All language subtitles for Diffrent Strokes s04e24 Short But Sweet

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,759 --> 00:00:03,880 It wouldn't be right to throw a big party while the economy is in such a 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:06,000 recession. Thank you, Elliot Janeway. 3 00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:08,400 Bye. Bye. 4 00:00:09,020 --> 00:00:13,300 You know, when Arnold starts to worry about the economy, I start to worry 5 00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:16,820 Arnold. I have a feeling there's something that he is not telling us. 6 00:00:16,820 --> 00:00:18,320 would he turn on a birthday party? 7 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,240 You're not having a birthday party? 8 00:00:23,660 --> 00:00:25,440 Arnold, you just ruin my appetite. 9 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:30,800 In that case, I'll finish your lunch. I just got my appetite back. 10 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:36,240 Well, I'm sorry, Dudley, but there isn't going to be a birthday party. 11 00:00:37,060 --> 00:00:39,860 Man, there's sure going to be a lot of disappointed kids, Arnold. 12 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:44,100 Your birthday party's a social event of the year, next to some of Cockroach 13 00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:45,100 Race's at school. 14 00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:49,560 I have my reasons for not having a party, Dudley. 15 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:50,800 Like what? 16 00:00:51,780 --> 00:00:54,860 Well, I can't tell you. It's very personal. 17 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,500 Look. I'll make a trade with you. 18 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:01,460 If I tell you something real personal about me, then can you tell me? 19 00:01:02,380 --> 00:01:03,380 I guess so. 20 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,000 Okay. 21 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:12,280 Don't ever mention this, but one night last week, I dreamed I was a baby. 22 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:21,100 I was lying in my crib, sucking on a pacifier. 23 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:26,140 When I woke up, I discovered I wet my bed. 24 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:33,060 That's not personal enough. 25 00:01:35,380 --> 00:01:36,880 Not personal enough? 26 00:01:37,380 --> 00:01:38,960 Even my mother doesn't know. 27 00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:42,920 I was washing sheets at 2 o 'clock in the morning. 28 00:01:46,020 --> 00:01:49,300 Some friend you are, Arnold. Get yourself another death penalty. 29 00:01:49,580 --> 00:01:53,060 Don't wait, Dudley. I'll tell you. I don't want to hear it. It's too late. 30 00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:59,410 Okay. Why don't you want to give a party? 31 00:02:00,810 --> 00:02:02,410 Well, look at me. 32 00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:03,670 Okay. 33 00:02:05,610 --> 00:02:06,610 What do you see? 34 00:02:07,350 --> 00:02:08,350 I see you. 35 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:10,990 Now, what about me? 36 00:02:12,790 --> 00:02:13,870 You got a new pimple? 37 00:02:15,470 --> 00:02:17,210 I mean, besides that. 38 00:02:17,430 --> 00:02:19,870 Look at all of me. Not just my face. 39 00:02:21,170 --> 00:02:22,170 What do you see? 40 00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:37,760 I wet the bed and you tell me you're short? 41 00:02:38,580 --> 00:02:40,080 Arnold, everybody knows that. 42 00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,620 Yeah, especially girls. 43 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:46,720 That's the problem. 44 00:02:47,340 --> 00:02:50,160 You mean you're not going to have another birthday party to your tall? 45 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,240 Nope. Girls don't go for me. 46 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,660 Are you kidding? 47 00:02:55,020 --> 00:02:56,220 You're very popular. 48 00:02:56,540 --> 00:02:57,540 Girls like you. 49 00:02:58,260 --> 00:02:59,800 Not the way I want them to. 50 00:03:02,540 --> 00:03:04,180 They don't take me seriously. 51 00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:05,960 They... Treat me like a pet. 52 00:03:08,540 --> 00:03:13,040 They pat my head, rub my cheeks, pull my ears. 53 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,400 They do everything but throw a stick and yell fetch. 54 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,380 Come on, Arnold. You're exaggerating. 55 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:26,820 No, I'm not. It was different when I was younger. But now that I'm 11, 56 00:03:26,980 --> 00:03:28,480 everybody's got a girl but me. 57 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:33,300 No girl wants to kiss a guy who only comes up to her training bra. 58 00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:40,090 have a girl, Dudley. 59 00:03:40,910 --> 00:03:42,790 What do you mean, even me? 60 00:03:45,210 --> 00:03:47,270 I'm a very charming, debonair dude. 61 00:03:51,110 --> 00:03:53,870 I'm one of the most eligible guys in the sixth grade. 