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1
00:00:10,250 --> 00:00:11,870
Something smells nasty.
2
00:00:14,310 --> 00:00:15,330
What is that?
3
00:00:16,070 --> 00:00:18,230
It's a new sandwich spread I've
invented.
4
00:00:18,530 --> 00:00:21,970
It's called I Can't Believe It's Not
Squee.
5
00:00:22,530 --> 00:00:27,490
It should be called I Can't Believe
You're Actually Eating That Mess.
6
00:00:28,710 --> 00:00:29,710
You're lost.
7
00:00:29,850 --> 00:00:30,850
More for me.
8
00:00:31,590 --> 00:00:32,590
Hey,
9
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:38,730
son. I got incredible news.
10
00:00:38,950 --> 00:00:41,210
What? Halle Berry, turn my phone call.
11
00:00:42,530 --> 00:00:45,650
No, I'm talking about something that
could happen on this planet.
12
00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:51,350
Well, you know, tomorrow, your mother
and I celebrate our 23rd wedding
13
00:00:51,350 --> 00:00:54,150
anniversary. Forget it, Dad. I'm not
chipping in this time.
14
00:00:55,770 --> 00:00:57,150
No, no, no, no.
15
00:00:57,350 --> 00:00:59,570
This time I've made extra special plans.
16
00:00:59,950 --> 00:01:01,150
Cool. What'd you do?
17
00:01:01,450 --> 00:01:03,690
Well, first, you have to swear not to
say a word.
18
00:01:03,890 --> 00:01:06,190
Okay. I won't. And if you do...
19
00:01:06,860 --> 00:01:11,280
May your tongue swell up to the size of
a football, and may all your hair fall
20
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,480
out. Come on, Dad, not the hair.
21
00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:18,080
Well, I'm serious, son. I want this to
be a complete surprise.
22
00:01:18,580 --> 00:01:20,580
Okay, I swear I won't tell Mom.
23
00:01:20,940 --> 00:01:26,800
Now, it took some doing, but I actually
scored two bunch of boxes at the Bears
24
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,760
-Packers game tomorrow at Soldier Field.
25
00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:31,220
You go, Dad!
26
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:37,120
During halftime, I actually scored two
bunch of boxes I actually hired a blimp
27
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:43,740
to fly over the stadium with a message
that reads, get this, Carl loves
28
00:01:44,860 --> 00:01:45,860
I like that.
29
00:01:46,260 --> 00:01:49,380
Mom is going to flip when she sees that
blimp. Well, that's what I'm hoping.
30
00:01:49,580 --> 00:01:54,760
Now remember, do not say a word. My lips
are sealed.
31
00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:56,140
Mm -hmm, but then you don't need this.
32
00:02:05,740 --> 00:02:07,780
I have the most fantastic news.
33
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:09,979
What? Halle Berry return my phone call?
34
00:02:11,060 --> 00:02:15,040
No. I'm talking about something that
could happen on this planet.
35
00:02:17,020 --> 00:02:21,300
Listen, honey. I'm surprising your
father with a wildly romantic evening
36
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:22,300
anniversary tomorrow night.
37
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,360
Oh, really?
38
00:02:24,540 --> 00:02:28,860
And I'm dying to tell somebody. Do you
want to know what it is? No, but I'm
39
00:02:28,860 --> 00:02:29,860
Dad would.
40
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,540
Oh, honey, don't be silly.
41
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,080
Then it wouldn't be a secret.
42
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,080
Oh, but Mom, secrets are bad.
43
00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:39,600
Besides, haven't you always... One peep
out of you and your grandkids will be
44
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:40,600
grounded.
45
00:02:41,340 --> 00:02:42,340
Gotcha.
46
00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:48,620
Hi,
47
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:54,240
Laurie.
48
00:02:56,820 --> 00:03:00,740
I wish I were going to Italy with you.
It's going to be so much fun.
49
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:02,480
Modeling can be such a grind.
50
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:07,150
Yeah. Well, buying me an expensive
present might make you feel better. And
51
00:03:07,150 --> 00:03:10,390
designer would you like? There's Armani,
Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana.
52
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:12,090
Yes, please.
53
00:03:14,390 --> 00:03:17,890
Now, what about you, my pretty
portabella? Any sweet plans for the
54
00:03:18,470 --> 00:03:21,730
Just some fraternity party Max and I are
going to. But don't worry, we won't get
55
00:03:21,730 --> 00:03:22,730
too crazy.
56
00:03:28,350 --> 00:03:29,350
What's so funny?
57
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,390
You getting crazy.
58
00:03:34,890 --> 00:03:36,950
supposed to mean? Laura, you may be a
lot of things.
