Original subtitles

You not only made yourself sick, but you lied to me.

I'm sorry, Dad.

I was wrong.

You know, right now, I couldn't care less about that election.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Jerry.

Can you give me the message?

Willis can't talk right now. He's indisposable.

Congratulations, Mr. Craig.

Yeah, congratulations, son. Wait a minute, what am I talking about?

You've got to resign.

Oh, no, Dad, please. I'll promise to quit anything else, but don't make me

resign. He didn't give up the school brain. He stinks as an actor.

What do you mean, I stink?

I mean, you stink.

Arguing isn't going to help.

Now, let's cool down and discuss this calmly.

Okay.

They not be writing songs on many boards.

He's a man of these.

Then along come two.

They got nothing but the genes.

And they got different strokes to take.

Different strokes to take. Different strokes to move the world. Yeah, it does

take different strokes to move the world.

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum.

Everybody's got a special kind.

Guys, what do you hear?

I auditioned today to sing with a new musical group at school, and I got the

job. I knew your voice was good for something besides yelling at me.

Isn't that exciting? He really has a good voice.

Well, like father, like son.

When I was your age, Willis, I did a little singing myself.

Oh, you mean professionally, Mr. Drummond? No, just in the church choir.

What was the name of the group?

The Episcopalians.

Get this for a catchy name.

The Aphrodisiacs.

That's a really cute name, Willis. Well, what's really going to sell this group

is a gorgeous singer.

You mean besides yourself?

No. I mean Charlene. I'm going to talk to the guys about letting her sing, too.

She's got a super voice.

Really? That's great.

Come on, Willis. Don't exaggerate.

I'm not. Come on, give them a sample. Sing with this cassette.

They don't want to hear me sing. Yes, we do.

Just sing and let my family be the judge.

Anyway, you've got to get used to singing in front of people.

At least we won't throw tomatoes.

Well, with that kind of encouragement, how can I say no? All right.

All of my life I've looked fine But I

like you so sweet and so fine

I feel so good.

your soul.

Right on.

Boy, music sure has changed.

Whatever happened to the sentimental oldies but goodies from my day? Like a

-footed...

Hey, sounds like you're going to have quite a group there, Willis. Yeah,

for we got one little problem, Dad.

I wonder if you can give me some advice.

Why not? I got tons of it left over from all the advice you didn't take before.

Well, after tomorrow, we got no place to rehearse.

See, the guy who's letting them use the recording studio is kicking them out

unless they can pay.

Well, where were they rehearsing before that?

Oh, in the garage behind Rossi's Fish Market.

That's smart.

Nobody will notice if you stink.

I'd like to help, Willis, but I can't think of a place.

Oh, but Dad, you're not thinking hard enough.

Willis, you're not suggesting... You don't think for a minute that I... Oh,

no, no, no way.

Oh, but Dad, we're in a pithouse. The 30th floor.

I mean, Dad, who would we disturb?

Everybody from the 29th floor down.

Dad, all the other guys' apartments are too small.

And if we can't rehearse, the group will break up.

In my career, I never get off the ground.

Yeah, Willis' rocket to start him will go... Dad, you're our last

chance.

Willis, what you just did to me was very unfair.

What did I do?

First of all, you made me feel guilty, and then you double -crossed me with

logic.

Okay, you can use the apartment after tomorrow, but keep the noise level down.

Great, thanks, Dad.

That's my dad.

We don't call it a big pushover for nothing.

Well, Dad, there's just one other little thing.

How much?

How did you know it was about money?

Because just one other little thing always is.

Well, how would you like to invest in our group? You know, we need things like

rock groups need costumes.

Well, I don't suppose it should cost too much to buy some torn T -shirts.

What's more important is we need money to cut a demo record.

How much will that cost?

Just a few hundred dollars.

Oh, Dad, for you, that's chicken feed.

I guess you think that's a poultry sum.

Dad, you ought to give him the money just for listening to that joke.

I'll tell you what, Willis.

I'll give it some thought.

Hey, Dad.

Why don't you come down and hear us at the studio tomorrow?

We still got one more day left.

Fair enough. Okay, I'll do that.

Great. The guys in the group will really appreciate that.

Yep, we sure will.

We?

Arnold, what do you have to do with the group?

How can you say that after Dad and I were nice enough to let you use our

apartment?

Well, there must be something you can let Arnold do.

Let him be your gopher.

Come on. Why not?

All right, Ellen, you can be our gopher. Oh, thanks, Willard. Oh, I'm going to

be a gopher. Thanks, Willard.

What's a gopher?

It means you go for sandwiches, you go for drinks, you go for anything we want.

