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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,750 --> 00:00:04,750 Guess who, woman? 2 00:00:05,390 --> 00:00:06,390 Oh, Ben. 3 00:00:08,370 --> 00:00:09,370 Don't look at me. 4 00:00:10,230 --> 00:00:14,890 Someone could see us. Right, which reminds me. You know the community 5 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:15,890 dance that's coming up? 6 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:20,610 Ben, you know how I feel about this. I know, I know. 7 00:00:20,850 --> 00:00:23,990 You don't want us to be seen together, so I'm not going to ask you to go. 8 00:00:24,830 --> 00:00:29,490 You can beg, you can get down on your knees, you can plead, and there is no 9 00:00:29,490 --> 00:00:32,549 on God's green earth I'm even going to consider taking you to that dance. 10 00:00:33,020 --> 00:00:34,020 Thank you, Ben. 11 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:36,420 So much for reverse psychology. 12 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:41,980 What we have is very special. 13 00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:43,920 Very private. 14 00:00:44,540 --> 00:00:48,940 The reason it's so special is because we're the only ones who know about it. 15 00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:52,600 We're like Romeo and Juliet. 16 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,380 Louise, they wound up killing themselves. 17 00:02:08,810 --> 00:02:10,850 place around the corner. Oh, fantastic. 18 00:02:11,670 --> 00:02:15,170 I used to go there two, three times a week. It's not as good as it used to be. 19 00:02:15,390 --> 00:02:17,090 What are you talking about? It's just open. 20 00:02:17,350 --> 00:02:18,830 It used to be a massage ball. 21 00:02:22,990 --> 00:02:24,130 People, please. 22 00:02:25,330 --> 00:02:30,290 We're supposed to be here to bare our souls, to open our hearts. And what are 23 00:02:30,290 --> 00:02:31,290 talking about? 24 00:02:31,670 --> 00:02:33,990 Food, restaurant, mindless drivel. 25 00:02:34,690 --> 00:02:37,490 That woman? I've had enough to hear with that woman. 26 00:02:41,450 --> 00:02:42,590 The waitress in the deli. 27 00:02:43,810 --> 00:02:46,030 Again, she put mayo on my BLT. 28 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:50,970 Oh, the hell with it. Why don't we just turn this place into a diner? 29 00:02:51,310 --> 00:02:52,310 What's with her? 30 00:02:52,370 --> 00:02:54,650 I think she's had it for a might old moment. 31 00:03:14,030 --> 00:03:19,090 in talking about real, honest -to -God problems, don't even bother to show up. 32 00:03:19,270 --> 00:03:23,910 Because once you're here, I'm going to lock that door and not let anyone out 33 00:03:23,910 --> 00:03:29,670 until each and every one of you has shared something personal. And I don't 34 00:03:29,670 --> 00:03:31,350 how intimate it is. 35 00:03:31,810 --> 00:03:33,870 In that case, can I bring Sly... 36 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,060 I've got some beauts. 37 00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:51,140 Ben, come in. Hi, John. Listen, I really appreciate you coming over like this. 38 00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:53,520 Hey, what are friends with power tools for? 39 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:55,698 Well, here they are. 40 00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,160 I got them at the flea market this morning. 41 00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:59,360 Antique bentwood cane. 42 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:00,759 Nice, John. 43 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:02,560 Yeah. Oh, I see a problem. 44 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,380 Yeah. Got yourself a wobbler here. 45 00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,300 Yeah. You think you can fix it? 46 00:04:06,860 --> 00:04:08,940 Hey, I'll have you sitting pretty in no time. 47 00:04:09,580 --> 00:04:10,580 Thanks. 48 00:04:13,740 --> 00:04:14,740 I've been treating you. 49 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,100 Oh, everything's fine. 50 00:04:16,959 --> 00:04:17,859 That's great. 51 00:04:17,860 --> 00:04:18,860 Can I get you a beer? 52 00:04:19,380 --> 00:04:22,760 What are you made of, stone? Can't you see a man in pain here? 53 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:25,360 Ah, pain. Yeah, right. 54 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:27,680 How could I have missed? 55 00:04:29,180 --> 00:04:35,160 Well, I'm seeing this fantastic, slightly older woman who I'm crazy 56 00:04:35,380 --> 00:04:37,700 I'm in a relationship to the next step, and she doesn't. 57 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:39,200 Oh, I get it. 58 00:04:39,950 --> 00:04:43,510 Well, what you want is perfectly natural. I mean, you're a man. She's a 59 00:04:43,590 --> 00:04:44,870 You want to sleep with her. 60 00:04:45,470 --> 00:04:47,270 No, I've slept with her. I want to take her out. 61 00:04:50,530 --> 00:04:51,530 Ah, well. 62 00:04:52,170 --> 00:04:53,710 I'm sure you know each other well enough. 63 00:04:55,190 --> 00:04:56,730 Yeah, but it's just so frustrating. 64 00:04:57,770 --> 00:04:59,070 I mean, you wouldn't believe it. 65 00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:00,690 I mean, I met her. 66 00:05:01,030 --> 00:05:02,450 I went over to her apartment. 