62 00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:57,270 You're also taller than me. 63 00:03:57,830 --> 00:04:00,130 That's why you got a girl and I don't. 64 00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:01,750 Hi, fellas. 65 00:04:01,770 --> 00:04:02,770 Hi. 66 00:04:03,470 --> 00:04:04,710 Hi, Teresa. 67 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:11,620 See what I mean? 68 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,020 I'm surprised you didn't offer me a bowl of kibble. 69 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,300 Are you kidding? 70 00:04:17,820 --> 00:04:18,820 She likes you. 71 00:04:19,180 --> 00:04:21,579 She makes a special point of coming over. 72 00:04:21,820 --> 00:04:24,600 She gives you a big smile and a big hello. 73 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:28,160 And you just sit there like that incredible lump. 74 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:31,360 Don't you like her? 75 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:32,919 Like her? 76 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,440 When I'm not dreaming about food, I dream about her. 77 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,440 But what did you expect me to do? 78 00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:40,610 Climb up on her lap? and kiss her? 79 00:04:42,270 --> 00:04:46,410 No, but if you acted more friendly and invited her to that party that you ought 80 00:04:46,410 --> 00:04:48,510 to be throwing, I bet she'd say yes. 81 00:04:48,890 --> 00:04:50,850 No way. You're just chicken. 82 00:04:52,830 --> 00:04:53,830 Okay, Dudley. 83 00:04:54,070 --> 00:04:58,490 I guess I'm gonna have to show you. I'm gonna go over there and ask her and 84 00:04:58,490 --> 00:05:02,670 she's gonna dump all over me and make me feel like dirt and then that'll prove 85 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:03,830 what a fool you are. 86 00:05:06,510 --> 00:05:07,510 Sounds reasonable. 87 00:05:12,970 --> 00:05:13,970 Hi, Teresa. 88 00:05:14,110 --> 00:05:15,590 Can I talk to you for a second? 89 00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:16,830 Sure. 90 00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:21,130 Um, well, Saturday's my birthday. 91 00:05:21,490 --> 00:05:23,410 Not that I'm trying to hit you up for a present. 92 00:05:23,710 --> 00:05:25,630 Well, congratulations, Arnold. 93 00:05:31,950 --> 00:05:32,950 Anyway, 94 00:05:34,490 --> 00:05:36,930 I was thinking of throwing a party. 95 00:05:37,210 --> 00:05:40,210 And if I did, you probably wouldn't want to come. 96 00:05:40,530 --> 00:05:41,790 Oh, I'd love to. 97 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,820 I don't blame you for not... Did you say love, too? 98 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:51,080 I'd like to go very much, Arnold. I'm glad you asked me. 99 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:53,040 You are? 100 00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:54,440 Well, that's terrific. 101 00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:57,400 It's Saturday night at my penthouse. 102 00:05:58,140 --> 00:05:59,140 Arnold! 103 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,180 Did you change your mind? 104 00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:04,520 No, but what time is the party? 105 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:06,300 What time would you like it to be? 106 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:09,160 How about 7 o 'clock? 107 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,120 You got it. I'll see you. 108 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,680 We're going to have the best party I ever gave. 109 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:23,840 Only this time we're not going to be stupid. 110 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:27,480 We're going to shake hands first, then play spin the bottle. 111 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:32,040 Way to go, lover. 112 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:35,960 Hi, Teresa. 113 00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:37,620 Hi, Arnold. 114 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,420 I forgot to ask you. 115 00:06:41,020 --> 00:06:42,460 How are you getting to the party? 116 00:06:42,780 --> 00:06:44,400 I guess my folks will bring me. 117 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:48,640 I can do better than that. I'll send my dad's chauffeur limo for you. 118 00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:53,140 I'm talking long, black, and paid for. 119 00:06:56,760 --> 00:07:02,700 Oh, I can't believe this. It's just like in the movies. A penthouse, a big 120 00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:04,400 party, a limo. 121 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,360 I feel like Cinderella. 122 00:07:07,820 --> 00:07:08,820 Yeah? 123 00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:12,200 How would you like to be Cinderella? 124 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:13,720 What do you mean? 125 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:17,200 What I mean is, I'll make it a costume party. 126 00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:19,160 And you could dress like Cinderella. 