Original subtitles

Thank you. Thank you.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

It don't matter that you got not a lot. So what? You'll have yours and I'll have

mine. And together we'll be fine.

Different strokes to move the world. You can take different strokes to move the

world.

Arnold, this one's for Willis. I thought it was Dad bringing him home from the

hospital. They're not home yet?

Maybe they wouldn't release Willis because he's too sick.

Oh, Arnold, they only held Willis there overnight for observation.

He's fine.

That's why Daddy went to pick him up.

But maybe those boys beat him up so bad he had a relapse.

He could be on brain surgery right now. With a machine plugged in him that

goes...

It's easy for you to say. You've got two brothers. I've only got one.

Here we are.

Willis! Hi, Willis.

What took you so long?

We had to stop at the drugstore for tranquilizers.

You that shook up, Willis?

Not him. Me.

I'm sorry, Dad.

But if it hadn't have been two of them, they wouldn't have laid a glove on me.

Oh, sure.

In the meantime, you've got a badly sprained hand, bruised ribs, five

in your head.

Well, at least the stitches will hold his brain in.

Well, it wasn't that one -sided.

I got a couple of good shots in myself.

Oh, terrific.

At today's hospital prices, that cost me about $600 a shot.

That's a real buy.

Listen, I'm only going to say it one more time. Don't you ever do a dumb

like that again.

Yeah, Willis, you really could have gotten hurt.

I'll get it.

Mr. Drummond? Yes?

Detective Simpson, may I come in?

Oh, yes, please, come in.

I just missed you at the hospital.

They called in and gave us a complete report about that fight.

You mean everybody knows I hid under the bench?

Too bad Willis wasn't as smart as you.

Oh, please, sit down, Detective Simpson.

Now, this is my daughter, Kimberly.

These are my sons, Arnold and Willis. Hi. Pleased to meet you.

You know, I have a mixed family myself.

I'm from Queens, my wife's from Brooklyn.

I hope you're going to tell us that those two punks are in jail.

Well, not yet.

But they could be with a little cooperation from you people.

Can you describe them?

Sure. They both were a little bigger than me, and one of them has my knuckle

prints on his jaw.

And they're named Eddie and Roberto, and they both smell of kosher pickles.

Why are creeps like that in jail?

Well, for one thing, nobody wants to get involved.

Well, my sons will testify.

So will my friend Dudley. He was under the bench with me.

That might give us an assault charge against them.

But don't forget, your son went down there looking for trouble.

And he found it.

The important thing is to get them for ripping off little kids like Arnold.

Extortion's what we want to nab them for.

Well, there must have been witnesses.

I mean, it happened at lunch hour.

Half the school must have seen it, didn't they, Arnold?

Yeah, but at assembly today when the principal asked if anybody saw the

only one kid raised his hand. And it turned out he wanted to go to the

Same old story.

There must be something you could do about it, Detective Simpson.

Well, there are only a couple of things, Willis.

The best way is to catch him in the act.

But they seem to be able to smell a set -up a mile away.

The other way is to get some concrete evidence on them while they're ripping

a little kid. Let them indict themselves.

Well, how?

Oh, you mean like planting a microphone on a potential victim?

If you're talking about me, I don't like the word victim.

You mean you'd stick a microphone on Arnold? There is no way I would let

be used as a decoy.

Yeah, I agree with you, Daddy.

Well, I'm sorry we can't help you, Detective Simpson, but... I know.

I can make the speech for you.

You want to do the right thing, but you don't want to endanger your kid.

What's wrong with that?

Not one thing, I understand. I'm a family man myself.

Maybe we'll get lucky one of these days and get these thugs anyway.

Before they hurt somebody real bad.

Well, I've got to get going. So long, kids.

Bye -bye.

If you need me, here's my number. Oh, thanks very much.

I wish you could have helped him. We can.

You won't let us.

I've been thinking, you've always taught us to be good citizens and try to be

helpful. But not at the risk of harm to my family.

Your outlook is a lot different when you're a parent, Arnold.

Arnold, you're messing around with those two guys. You may not live to be a

parent.

Please let them worry me, Dad.

I bet you there'd be cops all over the place.

I bet you there'd be two in a black and white with 38 mags. and two on the roof

and sawed -off shotguns, and a whole SWAT team in bulletproof vests ready to

spring out of the sewer.

Well, this isn't Hill Street Blues.

Willis is lucky. He could have been permanently injured.

I hear you talking.