67 00:05:02,850 --> 00:05:04,310 The next thing I know, we're... 68 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:19,940 Your blackened neck is getting quite a workout there. 69 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:22,800 What is the problem? 70 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,720 The problem is she doesn't want anybody to find out about us. So if I want to 71 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,520 take her to, well, say, a dance, she won't go. 72 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:31,820 Are you sure you know what you're doing? 73 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,680 No, that's why I want your advice. No, I meant the chair. 74 00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:37,240 It's this stuff I know. It's women. 75 00:05:37,580 --> 00:05:40,620 I don't have a clue. I'm telling you, she's turning my whole world upside 76 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,020 Obviously, this woman is no good for you, Ben. 77 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,180 You're not exactly doing wonders for my furniture either. 78 00:05:50,420 --> 00:05:53,420 Maybe you should think about dating someone your own age, you know, someone 79 00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:56,060 have more in common with. I don't want to date anybody else. 80 00:05:57,340 --> 00:05:58,340 I'm sorry, John. 81 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:02,280 I shouldn't have bothered you with this. I'll just, uh, I'll handle it my own 82 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:03,280 way. 83 00:06:03,340 --> 00:06:04,340 There you go. 84 00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:06,100 Perfect. 85 00:06:09,340 --> 00:06:11,480 Okay, so it still wobbles and it's a little short. 86 00:06:12,460 --> 00:06:13,880 Disappointment's part of life. Get used to it. 87 00:06:36,170 --> 00:06:39,650 great relationship if you can't tell people how wonderful it makes you feel. 88 00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:40,690 mean, geez, Louise. 89 00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:47,530 Our entire relationship is built upon... For sale by John Lacey. 90 00:06:48,150 --> 00:06:50,410 Father and son bent wood chairs. 91 00:06:50,870 --> 00:06:51,990 Boy, that's great. 92 00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:55,570 Listen, Ben, I've got to go. 93 00:06:56,270 --> 00:07:00,530 Don't forget to lock the door as soon as John and Annie get here. And you're not 94 00:07:00,530 --> 00:07:03,970 to open it until the meeting is over at nine o 'clock. Sure, sure, whatever you 95 00:07:03,970 --> 00:07:04,970 say, but... 96 00:07:14,190 --> 00:07:15,190 Now I've got to clean this up. 97 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:20,790 Is everyone looking forward to our special night? 98 00:07:21,030 --> 00:07:24,430 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But can we get on with this? I happen to have a very classy 99 00:07:24,430 --> 00:07:26,430 lady waiting for me outside on the corner. 100 00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:57,569 the honeymoon. 101 00:07:57,570 --> 00:07:59,390 Do a lot of fantasizing about me? 102 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:03,650 Hey, Ben. 103 00:08:03,870 --> 00:08:04,870 Oh, hi, Annie. 104 00:08:06,030 --> 00:08:07,170 They're waiting for you in there. 105 00:08:08,950 --> 00:08:10,210 Oh. Hey, 106 00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:12,050 Annie. 107 00:08:12,290 --> 00:08:13,570 I need a woman's opinion. 108 00:08:13,930 --> 00:08:17,470 Is there any reason you know of why a woman wouldn't want to be seen with me 109 00:08:17,470 --> 00:08:19,230 some simple little community -centered dance? 110 00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,830 Oh, I know what you're up to. 111 00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:23,110 This is a trick. 112 00:08:23,350 --> 00:08:25,090 You want me to go to the dance, right? 113 00:08:25,650 --> 00:08:26,650 Excuse me? 114 00:08:28,730 --> 00:08:29,730 on me. 115 00:08:29,890 --> 00:08:31,170 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 116 00:08:31,390 --> 00:08:33,130 No, I tried that already. It didn't work. 117 00:08:33,330 --> 00:08:34,929 No, I really want to go with somebody else. 118 00:08:35,250 --> 00:08:36,570 You are good. 119 00:08:39,630 --> 00:08:41,070 You got yourself a date. 120 00:08:41,650 --> 00:08:42,850 Um, okay. 121 00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:58,960 for her. 122 00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:00,920 Don't worry. I'm on it. 123 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:02,660 Thank you, Mrs. 124 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:06,280 Filbert, for sharing your experiences with us. 125 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:09,660 Not to mention what you shared with the Grateful Dead. 126 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,920 At least now you know why they were grateful. 127 00:09:44,430 --> 00:09:45,610 something I've never told anyone. 128 00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:47,710 Well, 129 00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:53,650 oh, I can't, I can't. You can, dear, you can. 130 00:09:54,110 --> 00:09:56,330 My entire life. 131 00:09:56,610 --> 00:10:02,250 When I was 16 years old, I won a beauty contest at the Chesapeake County Fair, 132 00:10:02,530 --> 00:10:07,050 but, and here's the really awful part, I shouldn't have. 133 00:10:07,550 --> 00:10:08,610 I cheated. 