Original subtitles

The lights are on outside, but the world's somewhere too high,

cause I just don't want to take a bite

What you doing right now?

You know, I'm just chillin'. Don't chillin'. For how long you gonna be

that?

Hey, what's up, y 'all? This is Lil Mama, a .k .a. the voice of the young

people. Thank you for hanging out with me today.

But apparently, it's time for me to go.

See you later.

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some.

A man is born, he's a man of means.

Then along come two, they got nothing but the genes. But they got different

strokes to take, different strokes to take, different strokes to move the

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

That was a lot of fun.

His name is Mr. Horton. Right.

Hey, Mr.

Barticle Man!

You know,

I used to do that with knives till I cut myself out of the axe.

Another great entrance, Mr. Horton.

Hey, were you in the circus?

As a matter of fact, I was.

They used to bill me as the human cannonball.

Until the ball got too big for the cannon.

Well, we brought your bikes back in good shape, Mr. Horton.

Which is more than I can say for myself. I got knots where I don't even have

muscles.

Yeah, you're in great shape.

I mean, you're lean and thin.

And I can't even see where the fin is. On top.

Glad you noticed that, Arnold.

How much can I pay you for the bicycle rental?

Well, let's see. That's four bicycles, two hours. That's $28.

There you are.

Oh, I just love taking your money this way each week, Mr. D.

But I hate to see you blow it on rentals. Why don't you buy bikes for the

family? We discussed it, Mr. Horton, but we decided we don't need our own bikes.

Wait a minute. Hold the phone.

You may have decided, but nobody checked with the kid whose feet barely touched

the pedals.

Forget it, Arnold. We don't even have a place for a store bike.

Well, not only that, but there are a lot of strange... people out there, and I

just don't like the idea of you riding in the park all alone.

Well, then give me a bicycle built for two, and I'll have the chauffeur pedal

me.

Drop it, Arnold. We're gonna rent bikes.

Dad, it's normal for a kid to get his own bike at my age. Do you want me to

up with a twisted mind and a warped personality?

Too late. You already got them.

You know, I don't want to be in the middle, Mr. Drummond, but, uh...

This would be a great time to buy a bicycle.

And I can make you a terrific deal on this little red one right here. In fact,

it's one -third off.

Do you like this one, Arnold?

Wow.

Man, do I.

Dad, look at this.

Yeah, that's a beauty, all right. Dad, I'd really be safe on it. I'd wear a red

hat, red sweater, red socks.

I've got mixed emotions about this.

Oh, Dad, please.

Give me a bike, please.

Please. Don't just stand there. Help me grovel.

Well, Daddy, I guess he could keep his bike downstairs in the garage.

Yeah, Dad, and there's plenty of safe places to ride in the park. And as far

strange people go, I mean, they're everywhere.

We've got one living in our apartment.

Dad, I'd really be careful on it. I'm not a kid anymore.

I'm going to be 12 next month. In just 13 years, I can run for Congress.

And it's one -third off.

I definitely think you should have a bicycle before you leave for Washington.

Okay, Arnold, you can have it for your birthday.

Oh, thank you, Dad.

Oh, thanks, Mr. Horton.

I got a terrific idea, Arnold. You know, I got to get the word out on this

special sale I'm having.

I thought of...

You could pass these flyers out for me next week at school.

I'd give you this handlebar radio for your bicycle.

Give? Mm -hmm.

As in hand over, no strings?

You got it.

That is, if it's all right with your dad.

Oh, it's fine with me. I think you're very generous, Mr. Horton. Oh, he's

me a favor, too, you know.

What's the old saying? You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

You keep coming up with these presents, you could scratch me all over.

something for nothing take it off punch your lights out

just kidding how

you doing arnold terrible i'll never get that free radio for my bike

that's because you're using the wrong approach

than the one your best friend has.

This is your chance to stick his nose in it.

Don't get shut out. The share won't last long.

The bikes are so cheap, you can really make your parents feel guilty.

I tell you, folks, I gave you all that candy. As a matter of fact, why don't

just make it our little secret that you was even here?

Huh?

Atta boy.

That is great, Arnold. You're sure some terrific passer -out.

I am away with words when I put my mouth to it.

That's great, Arnold. I can see it now.

Hundreds of kids stampeding into my shop. They're buying everything in

They're buying a bicycle. They're buying a poster. They can't stop buying.

Now they're buying my clothes. They're buying my socks. They're buying my

They're buying my pants. You better buy a barrel before they buy your underwear.

You know, this calls for a celebration.

What's your favorite ice cream? Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry?

Yeah, them.

This sounds like a job for Captain Banana Split.

That's my kind of captain, the split.

Follow me.

Hey, this is like a house. Sure, I live here.