59
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,690
Beautiful, kind, funny, but crazy? Come
on now.
60
00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:43,450
What are you talking about?
61
00:03:43,810 --> 00:03:46,090
When I'm that loose, I can get pretty
wild. Oh.
62
00:03:46,990 --> 00:03:50,250
Laura, your idea of getting wild at a
party is double dipping your potato
63
00:03:52,170 --> 00:03:55,830
Yeah? Well, I'm also taking this tape
back to the video store, and I have no
64
00:03:55,830 --> 00:03:58,810
intention of rewinding it. Ooh, stop the
madness.
65
00:04:00,350 --> 00:04:01,730
I'll call you tomorrow morning from
Rome.
66
00:04:01,990 --> 00:04:02,779
Mm -hmm.
67
00:04:02,780 --> 00:04:04,680
I should just be getting back from the
party by then.
68
00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:23,440
Be careful, Laura. I heard these parties
tend to get a little out of control.
69
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:25,120
Well, I'm in good company.
70
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,260
I plan to get a little wild myself
tonight.
71
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,020
Everybody thinking I'm a goody two
-shoes.
72
00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:40,120
Spread my wings a little bit.
73
00:04:40,540 --> 00:04:41,600
Kick up my heels.
74
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:42,920
Tear it up.
75
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:44,680
And you know why?
76
00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:46,820
Because this girl's got a little
something -something.
77
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:50,480
Laura, you ain't got nothing -nothing.
78
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,640
But then watch out, Miss Faye.
79
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,580
Because tonight, I'm going to get my
swerve on.
80
00:05:07,150 --> 00:05:08,270
How about a game of quarter?
81
00:05:08,570 --> 00:05:09,790
Okay. How do you play?
82
00:05:10,650 --> 00:05:15,130
Easy. You just bounce a quarter off the
table into a glass of beer.
83
00:05:16,890 --> 00:05:19,890
If you miss, you gotta chug the mug.
84
00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:21,750
Yeah!
85
00:05:25,270 --> 00:05:28,330
Instead of beer, can we play with diet
soda?
86
00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:32,690
I guess not, huh?
87
00:05:33,570 --> 00:05:34,570
Come on, girl.
88
00:05:34,810 --> 00:05:36,010
Let's check out the party.
89
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:43,620
The cute guy by the cake has my name
written all over him. Come on.
90
00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:50,220
Hey.
91
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:55,920
Oh, hi.
92
00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:00,120
I didn't see you. Can I have a beer,
please?
93
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,700
Here you go, here you go, here you go.
94
00:06:04,060 --> 00:06:05,620
Oh, thanks. Would you like a glass of
soda?
95
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:08,080
Sorry, Gidget, this is a fraternity.
96
00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:10,080
No soda.
97
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,540
Don't you guys have anything else
besides beer?
98
00:06:12,780 --> 00:06:13,780
Let me check.
99
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:15,900
No, we just got beer.
100
00:06:18,020 --> 00:06:19,280
We don't drink beer.
101
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:20,580
Come on.
102
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:22,660
What's the big deal?
103
00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:26,100
What is the big deal?
104
00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:28,560
Laura, you're actually going to have a
beer?
105
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:30,300
What the heck?
106
00:06:38,510 --> 00:06:39,510
Girl, I can handle it.
107
00:06:44,150 --> 00:06:45,150
Go, Laura!
108
00:06:45,390 --> 00:06:46,390
Go, Laura!
109
00:06:46,570 --> 00:06:47,570
Go, Laura!
110
00:06:47,730 --> 00:06:48,730
Go, Laura!
111
00:06:49,150 --> 00:06:51,210
Laura, can all the music stop?
112
00:06:51,670 --> 00:06:53,470
Girl, tell that to my booty.
113
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:14,360
I think we should leave
114
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:17,380
I know there's another party going on.
115
00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:40,660
You are such a good friend.
116
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:42,239
Thank you.
117
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,720
You're a good friend, too. No, no, no.
I'm serious.
118
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:48,840
You always care for me. And you know
what?
119
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,480
I appreciate it.
120
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:52,960
You know that?
121
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,480
I know you do.
122
00:09:55,140 --> 00:09:56,140
Now,
123
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,080
Opsy Daisy.
124
00:09:58,440 --> 00:09:59,440
You know what, Steve?
125
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:01,920
I am so sorry about your eye.
126
00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:04,020
No problemo.
127
00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:07,420
Actually, my vision's getting better.
I'm only seeing double now.
128
00:10:21,290 --> 00:10:22,650
swallowing black and blue eye.
129
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:35,900
to keep the anniversary plans a secret
from one another, that's your business.
130
00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:37,560
But please, leave it.
