stuff you into this coffee mug. You better 212 00:16:48,390 --> 00:16:49,390 a lot of help. 213 00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:52,310 Don't break that china. 214 00:16:53,190 --> 00:16:55,470 Now, here's a thought. 215 00:16:56,090 --> 00:17:01,850 Why don't the both of you grab a nice cozy booth, and I'll bring you to... 216 00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:04,839 A big slice of pie. 217 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:08,520 Pie. I love pie. 218 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:19,780 You want some pie, Winslow? 219 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:22,980 You wouldn't dare. 220 00:17:23,819 --> 00:17:25,300 Oh, I wouldn't, would I? 221 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:27,700 Here's your pie. 222 00:17:43,470 --> 00:17:44,470 Chocolate cream, delicious. 223 00:17:45,590 --> 00:17:50,930 But I've got a different kind of pie for you, Lieutenant. 224 00:17:52,370 --> 00:17:53,269 Oh, really? 225 00:17:53,270 --> 00:17:59,250 What kind of pie would that be? Oh, it's called humble pie. 226 00:18:36,590 --> 00:18:37,590 not alone. 227 00:18:47,990 --> 00:18:50,870 One pie, two guys. 228 00:18:51,690 --> 00:18:53,630 Which guy's gonna get the pie? 229 00:18:54,850 --> 00:18:58,190 Place your bets. Drop it, nerd. 230 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:36,880 Look at us. 231 00:19:37,420 --> 00:19:39,060 Two of Chicago's finest. 232 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:40,880 Throwing pies. 233 00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:45,480 Winslow, I'm sorry. 234 00:19:45,780 --> 00:19:48,580 I shouldn't have made disparaging remarks about your mother. 235 00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:51,980 I have great respect for you, and I should show respect for all the other 236 00:19:51,980 --> 00:19:52,980 members of your family. 237 00:19:53,060 --> 00:19:55,380 Well, I appreciate that, sir. 238 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,880 You know, that's very big of you to admit when you're wrong. 239 00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:59,019 Yes, it is. 240 00:19:59,020 --> 00:20:00,100 I'm very big that way. 241 00:20:01,620 --> 00:20:02,620 Friends. 242 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,080 Friends. 243 00:20:05,710 --> 00:20:12,350 And to show you just how sorry I am, Carl, 244 00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:16,870 this pie is for you. 245 00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:32,630 You know, sir, that's quite a gesture. 246 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:33,970 Thank you. 247 00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:43,420 But you know, I'd like to match that gesture with a gesture of my own. 248 00:20:46,660 --> 00:20:47,660 Lieutenant, 249 00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:50,960 this pie is for you. 16817