Boy, you sure got a lot of great games and stuff.

Oh, you like games?

Yeah, that's what I live for next to food.

I have a friend named Dudley in my class who'd like to earn a free radio, too.

Oh, really?

Is he as good a salesman as you are?

I guarantee it. I taught him everything he knows.

Well, it sounds like it might work out.

He's as good a guy as you are, but why don't you bring him on in here and we'll

talk it over.

You like the bananas, don't you? Yeah.

Okay. Lots of ice cream? Yes.

Oh, hey, listen, we'll make this a three -dipper job here.

Yes.

Chocolate sauce, huh? Yes.

Yeah, that looks good.

I'll bet you're a whipped cream man, too. Yes.

All right, we'll pile that whipped cream up there. Boy, look at that.

Yes.

And I just know you're not going to be satisfied until you've got a cherry

on top there, huh?

Yes.

Arnold, this is the tallest, the sweetest, the gooiest, the stickiest,

disgusting banana split I think I've ever made.

I think I'm going to cry.

You better eat it before it melts.

Oh, don't worry.

The way I eat it, it won't have a chance to melt.

My tongue's faster than a hummingbird's wing.

The hummingbird's wing.

Have a spoon.

All right. You know, Arnold, I've been thinking about that bicycle year. Me

Oh.

Just seems a shame that you have to wait until your birthday to enjoy it.

Maybe you and I could figure out a way you could have it before your birthday.

How? My dad won't get it for me until then.

If he's going to, maybe you could slip by after school and I could let you ride

it. Oh, wow, Mr. Horton, what a terrific thing to do.

You sure understand kids.

And you sure know how to pig out.

I like you too, Arnold.

You know, there's just one thing, though.

Maybe we better not let your dad know about the bike.

Why not?

I tell Dad everything.

Oh, well, that's great. I mean, that's exactly what you should do. But in this

case, it just might spoil his fun. See, if he found out that you had it before

he had a chance to give it to you.

Not to mention that I could get in trouble, too, you know, for letting you

it. Oh, I never thought of that. I wouldn't want to get you in trouble.

In fact, maybe it would be best if you didn't even mention, you know, that you

came back here and I gave you all this ice cream before dinner.

Why don't we just make it our little secret, huh?

You know something, Mr. Horton? You're sneaky.

Sneaky?

Yeah, I'm getting a whole new respect for sneaky.

You know something, Arnold? I really like you.

I really like you.

You and I are going to have a lot of good times together.

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Hi, Arnold.

Hi. Oh, that's a pretty good hug.

That's a pretty good bike you got me.

Listen, aren't you a little late getting home this afternoon?

Oh, uh, I was at Dudley's.

Dudley's? But he called to say he was coming over here.

Oh, that's probably why he wasn't home when I got there.

Well, where have you been?

I mean, do you know that it's almost time for dinner? Well, I was just

down the avenue and found my way to the pet shop, and I was going to come home,

but there was a lonesome parrot there to talk me out of it.

Next time, I think you should give him an argument.

Hey, where you been, Arnold?

Man, you missed your after -scoo snack in your before -dinner stomach starter.

That's okay. I'm not hungry.

You? Not hungry?

What did you do at the pet shop? Load up on kibble?

I'm just trying to cut down.

Either I'm gaining weight or the laundry's shrinking my shorts.

Good. Keep hanging.

Oh,

I'll get out of your way. I know you guys got some heavy talking to do.

What did you shush me for? I didn't want Dad to know that I was down at the

bicycle shop today.

Why not?

Because Mr. Horton and I loaded up on banana splits. I had bananas coming out

my ears.

Well, did you talk to him about me?

Yeah. He didn't want to go for it at first, but I gave him my hard sell.

And you're a real power, Arnold. I owe you a lot.

And don't ever forget it.

Come on, man. Let's go to my room.

What a drag.

Bet if it wasn't raining outside, I could be riding my new bike.

It sure is a beauty.

Great day for ducks, Arnold.

Yeah,

quack, quack.

Who's gonna ride my new bicycle today?

Oh, forget about the rain. Because you're my sunshine.

My only sunshine.

Hey, you make me happy when skies are gray.

You know, I started out to be a great singing star.

Then I had a little bad luck.

Some people heard me sing.

Oh,

this is my friend Dudley that I was telling you about.

Well, hi, Dudley. Hi, Mr. Horton.

Listen, my friend Arnold here tells me that you want to help pass out my

Will I get a radio, too? Well, if you can pass out those flyers like Arnold

does. I don't see why you shouldn't. He tells me he taught you everything he

knows. Oh, yes.

Don't you stand here, men. Let's track it down.

Ah, it's that way.

They don't call me old pizza nose for nothing.

We'll go where the nose goes because the nose knows.

