Original subtitles

On the bus is number one, part one, production number 0157, recording date

14269, take one.

Over it, I think.

Morning, Mum.

Hello, love.

Oh, these new schedules of murder, aren't they?

Don't you happen to get up this time in the morning?

No morning papers?

Look at that, even Tony Blackburn ain't up.

There's your breakfast.

Eat it up.

I'm not going to eat it in my socks, Mum.

Where's my shoes? I put them here last night. I've got them here.

They're in the oven to keep warm.

I don't know what they wanted to order them for.

It was all right as they were. Oh!

Are you all right?

Yeah, next time give me another five minutes of number six and send a recipe

Jimmy Young.

Now, look here, Stan.

You're going right through the soul again.

I can't help that. It's the brake pedal that does it. Well, you shouldn't press

it down so hard.

Don't be dot. If I don't press it down so hard, I'll go right through a brick

wall.

Come on, come on, eat up your breakfast.

You're looking very pale, you know. Oh, turn it in, will you? Just the same when

you was a lad. Always, always pale -faced and thin. Mum, mum, can I have a

of tea, please?

Yes, of course, of course. Thank you.

There we are.

Just because you're on the early shift, you don't have to get the whole house

older. Me and Ollie have been up since five o 'clock.

Oh, I'm sorry about that.

Oh, you needn't have bothered to come down. Sam would have got you a nice cup

tea. He married my sister, not me.

Yeah, well, since I'm up, I'll have me breakfast. Well, you'll have to wait,

dear. I've got to get Stan's lunch ready first.

Stan's lunch?

I thought you always ate in the canteen. I did, but with these new schedules,

I'm never back in the depot in time.

You stand for that.

Every man who's in top of a canteen facility is your union. Should have done

something about it. They did.

They agreed.

I suppose you was... I suppose you was too frightened to stand up at the

and say anything.

Oh, no, I wasn't. Why don't you speak up for yourself?

I wasn't there.

It was my bingo night.

Typical. No wonder the unions are getting infiltrated. You should have

evening with your brother members.

I did. We had more at the bingo hall than we had at the meeting.

That is disgraceful.

I pride myself on the fact that I've never missed a union meeting. Twelve

I've been treasurer of the railway union and every member comes to every

meeting. With you as treasurer, I'm not surprised.

Are you trying to suggest that I'm not? No, no, no, no, no.

Here, they smell nice.

I'll have a couple of open sausages for my breakfast. Oh, I'm sorry, there's no

more left. These are for Stan's lunch.

I don't like cold bangers, Mum.

Oh, you're not going to have them cold, love.

I'm putting them in the thermos.

See? How the hell am I supposed to get them out there?

Oh, don't worry. Pour them on a plate or something.

Well, have you got any bacon? I'll pray not. He'll use that for sandwiches.

Here, Harper.

Try a bit of fried bread.

Fried bread? That's no good for a working man.

Working man?

You're a working man?

A booking clerk at Crossley Junction? Three trains a day, two of them

The amount of work you get through, mate, you could survive on a cream

Well, I suppose I can fill up with cornflakes. Hey, where's the milk, Mum?

dear, I am sorry.

Finished. Not Stan's lunch again.

Oh, no.

Rusty's breakfast. Come on, love.

You'll have to wait till the milkman comes.

Time for walking.

Morning, Olive.

Morning, Mum.

How are you?

Not very well. I had a terrible night. Oh, dear, I'm sorry.

Oh, God, here we go again.

Morning, Dan.

Oh, come on, say good morning to your sister.

Morning, Olive.

Coughing better?

She had me awake all night with that chest of hers, weaving and puffing away.

I've been in bed with a steam engine.

Watch it, love, watch it. You'll burst your boiler.

Stop, Barty. Well, it's murder, Mum. Well, it can't help it. All this carry

about her wheezes.

It's only when she breathes.

That's right, love. You take the soup. It'll do you good.

It's always the same when there was children.

