Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:04,140
Five, six, seven, eight.
2
00:00:06,820 --> 00:00:07,820
And leap.
3
00:00:08,380 --> 00:00:09,500
Turn. Chasse.
4
00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:11,920
Chasse. Snap, snap, snap, stop!
5
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:16,140
What? Uh, I would like you to tell me
exactly what that was.
6
00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:19,740
Uh, Chino's big fight scene from West
Side Story.
7
00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:23,560
Well, it looked to me like he was
fighting musical theater, and musical
8
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:24,560
was losing.
9
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,580
Aunt Linda, I appreciate you helping me
with my choreography for the school
10
00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:29,240
play, but do you have to be so
demeaning?
11
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:31,690
What's the... matter? Is it too much for
baby?
12
00:00:32,990 --> 00:00:37,390
Baby can't cuddle, huh? Does baby want
to quit, huh? No, dammit, baby can do
13
00:00:37,750 --> 00:00:39,250
Five, six, seven, eight.
14
00:00:40,370 --> 00:00:41,249
See ya.
15
00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:42,850
I'm going to the movies. With who?
16
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:46,870
Trey. You've never met him. Wait a
minute.
17
00:00:47,950 --> 00:00:49,970
I've never met him.
18
00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:51,330
Hmm.
19
00:00:51,670 --> 00:00:56,610
If there was only some opening in the
wall through which he could enter and
20
00:00:56,610 --> 00:00:58,010
introduce himself.
21
00:01:04,209 --> 00:01:05,830
Trey, get your ass in here.
22
00:01:07,490 --> 00:01:08,490
Eureka.
23
00:01:09,250 --> 00:01:12,050
Okay, Mom, just hear me out, okay?
24
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:13,550
Trey's a little bit older.
25
00:01:13,790 --> 00:01:15,590
Oh, my God, he's in college? No.
26
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:19,470
I know I'm not allowed to date college
guys, but don't worry, he dropped out.
27
00:01:21,910 --> 00:01:22,910
Hey.
28
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:24,450
Hey.
29
00:01:24,930 --> 00:01:25,930
Trey.
30
00:01:27,290 --> 00:01:29,350
Are you sure you're not Trey's father?
31
00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:32,960
Ooh, and I just found out I'm not
Tyler's father either.
32
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,360
DNA rocks.
33
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:42,680
Well, have a good time at the movies.
34
00:01:43,820 --> 00:01:47,920
I was talking to him. You're not going
anywhere with that guy ever.
35
00:01:48,220 --> 00:01:49,460
Mom, this is so unfair.
36
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,480
Lauren, that guy reeks of loser.
37
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:52,840
He is not a loser.
38
00:01:53,140 --> 00:01:56,260
Hey, we have to leave right now, Lauren,
if we're going to sneak into the 7 .30
39
00:01:56,260 --> 00:01:57,260
show.
40
00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,780
He has to save his money. He's putting
himself through bartending school.
41
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:04,940
Lauren, you need to have higher
standards when it comes to boys.
42
00:02:05,060 --> 00:02:06,300
you'll end up with some low life.
43
00:02:06,780 --> 00:02:08,419
Look what I taught Tina to do.
44
00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:14,980
This one really is mine.
45
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,040
We're really going to miss you around
here.
46
00:02:30,260 --> 00:02:33,320
I can't wait to have a child. I know.
They're great.
47
00:02:34,060 --> 00:02:35,060
Want three more?
48
00:02:37,340 --> 00:02:40,600
Hey, has Dr. Holman found your
replacement yet?
49
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:44,960
No. You should talk to him about it. He
pays a lot more than the other dentists
50
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,940
in the office, and I only have a four
-day work week.
51
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:49,600
Really? I'd love that.
52
00:02:49,820 --> 00:02:52,280
Plus, he gave me this.
53
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,000
Oh, my God.
54
00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:57,120
That's from him?
