All language subtitles for Diffrent Strokes s06e01 Rashomon II

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,320 Yeah, you play all day. A lot of y 'all want a ball and try to walk it for me. Y 2 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:08,160 'all want that shot in time, but that's all mine. I'm bona fide qualified to 3 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:12,020 have a hot damn time. Now listen, get the picture, and take a picture of me 4 00:00:12,020 --> 00:00:16,059 quick. Because tomorrow I got a new city that I'm gonna hit. A double whammy, 5 00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:20,120 right before I do the Grammy. I do it to a pup daddy way out in South Miami. 6 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:21,880 I'm only in town for a night. 7 00:00:22,300 --> 00:00:26,680 And when I'm in the crowd getting high. And everybody loves me. The browns to 8 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:27,378 the white. 9 00:00:27,380 --> 00:00:31,360 You live like a movie, but I'm moving my. Life and I'm the life of the party. 10 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:35,220 Every time I show up. I'm the life of the party. Every time I blow up. 11 00:00:35,420 --> 00:00:39,260 I'm the life of the party. Every time I show up. I'm the life of the party. 12 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:40,520 Every time I blow up. 13 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,980 Give me one second. I'll post for your picture. 14 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,920 Like cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese. 15 00:00:55,740 --> 00:00:59,360 Now everybody just breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe. 16 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:01,900 Now DJ, bring the music, please. 17 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:03,320 Count them, man. 18 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:06,600 It's about 12, 13, 14 back. 19 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,420 It's me, two of my homies, drinking. 20 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,320 I see all the ballers in the house. What's up, man? 21 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:16,740 They doing it big over there, too. 22 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:19,080 But you know what I mean? 23 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:22,260 If I wasn't here, it wouldn't be the same. 24 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:26,800 Because I'm the life of the party, baby. 25 00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:29,540 I hope you feel the same way about yourself. 26 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:33,700 All right, ladies and gentlemen, this is all from me today. 27 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:36,060 Thank you so much at home for watching. 28 00:01:37,060 --> 00:01:40,360 Charlie Murphy, thank you very much for rocking with me. Thanks for rocking with 29 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:41,360 me. Thanks, boo. 30 00:01:42,020 --> 00:01:43,020 Always a pleasure. 31 00:01:43,140 --> 00:01:44,140 We know it. 32 00:01:45,470 --> 00:01:47,410 Guys, make sure you keep your TV's black to be pink. 33 00:01:47,610 --> 00:01:48,770 Peace and blessings to you all. I'm out. 34 00:02:15,130 --> 00:02:18,630 Different strokes to take. Different strokes to take. 35 00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:21,130 Different strokes to move the world. 36 00:02:22,990 --> 00:02:25,810 Everybody's got a special kind of story. 37 00:02:26,630 --> 00:02:29,030 Everybody finds a way to shine. 38 00:02:30,010 --> 00:02:32,730 It don't matter that you got my life. 39 00:02:33,130 --> 00:02:37,130 So what? I'll have theirs and you'll have yours and I'll have mine. 40 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:40,730 And together we'll be fine with the stakes. 41 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:46,340 Different strokes to move the world. Yes, it does. It takes different strokes 42 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:47,340 move the world. 43 00:03:53,470 --> 00:03:56,230 There's nobody home, this is the answering service, so just leave a 44 00:03:59,970 --> 00:04:01,490 Of course I'm writing it down. 45 00:04:07,470 --> 00:04:11,130 I don't care what you guys say, I love the movie. 46 00:04:11,410 --> 00:04:15,710 Yeah, the longer those monsters are, the better I like them. No way, not me. 47 00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:19,769 That is the last time I go to a horror movie with you guys. All those weird 48 00:04:19,769 --> 00:04:23,710 -looking creatures that grunting and groaning and frothing at the mouth. 49 00:04:24,090 --> 00:04:25,830 It's always that way at the popcorn stand. 50 00:04:29,210 --> 00:04:31,850 Hey, Arnold, how would you like something ice -cold to drink? 51 00:04:32,110 --> 00:04:33,810 Yeah, sounds good to me. 52 00:04:34,090 --> 00:04:35,950 Yeah, me too. Put a couple ice cubes in mine. 53 00:04:38,230 --> 00:04:39,330 Anything else for you? 54 00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:44,530 Oh, come on, Arnold. I'll give you a hand, then I'm going to hit the sack. 55 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:50,560 No one does like you. I don't care where you started up at, because I'm going to 56 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:53,440 finish it wherever. She picked the wrong time to mess with Drew. That dude was 57 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:55,640 walking around the house like he was straight up crazy. 