You know, mine too. Always have a fun week, Chet. That reminds me. Have you

your vest on? Yes, I have. Leave me alone.

There you are. Now you've got a cough now. Come on, you'd better have some of

this creosote.

Creosote wipes out coughs. It wipes out dry, rotten oil.

Don't take that from me, mate. I'm telling you.

I get poisoned up from the cab fumes without having to take that. And God,

at the time. I'll be late, Mum. I'll have to borrow your bike, Olive.

Here, wait a minute.

Here's your lunch. All right.

Here you are.

Here's your sandwiches. Here's your banners.

That's it.

And there's your tea. Oh, don't do that. It leaks.

That's it.

Tell our mum I've got to go now. Here, wait.

Here's your tea.

Oh, better not drink that.

Only on the number 11 route, I've got nowhere to stop.

There's a stop in the middle of the I Street.

I didn't mean that. I mean, if I drink too much liquid, it goes right... Oh,

never mind.

Here comes our new clippy.

Oh, why don't you race like some?

Why don't you felt up, mate?

Yeah, come on, hurry up and sign in. We'll do out in a minute.

Yeah, all right, then.

Of course, here we are.

All right, mate, all right.

These new schedules are murder, aren't they? Oh, murder.

I don't know what they want in Waterloo for.

Yeah, watch out, here comes the Gestapo.

You're not frightened of him, are you? I'm surprised at you, Jack.

Me, I'd, uh... Oh.

Get in the bus.

I'm just getting in there, Inspector.

Don't go and put all that stuff in the cab like that. It could cause a nasty

accident. Put it under the steer, Jack.

Come on, give us here.

Watch it, watch it.

You'll spill me sausages.

I suppose you have studied the news schedule, have you? You know the news

and timing and stages and turnarounds and change points and all that? Credit

with a better sense, will you, to mug it up.

I know the route.

Drive away.

Hey, Jack. What? Where are we going?

Number 11, Cemetery Gates via High Street.

back at 11 .33, you're 17 minutes late. Yeah, I reckon it's very good. The way I

worked it out, I'd be 25 minutes late.

These new schedules of murder.

Here, I'll stand. Here's your lunch. Thanks, Jack.

You know you're due out at 11 .59, don't you? Hear that? 11 .59, and the

flipping canteen don't open till 12 o 'clock. Where am I supposed to eat my

grub, eh? Where am I supposed to sit?

You can use the branch provided, can't you?

Charming, eh?

Look, Jack, I've just come out of a warm cab.

I'm not eating my grub in this draughty shed. Well, get back in the cab, then.

Why didn't I think of that? Good idea, Jack.

See,

he's gone off the cab now.

They are.

What's the matter?

Stopper gone in?

I can't get my sausages out.

What are you doing?

Trying to suck them out.

Now I've got it.

Right.

It's freezing cold in this cab.

Well, turn the engine on and warm the cab up.

Yeah, why didn't I think of that?

And you can have... We'll talk about the cars. You tell the time now, then.

Of course I can. Right.

What's it say?

11 .52. Right.

You want to go out until 11 .59?

I'm not going out until 11 .59.

Well, will you switch the engine on for me?

It's golden here. Call your cabber.

Switch that off at once.

What do you think you're sitting here? You're wasting the company's fuel light.

Switch it off. He's having his lunch in comfort.

Lunch? That's a cab for driving and not for eating in. Get out of there right

away. Come on. What do you think you're on, mate?

That's a fuss on a mobile canteen. Get back in there, Stan.

If the management won't open the canteen till 12 o 'clock, you can stay now.

You get down out there at once.

I could report you now. It could be two weeks suspension.

That's nice, isn't it?

Intimidation. Yeah.

That's lovely.

Take my notice, then.

He can't intimidate you.

Oh, yes, he can. Get down.

Get back in. Get down.

Get in.

Get down. Get in. You get off. It's a matter of principle.

