Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the feet of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some.

A man is born, he's a man of means.

Then along come two, they got nothing but the genes. But they got different

strokes to take, different strokes to take, different strokes to move the

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

We don't matter that you got not a lot. So what? I'll have theirs and you'll

have yours and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine.

It takes different strokes to move the world. Different strokes to move the

world.

to the Sandy Squirrel Show right after this commercial, so hang on to your

walnut hats.

Why did Sam look funny sitting in the nut gallery?

Yeah, wearing that stupid walnut hat.

Hey, sorry to be late, gang.

The limo broke down. I had to take the bus all the way from Wall Street to

Dad, there's no bus that wants from Wall Street to here.

Whereas if you tip the driver a hundred bucks.

For a thousand bucks, he told me he'd take me to the Bahamas.

Hey, I can't wait to see Sam. How does he look on TV?

Short, but cute. The red -headed peanut's really excited.

You know, I just can't believe it. First you, Willis. Then Arnold.

Now Sam growing up with Sandy Squirrel.

Call me crazy, but that big brown squirrel can climb up into my treehouse

time.

And now for my final magic trick, I'll need an assistant.

Hey, how about you, Sam?

Me? You mean it? You're not kidding, are you?

Does this look like I'm kidding? Come on.

Mama?

That's my son.

Isn't he wonderful?

And now for my magic trick, I'll need my wand, of course. Now, where is it? Oh,

I gave it to you, Sam.

squirrel secret.

a long time, right, gang?

Well,

I've got a bit of news.

You know, believe it or not, Sandy Squirrel isn't in charge of the woods

here at Channel 8.

In fact, there's a forest ranger who's, well, more concerned with the ratings

than he is fires.

And he had me up his watchtower yesterday and he told me that Friday is

show. Sandy Squirrel has been cancelled.

Oh, dear.

Cancelled?

What'll happen to Sandy?

Oh, come on. That lucky guy, he'll retire to a six -room tree overlooking

park.

Come on, Dad. That's not funny.

I mean, life must be tough on an out -of -work squirrel.

He could wind up in the gutter eating old beer nuts.

Come on, Sam, you little nut.

Give us a smile.

Come on. What do we sing when we're sad?

We sing this.

Sam sure was taking it hard on TV, but he can't be half as upset as I am.

Why? You don't even watch the Sandy Squirrel Show anymore.

I know, but I like anything that keeps Sam out of my hair.

Well, if Sam's upset, he should do what I do.

Take it like a trooper. Keep a stiff upper lip and eyes above it all.

what, Sam? How you feeling?

Terrible. I feel like I just lost my best squirrel.

What am I gonna do without Sandy?

Oh, come on, Sam. Honey, it's like old Uncle Beauregard always said.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Of course, one day he was hit by lightning.

You gotta do something to cheer him up.

Give him money.

You really think that's going to cheer him up?

Always works for me.

I'll get it.

Drummond residence.

Yes, she is.

It's for you, Maggie.

Thank you, Pearl.

I'll just get it in the den.

Sugar? I'll try.

Oh, hi, darling.

Sam's still real upset.

Oh, don't worry. I'll put a smile on his face.

That's right.

Then you can try and get Boy George to join the Marines.

Now, listen, Sam.

If it'll make you feel any better, when I was a kid, they canceled my favorite

show, too.

Fibber, McGee, and Molly.

Huh?

It was on the radio.

It has dials.

Only in those days, we kept them in the house and not on our shoulder.

Wrap it up, Sam.

There's nothing off that Dad tells a funny joke. Yeah.

about my exercise show, the most fabulous and wonderful and terrific

Well, are you going to tell us or do we have to wait for film at 11? Yeah, come

on, what is it? My show is moving from the cable station to Channel 8.

Yay!

Congratulations.

That's great, Mama.

Hey, Channel 8, that's a pretty big station.

And with the size of some of those women on your exercise show, you could use

the biggest station.