John the Bullet Field.

Yeah, my nickname is the Bullet. I got the name living that street life. Being

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A one -on -one fight is enough. Iron Ring, Tuesday at 1030.

I refer to myself as just that.

It's hard to control them.

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What's your WD -40? Hey, what?

It's all your mind. Boo!

Back -to -back classic comic relief. What you talking about? Classic comic

relief. What you talking about? What you talking about weekdays? That's what.

Different stroke.

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Anything I can do for you, Dad?

Not at the moment, my man.

Well, remember, I'm your gopher. My furry little tail is at your service.

You just keep it out of the way and you're going to have a shoe in your

little tail.

Yeah, Daddy Big Bucks.

Well, I can't stay very long, Willis. I've got to get to a business meeting.

Okay, well, we'll get right to it, Dad.

Fellas, I want you to meet my dad.

Hi.

Willis tells me you guys are very fine musicians.

That's true.

Okay, let's make this one good, guys.

Willis, can I introduce you?

Okay, Arnold, but make it short.

Short is my middle name.

Driving. When you're dancing.

Watching you shake me. So maybe.

Make me.

That's right.

Really want to be.

My one and only. Dollar sweet baby.

Someone be my lady.

Well, I'll tell you, fellas.

I think you found yourself a pigeon. You're great.

Maybe I'll have better luck in show business this time.

Some years ago, I passed up a chance to invest in Oklahoma.

I put my money in a show called Montana.

Well, thanks again, Dad.

Happy to do it, son. Well, I gotta get to my meeting.

Drive carefully, Dad.

Don't run over anyone who buys records with her.

Willis, I thought your girlfriend was coming over. Where is she?

Well, I better call her and see what's happening. I'll call her from outside so

you brothers can rehearse.

You just don't want me to hear all that chissy -poo you do over the phone.

Willis!

Want to take a run at Monday Blues on Tuesday while we're waiting?

Nah, this is drag without a lead vocalist. Hey!

Kimberly knows that song.

Oh, you wouldn't want to hear me.

But if you insist.

I'll just take a look at the music.

Hey, Arnold, you got a talented family. I mean, your brother sings, your sister

plays guitar.

What do you do?

Had it been good, it would bite it.

You've got a great voice, Kimberly.

Gladys Knight, eat your pips out.

Thanks, guys.

Hey, how about using Kimberly to sing with the group, too?

Hey, that's a thought. Hey, check this out.

Kimberly sings, and she's white.

I noticed that.

Now, look, guys.

The four of us are black, and so is Willis. I noticed that, too.

What a great gimmick. We'd be the only group in the world with a black and

brother -sister team.

Syncopation and integration.

That company would be beating down our door.

Kimberly, how would you like to be an aphrodisiac?

Would I? Oh, this is fantastic.

Well, remember, it was my idea.

So when you're up there accepting a Grammy and faking the little people,

forget the littlest of them all.

be right back.

What do we do about Willis' girlfriend?

She's coming over to audition.

Afraid that's Willis' problem.

Kimberly's in and Charlene's out.

Who told her about it?

Her mother says Charlene's on her way. She should be here any second.

If you're lucky, her bus will get hijacked.

What's that supposed to mean? It means you're going to have to tell Charlene we

can't use her.

We've already got a girl singer.

Say what?

I was talking about your sister.

Kimberly?

She's terrific.

Wouldn't even know she could sing if it wasn't for Arnold.

Is that right?

You're sitting on the couch, you're watching TV, and your life is passing

by. You keep procrastinating over and over. Well, maybe I'll go to school next

year or maybe next semester. No, do it right now. They'll work with you after

work or you can go before work. You can do whatever you need to do to graduate.

Go talk to somebody right now. They out to help you. You spend all day on the

phone anyhow.

Why don't you make a phone call that's going to help you in your future? All

got to do is pick up the phone and make the call.

Why are you making it complicated?

It's easy.

Bad boy is sick. You like this, right? This is bigger than my apartment.

So what about insurance, man?

What are you, 19?

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Classic comic relief. What you talking about? Classic comic relief.

What you talking about? What you talking about weekdays? That's what. Different

strokes. Malcolm and Eddie. Weekdays at 9.

Knuckle up, party people. It's your dirty Nelly. I'm going to be holding

thing down all week. It's a hot in here Nelly Paco. I'm going to be doing this

thing all week, Nelly.

Every trip.

Every time.

California, here I come.

Buckle up.

So you and your friends get home safely.

I must scream into the world from the top of some place very high. See if I'll

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That is spectacular advice.

This is a man who almost learned to walk at a rehab center that almost got

built.