55
00:02:57,530 --> 00:02:59,650
Yeah, for Christmas. It's cashmere.
56
00:03:01,090 --> 00:03:02,090
Good night, Tammy.
57
00:03:02,790 --> 00:03:07,490
Thanks again for the... Oh, it was worth
it, seeing the look on your face when I
58
00:03:07,490 --> 00:03:08,490
gave it to you.
59
00:03:12,870 --> 00:03:17,770
Yeah. So, Dr. Holman, I hear you haven't
found a replacement for Tammy yet.
60
00:03:17,950 --> 00:03:21,690
Yeah, but it's hard to find someone who
has their priorities straight when it
61
00:03:21,690 --> 00:03:23,330
comes to home versus the office.
62
00:03:23,630 --> 00:03:24,970
Oh, I hear you.
63
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,410
For me...
64
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,760
Work always comes first. My family could
take a flying leap.
65
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:35,680
Actually, I'm talking about a well
-rounded person who likes to spend time
66
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:36,680
their family.
67
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:44,060
That's exactly what I meant about taking
a flying leap. We skydive together as
68
00:03:44,060 --> 00:03:45,400
family. Well,
69
00:03:46,540 --> 00:03:52,560
that's great because my motto has always
been family is the most important meal
70
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:53,560
of things.
71
00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:56,730
That's my motto, too? Oh, wow.
72
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:58,170
Chills.
73
00:03:59,130 --> 00:04:01,070
I'm glad to know that's how you feel.
Yeah.
74
00:04:01,350 --> 00:04:03,450
Would you consider me for the job?
75
00:04:03,690 --> 00:04:07,330
It'd be great to work with someone who
loves their family since I treasure mine
76
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,110
so much. Excuse me.
77
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:14,070
What the hell are you two boobs doing
here? Don't ever bother me at work.
78
00:04:14,550 --> 00:04:16,490
I chipped a tooth during a knife fight.
79
00:04:16,709 --> 00:04:19,110
Oh, my God. You were in a knife fight.
80
00:04:19,930 --> 00:04:23,970
Imagine the gayest knife fight you ever
saw and then add dancing.
81
00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:27,190
Sign him in. I'll see if Dr.
82
00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:28,410
Gerber has an opening.
83
00:04:30,630 --> 00:04:31,630
Are you okay?
84
00:04:31,970 --> 00:04:35,690
Yeah, I chipped a tooth. I got kicked in
the mouth. What happened?
85
00:04:36,350 --> 00:04:37,990
A knife fight gone bad.
86
00:04:38,530 --> 00:04:39,530
Wow.
87
00:04:40,190 --> 00:04:41,189
Cool hat.
88
00:04:41,190 --> 00:04:42,190
What's with the shark?
89
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,370
It's my gang tattoo.
90
00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:45,630
I'm Chino.
91
00:04:45,990 --> 00:04:46,990
I'm Amy.
92
00:04:47,210 --> 00:04:50,270
I know they don't have guys like you at
St. Mary's. Oh.
93
00:04:50,650 --> 00:04:52,390
Um, listen, I think you've
misunderstood.
94
00:04:52,950 --> 00:04:54,210
See, I'm in West Side Sharks.
95
00:04:54,770 --> 00:04:57,150
That's the name of his gang, the West
Side Sharks.
96
00:04:57,450 --> 00:04:59,770
And I'm about at the end of my rope with
this punk.
97
00:04:59,990 --> 00:05:02,350
Gino, can I talk to you for a second?
98
00:05:02,910 --> 00:05:09,790
Yeah. What are you doing? Saving you
from nerdicide. You actually have a shot
99
00:05:09,790 --> 00:05:10,790
with that girl.
100
00:05:11,230 --> 00:05:16,130
She's a little out of my league. That is
not true. She's totally out of your
101
00:05:16,130 --> 00:05:17,130
league.