Channel 8 is Sandy's station.

is your show going to be on, Mama?

Four o 'clock.

Four o 'clock? Mama, that's when Sandy's on.

It looks like you're replacing Sandy.

Gosh. I didn't realize, Sam. Honey, I'm so sorry.

You should be. You're a squirrel killer.

Well?

Sam feeling any better?

it this way, Maggie. He's going to the family album cutting your picture out.

That looks pretty funny feeding wedding cake to a hole in the paper.

Hey, Sam, old pal.

Listen, there are plenty of other television shows you like to watch,

there? Like Marvin the Moose, or Calvin the Cat, or Eli the Elephant.

Oh, come on. I know you love the Eli the Elephant. Welcome.

welcome, Sam.

You guys don't understand.

Sam was more than just a bunch of cartoons.

He taught me lots of stuff.

Hey, Sam's right.

That squirrel taught me how to brush my teeth and tie my shoes.

I thought that I taught you that.

Well, I'll let you think that.

But you're old enough to handle the truth now.

Sam, Sam, guess what? We're having your favorite dessert tonight.

Hot fudge sundaes. Hot fudge sundaes? That's right. With cherries and whipped

cream and nuts.

Nuts.

Poor Sandy.

You had them till you got the nuts.

Gee, Sam, why don't you read that poem you wrote about Sam?

Yeah, hey, we'd like to hear that.

All right.

It's called Fun Times with Sandy.

Hey, that's a great title.

What a lovely thing to do. Read it for me.

I'm sitting here on my bed, picturing you up in my head.

I think of all the funny things you said.

Too bad Mama made you dead.

Sam, why don't you go easy on her and boil her in oil?

Sam, it is not your mama's fault that Sandy's show got canceled.

Well, instead of sulking and complaining and blaming, why don't you do something

positive? Why don't you start a letter -writing campaign? Try to save the show.

Now, that's not a bad idea.

That's what they did when they canceled Cagney and Lacey?

That's right. The fans sent in so many letters, they had to put the show back

the air.

You mean there are really crazy people out there that write to TV shows?

I did.

That Cagney's a knockout.

What about it? You gonna give it a shot?

You wouldn't be mad, Mama?

Of course not, darling.

I'm behind you 100%. Then I'll go for it. I'm gonna save Sandy.

You can do it, Sam, and you'll be great. You'll get petitions, you'll meet a lot

of people.

You're really going to have a lot of fun.

Will you help me, Arnold? No.

Come on, Arnold. That's what big brothers are for.

I can't hear you.

You mean a lot to him, Arnold.

No, Mr. D.

I understand.

Oh, Sam, please.

Not the high... All

right, when do we get

started?

This woman was cleaning doo -doo off me.

I started falling in love.

That just about says it all. I was smoking that, ew.

It's the B .E .P. Black Buster movie, Martin Lawrence Live. Runtel, premieres

tomorrow at 11.

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Dad, I got an A in advanced physics.

This is very disappointing.

Dad. You're burning through our wireless minutes again.

Not enough talk time in your family's wireless plan?

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Switch to the family plan with the most talk time.

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Oh, excuse me, Sandy.

Oh, my name's Philip Drummond. Oh!

Hi. Oh, you must be one of the daddies. I love to meet the parents.

Well, I just want to tell you what a wonderful influence you've been on my

You know, many times the kids will pay attention to you and they won't listen

their parents. I guess maybe I should have worn a tail all these years.

Well, thank you for appreciating all these years I've been on the air.

Yeah, well, we certainly do. And as a matter of fact, that's why we're here.

My boys would like to talk to you about a plan they have, if you don't mind.

Oh, I'd love to. Oh, that's fine. We appreciate it.

Oh, and by the way, the boys know that you're a grown -up man, so you don't

to talk like that.

Talk like what?

Here he is, boys.

I'll meet you in the car. Okay.

Thanks for the big squirrel hug, Sam.

Hey, what you got in the box, Sandy?

Oh, 20 years of squirrel memories.