I'd better phone our union office. Now, Jack, don't bring the union into this.

No, you're right. They'll never help. Right, we've got to settle this

Are you going to get out of there, aren't you?

Don't you dare get out.

I'll go and see the general manager then, won't I?

Right.

He's been told between his legs, ain't he, Jack?

Come on then, get out.

Get out.

What are you talking about? Come on, what do you think you're doing? Get out.

You just told me to get back in. That was when the inspector told you to get

out, but now I... I'm telling you to get out, and I'm the shop steward, and I'm

convening a meeting, so get out.

What about my lunch?

Say, people, what's the point of having new schedules if we have to suffer?

Brother Stan here has been threatened by an inspector.

He has been intimidated for eating his lunch in his cab because the management

wouldn't open the canteen till 12 o 'clock.

I put it to you, brothers.

No canteen, no buses.

Right, let's take a vote on it. Signify in the usual manner all those in favour.

We are unanimous, aren't we?

Thank you.

Right, motion carried.

We are withdrawing our labour forthwith.

Here, can I have my lunch now?

Hi, Mum.

Hello, Stan.

What are you doing back so early?

What's happened?

Nothing. I'm on strike.

On strike?

Yeah. Ah.

Oh, so that's why there was no bus in.

Oh, really, I do think you might have told us.

Me and Olive, we was walking two miles in the pouring rain.

We couldn't tell you. It happened so quickly.

It's what's called a lightning strike.

Now, Stan, Stan, don't tell me you couldn't get the men to hold up the

for your mum.

They wouldn't hold it up for Frank Cousin's mum.

Huh? Well, the dockers do.

That one in 18. You know number 18? His mum, she always gets her meeting before

the strike.

And last year?

A Christmas nuts also.

My hair's ruined!

Now, Stan, do you hear that cough?

I can hear it. Sounds a lot better to me.

You'll feel much better after a cup of tea.

Now, look, Stan, I bought some of those lovely fairy cakes.

Get them out, will you? Just a minute, Rusty. Are they all right? They're not

wet, are they?

Wet? I don't know. My mind hasn't had a look in the bag yet.

Well, I'll tell you, a little bit damp.

Here.

Your paper bag's had it, hasn't it?

Wait a minute. Hang on.

Oh.

Careful of the bulb.

I don't know about that, Al, but look at mine. That's not bad, is it?

Oh, I can't eat that.

Well, it's no different than when you dip it in your tea.

Don't talk like that.

Well, let's face it, it ends up in your stomach, doesn't it?

Oh. Hey, come here.

Oh, is that the front door?

Is that you, Arthur?

There's a bus strike. Have you heard?

Yes, I have heard.

You busmen ought to be shot striking on a wet day like this.

Well, it's the best time to strike, isn't it? Rainy days and Christmases.

They've always taught us that.

So prudent of us.

I'm sorry.

You are in a state, aren't you?

Stopping. Oh, no.

Never mind, dear.

How did you get so wet?

Standing in a bus stop for an hour, waiting for a bus.

Well, that was daft, wasn't it? Well, that was hard to know you were on

Well, standing in a bus stop for an hour, nothing comes along. Blimey, you

have thought something had gone wrong. Well, you lot run the buses. We thought

it was normal service.

Now, listen here, mate. Oh, you busmen are a lot of layabouts.

Yeah. I'd like to meet the bloke who started it.

Would you?

Well, as a matter of fact, mate. Because when I do, I knock his block off. Who

was it?

out on strike? They didn't. We did it ourselves.

Oh, so it's unofficial.

I suppose you know you'll get no strike pay.

Stan, is that right?

No wages?

Won't there be no money coming in? That's right. It could be out for

a single penny.

Olive, have you heard that?

Oh, Mum, don't worry. Look here, Stan, what are we going to do for money? We've

got nothing behind us.

I've just paid all the rates and the phone due and the HP.

Well, you'll have to tell the men you want to go back.

Don't waste your breath, Mum. The ruddy telly will go back before he does.

