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1
00:00:08,750 --> 00:00:13,290
The life of an American Indian on an all
-new Quantum Leap. This is Scott Bakula
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inviting you to take the Quantum Leap
with me next.
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00:00:16,370 --> 00:00:20,910
And Thursday night, it's the case of Ann
Kelsey versus Rosalind Shays on an all
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00:00:20,910 --> 00:00:21,808
-new L .A. Law.
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00:00:21,810 --> 00:00:23,550
Thursday, only on NBC.
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00:00:46,730 --> 00:00:51,910
I must be an idiot putting up with all
the damn foolish school politics and
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00:00:51,910 --> 00:00:56,070
students who make me feel like I'm
interrupting their MTV time shoving
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literature down their throats. I do all
this and I still have to scrounge to
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00:01:00,130 --> 00:01:03,130
provide a little something special for
my own son.
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00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:09,950
You know, if you're interested, we do
have a full -time position open for an
11
00:01:09,950 --> 00:01:10,950
associate editor.
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Me? An editor?
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Well... Yeah, with your eye for quality
writing and your knowledge of
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literature, who better than you?
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And a starting salary isn't too bad,
either. $52 ,000. Well, thank you. I'm
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flattered, but my job is here. I'm a
teacher. I'm an educator.
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$52 ,000.
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John, I'm so glad you decided to join
us. Funny how things work out, isn't it?
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Yeah. Fifteen years ago, you were that
serious little girl in pigtails in the
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fourth row, and now look at you. You are
my boss.
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How about friend?
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Okay, friends. Yeah, that'll look better
on the memos.
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Welcome aboard.
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our studio audience.
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two old rabbits playing cards.
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Rookies.
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Now, look, pay attention. I'm only going
to do this once.
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Right?
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Why,
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Mrs. Philbert, did you used to dance
professionally?
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Oh, yes, but I gave it up when the snake
died.
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Dip in the secretarial pool.
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You grow up, Kirk.
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I'm not in the mood for your dumb locker
room humor.
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Ooh.
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Pretty tense for a big corporate
executive.
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No wonder the Japanese are getting ahead
of us.
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A little problem at the office, John.
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Well, uh, it's nothing important.
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I'm just thinking of quitting.
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What? What?
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that Barbara did not hire me for my
editorial merit alone.
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What are you saying?
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She used to have this schoolgirl crush
on me, you see, and now I think she's
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trying to carry it over into the office.
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Are you implying that your new boss
wants you?
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understand that I did not take this job
to become a sex object.
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I am not a bimbo.
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I'm sorry, John. It's just that I'm
having trouble picturing you as the
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floozy.
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Well, I am.
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What kind of a support group is this?
You tell somebody your problems and they
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laugh at you. I didn't laugh at you,
John. Thank you, Ralph, because I didn't
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know what you were talking about.
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For your information, this is what
happened. On the first day of the job,
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gives me this very passionate kiss.
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That suggested that she wanted a lot
more.
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Fortunately for me, she had to go to
Toronto.
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That makes sense.
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One kiss from you, she has to leave the
country.
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John, if this is bothering you so much,
why don't you just sit down and have a
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talk with Barbara when she gets back?
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Thank you, Louise. That's exactly what
I'm going to do.
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Don't get me wrong. I love the job, and
the money is great.
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I mean, hey, it's afforded me a chance
to send my kid to Belgium with his
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team. But I'll be damned if I'm going to
have to be Barbara's office boy toy.
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I will. I'm going to have a talk with
her, and if she doesn't understand that,
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then I'll just have to quit.
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Well, I can sympathize with you, John.
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Sexual harassment can be just awful.
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When I worked at Williams, Carlton,
Daniels, and Burke, hardly a day went by
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that I didn't have to fight off
advances.
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Global police stories are always very
popular. Your submission does not meet
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needs at this time.
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But thank you very much for submitting
your novel, Good Cop, Bad Cop, The Story
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of the Two -Headed Detective.
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Uh, yes, come in, come in.
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Uh, with best wishes, signed John Lacey,
associate editor.
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Oh, excuse, please, I'm having mail for
you. Well, how you doing?
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00:07:03,740 --> 00:07:04,740
Molotov, right?
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You know my name. And we only meet one
time. You have very good remembering.
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No, no. Memory.
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Oh, memory.
