Original subtitles

You seem happy. Oh, why not?

It's the Christmas season, and I just landed a holiday job.

Oh, what's the job?

I'm going to be a rapper.

Get out of here. You can't even carry a tune.

No, not rap.

Rap. I'm working down at the mall, wrapping Christmas presents.

I'm surprised anyone's going to let you handle breakables.

Oh, yes, I like, I like.

Thanks.

Touch it and spend Christmas in a body cast.

Well, I wouldn't think of it. It's absolute perfection.

Well, except for that little bear spot right there. Don't touch it.

Oh, but Laura... Don't touch it.

Really, it's right here. Steve, I know where you sleep.

Well, look, I know you're worried that I'm going to hurt your precious little

house, but please give me some credit.

Please don't. Look what

you

did.

There you go.

There you go. We got it in there. All righty. Not too far.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

All right, wait a minute. Okay.

Maneuver a little bit. All right.

Just get that door.

All right. There you go.

She's a beauty, huh? Yeah.

And I want to thank you for letting me cut this tree off your property. Oh, no

problem, Carl.

That'll be $69 .95.

Hey, where are you going?

Oh.

Never kid with a man on a budget. Oh, sorry.

Here we go.

Okay.

Wow.

It's my Christmas gift. Oh, man. To you and your family. Thank you, Willie.

That's beautiful.

Yeah. Hey, uh, did you get your gift from Commissioner Geis?

He handed it to me personally.

Me too.

Wait a minute.

I'm captain. Shouldn't mine be bigger?

Well, maybe he took looks in the account.

You want to see what's inside?

No, I'd like to wait till Christmas.

Fudge.

What a cheapskate.

After all the work we've done, all the overtime putting our lives on the line,

and what does the commissioner give us? A lousy, stinking piece of fudge. You

want a piece?

Give me the nutty part.

Well, I got to get to earn my fudge.

I want to thank you. Hey, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Hi,

hon. Oh.

Congratulate me. What?

I did all my Christmas shopping in one day.

Hey, congratulations.

And you fit every gift in that little bag.

Oh, no.

No, these are the receipts.

Oh. Chuck's bringing the gifts later.

But, Paul, I only have one more person to buy for.

Who? Steve.

Oh, don't worry about it.

Just give Steve some cheese or something with eight legs, and he's happy as a

clam.

Richard, did I ever tell you how...

wonderful and generous Mr.

and Mrs. Winslow are, God broke the mold when he made those fine people.

Give it up, Free J.

I already got you a present.

Well, you cannot blame my brother for trying.

Oh, Richie.

Great news.

Your mom called today, and Helen's feeling better, and so she's gonna be

for Christmas.

Really?

best Christmas ever!

Yes!

Well,

that's the lights.

Ma, I spoke to Dr. Fleming. He said he can't play Santa at the mall, so you're

gonna have to find somebody else.

Oh, great.

Well, what lame excuse did he give this time?

Something about a heart transplant.

Oh.

He's doing one?

Mm -mm.

Gee, honey, that's really terrible.

Where are you going to find another sinner this short notice?

Merry Christmas. Yeah, hi.

Yeah. Yeah, hi. How are you?

It's Christmas.

Kids don't want to see a sad, sad Santa. They want to see a happy, perky Santa.

Pack it up, Carl.

Mom!

Mom!

Mom, do I really have to wear this stupid outfit?

Oh, honey, you look adorable.

Mom, the whole world is going to see me dressed like this. Oh, honey, nobody

will care.

have any keebler cookies nice bells they look great with your pointy shoes oh

what's the matter take it easy sorry girl i feel i look like a fool in this

outfit no you don't you just look like the eighth dwarf dorky

well that's one less christmas gift i got to buy

See you later.

Hey!

There's Chee and Mrs. Claus!

No, son.

That is Mrs. Claus.

She's just in civilian clothing.

Is number 20 ready yet?

Oh, just finished it. Well, it's about time.

Well, excuse me. What?

That's $6 .95.

Huh?

Uh, Stephen, you just gave that package away.

She scared me.

Listen, Sugar Plum, you rap very well, but we can't afford to spend an hour and

a half for a gift. Remember, we're paid per package.

