Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some.

A man is born, he's a man of means. Then along come two, they got nothing

but the genes. But they got different strokes to take, different strokes to

take, different strokes to move the world.

We'll be right back.

very wrong apartment.

Oh, um, hi, Dad.

Charlene was just, um, just telling me about the big school dance this weekend.

Yeah, it looked like you were taking the words right out of her mouth.

Hi, Charlene.

I got a good chance.

Now, that's what I call an understanding father.

He's sure not like my dad.

Is your dad still getting in a chase?

Yeah. He just can't help bringing his work home with him. Well, I guess a vice

cop sees a lot out there on the streets, and you can't blame him for being a

little overprotective.

Overprotective? When I come home from a date, he does everything but dust me for

fingerprints.

Well, I guess I better start wearing gloves.

That's not funny, Willis.

All his rules and regulations are driving me crazy.

Oh, well, just hang in there. After we're in college, we'll get married and

you'll move out.

Married?

Willis, do you really love me that much?

Hey, I wouldn't have let you be my girlfriend for three years if I didn't.

What a guy.

Willis, do you think we could announce our unofficial official engagement at

dance this weekend?

Why not?

Let's tell the world. Oh, man,

I better start announcing engagements more often.

You know, just to make it unofficially official, I want you to wear my class

ring.

Oh, Willis, I promise I'll never take it off.

I know.

Oh, not again.

What do you two brush your teeth with, super glue?

Okay, troops, who's ready for some more beef stew?

Is that what this is?

Thank you.

I don't mind cooking when Pearl takes a weekend off, but I'd like to think it's

appreciated. I've been slaving over a hot microwave for four and a half

Hey, Dad, why don't you sit down and join us? Who, me? I wouldn't eat this

if you paid me.

I'll get it.

Oh, and Dad, I have some more eutrophics, too. Good.

Hi.

Charlene, I know we talked about marriage this afternoon, but I don't

saying anything about eloping.

Did I do something wrong?

Hi, Charlene. Hi.

I'm sorry to barge in on you like this.

But I didn't know where else to go.

What do you mean? What's the matter, Charlene? Come on over here and sit down

and tell us what happened, honey.

Well, I finally had it out with my father.

No matter what I do, it's wrong.

Oh, I'm sure he doesn't really think that.

But he does.

And I think by now I've earned the right to be trusted. I'm a full -grown woman.

Yeah, the fullest.

Well, what did your father say to you?

Well... All through dinner, he kept picking on me just because I forgot to

an errand I promised to do.

And my mother, she just sat there not saying a word.

What did you say to your father?

Well, I told him I never wanted to see him again, so I packed a bag and ran

Good for you, Charlene. Kids should stand up to their parents.

Of course, I'd never do that myself.

What are you going to do now?

I don't know, but I'm not going back.

Well, if you'd like to, you can stay here with us until things cool down. But

only on one condition, Charlie, and that you try to work things out with your

father.

Well, I can try.

Good. I'll go and phone him and tell him you're here.

He probably has every policeman in the city looking for you.

You just relax, Angel Cakes.

Everything's going to be great.

Except for one thing, which I better go do right now.

Where are you going, Arnold? To the bathroom.

With another girl in the house, I may never get in there again.

Speaking of the bathroom, I'll go get some towels for you, Charlene. Thanks.

Well, listen, are you sure you don't mind me staying here?

Are you kidding? It'd be terrific.

We'll be living under the same roof. It'll be like we're married, but without

mortgage payments.

Yeah, that'll give us a chance to know each other better.

They say you never really know someone until you live with them.

Oh, but it's different between us. I mean, I already know all your faults,

you'd know mine if I had any.

The College Hill crew brings the ATL to the UK.

We were just having fun with Drew. I don't know what's up with him. He

feel included, but he's not. Drew needs to just suck it up. Man, if you don't

shut up.

College Hill Atlanta, Tuesday at 10.

You're sitting on the couch, you're watching TV, and your life's passing you

You keep procrastinating over and over. Well, maybe I'll go to school next year,

maybe next semester. No, do it right now. They'll work with you after work,

you can go before work. You can do whatever you need to do to graduate. Go

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anyhow. Why don't you make a phone call that's going to help you in your future?

All you got to do is pick up the phone and make the call.

Why are you making it complicated?

It's easy.

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We're looking for everyone who hasn't tried Honey Bunches of Oat.

It's breakfast time.

Would you like to try some? Yeah. A little sweet, a little crunchy.

It's great.

This is very good.

I like this.

What do you think?

It's in this stuff. It's the perfect combination of crispy flakes, crunchy

clusters, and just a touch of honey in every spoonful.