127 00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:22,280 But please, don't think of me as your fairy godmother. 128 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,120 Marlon, you're too much. I am? 129 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,060 picked up in a limousine. 130 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,300 Limousine? Fantastic! 131 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,820 That's right, Dudley. I got a date with Teresa. 132 00:08:00,140 --> 00:08:01,360 I got a date! 133 00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:05,860 I guess she liked you all the time, but you just never made the big move. 134 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,080 Yeah. 135 00:08:07,460 --> 00:08:11,340 Hey, maybe I got that kind of charm that sneaks up on women. 136 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:15,680 But anyway, it looks like little Arnold's got himself a big mama. 137 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,900 This is going to be the biggest night of my life. 138 00:08:24,140 --> 00:08:25,140 Come on. 139 00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:30,580 One man seeks redemption. 140 00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:35,880 I got to have one in midlife crisis, you know. And find his voice. 141 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,820 It's a BET Blackbuster movie premiere. 142 00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:40,079 Hustle and flow. 143 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:41,080 Tomorrow at 9. 144 00:08:59,370 --> 00:09:02,590 Life comes at you fast, and then it hits you. 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Only from Hanes. 164 00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:14,610 Fans of BETJ, the real life divas agree. 165 00:10:14,830 --> 00:10:16,450 The interviews are amazing. 166 00:10:16,730 --> 00:10:18,250 These divas are for real. 167 00:10:18,490 --> 00:10:21,030 You'll be as happy as you can be in this lifetime. 168 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:26,140 Viewers are saying this show opens your eyes to some truly inspirational women. 169 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,260 After 50, I was told that no prisoners. 170 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,160 Uplifting and positive. 171 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:34,940 Real Life Divas is excellent viewing. I chose to do what I'm doing, and it's a 172 00:10:34,940 --> 00:10:40,640 blessing. Catch Real Life Divas, Sundays at 1130, 1030 Central on BET. 173 00:10:42,030 --> 00:10:48,050 Watch Super Tuesday on BEC, two new adrenaline -pumping original shows. 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Don't be as happy as you can be. 182 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:21,380 In this lifetime. 183 00:11:21,540 --> 00:11:26,220 Viewers are saying this show opens your eyes to some truly inspirational women. 184 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,340 After 50, I was told there's no prisoners. 185 00:11:28,940 --> 00:11:30,240 Uplifting and positive. 186 00:11:30,460 --> 00:11:35,020 Real Life Divas is excellent viewing. I chose to do what I'm doing. And it's a 187 00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:40,740 blessing. Chat to Real Life Divas. Sundays at 1130, 1030 Central on BET. 188 00:11:44,460 --> 00:11:48,500 I'll put these over here. Great. Here, Adelaide. Thanks a lot for helping me, 189 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:51,360 gang. Oh, they are going to look so cute in their costumes. 190 00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:55,340 Oh, Willis, couldn't we hang around so we could see them? No way. Right, Dad? 191 00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:57,020 Right. Arnold gave strict orders. 192 00:11:57,220 --> 00:12:00,000 Anybody over 12 years old caught in the living room gets a nose full of party 193 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,000 dip. 194 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,000 Well, what about you, Adelaide? You're over 12. 195 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:05,680 I got a fake ID. 196 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,620 Arnold gave me a special pass for serving. 197 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:26,190 I put hairspray on my plumes. 198 00:12:28,190 --> 00:12:29,790 Who are you supposed to be, Arnold? 199 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,570 Who else? Prince Charming. 200 00:12:31,890 --> 00:12:34,070 Might one ask if there's a Cinderella? 201 00:12:34,530 --> 00:12:38,410 One might ask, but one ain't gonna see her because one ain't gonna be here. 202 00:12:41,830 --> 00:12:45,150 I happen to know that Cinderella's name is Teresa. 203 00:12:45,550 --> 00:12:48,710 I'm arranged to have her picked up in my chauffeur -driven pumpkin. 204 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:54,370 Sounds like we got a hot romance going on here. Tell us about it, Prince. 205 00:12:55,610 --> 00:12:59,270 Well, I first saw her last semester. 206 00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:03,590 Our eyes went across a crowded cafeteria. 207 00:13:06,050 --> 00:13:09,770 I got so excited, I squeezed my hot dog right out of the bun. 208 00:13:12,890 --> 00:13:15,090 Boy, she must be something really special. 