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This is a man who almost learned to walk at a rehab center that almost got built
by people who almost gave money.
Almost gave.
How good is almost giving?
About as good as almost work.
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Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum.
What might be right for you?
May not be right for some, but man is born.
He's a man of needs.
Then along come two.
They got nothing but the genes, but they got different strokes to take.
Different strokes to take. Different strokes to move the world.
Everybody's got a special kind of story.
Everybody finds a way to shine.
It don't matter that you got not a lot.
Hey,
Sam, come here. Take a look at our birthday gift we got for Dad.
Isn't it neat?
Real neat.
So, Sam, what are you imagining, Dad?
I already told you I can't tell you. Oh, come on, Sam.
You must be getting something really big, because you and Maggie acting real
strange, even for Southerners.
Come on, Sam, give.
It is big, and it's a surprise.
Sorry. Oh, come on, Sam.
I mean, you gotta tell. I mean, what good is a secret if you can't tell
Hello, hello.
You got home just in time, Mama. I was getting lots of pressure.
Did they try tying you to an anthill?
Worse. Oh, baby.
Well, Sam, you're home free now because our surprise is out in the hall. Where's
Phillip? He's upstairs.
Phillip Drummond, front and center.
Be right down.
Maggie, will you give us a hint? Is it animal, vegetable, or mineral?
I guess animal.
Well, that animal better be house trained or I quit.
What's going on? I came as quick as I could.
What's happening?
Now, Philip, I know your birthday's still two days away, but Sam and I want
give you a present now so you can share it with the whole family.
Now? Really?
Yeah. But that's not the same as getting it on my birthday. No, I think I'd
rather wait.
That's what I said. The sooner the better.
This is worth the wait.
Let him try and top our port -a -butler.
You're making me open my presents.
Oh, wow, this is great. Kimberly, that's even better than a can -can dance.
You must be starving. What can I get you? Well, I'm really into French food
but, Pearl, I would just love to have one of your sloppy joes. You got it.
go extra heavy on the slop.
Maggie, Sam, thank you.
I still can't believe my daughter's really here.
Me neither. Daddy, you look terrific.
Thank you, sweetheart.
And you look as handsome as ever. I've always looked as handsome as ever.
She was talking to me.
How was she talking to you? She was looking at me. You're down there. I'm up
here. I'm handsome. No, you're not. I'm gorgeous, too. But I got all the women.
I see nothing's changed around here except maybe your heads have gotten a
bigger.
You're right, Willis. She was talking to you.
muscles, too.
The second grade voted him hunk of the year.
It's getting harder and harder to push him around.
Well, Miss Kimberly, it sure looks like Paris agrees with you. Oh, it sure does.
If I didn't have a family with birthdays, I'd probably never leave
Ah, Paris, ma vieux, absolument fantastique.
Does that mean you like it?
Daddy, it's wonderful.
Oh, I've just seen so many different things.
Strange Victim's unusual, people.
But you've got that right here with Willis.
On the next episode of The Wire.
We got something that you wanted. It's coming back to you. Free of charge.
You're big. You're not big enough. I got a problem. I can't bring no one else.
The Wire.
Tonight at 9 .30. Right here on BET.
You're sitting on the couch, you're watching TV, and your life's passing you
You keep procrastinating over and over. Well, maybe I'll go to school next year,
maybe next semester. No, do it right now. They'll work with you after work,
you can go before work. You can do whatever you need to do to graduate. Go
to somebody right now. They out to help you. You spend all day on the phone
anyhow. Why don't you make a phone call that's going to help you in your future?
All you got to do is pick up the phone and make the call.
Why are you making it complicated?
It's easy.
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Hi, welcome to progressive .com.
Honey, what's all this? Insurance.
Progressive motorcycle insurance.
RV insurance?
Uh -huh.
Boat insurance.
But we don't have any of those things.
Well, actually, I do.
We do.
We do.
Surprise!
Let's bag these up.
Saving you money so you can buy more toys. Now that's progressive.
Call or click today. Welcome to McDonald's. May I help you? Yes, two
-style chicken biscuits.