58 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:57,080 He's getting violent. 59 00:04:57,420 --> 00:04:58,860 Don't trust him at this point. 60 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,600 College Hill, Atlanta. 61 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,100 Tonight at 10. 62 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,460 The soothing scent of lavender. 63 00:05:06,420 --> 00:05:07,580 Calming and relaxing. 64 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:10,120 Experience it. 65 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:11,460 In your clothes. 66 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:15,240 Vanilla and lavender. 67 00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:17,160 Downy's Simple Pleasures. 68 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:19,520 The scent of gardenia. 69 00:05:20,140 --> 00:05:23,380 Refreshing, enlivening, uplifting. 70 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,580 Now in your clothes. 71 00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:32,120 Introducing gardenia and pear blossom from Downy's Simple Pleasures. 72 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:37,700 Hey, guess what? First, Matt, honey, what would you like? Go ahead. Oh, 73 00:05:37,780 --> 00:05:40,940 drumsticks, and thighs. Have one of both. There's plenty of the good stuff 74 00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:44,840 around. Get ten moist and juicy drumsticks and thighs for only $7 .99. 75 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,020 Life tastes better with KFC. 76 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:55,740 Go from nice gut to nice 77 00:05:55,740 --> 00:05:56,740 butt. 78 00:05:57,180 --> 00:06:01,800 Extra, the long -lasting five -calorie snack to help reshape your lifestyle. 79 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,080 Express! 80 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:19,800 Whoa, 81 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:37,980 kneaded it. 82 00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:53,750 All right, Danny. 83 00:06:54,010 --> 00:06:55,010 You're up. 84 00:06:55,090 --> 00:06:56,090 Truth or dare? 85 00:06:57,570 --> 00:06:58,630 Male bonding. 86 00:06:58,930 --> 00:07:02,110 Found in every bag of Tostitos. Free the fun. 87 00:07:02,550 --> 00:07:05,750 New, Clomobi has the laughing baby for your cell. 88 00:07:11,050 --> 00:07:13,630 Text baby to 44644. 89 00:07:13,870 --> 00:07:16,510 Text baby to 44644. 90 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:22,700 If you've been hurt in a car accident, a fall or any kind of accident, you may 91 00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:27,220 be entitled to money. Get the money you deserve for your injuries. Call the 92 00:07:27,220 --> 00:07:30,200 lawyers group. Call 1 -800 -607 -2020. 93 00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:35,780 The call is free. The advice is free. Call 1 -800 -607 -2020. 94 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:40,700 If you've been hurt in any kind of accident, lawyers group is waiting for 95 00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:44,540 call. Call toll free 1 -800 -607 -2020. 96 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:50,600 Hello there, friends. Go all in with your boy, Cat Williams, for the finale, 97 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:54,740 season finale of the Black Poker Stars Invitational. Are you serious? 98 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:58,940 All in. Now, I can't promise everybody's going to get paid, but most people are 99 00:07:58,940 --> 00:07:59,659 going to get paid. 100 00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:02,080 Tonight at 11, only on VET. 101 00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:20,020 What was that? 102 00:08:20,180 --> 00:08:22,400 I don't know. It sounded like it came from the dead. 103 00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:24,300 Maybe we just imagined it. 104 00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:30,580 We 105 00:08:30,580 --> 00:08:37,580 just 106 00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:38,580 imagined it again. 107 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:43,480 Do you think it's a burglar? 108 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,420 I don't know. What are we talking about? 109 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,000 It's probably just Pearl. 110 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,500 Yeah, right. Yeah. 111 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,960 She's probably just doing some late night dusting. Yeah. 112 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:56,840 I'll call her. 113 00:08:57,900 --> 00:08:58,900 Pearl. 114 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:19,969 What's going on? 115 00:09:19,970 --> 00:09:21,530 I heard noises in the den. 116 00:09:22,010 --> 00:09:23,690 I think it's a burglar. 117 00:09:24,090 --> 00:09:25,750 Oh, I doubt that. 118 00:09:26,090 --> 00:09:30,070 Why? Because if I thought there was a burglar in this house, I wouldn't be 119 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,150 standing here like this. 120 00:09:31,390 --> 00:09:33,230 I'd be on the floor in a dead faint. 