134 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,690 I told you they weren't real. 135 00:10:23,470 --> 00:10:27,590 competition when I was supposed to be singing, I was actually lip -syncing to 136 00:10:27,590 --> 00:10:28,590 record. 137 00:10:28,830 --> 00:10:32,050 It's been gnawing at me ever since, because if anyone should have been 138 00:10:32,050 --> 00:10:34,810 Miss Chesapeake County, it should have been Aretha Franklin. 139 00:10:37,790 --> 00:10:39,750 Now, don't you feel better? 140 00:10:40,670 --> 00:10:42,270 Yes, I do, Louise. 141 00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:43,810 Thank you. 142 00:10:44,030 --> 00:10:46,810 Why don't you go next, Red? Why don't you tell everybody about the time you 143 00:10:46,810 --> 00:10:49,810 lured me into the storeroom you couldn't keep your hands off of me? 144 00:10:51,370 --> 00:10:53,250 I believe it was the other way around. 145 00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:56,570 Whatever, just talk about it. I would like to relive it. 146 00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:04,390 That's quite enough out of you. Kate doesn't have to play this game. She's 147 00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:06,290 officially part of the group anymore. 148 00:11:06,570 --> 00:11:08,290 She's a happily married graduate. 149 00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:10,570 Blissfully happy. 150 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:21,280 Happy as a woman can be, whose husband spends 12 hours a day with another 151 00:11:22,540 --> 00:11:27,900 What? Oh, the precinct assigned Mitch a new partner, and she is absolutely 152 00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:32,880 gorgeous. And right now, they're on a stakeout together in a motel room. 153 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:36,920 During the last two weeks, she spent more time with Mitch than I got to spend 154 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:37,920 with him on our honeymoon. 155 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:42,740 Yeah, but what you had was intimate, meaningful, quality time. 156 00:11:43,020 --> 00:11:45,220 What they're having is nothing but cheap thrills. 157 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:05,940 I'm sure they won't. Oh, yeah? Well, look at you and me. 158 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:23,480 whose turn is it now? 159 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,240 I believe it's yours, Joe. 160 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,740 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 161 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,660 You two slut together? 162 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:41,240 How could you even think of bouncing bones with him when you could have been 163 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:42,240 with me? 164 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:49,400 A man who knows how to treat a woman with tenderness and sensitivity and 165 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:50,400 respect. 166 00:12:52,970 --> 00:12:54,030 So, John, how was she? 167 00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:31,770 at least four years ago. 168 00:13:32,430 --> 00:13:33,810 Four years? 169 00:13:34,610 --> 00:13:39,510 And in all that time, you, my best friend in the world with whom I share 170 00:13:39,510 --> 00:13:42,150 everything, couldn't be bothered to tell me? 171 00:13:43,870 --> 00:13:49,270 Well, there wasn't really that much to tell. It was just the one time, and it 172 00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:50,450 was so nothing. 173 00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:16,980 You got me to thank for it. 174 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:18,259 You, John? 175 00:15:18,260 --> 00:15:19,239 Yeah. 176 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,320 I'm the reason Ben asked Annie out in the first place. 177 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:22,959 You, John? 178 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:23,799 You betcha. 179 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:27,360 You see, the poor kid came to me and said he was having an affair with an 180 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,360 woman. 181 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:32,620 Apparently a lonely, desperate old woman who only wanted him for one thing 182 00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:37,320 anyway. So I told him he should drop that extra baggage and find someone his 183 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,380 age. This feels great. Finally someone took my advice. 184 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:31,360 I had no idea who Ben was talking about. I mean, when he said that he was seeing 185 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,360 an older woman, I thought he meant older older. 186 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,540 Not younger older, like you. 187 00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:40,380 And I thought he meant someone American. 188 00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:42,100 Not English. 