209 00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:18,710 All right, how come you never mentioned your dream girl before now? 210 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,570 I never knew she liked me. 211 00:13:21,020 --> 00:13:24,380 I worshipped her from afar, but now I'm going to worship her from an ear. 212 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:30,700 His Highness has just issued a royal proclamation. We're all banished from 213 00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:31,700 living room. 214 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:36,280 My first guest. Get banished. I'm going. Get banished. I'm going. 215 00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:37,580 I'm going. I'm going. 216 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:08,880 Food's on the table. 217 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,060 Everybody, start pigging out. 218 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,800 Who are you supposed to be, Arnie? 219 00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:18,420 Prince Charming. Who are you? 220 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:19,880 President Reagan. 221 00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:25,040 President Reagan? 222 00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:28,800 Yeah, in his movie, Cattle Queen of Montana. 223 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,080 I was lucky. I missed that one. 224 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,560 Have some food, Dudley. Okay. 225 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,280 mine. 226 00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:53,120 Well, it's a coincidence that Prince Charming meets a Cinderella in the 227 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:58,020 going to the same party. It's not a coincidence, Arnold. We came together in 228 00:14:58,020 --> 00:14:58,879 your limousine. 229 00:14:58,880 --> 00:14:59,880 Billy's my date. 230 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,460 You're talking about Teresa. 231 00:15:16,209 --> 00:15:17,590 Well, enjoy yourselves. 232 00:15:19,010 --> 00:15:20,970 Uh, excuse me. 233 00:15:21,810 --> 00:15:25,610 I have to go to the kitchen to kill myself. 234 00:15:27,750 --> 00:15:30,990 You're sitting on the couch, you're watching TV, and your life's passing you 235 00:15:31,090 --> 00:15:34,010 Maybe I'll go to school next year, maybe next semester. No, do it right now. 236 00:15:34,130 --> 00:15:37,190 They'll work with you after work, or you can go before work. Go talk to somebody 237 00:15:37,190 --> 00:15:40,350 right now. They out to help you. All you gotta do is pick up the phone and make 238 00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:42,570 the call. Why are you making it complicated? It's easy. 239 00:15:42,870 --> 00:15:44,670 I refer to myself as just, 240 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,980 It's hard to control them. Because they used to be up here and now they're down 241 00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:51,600 here. Fall out over here and they'll fall out over there. 242 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,300 I need a bra that is going to pick it up and pull it back. Help them up. You 243 00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:58,040 lift them up. A beautiful, supportive bra. 244 00:15:58,280 --> 00:15:59,280 Could it be true? 245 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:03,500 The Playtex 18 -Hour Comfort Lace Bra. The great fit you expect from Playtex. 246 00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:05,140 Now with beautiful lace detail. 247 00:16:05,420 --> 00:16:06,600 My ex -husband was a leg man. 248 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:07,659 Was he? 249 00:16:07,660 --> 00:16:08,660 That's why he's my ex -husband. 250 00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:12,420 Playtex. Who knows you like we do? 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And check this out. 263 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,339 At UTI, you can graduate in just about a year. 264 00:17:05,540 --> 00:17:07,280 Don't put this off another minute. 265 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:11,440 Call UTI right now and we'll send you a free information kit. Universal 266 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:12,599 Technical Institute. 267 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,880 The following is rated SX viewer discretion advised. 268 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:22,240 HeliBlueBooksKBB .com calls it one of the top 10 coolest new cars under $18 269 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:23,240 ,000. 270 00:17:23,540 --> 00:17:27,140 IntelliChoice .com gives it their Smart Choice Award. 271 00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:30,440 And it's the most affordable all -wheel drive in America. 272 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:35,520 The Suzuki SX4 Crossover. Now playing at your local Suzuki dealer. 273 00:17:36,590 --> 00:17:41,510 It's going to be a great ride. Right now, get 0 % financing for 60 months on 274 00:17:41,510 --> 00:17:42,730 Suzuki's. Hurry in. 275 00:17:43,090 --> 00:17:45,090 Rats, it gets down and dirty. 