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So many new words, new names.
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Sometimes I feel so stupid, Mr... Lacey.
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Oh, Lacey.
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Don't be embarrassed. I used to have
trouble remembering names myself.
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Until I learned this little memory
trick.
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Now, look. You want to remember my name,
right? Okay. Just picture me doing
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this.
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Tying my shoelaces.
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Laces.
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Lacey.
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I get it. If I want to remember
something, I put picture with it.
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Let's try another one, okay? Let's try
to remember the name of the Japanese
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gentleman who works next door.
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Oh, very hard name to remember.
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No, no, no, not really.
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Do you know what a pawn shop is?
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Oh, sure. That's where you hock a watch
when you're not having money.
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Now, when you want to remember his name,
just picture him taking the engine from
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his car to a pawn shop.
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Pawn shop, car engine.
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Pawn shop.
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Car engine.
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Got it. Mr. Hakamoto.
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00:08:06,870 --> 00:08:09,210
Hey, there you go. That's very good.
Very good.
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Thank you very much, Mr.
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Lacey. Lacey.
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That's all right, honey. I don't need an
appointment.
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Hey, there's my pal.
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Whoa.
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John.
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Look at this setup.
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Kirk, what are you doing here?
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I brought you an office warming present.
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Oh.
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Well, uh, what is it?
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It's a paperweight.
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Oh, well, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
but not just any paperweight, John.
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it out.
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That is a piece of the Berlin Wall.
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Uh, Kirk, this is plaster.
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Of course it is.
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It's a piece of Irving Berlin's wall.
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I grabbed it just before the place went
condo.
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John, I also wanted to talk to you about
publishing my autobiography.
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Your autobiography? That is the story of
my life. I know what an autobiography
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is, Kirk.
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Good. Then I've come to the right place.
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Every publisher in this town is begging
me for that, John.
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But I've decided to give you the first
shot.
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That is the unfold exploits of one
honest, humble champion of democracy.
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Kirk Morris, a life.
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Can't put it down, can you?
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Yes, well, why don't you just leave it
with me, Kirk, because I've got a lot of
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other things to do right now.
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Oh. I'm sorry, John. I can come in. No,
Barbara, it's okay.
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This is my friend Kirk. He was just
leaving.
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00:10:03,830 --> 00:10:09,350
Oh, yes. I don't want to be late for my
lunch with Ernest Hemingway.
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But Ernest Hemingway is dead.
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So's disco.
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But I still do it.
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And I'm really glad you're back,
Barbara. Did you miss me? Oh, yeah.
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But we have to talk.
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No, really, we have to talk. All right,
darling.
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Darling? Listen, Barbara.
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Before was I right about you.
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On the plane, I read a few of your
critiques.
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I found them to be incisive and piercing
with a good sense of the market.
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And, by the way, the president of the
company agrees with me.
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Well, he really does, huh? Mm -hmm. Sure
does.
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Have you ever heard of Philip Whelan?
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Philip Whelan.
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The guy who wrote Moonlight in Malta.
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It's been on the bestseller list for the
last 65 weeks. Yes, I think I've heard
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of him.
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Well, we've just signed him.
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And guess who's going to be editing his
new book?
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You're kidding.
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Me?
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Congratulations, John.
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Oh, now what was it you wanted to tell
me?
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Oh.
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What I wanted to tell you was... God, I
love this...
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Wow,
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they already got a stage name.
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At least they ought to be pulling a
stage.
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publishing game going. Oh, the
publishing game. Well, it's just great.
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Guess who I spent the last hour with on
the telephone?
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The cable TV people?
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No, Ralph.
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I'll give you a hint.
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He wrote Moonlight in Malta.
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Philip Whelan! Exactly.
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I've seen his books at the airport.
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Right.
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Well, you are now looking at the editor
of Philip Whelan's newest novel.
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Barbara, hmm?
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Problem? What problem?
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When it's resolved.
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How did Barbara react when you told her
you refused to be the office bimbo?
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Well, actually, I didn't tell her.
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All right, John, I am proud of you. Can
we take this to mean that you and your
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boss are doing a little after -hours
corporate merging?
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00:13:53,079 --> 00:13:56,560
Besides, Barbara and I are both single,
and if we should decide to start seeing
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each other socially, what's wrong with
that?
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He's bongier.