189 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,800 It's completely different when the younger older person is English. 190 00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:50,240 Plus, I'm all for May -December relationships. 191 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,280 Of course, actually, you're probably closer to late August. 192 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:55,800 You... 193 00:16:56,570 --> 00:16:57,570 And Ben? 194 00:16:58,490 --> 00:17:00,510 You and Ben? 195 00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:06,190 How dare you yell at me for not blabbing about the John thing when you're 196 00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:07,490 clamming up about this? 197 00:17:07,849 --> 00:17:09,150 This is hot. 198 00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:13,990 This doesn't even come close to my insignificant John thing. 199 00:17:15,630 --> 00:17:17,230 You know, I wish you people would stop that. 200 00:17:18,510 --> 00:17:23,510 Hey, hey, I think it's nice you and Ben. You know, now your little boy will have 201 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:24,510 someone to play with. 202 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:29,800 seeing a younger man. 203 00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:33,900 Yeah, if the situation were reversed, nobody would think twice about it. 204 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:39,600 Besides, women reach their sexual peak at age 35, where men reach theirs at age 205 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,480 19. It's a scientific fact. 206 00:17:41,740 --> 00:17:45,960 Well, if it's a scientific fact, how come you all wanted to sleep with John? 207 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:48,940 He's older than dark. 208 00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:53,480 Louise, I'm really very surprised at you. 209 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,460 That's just the reaction I... 210 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,380 I don't mean the thing about you and Ben. I mean, I think that's great. But 211 00:17:59,380 --> 00:18:02,760 you're the one that wanted us all to come in here and finally bear our souls. 212 00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:06,200 And here you are, holding out on us. 213 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,960 How could I possibly tell you? 214 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,900 You'd think I was foolish. 215 00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:17,420 Poor, ridiculous Louise couldn't find anyone her own age, so she's having a 216 00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:22,120 fling with a young boy who'll leave her the instant he finds someone younger and 217 00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:23,120 prettier. 218 00:18:24,140 --> 00:18:25,140 Only... 219 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:31,340 It isn't a fling. 220 00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,120 At least not for me. 221 00:18:35,780 --> 00:18:38,880 Oh, I am foolish, aren't I? 222 00:18:39,260 --> 00:18:41,760 Oh, Louise, you're not foolish. 223 00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:00,579 Mitch, are you? 224 00:19:00,580 --> 00:19:01,580 Oh, no. 225 00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:05,280 I just let my imagination run away with me. 226 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,300 We trust each other completely. 227 00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:12,820 You didn't tell him about that little nothing meaningless thing, did you? 228 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,840 What are you, nuts? He's a cop. He has a gun. 229 00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:20,240 So did you and Mrs. Philbin. Anything? 230 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,200 Never happened. 231 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,120 And don't you start with your yak, yak, yak. 232 00:19:33,499 --> 00:19:36,180 remembered I have something else to do that night. 233 00:19:37,020 --> 00:19:40,760 Oh, that's okay. To tell you the truth, I really didn't want to take you anyway. 234 00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:42,580 Why not? 235 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:43,940 It's my hair, isn't it? 236 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,540 Look, I know it looks that way, but can I just explain about Annie? 237 00:20:02,740 --> 00:20:03,820 There's no need, Ben. 238 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:10,540 Our relationship is going nowhere. We've tried to hide it, to keep it from 239 00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:11,540 people. 240 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,160 But it just isn't working. 241 00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,200 What are you saying, Louise? 242 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:24,320 I'd like to go with you to the community center dance next Saturday. 243 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:27,780 You mean you don't care what people think about anymore? 244 00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:31,140 In a nutshell, no. 18146

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