276 00:17:45,370 --> 00:17:46,770 Guess who's back in the building? 277 00:17:47,070 --> 00:17:48,390 Nothing but party people. 278 00:17:48,730 --> 00:17:52,150 It's your dirty Nelly. I'm going to be holding this thing down all week. It's a 279 00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:56,690 hot and hair Nelly takeover. I'll be doing this thing all week. Nelly, grab 280 00:17:56,690 --> 00:17:57,690 city. I'm here. 281 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:02,020 There are people that don't want to be around each other. What kind of bisexual 282 00:18:02,020 --> 00:18:03,180 was this? 283 00:18:03,420 --> 00:18:06,600 It was just inappropriate for my mother to be in the room. The tissue is so 284 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,400 thick you can cut it with a knife. We decided to go out. 285 00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:11,380 Don't make me because I will. 286 00:18:11,660 --> 00:18:13,060 I can't go out to dinner with this mother. 287 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,240 You can tell he's frustrated. 288 00:18:15,620 --> 00:18:17,060 His jaw is clenched. 289 00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,500 He's not really trying to say anything. 290 00:18:18,780 --> 00:18:20,380 I just want to choke. Get out of the mother. 291 00:18:21,380 --> 00:18:25,700 He came out there catching all new cows. 292 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:48,940 We would have been here sooner, but we're up there counting our blessings. 293 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:50,480 Malcolm and Eddie. See? 294 00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:53,540 Fix it good as new. What you talking about weekdays? 295 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,560 Different strokes. Malcolm and Eddie. Weekdays at 9. 296 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:57,760 Only on BET. 297 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:02,140 On the next Iron Ring, see who the hopeless learn their faith. 298 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,300 Woo! What are you talking about here? What are you talking about? The all -new 299 00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:06,660 Iron Ring 2. 300 00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:09,700 Every trip. 301 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,460 Every time. 302 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,120 California, here I come! 303 00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:14,700 Buckle up. 304 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,420 Though you and your friends get home safely. 305 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:23,500 Screaming to the world from the top of some place very high. See if I'll save 306 00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:26,240 lives. Okay. Visit NHTSA .gov. 307 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:27,520 Low and slow. 308 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,620 Best friend, what are you going to do? 309 00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:34,400 Brought to you by the U .S. Department of Transportation and the Ad Council. 310 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,880 That is spectacular advice. 311 00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:46,060 This is a man who almost learned to walk at a rehab center that almost got 312 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,060 built. 313 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,740 By people who almost gave money. 314 00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:52,500 Almost gave. 315 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,100 How good is almost giving? 316 00:19:56,460 --> 00:19:59,280 About as good as almost work. 317 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:07,080 The doctor recommend what's best for you. Sponsored by Honey Nut Cheerios and 318 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,080 the BET Foundation. 319 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,960 Why don't we get... Okay, enjoy the movie. Can I have fun, kids? 320 00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:16,000 Hey, Arnold, how's the party going? You having a good time? 321 00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:18,110 Send everybody home. 322 00:20:19,530 --> 00:20:20,850 What do you mean? 323 00:20:21,150 --> 00:20:22,670 This party is canceled. 324 00:20:23,610 --> 00:20:24,730 But it just started. 325 00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:27,930 You know that girl I'm so crazy about? 326 00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:29,330 What about her? 327 00:20:29,430 --> 00:20:30,430 I hate her. 328 00:20:31,470 --> 00:20:32,530 What happened, Arnold? 329 00:20:33,770 --> 00:20:34,970 Billy came with Teresa. 330 00:20:35,390 --> 00:20:36,390 She's her date. 331 00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:39,390 Oh, no, wait a minute. I thought that you were her date. 332 00:20:39,630 --> 00:20:40,630 So did I. 333 00:20:40,810 --> 00:20:43,930 I'd like to give Cinderella a shot with her glass whippers. 334 00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:47,380 Look, little brother, you want to win, Teresa? 