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1
00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:02,620
Hi, Brad. How are you?
2
00:00:02,980 --> 00:00:04,100
How are you?
3
00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:05,960
Will you listen to this guy?
4
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:08,900
How are you? You're so considerate.
5
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:15,780
You know, John, old buddy, I was
thinking about what good friends we are
6
00:00:15,780 --> 00:00:18,060
you would do anything for me.
7
00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:19,800
And you know what else I was thinking?
8
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:21,840
Now, you should cut back on your
medication.
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00:00:24,460 --> 00:00:28,600
That's funny, John. No, I was thinking
that since the seniors are voting for
10
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:32,980
teacher of the year, that you would
maybe hand out these flyers to your
11
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Coach Derman, educator, humanitarian,
orphan?
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00:00:38,180 --> 00:00:39,180
Well, almost.
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00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:43,040
My father passed away two years ago. My
mother's on the ropes.
14
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:47,860
No, I'm sorry, Bram, but I'm not going
to do your campaigning for you. Oh.
15
00:00:48,350 --> 00:00:49,329
I get it, John.
16
00:00:49,330 --> 00:00:52,850
You want to win teacher of the year. You
know, Brad, this may sound strange to
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00:00:52,850 --> 00:00:55,190
you, but I don't need a plaque to know
that I'm a good teacher.
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00:00:55,630 --> 00:00:59,110
My reward is seeing a kid graduate, go
to college, and make something of
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himself. You've got a sports mentality.
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You know something?
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00:01:03,450 --> 00:01:05,630
Competition between teachers isn't very
healthy.
22
00:01:06,830 --> 00:01:08,330
Yeah, you're right, John.
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Winning isn't everything.
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00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:13,550
Well, thanks, John. I needed to hear
that.
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God, how I wish every teacher in this
school felt that way.
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I'd be a shoo -in.
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Winning isn't everything.
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Oh, that's a good one, John. Say hi to
the tooth fairy for me.
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Dear John is filmed before the studio
audience.
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Now, look, Wendy, we've been divorced
for two years now. You got the car, you
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pay for the car repairs.
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00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:25,420
I don't care if it needs a new
transmission.
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00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:29,380
Now, look, Wendy, Wendy, there is
nothing you can do to make me change my
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00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,600
No, no, no, nothing. Oh, hi, son.
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No, no, no, no, no, no. Of course you're
not going to have to walk six miles to
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00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,020
school in the freezing rain.
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00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,160
No, Matthew.
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No, just tell Mommy that Daddy's going
to pay to have the car fixed.
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00:02:47,860 --> 00:02:48,860
What?
40
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,960
She needs a car phone, too?
41
00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:58,820
Matthew, Matthew, all right, all right.
Just tell Mommy that Daddy will think
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00:02:58,820 --> 00:02:59,820
about it.
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00:03:01,540 --> 00:03:05,760
I have fresh donuts here. I want
everyone to try one.
44
00:03:06,140 --> 00:03:07,140
Hey,
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00:03:08,340 --> 00:03:09,860
has anyone seen my coffee mug?
46
00:03:10,220 --> 00:03:11,220
No.
47
00:03:11,420 --> 00:03:15,300
But why don't we go into this storage
room, turn off all the lights, get down
48
00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:17,080
our hands and knees, and look for it?
49
00:03:18,540 --> 00:03:22,780
In many cases, never may explain where
your coffee mug and the coat rack have
50
00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:27,000
disappeared to. It's as if starting
tonight, a new group is meeting in this
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00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,000
right before us.
52
00:03:28,260 --> 00:03:29,620
Oh? What group is that?
53
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:31,860
Clip to Maniacs Anonymous.
54
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:38,620
Anyone interested in joining, please
sign below with a pen attached for your
55
00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:39,620
convenience.
56
00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:47,180
Hi, everybody. Hey, there he is.
57
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:51,340
What happened to the boat ride?
58
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:54,200
It's a long story, John.
59
00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:57,840
Listen, I've got a statement to make
right here and right now. If anybody
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00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:01,460
me talk about getting remarried, I want
everybody in this group to jump on me
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00:04:01,460 --> 00:04:02,880
and beat me to a bloody pulp.
