Original subtitles

Animal Experiment 2145.

Objective, to isolate predominant clues of instinctual behavior

of lion cubs hunting or stalking prey.

Principle, stimuli, sight, sound, smell. It is

apparent that these lion cubs believe their senses.

Keystone of phase two of this experiment.

Which sense is the dominant one?

Three decoy chickens have been placed in another part of

the arena.

Purpose, find out if lion cubs will spot them

as substitutes and ignore them.

or if they will fall for that old human adage, seeing

is believing.

Apparently, these young untrained lions believe their

sight over their other senses.

Not having attended banquets, they are unaware of the fact

that they have been served.

Rubber chickens.

And they have failed to respond to a negative reaction.

Therefore, our conclusion for this particular experiment is

that in this peculiar situation, we may assume that at least one of

the lion cub has turned chicken.

Next experiment will feature Dinky the bear

He

was certainly lucky to come out of that with just a bump

on the head How is Sammy dad?

Oh, he was easy enough to patch up

But not so easy to make him lie down and rest.

Say, how did you know who he was?

Oh, anybody can recognize a celebrity like Sammy Spots. He's the funniest man

the world. I've read all about him.

Well, perhaps was the funniest man, Paula.

Don't forget, you were very young, and the magazines you read were very old.

But once a comedian, always a comedian.

You know, I guess there's nothing more serious in the business of making people

laugh and nothing sadder than a comedian that people don't laugh at anymore.

Sometimes it can be so easy for people to forget.

Maybe the only thing that people forgot is how to laugh.

Hey, anybody get the license number of that king -sized turkey that hit me?

What are you doing out of bed?

All right, come on.

All right, well, that's for a little while. Take a seat.

Hey, Doc, what kind of hospital are you running here? I pulled a cord for the

nurse and it fell on the floor and wriggled away.

Here's just what the doctor ordered.

Oh, yeah?

This stuff covered by Medicare?

Well...

Hey, this is good. And now, madam, what is the specialty of the house?

Elephant's steak?

Well, it just might be, seeing that you're enjoying the eland's milk, so.

Eland's milk? Uh -huh.

Hey, this isn't bad. You know, you put a little chocolate syrup in here and make

it quite a malted.

This is my daughter, Paula.

Hi. And my assistant, Mike McCullough.

How are you? Oh, you just sit there.

I already know who you are.

You know who I am?

I see spots.

Before my eyes. That's right, kiddies. Don't get scared.

It's your Uncle Sammy's spot.

I read about you in all the old TV magazines that our shipment of DDT came

wrapped in.

That figures.

Now, Terry, I think I'd better go round up to the left of the chickens and check

the damage to our packing crates.

That's a good idea, and you might check the car, too. Mm -hmm.

Gee, Doc, I'm awful sorry I made such a mess of everything here.

Oh, no, it was just some copper tubing in those cases.

No, it's Hedley's car I'm worried about.

Hedley? Oh, yes, he radioed me and warned, advised me that Mr.

Spotts might be dropping in.

Oh, what are you doing here in Wilmero?

Well, I just figured I'd drop in and visit some of my old fans.

According to Hedley, you want to meet some of our animals and record their

voices? Yeah.

For an experiment?

Well, I guess I am trying to prove something.

Well, in that case, Paula, why don't you show our guest around?

I'd be delighted to. Oh, good.

Hey, what's at the monkey business, little fella? Oh, that little fella's

Judy? What?

Judy? You know, it's hard to tell with these newfangled hairdos.

Judy, huh? Judy, Judy, Judy, come on along with us.

Not much of a conversation, listen. Come on, you two. You'll have plenty of time

to know each other. Come on, Judy.

Boy, I'd hate to see him when he hasn't been bumped on the head.

Then I started in Vaudeville. I used to be with the Dance Act. We were a trio.

The three high flyers, you've probably heard about us.

Baylows, Klein, and McGillicuddy.

And we had one of those acts where they have two fellas throw a girl around, and

the first week we used 37 different girls.

My partner kept saying, I thought you had her.

I should have known he was nearsighted. We went hunting one day. He picked up a

snake to kill a stick.

