Original subtitles

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We don't matter that you got not a lot. So what? You have yours and I'll

have mine.

Let's go, guys.

We're ready. We've already picked out a movie we're going to see. So we were

going to see Terms of Endearment.

What for?

That's a movie about old fogies with pot bellies.

Hey, how come you're still here?

Oh, we're going, Dad. Don't worry about it. We won't be in the way of your big

evening with Maggie.

Oh, it's not that.

I just want you to beat the rush at the popcorn stand.

Oh, Mr.

Drummond, I've got the table set and the food's all cooked. All you have to do

is pop it into the microwave.

Oh, for how long?

That depends on what you got cooking with Maggie.

Really, about eight minutes. You sure you don't want me to stay and serve? No,

no thanks.

Well, he wants a romantic candlelight dinner alone with his lady.

Why do you think he bribed her to go see a movie?

Yeah, so he can whisper sweet nothings in her ear while she whispers sweet

nothing doings in his.

Wrong, Arnold.

We're going to watch Lawrence Welk together, he said with a straight face.

You know, Mr. Drummond, I really wouldn't mind if you want to tell Maggie

you made the dinner yourself.

I mean, it won't hurt me and it might do you some good.

Thanks, Pearl, but it wouldn't be nice of me to take credit for your wonderful

cooking. You haven't tasted it yet.

I better put this champagne on ice. Have a good time, kids.

You too.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do, Tiger.

We're waiting, ladies.

This was a wonderful dinner, Philip.

Do you cook it yourself?

I cannot tell a lie.

Yes.

I admire a man who can cook.

Most men can barely heat up a dinner that the housekeeper left for them.

Yes, well... When you've been single as long as I have, and you've had as many

kids as I have, you get handy to a lot of things.

All that activity sure has kept you as fit as a fiddle.

Oh, I love my kids.

I wouldn't trade those years for anything.

But I'm glad that the hard part's behind me now.

I don't know whether I could do it again. I know.

You said it before.

I got an idea.

Why don't we move over to the sofa where there's a little more room to operate?

And there's nobody I'd rather operate on.

Let's try that again.

Lean into it a little. I guess I have something on my mind, Philip.

Will you sit down?

Uh -oh. Sitting down is always serious.

Is it something I said?

Is it something I cooked?

Was it too much flam in my flambe?

Hey, I think this is serious.

I know that we haven't been seeing each other for a very long time, but I do

think it's been long enough to tell that we're just different kinds of people.

We have different needs.

Yeah, I think that your needs and my needs need each other.

Well, we do have a lot of fun together, but there's just something

missing. Oh, give it some time.

We'll find out what's missing. I'll send out a St. Bernard with a keg of brandy.

Philip, you're not listening to me.

I'm saying that I believe that it's better if we end it now than to let it

on.

End it?

It'll just be harder to break it off later.

Well, it's not so easy now.

I feel as if I've just been kicked in the stomach.

Listen, I have to go to Hollywood the first thing tomorrow morning on some

personal business, so maybe this is a good time to let things rest.

I don't get it.

What is going on?

Oh, now, it's not as if we'll never see each other. We're still going to be

partners in the exercise business.

Yeah, well, that's very reassuring.

I'm sorry to spoil your lovely dinner, Phillip, but I wanted to be honest with

you. Well, then I guess I better be honest with you.

Pearl cooked the dinner.

I know.

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So let the music play.

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Billy's got an Oreo cake -ster.

Billy's got an Oreo cake -ster. Billy's got an Oreo cake -ster.

Bobby's got his first

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They're not here.

I thought they'd be tangled up on the couch like a couple of boa constrictors.

Dad, we're home wherever you are.

Oh, hi there.

Oh, hi, Mr. Drummond. Hi, Daddy. Where's Maggie?

You got her in the kitchen doing dishes?

No, uh, actually, she went home.

Well, I guess I better go inspect the disaster area.

Why'd she leave so early?

Yeah, Dad.

You already had your nap today?

