Original subtitles

Now the world don't move.

You don't need just one drum.

What might be right for you may not be right for some. One man is born.

He's a man of need.

Then along come two.

They got nothing but the genes.

But they got different strokes it takes. Different strokes it takes.

Different strokes to move the world.

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

We don't matter that you got not a lot.

So what? I'll have theirs and you'll have yours and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine. Because it takes different strokes to move the

world. Yes, it does. It takes different strokes to move the world.

There. All done.

Property of Arnold Jackson.

697 Park Avenue, Earth.

Boy, Arnold, that's some neat science project.

Come on, let's launch it now.

No, Sam.

Lift off is in Central Park at exactly 1 ,300 hours Saturday afternoon.

Well, maybe that's better. At least the paint will be dry by then.

All right, Sam.

Now.

All I have to do is check the shutter speed on this camera.

What's that for, Arnold?

Well, it's a miniature camera that fits inside the rocket. When it's up in the

sky, it'll take pictures.

Of space creatures?

No, Sam.

Unless it gets a shot of Woolies.

Now, Sam,

how many times have I told you to keep your pet mouse out of my rocket ship?

Give me a break, Sam. That rodent just doesn't have the right stuff.

I was down in the storage room and I packed up some of your old things for

charity auction.

You're not going to give away my teddy.

You still love your teddy bear. Isn't that adorable?

Do you still have your old choo -choo train?

No, I sold it.

And they named it Amtrak.

Dad?

You've got to talk to Sam. He's getting too attached to that dumb mouse.

Arnold, you're addressing a man who saved his teddy bear for 45 years.

Good point.

Arnold, how's your science project going?

Great. If my rocket doesn't dazzle him, setting it off with the remote control I

built sure will.

Very impressive.

Thanks. Hey, Dad, can I use your tripod?

Oh, sure.

It's in my closet.

Unless someone's giving it away to charity.

I'll get it.

Imagine building a remote control.

When I was a kid, we didn't even dream of that.

Well, you didn't have to, dear. You had your teddy.

You take your nap in there and I won't tell Arnold.

And Herman, don't snore.

Remember Arnold's temper. If he finds you, you could end up a mouse burger.

Okay, Dad. I got it. Watch it, Herman.

It's Arnold.

Code red.

All right, Sam.

Give me the camera.

Now get off the balcony. It's restricted.

Restricted? To who?

All red -headed twerps.

All right, Arnold. I know and I'm not wanted.

Hi, Mama. Hi, Mr. D.

Oh, hi there, Sam.

How you doing, sugarplum?

Terrible. Arnold's acting real grouchy.

Oh, he's...

nervous about his science project.

No, he's not, Mr. D.

Arnold's just mad because Herman looks more dignified than him.

He just missed Connie Chung's apartment.

I'll see that you get another rocket ship.

Sam, I'll see that you get another mouse, okay?

But there's only one hermit.

He's the only mouse that we saw with a dimple.

You've just got to get it back, Mr. D.

Phillip, maybe we should call the police.

They might have gotten a report on it.

I guess it's worth a try.

Drummond, 697 Park Avenue.

I was wondering if any of your officers might have spotted a rocket ship.

No, no, no. Not a real rocket ship. This is a model. But it does have a real

mouse in the nose cone.

And a mouse has a dimple.

And he's wearing an aluminum space suit.

Well, thank you very much.

What'd they say, Phillip?

Said they haven't seen any rocket ships, just a couple of dinosaurs down on 41st

Street.

I'll get it.

Hello? Is this the Drummond residence?

Yes, it is. Can I help you?

We're looking for Arnold Jackson, 697 Park Avenue, Earth.

a pretty good idea of where it is.

He'll tell you.

Oh, that's great news.

Please, come in, gentlemen. Thank you, sir. Thank you.

Where's Herman?

Ah, this little one must be Sam McKinney.

Excuse me. May I ask who you gentlemen are?

Yes, ma 'am.

I'm Jenkins.

That's Armstrong.

State Department.

State Department?

Hey, Nancy must have heard I'm a pretty good scientist and sent the big boys

down to pick my brain.

Not quite.

Is there some kind of a problem?

Some kind.

It seems that Arnold's rocket crashed through the window of the Soviet

delegation to the United Nations.

It's breakfast time.

Would you like to try some?

Yeah. A little sweet, a little crunchy.

Great.

This is very good.

I like this.

What do you think?

What's in this stuff? It's the perfect combination of crispy flake, crunchy oat

clusters, and just a touch of honey in every spoonful.

I guess I'll get the milk.

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Now we can get that kind of chicken at McDonald's.

So, what's the word?

McDonald's has got Southern -style taste in the bag. You said it, girl.

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Iron Man.

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See, folks, the rocket crashed through a skylight during the middle of a big

staff dinner.

It landed between the borscht and the chicken Kiev.

They called the fire department, who in turn called the bomb squad, and the

entire building had to be evacuated. It was great. We got pictures of every one

of them racing out of the building.

Sure beats hanging around gangster funerals.

I mean, you can just spin out. I'm done.