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Now, look, what I do with my personal
life is my own business, and you
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00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:08,000
expect me to have to discuss this with
all of you. That's true, John, but don't
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do anything to get away at that book I
wrote for you.
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Kirk, this book you're working on, are
there crayons involved?
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It happens to be my autobiography. Oh.
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So there are crayons involved.
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00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:32,160
About your book, Kirk, I sent some of
the pages you gave me to one of our
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editors. He said it was a gripping,
riveting, larger -than -life story that
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a surefire bestseller.
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Well, I tell you, John, does that book
describe an exciting life or what? Oh,
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00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:49,400
said it was an exciting life, all right.
Unfortunately, Lech Walesa already
200
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:50,400
lived it.
201
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:52,340
What? Who?
202
00:14:52,740 --> 00:14:56,140
Well, Ensor. It was almost word for word
from his own life story.
203
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:57,460
Kirk, don't you understand?
204
00:14:57,780 --> 00:14:59,040
Plagiarism is against the law.
205
00:15:01,260 --> 00:15:02,260
Plagiarism, huh?
206
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,000
Yeah, okay.
207
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:05,920
I hear you, John.
208
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,960
Looks like I'm going to have to find
myself a good lawyer.
209
00:15:10,460 --> 00:15:14,580
In case I'm going to sue that foolish
rabble -rouser for every callback he's
210
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:15,580
got.
211
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,840
how I see Shakespeare's basic game plan.
212
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:31,300
Macbeth is over here with his men
flanked out to his left.
213
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:39,260
While Macduff is here with his men lined
up in the burning
214
00:15:39,260 --> 00:15:40,260
woods.
215
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:42,900
What is it now, Meyer?
216
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:45,700
Hey, Coach Derman, don't you mean
Burnham Woods?
217
00:15:46,260 --> 00:15:47,380
Burnham Woods?
218
00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:48,860
Burning Woods?
219
00:15:59,660 --> 00:16:00,660
in a slot right.
220
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:04,300
Calls a few audibles, but Macduff goes
for a bliss.
221
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Throws Macbeth for a big loss.
222
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:12,240
Then Shakespeare kills everybody else
off. And finally, he brings the three
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00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,820
witches back for a big post -game wrap
-up.
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00:16:15,620 --> 00:16:16,620
All right?
225
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,240
What is it, Debbie?
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00:16:22,460 --> 00:16:23,880
You see what you've started, Meyer?
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00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:28,680
Can we discuss the symbolism of Lady
Macbeth's references to Duncan as her
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00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:32,240
father? You're still trying to get back
at me for not making you a cheerleader,
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00:16:32,340 --> 00:16:33,239
huh?
230
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:34,240
Huh?
231
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:35,460
Saved by the bell.
232
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,200
Hi,
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00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:39,320
everybody.
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00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:40,520
Hey, John.
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00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:41,680
What brings you back?
236
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,240
Oh, I just came back to pick up the last
of my things, Brad.
237
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:46,400
Heard you were covering for my classes.
238
00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:48,200
Yeah, it's me until they find a
replacement.
239
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:52,300
Hey, look, I can't stand around and
talk. I gotta give the kids from the
240
00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:54,880
varsity their go -for -the -throat pep
talk.
241
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:56,640
Go -for -the -throat? Yeah.
242
00:16:57,180 --> 00:17:02,000
It's a lot of extra work, but I'm trying
to instill the killer instinct in them
243
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,000
when they're still young.
244
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:06,540
And, oh, hey, that's what teaching's all
about, isn't it?
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00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:08,920
Hey, don't be a stranger, John.
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00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:10,219
Right, Brad.
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00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:11,220
See ya.
248
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,599
Mr. Lacey. Oh, hi.
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00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,000
Hey,
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00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:22,920
how are you doing in English?
251
00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:24,940
Oh, well, I'm getting a B.
252
00:17:25,530 --> 00:17:26,910
Hey, that's great. Congratulations.
253
00:17:27,450 --> 00:17:30,390
Yeah, Coach Derman likes me because I
don't ask any questions in class.
254
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,830
Well, I guess every teacher has his own
methods.
255
00:17:34,210 --> 00:17:35,530
Yeah. Mr.
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00:17:35,730 --> 00:17:39,250
Lacey, I've got my college boards coming
up, and I sure wish I had a real
257
00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:40,470
teacher like you to tutor me.