I'm afraid she may be gone for good.

What do you think? What happened?

I don't know myself.

Apparently she's unhappy with our relationship. I haven't got the foggiest

why.

Why didn't you ask her?

I didn't have a chance. I couldn't get my breath.

She dumped you?

How do you like that?

Well, let's not just stand there and tell them what to do.

I've never been dumped before.

Well, didn't you tell her how you feel about her?

Well, not in so many words, no, but she knows that I'm crazy about her.

What does she want out of the relationship?

I don't know.

Dad, you're better off without her. She has no right to treat you that way.

Daddy, in my life, I've never known you to give up this easily. If Maggie means

that much to you, go after her.

Listen to you.

Yeah. Grab her by the arm, throw her in a sofa, and sit on her.

Well, she's no mood to talk to me now.

She'll be leaving town early in the morning.

Then go after her.

Go after her?

You know something?

You're right.

I have the feeling there's something she didn't tell me.

Bye, George. I am going to go after her. Oh, all right, Daddy.

I'll go to Hollywood over there.

Hollywood? Is that where she's going?

That's it, Daddy. Follow her across the country. That really impresses the lady.

I wouldn't follow that woman across the street.

I've got an idea.

How would you all like to come to Hollywood with me? I'll go pack.

But I'm only going to make sure you don't make a fool of yourself.

I'll feel a lot better knowing you're keeping an eye on me.

Okay, we're all set, gang.

I'm going to win her back or find out the reason why.

And if that doesn't work, Hollywood's full of beautiful women. I saw in the

Enquirer what Joan Collins is between men.

I'll give you the next best thing to computer dating.

All right, let's all turn in.

I'll call tonight for reservations, and I'll find out tomorrow morning where

Maggie's going to stay out there. All right.

Oh, man, this is going to be fun.

Oh, no!

What's the matter?

I forgot.

Dudley's parents are going away this weekend, and I promised he could stay

me. No problem. We'll take Dudley with us. I'll call his father.

Oh. Thanks, Dad.

You're really a big spender. Joan Collins would like that.

Hello, Hollywood.

Here's Arnold.

Oh, mercy!

Check this out. Whoa!

This is bigger than our penthouse.

Thank you very much. Please send up the other bags later.

Hey, Dad, let's get unpacked. I want to go on the Universal Studios tour.

Yeah, we want to meet Nightwire and talk to that carpet.

Yeah, I heard his Trans Am was having an affair with a cute little Toyota.

Yeah, they were seen together at the same car wash.

Well, I'd like to go into Beverly Hills and see Rodeo Drive.

It's supposed to be the most expensive shopping place in the world.

Yeah, we want to spend some of your money, Dad. So how about giving us your

credit cards?

Look, I'm in love, but it hasn't made me that crazy.

Listen, gang, supposing we all meet back here at...

Five o 'clock. Okay. I know Maggie's in this hotel someplace, but I just have to

find out where. Okay.

Problem is, what do I say to her?

What if she won't listen to me?

Don't give up.

What if she laughs in my face?

Don't give up. What if she tells me to get lost?

Give up.

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Excuse me, madam.

Yes? Lunch is served. I didn't order lunch. I went to a lot of trouble.

Eat it.

I beg your... Would you believe

I pushed this all the way from New York?

What on earth are you doing here?

Just trying to make a few bucks on my day off.

Look, I've been doing a lot of thinking about us, and I have decided you can't

get rid of me.

I love you, and I can prove it. Look what I brought you for lunch. What do

mean?

What's that?

Just a health salad.

A health salad.

Just a few carrots.

Philip, I don't know what to say.

Well, how about yes?

Look, I can't stand it without you.

If you want to know where this relationship is going, let's get married

and worry about it later.

You sure know how to throw a lady for a loop. Good.

Let's find a minister while you're still dizzy.

Excuse me, ma 'am. This package just came for Sam McKinney.

Oh, thank you.

Just put it in our room, please.

Certainly, ma 'am.