Cancel previous request.

Willis, the doctor wants you to rest. Now you go on up to your room.

Oh, but Dad, how can I rest with those two guys out there still running loose?

Just relax and think of something pleasant.

Think of your girlfriend, Charlene. No, don't do that. That'll just keep you

awake.

Come on, Willis. I'll help you. I'll read to you, I'll turn the TV on for

and I'll take you to sleep.

Here. You'll walk better if you lean on me.

I'm okay, Arnold.

But you lost some blood.

You're liable to be more light -headed than you usually are.

Here you go, Willis.

Thanks, Kimberly.

Come on, Willis. Watch Super Tuesday on BET.

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I'm with you.

What are you, banking?

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Stop it. We have to stick together.

What are you two doing?

Was that the same nothing that broke my last couch?

Speed Racer with BG.

Hi, Dudley.

Come on in. How you doing? Good to see you. Good to see you. I really

your coming, Ted.

Not at all. I was going to call you.

No, I'm really concerned about this situation.

Yeah, so am I.

Would you like a drink? Thanks.

How about a very dry martini?

You got it.

Hey, Dudley, care for something to drink?

I'll have a very dry Dr. Pepper.

You want that with an olive?

Why not? Am I driving?

Okay.

Two dry Dr. Peppers make mine a double.

Oh, sure.

You know, I've given us a lot of thought, Phil.

I'm not sure it's a good idea to let Dudley go to school tomorrow.

You're thinking right, Dad.

You got a good point, Ted.

It's worrisome. I felt the same way you do at first. Then I gave it some more

thought, and I've decided I'm going to let Arnold go to school tomorrow.

What are you talking about, Dad?

Well, aren't you worried about those two punks showing up again?

You bet I'm worried.

That makes it unanimous.

Well, if you're worried, Bill, why expose Arnold to any danger?

What if those two bullies do show up again, Dad?

That's a good question.

I hope you got a good answer.

As a matter of fact, I do.

He always has an answer.

I have no intention of exposing you to any danger, Arnold.

I'm going to take Arnold to school myself.

He can stay inside all day.

Then I'll go and pick him up after school and take him home.

I'm not going to let two punks stand in the way of my son's education.

Well, I have to agree with you there.

Now don't weaken, Dad.

Look, I prefer that you go to school, son.

But his mother and I both work, and there's no way we can pick him up.

No problem.

I can take them both to school and pick them both up.

I told you he always has an answer.

Morning, Willis. How do you feel?

I feel like the Thamersicle 49ers used me for a tackling dummy.

Is there anything I can do?

Yeah. Find me a new set of ribs.

Well, At least you get to stay out of school.

That's worth a few ribs.

How did you sleep?

Oh, pretty good.

I had to sleep on my left side all night.

Yeah, I can tell.

Your apple's flat on that side.

You want me to get the dryer and blow it up for you?

No.

After a while, it pops out by itself.

Room service.

Hey, did you bring some for Willis?

I thought you might like some juice.

I'll bring it. up some breakfast, too, if you'd like.

No, thank you, Kimberly.

I can make it down to eat.

Good. I'm making pancakes.

Let her bring them up, Woolis. After you eat them, you'll wind up in bed anyway.

Arnold, how would you like a stack of pancakes up your nose?

No, thanks. I'm trying to cut down.

Good morning, kids. Good morning, Daddy.

Oh, Daddy, breakfast will be ready in just a few minutes.

Thanks, Kimberly.

Well, how did you sleep, son?

Not bad.

Dad, can I go to school today?

I'm feeling pretty good.

No, you're not. If you want to go to school and you can stay home, you must

delirious.

Willis, you heard the doctor.

He said you should stay at home for a couple of days.

I'm going to tell you, Dad, I'm fine.

Willis, don't argue with Dad. We're staying home.

That's right, and... we?

Well, you're going to work. Kimberly's going to school.

Adelaide has the day off.

Somebody's got to make the sacrifice.

Thanks, Ronald, but I can take care of myself.

There he goes. He's delirious again.

Arnold, I appreciate the fact that you're willing to give up the thrill of

school for the drudgery of staying home.

But as I told you, you're going to go to school.

Now, I don't have any meeting scheduled for today, so I can work at home and

take care of Willis myself.

Dad, as long as you let Ronald go to school, Why don't you have the cops put

mic on him?

Willis, let's not go over that again, okay?

I'll see you downstairs.

Hand me my robe, Arnold.

