All language subtitles for Diffrent Strokes s06e23 The Bar Mitzvah Boy

Well, I'll be going from now on, every
Sunday, starting tomorrow, right,

Hallelujah, Sister Maggie.

But Robbie and Deadly are coming over
for lunch, and then we're going to go to

that horror festival at the movie.

If Arnold's not going to church, then I
don't want to go either.

Now, you see, you're being a very bad
influence on Sam.

Now, we are all going to go to church
tomorrow, whether we want it or not.

of course, we all want it.

Of course.

Now, don't worry, Arnold. You'll be back
in plenty of time for Dudley and

Robbie. Now it's time to go to bed.
Okay. Go to bed, son. Good night, son.

Good night.

Arnold,

do you think we should say our prayers
tonight?

Good idea.

We can pray Maggie oversleeps tomorrow.

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I really enjoyed going to your church
this morning, Maggie.

The minister was very young, but very
intelligent.

And also good looking.

Now, now, now, you're not supposed to
notice that in the clergy. They're men

God. God did a nice job on him.

Personally, I thought he gave a very
moving sermon.

Yeah, it was so moving, Arnold nearly
woke up.

I heard the sermon, wise guy.

I only nodded off during the Bible
reading.

Don't think about people doing all that
begatting. It makes me sleepy.

It sure does.

You were really sawing logs there.

I can't help it. Church has that effect
on me.

Willis said I even fell asleep during my
christening.

Not all of it. When the preacher said I
christened the Arnold Jackson, he spit

up on him.

Arnold, maybe you got bored because you
don't particularly care for my church.

Maybe you'd be more comfortable in
another one.

Maggie has a point there, son.

I'm a Presbyterian. Maggie's a
Methodist. I guess you're old enough now

exploring religion on your own and
making a choice of your own.

You mean I get to pick my own religion?

That's right.

Anyone I want?

I could even shave my head and hang out
at the airport pushing flowers.

Oh, you better give it some more
thought, and we can talk about it again

We better get lunch ready.

Arnold's friends will be here soon, and
then they'll be off to their festival of

horrors. Right.

Isn't there some other film you fellas
would rather see? I mean, worship in the

morning, warlock in the afternoon?

It's perfect, Mama. Our souls are at
peace.

So we can afford to have the pants
scared off of us.

going to change clothes.

I mean, I wouldn't be caught dead at the
movies looking nice. I'd much rather

look like you guys.

Thanks a lot.

Hey, I went to church this morning, too.
I find it spiritually uplifting,

especially when I get to confess my
sins. What sins?

Well, once I coveted my neighbor's
skateboard.

Arnold, what religion are you?

When I was little, I always went to my
mama's church in Harlem.

And then Dad adopted her, and I went to
his church a few times.

I guess you could say I'm somewhere
between a Baptist and a Presbyterian.

the difference?

About 40 blocks.

What religion are you, Robbie?

I'm Jewish.

What's that like?

Well, I guess it's a lot like other
religions, only I go to a special school

learn Hebrew.

And then after that, you get to have a
bar mitzvah.

A bar whatzva?

That's a ceremony when you turn 13.

It's great because they treat you with
new respect and dignity.

Because that's when you become a man.

They treat you like a man when you turn
13?

That's a great religion.

You can get into X -rated movies at
kids' prices.

Arnold, that's not what it's all about.

I know, but that's just one of the
friends' benefits.

Wait, is that treating you like a man
stuff?

Hey, my brother's paying bar mitzvah
next Saturday.

Why don't you guys come?

You too, Dudley. Hey, that's going to be
fun. Let's give it a try.

I think we'll have to chip in and get
him a present.

Oh, that's not necessary. You guys don't
know him that well, and he wouldn't

expect it. And I wouldn't want to see
you spend your money.

Good, neither would I.

Oh, lunch is ready. Come on, fellas. I'm
hungry. I'm so hungry.

Oh, hamburger.

He's got Johnson on the ropes.

A left to the head. Another left.

Johnson's in trouble.

A right cross. Look out.

Johnson's eye is bleeding.

Hit the bum in the labanza.

That guy's a bum.

Knocked his block off. Tear his head
off.