Our room?

Does that mean you're staying here with someone?

As a matter of fact...

I am.

You are.

You've gone back to your ex -husband.

Now, let me adult about this, Philip.

Would you like to meet Sam?

No.

I think you should.

I think I should have told you about this before now.

Sam?

Sam? Uh, look, this isn't necessary. I just assumed too much.

I can see now that it was a mistake to come out here. And you won't be needing

this now. I'm sure Sam can give you one.

No. Sam can't afford it.

He isn't working.

Mama!

What do you want?

I want you to meet Mr. Philip Drummond, who is a very good friend of your mama.

Philip, this is Sam.

Hi.

Hi.

Sam?

¶¶ ¶¶ An empty shop girl can be a top girl

if she pieces the tired businessman.

Hooray for Hollywood!

You may be homely in your neighborhood.

Be an actor, see Mr.

Factor, you make your kisser look good.

Go out to try your luck, you may be Donald Duck.

Hooray for Hollywood!

We'll make a short stop here to show you how special effects are done in the

movies.

Miss?

Um, when do we get to see Knight Rider? I want to talk to his car. Shit.

Oh, I'm afraid we'll be seeing Knight Rider. They're shooting way over on the

other side of the lot. And besides, they don't allow tourism while they're

shooting. Oh, gee.

Oh, but there's a lot of other wonderful things to see, like Jaws and the Psycho

House and the Strolling Monsters.

What a bummer. What do you think we bail out of this tour and find Knight Rider

and get his autograph and picture on our own?

But the tour guide said it'd stick together. But she also said that this

special effects.

You and I are going to disappear.

Well, it's been nice talking to you, Mr. Drummond. Can I go back to the pool

now, Mom?

Sure, hon.

You didn't mess up my hair when you said hello like everybody else did.

Why didn't you tell me about Sam before?

There didn't seem to be much point in it. From what I could tell, you weren't

serious about me. And also, you happened to mention that you were glad she

didn't have to go through raising another child.

Is that why you left me that night?

Yes.

You better do some more thinking about marrying me, Philip.

You've got a lot more to consider now.

Do you have any idea where we are?

No, but I think we're making good time.

Wait a minute. I have a rock in my shoe. Okay.

Come on.

The train's coming. We've got to get out of here.

it all the time stop worrying deadly i bet your night ride is just

over that hill hey look at that fisherman over there do you think

fishing that water no way no fish could live in that dirty water come on

Are you kidding? I have a great sense of direction.

Wasn't I in the Boy Scout?

Have I ever led you astray before?

In other words, we're lost.

I'm afraid so.

Hey, look at that house.

Maybe somebody lives there, like a caretaker. Maybe he knows where to find

Knight Rider. Come on.

Boy, she looks spooky up there.

Maybe we shouldn't go.

Oh, come on. What is there to be afraid of?

Yeah, just remember, you're the guy who said there were no fish in the lake.

Yes?

Uh, hi there.

I hope we weren't bothering you.

No bother.

is just recharging my neck.

Well, we were just wondering if you could tell us how to find Knight Rider.

No, but perhaps my brother -in -law knows.

Can we speak to him?

Certainly. He's right behind you.

mister. Is this where they're shooting Knight Rider?

That's right, kid. Hey, what are you doing here?

Oh, we want to see Knight Rider. Oh, sorry.

It's a closed set.

Okay.

Beat it.

Come on.

It's him!

How you doing, Harry? Good morning, David.

No one says good morning to me.

What am I, chopped liver?

Knight Rider set.

Oh, I'd say in about three hours.

Hey! I'll call you right back.

Now, special effects.

Let's go ahead and put the explosives under the sheriff's car.

Do you think they'll find us? No way. We should be safe in here.

That's it. You all set, David? Ready, Les. Good.

Okay, everybody. Here's the thing.

Now, the smugglers come out of that building over there with a suitcase full

drugs and get in their car.

The sheriff comes out after them and gets in his car.

while the Knight Rider drives in.