But Snow Globe, each package is like a work of art. And art can't be rushed.

And when your art starts hurting our honeymoon fun, I have to put my foot

What would you like for Christmas?

I wasn't sure how you organized your inventory, so I cross -referenced my

by manufacturer's name, product code, and suggested retail price.

But first, let's review last year's list.

What do you think? I have the answer. I have the answer.

The ribbon from number eight.

Yes, I love that.

You like? I think you would.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Here we go.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Use number two.

Number two, right. Okay, all right. It is an extra if I use different

combinations, right?

No.

customer. Now make her pick a sample and move on.

But Ira, the customer has to be happy.

That attitude and your snail's pace will send us to the poorhouse.

A spear.

And remember, volume, volume, volume.

Yes, I know, I know, I know.

You know what?

Um, I've changed my mind.

I'm gonna take that back.

It's really coming down out there. Yep, looks like we're going to have a white

Christmas tomorrow.

You have any trouble getting home?

Oh, no, not on my snowmobile.

Hey, CJ, let's go make a snowman.

No way.

Snowball fight. You and me.

You're on, man.

Oh, Richie.

Your mom called.

Great. When is she coming?

Oh, honey, I got bad news. The Detroit airport was snowed in, so she's not

to be able to make it.

I'm sorry, sweetie.

Your mom loves you very, very much, and she'd do anything to be with you.

We'll have a wonderful Christmas anyway.

Thanks, Grandma, but without my mom, it won't be Christmas.

Stop hurrying. Well, thank you. It's beautiful.

Did you remember to take off the price tag?

Yes, I do.

Well, Brian, I suppose you have a long list of presents, huh?

Oh, no. I just want one thing.

Oh, really? What is it? A new bike? A jet ski?

A computer?

No.

I want a job for my dad.

A job for your dad?

Yeah. He's not too happy right now.

He really needs one. He's pretending everything's okay.

But I know it bothers him.

You think you could get him a job, Santa? I want him to be happy for

Well, Brian, I'll tell you what.

You give this car to your dad.

This guy, he's a personal friend of mine. His name is Carl Winslow. Nice

Good looking, too.

But he probably could help your dad.

You think so?

Oh, I know so, Brian.

Thanks, Santa. You're welcome.

Hey!

Where's 37?

37? Where's 36?

How?

I'm moving as fast as I can, Myra. Well, kick it in the hide, baby.

This

is

a mess.

I'm not paying for this.

Take your present and blow.

You and your loudmouthed wife are holding up the line.

Shut up. You want a piece of me, Christmas boy?

It's not going to be the same without my mom watching.

Where's Eddie?

Oh, he left a note on the Christmas tree. He had to pick up a gift.

On Christmas Day?

Only thing open at 7 -Eleven. I guess I'm getting the same thing I got last

year. A Slurpee.

Hey, I declare open season on all presents.

Carl, Harry, wait.

I'm going to get you your gift from me.

Here it is.

What is that?

Steve,

it's beautiful.

Thank you.

Well, I know how much you love things, so I just knew it would make the perfect

gift. Well, you know something, Steve?

There was only one thing wrong with this photograph.

What's that?

You're not in it.

Oh, darn.

You're going to make me fall like a baby.

I need tissue.

What? I didn't get Steve anything.

What? We've got to give him something.

That's first for Commissioner Geist.

Here's something for you.

For joy, Steve, for joy.

Hey, son.

Hey, now, Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Merry Christmas, baby.

Eddie, where have you been?

Didn't you read my note, Mom?

I had to pick up a present.

Then where is he?

Right here.

Eddie drove all night to get me so I could be here with you today.

This is great.

I thought you weren't going to make it.

Honey, the way Eddie drove, I didn't think so either.

Oh, Rachel.

Oh, Rachel. How did you make it all the way to Detroit in this blizzard? Easy.

I tailgated a snow plow.

Thank you, Eddie.

Hey, man.

It wouldn't be Christmas if the whole family wasn't here now, would it?

Hey, Eddie.

Thank you.

Oh, that's nice. That is wonderful.

Oh, that's nice.

Oh, holy night.

The stars are brightly shining.

It is the night of our day.