Kick the canvas, you turkey.

Maggie. And Johnson is down. I can't
believe this.

You watching two men pound each other
like a couple of savages? This is a side

of you I've never seen before.

I get rid of all my hostilities this
way, so I won't take them out on you,

sweetheart.

Keep watching.

Do you know how much money these guys
are making?

A couple of million dollars apiece.

What if I should go in for boxing?

Make I look like, um, Sugar Ray?

No, but if they knock all your teeth
out, you'll look like Martha Ray.

Hi, guys. How was the bar? Fantastic.

I never saw so much food in my life.

Is that why you stayed so long?

We didn't want to gorge and run.

What did you like best, Sam?

They had some great stuff I'd never
tasted before.

It was called a knish. That's Jewish
taco.

And Robbie's brother, Stephen, was
terrific.

He rattled off a whole speech in Hebrew,
and his voice didn't crack one.

Then everybody thanked him and
congratulated him and kissed him and

hand. It was sort of like a Jewish
Academy Awards.

Well, sounds like quite an impressive
occasion.

It was.

I've never seen so much love and warmth
and affection, and it was fun, too. You

should have seen all the presents he
got. A camera, a tape recorder, not to

mention all the money. He's talking
mucho dinero.

souvenirs to take home.

Yeah, the rabbi loves to keep these
Yamahas.

That's Yamaha. That's very nice of him.
Yeah.

Rabbi Morris is a great guy.

We had a nice conversation over pickled
herring.

Is that what that is?

Well, I'm sure you two had a terrific
experience.

Don't you think so, Philip?

Oh, I agree. They opened their minds to
something new, not to mention their

mouths.

And I owe it All to you, Dad.

Remember last week when you told me to
start thinking about different

I certainly do.

Well, I've thought about it, and I've
made a decision.

You don't have to take me to church
anymore.

I'm going to be Jewish.

What? Yep. I want a bar mitzvah. You
walk in a boy and come out a man.

And that's for me.

Shut up.

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Well, maybe I'll go to school next year

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whatever you need to do to graduate. Go

to somebody right now. They out to help
you. You spend all day on the phone

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All you got to do is pick up the phone
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Why are you making it complicated?

It's easy.

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I'll get it, honey. I'll get it.

Mr. Drummond?

I, uh... I'm Rabbi, uh... I'm Rabbi
Herbert Morris.

Please come in. Very nice to meet you.
Thank you. This is my wife, Maggie.

Hello, Mrs. Drummond. How are you?

Glad to see you.

Thank you for coming. Please, have a
seat. Thank you very much.

Rabbi, can we get you something?

A cup of tea, a coffee, or a little bite
to eat?

Please, Mrs. Drummond, don't mention
food.

I'm still getting over my heartburn from
yesterday's bar mitzvah.

So is Arnold.

Arnold say that young fella can really
put it away.

He made a doggy bag out of his yarmulke.

Well, you excuse me. I'm going to go get
the little fiddler on the roof.

Rabbi, the reason that I called you is
this. We've been encouraging Arnold to

think more about his religious training,
but you can imagine how surprised we

were when he announced that he wanted to
be Jewish.

Well, actually, Mr. Drummond,

blacks of the Jewish faith are not
unusual.

I just thought if you would speak to
Arnold, maybe we could find out whether

he's as serious about this as he says he
is. I'd be very happy to, Mr. Drummond.

You know, many children of Arnold's age
become intrigued with something that

seems different.

In fact, there was a time when I had
some children and... Hi, Rabbi Morris.

Hello. How are you, Arnold?

Man, that was one wild bar mitzvah
yesterday.

Yeah. How's my little comrade in
Canisius?

I think his stomach is already Jewish.

Really? Yeah, I know that you two have a
lot to talk about, so we're going to

leave you alone. I suddenly have a
craving for a hot pastrami on rye.

Would you spell for a ham on white and
we'll get the rabbi to bless it?

Holler if you need it. Okay.

Have a seat, Rabbi.

I'm sure glad that you came over.

So am I.

Arnold, if you're going to make an
important commitment like this, it

for the right reasons.

Not just because you can stay home from
school on Jewish holidays.