102
00:05:18,030 --> 00:05:21,430
But she likes you because she thinks you
chipped a tooth in a gang fight, not a
103
00:05:21,430 --> 00:05:22,530
ballet accident.
104
00:05:23,050 --> 00:05:27,730
I can't just lie about who I am. Of
course you can. I lie about who you are
105
00:05:27,730 --> 00:05:28,730
the time.
106
00:05:28,790 --> 00:05:30,530
Well, I'm not going to lie to Amy.
107
00:05:31,510 --> 00:05:33,090
Oh, good. You're still here.
108
00:05:33,410 --> 00:05:34,910
I wanted to give you my e -mail address.
109
00:05:35,530 --> 00:05:40,450
Oh. Um, listen, before you do, I think
you should know that... I have a tattoo
110
00:05:40,450 --> 00:05:42,470
I'd love to show you.
111
00:05:43,050 --> 00:05:44,750
And I shanked a guy in prison.
112
00:05:45,630 --> 00:05:47,570
Yeah, I took no pleasure in it, but
it...
113
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:48,840
Had to be done.
114
00:05:48,940 --> 00:05:53,720
What the... Hey,
115
00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:01,300
Dad. Just talked to Amy. Made plans for
a tête -à -tête.
116
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:02,560
Atta boy.
117
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:05,320
Going right for the tets on the first
date.
118
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:11,820
So, where does Chino, the gang member,
take a lady to impress her? To the Sci
119
00:06:11,820 --> 00:06:13,060
-Fi Film Fest.
120
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:17,560
They're screening Battle for the Planet
of the Apes. Brian, she thinks you're a
121
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:18,740
tough, sexy guy.
122
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,920
Wear your leather jacket and take her to
a club.
123
00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:25,640
Oh, okay. Well, I suppose I could Google
leather club and sexy guys and see if I
124
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:26,579
can find a place.
125
00:06:26,580 --> 00:06:27,580
Great idea.
126
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:29,360
Dinner's ready!
127
00:06:32,820 --> 00:06:34,320
Wait, the table's not set.
128
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:41,840
All right, here's the deal.
129
00:06:42,020 --> 00:06:47,260
I am up for a big job promotion that
would be a dream come true for everyone
130
00:06:47,260 --> 00:06:51,920
this family. So that means... I could
quit my job and become a trophy husband?
131
00:06:52,820 --> 00:06:56,340
You're not as much arm candy as you are
filled with candy.
132
00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:03,280
Anyway, it would mean a lot more money
for everyone in this house, and we all
133
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:06,260
know that money is happiness.
134
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:12,380
I'm invited to dinner at Dr. Holman's
house, and I need everyone to be on
135
00:07:12,380 --> 00:07:13,600
best behavior.
136
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:19,640
Okay. See, that's exactly what I'm
talking about. You have to pretend to be
137
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:24,220
polite little girl. And you need to
pretend that you are a model father who
138
00:07:24,220 --> 00:07:25,940
cares about his children.
139
00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,300
All three of them?
140
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:32,780
And you, no more loser bartender
boyfriend.
141
00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:37,120
For your information, Trey is no longer
a bartender.
142
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:38,640
Did he get fired?
143
00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:39,740
Maybe.
144
00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:41,880
For stealing?
145
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,420
I can't comment on a case that's
ongoing.
146
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,100
Look, I am serious.
147
00:07:47,580 --> 00:07:51,240
I need everyone to be on their best
behavior Saturday night.
148
00:07:52,420 --> 00:07:56,540
Saturday night? I have a party. Yeah,
and I have a date, a really hot date.
149
00:07:56,540 --> 00:07:57,540
seen her. She's real.
150
00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:01,340
Not like that Lara Croft we thought he
was going with.
151
00:08:02,660 --> 00:08:06,920
Walt, you all have to reschedule. Okay,
look, I really want... I got this job.
152
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:10,560
So we're going to go to Dr. Holman to be
a happy, loving family. So shut your
153
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,520
fat mouth or I'll stab everybody in your
slate. Yes, ma 'am.