McDonald's has chicken for breakfast now? You heard right. Oh, that reminds
of my nana's chicken. When she made me chicken biscuits, she'd break out her
hands all the season.
Mickey D's seven -style chicken biscuits.
Chicken biscuits for breakfast.
This biscuit tastes homemade.
And the chicken is so juicy.
And seasoned just right.
Uh, is that them?
Good night,
buddy. Good morning, Dad.
Milk's favorite cooking.
And the River Seine runs right through the center of the city. Oh, Paris has
to be the greatest city in the world.
You wouldn't have said that if you'd been to Tulsa.
Who cares about a bunch of rivers and cathedrals? I want to know about those
French women.
You'd love them, Willis. As often as I could.
I just see myself now.
Every time a mademoiselle walked by, I'd give her a little tilt on my beret.
Ooh -la -la, foxy mama.
I'd be the biggest attraction since the Eiffel Tower.
Yeah, tourists would pay good money to climb your eagles.
Here it is, Kimberly.
Oh, thank you, Pearl. Daddy, here's my present for you. Oh, Kimberly.
I didn't need anything besides your being here.
What an elegant wrapping.
I don't think it's a tie.
Uh -oh.
You don't think she stole the Mona Lisa?
Come on, Daddy, open it. Well, then I won't have anything to open on my
birthday. You still have Arnold and Willis's.
All right.
Oh, it's the Drummond family tree. Thank you, Carol. Oh, you're welcome.
You know, they say if we go back far enough, we're all related.
Right, little bro?
Give me five.
Make some fresh coffee.
French roast.
I hope you like it, Daddy. I thought it'd be a little different.
It's different, but it's definitely Dad's family tree. Look, instead of
it's got dollar bills.
Mama, is the family tree what they hung great -great -great -uncle Harley from?
No.
Sam, honey, that was an oak.
History is a chart of Philip's heritage.
It traces his ancestors all the way back to the beginning of his family.
And we've had a pretty famous family, too. Right.
See, Sam, my great -great -great -great Uncle Philip was instrumental in helping
Washington cross the Delaware.
Boy, he sounds pretty brave, Mr. D. Not that brave, Sam. He sold him the boats.
And there's my grandfather and my grandmother, my mother, my father, me,
sister. Her husband, Glenn, Mitch, Albert, and Mazelban.
There's Kimberly, and there's Willis and Arnold.
Hey, and there's Mom and me.
This is really neat.
Hey, Dad, shouldn't there be more empty boxes under us for the future?
We don't need any more, Willis.
You see, Sam will carry on the McKinney name, and you boys will carry on the
Jackson name, but I am the last one to carry the Drummond name.
What about Kimberly?
Well, Sam, someday if Kimberly marries, she'll probably change to her husband's
name.
Right.
Well, that's kind of sad, Dad. You're the last male drumming.
Oh, it's no big deal. I mean, we can't always expect things to work out just
way we anticipated they will.
Yep. I never thought I'd end up with a little red -headed brother who break
dances to Slim Whitman.
Well, I could sure use a good night's sleep.
Philip, are you all right?
Oh, sure. I'm just a little tired. Had a big date.
Well, I'm with you.
Good night, all.
Good night. Good night,
Carrot Top.
Good night, Kimberly.
Good night, Maggie. Good night, Daddy. I'm going to hang out with Willis Nardo
for a while, catch up on things. Okay, sweetheart.
I'm really glad you're home.
Oh, Daddy, it's nice to be home.
Good night, boys.
Good night, Dad.
Good night, everyone.
Boy, Dad seems a little sad over that name thing.
Well, Arnold, it really is sad. Our family goes back over 500 years.
And after Daddy, that's it.
I wish there was something we can do to make Dad feel better.
Yeah.
Hey!
I just got a great idea.
It'll make Dad feel better and it'll be his best birthday present ever.
You're gonna sew your mouth shut.
Not that often I get such a great idea.
That's for sure.
All right, listen, here it is.
Willis, what if you and I changed our last name to Drummond?
Change our name?
I don't know, Arnold.
But on the other hand, it would give Dad someone to carry on his name.
Tell someone.
Oh, Daddy would really love that.
You know, Arnold, it really is a great idea.