I never thought of that.

That's another good reason.

Sorry I brought it up.

When can I start preparing for my bar
mitzvah? I'm primed and ready to become

man. Before you become a man, the boy
has a lot of catching up to do.

You have to start going to Hebrew school
six days a week.

Won't that bother me again?

That's right. And there's a lot of Torah
and Bible study.

You've also got to learn the traditions
and the significance of our different

holidays.

And you've only got a short time before
you're 13 to learn it all.

Isn't there a crash course?

No, no, Arnold.

There are no shortcuts.

Boy, this isn't going to be easy.

It's a lot of work, all right.

But if you want this badly enough,
you'll have to do it.

Well, I guess I can try.

But there must be some relief.

What about all those holidays?

Holidays? Oh, they're wonderful.

But they're also a lot of work.

At the Passover dinner, you have to be
familiar with the entire service, which

takes about three hours. And that's
before you even eat the meal.

Three hours before you eat?

That's not so bad.

On Yom Kippur, you don't eat at all.

What are you talking about, Rabbi?

I'm talking about Yom Kippur.

You see, on that holy day, you must fast
for 24 hours to atone for your sins.

Of course, at your age, I don't imagine
you have too many.

And if you do, you ought to be ashamed
of yourself.

Don't they even allow you religious
foods, like a bagel? Not even one

noodle.

You know, Arnold, at the bar mitzvah
yesterday, you saw a lot of the joy of

being Jewish.

But what you haven't experienced yet is
the commitment.

I really think you should give it a
little more thought.

I think you're right.

Now, if you'll excuse me, Arnold, I've
got to go and conduct a ceremony.

Another bar mitzvah? Oh, no. This is not
a bar mitzvah. This is a bris.

A what?

A bris.

How can I explain? A bris is a medical
function that my people turned into a

catered affair.

where they... Yes, that's it.

That's it, Arnold. That's it. And after
that, the entire family celebrates.

Sounds like everybody's got something to
celebrate except the baby.

Well, I appreciate you telling it like
it is, Rabbi.

Well, thank you very much. I'm very glad
that I came over.

Rabbi, our little chat was very
informative.

You're right.

I learned a lot.

I'll tell you this.

If I'd have known at your age how tough
it is to be Jewish, I'm not sure that I

would have gone through with it myself.

Hi, Arnold.

Hi, Sam.

Are you Jewish yet?

Not yet, Sam. I'll let you know.

Okay, because I don't want to miss when
you start celebrating harmonica.

That's Hanukkah.

Hey, I don't... You got an extra
notebook? I'm studying for a math test

ran out of paper.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Here you go. Use it. Ah, thanks.

Oh, Willis.

Sam, I have to talk to Willis. Would you
excuse us, please?

Sure thing.

Besides, I've got to go to the bathroom
anyway.

Willis, I got a problem.

What's the trouble, little bro?

I like the idea of being Jewish, but
it's such a big deal, I'm not sure it's

me. Well, you're just a little confused
about religion.

It's not as complicated as you think.

It's not?

No. Hey, say, how am I going to visit
the church we used to go to with Mama

we were kids?

I don't remember much about our old
church.

That's because you're only five years
old and we moved away.

How about going to take a look? What do
you say?

Okay, why not?

I wonder if the same reverend is
preaching that I spit up on at my

Just in case, I better phone ahead and
tell him to wear a rubber apron.

Yeah.

I remember this now.

The old place hasn't changed much.

Yeah.

Excuse me, um, Reverend Thomas?

Yeah. We phoned you this afternoon.

Don't tell me that you're Willis and
Arnold Jackson?

Yep. He's still Willis, and I'm still
the good -looking one.

I can't tell you how good it is to see
you. Welcome back. Thank you.

Well, you remember your old church? I
sure do.

Yeah.

It's all coming back to me.

Mama used to sit right here.

I remember how good she looked and how
pretty she used to smell on Sunday

morning.

And we used to sit right next to her,
Willis.

I was too little to see the choir, so I
sat on a bunch of Bibles you piled up

for me.

I guess I shouldn't have done that with
the Bibles, Reverend.

Oh, nothing wrong with that at all,
Willis.

