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Then along come two They got nothing but their genes But they got different

strokes to take Different strokes to take Different strokes to move the world

Everybody's got a special kind of story Everybody finds a

way to shine It don't matter that you got not a lot So what? I'll have theirs

and you'll have yours and I'll have mine And together we

Oh, come on, fella. Sophia, you had no right to ask your hairdresser to come

over here to see me without my permission.

I told you, she isn't a hairdresser. She's a hairstylist.

What's the difference?

About $30.

I have been going to the same barber for 15 years, and I like him.

He's like a relative.

He talks a lot, and I don't listen to him.

Come on, Daddy, get with it. Have a hairstylist do your hair.

I don't feel like having my hair cut. I'm tired. I was out late last night.

No doubt, with another one of your young chickadees.

Will you stop exaggerating? Now, please, tell your hairstylist, thanks, but no

thanks. I'll stay with my regular barber.

Dad, no one goes to a regular barber anymore.

All the hip dudes have their hair styled.

And do you think I'd trust these precious locks to some clown with a red

white pole?

I went to one of those unisex places once and they talked me into a perm.

It's not a pretty sight to see a middle -aged man in curlers.

Oh, Daddy, I thought you looked cute in curls.

Yeah, like an over -the -heel Shirley Temple.

isn't one of those unisex people.

She's one of the best hairstylists in this town.

You know, Daddy, with the blow dryer, she can make your hair look twice as

thick, and that would make you look a lot younger.

Look, I told you that I'm not... Younger?

You think so?

Oh, I really do, Daddy.

Well, as long as she's on her way over here anyway, I really shouldn't

disappoint her.

Okay, I'll give it a shot. Great job. Great, Daddy.

I'll slip into something less comfortable.

Now, hurry, Phillip. I'm expecting her shortly.

Oh, it worked, it worked, it worked.

I'm so happy.

Hair really turns you on.

Come here. I've got a secret.

I don't really care who cuts his hair.

Running by me again?

Trust me, Arnold. What he needs is a good wife in the September of his years.

Someone he can sit on the veranda with and watch the red sails on the horizon

blow into the sunset.

Unless it's raining.

Well, I still say if Dad's not having a good time, he sure doesn't know it. And

I say Dolores is the perfect one for your father.

She's fun -loving, intelligent, she likes people.

And is she ever beautiful.

At the hairstylist convention, she was voted Miss Blow -Dryer.

Well, just be careful.

Dad would really resist if he knew it was being fixed up.

So would Dolores. That's why I'm doing it this way.

Sneaky. On the next episode of The Why.

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Thanks. Oh, that must be Dolores.

Coming!

Hiya!

Come on in. I was just saying, I bet that's Dolores.

Well, you're right.

Boy, look at the size of this place.

Where are the goal posts?

Good -looking mama.

I hope looks aren't everything. What counts is what's underneath.

Hey, that looks pretty good, too.

Dolores, this is my family I was telling you about.

My niece, Kimberly.

Hi. Likewise.

And this is Willard. Nice to meet you.

Likewise. And Arnold.

Hi, cutie.

Likewise.

I see that my hairstylist has arrived.

Dolores, this is my brother, Philip Drummond.

Hi, Mr. Drummond.

Please, just call me Phil.

Well, what do you think?

A tease, cornrows, or maybe an afro?

You're paying.

You can have a poodle cut if you like.

Honestly, Mr. Drummond, you don't need to do anything to your hair. It looks

fine the way it is.

I'd just be gilding a lily, so to speak.

That's okay.

Dad could use a little help with his lily.

Where would you like to work?

How about the kitchen? I need the sink.

Fine, I'll take this. Just come with me.

Have you ever seen two people who were so well matched?

He's attracted to her femininity, and she's attracted to his, uh, whatever he

has.

You hear that? They're laughing.

I didn't know Dad had such funny hair.

Delores, I really do appreciate your taking the trouble to come over here.

Oh, no problem, Phil. You said I can call you that.

Anyway, it's on my way to the bowling alley. I have to meet my team.

Oh?

What team is that?

Barney's Bagel Boutique.

That's very catchy.

Barney's our sponsor.

We always kid Barney about which is harder, the bowling ball or his bagels.

You know, I guess a guy like you thinks bowling is kind of silly.

Oh, not at all.

I like bowling. You do?

How's your game, if I may inquire?

Well, it may be a little off, since I've never bowled.

You have never bowled?

Boy, you sure missed a lot being rich.

I never looked at it that way before.

I bet you never even went roller skating or been to the demolition derby. That's

my favorite. Every time a fender gets knocked off, I get all misty.

I hope maybe I'll see one sometime.

You know, you're not what I expected in a millionaire.

You're a real person.

Well, thank you.