154
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:15,700
I love you guys.
155
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:22,660
This is such a colossal waste of time.
Hey, we'll have none of that attitude,
156
00:08:22,820 --> 00:08:25,540
Lauren Kathleen Miller, age nine.
157
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,860
You like cotton candy, Barbie dolls, and
roller skating.
158
00:08:29,580 --> 00:08:30,580
That's me.
159
00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:34,980
Well, now it's her. You like hip -hop,
driving, and bartenders.
160
00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:40,120
and a few idiots to pull it together for
one night and then we can go back to
161
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,760
hating each other as much as we want.
162
00:08:42,820 --> 00:08:43,820
Gang's all here.
163
00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:45,940
Hey, Miller family, come on in.
164
00:08:46,180 --> 00:08:47,180
Thank you.
165
00:08:47,540 --> 00:08:50,980
This is my husband, Bill, and our kids,
Brian, Tina, and Lauren.
166
00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:53,700
Quiz me on any of their middle names, I
know them all.
167
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:55,700
It is my wife, Denise.
168
00:08:56,180 --> 00:08:57,780
My middle name is Noreen.
169
00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:00,280
Great, now I just forgot them all.
170
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,180
Thank you, Noreen.
171
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:05,600
Isn't he great?
172
00:09:06,890 --> 00:09:12,810
laugh a lot in our family together as a
family laugh and family
173
00:09:12,810 --> 00:09:19,730
let me take your coat hey are you a math
elite no no no that'll
174
00:09:19,730 --> 00:09:25,750
be little tina yep tina noreen Miller.
Brian's captain of his team. Yeah, we
175
00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:29,830
call ourselves the math magicians. Oh,
we were the algebros.
176
00:09:30,330 --> 00:09:31,330
Hey,
177
00:09:32,010 --> 00:09:34,970
maybe you could give my daughter a hand.
She's been up in her room struggling
178
00:09:34,970 --> 00:09:36,390
with her calculus homework.
179
00:09:36,770 --> 00:09:37,950
Hon, our guests are here.
180
00:09:38,190 --> 00:09:40,390
Brian would be glad to help, wouldn't
you, Brian?
181
00:09:40,610 --> 00:09:42,810
Yeah, sure, I'll help. I'm not afraid of
a little calculus.
182
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,150
I'm your man.
183
00:09:45,790 --> 00:09:46,790
Daddy?
184
00:09:52,270 --> 00:09:57,370
It's nice to meet you here for the first
time. Amy, is it? Yeah, it's nice to
185
00:09:57,370 --> 00:09:59,250
meet you for the first time, too, Brian.
186
00:10:00,150 --> 00:10:02,730
Look at our two families getting along.
187
00:10:04,030 --> 00:10:05,770
Family along.
188
00:10:07,450 --> 00:10:09,750
So, who's up for the grand tour? Follow
me.
189
00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:13,350
Hey, hey, hey.
190
00:10:14,850 --> 00:10:16,030
What a cool lab.
191
00:10:16,230 --> 00:10:18,670
I like with the color scheme and the
matches.
192
00:10:21,170 --> 00:10:24,370
Dad, what am I going to do? I can't act
tough for Amy. Mom wants me to be a nerd
193
00:10:24,370 --> 00:10:25,269
for her boss.
194
00:10:25,270 --> 00:10:29,170
Amy thinks you're only acting like a
nerd because you're with your family.
195
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:32,790
simple. You're a nerd pretending to be a
thug pretending to be a nerd.
196
00:10:33,590 --> 00:10:36,170
I wish my drama coach was here. This is
the toughest role ever.
197
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,190
Try being your father.
198
00:10:40,270 --> 00:10:42,150
For the love of Luke Skywalker?
199
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:45,530
That's right. You're looking at the
fifth.
200
00:10:45,820 --> 00:10:49,480
largest collection of sci -fi
memorabilia in the greater Chicago area.