62
00:04:03,140 --> 00:04:04,140
Shut up, Bob.
63
00:04:05,140 --> 00:04:07,780
What's tasting you, Biscuit? Oh, Wendy.
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00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,000
She's driving me crazy.
65
00:04:09,390 --> 00:04:12,030
She got the car under divorce, and I'm
the one who has to pay for a new
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00:04:12,030 --> 00:04:15,610
transmission. Well, that sounds fair to
me. She gets a new transmission, and you
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00:04:15,610 --> 00:04:16,610
get the old chef.
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00:04:19,829 --> 00:04:24,170
Hello. I'm looking for the 121 Club. And
you found it.
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00:04:24,550 --> 00:04:29,610
Louise. I spoke with you today on the
phone. I'm Barry Sindler.
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00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:35,070
Oh, right. The one who's going through a
painful, tortuous, devastating...
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00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,020
gut -wrenching divorce.
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00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:40,180
So glad you're here.
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00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:42,040
Everybody!
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00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:43,740
Hi, Barry!
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00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:49,680
Now, Barry, why don't you just sit in
here and tell us a little bit about
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00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,680
yourself, your marriage, what you do,
etc.
77
00:04:53,900 --> 00:05:00,900
Well, like I said, my name is Barry, and
as she told you, I'm
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00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:01,900
going through a divorce.
79
00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:05,220
I'm not sure I should even mention what
I do for a living.
80
00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:06,460
Oh, why not?
81
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:10,400
Well, it could be something you've all
had trouble with at one time or another.
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00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:11,760
You're a vice cop?
83
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:14,980
Mrs. Fedler, please.
84
00:05:15,460 --> 00:05:18,160
Come on, Barry, we're all friends here.
No one's going to bar you from this
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group because of what you do for a
living.
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00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:20,680
Well,
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okay. I'm a divorce lawyer.
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That will be quite enough.
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Let's be civilized.
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00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:40,220
This man is asking for our support and
he's going to get it right, everybody.
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00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:42,280
Yeah.
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00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:47,400
Now, Barry, tell us about your divorce.
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Well... It's been very painful. Good.
John!
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Go ahead, Barry.
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00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,370
Well... My wife and I have been married
for 13 years.
96
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:05,030
We met in San Francisco.
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00:06:05,690 --> 00:06:08,530
It was a summer of love, a season of
joy.
98
00:06:08,930 --> 00:06:14,910
Now I find myself in court doing my best
to completely humiliate and belittle
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00:06:14,910 --> 00:06:16,510
her. There's no joy in that.
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Don't we know it.
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00:06:18,610 --> 00:06:20,690
Certain amount of professional pride, of
course.
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Look, maybe somebody else should talk
first.
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00:06:26,850 --> 00:06:28,430
Well, I had someone here.
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00:06:28,730 --> 00:06:33,310
would like to show Barry how our group
functions, how by opening you up and
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sharing, we've been able to get past our
problems and become whole again.
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00:06:38,670 --> 00:06:39,670
Ralph!
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There's something that's been bothering
me for a very long time.
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Glad I got that off my chest.
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00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:04,690
Tell us what's on your mind tonight.
Louise, we already know what I have on
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mind. Okay.
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00:07:08,410 --> 00:07:14,350
My ex -wife uses the car to drive my son
to school and to soccer practice and to
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00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:18,290
his music lessons, which, by the way, I
still pay for.
113
00:07:18,770 --> 00:07:22,070
So why the hell do I have to pay for the
upkeep on that car?
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00:07:22,450 --> 00:07:26,410
You pay for the upkeep on your ex
-wife's car? Well, it's in my name.
115
00:07:27,690 --> 00:07:32,970
She's got the car, but it's in your
name? Well, it has to be, because I pay
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the insurance.
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00:07:35,310 --> 00:07:41,070
No offense, John, but guys like me love
seeing guys like you in court. You know,
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the legal profession has a technical
term for people like you.