I guess I'll get the milk.

One spoonful is all it takes.

Well, what is that stuff?

Something I've been seeing for a special occasion, Arnold.

It's called Wild Stallion.

Smells more like old pack horse.

Why are you putting it on now?

Because Charlene's coming in to kiss me goodnight.

Kiss you?

She's liable to throw a blanket and a feed bag on you.

She can do whatever she wants to me.

You really like Charlene, don't you? Like her?

Arnold, she's the only girl for me.

And one of these days, and maybe not too long from now, I'm going to marry her.

Get a hold of yourself, Willis. That cologne is clouding your brain.

Come in.

Is somebody ready for their goodnight kiss?

Yeah, lay it on me.

Uh, excuse me, Arvo. There's a guy in line ahead of you.

So, um, unpuck your pucker.

You look beautiful.

So do you.

Now I know what to get you, too, for a wedding present. A crowbar.

Good morning, lady.

I hate to interrupt such a fascinating topic of conversation, especially if it

was probably about me.

But how about my morning kiss?

If you'll excuse me, I think I'll get out of here before it gets too warm in

kitchen.

How about that kiss?

Fire when ready.

What's the matter?

I guess I've never seen you look like this before.

Well, you don't have to look so frightened. I don't self -destruct.

Do you wear rose in your hair every night?

Sure. I want to look nice for you.

But I didn't expect to see you so soon this morning, so I didn't have time to

fix myself up.

Oh, well, that's okay.

That's so funny.

You've got moisturizer on your nose.

Moisturizer?

Yeah, how'd that get there?

From me. I put it all over my face at night. I must have left a little behind

ear.

Is there anything else I should know before we get married?

You don't take your teeth out at night, do you?

No. Everything else you see is original equipment.

Good.

Now, how about some breakfast? A couple of eggs ought to do it. Sounds great.

Make mine scramble.

Well, I was kind of thinking more along the lines of you cooking and me eating.

Me cook?

I wouldn't know where to begin.

It takes me an hour to make men it right.

Well, that's okay.

You'll have plenty of time to learn after we're married.

Willis, the problem with learning to cook is then you have to do it. I have

heart set on being a career woman.

Well, that's okay for a few weeks.

And then you can learn to cook.

Willis, I don't mean for a few weeks.

I don't want to be tied down to the house like my mother is.

Oh.

Then who's going to take care of the kids?

I kiss.

Don't you want to have kids?

No.

Are you saying you don't want to see four or five little cool dudes like me

around?

Since you put it like that, absolutely no.

Charlene, you're joking, right?

Not if you're saying you want me to spend my whole life barefoot and

Oh, come on.

You'd have shoes.

Sorry, Willis, but forget it.

Then why are we even bothering to think about marriage?

Well, now that I know your stupid attitude about it, I'm really not sure.

Well, in fact, why are we even bothering to think about going to the school

dance together tonight?

Well, you don't want to go here. That's fine with me. Here, you can have this

crummy ring back, too. Crummy? Yes, crummy. The first two letters of your

ring are rubbed off. Look, Willis Jackson, F of 85.

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So, what's the word?

Mm, McDonald's has got Southern -style taste in the bag. Mm, you said it, girl.

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It'll take a while.

What are you going to do?

Well, I'm going to lower my cholesterol.

How long is that going to take? Oh, six weeks. Six weeks? Yeah.

I'm going to be done with this by then.

You are on, baby.

Okay.

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Easy.

You can come in, sweet lips.

How'd you know it was me?

Thought you were Charlene coming in to apologize.

Yeah, Charlene told me a little bit about what happened.

Isn't it a little premature for you two to be arguing about marriage?

It usually doesn't happen until the honeymoon.

Dad, it's not like we were going to get married right away or anything.

And now, not at all.

Well, would you like to tell me your side of the story?

Okay. Good. And try to be objective about it.

Okay. I'm right and she's wrong.

I think I'm beginning to see the problem. The woman's out of control.

I have to tell you.

It sounds as if your ideas about love and marriage are a little bit old

-fashioned. I'm supposed to be the old fogey in this family.

What's so bad with wanting my wife to stay home, cook, and take care of the

while I go out and make a living?

Well, there's nothing bad about that.

But marriage only works if both people want the same thing.

Charlene and I do want the same thing. We both want to wear the pants in the

family.

You know, you can't force her.

To accept your ideas about marriage.

Dad, you make me sound like a prehistoric caveman.

Well, if the loincloth fits.