335 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:48,800 Well, here's what you do. 336 00:20:49,220 --> 00:20:53,740 You just slide up to a real cool and you say, here's what's going down, baby. 337 00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:57,600 You only have eyes for me because I'm your fella, Cinderella. 338 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:01,720 Lewis, you're so full of bull. 339 00:21:05,740 --> 00:21:09,660 You never came on to me like that. What I liked about you was that you were just 340 00:21:09,660 --> 00:21:10,639 the opposite. 341 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,140 You were sweet and kind and gentle. 342 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,620 Charlene, let's get out of here before you ruin my reputation. 343 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:18,780 Can I go with you? 344 00:21:19,180 --> 00:21:20,600 Mine's already ruined. 345 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,560 Hey, I'm sorry this happened, Arnold. 346 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:25,040 Well, tell me something. 347 00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:28,940 If Teresa had a date with you, why would she bring somebody else? 348 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,080 Because she's a bigamist, that's why. 349 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,920 Are you sure there hasn't been some kind of a misunderstanding here? 350 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:38,440 No. 351 00:21:38,700 --> 00:21:42,080 I personally asked her to come over, and she leaned right down and said yes to 352 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,080 my face. 353 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:47,380 And did you make it perfectly clear that you were asking her to be your date at 354 00:21:47,380 --> 00:21:48,760 your party, not just a guest? 355 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:50,280 Run up on me again? 356 00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:55,120 See, Arnold, I think it's possible that she didn't know that she was going to be 357 00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:56,120 your date. 358 00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,020 You know, you're right, Dad. 359 00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:01,460 When I asked her, I was nervous. 360 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,440 Well, the same thing's happened to me, Arnold. 361 00:22:03,660 --> 00:22:04,660 How old were you? 362 00:22:05,740 --> 00:22:06,800 Fifty. It was last night. 363 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:13,400 Mr. Dan, I'll never get a girl of my own. 364 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,100 Oh, that's not at all true, Arnold. 365 00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:22,620 You're selling yourself short. I mean... Listen, son, come here. 366 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:30,280 See, everybody has certain problems, certain handicaps that they have to 367 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:31,280 to live with. 368 00:22:31,620 --> 00:22:33,240 I think I'm going to be a monk. 369 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:36,540 I'm going to give up women and be celebrated. 370 00:22:39,820 --> 00:22:41,220 I don't think you have to go quite that far. 371 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,840 You know, actually, son, you've got an awful lot going for you. 372 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,220 Being short doesn't really matter. 373 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,600 That's easy to say when you're tall. 374 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:52,800 Well, look at Napoleon. 375 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,620 His wife was the beautiful Josephine. 376 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,800 And the famous jockey, Willie Shoemaker, he has a beautiful wife. 377 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,040 Even Mickey Rooney, all eight of his wives are very beautiful. 378 00:23:02,940 --> 00:23:05,320 I don't want a wife. I want a date. 379 00:23:07,780 --> 00:23:12,890 Well, That shouldn't be too hard for a guy with all your natural charm and 380 00:23:12,890 --> 00:23:14,950 and good manners, except when you're reading, of course. 381 00:23:16,730 --> 00:23:20,770 Always remember this, Arnold. Women like to be treated with respect and 382 00:23:20,770 --> 00:23:21,770 consideration. 383 00:23:22,450 --> 00:23:23,289 They do? 384 00:23:23,290 --> 00:23:24,290 Oh, sure. 385 00:23:24,410 --> 00:23:25,410 In school. 386 00:23:25,750 --> 00:23:27,770 You've read about Sir Walter Raleigh, haven't you? 387 00:23:28,330 --> 00:23:30,890 Yeah. He's the clown that invented cigarettes. 388 00:23:33,190 --> 00:23:36,610 Yeah, that's true, but he also did some good things. Now, there was a real 389 00:23:36,610 --> 00:23:41,040 gentleman. On one occasion, a lady wanted to cross the street, but there 390 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,100 this big puddle of water. You know what he did? 391 00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:46,680 He took off his cape and he threw it over the puddle so her feet wouldn't get 392 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,200 wet. After that, all the women in London loved him. 393 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:50,259 Did he? 394 00:23:50,260 --> 00:23:51,260 Right. 