It's amazing what one can collect.

Yeah. Look at this. Hey, that's you and President Nixon.

That's right. That's President Nixon pinching my cheeks.

And that's me.

Pinching his jowls.

Oh, those were the good old days.

Maybe we can stop them from canceling you.

Oh, come on. Don't toy with them.

Down and out squirrels emotions.

No, it's over for me. Finito.

Sandy, we've got everyone to sign a petition that'll help keep you on the

Oh, let me see that.

Yeah, we even got our goldfish Abraham to sign it.

He's the one where the ink ran.

Oh.

Hey! Hey, Sandy baby, how's my main squirrel?

Oh, of course, this is the station manager, John Anderson.

Hi, kid.

Bad news about Sandorino, huh?

I'm sick about it, just sick.

You should be, you're the one who's taking me off.

Uh, Mr.

Anderson, as loyal viewers of Channel 8, we'd like to talk to you about

something. Sure thing, I'm never too busy for a viewer.

Well, it's about Sandy's show. Not now, kid, I got things to do. Hey, wait a

minute, Mr. Anderson, look at this... Petition.

People are banding together.

Huge mobs in the streets yelling, Sandy!

Sandy! Sandy! Really?

How many names do you have there?

Eleven.

Eleven? That would sound more like... Sandy.

Sandy.

Look, kids, for your petition to have any impact, you'd need 10 ,000

10 ,000?

Oh, boy.

I tell you what, you bring me 10 ,000 letters by Friday morning, and I'll keep

that lovable nut -eater on the air.

But today is Tuesday.

We can't possibly get 10 ,000 letters by Friday morning.

All right, all right, Friday afternoon.

I'm such a pushover for kids.

Anyway, Sandy, I just read the script for your farewell show.

Love it, love it, I cried.

I gotta run.

Let's have lunch, and don't tell me you're not free.

Hey, that's an unemployment joke, Sandero. Lighten up. Good lovable

And where's the squirrel suit?

See? Told you it's all over for me. Time to hang up my cheeks.

Don't give up, Sandy.

Arnold and I will get those letters by Friday afternoon.

Right, Arnold?

Right, Sam.

We'll get... 10 ,000 letters by Friday afternoon.

We'll give it a big try.

Don't worry, boys.

I feel better already.

That's good.

Bye, Sandy.

See you. Hang in there. I will. Come on.

I will.

So long.

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On BET.

And I am shocked by your decision to cancel the squirrel, you idiotic pencil

neck.

Warmest regards, uh, Mr., um, Mr., um,

A.

Deedus.

Well, that's it for me. That makes 100. I'm out of here.

Well, we need 10 ,000 letters, and I have to leave for my Cub Scout meeting

soon. Hey, I'm sorry, Sam, but I gotta get going, man.

I mean, if I keep my women waiting too long, they start going through Willis

Withdrawal.

Yeah.

They get restless and they chew through their leashes.

Keep it up, Arnold.

And you're withdrawing your teeth from this.

Gotcha.

Hi, boys.

How's the Save the Squirrels campaign coming, boys?

Great, Mr.

D. Just great. We're trying, Dad.

Well, that's wonderful. How many letters do you have so far?

A hundred and twenty.

Amazing. I call it impossible.

Let's face it, Sam.

By the time we write 10 ,000 letters, Sandy will be in the old squirrel's home

gumming walnuts.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you two writing all these letters by

yourselves? Well, actually, Willis and I write them and Sam does the rest.

Arnold, you are writing a lot of phony letters.

Now, I told you this should be an honest viewer protest. And if you can't find a

way to do it legitimately, then don't do it at all.

Then it's hopeless. We'll never save Sandy.

You mean you're giving up?

Yep. It's no use. And besides that, you're getting glue breath.

So, Sam.

Sam, honey, come on. It's time to go to your Cub Scout meeting.

Okay, Mama. But the guys are going to be real upset when I tell them about

Sandy.