So, listen, if you ever want to learn how to bowl, it'll be my pleasure to

you a lesson.

If you're ever in the mood, just give me a buzz.

Buzz.

I thought you'd never call.

Get away from that door.

It's not polite to eavesdrop.

But as long as you did, did you hear anything?

Hey, that was fun.

What did she do to it? Nothing.

Well, whatever she didn't do, she did it great.

Like I said previously, Phil doesn't really need a haircut, so I'm taking him

bowling instead.

Bowling? Right.

And then after that, we're going to stop at Barney's Boutique for a bagel.

Where the pies go to nuts.

That's perfect. That's where everybody goes.

Say hello to Barney for me.

I love the Jewish soul food.

We'll do that. See you later, gang.

Philip. Yeah.

Oh, I'm so happy for you.

Me too.

Thanks, but I may not even like bowling.

Buckley called mud wrestling.

Man, Dad was sure charged up.

I can already hear those wedding bells.

In fact, I can even hear a baby crying.

I hope you don't hear the baby before you hear the bells.

Yes, I'll be sure and tell him as soon as he gets home. Okay, bye -bye.

Bye, guys.

Bye, guys. Can't talk now. Gotta get changed. No, wait, Daddy. They just

you about that big dinner you're going to Friday night.

Oh, the mayor's ball.

Right. The mayor wants you to sit at his table.

Well, that shows you what a little charm and a big contribution can do.

I gotta go.

Well, let's rush that.

Leave the man alone.

He's gotta go. He's heading for the bathroom.

See, Dolores will be here any minute.

Oh, you know, she really is a breath of fresh air.

She has been taking me to places I've never been before.

And I love it.

Have I got a surprise for her.

really happy with Dolores.

We told you it would work out.

They've been out together every night for a whole week.

I had a marriage that didn't last that long.

We'll get it.

Come in.

Hi. Hi.

Hi, everybody. Hi.

Wow, I love your outfit.

Thanks. I picked it up at a sale at Gimble's basement.

You can get real bargains there if you know karate.

We're skating again.

Yep, your brother's a real good skater.

Oh, yeah, Dad's a cool cat, all right. He's good at everything.

I know.

I bet you're excited about Friday night.

Friday night?

Yeah, the big ball. You and Dad get to sit at the mayor's table.

Now, Arnold, you shouldn't have gone and said that. That must have been a

surprise that he mentioned.

Oh.

Sorry, Dolores.

I have this habit of shooting from the lip.

When your dad tells me I lack surprise.

Wow. Me.

At the mayor's table.

I feel like Cinderella.

My dad is your prince. A little creaky, but still a prince.

Hi, Dolores.

Oh, hi, Phil.

I'm sorry. I hope I haven't kept you waiting.

No, I just got here.

Let's go burn rubber, baby.

going to have a great week.

Tonight, roller skating.

Wednesday night, hockey.

Thursday, bowling. And then comes my big surprise for you.

Surprise? Why, Phil, whatever could that be?

You and I are going to be sitting in the best seats in the house Saturday at the

Demolition Derby.

Demolition Derby?

Saturday? Right. I guess that really surprised you, didn't it? It sure did.

but didn't you leave something out?

Oh, yes.

I read the crashed Collins won't be driving. He broke his back again.

But we'll still have fun.

Philip, I think what Dolores means you left out is that on most calendars

between Thursday and Saturday there's a thing called Friday.

Oh, yeah. Didn't I mention that, Dolores?

Oh, I have to go to a business dinner Friday.

I won't be able to see you that night.

What you talking about, Dad?

I see.

Business dinner, huh?

Yeah. Well, let's go.

Forget it.

What do you mean?

I just lost my appetite for skating tonight. I'm going home.

But we have a date.

I'm good enough for beer and pizza, but not for champagne and caviar.

Dolores! Look, why don't you get someone else to lace up your skates for you? I

hope you enjoyed slumming with me, Mr. Drummond.

Dolores!

How did she find out about the marriage ball?

From the big mouth with the little body.

Phillip, why didn't you invite her?

I just didn't think she'd fit in.

Fit in?

Dad, how could you do that to her?

Gee, Daddy, I never thought I'd say this about my own father, but... Well,

you're a snob.

Snob? Me?

What did you do?

It's what he didn't do.

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Thank you, Dolores, and apology.

I don't have anything to apologize for. In fact, she should apologize to me for

walking out. Philip, she had every right to do it. Now that's the end of the

discussion.

I'm going to go upstairs and hang up my skates forever.

Dad, you're messing everything up after all that lying Aunt Sophia did to get

you two together.

What is that supposed to mean?

Yes, Philip, I invited Dolores over here just to meet you. I don't give a hoot

about your old hair.

For all I care, you can go bald right now.