What am I doing? I'm supposed to be interviewing you.

Oh, hi, Slim.

I bet food goes a long way with you.

I think I know that guy from Great Neck, Long Island.

Uh,

tell me something. Do you, uh, have a family tree?

Or you don't even have a flower pot?

Well, how do you like being a monkey?

It's more fun than a barrel of people.

You think you'd like to go into show business?

What?

Oh, you can't dance, sing, act, or tell jokes? Well, you'd probably be a star.

And then if you get tired of acting, we could always run you for governor.

Or maybe senator.

I bet you can sing. Let me hear you sing.

Beautiful, beautiful.

You know what we're going to do? We're going to let your hair grow long, get

a guitar, and I bet we'll get you a recording contract.

Hey, come on. We better stop monkeying around. I've got other places to go.

Hey, how do you like this one, fellas?

You know how you can always tell an elephant from any other animal?

They always have the faint odor of peanuts on their breath.

Come

on.

I thought they were supposed to laugh.

Don't all hyenas laugh?

Only the spotted hyenas laugh. These are the striped species called Cucuta

Cucuta. Cucuta Cucuta? Sounds like a cigar.

Hey, maybe it's Swahili for striped pajamas.

Why don't they wear spots like everybody else?

Well, if that's all I'm going to get out of these guys, I already got it.

Well, where do we go from here?

This way.

Pretty cloppy eater.

Say something when Camel.

Did your mother ever tell you not to talk with your mouth full?

Why don't you put a few labels on his trunk in case he wants to travel?

Do you know where elephants are usually found?

Well, they're so big, I imagine they're very seldom lost.

Well, Modoc here isn't an African elephant.

No? No, Dad imported him from India for an experiment.

Well, African or Indian, who'd care except a girl elephant?

You know something? He's very gentle. Don't let that fool you. Every animal in

the jungle is afraid of an elephant.

Once they start charging, I don't know how you'd stop one.

Come on.

What's his problem?

I didn't even tell him a joke yet.

What's the matter? Are you jealous of my shoes or something? Come on, let's get

out of here quick.

Wait a minute. I forgot something. This is no time to be brave.

Who's brave? I forgot to get a recording.

I would like to... Wait here.

And stay out of trouble, the both of you.

I've got to report this crocodile to Dad before somebody gets hurt.

Stay out of trouble. What's she talking about? Outside of that fugitive from a

handbag over there? Why, this is probably the most peaceful and restful

the whole world.

Find your own three.

Get away from there. It's a real lion, like the gut in a zoo.

It's only Clarence. He won't hurt you. Come on down.

Family pet?

Yes.

Boy, good thing you don't live in an apartment.

Hey, where you been?

I told you there's nothing to worry about.

It's only Clarence.

I always wanted a monkey for a partner.

They work for peanuts.

Well, if it's all right with Dad, you can.

He sure likes you.

Hey, but not a word of this to Judy. You know how jealous she gets.

Hey, look at his eyes.

I knew there was something cross about him.

Well, Tracy, I think I'm on the right track.

Jack, I'd like you to meet an idol of mine.

I think two shots of penicillin would cure those German measles.

Oh, Sammy Spots at your service. Hey, and from what I just saw in there, you

must be the cook around here.

Oh, Sammy, I want you to meet Jack Dane. This is Dad's assistant.

Jack is an animal psychologist.

Animal psychologist?

Gee, he looks just like a human being. You could have fooled me.

Hey, Doc, how do you get an elephant to lay down on the couch?

Oh, for elephants, we don't use couch.

Just trunk.

Jack, tell Sammy about your experiment with Dinky.

Dinky? Oh, Dinky's a North American bear in there. Oh, next to Clarence and

Judy. He's my favorite.

Tell him.

Well, okay, I've been conducting all these tests on the sensory adaptation of

alien species.

Alien? You mean you're smuggling American bears into Africa? Hey, does

Headley know this?

Yes, as a matter of fact, he and Dinky have tea regularly.

Oh, well, Pinky might eat.

Well, anyhow, for this experiment, I took one plate and put Dinky's food in

In the other plates, I put food that's found only in this part of the world.