Okay.

Oh.

Man, Willis.

I'm really sorry you got beat up. And you did it for me.

That's okay, little brother.

And I'd do it again.

See, Dad doesn't understand about guys like this.

See, we're from the streets and he's from Park Avenue.

They just keep ripping off kids and getting away with it until somebody

their neck out and nails them.

Hope you enjoy your breakfast, Abraham.

Sure can enjoy mine.

You know something?

Willis was right.

Now I really wish Dad would let them put a microphone on me.

Hey, wait a minute.

Dad only said the police couldn't wire me.

He didn't say I couldn't bug myself.

Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll bug myself.

I know I've got the guts to do it, although I'm not in any hurry to put

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Where's that pocket?

Okay.

That ought to do it, Abraham.

If Eddie and Roberto come to school today, I'll get them to threaten me.

Oh, I better make sure it works.

Hey, Willis!

Yeah?

Let's go have some breakfast, Willis. I'll be right with you.

What'd you say?

I said I'll be right with you.

Could you do that one more time?

Arnold, are your ears paining a lot?

I just want to make sure I heard you right.

Hey, Willis!

Yeah?

Let's go have some breakfast, Willis.

I'll be right with you, Arnold.

It's perfect, Abraham!

Just perfect!

Why am I so happy?

I'll be recording my own obituary.

What are you trying to do, scare me to death?

I almost lost my lunch and I haven't eaten yet.

What are you doing out here?

We're supposed to stay inside and eat in the cafeteria.

I know, I know, but you go ahead. I've got to be out here.

What if those two guys come by?

They'll dribble you over to the basketball court and slam dunk you.

I know, I know.

But a man's got to do what a man's got to do.

I'll put it on your tombstone.

Whose move is it?

The older white person.

To tell you the truth, Willis, this whole thing with the bullies got me a

upset. I'm really not concentrating.

As a matter of fact, I'm having second thoughts.

About what, Daddy?

Well, I'm thinking about what Arnold said to me yesterday.

He implied I was a hypocrite.

You know, in a way, he's right.

I've tried to teach all of you to do the right thing.

So when you believe in something, you stick up for it. You don't back down

pressure.

Now I won't let you do it.

Daddy, you're only protecting your family.

Well, maybe I'm overprotecting you.

Detective Simpson promised there'd be plenty of police there to protect Arnold

if they want to wire him.

Arnold wants to do it.

That really should have been enough for me.

Then are you going to let him do it?

Yes.

Yes, I think I will. Of course, I'll be there along with the police.

All right.

And I'm sure that this is the right thing to do.

Okay.

Now, whose move is it?

It's still yours, Dad.

Okay.

Checkmate.

Checkmate?

That's a chess term. It means you've just been zapped.

Daddy sure stuck it to you, Willis.

Dad would have never beat me if I didn't have 12 stitches in my head.

Well, if you've only got five stitches.

Uh -oh, I'm going to have seven more after I cut my throat.

Detective Simpson, please. Philip Drummond calling.

Well, if you do get in touch with him, would you tell him I'd like to see him

soon as possible?

It's very important.

Thank you.

I'll tell Arnold about it when I pick him up from school.

In fact...

He should be in the cafeteria having lunch right about now.

Well, well, look who's here.

How you doing, little shrimp?

How you doing, guys? I'm doing okay.

Isn't it Roberto and Eddie?

Who's Roberto?

Sorry about that.

I guess your friend isn't here, huh?

Gonna have to pay us the whole four bucks yourself, eh?

What four bucks?

Do we have to go through that again?

The four bucks you're gonna pay us every day for eating your lunch?

Or you'll be wearing your teeth on the outside of your lips.

And, uh, since you don't have any lunch today, uh, why don't you make that six

bucks?

say I gotta pay you four bucks for eating my lunch, Roberto?

And did you say make that six bucks, Eddie?

Well, if you think I'm gonna let you rip me off, you're crazy.

I'll tell my brother.

Oh, really?

How many brothers you got?

Just one.

Willis, you know him?

Yeah. He's the one who kept hitting my fist with his face.

Roberto, are you saying you beat up my brother, Willis?

Maybe you didn't notice.

You were too busy hiding under the bench.

Eddie, what were you doing while Roberto was beating up my brother Willis?

I was helping Roberto by kicking your brother Willis in the ribs.

What are friends for?

Well, here's a short bet. I can't give you six dollars because I haven't got

that much.