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00:07:45,470 --> 00:07:46,470
Doormat.
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00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:54,740
What? Talk about your legal mumbo
-jumbo. Now, wait a minute here. I am
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00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:58,320
doormat. For your information, my wife
and I had a very fair settlement. Yeah,
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they split everything right down the
middle. And she took both halves.
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00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:06,020
Doormat!
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00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,760
Dad, if I were you, I'd reopen my
divorce settlement.
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00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:11,060
No, thanks.
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00:08:11,860 --> 00:08:14,120
I want to put my son through another
divorce.
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00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:18,260
Perhaps someone else would like to share
with us.
128
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:21,100
Something that doesn't involve name
-calling.
129
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:22,480
Just a second.
130
00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:26,760
Barry, are you saying that if someone
thinks they got a raw deal, they can
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00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,320
renegotiate their settlement?
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00:08:28,700 --> 00:08:30,780
Oh, sure. We do it every day. Hey,
listen.
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00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:34,520
If you're bitter about how things turned
out... No, no, I'm not bitter. Why
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00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:35,439
should I be bitter?
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00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,419
Just because I put my husband through
medical school and he dumped me?
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That's a good reason. Damn right.
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00:08:41,820 --> 00:08:44,740
But, you know, now I've got a whole new
life.
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I got everything I wanted out of the
divorce.
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00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:50,300
Well, good for you. Well, then you got
everything you're entitled to.
140
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:55,440
You got your equity stake in his medical
practice. You got IRA investments, at
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00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,100
least half of his pension plan, right?
142
00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,060
Well, not exactly.
143
00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:02,280
So, uh, what did you get?
144
00:09:05,180 --> 00:09:06,440
I got the dining room table.
145
00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:11,460
I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. She got a
table.
146
00:09:13,370 --> 00:09:14,530
It was the dining room table.
147
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,710
Dormat! Just like John.
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00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:23,390
Oh, just a second. I've been through my
divorce, and now I'm moving on with my
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00:09:23,390 --> 00:09:24,390
life.
150
00:09:24,590 --> 00:09:25,590
Dormat!
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00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:32,470
On the other hand, maybe I should go
after my ex. This has been bothering me
152
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a really long time.
153
00:09:33,890 --> 00:09:38,050
Kate, listen. If you want a little legal
help, here's my card.
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You'd do that for me?
155
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,300
Why, sure, we're all in the same group.
It's like we're family.
156
00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:45,940
That's right. We're just like the
Simpsons.
157
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But prettier.
158
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Boy, I'd love to take that chiseler for
every nickel I've got coming to me.
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00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,560
Hey, would you listen to yourself?
160
00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:01,640
I mean, you're suddenly sounding greedy,
uncaring, very petty.
161
00:10:02,420 --> 00:10:06,180
Well, at least I'm not like you, John,
letting someone like Wendy walk all over
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00:10:06,180 --> 00:10:07,180
me.
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00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:11,090
I think you're being a little harsh with
John. Oh, Marlowe, she's probably
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00:10:11,090 --> 00:10:16,390
right. I do let Wendy walk all over me.
Hey, come on, John. Do not shortchange
165
00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:17,390
yourself.
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You let everyone walk all over you.
167
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,870
Hey, John, how's your day going?
168
00:10:26,550 --> 00:10:28,450
Well, my first... No time for chit
-chat.
169
00:10:28,770 --> 00:10:30,210
Do you have a tie I can borrow?
170
00:10:30,810 --> 00:10:32,270
I'm sorry, just the one I have on.
171
00:10:32,810 --> 00:10:33,810
Oh.
172
00:10:34,410 --> 00:10:35,410
Oh.
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00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:36,980
Well, what the hell, I'll take it.
174
00:10:38,380 --> 00:10:39,380
All right.
175
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,620
Here. What do you need it for?
176
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:45,620
Oh, they're going to announce Teacher of
the Year in a little while, and I just
177
00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:47,660
thought I should dress up for my
acceptance speech.
178
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:51,640
Oh. After all, I'm going to be a role
model for those kids now.