Bibles should be uplifted to both ends.

Would it be all right if I sat in my old
seat? Of course.

Oh, thank you.

I think I'll go take a look around,
Reverend.

Well,

When Willis phoned, he said that you've
been having quite a time figuring out

which church you should join.

It's a toss -up between Methodist,
Catholic, Presbyterian, Baptist, or

I guess you could say I've prayed
around.

Well, don't you feel bad about it. When
I was about your age, I thought of

becoming a Buddhist.

Religion sure is confusing, Reverend.

I know.

I know it seems like that, but you know,
it really isn't at all, Lionel.

You see, all religions aspire toward the
same goal, like different paths to the

same destination.

You just have to decide which path is
right for you.

How do I do that?

Oh, by continuing what you've already
started.

By asking questions, exploring all the
avenues.

You know.

I am very proud of you, Arnold.

You are?

Why? Oh, there's something very
beautiful about going to church.

But most people nowadays, they use the
excuse of being too busy.

But not you, Arnold.

No, you know that there is a wonderful
feeling of fulfillment in worship.

And I would be very pleased to have you
back.

As a member of my congregation.

I think Mama would like that, too.

I really feel comfortable here.

Well, why don't you and Willis and your
family drop by this Sunday and enjoy one

of our services?

I'd really like that.

I'm going to ask Dad.

Good. Good.

Always happy to have somebody from Park
Avenue to drop by.

Yes.

It warms the cockles of my collection,
please.

Man,

do I love Halloween.

You know, I'm sorry I didn't cut your
eyes out yet, because you've got to see

this one.

sandwich man hey right on man

i'm starving sit on

down enjoy yourself

Don't you know you were living with the
king of practical jokes? Man, that ain't

funny, man.

Hey, hey.

I'm the king. You know I'm the king,
boy. Give me this knife. I'm going to

you the queen.

Watch yourself.

Isn't it fucking funny, boy?

They're just going to leave you alone
while you sit inside your home.

What you doing, Ma?

Check it out. Look at that, baby.

All right, now, I left a little bit for
you, so go ahead and finish her off. Oh,

no, hell no.

I don't like Halloween.

I don't like Halloween parties. I don't
like them little trick -or -treaters

always trying to get free candy out of
me. Little pieces of candy. Don't want

go buy a big one. They got money in
their pockets.

The only thing I like about the month of
October is Columbus Day and that

Canadian Thanksgiving.

hate Halloween, man. It's got
everything.

Free candy for little kids. Women
dressed in sexy costumes for us big

Oh,

that's Bridget and Nicolette.

Check this out. You ready?

Three, two... You like that, right? You
like that.

We are not laughing, Malcolm. Of course
not. You're the victims. Your job is to

make me laugh.

Job well done.

could go together as a horse your choice
front end or back i'd be happy to just

be in there somewhere you're a little
halloweeny freak ain't you i ain't even

going to the party i'm gonna stay right
here in the house i got my own damn

reason so don't ask i hate halloween did
your mother used to give out fruit and

kids egg your house and make fun of you
well yeah but that ain't it oh

i know what it is It is his mother. No,
no, no, no, no. See, there's a curse on

the Sherman family.

There, said it.

No, that's not it.

No, it is it. It's a curse. It started
in the islands, ma 'am.

Every Halloween, full moon come about,
somebody in the Sherman family

get bit by a demon dog from beyond and
turn into a werewolf.

Let's pretend that there's not a steel
plate under that hat.

Now, say you were in danger of turning
into a werewolf tonight.

Wouldn't you be better off downstairs
amongst all your friends rather than up

here all alone?

I mean, besides, the bar has a strict no
pets policy.

That ain't funny, man.

And if you're in costume, the werewolf
won't know who you are, so he won't

bother you.

Unless you dress up as a giant milk
bone.

If he says there's a curse, then you
best believe there is one.

And, Eddie, if you want to stay here
tonight, I'll be right by your side.

get you through the night. Just you and
me on the couch watching TV.

Let's have the party start.

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I'll be the one to keep you.

I'll keep you at your bed.

The last thing on your mind.

Cause I don't need your mind.

I'll be the one to keep you.