You know what, Dad? That's a surprise.
That's great.
Come on, let's tell Dad about it right now.
Dad,
we've
got another big surprise
for you. Another surprise? How much do you think I can take?
This is the best birthday ever.
Dad, Willis and I decided to give you us.
Thanks, Arnold, but I already have enough.
No, Dad, what Arnold means is we have decided to change our name to Drummond.
What?
Well, that's wonderful.
Are you sure you want to do it? It's a big step.
We're sure, Dad.
Well, I... I think he likes the idea.
This is incredible.
I feel like the luckiest man in the world. How can I ever thank you?
Don't worry, Dad. We'll figure something expensive.
Daddy, isn't this great? Now the drumming name really will live on
It sure will, especially the way Willis operates.
Well, this is just terrific.
I hope you boys know how much this means to me.
Oh, of course we do, Dad.
Hey, let me see how it sounds.
Arnold Drummond.
A .D.
The big A .D.
Hey, that's noble. That's classy.
That's me.
That's both of you.
Well, I probably can't fall asleep now, but I certainly have to give it a try.
Well, Kimberly, you're about to sleep like a log tonight.
It's almost four in the morning your time. Oh, really? I don't feel tired at
all.
Just kidding. I really am very tired.
Bonsoir. Good night. Good night, Dad.
Good night, Maggie.
Well, Willis, we sure made Dad's day.
Boy, did you see how happy he was?
I wish we had thought of this the year we gave him that ant farm.
Hey, Willis, what's wrong?
Arnold, I made a big mistake.
Uh -oh, Willis.
I hope you're not going to say what I think you're going to say.
Can't change my name.
You said it.
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At 7, host up with a different world, a different Monday Laugh Attack. Memorial
Day at 9.
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What up here is ridiculous?
Arnold, don't you ever get misty -eyed for our old home?
Yeah, from all this dust.
Arnold.
Well, if this isn't our old home, this is just a shell, a wreck.
Arnold, this is where we grew up.
They're knocking down our building.
They're knocking down our roof.
What if our roots don't knock us down first?
Look, Arnold.
That corner was our bedroom.
I remember when we had the cats all pushed up against the wall.
Yeah. Actually, it was kind of nice.
When we got sent to our room, we didn't have to go anywhere.
I remember on Sunday nights, we always stood around here in the kitchen.
You, me, Mama, Papa.
Papa used to tell us old stories about when he was in the war.
Look, Arnold.
First, Mama and Papa passed away, and now they're tearing down our building.
on top of that, we're giving up our name.
Dad may be the last of the Drummonds, but we're the last of the Jacksons.
But you already promised Dad.
Do you know how badly you're going to hurt him?
Yeah, I know.
Well, I know it's a hard thing to do, but that's what makes the gift so
to Dad.
The pits.
Look, Willis, we have to think of Dad.
I mean, look at what he's done for us, the life he's given us. If it wasn't for
him, we'd be sitting right now in this condemned building waiting to play catch
with a wrecking ball.
Yeah, but what about Mom and Papa?
They worked so hard to even give us this much.
Yeah, that's true, Willis. But did you see how Dad's face lit up when we told
him we were changing our names?
Yeah, I saw.
Look, Willard.
For the first time, we have a chance to do something for Dad. Instead of buying
some stupid gift with the allowance money he gives us anyway.
We can't let Dad down.
Look, Arnold, I love Dad as much as you do.
I just can't go through with this.
Well, I hope when you break the news to Dad, you don't break his heart, too.
Well, stopping in New York is still as much fun as ever. You seem to enjoy
yanking that blouse out of that lady's hand.
You know, in Paris, the people are much classier than that. They say, excusez
-moi, mademoiselle, and then they yank the blouse.
Well, I noticed when it was time to pay the bill that nobody yanked that out of
my hand.
Now, fella, you helped to run it up, too.
You did buy that package of life favors.
Kimberly, after listening to you rave about Paris all afternoon, I'm ready to
get on the plane.
I'm with you, Mr. D.
Paris sounds cool.
Come on, let's go try on these things.
Let you and I go in the kitchen. You can try on some of this French vanilla ice
cream that Kimberly bought.
All right!