179
00:10:52,140 --> 00:10:54,580
They're going to look up to me. They're
going to respect me.
180
00:10:55,580 --> 00:10:59,820
Okay. First, the bunny runs around the
hole. Then the bunny goes down the hole.
181
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:01,640
I got it. I got it.
182
00:11:02,820 --> 00:11:03,820
What?
183
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:05,120
It's Lacey. Oh.
184
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:06,720
Look,
185
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:10,340
I'm glad you're both here. The students
just voted for the Teacher of the Year
186
00:11:10,340 --> 00:11:13,220
Award, and you two tied for first place.
187
00:11:13,980 --> 00:11:17,320
Really? We're having a runoff election
next week to decide the winner.
188
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:18,800
Good luck to both of you.
189
00:11:19,740 --> 00:11:20,740
All right!
190
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,160
We tied!
191
00:11:22,540 --> 00:11:23,540
I win!
192
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,180
What are you talking about?
193
00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:27,880
Oh, come on, John.
194
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,840
It's no contest. I mean, look who I'm up
against.
195
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,680
Wait a minute. Are you saying... What
are you saying?
196
00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:36,280
Are you saying that I'm a doormat?
197
00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:38,240
You do have a way with words.
198
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:42,640
Yeah, well, that's the old John Lacey.
From now on, you're looking at the new
199
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:46,500
John Lacey. Oh, come on, John. You know
as well as I do you're not very good at
200
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:47,500
going after what you want.
201
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:50,060
Now, I wonder where I should hang that
plaque.
202
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,580
Why don't you hang it right over there?
Because that baby's going to be mine.
203
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:53,959
Now give me back my tie.
204
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,560
What? You heard me. Give me back my tie.
205
00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:58,080
I'm through being a doorman. Give me
back my tie. Come on.
206
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,920
John, my tie. I'm beginning to hear
bells ringing.
207
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:05,940
Oh, hello, Wendy. I'm glad you called.
208
00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:10,600
John, the neck. Oh, you got the estimate
from the mechanic, huh? Yeah, that's
209
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,340
nice. Well, how about this? I'm not
going to send you a check. No.
210
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:19,020
Oh, the carburetor, too. The choke.
Check the choke. Yeah, but if you can't
211
00:12:19,020 --> 00:12:21,860
afford it, get out of the car and fix it
yourself.
212
00:12:24,479 --> 00:12:25,880
What are you staring at?
213
00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:36,820
All right, everybody,
214
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:38,100
settle down, settle down.
215
00:12:39,220 --> 00:12:42,860
I hope you all read chapters one through
six of The Grapes of Wrath like you
216
00:12:42,860 --> 00:12:45,580
were supposed to, because we're about to
have a pop quiz.
217
00:12:46,860 --> 00:12:51,220
I am well aware of the fact that I am up
for Teacher of the Year.
218
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:53,940
and that this isn't something a fun
teacher would do.
219
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,360
But I'm not going to pander to any one
of you.
220
00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,440
Nice haircut. I like it very much.
221
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,460
All right, I'll put your books under
your chairs.
222
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,000
Hi.
223
00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:09,300
Hi, John.
224
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:10,900
Hey, gang.
225
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:12,400
Hey, gang.
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00:13:12,620 --> 00:13:14,700
All right, what are you doing here?
Look, just take a minute.
227
00:13:15,660 --> 00:13:16,660
Okay, listen up.
228
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:20,120
Everybody in my nutrition class will be
meeting today.
229
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,180
At Peppy's Taco Hut.
230
00:13:24,260 --> 00:13:27,820
Peppy's Taco Hut. Yeah, I'm going to
teach them about the perils of junk
231
00:13:28,060 --> 00:13:31,860
By the way, the first 20 students there
get free nachos.
232
00:13:32,820 --> 00:13:37,260
Thank you. Thank you, Coach Cholesterol.
Now, if you don't mind, we're in the
233
00:13:37,260 --> 00:13:38,320
middle of a pop quiz.
234
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,120
Ooh, another one?
235
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:45,500
You kids hang in there. And just
remember, Coach Derman here is always
236
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,380
for you. That's Derman.