You know those round plates you can't get a square meal?

Go ahead.

I've been trying to.

So then I covered them all with whipped cream. That disguised the scent and the

taste. Well, you saw it. He went for all of them.

Jack, that's important. If little Dinky will adapt to a completely new

environment, will you know what you have?

Yeah, you got the best pie -throwing act in Africa.

Hey, why don't you call my booking agent?

I'd rather call your travel agent. And that goes for your little brother, too.

Hey, Jack, wait. I still want to hear more about Dinky. You stay here with

I'll be right back.

Well, here. Have a ball.

Well, here we are again, Judy. Only this time I hope there aren't any lions

around here.

But I just remembered there's the cutest little bear who's waiting to be

interviewed. Come on, let's go. And you, whatever your name is, you wait here.

Come on, Judy.

Come

on.

Come on.

Come on, Judy. Don't be afraid. He won't hurt you.

Come on. Come on.

Oh, all right.

Say a few words to the folks back home. No, don't eat it.

No.

Come on, say, speak up, speak up.

I can barely hear you. Don't eat that.

Hey, there's a good joke. Bare, barely hear you. Get it?

Come on, I can tell a better joke than that. Wait a minute.

How do you like that? Everybody's a critic.

Hey, don't go out there. You haven't got a permit.

Well, I thought the next thing I would do is try a transfer of learning

experiment. Sounds like a novel approach, Jack.

Hey, who let this open?

Dinky's gone.

Who let him out?

Oh, I'm sorry. I just went in to record a few of his grunts.

Oh, no. Little Dinky's going to get himself killed.

Now, don't worry, Paula. We'll get him back. Which way did he go, Spots?

Out there.

Three months of hard work went into that research animal.

If we don't find him, you better get lost, Mr.

Spots.

Oh, you're not running out on me, too.

Gee, I didn't even think of a name for you yet.

I love you.

Gee, Judy, I always wanted to kill an audience, but not a little bear.

So that's three months of work down the drain.

Can't validate the findings. The whole thing's a waste now.

Poor Dinky. He's probably dead. A hyena or something.

Well, Dinky's a pretty clever little rascal, Paula. Things aren't all that

Not all that bad. You know that buffoon wrecked the whole supply of copper

tubing I was going to use for the new greenhouse?

Jack! Dane, he didn't do that on purpose, and you know it.

Look, all I know is we'd better get him out of here before he wrecks the whole

compound. Dad, all he was doing was gathering material for his new act.

Well, we'll ring down the curtain on that new act.

Well, I think our guess is about Finney's getting what he came for

That's it. That's a good little fella.

Now, don't you go running away again. You might get lost.

Uh -oh, what now?

Hey, close that door before he runs out again.

Sammy, you found Dinky.

He came back? But how?

Well, you guys may know a lot about animal psychology, but communication is

racket. All I did was say a few words to him in bear, and he got the message

like that.

Hey, did you find my monkey?

Oh, no.

Dad, maybe he can communicate in animal languages.

Well, Paula, scientists have been trying to communicate with animals for years.

I sincerely doubt if a layman suddenly latched on to them.

What do you mean, suddenly?

It's been my life, listening to people and animals and everything.

Didn't Hedley mention something about having a plane waiting for Mr. Spatz?

Yes, yes, he did.

Well, Dad, what if Sammy isn't finished?

It's all right, Paula.

I'm finished around here, I guess.

I'm going back to the house to get my bag.

I'll walk there with you. Thank you.

Talks to the animals.

Another St. Francis.

Next thing, he's going to want to write a book.

Look, look, look. I goofed things up pretty good, didn't I?

Well, it's just they're both so hypersensitive.

Oh, come on. Now, don't go blaming them. You know, I did have something to do

with it.

Your father's a very dedicated man, and he's got it plenty tough around here

without me making it tougher for him.

I know.

Jack, what... Oh, Jack, it's all right. He just takes himself too seriously.

You know, you get to working so hard with the animals around here, you forget

how much fun they can be and how much you can learn from them.

You know, I know, because I used to be with a circus.

Were you? That was before I decided to go to the big city and become a comic.