It wouldn't hurt you to pay a few instalments on it for a change.

And on the fridge, I paid that for the last two years.

Oh, we can't let them take the fridge back, can we? Oh, let them take it back.

We won't have nothing to put in it if we could all starve to death as far as he

cares. Well, we'll just have to live on our office money, won't we?

Then we will starve.

No, it just means I shall have to start watching every penny. Start?

Blimey, you never stopped.

Well, at least he's going to work tomorrow.

Yeah, more than you, sitting around doing nothing.

I won't be sitting around doing nothing, mate.

I'll be lying in bed.

Lying in bed? All day long? No, only till the pub's open.

It's great being on strike.

No wonder it's catching on.

Hang on, I'll get it off.

Hello? No, it's me, Stan.

Oh, hello, Jack.

Strike committee.

Big deal.

Yeah?

Oh, God, no.

When?

What time?

They want me on picket duty.

Oh, well, it's only right, isn't it?

Yeah, but I've got to be there at half past five in the morning. That means

have to be up by half past four.

Hardly worth going to bed, is it?

Olive, I'll have to use your bike. Oh, no, you won't. I shall need a bike to

to work myself, shall I?

How am I going to get on picket duty?

Up on a bus.

Here, Jack, I'm fed up with this. We've been standing here for five hours and

nobody's even tried to get in.

You've never even tried to start up a bus. Oh, you never know what the

management will get up to.

I've got to show them we're solid.

I'm not all right. I can't even straighten my fingers.

Oh, here.

When are we going to knock off for lunch?

Knock off for lunch?

Look, we do an eight -hour shift non -stop.

Wait up, Sam. Here comes your mother.

Look, we don't want no interference from the women.

She's probably passing. She'll be all right.

Sam, I had to come and see you all.

Right. I brought you a few things. I swore before you, Mum, it's an half

here. I know. That's why I brought you an extra pair of warm socks and hot

bottles. Dan, your mother is making us look ridiculous. Yeah, she won't be long

yet. Here you are. Some nice hot tea and some warm buns.

Some warm buns. Lovely. Oh, that's very nice, yeah.

Don't eat those yet. You'll make yourself look ridiculous.

Here's some cherry lint just in case the cold goes down to your chest. Look,

look. There's some brutes coming across the street with a camera.

I know what they want.

We're from the TV news. We'd like a few shots for tonight's programme, OK?

Oh, yes, that'll be all right, yeah. We need publicity, that's OK, isn't it?

Yeah, I reckon it's all right, yeah.

Yeah, I think you look a bit pale.

Don't you think you ought to have some make -up on? Shut up, ma 'am. Well, they

all do.

The Queen and Mr Wilson.

Well, he probably borrows Barbara Carter's powder puff.

Well, I think you'll be all right.

Now, wait a minute. I've got a bit of lipstick here. That'll help anyway. Come

on. No.

Turn it, and you might make me look a fool.

Now, listen.

They've started up one of the busses.

They're going to take it through the back gate. Here, quick. We've got to

them. Here, hold that, Mum. Hold this.

I don't want that. Here, stand. Wait for me, stand.

It's the inspectors. They're bringing the bus out. No.

Ruddy strike breakers.

Scum! Scum!

Blackleg! Blackleg! Look at all of it.

Yeah, we'll have to stop it.

How are we going to do that, Jack? Lie down.

Lie down? Yeah, lie down in front of the bus.

Who, him?

No, you.

Yes, you. Me.

Me?

Just a minute, Jack. Hang on, hang on. I just thought of something.

Why don't you lie down there? No, no.

I'm the committee leader.

I've got to negotiate with him. Now, come on, lie down. Quick, lie down

he gets by.

I'd rather lie down after it's gone by. Besides, he might not stop.

No, well, we're getting for manslaughter.

I'd love to see those inspectors inside.

Yeah, and so would I. But he might not know how to drive that thing.