So here's two dollars of your extortion money.

Anything else you'd like to say?

Hey, how come you asking so many questions?

No reason. I'll see you tomorrow.

Hey, hold it.

What's that lump?

Oh, that lump? Oh, it's a bee sting.

I've been meaning to see a doctor about it.

A bee, huh?

How'd my radio get in there?

You little kiddo.

Man,

that was close.

Arnold, what are you doing here? Why aren't you in school?

Dad, I did it.

I did it.

I ran all the way home, but I did it.

Listen to this.

from school so that we could hear you ask Willis to have breakfast?

No. I want you to hear those two guys eating Roberto threatened me. I got them

all on tape.

What? Where'd you see him, Arnold?

At school, at lunch.

You didn't need to do that, Arnold. What you don't know is that I've already

decided to let them wire you.

Will you buy me again?

I'll get it.

Arnold, you shouldn't have done that. You could.

You wanted to see me, Mr. Drummond? Oh, yes. Please come in.

I was going to tell you that I had decided to let you wire Arnold.

But apparently he's beaten us to it.

He says he has got all the evidence that you need on a tape recorder of his.

Oh, really? Where is it?

Right here.

I hope it recorded okay. The only time I want to see those guys again is on

visitor's day.

Well, that's not very much evidence so far, Arnold.

It's coming up. Hang on to your badge.

I guess if your friend isn't here, you're going to have to pay them four

What? Four bucks?

Do we have to go through that again?

The four bucks you're going to pay us every day for eating your lunch?

Will you be wearing your teeth on the outside of your lips?

Arnold, that's exactly what we needed. I mean, who knows how many other kids are

going through the same thing at their school.

You know, you deserve a lot of credit for doing something about it.

You're a hero.

I'm going to see you're made an honorary detective.

Oh, right.

But as long as it's honorary, how about making it chief of police?

Just one drum.

What might be right for you may not be right for some. For many boys, it's a

better beat than a long come to.

They got nothing but the genes, but they got different strokes to take.

Different strokes to take.

Man, I can't believe Nelson Carter's getting married.

Yeah, that's hard to believe, all right.

He was my role model.

You know, sometimes I'll tell women, let me see it, I'm a doctor.

That was Nels. I got that from him.

Man, he was the best.

Who ever thought old Nelson would be the first one to walk the plank?

You know, our man may be making the biggest mistake of his life, so the

can do is make sure there are no mistakes at his bachelor party.

We got a lot of work to do. Hey, relax.

I got Tim handling the three most important bachelor party elements.

A stripper, a backup stripper, and in the event neither ladies can carry out

duties of a stripper, a backup stripper to the backup.

Isn't it quite funny, Bob?

They're just going to leave you alone while you're sitting inside your home.

Here's your vat of whipped cream and barrel of cherries. Now, since McGee's

not known for dessert, I'm assuming that these confections have something to do

with Mr. McGee's sordid private life.

Come on, my private life is not sordid anymore.

Besides, the whipped cream and cherries are not for me. They're for my man

Nelson's bachelor party.

Silly me. I thought this was food, not a costume.

See, to spray cheese and balloons on a costume.

You know, I can't believe that I am listening to this. I mean, hiring a

is offensive enough, but cheese in a can?

You're disgusting.

Hiya!

You're the lad.

Tell us why you're dressed like Miss Jane Pittman.

I'm working undercover. There's been a rash of senior citizen muggins at the

mall. So how come you're here and not there?

Well, I get to ride the bus free, so I figure I'll fix myself a tuna sandwich

and some prune juice at home.

Doc's been in this house for too long.

Oh, Eddie, I just got a long -distance call from my friend Antoinette. She says

you invited her to fly in for Nelson Carter's wedding.

Excellent.

Wait a minute, Ed. She's not coming before the bachelor party, is she? We

want women around.

At least women whose last names we know.

Ain't no biggie, man. You know, Antoinette and I are getting together

bachelor party.

Eddie, she said yes.

You do know what yes means to Antoinette, right?

It means, what the hell? I've got nothing else to do that weekend. It

amusing to toy with Eddie for a couple of days and then laugh about it when I

get home.

You're wrong, woman. You're wrong.

Me and Antoinette are close.

We talk about deep things.

Art. Poetry. Jerry Springer.

See, she's much more sophisticated than your average Kansas City waitress.

Excuse me.

I happen to have a master's in journalism.

Journalism? Well, write this down.

I want a BLT.

A white...