131
00:11:42,580 --> 00:11:46,180
Did you make any plans for tonight?
132
00:11:47,260 --> 00:11:48,260
Sure did.
133
00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:50,740
You?
134
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,560
Well, not just any old plans.
135
00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:56,900
We're taking a romantic cruise on Lake
Michigan.
136
00:12:02,510 --> 00:12:07,650
But I got us two luxury box seats at the
Bears -Packers football game.
137
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:09,830
How sweet.
138
00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:13,330
Well, a football game on our
anniversary?
139
00:12:14,790 --> 00:12:16,330
Well, yeah, a football game.
140
00:12:16,810 --> 00:12:21,410
With an extra special surprise during
halftime. What? We get to leave?
141
00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:25,910
Oh, that's cute, Harriet.
142
00:12:26,410 --> 00:12:27,410
Very cute.
143
00:12:29,110 --> 00:12:31,650
But a football game sure...
144
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,060
beats getting seasick on a stupid
cruise.
145
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,580
You think my present is stupid, Carl?
146
00:12:41,380 --> 00:12:42,380
Yeah!
147
00:12:42,820 --> 00:12:47,080
I'll have you know, Carl Winslow, I
spent a lot of time and money, none of
148
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:48,600
is refundable, to rent that boat.
149
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,100
Well, Harriet, what do you think?
150
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:54,840
That my tickets just fell from the sky,
screaming, I'm free!
151
00:12:55,180 --> 00:12:56,180
I'm free!
152
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,940
Well, Carl, we'll just have to use your
tickets another time.
153
00:13:03,470 --> 00:13:06,430
Harriet, the Bears do not play the
Packers again this year.
154
00:13:06,630 --> 00:13:10,790
Carl, I worked three months overtime
just to get enough money to even rent
155
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:15,490
boat. Well, Harriet, I called in a huge
favor to Commissioner Geist, who then
156
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:18,670
called in a huge favor to the mayor to
secure his season tickets.
157
00:13:19,930 --> 00:13:21,730
Let me tell you something, Carl Winslow.
158
00:13:36,510 --> 00:13:38,930
Field, box 134.
159
00:13:39,990 --> 00:13:45,950
Well, I'll be on a cruise in Lake
Michigan, so if you want me, get a
160
00:13:46,490 --> 00:13:49,890
I don't need to, because I'm already
married to one.
161
00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:53,230
Oh, yeah?
162
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:56,390
Well, it'll be a month of Sundays before
you get another two.
163
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,440
used to be a lot closer.
164
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,180
Looks like Miss Missy Miss is getting a
visit from Mr. Hangover.
165
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,280
Oh, my Lord.
166
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,000
What are you off to, a luau?
167
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:48,580
No, I still haven't locked in my new
look.
168
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:50,620
Surfer dude, what do you think?
169
00:14:51,460 --> 00:14:53,180
I think you're gonna make me blow
chunks.
170
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,700
Uh, well, what's gotten into you lately?
171
00:14:58,180 --> 00:15:00,220
I don't think you've ever had a drink in
your life.
172
00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:02,640
Last night, you turned into the St.
Polly girl.
173
00:15:04,010 --> 00:15:07,170
I've been sneaking out of house,
breaking my curfew. It's like lately I'm
174
00:15:07,170 --> 00:15:08,170
somebody I don't even know.
175
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:09,450
So I can relate.
176
00:15:09,590 --> 00:15:10,590
I'm there too.
177
00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:14,050
I guess we're just trying to find
ourselves.
178
00:15:14,590 --> 00:15:15,590
Well, that's right.
179
00:15:16,630 --> 00:15:20,770
You know, Laura, if you ever need
anybody to talk to, a pair of broad
180
00:15:20,770 --> 00:15:24,050
to lay your burdens on, I'm always
available.
181
00:15:24,930 --> 00:15:25,930
Thank you, Steve.
182
00:15:26,010 --> 00:15:27,270
I really appreciate that.
183
00:15:28,110 --> 00:15:33,010
And I'm also available if you'd like to
pick up where we left off.
184
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:52,480
But I didn't plant anything big or wet
anywhere near you.
185
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,580
Oh, yes, you did.
186
00:15:56,280 --> 00:16:00,740
Why, you laid a kiss on me that, that
singed my nostril hairs.
187
00:16:02,860 --> 00:16:06,500
The kind of kiss that changes things
forever between you and me.
188
00:16:08,340 --> 00:16:09,340
Steve.
189
00:16:09,740 --> 00:16:11,180
Oh, now, come on, Laura.
190
00:16:12,260 --> 00:16:14,520
You're honestly saying you don't
remember that kiss?
191
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:17,440
Sorry, baby.