Bottom line here, the Russians are pretty upset.

Oh, great.

Not only am I going to flunk science, but now the Russians are after me.

Arnold, I think you're exaggerating.

Maggie, your face is not going to be hanging in every Russian post office.

Stop complaining, Arnold. They've already got Herman. I'll bet he's

halfway to Moscow.

Just hope he's wearing a fur hat.

You better hope he isn't a fur hat.

Forgive me, everybody, but I think this is just plain silly. After all, this

rocket ship was just a child's school project.

Rest assured, Mr. Drummond, we're convinced that Arnold isn't trying to

overthrow any foreign governments.

Oh, of course he isn't.

Arnold gave that up years ago.

Look, why can't you just go to the Soviets, explain to them what happened,

them please to accept our sincerest apology for any inconvenience we may

caused them, and could they please possibly return the spaceship and the

And if that doesn't work, I say storm the embassy.

I'm sure there'll be no problem. These people must have a sense of humor.

When's the last time a Russian made you laugh?

Not since Khrushchev.

We do have a snag, ma 'am. Boys, I'm sorry. We have some bad news.

Yes, the Russians won't return the rocket or the mouse.

They're pretty miffed about the whole thing.

They got over the Cuban Missile Crisis.

They'll get over this, too.

I hope so, ma 'am. But you see, the camera that Arnold hid in the rocket got

them to thinking about spying.

Spying? I don't believe that.

That's ridiculous.

Arnold, you didn't put a camera in the rocket ship.

And another thing.

The mouse got them to thinking about germ warfare.

Germ warfare, now that is absurd.

Maybe not, Mr. D.

Herman did have a cold.

Mr. Jenkins, you've just got to get Herman back.

You've just got to.

I'm very sorry, Sam.

But, uh, the... They're shipping everything

back to Russia. They're going to inspect the camera and examine the mouse.

Why? You two and the State Department are going to stand around and let this

happen to my son's mouth?

No, no, no.

Please calm down.

Well, Philip, do something.

Something should be done. If you're not going to do it, I am.

It's just outrageous hanging on to a child's toy and a pet.

I'm going to go down there and give them a piece of my mind.

And if that doesn't work, I'll give them a backside full of buckshot.

Mr. Drummond, Mrs. Drummond, the United States State Department would frown on

that. We frown on a great deal.

Well, it just doesn't make any sense.

I'm sorry, sir. We can go back and make some more phone calls, but I don't think

it's going to change anything.

Well, we understand.

We do.

I don't.

I wish things could have worked out better.

It's days like this I wish I were a fireman. I wish you were, too.

Precious, I know this is terrible, but sometimes things happen that are out of

our control.

But what does it have to be?

Can't someone go down there and talk to him?

No, Sam.

You heard Mr. Jenkins. It's useless.

But Mr. Jenkins doesn't know about a secret weapon.

What's that?

Your big mouth.

See, Sam, Arnold just can't go down there and talk to the Russians. It's not

that simple.

Listen to the man.

See, what we're up against is we're... Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Maybe it is that simple.

What you talking about, Dad?

See, I think if a child could talk to the Russians, they might change their

attitude. Come on, Arnold.

You're the best talker in the whole world.

You can talk to anyone and do anything.

Well, I can't argue there.

But I'm still not going.

Now, look, Arnold.

If we could arrange this through the State Department, and that's a big if,

if we could, I think it's worth a try.

Okay.

Okay.

Don't you think it'd be better if Sam talked to him? I mean, his red hair

matches their flag.

I love winning. You know, you want to win a championship game.

Josh has good hands. Sometimes he just loses the ball. It's not my game.

Two words, Chief.

Contact lenses.

Pretty subtle about that. Yeah, subtle as a ham. I thought they were dry and

uncomfortable. No, you don't even feel them. I tell Josh about AccuView Oasis.

Doctors know AccuView Oasis is the only lens with HydroClear Plus. That means

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Uh -huh.

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We do.

We do.

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Mr. Drummond, Arnold, right on time.

Everything is set. You'll be meeting a Mr. Dushenko. That's his aide right

there. We'll be right outside if you need us.

Thank you.

Don't go too far. I guess you can keep in touch with headquarters.

Headquarters? I'm listening to the Nixon Lakers. They're in overtime.

Mr. Donald, please come forward.

Good afternoon. This is my son, Arnold Jackson.

This is your son.

America is some melting pot.

Interesting to meet American boy who caused building to be evacuated.

And make for me to miss my one afternoon off this month.

Sorry.

You know, we really missed you guys at the Olympics.

We miss you, too.

Please, wait one moment.

Da.

Mr. Doshenko says for you to go in.

Here we go.

No, no, no, no.

It's just for little boy to go inside.

Hold your horse key.

Now, wait one minute. I am not going to let him go in there alone. Oh, he's not

to worry, Mr.

Doshenko, nice man.

He tell me so himself.

I think I'd rather go in there and face whatever's in there instead of going

home and telling Sam I didn't try.

Well, I'm very proud of you. I'll be waiting out here.