And where the nose... Tell you guys, that pizza's in the oven.

I got some new comic books here, so look them over. Maybe we can play a little

video game later on.

Say, fellas, why don't you just make yourselves at home, huh? Because I've

couple of things to check yet out front.

Okay. All right.

Boy, this place is something else. Yeah, it sure is.

You know what I like about Mr. Horton?

He's just an all -around great guy.

Yeah. You'd never know he was a grown -up.

Yeah, and he shares a lot of comic books.

Yeah.

Guys, let's see how our pizza's going over.

Hi.

What's going on here, fella?

Oh, nothing much, is it, Dudley? Hardly anything at all.

We were just sitting here, uh, waiting for the pizza to pizza.

I think I see what's going on here.

Oh, you guys were looking at this, huh? No, we weren't. Well, Arnold was.

There's nothing to feel guilty about. It's okay. There is nothing wrong with

looking at ladies.

Even when there's that much lady to look at?

There's nothing wrong with being naked.

Especially if you've got nothing to be ashamed of.

Haven't your folks ever taken you to a museum?

You know, most of the famous statues are naked.

Yeah, but at least they had fig leaves. The one in the magazine didn't even have

a piece of parsley.

The point is, Arnold, that there's a good reason for looking at the human

and admiring it.

It's a work of art.

It's a magnificent thing.

That one in a magazine sure was.

Now, you see, Dudley understands.

Now, here, fellas, here's a little pepperoni pizza.

Now, this is hot stuff, too.

You know, guys, you can just have an awful lot of fun with your clothes off.

Unless, of course, you live at the North Pole and are going to freeze your tush

off.

What kind of fun?

Well, for instance, there's skinny dipping.

Hey, do you guys ever go skinny dipping?

Nah, I've never done that.

Me neither.

Unless you want to count the time when the fire hydrant blew my pants off.

Is skinny dipping fun?

Fun?

Listen, guys. Guys, if you have not gone skinny dipping, you have missed one of

the great joys in this life.

I think I got some pictures around here of a bunch of us skinny dipping.

You guys are going to love them.

Let's see if I can find them.

Oh, here they are right here.

Here we are down at the old water hole.

Hey, you don't have your clothes on either.

You don't think I'm going to let them kids have all the fun, do you?

Look, everybody's laughing and horsing around, having a good time. We had a

great old time that day.

Looks like fun to me.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't think I'd like the idea of running around and everybody staring at

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It lacks a certain dignity.

Well, if you ask me, there are too many uptight, dignified people in the world

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You know, that pizza would taste a whole lot better with a glass of wine.

You guys care for a sip?

No, thanks. We're too young.

Too young?

Huh? Do you realize that in France, everybody drinks wine, including kids

younger than you?

Yeah, Arnold. Don't you know anything?

I'll bet Dudley there takes a sip every now and then, huh?

Me? Uh, yeah, right.

As a matter of fact, my dad lets me have a little sip on special occasions.

Well, guys, this is a special occasion. We're in the bicycle business together.

Let's celebrate.

Uh -huh.

Sure, I'll have some. Here.

Come on, Arnold. Don't act like a premature kid.

Okay, I'll have just a sip. I hate to see my friends drink alone.

All right, gentlemen.

To our new partnership.

Found a hatch.

Found a hatch.

That stuff really burns your hatch.

It certainly warms your tummy on a cold, rainy day like today, huh?

You know, we ought to be playing some games.

I know a neat game with the camera.

You guys like to take pictures?

Yeah, we love it.

See if I got my... Ah, here's my trusty camera right here. Okay, here we go.

What kind of picture should we take?

Well, I got a great idea. Let's play Tarzan.

I think you would make a terrific Tarzan, Dudley.

Ain't no way I'm gonna play James.

All right, we'll make you the fearless leader of the safari. Here you go.

Hey, all right.

Just call me the one of...

Why don't you stand over there in front of that man -eating plant there, huh?

All right. And you pretend that Dudley here is saving you from it.

You can do that, can't you, Arnold? Okay. Stay right there.

Now, pretend like it's got you in its clutches.

Let's make this more authentic.

Tarzan never had a shirt on, Dudley. Dudley, take your shirt off. Okay.

Now, let me help you with that, lad.

Aha. Oh, that's nice.

Aha.

Oh, boy.

He's got a great physique, huh?

I think he's built more like a pipe cleaner than Tarzan.

Okay, now, I'll tell you what. Let's show those muscles, Dudley.

That's good.

Fine. Now, we're going to take some pictures, and we're going to have

little sip of wine, and we're going to take some more pictures.

So strike a pose for me there.

Let's see what you do.

Hey, that's great, guys.

Guys? We're just going to have a great time together this afternoon.

All right, let's see those poses some more.