Look, you're not just a comic.

You're a kind and sensitive man. Yes, you are. Come on. Now, don't you start

analyzing me. Will you do me a favor, honey?

Just go see your dad, have him make arrangements for my flight.

And I'll wait at the hot place.

All right.

Oh, hi, Judy. Well, at least you didn't desert me. Come here. Give me that

microphone. You've got to do enough trouble already.

Hey, you know, I used to be on the radio myself. I used to imitate people.

Chief, you recognize this one?

Attention all units.

This is District Officer Hedley speaking.

Be on the lookout for a dangerous character.

Clarence the Lion has escaped.

He ran wild and killed five people and must be shot on sight.

He is not to be taken alive.

Repeat, this is a top priority order. He is not to be taken alive.

Shoot on sight.

That is all. This is Officer Headley signing off.

Well, how do you like that?

Well, now for my next imitation.

Oh, hi, Doc.

Just saying goodbye to Judy here.

Well, Sammy, I think I should apologize for not being a very good host.

Why should you apologize? I crashed in on you, and I scattered your chickens,

busted your pipes, polished beer. Well, accidents will happen. Yeah, but nothing

Carlo Glotz.

Seriously, Sammy, I hope that someday you'll write me on your ideas about

communication. Yeah, as soon as I learn to write, I promise.

Well, we're...

all set, Mr. Spots.

Truck's warmed up, and I guarantee you I will break every record in getting you

back to Hedley's.

Well, Jack, I'm going to need you here.

Paula, why don't you drive Mr. Spots back and tell Hedley we'll have his

radiator fixed in the morning.

Sure, Dad. Come on, Sammy.

Well, Doc, I guess this is it.

Gee, thanks for everything.

Send me your bill.

And you, I'll send you my bill.

Oh! Judy, Judy, how can we leave you after all we're engaged?

Easy, we'll take her with us. Hey, Dad, can we take Clarence, too?

Oh, sure.

Yeah? Hey, that's swell. He could be best man.

Come on, Judy.

Hey, I'm going to have to call this tour short. It's getting late.

Well, gee, I only got about a minute and a half of tape left, and I didn't

record any birds yet.

Hmm.

Well, we might be able to hear something in those trees over there, but we'll

have to sneak up on them. So let's sneak up on them. Okay.

Clarence, you stay here. You'll only frighten them.

I love you.

Thanks.

Well, see, I had to come back for a match set.

Well, it wasn't my fault. How was I supposed to know those guys were the

They were going to shoot Clarence.

They'll never get rid of him.

Jack, he found Dinky, didn't he?

Yeah, fine. Except for the fact that Dinky wouldn't have followed that truck

the first place if this one didn't confuse him with his female bear

He was perfectly safe.

But Clarence wasn't.

Those Ascari's were about to shoot him.

Yeah, and I saved his life, didn't I?

Yeah.

Marsh, why would they try and kill Clarence?

They said they had orders from Headley.

I've been trying to call them on the radio to find out about it.

Orders? From Headley?

Yeah, that's what they said.

Said the call came in earlier this afternoon.

That Clarence had escaped and was dangerous.

Oh.

Is something hurting you?

Yeah, my conscience.

Forget about Hedley. I gave those orders.

You did what?

Sure, he imitated Hedley's voice and used your radio.

Yeah, but I didn't do it on purpose. I was just having a little fun with Judy,

that's all. I didn't know she was going to turn on the transmitter. Right, Judy?

Look, Mars, suppose I take this guy back before something else happens.

I don't think anything else can happen.

Now, besides, we've got to help Mike round up those Elandin. And Paula.

Oh, I know, I know. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't taken that detour.

This time I'll go straight to Headley's, nonstop. I promise.

Well, I guess I must be off. And no cracks.

You're in no shape to travel yet.

I'm in no shape to stay here. If I stay here, I won't have any shape left at

all.

Well, Doc, here we go again.

Anything I hate more than a long goodbye is a lot of short ones. So long, Cindy.

See you next time.

Don't visit us. We'll visit you.

Oh, Judy, come on. You can go along, too. But this time, leave your friend

the fur coat at home. He just gets us into a lot of trouble.