121 00:09:35,690 --> 00:09:36,990 Maybe it's just a wind. 122 00:09:37,270 --> 00:09:38,850 Dad probably forgot to close the window. 123 00:09:40,870 --> 00:09:42,250 That's only one thing to do. 124 00:09:42,770 --> 00:09:46,930 Go into the den and check it out. Right. Thanks for volunteering. 125 00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:53,090 Okay, I'll go check it out. 126 00:09:53,390 --> 00:09:55,710 I'm sure it's just the wind. Probably nothing. 127 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,810 You know, I'm cool. I'll check it out. 128 00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:05,150 I don't hear a thing. 129 00:10:05,350 --> 00:10:07,630 One move and you're dead. That I heard. 130 00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:14,470 All right, get over there with the rest of them. That's it. Hurry up. Go on, go 131 00:10:14,470 --> 00:10:15,470 on. Get over there. All right. 132 00:10:16,010 --> 00:10:16,969 That's better. 133 00:10:16,970 --> 00:10:19,650 Now, we don't want any trouble here, do we? 134 00:10:21,070 --> 00:10:23,730 We don't want no trouble here. Absolutely not. Shut up. 135 00:10:25,790 --> 00:10:27,250 I was just going to suggest that. 136 00:10:27,470 --> 00:10:32,010 So, we're all going to stay nice and quiet while I get out of here, right? 137 00:10:33,290 --> 00:10:35,330 And you're not going to use the phone, right? 138 00:10:36,690 --> 00:10:37,690 All right. 139 00:10:38,390 --> 00:10:40,570 Just to make sure you don't, I'm going to rip out the cord. 140 00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:16,400 It must have been kind of scary. 141 00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:19,900 Hello. 142 00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:25,340 Get over there with the rest of them, Pops. Go on, hurry up. Get going. 143 00:11:25,660 --> 00:11:29,460 Daddy, we're all right. Take anything you want, but don't hurt the children. 144 00:11:30,620 --> 00:11:35,700 Or the grown -ups. 145 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,800 All right, let's have your watch and wallet. 146 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,300 And listen, would you please leave the baby pictures of the kids? 147 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,120 Now, where do you keep the real valuable stuff? 148 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,760 In the safe deposit box in the bank. 149 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,500 We don't have a safe in the house. 150 00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:52,340 Come on, don't jive me. A rich family like you always has a safe. 151 00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:55,360 It's got to be behind, like, one of those paintings. 152 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,020 You're not even close. 153 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:02,360 Come here, kid. 154 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,040 Come here. 155 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:05,600 Now, 156 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,160 tell me where the safe is. 157 00:12:10,540 --> 00:12:11,540 Well, I... 158 00:12:12,620 --> 00:12:13,620 We wouldn't know. 159 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,380 Dad always blindfolds us before he opens it. 160 00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:21,720 Come on, let's make it fast before somebody gets hurt, all right? All 161 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:22,760 right. All right, it's over there. 162 00:12:23,540 --> 00:12:25,900 The back of that painting on the wall there. All right, all right. 163 00:12:26,260 --> 00:12:27,260 Hey, look. 164 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:31,640 Oh, this is beautiful. 165 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:32,539 Real beautiful. 166 00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:33,540 Okay, come on. 167 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,080 Open it up. Okay. Quick. 168 00:12:35,860 --> 00:12:36,860 That's it. 169 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:38,640 All right, now. 170 00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:39,900 Everybody just relax. 171 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,540 Just think of me as a guest in your house. 172 00:12:42,740 --> 00:12:43,740 Good idea. 173 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,240 I'll go turn down your bed. 174 00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:48,579 Don't move. 175 00:12:48,580 --> 00:12:49,580 Don't move. 176 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:56,060 I'm really starting to lose my whole patience with a whole lot of... 177 00:12:56,060 --> 00:13:00,220 Are 178 00:13:00,220 --> 00:13:05,720 you wearing an acrylic... 179 00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:54,720 Tell yourself hyperventilating. 180 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,720 You have to breathe in your own carbon dioxide. 181 00:13:58,600 --> 00:13:59,419 All right. 182 00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:01,100 All right. Go on. Make it fast. 183 00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:03,940 But don't try anything funny in there or your father gets it. 184 00:14:34,550 --> 00:14:38,930 The following message may trouble drivers insured with Allstate, State 185 00:14:39,210 --> 00:14:41,470 Geico, and other major insurance companies. 