Hmm. Cub Scouts.

You mind if I take Sam to his meeting?

Come on, Sam.

Well, thank heavens that's all over. Sam will go to his Cub meeting and forget

all about it. Arnold doesn't have to write 10 ,000 letters.

You've got your TV show on a news station.

Finally, everybody's happy around here.

And so, Sandy, on behalf of your loyal

family here at Channel 8, I'd like to present you with this farewell gift.

A lovely walnut watch.

This is my husband.

We wish you didn't want to retire, Sandy. Please reconsider.

I'm begging you. I'm down on my knees.

Is there anything I can say to change your mind?

As a matter of fact, I didn't think so.

Oh, well, too bad, huh, kids?

Excuse me, Mr. Anderson.

Can we give Sandy a gift, too? Sure. Sounds like you're taking this as hard

am.

all those letters.

Remember the other night when Arnold came to my Cub Scout meeting? Yes, but

there are only ten scouts in your den.

I know. They call all the other troops and every scout in New York started

writing. Arnold called the scroll alert.

Pet 7, Duet Clinton.

Pet 2, Far Rockaway.

Pearl Gallagher, Park Avenue.

still going to cancel Sandy.

Oh, well, it's not that easy. Oh, hold

it, hold

it, hold it. You got to listen to them, big guy. Come out of retirement. What do

you say? What's the good word?

Raise.

Let's sing one for Arnold, and all the kids will help them. Come on, parents,

too.

Come on, gang.

Okay, everybody.

First you hop to the left, then you hop to the right. You wiggle, wiggle,

wiggle, do -do -do -do -do -do -do -do -do -do -do -do -do -do -do -do -do

-do.

Hi, I'm Mike McGinley of McGinley's Bar and Grill.

What a weasel, man. I'm sick of that commercial.

And I want to see the leprechaun do that flick without spilling any beer.

has tripled McGinley's business and put a big dent in mine.

You gotta give the guy credit for finding a leprechaun with that kind of

Did I mention that his business is doing so well that he's thinking about

opening up his own auto repair shop?

No good, Summer.

I bet you that ain't even a real leprechaun. It's probably a little

sideburns and a pipe.

You know what we need to do?

Fight fire with fire.

You're right. I'm going to call a friend of mine. We can burn him down to the

ground. No, no, hey.

No, what I meant was we need to make our own commercial.

Doesn't send a stronger message, but all right.

We do one commercial to advertise my bar and your garage. Something that says

dignity, integrity, and trust.

I got it.

Eddie Sherman.

Eddie Sherman's doing it.

It's an equestrian funny bone.

It's just gonna leave you alone while you're sitting inside your home.

best work.

It's no picnic getting older, fellas.

Who's the hat?

That's my partner, Eddie Sherman. Eddie, meet the Johnny Beaumont. Johnny

Beaumont? Man, how you doing?

Not bad, considering I got a prostate the size of a potato.

Sorry to hear that.

of your commercials, though, man. That Fruit of the Loom with the dancing

I still wear the brand. Want to see?

Put it away.

Now, Johnny, we need a commercial that will make people come in and spend all

their money. Or they can just mail in the money. Now, that would be a

commercial. Do I not know my business, Malcolm? You want to come across as hip,

right? Yeah. I can give you hip. As a matter of fact, I just got a new hip.

Excuse me again, fellas. Treasure your youth.

Hi, Eddie.

Oh, Lord.

Eddie, be nice. At least somebody cares about you.

Guys, this is my sister, Tamika. Tamika, this one's Eddie.

Oh, and this one is delicious, honey.

Oh, Lord.

Now, Malcolm, be nice. You're lucky to have a little grandma that loves you,

too.

You're moving in?

Look, Tamika, take a hint from your sister. Eddie, he's the delicious one.

No, no, no. Twin midgets.

Twidget.

Everybody says we're two of a kind, but I don't see it. For one thing, this girl

loves to yap. Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap.

Me? I'm a mom compared to you.