Hello?

Harmon, is that you?

Buy wheat.

Drink vodka.

And

Ivanovich

Toshenko. Hi.

My name is Arnold Jackson, and please, you must understand, it wasn't me.

It was my little brother Sam.

your stepbrother, Sam McKinney. Eight years old.

Born in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Right.

How'd you know all that?

The KGB.

They know everything.

The KGB?

Be seated.

Doesn't do you any justice.

Kitchen?

Sir?

You mean the same in Russian as it does in English?

You could do better in school.

Especially in biology.

Right, I gotta buckle down.

I was told that the rocket with the camera and the mouse in it was just a

harmless child science experiment.

That's right. You can't get any more harmless than me. See?

So, uh, just give me the rocket and the mouse. I'll be going.

But, uh... I knew there was a but.

The State Department says they'll prove it is harmless.

They say for me to meet the boy who made it.

And here I am.

Oh, it's nice meeting you, Mr. Doshinko, but if you just give me the rocket in

the mouth... But... Another but.

There is the possibility that your government was trying to fool me and put

-year -old on the payroll.

Our government would never do that, and neither would your government.

Oh, yes, we would.

may be the problem. I mean, if you do something like that and we do something

like that back, well, everybody thinks everyone's lying and nobody trusts

anybody.

It is a big problem.

Well, when you talk to Arnold Jackson, you get the straight truth.

I don't work for anybody, unless you're kind of a little red -headed peanut at

home who has tears in his eyes, who can't understand any of this.

Now, I want that mouth and that rocket, and I'm not leaving until I get them.

Is that so?

I could just take the mouse and you could have the rocket.

I believe you, Arnold Jackson.

You do?

Better than this than I thought.

Thanks, Mr. Doshinko.

You know, things would be a lot better if people could talk to each other one

one.

I like.

Then we wouldn't be so afraid.

of one another.

You got that right.

Arnold Jackson.

End of mouse crisis.

Thank you, sir.

Uh, where's my rocket?

Oh.

Such a nice rocket.

I have a grandson back in Moscow.

Where did you buy it?

Well, I got it at... Give it to your grandson.

Tom is from his friend Arnold in America.

Be sure to tell him not to aim it at the American embassy.

Is good?

Is good.

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some. For many boys, he's a man of ease.

Then along come two. They got nothing but the genes.

They got different strokes to take, different strokes to take.

the best martini in town, but I've also got great reflexes. You get a little

tipsy, I'll be there to catch you.

Even if you don't get tipsy, I'll be there to catch you.

Malcolm? Hi.

Just one second.

Malcolm, you know I'm...

Hopelessly drawn to you.

However, I have a problem.

Now, when I agreed to come back and work for you, you promised that I would rule

with unquestioned authority in the kitchen. Right, right. Now, there is a

gentleman in there who is washing his hands over my Australian prawns. That

ain't no gentleman. That's Hector.

He just finished the oil change.

Oh, hey, okay, do me a favor. Cover the bar while I try to protect Hector from

getting hit in the head with a meat mallet. No problem, brother.

What's up, sexy?

What can I get you?

Long Island iced tea, please.

Ah, it's my specialty.

What go in that again?

Equal parts rum, tequila, vodka, and gin. A dash of triple sec. I like mines

with fat paid ice and a lemon twist.

Sounds like a lot of work.

How about a beer?

Isn't it quite funny, Barney?

They just won't leave you alone while you're sitting inside your home.

covering for me, man. But do me a favor. Next time, tell Hector to take his

sponge bath someplace else other than my kitchen.

No problem, man. If he asks me, your little chef lady's overreacting.

He can do nothing but wash his armpits.

There you go, big guy.

Thanks, Eddie.

You know, this banana daiquiri I ordered looks a lot like beer.

That's the way I make them.

Mmm.

hypnotist. See, Malcolm, if you believe, you can make them believe.

I wish my job was as easy.

Oh, wait.

You saying my job is easy?

The way you do it.

You know, standing back here has got me to realize one thing. You could be

making more money here in the bar.

Is that so?

Well, enlighten me now that you've been a bartender for 45 seconds.

I'm serious, man.

You know, we're partners, right? Uh -huh. If you make more money, I'll make

money. Right.

Let me tell you a couple of things it's been.

Going through my head.

Oh, well, go ahead, unload, because I'm sure your head must be crowded with two

things in there.

That's too funny.

First off, there's a whole lot of empty chairs in here, man.

This is a bar, Eddie. It's 2 .30 in the afternoon.

So you can move happy hour up. As a matter of fact, you can have a whole

day.

But why stop at happy? We can take that day you're talking about and make it

downright hysterical.

Now you're thinking.

Hysterical Tuesday.

You're hysterical, but I forget that you spend all day inhaling exhaust.

All right, let's just face it, man.

You mad because I can do your job. You can never do mine.

Really? Really. Well, let's see about that. You know that $1 ,200 tax return

corporation is getting at the end of the month?

I was hoping you forgot about that.

Why don't you say we trade places for, I don't know, maybe a week.