I'll go bald when I'm good and ready.

Are you telling me that this whole thing was a fix -up?

Dad, Aunt Sophia was only trying to help. She said that in the September of

horizon, you need someone to watch the Red Sails with before they blow out.

Well, if there's one thing that gets my goat, it's matchmaking.

Sophie, will you please stop interfering in my life?

Oh, it's such a shame.

I know they'd be so happy together if they just didn't hate each other so

Where's my 10 .30 appointment?

Um, Mr. Jackson.

Jackson? Doesn't ring a bell. Maybe it's a new customer.

Mr. Jackson, we're ready for you.

and reporting for styling.

Oh, no.

What are you doing here?

I like your shampoo and a haircut, and you can even check me out for a shave.

While we're at it, we can talk about my dad.

I'd like to forget about your dad, and you can forget about your haircut.

Oh, Dad, I've got a legitimate appointment.

I've got the money to pay for it. How would you like the NAACP to nail you for

discrimination?

All right, all right.

I'd like an egg shampoo.

Make that over easy, please.

Sorry, our chicken's on strike.

All right, then give me a once -over lightly, careful on the sideburns, and

fluff me up an inch taller.

You've got it.

Look, he's really sorry for what happened, and he wants to apologize to

Apologize? Did he send you down here to test the water?

Dad's really broken up over this. Did you ever see a millionaire cry?

It's pitiful.

Come on, Arno.

I mean it. His eyes are so red and swollen.

He looks worse than he does when he gets up in the morning.

Arno, are you jiving me?

Does this look like the face of a jiver?

I can't resist those cheeks.

Can Dad come down and apologize to you, please?

You're real special to him.

Please. Please.

Put the poor guy out of his misery.

All right.

Thanks. Can I use your phone? I want to call him at the office and tell him.

Sure. Help yourself, honey.

Will you mind giving me a little privacy?

Dad would be embarrassed if you heard him blubbering with happiness.

You must really be taking this hard.

I'm so flattered. I never had a man blubber over me. Unless I belted him

just called. She wants you to go right over to her beauty shop.

She wants to apologize for what happened.

She's all broken up about it.

She was crying so hard over the phone, I could barely understand it.

You should have heard her.

Oh, hi.

Hi, Dolores.

Listen,

if you like, I can come back when you're not busy.

Oh, no, that's all right. It only takes a second to apologize.

Right.

Well, would you like some privacy?

Oh, no. Lillian's an old customer.

I mean, she's like family.

How do you do?

My pleasure.

Well, I just want you to know that I think it takes a lot of character for a

person to admit that they've been wrong.

I couldn't agree with you more.

And it's so much better. It's such a relief when you get it off your chest.

Right.

Well, I'm ready anytime you are.

I'm ready.

I'm ready.

Why do I get the feeling that something isn't kosher here?

I have the same feeling.

Me too.

Bill, are you here for what I think you're here for?

Cam, if you think I'm here for what I think I'm here for... I know what I'm

for.

Sorry, my man.

Look, Arnold told me that you wanted to apologize to me.

What? That little double -crosser.

Is this the face of a driver?

What's that supposed to mean?

Arnold came down here and said you wanted to apologize to me.

What?

I'll take care of him when I get home.

Don't you dare lay a finger on that darling little life.

Who's Arnold?

My son.

And he's a real down -to -earth kid, considering he's got such a snob for a

father. Dolores.

If you level with me and said that you didn't think I fit in with the mayor and

your people, I'd have understood.

But you were just kicking me out. You were just some cheap kicks.

times that we had together.

She's just marvelous.

I've had the most fun that I had in years.

Look, I didn't invite you to the mayor's ball only because I thought that you'd

be uncomfortable.

I guess maybe I was just trying to save you the embarrassment of not, well, I

won't say not fitting in. Well, what would you say, Phil?

I'd say that I behaved like, like a snob.

And I apologize with all my heart.

Please forgive me.

I'd be very unhappy to lose you.

Well, give him a break.

Thanks. That's okay, Phil.

Well, what do you say, Dolores?

I'm waiting.

Yeah, we're waiting.

Phil, you're a doll. I'd be very unhappy to lose you, too.

Friends?

I can do better than that.

Man, if it doesn't work out with Dolores, Dad's really going to be mad at

Hello?

Oh, hi, Dad.

Uh -oh.

Sure, hang on a minute.

He wants to talk to you, Arnold.

Did he sound angry or calm?

Real calm.

Then I'm in real trouble.

Hello, Dad.

Your loving son speaking.

Yeah, I did.

You did?

You're just one drum.

What might be right for you may not be right for some. One man in four meets a

man of ease.

Then along come two. They got nothing but the genes.

But they got different strokes of pain. Different strokes of pain.