Well, so long, Clarence. See you at MGM.

Hey, no more detours, Paula. I got all the recordings I need.

No, it's the engine. It's overheating. It's probably a vapor lock.

Oh?

Well,

there's a stream out there. I'll get you some water.

Here, Judy.

You take care of this for me.

What a nice little putty cat.

Come here, baby.

Oh, what a nice little putty cat.

Oh, no!

Oh, no, Sammy, put it down. Come on, drop it. Why?

She won't hurt me.

Never pick up a baby animal like that.

Now, let's get back to the truck and hurry.

Well, wait a minute. I didn't even get to water yet.

Don't you understand? The parents are probably nearby.

Oh, yeah. Well, let's forget about the water. Let the motor cool by itself.

Mom and Papa?

Yeah.

Uncle and Aunt?

You know, something looks like they're getting ready for a family reunion

dinner, and I think we're the main course.

I think they stopped.

More of them are joining the others.

Maybe we can bluff them if we just stand our ground.

They're on my chest.

I'm not afraid of anything.

Yeah, and, boy, are we outnumbered.

Just don't make any sudden moves.

Are you kidding? I'm so scared now I can't even think of a bad joke.

England are present and accounted for, Marshal. Not good.

Hey, what's the matter?

Well, I've been trying to reach Paul on the radio, but he doesn't answer.

Think something happened to the truck?

Well, that's not likely.

Uh -oh.

I hope she didn't let that Spots character talk her into another detour.

Paul would make the same mistake twice, and besides, she knows there's a plane

waiting to take him to Nagoro.

Yeah, I guess so.

What do you say we give in to a little fatherly concern, huh?

If we stand our ground much longer, I'll grow roots.

Hey, they've made an

opening. We might have a chance if we can move through those trees over there.

We must move very slowly.

The dash for the truck.

Judy, take care of my recorder. It's expensive.

And drop that lion cub. I'll buy you another one.

We're settling down.

Come on, I think we might make it.

Now, slowly.

Judy. Turn it off, quick.

It's too late. They've heard it. I think another lion's invaded their territory.

Look, fellas, it was only Clarence's voice.

No use.

Nothing's going to keep him back now.

Hey, how about the little lion cub? We can get it and hold it for a hostage.

Judy, come back.

My tape recorder.

Here's our chance to get away while Judy got them distracted.

We can't leave her here. She's left her scent all over that lion cub. They'll

only kill her.

The branch is breaking.

So is my heart.

Well, they haven't turned off the road so far.

There's the truck.

See? They did stop.

Told you that clown would cause more trouble.

They've kind of gone far. Come on. Grab the rifle. Right.

We haven't got enough tranquilizing darts for all of them.

What are we going to do?

Sam, can't we do something?

Is that really true, what you said about elephants?

Why, yes.

Lions, it's the only thing they're afraid of.

But there aren't any elephants around here.

Want to bet?

Excuse me, fellas.

All right, Judy, come on. The tape recorder. A forward pass.

Come on now, Modoc. Let's hear that beautiful Indian love call.

Well, Sammy, I really don't quite know what to say.

I've never been so wrong about anybody in my life.

Okay, Jack.

I was pretty wrong, too.

Never before have so few been so wrong about so little.

Well, in spite of everything, you certainly demonstrated the effectiveness

animal sounds in relation to other animals.

Well, if I'd have just kept my clumsy feet off your game preserve and kept my

big mouth shut, things might have been different around here.

I think they'll never be the same again.

Well, come on, come on. Save the flattery for the next meeting of the

Admiration Society.

Come on, come on. Save the flattery for the next meeting of the Mutual

Admiration Society.

Well, Haley, after all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Wait a minute.

Get here.

Look at that.

There she is.

Miss Romero herself.

Well,

Judy, goodbye, baby. If you ever come to the United States, you and I will team

up. We'll go on television together.

Doc, I think you better take her. Go on.

Oh,

baby, you did come back.

Isn't that great? She does care.

Now all I got to do is think up a name for her.

Home, Petley, home.

That's funny!

Hi.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0