237
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,700
Derman. Dermot!
238
00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:52,480
Dermot! Dermot! Dermot!
239
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,000
Dermot! Dermot! Dermot! Dermot! Dermot!
Dermot! Dermot! Dermot! Dermot! Dermot!
240
00:13:55,180 --> 00:13:58,300
Dermot! Dermot! Dermot! Dermot! Dermot!
241
00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:01,780
Dermot!
242
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:07,240
Dermot!
243
00:14:14,740 --> 00:14:15,740
Dermot!
244
00:14:16,590 --> 00:14:22,690
By what name did Steinbeck refer to
those poor people from Oklahoma who
245
00:14:22,690 --> 00:14:23,690
to California?
246
00:14:25,230 --> 00:14:27,070
Okie dokie? You got that one?
247
00:14:30,630 --> 00:14:31,790
Next question.
248
00:14:32,590 --> 00:14:37,250
What was the main highway they took from
Oklahoma to California?
249
00:14:41,330 --> 00:14:45,270
And I'm not going to give you 66 minutes
to answer that question.
250
00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:47,720
No matter how hard you root.
251
00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:55,280
All right, I guess that's enough
questions for one quiz.
252
00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:58,020
Lacey, Lacey,
253
00:14:58,780 --> 00:15:00,240
Lacey, Lacey, Lacey.
254
00:15:23,470 --> 00:15:27,670
against my ex -husband. I'm going to
make him squirm. I'm finally going to
255
00:15:27,670 --> 00:15:29,850
even with that slug. Get me in, Kate.
256
00:15:31,290 --> 00:15:33,830
Hi. Oh, good evening, John.
257
00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:38,890
Kirk tells me you're being considered
for Teacher of the Year. Please, please.
258
00:15:38,890 --> 00:15:42,070
don't want to talk about that stupid
award. I don't want to think about it. I
259
00:15:42,070 --> 00:15:43,330
don't even want to hear it mentioned.
260
00:15:58,570 --> 00:16:02,430
If you want to win, you got to go with
what's in. You got to give the kids what
261
00:16:02,430 --> 00:16:03,430
they like.
262
00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:04,750
Noise.
263
00:16:06,150 --> 00:16:07,150
Get it, Ralphie.
264
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,860
John, but if you stop too fast, you can
break your tongue.
265
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:43,180
John, if you've already won teacher of
the year, why didn't you just say so?
266
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:45,340
Because, Louise, I am ashamed of myself.
267
00:16:45,740 --> 00:16:49,740
I actually gave my students the answer
to a test. Well, right, John.
268
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:53,100
That was my fallback play. Oh, Kirk, you
don't understand.
269
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:58,140
I'm a teacher. I compromise myself for
the sake of a meaningless award.
270
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,620
Well, I've compromised myself for a lot
less.
271
00:17:05,710 --> 00:17:07,670
A turkey dinner and a sailor's hat.
272
00:17:08,670 --> 00:17:15,670
Now I'm just going to have to go in
there on Monday morning and
273
00:17:15,670 --> 00:17:16,670
refuse that award.
274
00:17:16,810 --> 00:17:18,230
How did I let myself get into this?
275
00:17:18,510 --> 00:17:22,650
I believe it had something to do with
not wanting to be a doormat.
276
00:17:23,069 --> 00:17:24,349
Yeah, it was that lawyer.
277
00:17:26,010 --> 00:17:29,370
Did I ever listen to that blood -sucking
legal leech? John!
278
00:17:30,410 --> 00:17:34,250
Barry is not a leech. He's a very nice
man who's helping me handle the case
279
00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:38,010
against my ex -husband. Now, he's a
leech. Oh, come on, Kate.
280
00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:41,230
Wise up. He's not interested in helping
you. He's only interested in his fee.
281
00:17:41,410 --> 00:17:44,790
Ah, well, that's where you're wrong,
John. Barry hasn't charged me a dime.
282
00:17:44,990 --> 00:17:46,310
He said we're like family.
283
00:17:47,570 --> 00:17:48,570
Hello, everyone.