395 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:54,040 And the only time he didn't have a woman with him was when they buried him. 396 00:23:55,580 --> 00:23:59,540 Arnold, instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you should make the best of 397 00:23:59,540 --> 00:24:02,220 you got. I promise you, you'll be surprised at the results. 398 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,380 But how do I do that? 399 00:24:06,050 --> 00:24:07,990 Let me give you a couple of suggestions. 400 00:24:11,890 --> 00:24:14,150 Are my guests enjoying themselves? 401 00:24:14,650 --> 00:24:16,370 Yeah, it's a great party, Arnold. 402 00:24:17,270 --> 00:24:18,770 Aren't you eating, my dear? 403 00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:22,430 May I show you something in the way of a hot dog? Thank you, Arnold. 404 00:24:23,910 --> 00:24:25,350 All right, here we go. 405 00:24:25,850 --> 00:24:27,610 Get one of these hot dogs. 406 00:24:28,910 --> 00:24:29,910 Mustard. 407 00:24:30,890 --> 00:24:31,890 Here you are. 408 00:24:32,010 --> 00:24:34,410 Thanks. These hot dogs look good, Arnold. 409 00:24:35,790 --> 00:24:37,850 like one, my dear? Yes, I would. Good. 410 00:24:39,510 --> 00:24:45,630 Ladies first. 411 00:24:46,170 --> 00:24:47,950 You're very considerate, Arnold. 412 00:24:49,590 --> 00:24:53,810 There aren't many of us gentlemen left, and I love the zilch in your voice. 413 00:24:54,450 --> 00:24:55,690 Thank you, Arnold. 414 00:24:56,550 --> 00:24:59,570 And the cute way you tilt your head when you giggle. 415 00:25:10,700 --> 00:25:12,540 I'll get you a glass of punch, Teresa. 416 00:25:12,860 --> 00:25:14,200 Thank you. My pleasure. 417 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:15,940 What are you going to do? 418 00:25:16,660 --> 00:25:17,820 Drink it for her? 419 00:25:18,380 --> 00:25:19,860 Yes, if she wishes. 420 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:21,880 Look, she's my date. 421 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:23,440 I'll get it for her. 422 00:25:24,060 --> 00:25:25,860 Hey, now what could you have done? 423 00:25:26,060 --> 00:25:27,580 It's all over the floor. 424 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:29,700 No problem. 425 00:25:30,100 --> 00:25:31,100 No problem. 426 00:25:52,780 --> 00:25:56,500 It's just that he's 11 now, and I hear puberty can do weird things to a guy. 427 00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:02,500 Well, I think Arnold is the only gentleman here. 428 00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:04,180 Yeah, I'm with you. 429 00:26:04,940 --> 00:26:07,580 Well, thank you for being so considerate, Arnold. 430 00:26:07,980 --> 00:26:09,940 You know, you've got a lot of class. 431 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:11,600 No sweat. 432 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,180 Excuse me. Could I talk to you for a second? 433 00:26:16,220 --> 00:26:21,260 Do you think we could go to a movie or something sometime? 434 00:26:21,820 --> 00:26:22,820 Like a real date? 435 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:27,160 Well, to tell you the truth, Arnold, I never thought of you that way. 436 00:26:28,860 --> 00:26:29,860 Oh. 437 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:31,680 I understand. 438 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,100 Well, eat all you want anyway. 439 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:36,040 Just a minute. 440 00:26:36,940 --> 00:26:42,500 I never thought of you that way because at school you're just a... Well, just a 441 00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:43,500 cute little kid. 442 00:26:43,860 --> 00:26:44,860 I know. 443 00:26:46,660 --> 00:26:50,800 But now that I see this side of you, I realize there's much more to you. 444 00:26:51,900 --> 00:26:53,860 Yeah? Like what? 445 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:57,820 Well, you're so confident, thoughtful, and charming. 446 00:26:58,140 --> 00:26:59,140 That's me. 447 00:27:00,260 --> 00:27:02,380 So, can we go on a date sometime? 448 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:03,860 I'd love to. 449 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:06,880 Oh, man. 450 00:27:09,220 --> 00:27:11,620 Would you like to walk across my cape again? 451 00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:47,600 Nothing but the... 452 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,220 is in 20 minutes. I can't leave without him. He's got my clubs. 453 00:28:28,060 --> 00:28:31,540 Oh, well, if he doesn't show up, I'll be glad to take his place. 454 00:28:32,500 --> 00:28:33,500 You go? 455 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:38,760 Well, I don't want to brag or anything, but I got a hole -in -one last week. 456 00:28:39,060 --> 00:28:41,280 What? Oh, yo, that's great. 457 00:28:41,860 --> 00:28:45,980 You just got to wait for the clown's mouth to get all the way open. 458 00:29:07,950 --> 00:29:09,250 Too much time on your head. 459 00:29:10,690 --> 00:29:11,690 Cool. 460 00:29:12,110 --> 00:29:15,470 Can I drive it? No, but you can watch it. 461 00:29:16,870 --> 00:29:17,870 Thanks. 