Boy, Willard.
You were real spaced out on the way home.
You didn't even notice when they closed the subway doors on your face.
I was trying to think of a way to explain this to Dad.
What are you going to do?
You think running away and leaving a letter behind would be cowardly?
Oh, the same way you dumb girls?
Thanks, Arnold.
You know, maybe we're making a big deal over nothing.
Maybe Dad was just being nice to us.
You know, I'll bet you he's forgotten about this by now.
Hi, guys.
Well, I've started the ball rolling on the name change.
My lawyer says he'll have all the papers ready for me to sign on my birthday
tomorrow.
Listen, guys, I have been on cloud nine all day.
You hear that? Cloud nine.
He doesn't even have on his parachute.
Good luck.
Uh, Dad, you got a minute?
Oh, sure.
I got more than a minute.
Willis Drummond.
Dad,
it's kind of hard for me to tell you this.
What's the problem, John?
Well, see, it's just that... Hi.
Kimberly's got a problem.
Kimberly? Mm -hmm.
Willis, how did you know?
Oh, uh... Brother just knows these things.
What is it, Kimberly?
Well, Daddy, Paris is great and everything, but... Oh, I really missed
know it sounds ridiculous, but I missed everything.
It's very natural. Even now.
When I go on a business trip, I get homesick.
That's only down to Wall Street.
You can come home any time that you want to. I love you, and the door is always
open. Thank you, Daddy.
I think I'm going to go back and finish the semester at school, and after that,
you just might be seeing my face around here. Super.
Listen, you don't have to pretend.
You know you can always come to me.
Thanks, Daddy. I guess I forgot.
Thank you, Willis. You know, I've got to learn to be as open about things as you
are.
Right.
Hi.
Hi.
Well, have you talked to Dad yet?
Nope, not yet.
Well, I think you better hurry up or else he's going to fall asleep.
Well, he's not going to take it hard at all.
I've changed my mind. I'm taking Dad's name.
You are? Hey, Willis, that's great.
What made you change your mind?
I just couldn't hurt Dad.
You know, he's done more to keep the Jackson line going than a man could have
done in a million years.
Kept you and me together.
Yeah. I can't imagine life without you.
Although it would have been nice to have my own room.
I just hope Mama and Papa understand.
Hey, Willis, I'm sure they understand.
Come on, man, let's go to bed.
Nah, you go ahead, Arnold.
I just want to spend a few more minutes out here alone.
Well, I guess this is it, huh?
What do you mean?
I mean, goodbye, Willis Jackson.
Right.
Goodbye, Arnold Jackson.
Oh, my goodness, what a marvelous birthday.
We've saved the best gift for last.
Hey, maybe it'll be something neat, like a go -bot.
You could use it, Philip. You just broke your hot wheels.
Well, I guess it's time to sign the name change papers.
Yep, I have the papers right here.
Now, changing your name is a very important step.
I have given this a lot of thought and a lot of consideration.
So, here we go.
Dad! Hey!
Maybe we should have given him a go -by.
Dad, I don't understand.
I have decided that I don't want you boys to change your name for me.
But why?
What happened? I thought you wanted this so bad.
Well, I did.
When that lawyer handed me those papers and I looked at them, I suddenly
thought, how would I feel if I was in your position?
Boys, this was really a loving gesture, and I appreciate it.
But a name is an important thing.
It's part of your sense of identity. It's your link to the past, your
I know that I want to keep my name.
But, Dad, we want to do this for you. No, no, Arnold, please.
This is the way I want it now. The case is closed.
Oh, Dad, I really love you.
Dad, you are the greatest.
You're a good man, Charlie Brown.
I can't argue with that.
We still have to give Dad a birthday gift.
No, we don't.
Oh, fantastic.
Thank you.
It's just what you needed, Phil.
Absolutely. What do you think it is?
It's a port -a -baller, Mr. D. It's a shoehorn, a nail clipper, a tweezer, a
toothbrush, a toothpick, and a spoon.
How often do you have to rotate its tires?
No, I'm just kidding. No, I really love it. It's a great guy.
For he's a jolly good fellow.
For he's a jolly good fellow.
Different schools.
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