201
00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:53,800
We don't take vacations, but we have a
time machine that doesn't go anywhere.
202
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:58,560
It's a time helmet, and you can travel
anywhere in your imagination.
203
00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:00,600
That's great, Brian.
204
00:11:00,820 --> 00:11:03,860
You love this stuff. Yeah, you know me.
I love this stuff.
205
00:11:05,660 --> 00:11:06,660
Whatever.
206
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:12,500
And now for the piece de resistance, my
proudest possession in the galaxy.
207
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:21,340
This is an elite replica costume worn by
General Ursus in Planet of the Apes.
208
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:22,500
Whoa.
209
00:11:22,580 --> 00:11:26,620
This baby cost me quite a bundle, but
she's worth it.
210
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,220
And I'm driving a 12 -year -old car.
211
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:32,380
Wow, that's amazing, huh, Brian?
212
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:34,220
Come on, don't get up with the guy.
213
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,460
Why don't you try on the monkey suit?
214
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:40,920
No, no, no, no. It's only been worn by
the actor who originated the role. And
215
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,940
me. I could show you the Christmas card.
216
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,160
You know, Judy and I have a costume
collection, too.
217
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:49,160
Isn't that right, Fraulein?
218
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:53,820
Let's see the rest of the house.
219
00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:59,040
Sorry about my dad. He's such a loser.
220
00:11:59,780 --> 00:12:03,800
Yeah, what a loser. Look, he's got Xenon
and Xenon right beside each other.
221
00:12:03,820 --> 00:12:04,980
Everybody knows they're archenemies.
222
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:10,180
Yeah, can you believe all this crap? I
am this close to taking a sledgehammer
223
00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:11,180
all this junk.
224
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:13,880
Especially that stupid monkey suit.
225
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:19,160
You can't do that. I mean, I'd smash it
up, because I'm scary like that.
226
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:25,060
Yo. But, you know, you've got to live
with the guy, so... Please, I have my
227
00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:26,260
parents full just like you do.
228
00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:29,740
My dad thinks I'm this goody little two
-shoes who still collects stamps.
229
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:31,280
You're a collateralist?
230
00:12:31,540 --> 00:12:32,540
A what?
231
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:33,960
Stamp stock.
232
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,620
Rare and precious as they may be.
233
00:12:38,990 --> 00:12:41,430
Well, how about I show you something
even more precious?
234
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:46,390
Wait, Amy, I think there's something you
should know.
235
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,030
But first, one more.
236
00:12:50,790 --> 00:12:51,870
Wow, that's good.
237
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:56,230
Anyway, I have to tell you... Why don't
you tell me in my room?
238
00:12:56,470 --> 00:13:00,750
No, no, I need... in your room? Wait
five minutes, then head on up.
239
00:13:01,510 --> 00:13:02,690
Don't let anyone see you.
240
00:13:05,330 --> 00:13:07,290
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh,
my God.
241
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:14,600
So beautiful, that soft hair,
unforgettable face.
242
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,040
You will be mine, General Ursus.
243
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,320
You will be mine.
244
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:27,900
So every night at bedtime, I read to
Tina for at least a half hour.
245
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:29,120
You do?
246
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,580
Of course you do, honey.
247
00:13:31,820 --> 00:13:35,180
You just fall asleep because books are
so boring.
248
00:13:36,940 --> 00:13:39,800
You guys are such good people and so
much fun.
249
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:45,860
You know, I don't like to let business
intrude on family time, but I'm going to
250
00:13:45,860 --> 00:13:50,460
talk to Dr. Gerber on Monday morning
about you coming to work for me.
251
00:13:50,860 --> 00:13:53,780
Oh, thank you so much, Doctor. That'd be
great.
252
00:13:54,020 --> 00:13:55,220
I'll go check on dinner.
253
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:56,500
Oh, God.
254
00:13:56,980 --> 00:13:58,420
We did it! We did it!