Because I don't know that bus, the dodgy great. Here, come on, quick.

This is ridiculous.

I feel like everything.

Oh, my, oh, my, my.

Sam, what are you doing down there? You're rolling a suit. You leave him

It's raining, he'll catch his death. Come on, come on, cut all his chub for

Get out of here.

Don't you kick my son.

He ain't done you no harm, have he? All right, all right. All right, go on,

that's all. That's all.

Stay there all night, if you like.

I say, just a minute.

Let's have a shot.

Oh, and how do you want me?

There. I say, what's that red stain on your coat?

What stain?

It's blood, Mum!

It's blood!

Are you sure?

It's just what we wanted. We'll have a wall out now.

Blood? You've been injured.

Don't get up. Stay there.

Are you all right, love? Are you all right? I don't know, ma 'am.

One minute.

No, don't panic. Don't panic.

That rotten cherry syrup you got there was for you. Oh, damn.

Focus on the blood.

Don't panic, Mike. Listen.

What? What is it?

Oh. Oh, yes.

Yes, blood.

You're all right by now, aren't you?

It's very unsettled.

And now the regional news.

Hey, hurry up, Mum. I'm on.

All right, I'm all right. I'm coming. Come on, I've got a chair here. Sit

That's it. Sit down. I'll bet they won't even bother to show it. No,

what's that then? Hey, what's that?

Hey. Hey, look, Mum, that's me.

Well, all you can see is your backside.

Well, it's very nice.

Yeah.

As the unofficial Luxembourg District bus track moved into its second day,

was drama at the bus depot when driver Stan Butler threw himself in front of

bus. to prevent it being taken out and was slightly injured.

What a ruddy fraud!

Shit!

Hey,

is that me?

Yes, love.

Oh, something's gone wrong. My face looks all fat.

Oh. That's because your face is all fat. Ah, shut up. There's something wrong

with the set, that's what it is.

That makes you look a lot better. Shut up. A smile, look.

Oh, yes, a smile. Yes, we've got it. Oh, yes, a lovely smile, that is.

You shouldn't have bothered.

I asked Dan Butler if he thought his courageous action was justified.

For a better end.

You know what, that's about it.

Here, who's that stupid woman?

It's you.

Oh, yes, so it is, yes.

Well, all right, Burke, you made it yourself. What are you talking about?

Oh, I think it was very nice. I know. Really.

It's a pity your teeth are so crooked, though, love.

Well, didn't notice much, did it, hon? Well, I don't know.

Do you think it would be too late to wear a brace?

Well, you and your pals will have to give in now. The management certainly

after that little lot. Well, at least I've been on telly. So have the

Oh, here, the buses are coming on. Look, the buses, look. Here we are.

And here is a newsflash.

We've just heard that after a long meeting and in view of the injuries

by driver Stan Butler, the hero of the day, the management have agreed to the

busman's demands in order to avoid further bloodshed. Oh, Dan, you've won.

You've won. And all because of you, they give in. Yeah.

So I'm a Burke, am I?

Well, I'll tell you what, Arthur. I reckon from now on, I can tackle

Well, you can start right away.

Very well, Mum.

Tackle the washing up.

We've got a deep matter, fellas. We've won, haven't we?

We taught the management a thing or two. Now we know how to get what we want,

don't we?

Come on, Stan. Come on, Jack.

You're due out in two minutes. Get in the bus. Hold your air on. Hold your air

on. We're the bosses now, you know.

Oh, yes? Yeah.

Oh, well, in that case, you'd better send out for your smoked salmon and

for your lunches then, hadn't you?

What do you mean?

Take a look.

Blimey, they can't either go on strike now.

That's a dead liberty, that is.

Never mind, Jack, we can't do anything about it. Oh, can't we?

What do you mean? Not one bus leaves this depot until we get our grub.

Well, how are we going to do that, then? Lie down in front of the bus.

That's it, lie down in front of the bus. Wait a minute! No!