186 00:14:41,890 --> 00:14:48,710 We have reason to believe you are overpaying. Yes, overpaying by $364 .46 187 00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:49,710 year on average. 188 00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:54,350 Stop overpaying. 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Call now. 237 00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:06,730 On the next Iron Ring, Team Grand Hustle wraps up. 238 00:18:07,650 --> 00:18:11,410 Weak links will be eliminated. In all new Iron Ring. 239 00:18:11,710 --> 00:18:15,750 At J .G. Wentworth, we say get cash now for your structured settlement. 240 00:18:16,030 --> 00:18:17,630 J .G. Wentworth? Cash now? 241 00:18:17,910 --> 00:18:21,650 It's your money. Use it when you need it. J .G. Wentworth is right. 242 00:18:22,110 --> 00:18:24,250 It's my money and I need it now. 243 00:18:25,350 --> 00:18:27,410 It's my money and I need it now. 244 00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:33,720 It's my money, and I need it now! 245 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:39,040 If you have a structured settlement and you need cash now, J .G. Wentworth can 246 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:43,220 help. We'll buy all or part of your structured settlement for a lump sum 247 00:18:43,220 --> 00:18:47,340 amount, so you can pay bills that have piled up as a result of an injury or an 248 00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:48,340 inability to work. 249 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:52,000 Call J .G. Wentworth now and speak to one of our structured settlement 250 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:56,040 specialists. You'll get a no -cost appraisal and have all of your questions 251 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:59,000 answered. The call is free, and there's no obligation. 252 00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:00,940 It's my... 253 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,310 It's your money. 254 00:19:04,550 --> 00:19:08,810 Use it when you need it. Call 866 -591 -3199. 255 00:19:09,030 --> 00:19:11,310 866 -591 -3199. 256 00:19:11,830 --> 00:19:12,830 Earl, 257 00:19:13,410 --> 00:19:15,930 he shot Daddy! No, wait! 258 00:19:16,430 --> 00:19:18,210 Daddy! Are you alright? 259 00:19:18,650 --> 00:19:20,190 I'm fine, honey, I'm fine. 260 00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:22,430 What happened in here? We heard a gunshot. 261 00:19:22,970 --> 00:19:25,750 It accidentally went off. Got him right in the head. 262 00:19:26,670 --> 00:19:27,670 Oh, no. 263 00:19:28,170 --> 00:19:29,170 Not him. 264 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:30,680 The statue. 265 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,440 Oh, the burglar's just out cold. 266 00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:37,740 I'd better call the police. 267 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:38,819 Yeah, okay. 268 00:19:38,820 --> 00:19:41,500 Can I ask you what's that number? Yeah. 269 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:46,200 Hello. 270 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:50,800 Uh, yeah, listen. We just captured a burglar here. Could you send someone 271 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:51,800 right away, please? 272 00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:53,300 No, he's out cold. 273 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:55,700 No, I'm not a crank. 274 00:19:57,220 --> 00:19:58,520 My name is Philip Drummond. 275 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,920 I live at 697 Park Avenue, Penthouse A. 276 00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:04,160 Yeah. How is he? 277 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:05,960 He's coming to. 278 00:20:06,140 --> 00:20:07,140 Oh. 279 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,080 Now, the police are on their way, but I will use this thing if I have to. 280 00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:15,520 Make one move and I'll bite your ear off. 281 00:20:26,590 --> 00:20:28,310 Hey, why can't we talk this over, mister? 282 00:20:28,730 --> 00:20:31,210 I mean, you don't have to press charges. 283 00:20:31,490 --> 00:20:33,870 Why don't we just let bygones be bygones? 284 00:20:36,470 --> 00:20:37,470 What? 285 00:20:37,810 --> 00:20:41,930 After you broke into our home, held us at gunpoint, and threatened our lives? 286 00:20:42,230 --> 00:20:43,350 Come on, give me a break. 287 00:20:43,950 --> 00:20:46,870 I mean, my old man died when I was a kid. My mother's worked her fingers to 288 00:20:46,870 --> 00:20:49,030 bone. Now she's in the hospital hooked up to all these tubes. 289 00:20:49,390 --> 00:20:51,370 I mean, it'd break her heart if I went to jail. 290 00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:52,990 Oh, poor guy. 291 00:20:53,410 --> 00:20:56,010 I don't buy that story for one minute. 292 00:20:56,400 --> 00:21:01,800 Did I mention the tubes that she's hooked? That routine 293 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,880 usually works. 294 00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:06,360 Routine? 295 00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:09,440 Why, you're nothing but a sleazebag. 