255
00:14:15,210 --> 00:14:17,930
doing here? Lauren, I've been trying to
call you all day. Why haven't you been
256
00:14:17,930 --> 00:14:20,830
answering your phone? Because I took it.
She's not allowed to see you.
257
00:14:21,210 --> 00:14:22,510
How did you find me?
258
00:14:22,790 --> 00:14:25,270
Oh, I tailed your minivan and then I hid
in the bushes when you went inside.
259
00:14:27,550 --> 00:14:29,430
Stalking us? That is totally crazy.
260
00:14:29,810 --> 00:14:31,210
I'm totally sweet.
261
00:14:32,890 --> 00:14:34,090
Oh, hi. Who's this?
262
00:14:34,430 --> 00:14:35,570
Oh, hey, Trey.
263
00:14:35,890 --> 00:14:37,230
I'm Lauren's boyfriend. Cousin.
264
00:14:39,570 --> 00:14:40,670
Her boy cousin.
265
00:14:40,950 --> 00:14:42,070
Isn't that right, Trey?
266
00:14:42,570 --> 00:14:44,650
Dude, I'll be anything if you let me
stay.
267
00:14:46,430 --> 00:14:47,770
We're very close.
268
00:14:48,870 --> 00:14:51,590
I hope it's okay that I invited him.
269
00:14:51,810 --> 00:14:53,070
Not a problem. Welcome.
270
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:56,010
Hey, can I get you something to drink?
How about I get you something?
271
00:14:56,350 --> 00:14:58,230
Who's up for Alabama Slammers? Me!
272
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,650
Dinner is almost ready. Thank God.
273
00:15:01,970 --> 00:15:03,670
Has anyone seen Amy and Brian?
274
00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:07,850
Brian must be in the other room. Bill,
why don't you go get him?
275
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,320
The only good human is a dead human.
276
00:15:18,060 --> 00:15:21,200
I'm going out on a limb here, Brian.
277
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:23,560
Hey, Dad. What are you doing?
278
00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:26,320
I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. It's a
once -in -a -lifetime chance.
279
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,100
So is Amy. Where is she?
280
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,200
Upstairs, waiting for me.
281
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:33,140
And you're down here in a bear costume?
282
00:15:33,460 --> 00:15:37,020
I'm an ape. A damn dirty ape.
283
00:15:38,460 --> 00:15:41,480
You get upstairs to that girl. I'll tell
everyone you're helping her with
284
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:44,760
homework. And don't you dare help her
with homework.
285
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,380
Ow, ow, ow. Dad, Dad, it won't come off.
286
00:15:49,660 --> 00:15:52,520
Okay, just let me give it a good tug.
287
00:15:52,860 --> 00:15:53,860
Ow, ow.
288
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,360
What is going on in here?
289
00:15:56,860 --> 00:16:00,360
Take off that Teen Wolf costume before
Dr. Holman catches you.
290
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,000
Everybody calm down.
291
00:16:03,340 --> 00:16:04,420
I'll handle this.
292
00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:06,100
Hey, come here.
293
00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:07,420
All right.
294
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:08,920
On the count of three.
295
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,200
One, two, three.
296
00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:16,820
Oh, God.
297
00:16:17,380 --> 00:16:22,560
What are you doing violating my costume?
And look at my collection.
298
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:27,140
It was an accident. How dare you people
destroy my husband's precious
299
00:16:27,140 --> 00:16:28,140
collection?
300
00:16:30,020 --> 00:16:31,640
I know how to fix this.
301
00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:36,240
I'm going back in time one hour.
302
00:16:38,570 --> 00:16:42,010
Oh, how do I go back in time to just
before this happened?
303
00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:44,730
Oh, my God.
304
00:16:45,590 --> 00:16:49,950
I told you to trash the place and you
actually did it.
305
00:16:51,130 --> 00:16:52,130
Wait,
306
00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:56,550
you two know each other? That's right,
Dad. She knows my boyfriend.