By people who almost gave money.

Almost gave.

How good is almost giving?

About as good as almost work.

I don't want to take anything away from Charlene. Good, we

accept your resignation.

Nobody's resigning. We want Kimberly, and that's that.

No way, man.

Well,

anyway, the group is really very good, Adelaide. I was surprised at how well

Willis sings.

I never even knew he could sing.

Oh, sure, he sings in the shower all the time.

Well, I wouldn't know anything about that. I never took a shower with him.

Hold it. What's the argument about?

Dad, Kimberly ruled my entire life.

Again?

I mean it, Dad. The guys want Kimberly to sing instead of Charlene, who thinks

she's got the job.

Well, how do you think Charlene's gonna take that news?

Oh, she'll feel real good right after she kills me.

And after she kills him, he'll kill me.

I'm gonna be a dead gopher.

Kimberly, how do you feel about this?

Well, Daddy, I don't want to cause any trouble between Willis and Charlene, but

I'd really like to sing with the group.

Well, then I think you have every right to go for it.

It isn't though you were doing this deliberately to hurt Charlene.

Of course not. And Willis wants to quit over this.

Man, Willis, you can't quit now.

You can always get another girlfriend, but where are you going to get another

group that'll let you sing with a voice like yours?

Willis, it's very noble of you to volunteer to quit.

But don't do something that you'll regret.

Oh, please, Willis, please don't quit. Well, I'll feel even worse.

Okay, I'm in.

Oh, great, Willis.

Willis, you did the right thing.

Maybe so, but how am I going to face Charlene?

Well, your first move was a good one. You left the recording studio before she

showed up.

I hope that's not Charlene. Answer it, Arnold. What if it is her?

Just smile like there's nothing wrong.

Okay.

Hey, Arnold.

The reason I'm smiling is because nothing's wrong.

Willis, what's going on? When I got to the recording studio, they gave me a

that the rehearsal was canceled.

What happened to the guy?

I was so nervous about auditioning for them.

Nervous?

Well, then why don't we postpone it for a while?

Like a couple of years.

Why should I postpone it?

Charlene, have you got a cold?

A cold?

No, why?

Because your voice sounds funny.

I mean, if you sing, you can strain it and wear out the lining of your throat.

And throats are very difficult to rewind.

Willis, my throat is fine. What kind of job are you giving me?

No, I'm not.

You know, To tell you the truth, I'm really worried about you singing with

group. I mean, remember what happened to Bette Midler in that movie, The Rose?

What about it? Well, she was young and pretty.

I think she got on that crazy show, Big Marigold, around. I mean, drag from one

rock concert to another.

Popping pills, belting booze. You know, she was strung out and hungover.

Hi, Charlene.

Oh, look, Charlene, I'm really sorry about this. I hope Willis explained to

that I would never do anything to hurt you intentionally.

Hurt me?

Willis, what does she mean?

Well, um, Charlene, it's just hard to find the right words.

Yeah, I got a feeling your sister got the singing job.

And you're a low -down, sneaky double -crosser.

She sure found the right words.

Charlie, let me explain.

Oh, no, you don't have to. I got it loud and clear.

Willis, how could you do this to me?

But I didn't. You did. I did. I'll quit. It's all my fault. No, I'm quitting.

Why don't you all quit and I'll sing with the group?

Hey, hold it. Hey, hey.

I thought you were going to settle this. Well, what do you think we're doing?

I am sick and tired of this constant arguing and I want it to stop right now.

that clear?

Dad, Charlene thinks that I'm the one that... Willis, I said I want an end to

this bickering.

Get it, Willis. Dad doesn't want to hear one more bick.

Now we're going to settle this once and for all. We're going to do it my way.

Or else I'll withdraw my support. That means no demo record, no group.

Now, I have an idea.

Whatever it is, we love it.

We bring you the aphrodisiacs and the great new singing group, the Three Nuts.

I mean, notes.

There's good and bad in everyone.

We learn to live.

We learn to give each other what we need to survive.

Together alive.

You kids are really going to make it big.

You really think so, Dad?

You think we'll hit it big? Yeah, but don't worry, Willis. If you get rich and

famous, you'll always be a nobody.

Nothing but the genes that they got.

Different strokes of fate.

Different strokes of fate.

Different strokes to do the world if it doesn't take.

Club jack -o' -lanterns. Yeah!

Yeah! Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!

Okay, now, I gotta warn you all that these are the most frightening, the most

horrifying jack -o' -lanterns ever fashioned by human hands.

Very funny, people. Very funny.

I don't know, Mal. Yours kind of gives me the heebie -jeebies.

Very funny and very funny.