192
00:16:24,970 --> 00:16:26,250
Aren't any different between you and me?
193
00:16:27,370 --> 00:16:28,370
Steve, trust me.
194
00:16:28,430 --> 00:16:30,570
Things are exactly the same between us.
195
00:16:33,830 --> 00:16:36,870
That kiss was the greatest moment of my
life.
196
00:16:38,410 --> 00:16:40,510
And Laura doesn't even remember it.
197
00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:44,490
Ooh, that's it.
198
00:16:44,710 --> 00:16:45,710
Ten more.
199
00:16:45,770 --> 00:16:52,070
And nine. And eight. Now tighten those
buttocks and feel the burn.
200
00:16:54,570 --> 00:16:55,570
Hurt me, baby.
201
00:16:57,090 --> 00:16:58,090
All right.
202
00:16:59,470 --> 00:17:00,470
Come on.
203
00:17:03,270 --> 00:17:04,270
Excuse me.
204
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:05,390
Pardon me? Mm -hmm.
205
00:17:10,710 --> 00:17:13,210
Would you mind passing me my newspaper,
please?
206
00:17:14,510 --> 00:17:17,750
Certainly. Thank you. Can I trouble you
for my magazine?
207
00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:19,589
Oh, no, no, no problem.
208
00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:22,270
Oh, my goodness.
209
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:24,109
I don't believe this.
210
00:17:24,369 --> 00:17:28,250
Now, you two both started out doing
something really nice for each other.
211
00:17:28,970 --> 00:17:31,210
But this thing has gotten way out of
hand.
212
00:17:31,890 --> 00:17:34,110
Now, Dad, I know you love Mom.
213
00:17:35,330 --> 00:17:39,710
And Mom, I know you love Dad. And that's
all that really matters here.
214
00:17:40,610 --> 00:17:42,590
Now, work it out.
215
00:18:14,770 --> 00:18:20,670
And the night's not over yet.
216
00:18:21,090 --> 00:18:23,270
When we get home, we're going to make
some popcorn.
217
00:18:23,930 --> 00:18:25,510
And put in that tape of the Bears game.
218
00:18:29,090 --> 00:18:32,850
Harriet, have I got a surprise for you.
A surprise?
219
00:18:34,310 --> 00:18:39,390
Now, take a look right up there.
220
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:47,530
And I thought of it all by myself.
221
00:18:49,050 --> 00:18:50,050
It's wonderful.
222
00:18:50,410 --> 00:18:52,170
And Harriet loves college, too.
223
00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:03,540
Eat it, Ray.
224
00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:06,220
What does that mean?
225
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:14,760
Well, it means that, um, it means that I
save 50 % if I share the
226
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:15,760
blimp with Ray.
227
00:19:20,170 --> 00:19:21,170
Happy anniversary.
228
00:19:29,170 --> 00:19:30,170
Girl,
229
00:19:32,690 --> 00:19:33,850
this weave is fierce.
230
00:19:35,210 --> 00:19:36,550
Let's face it, I'm good.
231
00:19:39,410 --> 00:19:41,390
Can I borrow your black shirt Friday
night?
232
00:19:41,650 --> 00:19:43,050
You know, the one with the pearl
buttons.
233
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,970
Did I tell you that Will Smith asked me
to marry him?
234
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:55,140
Hey, this is only a conversation if two
people talk.
235
00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:56,980
I'm sorry.
236
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:59,060
I'm sleeping on my mom for the last
couple days.
237
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,600
Ooh, that patch of smart hair on your
chin.
238
00:20:05,420 --> 00:20:12,420
It's just that ever since Dave started
improving himself, I find myself sort
239
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:19,260
of, kind of, well, you know, attracted
to him.
240
00:20:22,570 --> 00:20:24,990
This explains it. Can cause brain
damage.
241
00:20:28,370 --> 00:20:29,370
I'm serious.
242
00:20:30,450 --> 00:20:34,210
Remember last night when Steve said I
kissed him, but I told him I didn't
243
00:20:34,210 --> 00:20:35,410
remember because I was too drunk?
244
00:20:35,730 --> 00:20:37,990
Yeah. Well, I wasn't that drunk.
245
00:20:38,750 --> 00:20:40,310
You remember the kiss?
246
00:20:41,130 --> 00:20:42,130
Oh, yeah.
247
00:20:42,550 --> 00:20:43,870
And you liked it?
248
00:20:46,510 --> 00:20:47,630
Oh, yeah.
249
00:20:49,310 --> 00:20:51,790
Girl, you actually like Steve.
250
00:20:52,060 --> 00:20:53,060
Uncle?
251
00:20:53,580 --> 00:20:54,640
I'm starting to.
18778
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