Dad. Son, marriage has to be a 50 -50 proposition or it just won't work at

Now, don't you think that you could bend a little bit, maybe, and meet Charlie

in halfway?

I guess I can try.

I think if you apologize to her, she'll meet you halfway.

And listen, don't act like an adolescent kid whose nose is out of joint.

Be more adult about it. You know, more sophisticated.

You really think that'll work, Dad?

Trust me.

Charlene, I guess the bottom line is, do you still care about him?

Well, of course I do. I love Willard.

I'd just like to pound his head into the ground with a croquet mallet.

Does that sound terrible?

Not to me.

Only I'd use a baseball bat.

Well, I know one thing I'd do if I were you, Charlene. Willis is a really good

guy. Oh, he may be young and opinionated, but you could get him to

You think so?

Sure. First of all, I would rise above his childish, petty attitude and be

and sophisticated about it. You know, like they do in those old British

And then I'd apologize to him before he had a chance to apologize to me.

Apologize? No way.

Oh, that would sure make him feel guilty and foolish.

I'll do it.

Yeah, treat him like a puppy. If he makes a mess, rub his nose in it.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go make some breakfast, Charlene. You want

give me a hand, Arnold? No, thanks.

Lewis, I'd like to have a word with you, my dear.

I'd like to have a word with you, too.

Fine. But first, I'd like to apologize for my childish and unsophisticated

behavior earlier.

Oh, no.

It was I who was being childish, you know, and sophisticated.

And I would like to apologize from the bottom of my childishness.

Oh, well, that's very adult of you.

Yes, it is.

Should we let bygones be bygones?

Darling, consider them gone.

I should have been more understanding when you were being such a jerk.

That's only because you were being so petty, my pet.

Patty, what?

Hold it, hold it. It just seems we can't get along.

Then maybe we should end this relationship.

It's okay by me?

Fine. Right after the school dance tonight.

Oh, let's do it now.

Why wait?

We don't want to spoil a good dance.

Well, it's been interesting.

Grossing.

I agree with the gross part.

See ya, fleas ball.

Women.

Well, how'd that little plan work out? It backfired. It bombed. It was a total

disaster.

Well, it never worked for me either.

Doesn't Charlene look gorgeous?

I'll say.

She's loaded with gorge.

What are you all dressed up for?

Just because we're not going together doesn't mean that I have to miss that

dance. Kimberly was nice enough to loan me a dress.

And where'd you get that perfume?

You've never smelled like that before.

I borrowed that from Kimberly, too.

Where'd you get that cologne?

It's sort of a blend between wild stallion and clear seal.

Well, I like to stand around here jawing with you, Charlene. But my date should

be here any moment.

Your date?

That's right. I sent Dad's chauffeur and limo to pick her up.

Willis, just who is this girl? I mean, not that I care.

You don't know her anyway.

She's from another school.

What'd you do? Strike out with all the girls in your school?

Willis, how could you have another woman come by the house while Charlene's

still here? That's disgusting.

That's our boy, the Duke of Disgust.

Excuse me, that's my date.

Willis' date is a real hunk.

Can I help you? I'm here to pick up Charlene. I'm her date.

Her date?

Oh, hi, Ron. Come on in. Well, hi there. You look beautiful.

Thank you. So do you.

Oh, little old moi.

Merci. I think appearance is très important for a man of today's world.

is making me tray, tray sick.

I'm sure that's for me.

Hi, Willie.

Hi there, Rosalie.

You look fantastic.

Come on in.

Thank you.

Excuse me, um, Ron, Kimberly Arnold, I would like you to meet my

date.

This is Rosalind.

Hi, how are you doing? Fine, thanks.

Oh, I almost forgot. This other girl, um... Charlene.

Hi.

Hi.

Boy, that is a fabulous dress, Rosalind. Thank you.

You can't wear stuff like that, Charlene.

See, Rosalind's tall and slender. And you're built more like a linebacker.

Unnecessary roughness.

Wait a minute. Who is this bozo? Well, up until this morning, this bozo is

Charlene's boyfriend.

What? Well, that's what's going on. You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend.

I don't. She's my ex -girlfriend.

They're not going to be living together anymore.

Living together?

Look, Charlene, I don't want to get in the middle of anything here. I think

be better if I just split.

But, Ron, wait a minute. I'm with you. I feel like a fool. Oh, but, Rosalind.

Well, you know, this is just fate.

It's kismet. I saw this in a movie once where the girl and the guy, who were

strangers, ended up going to the dance together.

So what do you think?

Buzz off, creep.

Thanks a lot, Willie. Me? What about you?

Hold it. Hold it.

Not again.

You know, I think we've really had about enough of this.