296 00:21:09,940 --> 00:21:10,940 Book him. 297 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,500 This is the thanks I get for trying to keep off welfare. 298 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:23,520 Okay. You want to tell me exactly what happened here? Yes. 299 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:29,400 One at a time. 300 00:21:29,620 --> 00:21:31,200 Officer, I think I can clear this up for you. 301 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:35,820 The burglar must have slipped into the apartment while the kids were out at the 302 00:21:35,820 --> 00:21:37,380 movies and I was out on a date. 303 00:21:37,820 --> 00:21:40,440 Well, actually, I was at her apartment. 304 00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:42,100 But that's another story. 305 00:21:45,620 --> 00:21:48,440 When I walked in, he was holding the kids at gunpoint. 306 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,340 He ordered me to open the safe. 307 00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:53,700 Now, I saw that it was a hard situation. 308 00:21:55,380 --> 00:21:56,500 But I kept my cool. 309 00:21:57,020 --> 00:21:58,440 so that I could formulate a plan. 310 00:22:00,620 --> 00:22:03,460 Kimberly had taken Pearl into the kitchen because she was ill. 311 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:09,280 My two sons were trying to compose themselves, but they were pretty scared. 312 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,900 I was waiting for the burglar to let his guard down, if only for a second. 313 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,640 But he kept watching me like a hawk. 314 00:22:17,380 --> 00:22:19,340 He knew I wasn't afraid of him. 315 00:22:20,660 --> 00:22:24,260 I opened the safe and handed the burglar some jewelry, and he told me to take 316 00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:25,260 out the rest of the stuff. 317 00:22:26,139 --> 00:22:27,240 This was my chance. 318 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:31,960 I deliberately tossed my wristwatch at him. He was so surprised he dropped his 319 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:34,980 gun. I pulled an old army trick. The gun went off. 320 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,720 The boys moved in to help, but it was already over. 321 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,500 And I put him away with a roundhouse right. 322 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,260 That sucker never knew what hit him. 323 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,700 And that's exactly the way it all happened, officer. Actually, we were 324 00:22:56,700 --> 00:22:57,940 any real danger at any time. 325 00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:01,580 Dad, I don't mean to disagree with you, but about the only thing he got right 326 00:23:01,580 --> 00:23:03,360 was that Pearl and Kimberly were in the kitchen. 327 00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:06,480 Now, this is the way it happened. 328 00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:10,380 Dad was fumbling around at the safe. 329 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,520 He was really scared, and so was Arnold. 330 00:23:14,820 --> 00:23:15,820 Me? 331 00:23:16,500 --> 00:23:18,420 I was cool as a cucumber. 332 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,360 You see, out in the street. 333 00:23:20,990 --> 00:23:22,990 And I know how to handle clowns like that. 334 00:23:23,330 --> 00:23:24,850 I was figuring out my choices. 335 00:23:25,390 --> 00:23:26,830 I could heave a chair at him. 336 00:23:28,290 --> 00:23:30,330 I could crush him with a flying body block. 337 00:23:33,510 --> 00:23:34,950 Then it came to me in a flash. 338 00:23:35,610 --> 00:23:39,710 I'd get Arnold to distract him while I attacked him on the other side. 339 00:23:41,110 --> 00:23:45,550 I tried to tell Arnold my plan, but he was too petrified to hear me. It was 340 00:23:45,550 --> 00:23:46,670 talking to a salami. 341 00:23:48,150 --> 00:23:50,270 So I realized it was all up to me. 342 00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:55,240 I don't know how Dad got the safe open. He was shaking so bad. 343 00:23:55,540 --> 00:23:58,180 But anyway, the burglar had his eye on Dad. 344 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,640 And then luckily, Dad dropped his wristwatch. 345 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:04,520 And the burglar grabbed for it. Dad tried to kick him and missed. And that's 346 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:05,520 when the gun went off. 347 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:08,140 Then Dad tried to punch him. 348 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,140 And missed by a mile. 349 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,420 That's when I decided to move in. 350 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:18,260 I spun that brother across the room and Arnold tried the karate, but all he was 351 00:24:18,260 --> 00:24:21,360 chopping was the air. So I decided to put that turkey away. 352 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:31,700 It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it. 353 00:24:36,500 --> 00:24:41,160 And that's exactly the way it happened. You see, officer, I'm not a violent man. 354 00:24:41,580 --> 00:24:46,460 But when it comes to saving my family, I don't hold back. 355 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:51,020 Well, I think you're ready for the Pinocchio Hall of Fame. 356 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:57,080 Well, look, that's close enough I gotta be going. I've already missed half of 357 00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:58,080 Hill Street Blues. 