284
00:17:48,890 --> 00:17:49,609
Hi, Barry.
285
00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:52,470
Oh, Kate. Just the person I wanted to
see.
286
00:17:53,910 --> 00:17:54,910
Am I interrupting?
287
00:17:55,070 --> 00:17:57,210
I knew we haven't started yet.
288
00:17:57,550 --> 00:17:58,730
Good. Kate.
289
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,560
I looked over your case, and let me give
you the upside.
290
00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:03,320
It looks pretty good.
291
00:18:04,220 --> 00:18:05,220
Hear that?
292
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:06,580
Looks pretty good.
293
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,480
Now, before you get too excited, let me
give you the downside.
294
00:18:10,140 --> 00:18:11,140
Hear that?
295
00:18:12,980 --> 00:18:13,980
There's a downside.
296
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:20,540
Your ex has a pretty good lawyer. Okay,
a real shark. I've never beaten him in
297
00:18:20,540 --> 00:18:24,240
court, so I figure I'm due. How about
that? You're due.
298
00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:27,540
But, of course, these things can take
time.
299
00:18:28,670 --> 00:18:29,730
Ask him how long.
300
00:18:30,550 --> 00:18:33,830
How long? Not long. Four, five years
tops.
301
00:18:34,650 --> 00:18:39,290
Five years? That's an awful long time to
be tied up in court.
302
00:18:39,610 --> 00:18:41,650
That's a long time to be tied up
anywhere.
303
00:18:45,230 --> 00:18:46,310
Oh, excuse me.
304
00:18:48,790 --> 00:18:50,990
Ginger! Yeah, up here.
305
00:18:51,370 --> 00:18:52,610
I'll be down in a minute.
306
00:18:53,570 --> 00:18:54,570
My wife.
307
00:18:57,100 --> 00:19:01,080
Ah, too risky. Her damn lawyer wanted me
to open all my books, reveal all my
308
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:04,300
assets. The only thing I'd have left is
the mini mall in Orlando.
309
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:05,800
It's in my girlfriend's name.
310
00:19:06,820 --> 00:19:08,960
So, Kate, what do you say?
311
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,560
Want me to start filing the papers?
312
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:14,060
Oh, I don't know, Barry. Five years is
an awful lot of time.
313
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,540
It's not time spent, Kate.
314
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,240
It's time invested.
315
00:19:19,420 --> 00:19:22,260
Invested in your integrity, your
dignity, your self -esteem.
316
00:19:22,780 --> 00:19:24,080
It's something you owe yourself.
317
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,060
Now, Kate, you're not going to be alone
on this.
318
00:19:26,340 --> 00:19:29,040
I'm going to be right there fighting
side by side with you.
319
00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:30,540
What do you say?
320
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,320
All right, I'll do it.
321
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:37,220
Good. Well, we can get started as soon
as you write me a check for my $4 ,000
322
00:19:37,220 --> 00:19:39,960
retainer. $4 ,000?
323
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,080
Barry, I don't have $4 ,000.
324
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:44,960
Oh.
325
00:19:45,540 --> 00:19:47,700
Well, then we better forget the whole
thing.
326
00:19:48,540 --> 00:19:50,600
Yeah, you really didn't have much of a
case anyway.
327
00:19:51,780 --> 00:19:57,780
Barry, what kind of person are you? How
can you charge Kate $4 ,000 when you
328
00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:00,020
said you were going to treat her like
family?
329
00:20:00,260 --> 00:20:03,680
Hey, hey, hey, I am. That's the same
deal I gave my mother when I did her
330
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:04,680
divorce.
331
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,800
She must be one proud parent.
332
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,120
Oh, so now we hear from Mr.
333
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:15,380
Dormant. Wait a minute, Barry. That's
quite enough name -calling, you snake.
334
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:19,060
John Lacey is a man of integrity.
335
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:23,960
He's sensitive to the needs of others
and he believes in being fair. And that,
336
00:20:23,980 --> 00:20:26,860
Barry, is a real man, not a doormat.
337
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:28,300
Yes.