Would you two mind leaving the room, please? Not at all, Dad.

Here we go again.

I'm going to grow up stupid.

Man, when I get married to my wife and we go on my honeymoon, she'll probably

say, Arnold, would you mind leaving the room, please?

Sit down. I want to talk to you two.

Mr. Drummond, it's just going to be a waste of time. I won't talk to her. Sit.

All right, now.

What's the argument about this time?

She had the nerve to give herself a day for the dance. Can you believe that?

Me? What about you? You did the same thing. All right, all right, all right,

right. That's enough now.

I get the picture.

Hasn't all of this taught you two anything?

Oh, I'm sure it's taught Charlene something.

I'll bet that's the last time she'll look in the one -ass for a date.

Well, at least my date's mustache was better groomed than your date's was.

Now, these snide remarks won't get us anywhere.

Look, I think you're both just terrific kids.

But it's obvious to me that at this moment, neither one of you are ready for

kind of a permanent relationship.

I think you're right, Mr. Driver. Yeah, I agree, Dad.

And by the way, Charlene, I just had a long talk with your father.

He was very understanding, and he would like you to come home tonight after the

dance. Well, I guess I'm ready to.

Good. Good.

Now, look, kids.

It's clear to me that you really do care for each other. But stop thinking about

lifetime commitments.

Enjoy what you have at the moment. Go off to the dance together.

Oh, come on, Willis. Ask Charlene if she'd like to go to the dance.

Well, Charlene wouldn't want to go.

He wants to know if you'd like to go.

Okay, since I'm already dressed for it.

She said okay, since she's already dressed for it.

You know, your enthusiasm is overwhelming.

Come on, come on, kids. Lighten up. Go out there and have some fun together.

What do you say?

Come on, kiss and make up.

That's an order.

I said kiss.

Hey, hey.

That's enough.

I said that's enough.

Dad, we're only doing what you said to do. Yeah, but I didn't tell you to do it

that good.

Now, come on, off you go. Off to the dance. Yes, sir.

Thanks so much, Mr. Drummond. Glad I could help.

Have a good time. Enjoy yourselves. Oh, and listen.

Remember, no drinking, no smoking, no going off to somebody's house for a wild

party, no high -speed joy rides, be home by midnight, and no excuses. You got

it? Got it. We'll have a good time some other night.

Thanks a lot, Dad.

Well,

I see you handled that pretty well, Dad.

Oh, thank you.

That's quite a compliment, coming from a man of your vast experience.

Why are you eavesdropping?

Because I'm trying to learn about life. Every time something comes up, you ask

me to leave the room.

Well, you've got a point there, Arnold. Come on, sit down.

Now, what would you like to know?

Everything.

Everything? Well, at least enough so that when I'm a father, I'll know when

kick my own kids out of the room.

They're just wondering what might be right for you.

They might be right for some, but then it's for people that are mean.

Then along come two, they got nothing but the genes, and they got different

strokes to take, different strokes to take.

What's going on in here?

My line is coming over for dinner tonight.

No, she's not.

What? Did I forget to tell you? She called and canceled.

Yes, you did.

I must be getting old.

Oh, man, I can't believe this. I cooked the whole dinner for nothing.

See, this is just like her. Totally inconsiderate. What lame excuse did she

this time?

Something about a mother, a rutted appendix, emergency surgery.

Yeah, I really couldn't hear old Cyrus.

Like the paramedics couldn't have handled that.

Yeah.

Well, this food ain't gonna go to waste. I'm starving.

I know Dexter and Lex are probably starved, too.

Oh.

Wait, hold up. Pull over, Slick.

Your cousin Dexter's coming over here?

Yeah. Did I forget to tell you?

I know I'm getting old.

Remind me to get some Geritol.

And your cousin Dexter cannot come over here. The apartment is not even

earthquake -proof.

I haven't even strapped down the breakables.

He called this morning, man.

I felt bad.

We've been avoiding him ever since he got married.

I've been avoiding him ever since I met him.

Well, you won't be avoiding him tonight.

Man. I was going to spend the evening with a beautiful woman.

Now I got to spend it with your clumsy, cursed cousin.

What you think inside your home?

really pregnant bit.

Oh, yeah, it was a real hoot.

You know what? I want a free dinner at Black Angus with that bit.

Hey, why don't you guys come in and have a seat? I'm sure you can't stay long.

Oh, heck, maybe not for many a time.

Oh, yippee.

Hey, uh, so when's the baby due?

Last Monday.

Little Dex is overdue.

Well, you know, I'm not counting, but didn't y 'all just get married nine

ago?