358 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:00,520 Wait a minute, officer. 359 00:25:00,820 --> 00:25:02,700 I can tell you what really happened. 360 00:25:03,300 --> 00:25:04,300 Don't tell me. 361 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,940 Pearl and Kimberly are still in the kitchen, right? 362 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,980 Right. But the rest of it went like this. 363 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,280 Dad was at the sink shaking like a leaf, and Willis was sitting there with 364 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:16,280 frozen eyeballs. 365 00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:19,780 And me, I was cool as a bear in a pool. 366 00:25:21,980 --> 00:25:25,760 I tried to snap Willis out of it, but his knees were knocking so loud, I could 367 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:26,860 hardly hear myself think. 368 00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:29,720 He looked like a water ceiling putty. 369 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:33,760 So I decided to handle it myself. 370 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:38,040 I may be on the small side, but I walk on the wild side. 371 00:25:41,580 --> 00:25:44,460 Dad finally got the safe open, and that's when I decided to make my move. 372 00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:48,860 Willis tried to stop me, but it was like trying to stop a raging bull with a red 373 00:25:48,860 --> 00:25:49,860 flag. 374 00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:54,340 That's when Dad pulled his wristwatch out of the safe, and he dropped it 375 00:25:54,340 --> 00:25:55,580 his hand was shaking so bad. 376 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:59,560 Dad tried to kick the burglar, and the gun went off. Then he tried to hit him, 377 00:25:59,580 --> 00:26:00,559 and missed. 378 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,680 Willis pulled himself together and took a swing at him, but he missed too. 379 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:06,960 That's when I moved in with my fist to death. 380 00:26:07,180 --> 00:26:08,180 I was out of control. 381 00:26:08,380 --> 00:26:11,320 It was kind of like a tribute to Bruce Lee. That burglar was no match. 382 00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,900 flipped him to the floor, and he was out for it. 383 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:20,180 And all that was left was to stuff and mount him and hang him on the fireplace. 384 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:25,140 And that's the way it happened. 385 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:31,940 Doctor, I'm afraid that my children are confusing you. 386 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,060 Oh, no. Whatever gave you that idea? 387 00:26:36,940 --> 00:26:41,100 Excuse me, but maybe I can shed some light on the situation. I know I was in 388 00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:43,120 kitchen, but my hearing is still very acute. 389 00:26:43,420 --> 00:26:45,200 Oh, just what we need, an ear witness. 390 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:54,700 I distinctly heard fighting going on in the living room, and I definitely knew 391 00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:56,280 it was Daddy punching him out. 392 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:59,100 But then again, it could have been Willis. 393 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,280 Now that I think about it, maybe it was Arnold doing his karate. 394 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:06,540 Thanks for clearing things up. 395 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:09,900 Anytime, officer. 396 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:14,200 Well, officer, it's only natural for children to become confused under a 397 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:15,940 stressful situation like this, but they're learning. 398 00:27:16,140 --> 00:27:20,520 Yeah, it doesn't matter. This happens all the time. We get witnesses who say 399 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:24,600 they saw a tall guy, a short guy, a white guy, a black guy, and it's all the 400 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:25,600 same guy. 401 00:27:25,660 --> 00:27:28,600 Well, this guy was definitely white and short. 402 00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:30,160 Oh, he was tall. 403 00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:31,960 No, he was short. Hold on, 404 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:33,760 hold on, hold on. 405 00:27:36,759 --> 00:27:40,740 You all agree that this guy broke into your home and tried to rob you. That's 406 00:27:40,740 --> 00:27:41,740 all we need to put him away. 407 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:45,560 Good night, Mr. Drummond. We'll be in touch. All right. Thank you very much. 408 00:27:46,060 --> 00:27:47,060 Well, 409 00:27:48,180 --> 00:27:52,520 it just goes to show you, your mind can really play tricks on you when it's 410 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:53,520 under pressure like that. 411 00:27:53,660 --> 00:27:54,459 It sure can. 412 00:27:54,460 --> 00:27:55,460 And not mine, of course. 