462 00:29:19,350 --> 00:29:26,190 This is nice work and all, but don't you think it's a little, I don't know, over 463 00:29:26,190 --> 00:29:27,129 the top? 464 00:29:27,130 --> 00:29:29,450 No, man, this is me, Eddie Sherman. 465 00:29:30,250 --> 00:29:32,070 Red flames on blue skies. 466 00:29:39,530 --> 00:29:40,449 You got a good figure? 467 00:29:40,450 --> 00:29:41,450 You tell me. 468 00:30:05,710 --> 00:30:07,010 Isn't it quite funny, Bob? 469 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:11,320 inside getting home. 470 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:48,540 I'll take the crab cake, vodka gimlet, and your phone number, kitten. 471 00:30:53,660 --> 00:30:54,660 Kitten? 472 00:30:55,740 --> 00:30:56,740 That's right. 473 00:30:56,820 --> 00:31:01,140 You're soft, you're cute, and I can make you purr. 474 00:31:03,780 --> 00:31:04,719 Oh, really? 475 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,440 Well, I'm tired, I'm cranky, and I can make you a woman. 476 00:31:19,660 --> 00:31:21,680 hands on me. Girl, you know you like that. 477 00:31:22,300 --> 00:31:24,700 Well, now I'm going to have to put my hands on you. 478 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:26,680 Please do. 479 00:31:29,100 --> 00:31:30,100 Hey, 480 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:32,380 what's going on here? That's just crazy. 481 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,100 He touched me in an inappropriate manner. 482 00:31:36,340 --> 00:31:39,600 Nick and Letty is a valued customer of the 50 -50 Club. 483 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:43,480 Now, if there's any more problems, please let me handle it. Now, do I make 484 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:44,480 myself clear? 485 00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:45,800 Yes, sir. 486 00:31:46,140 --> 00:31:47,220 Hand me the tray. 487 00:31:48,220 --> 00:31:49,340 Get your freaking 488 00:31:56,590 --> 00:32:03,450 If I wasn't a Christian... Thank you, Eddie. But you 489 00:32:03,450 --> 00:32:04,850 know I could have handled him myself. 490 00:32:05,270 --> 00:32:07,850 I know. I just didn't want you to break a fingernail or something. 491 00:32:08,870 --> 00:32:11,710 You might have asked for the night off. Back to work. 492 00:32:13,770 --> 00:32:18,050 The world is turning over a new leaf. It's Macy's One Good Turn event. 493 00:32:18,250 --> 00:32:22,830 Saturday and Sunday, you can go a little greener, too. Give $5 and you'll get an 494 00:32:22,830 --> 00:32:24,830 all -day 20 % off savings, Pat. 495 00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,420 Your donation goes to the National Park Foundation. 496 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:32,620 Buy a reusable tote for just $3 .95, and $1 will go to the foundation, too. 497 00:32:33,100 --> 00:32:38,720 Give a little green and save 20%. It's a good turn for everyone at Macy's 498 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:39,760 Saturday and Sunday. 499 00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:42,300 That's the magic of Macy's. 500 00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:46,260 The makers of Harold and Kumar have seen the error in their evil ways and are 501 00:32:46,260 --> 00:32:49,060 happy to present the new and improved Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo 502 00:32:49,060 --> 00:32:52,600 Bay. Hey, listen, you're not going to believe this, but the other night I 503 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,280 up at that Asian party and I, um... 504 00:32:54,540 --> 00:32:56,080 Shook hands with... Cindy Kim. 505 00:32:56,460 --> 00:33:00,020 Shut the... Front door. Are you serious? Yeah, man, she even gave me a... 506 00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:03,680 Crumpet. What is a... Crumpet. It's when a girl gives you... English pastry. 507 00:33:03,940 --> 00:33:06,680 While you're sitting on the... Patio. Taking a... Tea break. 508 00:33:07,180 --> 00:33:09,340 Herman Kumar, Escape from Guantanamo Bay. 509 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:10,560 Rated R. 510 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,000 Now playing only in theaters. 511 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:17,940 Cuba, try this new Comfort Soft waistband. It's really comfortable. 512 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:19,200 MJ. 513 00:33:21,980 --> 00:33:23,720 Michael, thanks for the underwear. 514 00:33:24,780 --> 00:33:26,900 I'm wearing your underwear. 515 00:33:30,900 --> 00:33:33,060 That you gave me to wear. 516 00:33:34,300 --> 00:33:36,240 The Comfort Soft Waistband. 517 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,460 Tagless and wrapped in cotton. Only from Hanes. 518 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:47,200 On the next Iron Ring, Team Luda hopefuls learn their fate. 519 00:33:48,460 --> 00:33:52,040 What do you think about it? Believe it or not, I feel kind of nervous. 520 00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:56,880 With that being said, I'm going to tell you who I picked first and foremost for 521 00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:57,519 the team. 522 00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:01,300 Both Floyd and Lil Jon are knocked out by their fighting. 39375

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