307
00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:58,130
Oh, and he's in a gang.
308
00:16:59,490 --> 00:17:02,270
Wait a minute. This is the girl you've
been seeing?
309
00:17:02,690 --> 00:17:04,349
Judy, you knew about this?
310
00:17:04,569 --> 00:17:07,290
Yeah, but I didn't... You need to go.
All of you.
311
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:12,040
I'm sorry, but I don't think working for
me is such a good idea. And you, you
312
00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:14,800
hoodlum. Stay away from my collection.
313
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,040
And my daughter. Mainly my daughter.
314
00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:20,060
But I love him.
315
00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:26,560
You can't love him. I will not allow it.
Let me explain.
316
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:34,200
Amy, I lied to you. I was never in
juvie. I don't drive a hog.
317
00:17:35,790 --> 00:17:40,170
I'm embarrassed to say that I don't deal
crystal meth.
318
00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:42,390
Then why would you tell me all that?
319
00:17:42,790 --> 00:17:46,970
Because I wanted to impress you. And the
truth is, I didn't smash up your dad's
320
00:17:46,970 --> 00:17:48,350
collection because I hate sci -fi.
321
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:51,470
I did it because I couldn't resist.
322
00:17:51,890 --> 00:17:53,090
Because I love sci -fi.
323
00:17:53,690 --> 00:17:57,170
Please, you're just saying that to get
your mom's job back. No, it's the truth.
324
00:17:57,270 --> 00:18:02,730
Listen, the fact is, I'm a bigger sci
-fi geek than you.
325
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:04,100
All right.
326
00:18:04,140 --> 00:18:06,660
You don't even know the first law of
robotics.
327
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:11,300
A robot may not harm a human being or
through inaction allow a human being to
328
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,540
come to harm. Everybody knows that.
329
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:14,740
All right, then.
330
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,460
How many Star Trek episodes feature
tribbles?
331
00:18:17,780 --> 00:18:20,080
Two. The trouble with tribbles and more
tribbles, more troubles.
332
00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:25,140
What was the name of Luke Skywalker's
gunner on the ice planet Hoth?
333
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,400
Dak. Duh.
334
00:18:28,460 --> 00:18:31,880
Name all 11 Doctor Whos. I can't. Aha.
335
00:18:32,350 --> 00:18:34,850
Because it's a trick question. There are
only ten Doctor Whos.
336
00:18:36,670 --> 00:18:38,210
You are a nerd.
337
00:18:39,670 --> 00:18:41,330
You know, geekiest charge.
338
00:18:41,750 --> 00:18:42,750
Geekiest charge.
339
00:18:45,050 --> 00:18:46,050
So,
340
00:18:46,890 --> 00:18:48,110
uh, are we good here?
341
00:18:49,190 --> 00:18:50,490
Am I still your new assistant?
342
00:18:50,950 --> 00:18:53,590
How could I say no when you have a kid
like this?
343
00:18:53,830 --> 00:18:57,810
I'll see you Monday, Judy. And you can
see this fine young man whenever you
344
00:18:57,810 --> 00:18:58,629
want, sweetie.
345
00:18:58,630 --> 00:18:59,630
Yeah, I don't think so.
346
00:19:03,399 --> 00:19:06,260
Well, let's put all this behind us and
have a nice dinner.
347
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:08,580
I wonder where Lauren is with her
cousin.
348
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,420
Looks like second base.
349
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:22,300
Denise, that was a great dinner.
350
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:23,680
Any more of that roast left?
351
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,860
Not a scrap. We ate every bit of it.
352
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:27,280
I think I left something in here.
353
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,980
Denise made a delicious pot roast.
354
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:49,920
It works.
355
00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:55,180
No, you idiot. There's no such thing as
time travel.
356
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,400
Let's go.
357
00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:14,640
I wouldn't have it any other...
358
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:16,760
Because you make me...
28281
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.