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00:17:41,390 --> 00:17:46,330
Oh, I would love to, Stretch, but I'm
sorry I can't. I don't have enough time.
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00:17:46,810 --> 00:17:49,690
See, I got this new job. Oh, yeah.
260
00:17:51,149 --> 00:17:52,149
Sure.
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00:17:52,670 --> 00:17:53,670
It's okay.
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00:17:54,770 --> 00:17:57,590
Stretch, it's just that I'm not a
teacher anymore.
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00:17:58,450 --> 00:17:59,790
I understand, Mr. Lacey.
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00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,780
I am so happy. I am blowing up with
pride.
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00:18:44,260 --> 00:18:46,180
And I am owing it all to you.
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00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:51,380
Well, well, that's wonderful, Malat. You
are looking at brand new American
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00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,880
citizens. Congratulations, but why are
you thanking me?
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00:18:54,140 --> 00:18:56,980
Oh, I tried to become citizen before,
but I never passed interview.
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00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:01,700
So many things to know about your
country. Oh, like the branches of
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00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:07,820
So this time, I use your memory trick. I
picture a big tree with three branches.
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00:19:10,890 --> 00:19:13,030
On the first branch, I see bench.
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00:19:13,290 --> 00:19:14,550
Yeah. Who sits on bench?
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00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:19,750
Judge. Right. The judicial branch.
Right. Very good. And on the second
274
00:19:19,750 --> 00:19:23,790
see big treehouse with all the
congressmen and the senators. The
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00:19:23,790 --> 00:19:25,730
branch. We think alike, eh?
276
00:19:26,590 --> 00:19:29,870
Now, on the last branch is bush.
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00:19:30,410 --> 00:19:34,470
Ah? And on bush is bird. What kind of
bird?
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00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,920
and I'm very happy for you. Thank you,
Mr. Lacey. You're welcome. So am I.
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00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,760
That was a very smart thing you teach
me, Mr. Lacey.
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00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:50,400
You should be a teacher.
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00:19:54,340 --> 00:20:01,160
You should be a teacher.
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00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,080
Funny kid, huh?
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00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:06,620
John, guess what?
284
00:20:07,020 --> 00:20:08,840
I have got some great news.
285
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,860
I just got a phone call from Philip
Whelan.
286
00:20:12,580 --> 00:20:16,240
He saw your notes on his manuscript, and
he loved them.
287
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:21,000
He said from now on, he would like you
to help him with all of his books.
288
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,080
Really?
289
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:24,539
Uh -huh.
290
00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:26,900
He wants you almost as much as I do.
291
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:30,860
Hey, what's the matter?
292
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:35,840
You should be the happiest guy in the
world right now. You should be dancing
293
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,740
the desk. Yeah, I know, I know. I guess
I should, but...
294
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:44,040
This guy keeps looking over my shoulder
and telling me I'm in the wrong room.
295
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,200
What are you trying to tell me?
296
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:51,640
You don't want to go back to teaching,
do you?
297
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:54,520
I guess I do.
298
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:57,700
Like it or not, it's where I belong.
299
00:20:58,740 --> 00:21:00,600
You see, Barbara, I'm a teacher.
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00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:07,120
And although I'd be going back to longer
hours and a lot less money, it's, uh...
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00:21:08,899 --> 00:21:09,940
It's what I gotta do.
302
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,960
This may be hard to understand, but
there's nothing like that moment when
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00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,460
look into a student's eyes and you see
that he's got it.
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00:21:20,860 --> 00:21:26,000
See, I, uh... I miss that. I... I need
that.
305
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:31,820
Well, if you really want to know, I do
understand.
306
00:21:33,060 --> 00:21:37,300
I remember seeing your passion for
teaching when I was one of your
307
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,800
I guess it's what attracted me to you in
the first place.
308
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:45,880
Well, I guess I'm not working for you
anymore.
309
00:21:46,860 --> 00:21:49,140
No, I guess you're not.
310
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:51,740
Well, now that we've settled that, how
about dinner at my place?
311
00:21:52,780 --> 00:21:57,240
You're not just kissing up to your ex
-boss, are you? You bet I am.
312
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,000
Boy, America is dread country.
313
00:22:06,570 --> 00:22:08,310
They sure treat workers good here.