338
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,800
Thank you, Louise, for reminding me
about something important that I'd
339
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:35,800
forgotten.
340
00:20:36,340 --> 00:20:37,640
I am a fair man.
341
00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:40,160
I don't know what the hell I was worried
about.
342
00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:43,040
Excuse me, there's something I have to
take care of.
343
00:20:45,610 --> 00:20:48,790
You know, John and I are so much alike.
344
00:20:50,210 --> 00:20:54,270
Whenever someone says something nice
about me, I get so excited I have to go
345
00:20:54,270 --> 00:20:55,270
the bathroom, too.
346
00:20:59,090 --> 00:21:01,210
Get me right down, Ginger!
347
00:21:04,550 --> 00:21:10,430
Now, Kate, listen, if my fee's a real
problem for you, maybe we could have a
348
00:21:10,430 --> 00:21:13,710
quiet little dinner sometime and work
out some other arrangement.
349
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,100
She's going to kill me.
350
00:21:28,420 --> 00:21:31,020
I don't know why. It's under his
girlfriend's name.
351
00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:35,580
Okay, Kate. Okay, that's it. Okay,
you've got two hours of consultation.
352
00:21:35,580 --> 00:21:36,539
my bill.
353
00:21:36,540 --> 00:21:37,540
Sue me.
354
00:21:38,180 --> 00:21:39,280
Just like my mother.
355
00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:46,100
I'm sorry, Wendy. Maybe I did come on a
little too strong about the car repairs.
356
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,600
I would like to be fair.
357
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:52,840
Yeah, I'll tell you what. I'll pay for
half of the transmission.
358
00:21:53,700 --> 00:21:54,860
I'll send you a check today.
359
00:21:56,340 --> 00:21:57,340
What?
360
00:21:57,960 --> 00:21:58,960
What about the plumbing?
361
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:01,780
Well, why the hell should I have to pay
for that?
362
00:22:02,860 --> 00:22:06,560
Now, look, as I remember, I haven't set
foot in that house since you threw me
363
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:07,560
out.
364
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:12,160
Now, Wendy, Wendy, don't do this. Wendy,
Wendy, don't do this. I'm warning...
365
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:13,160
Hi, son.
366
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:27,840
Next, as an illegal alien seeks
sanctuary, Shannon works against the
367
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:32,180
flush out a corrupt corporate executive
and prevent his client's deportation on
368
00:22:32,180 --> 00:22:33,840
the season finale of Shannon's Deal.
369
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:38,900
And Sunday night, Raymond Burr is Perry
Mason in the case of The Silent Singer,
370
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:42,580
starring L .A. Law's Alan Rachins,
Vanessa Williams, and Tim Reed.
371
00:22:42,780 --> 00:22:44,400
Sunday night, only on NBC.
372
00:23:06,090 --> 00:23:08,070
these home videos have to be legitimate.
373
00:23:08,510 --> 00:23:10,930
So fake your fool as good as you can,
all right?
374
00:23:11,730 --> 00:23:14,170
Okay. Here's your banana peel.
375
00:23:15,850 --> 00:23:16,850
You ready?
376
00:23:17,330 --> 00:23:18,330
Okay.
377
00:23:36,650 --> 00:23:38,050
fake a better fool than that.
378
00:23:38,410 --> 00:23:42,970
See, Greg, I don't know about this. What
if I break my leg? All the better.
379
00:23:43,650 --> 00:23:50,210
Code Video Hijinks loves that stuff,
Ralphie. Last week, they gave $10 ,000
380
00:23:50,210 --> 00:23:54,690
this woman who sent in a videotape of
her husband getting shot in the stomach
381
00:23:54,690 --> 00:23:55,690
a cannon.
382
00:23:56,730 --> 00:23:59,030
That was on America's Most Wanted.
383
00:24:00,550 --> 00:24:02,010
What's the difference? It was still
funny.
384
00:24:03,470 --> 00:24:05,950
Come on, Ralphie. Let's try that fool
again, all right?
385
00:24:06,430 --> 00:24:10,370
Okay, and this time, think real.
29711
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