413 00:27:57,300 --> 00:28:00,860 Well, it's been a long day, but at least we bagged a crook. 414 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,980 What do you say we all turn in? Huh, crime fighters? 415 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:05,520 Good night, boys. Good night. Bye, Dad. 416 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:06,840 You okay, Pearl? 417 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:10,820 I'm fine. I think I'll just straighten up a little down here. Good night. Good 418 00:28:10,820 --> 00:28:11,479 night, Dad. 419 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:14,900 Well, you still look a little wobbly to me, Pearl, so I think I'll stay up with 420 00:28:14,900 --> 00:28:16,560 you and help you out. Oh, thank you, Kimberly. 421 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,180 I mean, I guess we'll never know what really happened tonight. 422 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:21,720 Oh, yes, we will. 423 00:28:23,180 --> 00:28:24,620 I know the real story. 424 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,600 You do? How is that possible? 425 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:30,580 Well, remember when we went into the kitchen and you were looking for a paper 426 00:28:30,580 --> 00:28:32,780 bag? Yeah. I peeked through the kitchen door. 427 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,080 You saw everything that happened? 428 00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:37,980 Everything. Well, why didn't you say something before? 429 00:28:38,580 --> 00:28:42,400 I didn't want to embarrass Mr. Drummond and the boys in front of the policeman. 430 00:28:42,740 --> 00:28:43,760 Well, you can tell me. 431 00:28:44,100 --> 00:28:46,320 Good, I'm dying to tell someone. 432 00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:51,300 Well, there we were in the kitchen, and you were looking for a paper bag. 433 00:28:53,020 --> 00:28:57,500 Well, you had your back to me, so you didn't know that I slipped over to the 434 00:28:57,500 --> 00:28:58,520 door and peeked out. 435 00:28:59,660 --> 00:29:02,980 I could see Mr. Drummond at the safe. He was really scared. 436 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:04,700 The burglar had his gun on him. 437 00:29:05,860 --> 00:29:07,900 Both the boys were petrified too. 438 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:13,400 As for the burglar, he may have had a gun, but he was even more scared than 439 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:14,400 were. 440 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:20,140 Your father finally got the safe open and handed the burglar a jewelry box 441 00:29:20,140 --> 00:29:21,140 wrapped in a cloth. 442 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,840 Remember when that burglar told us he was allergic to acrylics? 443 00:29:25,050 --> 00:29:28,310 That must have been what the cloth on the jewelry box was made of. And then 444 00:29:28,310 --> 00:29:32,510 everything happened at once. Your father dropped the watch. The burglar tried to 445 00:29:32,510 --> 00:29:36,170 pick it up. Your father tried to kick it out of the way. The gun went off. The 446 00:29:36,170 --> 00:29:38,950 burglar had a terrific sneezing attack and couldn't stop. 447 00:29:39,150 --> 00:29:42,850 And Willis and Arnold tried to get in the act, but they only got in each 448 00:29:42,850 --> 00:29:43,850 way. 449 00:29:45,890 --> 00:29:50,050 Then the burglar went staggering across the room and he sneezed again and hit 450 00:29:50,050 --> 00:29:52,490 his head on the chair and knocked himself silly. 451 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:01,400 And that's really the way it happened. That's incredible. 452 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:05,320 I'm afraid the only hero was this little piece of acrylic. 453 00:30:07,740 --> 00:30:10,620 Did you hear that sneeze? 454 00:30:11,740 --> 00:30:12,940 The burglar's back. 455 00:30:13,340 --> 00:30:14,620 He must have gotten away. 456 00:30:15,580 --> 00:30:16,580 Okay. 457 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:18,240 Collect ourselves. 458 00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:19,500 Come on. 459 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:45,840 in the kitchen anyway. 460 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,900 I was making the sandwich. I was hungry. I came down the back stairs. 461 00:30:50,660 --> 00:30:53,740 Gosh, we heard you sneezing. We thought the burglar came back. 462 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:57,600 Oh, no. The reason I was sneezing is because I put too much pepper on his 463 00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:58,600 sandwich. 464 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,860 You scared us half to death. 465 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:02,500 Well, you guys relax. 466 00:31:02,900 --> 00:31:05,520 There's nothing to fear when Captain Karate is here. 467 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:48,560 Different scrolls and things. 36178

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