314
00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:12,750
Mr. Lacey.
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00:22:15,270 --> 00:22:16,510
That's right, it's me.
316
00:22:17,090 --> 00:22:20,830
I suppose you're all wondering why I'm
back teaching again and not in the
317
00:22:20,830 --> 00:22:21,830
publishing business anymore.
318
00:22:22,410 --> 00:22:26,170
Well, suffice it to say, I miss working
with you kids.
319
00:22:28,150 --> 00:22:29,570
Five bucks if you got canned.
320
00:22:30,810 --> 00:22:35,090
Oh, speaking of work, Bobby, we're going
to start this morning with Charles
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00:22:35,090 --> 00:22:38,800
Dickens. Now, tonight you're all going
to be expected to read the first two
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00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:40,340
chapters of Oliver Twist.
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00:22:40,780 --> 00:22:44,940
Oh, and get this. You're going to have a
quiz tomorrow.
324
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:46,440
Oh, wow.
325
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:50,000
Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. We want the
coach.
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00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:51,840
We want the coach.
327
00:22:52,100 --> 00:22:53,440
We want the coach.
328
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:57,940
We want the coach. Yes, sir. I will give
this up for the world. We want the
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00:22:57,940 --> 00:22:58,940
coach.
330
00:23:00,180 --> 00:23:02,200
Next, it's an all -new Quantum Leap.
331
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:06,480
And Friday night's getting nasty on NBC
with a series premiere of Nasty Boys.
332
00:23:06,820 --> 00:23:09,680
Then James Buster Douglas took the iron
out of Mike Tyson.
333
00:23:09,900 --> 00:23:13,580
But is he tough enough to step into the
ring with Hulk Hogan and Macho King
334
00:23:13,580 --> 00:23:17,700
Randy Savage on the main event? On Nasty
Night, that kicks off with Baywatch
335
00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:18,700
Friday.
336
00:23:36,810 --> 00:23:40,830
It's a lazy Sunday afternoon, right? The
Knicks game is on TV.
337
00:23:41,070 --> 00:23:45,030
You and me curled up together. A couple
of brewskis.
338
00:23:45,910 --> 00:23:47,670
Come on, what do you say?
339
00:23:48,210 --> 00:23:53,310
Gee, Kirk, I'd love to, but Sunday
afternoon I have to go down to the Long
340
00:23:53,310 --> 00:23:55,810
Island Railroad and put my hands on the
tracks.
341
00:23:59,130 --> 00:24:00,130
After that?
342
00:24:03,530 --> 00:24:04,650
I picked up our ticket.
343
00:24:04,930 --> 00:24:05,869
Oh, great.
344
00:24:05,870 --> 00:24:09,390
It was an awfully long line, but this
really nice man with pointy shoes let me
345
00:24:09,390 --> 00:24:10,390
stand in front of him.
346
00:24:11,810 --> 00:24:15,370
Hey, where's my ticket, and where are we
going?
347
00:24:15,970 --> 00:24:20,830
Kirk, we're taking Louise to a literary
luncheon for her birthday. Trust me, it
348
00:24:20,830 --> 00:24:21,729
wouldn't be interesting.
349
00:24:21,730 --> 00:24:23,630
I wouldn't be interested in a literary
event?
350
00:24:23,910 --> 00:24:28,850
I will have you know that just this
morning, I received a million -dollar
351
00:24:28,850 --> 00:24:31,090
from the publisher's clearinghouse.
352
00:24:33,930 --> 00:24:35,470
This is not for you, Kirk.
353
00:24:35,710 --> 00:24:40,570
Laurie Burmeister, the eminent author,
will be discussing what we women can
354
00:24:40,570 --> 00:24:42,070
forward to in the next decade.
355
00:24:42,570 --> 00:24:44,590
Then the one she mentions is my name.
356
00:24:46,290 --> 00:24:52,170
I read in Cosmo that in the 90s, women
will expand their sexuality by learning
357
00:24:52,170 --> 00:24:54,030
to sustain their eroticism.
358
00:24:54,350 --> 00:24:56,210
Great sex in the 90s, huh?
359
00:24:57,490 --> 00:24:59,750
Well, I'm certainly looking forward to
that.
360
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:04,400
Mrs. Filbert?
361
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:05,560
I'm 78.
362
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:07,640
Only 12 more years to go.
27433
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